#200 Wow! We've Made It This Far!

it comes down to. I would have stopped a long time ago if the viewership wasn't very good or no one really cared, or no one came up to me and meet and greets and said how excited they were about the podcast. So when I do hear that stuff, I love it, and it gives me motivation to keep going because I have a lot of stuff going on, you know, between after midnight radio show to the Smiths YouTube vlog twice a week, to touring music which is insane right now, to lack a River book which is

now out. What do you think about that? And that's crazy. I have a book out, and so I'm an author now technically officially, and so I'm supporting that book going out and preaching and doing stuff with that. I also have Ye Apparel, which which I have to stay on top of and all that of our seasonal launches and keeping up with with everything that goes into running an apparel company. And then I'm my husband and I'm a father, and I have you know, duties here at the house.

So there's just a lot of stuff going on, and the podcast is something that I need to make time for and I do that because I'm so encouraged by all the people that listen. I'll put it that way. So I also have a morning show and iHeart now too, but we'll talk about that later. Happy two hundred episode. Thanks thanks for being here, and if you have a question for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.

That's the format of what we do here. And I want to talk about Like a River as well, So if you have a question about lack a River, go ahead and send those in. Now that what I'm expecting is people kind of getting into the book now and digging a little bit deeper. Last week I talked about I answered your questions about it, but I would love to be able to get deeper into the book itself.

Maybe someone has a specific question and in the future, not today, we're not live, but a specific question in the future about a certain thing that I wrote, or something that happened to me, or maybe a specific chapter like, Hey, you mentioned in this specific chapter that this crazy thing happened to you or you thought this or said this. Why did you say that? Why did that happen to you? What biblical evidence do you have to what you said?

Give me questions like that so that we could help walk through it, so that if anyone is in a situation anywhere close to similar to mine, that will be very helpful. So use. What I'm saying is use this podcast is a way to bounce off ideas back to me about like a river, because I am expecting people

to read it. Hopefully, I'm expecting people to read it and go, huh that chapter eight, there's some things that happened that he wrote about that I would like to know more about where he got that idea or why he thought that or why he saw it this way? Okay, does that make sense? So Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. We'll start that. I'm throwing that out there so that we could start moving towards that next week. Hopefully we'll get a couple of those a week or so. That's

that's the goal. And meanwhile, let's jump back into your old questions, the ones that you have submitted, and I'll walk through these like we're sitting in the cap of a truck. First one on the docket, right off the bat subdecline says filthy language and TMI in front of grandchildren, Dear granger, my son and his wife think nothing of cursing in front of the children and also speak very

candidly about politics to the point of distraction. I have tried speaking to them, and they believe that the children don't even pay attention to anything that they're saying, and they wish to do nothing different. My husband and I are very concerned. It disturbs us greatly. Any advice would be welcome. Thank you, Sylvia, Thank you Sylvia, thanks for emailing. And let's kind of dissect the question a little bit. First of all, my personal belief cussing, cursing in front

of children is not good. Speaking very candidly about politics to the point of distraction, or anything else that is adult conversation around kids not good. And then let's move on to the back half of your question. Essentially, what you're saying is they say that children don't even pay attention to anything. They're saying, of course they do. Of course children of course pay attention. They are much more aware than we can possibly imagine. So that's true every

so far, all this stuff you said is true. Here's what I want to challenge you on, Sylvia. I want to challenge you on your approach to all of this, because you can easily come across as judgmental grandma like y'all shouldn't be cussed. You don't be cussing in front of them kids, don't be saying talking about politics in front of them kids. They are listening to you. You wrong, and you know you're just gonna come across as jaded and judgmental. That by no means is that the way

that you sound. That's just I'm just saying there's a danger and going too far and becoming judgmental. So what I want to do is I want to challenge you to answer all of this with love, and remember that it's love that's motivating you to do any of this. It's love for your children, it's love for your grandchildren. It's not some kind of You're you're trying to figure out a way for them to be military students or you know something. You're not sending them off to board school,

