You've prayed and prayed one thing. According to this email, you've prayed and prayed that he changes his mind.
Yeah, what's up everybody?
Welcome back to the podcast. And uh, this is man. What episode is it? Bernie? Mmm? Sometimes I have to sit in here and act like like, look up my podcast on let's see two hundred and terrible two hundred and six six, two undred and six. Welcome to the podcast, Bernie. Calculate how long have you been on the podcast? Years?
Yeah? Years, Man, what a privilege. It's been a fun ride.
Dude. You I love having you on here because you you have such wise answers, such wise counsel. And that's what we do, is answer people's questions. But we usually, like we just did, spend about at least thirty minutes when you get here working through our own questions that we have because we answer your questions on this podcast. But then we spend pretty good amount of time answering each others. And dude, you just told me you've had
like a major life switch. Kind kind of exaggerated a little dramatic on that, but but yeah.
I think minor shift with major impacts you could say that.
Yeah, so from one book, right.
Yeah, one book, Habits of the Household. If you haven't picked it up and read it, it's really really great. It's a Christian based book around the habits that we call normal things that we do throughout our days, throughout our weeks that our kids as we're raising them and we're kind of shaping what our households look like. It's
really an opportunity of formation for these kids. And I don't think a lot of times we forget that even the smallest things, the smallest rhythms are impacting them on a deep, deep level, and just kind of being aware of that. And then it was a great guide in just practical things, because sometimes we get caught up on these lofty ideas of loving God, serving people, reading the Bible, but how does that actually look when it comes to bedtime routine or screen time limits or food that we eat.
And so it does a really good job of kind of helping guide some of those rhythms, and it's been really great.
So, dude, so many people I think are out of rhythm, and there's a lot of factors that cause it. In America, people that are listening internationally might not understand this problem. We have but it's called youth sports, and it is I don't know, do you agree. I mean, it's horrible. I think that our kids should be in sports. Okay, and my kids all you know, both of them are
almost at all three, both of them are. But we have to have limits on that and it cannot rule our lives, it cannot rule our schedules.
I one hundred percent agree. I also think that even in the boundaries that you put sports, in competitive sports, there has to be an understanding of what is the purpose because there's a certain amount of pressure and like competitive nature that we can put on these kids at such a young age, and it's detrimental. It's it's more
detrimental than it is beneficial. Teaching them to work as a team, to put other people first, to kind of push through adversity, those things are really great, Yes, but man, I've just seen so many kids, and from coaches as well, just get really.
Just hurt.
I mean, it's the big word, or the best word to use. They just get hurt. And those are wounds that I feel like they're going to be working through for a long time. So I think, yeah, competitive sports dictating our time and just the impact it has on kids. I think the biggest thing that we've done this fall, like I was telling you earlier, is somewhat unintentionally, but somewhat after reading this book and talking through it, we've
we've slowed down. And it's amazing in our cult. It's amazing in our culture that that it's actually a counterculture thing to wait, slow down. You have family dinner and you cook food at your house together, and you eat together and you talk. And I'll be the first to admit in seasons past that was not us. And we have just kind of grabbed a hold of this, and I really hope we can hang on to it because I'm already seeing some of the benefits from us just being able to slow down.
Yeah, we have somehow gone into a culture now where we say, man, my kids are, I make them go be in sports because they need that for their leadership and development and social skills and athletic skills. And they cannot miss a practice. They cannot quit. You know how we are as Americans, We're fighters and we don't quit. So once you start something, you don't quit. And you need to be in in team sports and you need
to compete. And we've gotten into that somehow, and that somehow is now crept into Sunday mornings and we're no longer a culture at all that says we're gonna go to church as a family on Sunday mornings. We're gonna we're gonna have dinner together around a table as a family in our house. That's not a priority. It sounds nice, but it's definitely not because team sports and jobs win. I'm not, by any means saying that you cannot church and you cannot skip family dinner. I'm not saying that.