boarding school. You're you're you're actually you love them so much that you care about how they're being influenced. Now, So remember that, And why do you love them? Well, fundamentally, you love them because you love your children, and they're your children's children, and they're part of you, They're part of your blood. So all of this, all of this is a is a way to a way to go about it. The wrong way can easily turn them off. Right, it can easily turn them off. So I want you

to come in like this. I don't know you. I don't know if this is your your son or your daughter. I don't know, But what's a pretend it's your son? Just son? I love you and I care about you, and I worry sometimes that using language that's not appropriate for children could be a bad influence on them. How could I help you? How can I help you and your wife? Maybe you're stressed and you need me to take it off your plate a little bit. How could

I help serve you son? Right? How do you do that and always pouring in from a love perspective instead of judgmental. Always back off. The judgmental thing is not gonna work. They're gonna be like, get out of here. Let me raise my kids the way I want to raise my kids. Right, So you're always leading with love. And then in the meantime, you're talking to your grandkids and you're like, if you hear those words come from them, then you just gently remind them, no, sir, no, ma'am,

we do not use that language in this house. We do not use that language in this house. So you're reinforcing with the kids and you're loving the parents. Okay, next question is subseglance is too late? Hey, Grangould like to stay anonymous for this one. I'm seventeen. I've grown up in a very strong Christian home. Last year I went to a so called Christian school, and since then I have lost my fire and passion for God. I try to read my Bible and talk to God often.

I always start doing it, and no matter how hard I try to keep it going, it only lasts for maybe a week before I lose passion again. I've also struggled with ongoing sin for the past number of years, and maybe that is leading me away from God. My question is is it too late? Has my heart been hardened? I cry out to God often and nothing has ever come of it. I know that if I do not repent and turn to God, I will miss out on

living with Him in heaven for eternity. But I feel stuck in a daze where, for some reason and I cannot actually seem to commit my life to him. PS. I'm sorry this is long, and I really like your songs. My current is hate you like I love you. Okay. Question comes from Zephyan and he's seventeen and we need you and I need to have a serious discussion. You're ready, Okay. I'm reading your email, and it is it's become apparent that you have forgotten that you are saved by grace

through faith. This is not your own doing. So I want you to be aware that all of what you're saying, because it's all leading up, all of your question is leading up to where'd you say it? Right here? I will miss out on living with Him in heaven for eternity. So you're talking about eternal life, You're talking about salvation. You don't want to miss out on salvation. That's what you're saying. The only way you're going to miss out on salvation is if you're not saved by grace through faith.

And that is not it, says Ephesians two nine says, is not your doing. Rest in that, brother, rest that. It is not your works. It is not your how much you decide to be a better person. It is. It is not how much you do good and less bad. It is not how much you read your Bible. It is not how much you talk to God. It's not how much you pray. It none of that. You're saved by grace. That is a gift for unmerited favor. Right, you do not deserve it, you did not earn it.

But you're saved by grace. So yes, turn to him in repentance. But faith is a gift. Repentance is a gift. Turn to him, repent and believe that's the only thing you're responsible for. Now, what happens when you do that is you'll start to see the fruits of your repentance, the fruits of your faith, the fruits of your salvation. What are the fruits. One of the fruits is of many. One of the fruits is you'll hate your sin. Look at you. That's what you're doing. Do you hate it?

You're doing everything you can do eradicate it. In fact, you're emailing me to talk about it. You're like, man Granger, I hate my sin. I just want my Lord Jesus. I want to be with them in eternity. I want to turn to him. I want to love him. I want to be with him. But I got the sin and I want it out of my life. That is repentance. You're doing it, brother, That is a fruit of your salvation. So I want to tell you, if anything right now on this podcast, I want to tell you have blessed assurance.

You're saved. Brother. Rest in that. Rest in that, and then out of gratefulness, because you will spend eternity with your heavenly Father right out of gratefulness for that, out of the abundance of your heart. Then start killing that sin. Start kindling that fire that you're talking about, how no matter what you do, you always lose it again. Start kindling that not out of works, not out of need

to be better for God. Do it out of on the other side of your heart, gratefulness that you're saved and you're a wretched sinner and you didn't deserve any of it. But because you didn't deserve it, because of your unmerited favor that you've been given by God, out of his grace, you've been saved, and out of that side of your heart, the gratefulness overflows and you go cut. I'm so grateful that you saved a wretch like me, like the song amazing grace. And so because of that,

I want to know you more. I want to study you more. I want to read my Bible more. I want to cultivate this flame that sometimes starts to flicker out and turns to embers, and I want to rekindle it, not because I need to get to heaven, but because I want to know my savior. I hope you see the difference, Zephyan and I appreciate everything you said, and I want you to see the difference. We're gonna take a break your back. Thanks for listening to the podcast.

Now we are at one complete week. Since Like a River has come out. What do you think of Like a River? Did you buy the book? Were you able to check out the book? Did you check out the audio book? Because that's something that's very special to me. Recording the audiobook reading the book. That was the first time I read the final manuscript after I made all

the edits and changes individually in different pieces. Then I came back and once it was complete, read it for the audiobook, and it was in so many ways I think I cried or at least got choked up in some way, not just sad, but a lot of times happy, happy, choke up sometimes in each chapter. So that's special to me. If you read the book Like a River and you're looking for more, I would suggest the audiobook. Listen to that, maybe on a road trip or maybe on a work commute.

You can go back and forth, and it's only going to take you a few trips to work before you finish the book itself. But I'm just I'm so appreciative, so grateful that a lot of y'all have reached out to me since the release of Like a River. And this is my story. This is the story of my wife and I and our journey, and our kids journey, and my extended family's journey. After we lost our little

boys three years old. His name was River, and we lost him in twenty nineteen, I hit rock bottom after that, and the story is the rise from rock bottom and the way that it happened and all the ways that I tried to make it happen that didn't work. And this book is, I hope, I hope, an encouragement to so many people that are suffering with some kind of grief or loss or pain or depression. If it's if it's something that you believe in, then share it with a friend and let's get this book into as many

hands as possible. Back to the podcast, back from the from the break here and reminding everybody that Like a River, my book is out, So please part of your questions, which you email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Part of your questions, I would love to start seeing some specific questions about the book Like a River it is. It is my grief journey after we lost our little boy River. He was three years old in twenty nineteen. My wife and I lost him and I hit rock

bottom as deep as you can go. I went to specific details of this in the book as I tried everything I could to come out of this, to try to be better person, to try to be the rock for my family, to try to not have PTSD, to try to be okay again. I tried everything and it didn't work. I ended up back down at rock bottom. And by chapter seven of that book, it doesn't get any darker. In fact, that chapter is called the Dark Knight of the Soul. But you have to keep reading.

You have to go to chapter eight. Don't call me, don't message me, don't email me at chapter seven until you get the chapter eight, and then message me, ask me questions. Let's unpack this. Let's talk about how this could happen to you as well. Okay, Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Email me, and let's jump back into these questions here. Sub decline on this one says problems. Hey Grange, I'd like to stay anonymous. A few months ago, I was at a very low point in my life.

I prayed to God to send me a friend or a partner. The other part of my prayer was for him to send only a partner if she is who God intends to be my wife. The very next day, I met this girl and we started hanging out every day and everything was amazing until she started to become distant. I tried to discuss this with her and she got mad and she said she didn't want to force a label, which I wasn't, but we agreed to take things slow.