I'm just saying where does it lie in the priority list? And it's very interesting, and I'm right there with you that I have gone through decades of this myself, and I know you said you have to, but I think I think it might be time for us just to have a shift in priorities and understanding of what might be really important.
Yeah. From my childhood, I remember the normals. I remember what was the normal rhythm, not the exceptions. So if the normal rhythm is you skip church no matter what for a sports and that is where the priority is. When the kids are older, that's what they're going to remember.
That's what we are teaching them what is a normal rhythm, and by our actions and by our leadership and our discipleship of them really forming who they're going to be and what their priorities, what they're going to look back on when they're our age and say, my household, this was normal and so so. Yeah, I think we have we have the opportunity to recognize it. But you have to know in anybody out there who's listening, who's like, man, you guys are talking crazy right now in our culture.
Yet you will be fighting against the world. I've been in Romans twelve too, like Deep Dive recently, and I mean, do not conform to the pattern of this world. You're you're going to be fighting against the world if you try to slow down, if you try to say no to like more opportunities and more options. If you say no to those things in order to preserve your family mule time, to preserve your connection with your wifetime going,
it's going to be a fight. If you limit the amount of time you're on your smartphone or social media, you are going to be fighting against the culture. It's not going to be easy. So don't expect like, oh well, listen to Graan, Jey Bernie and then I just did this and it's like, oh, life is great. It's like, no, it's going to be a fight, but there are things worth fighting for and I think this is one of them.
So that's amazing. Man. You always come in here with some kind of great knowledge that I need, that I need to hear, and I appreciate that. Man. We answer questions on here. Whatever you have. It could be about any topic. You email us Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com and put it in the queue here.
And can I say something real quick about these question yea, because I was kind of thinking about coming up here and meet with you and the questions that people send, and I know that we've had some questions that are very similar in nature, and I started to think, is there anybody out there who may have a question that is so I don't want to say bizarre, but that is so uncommon that they don't want to send it in because they haven't they have It's easy to send
something in about a relationship and a breakup and a because maybe you've heard that on the podcast before. But I'm going to just challenge anybody out there if you if you have a question that just feels like, man, I can't put that out there because nobody's ever said anything like that. That's what we want, really like, we really want because there may be another person out there wishing they could ask the same question and get some
advice and some guidance. And so if one of you guys could just think of that thing you're going through, you may feel alone, but you're probably not, so put it out there.
So yeah, that's a great it's a great point. And the opposite is also true if you've heard the question so many times but you have a different way of saying it. By by all means, send it in because we have a tendency. Well, first of all, we're going to get We could probably give you a tweak on the answer for sure, because we don't have notes in front of us, and then s Secondly, so many people fail to wreck fail to hear their own story in someone else's as much as you do hear your story
in someone else's. There are the same group of people that are like, well, my problem is different, like this girl, Me and this girl were different. This girl that ghost to me right now, that's like I'm so heartbroken. It's different than all the other stories you read, Granger, my story is different, and so you could ask that again and then burning and I'll just reassure you maybe it's not that different. Maybe as humans were not as separate as you think we might be. That's good speaking of
Let's get to the next question. YEP. Subject line here says, how do I honor my father when I don't respect him? You've probably heard something like this since. Hey, Granger, I'm fifty three years old. I'm a woman who was raised by an abusive father. As time passed, I have forgiven him and our relationship was mended, but have always continued
to be guarded with him. I recently found out about something that he's done within the last ten years with my step sister, who is now deceased, and it's completely changed the way I feel about him. I've really been struggling with how I can honor him according to the Bible when I have zero respect for him. I want to do the right thing, but I really need help with this one. Thanks so much for a time, Tina. So awesome, Tina, thank you for emailing and being vulnerable
in this situation. I'm going to recap here. You're fifty three. You're raised by an abusive father, but as time passed, you forgave him, and it sounds like things got better. And then recently you found out some stuff. After you forgave him, after you thought that things were mended and were better, you found out he really was the same snake that you always thought that he was. Bible also
says a leopard doesn't lose its spots. So that's what happened here, and now you're struggling, and so let's walk through it. First of all, your forgiveness, and understandably, your forgiveness was conditional upon him not messing up again. So it's like, hey, dad, I forgive you as long as you don't ever do this again, and then he did. I don't blame you, because all of us at some level have a condition to our forgiveness, because we don't
have perfect forgiveness. But then the other thing is you've recognized that forgiveness doesn't mean trust. Forgiving someone doesn't mean now you trust them. I forgive you, now I trust you. That's false. You don't have to trust. You can forgive, which is a selfless gift that you give them as you're releasing that from yourself. But that doesn't mean I'm going to trust you. You're still a rattlesnake and you
can still bite me. And you kind of got that in the first paragraph when you said, but I've always continued to be guarded with him, then you found out he really screwed up. Now, I don't think any of that's part of your question. I'm just kind of establishing the situation. None of that's your question. Your question is how could I honor him? Because the Bible says honored your mother and father. You're saying, how in the world
could I do that? And that's the question, and I think it's a good one, and I think a lot of people are could be in a situation like this. And so without having any notes or special quotes or even the Bible besides my phone sitting in front of me, I would say, what do we think it means to honor? What do we think the Bible meant by that? Because
surely it would be all encompassing. It didn't say honor your mother and father unless they did this, And it also, of course the Bible that any inspired writer of the Bible would understand that that's not a universal thing. That parents are going to be good. Okay, so we know those two things, like that's just common sense. So as we're kind of unpacking this and building this story, and I'm trying to show y'all that what Bernie and I are doing it, we're not we don't have special revelation.
We're just gonna slowly, let's just talk through it and unpack it. And so I would say, probably in the same way that you could honor a soldier for what he has done and your father because he is your father by identity, by biological purposes, he's your father. Just like a soldier would be a soldier and participate in some battle and we would honor him or her for the battle the soldier, but that doesn't mean that we take that soldier's personal life and accept it and trust
it and love all of it. Right, what they have done. And we see this happening now when they're taking down statues because they're like, we honored him at one time, but then we found out some dark secret about him, so we're tearing down the statue. And I think that's when it comes there's a difference between the honor for who they are and what they represent. To you and the person that they are and what they have done in their life. I think we have to be able
to separate that. We think this is Tina. Tina.
Yeah, so, Tina, thank you for sending this in. You did what I just kind of asked. I didn't know this question was coming. So I don't think that abusive fathers are questions that we hear very often. But I know, whether it is physical or verbal, emotional, I know that there are a ton of abusive fathers out there, and one you don't deserve that at all. Nobody does. If you're listening and you're in this situation, there's nothing you've done to deserve the abuse that you're getting. It's not
right in any capacity. They are taking advantage of their power and their position, which we know is something that people can do.
For sure.
As far as showing like how I'm trying to like get down to this, like, well, practically, how does she show honor to him? I think you nailed it by saying there's a difference between forgiveness and trust, and you you know it's it's it's good for us to be guarded in a sense, especially when we're dealing with a snake of some kind. When we're dealing with toxic people, abusive people, we we have to put those boundaries in place. We have to align with other people that can help
establish those boundaries for us. As far as showing him honor, it's almost like she would need to clarify what is the nature of their relationship now, like did they still have family dinners? Are they in relationship currently? Yeah, I just don't know if it's If it's somewhat estrange, then I don't know how you really there's no interaction, there's no communication. I don't showing honor isn't going back to him and asking him to come be in relationship with you.
And we don't know the exact answer to give you for how you play that out. But since you're asking how to honor the Bible, basically is what you're saying, how to honor the Bible by that word honor. What's interesting because one Peter two seventeen, I'm gonna read the King James. Since a lot of people love King James. It says honor all men, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the King. A lot of other translations say honor the Emperor. So Peter is saying honor the emperor right now.
Obviously they have huge qualms with the Emperor of Rome. The Emperor of Rome is bringing persecution and will continue to bring persecution on people that Peter is associated with here, these Christians, and yet he's saying honor the Emperor. So this is something for you, Tina, to kind of wrestle with, is that the Bible is going to call you to honor your father, and the Bible is also going to
call you to honor everyone. Is the ESV says in One Peter two seventeen, it says, honor everyone, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the Emperor.
Yeah, man, that's good. As you were saying that, this kind of jumped out to me that maybe the practical nature of how Tina is to honor her father is really up to her. Is there's so much nuance we don't know. Yeah, But exactly it starts in her heart. Exactly, it starts with her viewing human life as God given and seeing the imaga day, seeing that there's value in his life. God has him here for a reason, and I view the way that I view him is not as a waste of life, as something that needs to
be taken off this earth. But that that's when I think that forgiveness really wells up in us and is and is true. Is when we look at that person that has abused us, that that person that is our enemy, persecuted us, whatever it is, and we see past that sin because that's all that that is unrepentant sin, and we can view them with a light of like, I still see the image of God in you, and I
know that there's value of human life. Now when you view someone that way, maybe the reactions that we have to them, or the responses or the communication, it will just look different. But I think that's a start to like finding the step and pathway towards honoring him is really.
Just how do I love? You? Said? Starts with the heart?
Yeah, how do we view him where it was our heart? Looking at him through what lends.
Instead of starting with him, start with your heart? Yeah, look at him as an image of God, an image bearer of God. Honor your father, Honor the Emperor.
And if you can't do that, that's where you are, be honest about that. I think there's counselors, there's therapy, there's things that you can like maybe there's some wounds in there that you really need to. Like, it's great talk about take to the father and just pray, pray, pray. I know that it sounds the most cliche thing in the world read proble, won't pray. I get it, guys, But there is so much power in it. Redemptive power, restoring power, and healing power.
Yeah.
I think that's that's where at startina. I hope that's helpful.
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slash Granger Smith. A lot of people will email and say, hey, man, how could I get a personalized message for my girlfriend that granger says happy birthday or happy anniversary to my wife, or how could I get a message to my son to tell them congratulations on finishing school or starting school. And I always say, well, it's super e cameo dot com slash Granger Smith, or download the cameo app and
search for me Granger Smith. It's super easy. You fell out the little form, it shoots a message to me and it says this person wants you to wish their son a happy birthday. Here's his name, here's what he's into, here's why he likes you. I could read that easily, pull out my phone, put on the selfie cam, and then make some kind of message. However you want me to do it and send straight to you. So that's an easy thing to do, especially if you have someone you want to buy a gift for that you don't
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into another question. We didn't get to too many questions in that last break, but we're gonna rock.
Me and Grell's just start blabbing. We could waste the old time.
That's true. So something else that's changed in my life with Burns is his brother now, his older brother is now a member at my church a Maas and Georgetown. And that's pretty cool, man, because I love your brother, and I've gotten to see him a lot more. There was a time when I only really knew you, and then I got to know him a little bit. We went to a conference together. It was our first time to really spend time together. And then, man, just a
crazy thing happened. Is life unfolded and the cow coach that We've had very deep connections with our two families
for decades, for all different reasons. And in this particular season, I was thinking about our church and I was thinking about your brother, and anybody might be wondering, why doesn't why don't you tell Bernie, Well, because Bernie lives a lot longer, You live a lot farther away than your brother lives a lot closer to me, And I just felt in this particular season, I was like, man, I got to hit up Jason because I would He could
serve our church so well. And there's an interesting thing about being a member at a local church that sometimes we think that it's for us, so that it could serve us and entertain us, and we could just absorb it, but it goes both ways equally. In a church, you know, you do take it in, but you also give it back equally because there's other people that need it. And I thought, man, Jason and Ann and his wife would be able to serve really well in our church, and
I think it would be great. So I texted him and he was like, a man, I'll never if you have a good feeling about it, I would never deny that. So yeah, we'll come check it out. Lo and behold, you know, several months later, now they are actually at the church.
Yeah, Matt, I am so excited for you to like dive deeper in relationship with that dude. There are very few men on this planet that have influenced me in the way that Jason has.
Yeah.
I could, Yeah, I could waste the rest of the
podcast time talking about it. But I'm excited that you're going to get to kind of jump into the you know, the depths of you know, what it means to you know, glorify God with our lives with you know, with him, it's yeah, he's super humble, so everything that he knows and has experienced when it comes to you know, theology and walking with the Holy Spirit and you it will take a while because he's going to be so interested in like hearing what you have to say and like
asking about this and but that's fun.
Man.
I'm so happy for you guys. I'm not jealous at all. But this is just it's all good man. This is though, you know, just another reason Tyler, Hello, Granger's brother, I've been asking you to come and run trails with me. Dude, they could do their church thing, we could do the trail run of things. Is it's just dirt church. That's the only difference.
Man. Come on, could let me ask you a question in relation to you living a lot farther away than your brother does from here. Why I was thinking about this today this morning. Why do you drive up here so often to be on this podcast.
Oh that's a long answer.
You were, but you were a busy guy. We've established that. Yeah, you have a well established career and a family. Why do you do this?
God said, go H opened the door, gave me the opportunities. And I think that part of my gifting is And you know, there's another book I'm reading right now by Jamie Winship. I don't know if you know him. It's called Living Fearless, and it talks about like our true identity in Christ and how we are created uniquely each one of us for certain things, and a lot of
times we're living in a false identity. So there's we're not feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit, we're not feeling the fruit of the Spirit, We're not we're running into turmoil. There's a lot of different things. Or maybe we're just complacent in this identity that's a false identity. And I think what when we first started, when you asked me to come do this, and the first time that we did it, it really felt the format of it and what you were asking of me felt like it fit into my identity.
And how you say that your identity has to do with the humility, curiosity, diligence, and confidence.
Sorry that's what you're Yeah, these are these are core values of our company. But yeah, I think there's you know, there's those are in there, but really just being able to listen, listen to people and just empathize and no matter if it's you know, and and you've seen this with me and you for a long time. I'm not just gonna like hand the dude on the street corner five dollars, I'm gonna sit down and talk to him.
I'm gonna understand his name, But then I have billionaire clients that I have to also be able to sit with and like the same thing. We were telling Tina to view both of those people with the same value of life and and really consider them more important than myself, Like, Hey, what can I do to help you? What can I do to help you? What can I hear? You can I is there something I can impart? And and yeah, this just going on tour with you was awesome and being able to meet you know a lot of these
Ye Nation fans. Man, It's just such a privilege. I mean, I think the short answer is is like, who wouldn't want to do this? It's so it's really really fun. And to get to say it with one of my best friends and talk about life and all the God's doing.
Yeah, man, dude, you know what that means to me and what it's It's important to say this on the podcast too. Before we get to a question. Is basically what you said, because when you started it and you said, what do you say? This is what God called me to do.
That's what God told. God said, you said, God said, go Well, so somebody might hear that and be like he audibly said, Bernie, go you no, but how you articulated it through your story is what you mean is when you are in the word, when you when your prayer life feels healthy and it's not ever going to be great, but when it feels healthy and you you feel like you you have a good walk, and you have people around you that are counseling you and that
are walking with you and affirming you as you're moving forward, then at that level, you could start doing what you want to do because you're following the desires of your heart that God has given you those desires. You don't have unrepentant sin lurking around in your life. So at that level, when I say hey, Bernie, want to come to this podcast, and you think you feel, yeah, I want to, then you follow that because that equals God says, go. How far is a drive for you?
It's about forty five minutes from my office. My office is about twenty minutes the other way from my house, So from my house it's over an hour. But I'm usually downtown in my office and then I'll come up, work for a while and then come up.
That's all I'll do. Well, I appreciate you, and I know these people do too, So thank you man, Thank.
You, thank you.
You want to do a question here.
Let's do I think that's what this podcast is about, so we should probably get to more of those.
Here's you. Remember when you started this and you said, ask me something different? This might be it. Just judging by the subject line, it says want another baby, but husband isn't on board. Hey Granger, I'm hoping you could help me with this struggle that's been very heavy on my heart for over a year now. We have two boys, ages eight and ten, but we have felt the persistent feeling in my heart. But I have felt the persistent feeling in my heart that our family needs another child
to be complete. However, me and my husband decided about four years ago that our family was complete with two. But our lives have changed drastically over the last two years, and I feel more capable and ready to add to the family. But my husband is not all caps on board. He says, age, among other things, is a factor for him. He's forty and I am thirty four. How can I
get past this? I have prayed and prayed for him to change his mind, but it hasn't happened, and I have not felt peace in my heart to just leave this behind. I don't want to resent him for it, but I'm struggling with accepting that no into my heart. Any advice is welcome. Thank you, Stephanie from Ohio.
Well, I like this question. Hmm, this is good.
We could get we can we could really dissect this question here.
Okay, So let's let's do this because I heard last week when Amber was on she said, you know, without uh, there's a lot of other follow up questions I would like to ask, and since we don't have that option this her name is Stephanie. Yes, okay, I'm going to be Stephanie. Okay, and I know that Stephanie. There's a
ton of nuance to everything you're saying. But if there's questions that you I'm going to pretend i'm Stephanie, and if you have questions that fall like, ok just a little more context, I'm going to give that to you as if that's her, and maybe it is, maybe it's not, but it'll at least give us like a okay, if that is the answer to these things, then we would answer it this way.
So okay, Hi, Stephanie.
Thanks Cranger for reading my question, what do you think?
Oh, you always make me laugh on these. I'm assuming Stephanie, that you had a maybe a very busy job with two kids at home, and you guys decided collectively, you agreed no more children after this.
Yes, that's what drastically changed is that I have You know, my husband got a raise as well, which also kind of like gave us a little bit more of a buffer for stress and the finances, but also allowed me to be at home. And so now I feel like I have more bandwidth.
Did you know, Stephanie, that when he says age among other things, that's the factor for him. He's forty. Did you know that he's not telling you the whole story. No, Yeah, there's there are other fears that he has there, and he might not be able to fully tell you because he's a man and you're a woman, and he might not be able to fully articulate all of what he's feeling.
But there is a core of fear in that and a contentment that he has with what he has now and why risk it when you could have a child with some kind of disability, or you could have a miscarriage, or you could you could suffer a loss, and to add something else to this family adds the risk that he could be responsible for a loss or a or a death, or a heartache, or a disability or any number of other things. And that is not a risk he's willing to take right now.
Did you know that I want to make sure I'm getting the character backstory right. Did she mention anything about being follower Jesus?
No? Okay, no, no, no, no, she said, I have prayed and prayed for him to change his mind. But that's the only context we have.
Okay, so.
Let me say something interesting stuffan me is that you're prayer is for you. Did you realize that you've prayed and prayed one thing according to this email, You've prayed and prayed that he changes his mind.
Yeah, but what.
About your mind or your heart? Yeah, it's very interesting to think about with the dynamic that's going on that this sounds very one sided, both on both spouses here. Yeah.
So I've prayed and prayed for him to change his mind. I just feel like he's he's being stubborn. And since I pray, I'm a believer, and I also know that the Bible tells me that I am as the wife to submit to my husband. Am I so supposed to just like submit to his authority that like, this is the decision for our family? Or do I just keep fighting for this?
Well, I just so happened to have been in the situation very similar to this one. I've lived it, and so that's why this is this whole question is interesting. And in fact, even the age thing, I was forty. I was the forty year old husband in the situation, but the situation was flipped. I was the one that felt like our family wasn't complete and we could have another baby. I had, in my words, I had more love to give. And Amber was not on board with it.
She said, no way, River was their last. How could we even think about replacing him? I won't even consider it. But here's a thing, here's a thing. It was It was difficult to hear that, but she's my wife, and so I had to say, I love you, I trust you. We have to be all in with something like a that's a really big deal, the biggest deal in our family. We have to be all in together, and if you're not, then I won't push you and I won't bring it up again. I just had a feeling, and I understand,
I'll back off. Guess what happened when I said that about a week or two goes by, and she said, I've been thinking it was nagging her. I've been thinking, and since you said that, I don't want to. I don't want to discount a feeling that you had. So maybe I should just at least talk to the doctor. Just we'll just see what the doctor says about our ages and about the situation she had her tubes tied. Maybe we'll just see what the doctor says. We're not saying, yes,
let's have a baby. We're just saying, let's just see if there's an option to even try. And suddenly that opened up. And I didn't say absolutely right, you know it. We're going to get this about time you submit. You know I didn't say that. I said, okay, I said and if any point you start feeling uncomfortable, we're done. We're backing out. And Stephanie, so would I would tell you have you been that way to your husband or is it just like have you just have you made
up your mind yet? Because I'm really just I'm the clock is ticking, and I feel my biological clock and this is I'm thirty four and then this is my last chance? And is that how you are?
Guys? Granger has just done for Stephanie what he does for so many of you. That is just it's where it all lies. The answers to all of these questions most of.
The time.
Lie in you taking the mirror and turning it on yourself, like starting with your heart, your approach, your response. So that's the question, Stephanie, is what is your conversation around this topic, like with your husband? And if you sense around this topic that there is there's something there, don't keep pushing on it. Maybe just like pivot and say, hey,
I'd love to talk about this thing. I feel like it may be bugging you or just there may be something going on with him and if the answer to your question may just be you know, secondary, so like try to connect with him and understand like why does he feel like the family's done? Or why doesn't he want to have another kid? And approach it with a kind of a grace mentality like Granger's talking about, but also start with just examining like how am I approaching it?
Where is my heart at in this? And I don't know, I think that you may actually it may change your heart and it may change his heart at the same time. Yes, and you may be surprised at where you guys end up. It may not be with having another kid, but I guarantee you it'll be with you and your husband having a better relationship.
So that's so good. So when when that's so good, let me, let me give you a quick thought on a prayer. Stuffan me. Instead of saying, God, change his mind, change his mind, change his mind, what if it was this God, you, if there is another baby in this family, you know it. You have done it, you have purposed it, you've planned it. You are sovereign, you're providential. So if there's another baby, it's coming and there's nothing stopping that. But I pray right now because I want one and
you know that I want one. But I also feel like this is a lack of trust in you that I'm feeling like it's up to me to convince my husband. That's ridiculous, the Lord, I'm so sorry. I repent of that, to think that the baby's up to me and that my husband has to decide and I have to convince him a baby is here or not, depending upon you. So I just trust you you and to praise you, and I glorify you soften my heart. And if there is a baby, I pray that you soften my husband's heart.
And this comes together with clarity. Let me know what to do in these next steps. I will try that, try that kind of prayer, and that will change you. And I can tell you from experience, those kind of prayers rearrange everything inside you.
Yeah. Thanks graner N Dude, that's Goreird Stephanie. Yeah, he just nailed it.
You want to take a much lighter hearted question here. Next one, the subject client says don't trust myself to date while on the road while working on the road. That says, Hey, my name is Ashton. I'm twenty one years old and I work on a pipeline and I like this girl, but I don't trust myself enough to date while I'm working on the road, and I don't know what I should do.
I'm not laughing at Ashton. Sometimes when you read questions, depending on what the content is, Griz Okay, yes, yeah, Ashton, you got some trust issues, man um and you're and you may be going after the wrong girls.
Yeah, uh, yeah, I don't know. What it is. Yeah. Yeah, if you if you're if you're twenty one and you like a girl and you don't trust yourself to be faithful to her, then keep looking. Keep looking. There's two things could be wrong. Once, she's not the right girl and two you're not in the right space. And I got I got a feeling it's probably both at the same time. Yeah.
Yeah, and you're and you're young. Don't don't rush.
Yeah, nothing wrong twenty one, you're you're totally good. Yeah. And at the same time, don't go be a whore. Just don't do that either. Yeah. This question says subject line what what's next for the band? Hey grangeraw is wondering what the band member's reaction is was to you retire from music, and what the next step is for them, and how the rest of the crew is involved in touring, like the bus drivers and Tyler. Thank you for being
a light in the world, Emily. Yeah, Bernie got the privilege of going out the last few weeks, and I did see in everybody and and maybe you could attest what the attitude was like backstage.
Yeah, I talked, I talked to those guys. I talked to it just about everybody apart from you, So they weren't just like in front of Granger trying to say, oh that's great. I think that there was a just a spirit of gratitude and like understanding. I think at first, you know, you know, it was like WHOA, this is going to be a big change. I felt like an excitement from people that there was there was opportunity, and sometimes like you know, I think there was acceptance of like, man,
God is doing something here amongst that team. Man, I just felt like people sensed God is doing something. How how am I going to be a part of it? Some of them had, you know, you can speak more specifically, like what they're going to do. I know Chris is staying on with you. Obviously, Tyler is going to continue everything he's doing. But the band guys, I mean, Johnny is gonna be with you in some sense.
Yeah. So I think there was a sense of everyone was very kind of at peace with it and content with it, and some of them saw it coming. I guess I could say that to your first question of what do they think when you told them? Some of them were shocked and so kind of all the emotions, there is a sense within all of them of a little bit of worrying on what's going to happen in the next season, because no one really had a for
sure plan. I think Nard my merch guy, he's assistant tour manager for Cody Johnson, now Ryan my monitor guy. He's out working with somebody, maybe even Cody Johnson to Ryan as a stud So love those grizz the front of house guy love him. And he is working for a media company in Austin, not traveling anymore, just got married and they're pregnant now, so South Austin Grizz. Yeah, I think he is. I think he is. Todd's gonna be playing lots of gigs doing doing what he does.
Dusty is in a season of limbo. Not really sure. I'm secretly hoping that he doesn't tour. He's a fantastic drummer and such a value to any band. But he's also a father of three and they're building a home, and I think this might be a really cool season for him to see what it's like for the first time in his life to not travel and to what was it redeemed the household.
What was it habits of that, habits of the household.
And then Johnny is probably going to be doing some property management for me here the Yege Farm and some other places, which I'm excited about.
And then he'll pick up some gigs too, right yeah, yeah, And the.
Him and his wife have a real estate deal going on that they like to flip houses, and he's a really good handyman. And then Chris is still working for me. His role instead of tour manager, it's more like personal assistant. And Tyler is still managing, and Paul is still editing this podcast and all that. So yeah, they the guy's got a they got a bonus and tomorrow as we record this podcast tomorrow they'll get it and they know it's coming. But they're all going to get a bonus.
And that the money is from the buses that we sold. So I think it's really cool that and kind of poetic that the the vehicles that took them away from their families for so long are the that's the money that's being paid back to them to their families. Yeah, so in that aspect, there's not like they're hurting. They're not like looking for immediately to pay the bills or anything. So they're all okay. But but it's going to be an exciting time to see what's next for everybody, and
I'll still keep in touch with everybody. Yeah.
I think there's something really special about new seasons and chapters, kind of like ending and new things beginning.
So same, same, great bro. I appreciate you being on Yeah, thanks for having me again. See next time. See all of y'all next Monday. Ye, thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never
miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
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