But she eventually didn't even want that. I was torn apart and I couldn't continue, so I ended things and she agreed. She said that she couldn't be what I wanted, when all I wanted was to make take things slow with her. I continue to think about her every single day. It's becoming very difficult because I removed her on all social media and it's been on multiple it's been multiple months, but I still think about her twenty four to seven. I've never felt this way for someone, and no one

compares to her. I feel like I lost the one. Thanks Anonymous. All right, brother, thanks for emailing. I love the format of this podcast because I can be an outside source for you. I could be someone that sees the outside perspective. I'm not in the trenches with you. You're deep in the trenches, and your family and your friends are somewhat in there as well. But I'm not at all. Brother. I don't even know you. I don't know your situation. I don't know who your mama is,

I don't know your hometown. I don't even know how old you are, so I am totally outside the bubble. All I know is you have emailed me asking for advice. So that's great. That's great because I could tell you from the outside perspective. I could shoot you straight with tough love, and that way you'll know you're getting an unbiased answer. I have no reason to make you feel

warm and fuzzy, to make you feel happy. I have no reason to for you to be distant from this girl and hate this girl, or to love her and marry her. I have no reason, know nothing for any of this except for my opinion. You're ready. Here we go the whole first part. You're praying this whole making a deal with God thing is is wrong and it's bad. You're you don't make deals with God, like you said, My prayer was for God to send me a partner, only if she was the one who God intends to

be in my life. Don't make deals with God. You're not in Vegas. You're not talking to a car dealer. You know you're not. You're not playing what's that show on TV? Make a deal or whatever, Let's make a deal. You're not. You're not talking to God that way. You're saying God, you know my heart, I desire a wife. In fact, your word says it's a good thing for a man to have a wife. Your word says that a man shouldn't be alone. That's your promise. So you know I desire that for myself. You built me, You

created me. You know I desire a girl. But Lord, I will trust you that if she hasn't come into my life yet, if you haven't sent one to me yet, then it's not in your timing. So I trust your plan, not mine. I will responsibly look. But I pray God that you give me discernment on who I should be settling down with. And ultimately I trust you God, I hear none of that in this. I make a deal plan, you send me the next one. I open my eyes, and you know, it's like Genie pops out of the

bottle stuff. Be very careful with that, because what happened is you said that make a deal, Genie pops out of a bottle plan, and then the next girl that comes around that you have a crush on, you think she's the one, and then that girl gets really freaked out because you're pressing in so close. She doesn't know what to think. She feels smothered, she feels responsible that she's like an answer to your prayer. And she's like, I don't know. I've never asked to be part of

your prayer. I never asked to be part of this answered prayer thing. And how did I pop out of the bottle, the genie in the bottle? How is that me? I didn't sign up for this? And you're like, listen to me. I prayed for you and God brought me you, and you are the one, by the way, soul mate or the one that stuff is pagan it is it is not what we believe, this whole idea that there is one soul for you, there's one soul mate for you. There is only one. There is only one. I know

it sounds romantic, but it's just not true. It's weird. Okay, There's there's like four billion girls on this planet, so you're gonna find a one, okay, And it's okay. You'll find one that's compatible, and God will bless that relationship and you'll and you'll responsibly carry forth. You're into the deal. Okay, look at it that way. It's not romantic at all what I just said. But let let's be practical about this.

So this is what happened. You brought all this pressure on her to be the one and the answer to the prayer, and then of course she starts to feel distant, and as she becomes distant, you're you're tugging closer. You're like, hey, I don't want to lose you. You're the one. Oh man, Okay, maybe we should take things slow at this point, you're just compromising. Okay, fine, we'll take things slow. Okay, I'm going to wait a couple of days before I text you.

And you're you're making it worse, Anonymous, You're making it worse here. You're compromising because you're so crazy about her, and part of it is because you think God brought her to you. It's borderline psycho once again, outside perspective. I love you. That's why I'm reading your email. If I didn't love you at all, I wouldn't read it. I hope you know that. But it does nothing if I just coddle you and just say yeah, I'm so sorry. Man, this girl she's the one. Go get her. She was

the answer to your prayer. I'm not going to say any of that stuff. So let's move forward. In the email, she said she couldn't be what I wanted, true, because you wanted her to be the one. That's what your last sentence says. I feel like I lost the one, right you see that. But here's what you said. You said all I wanted was to take things slow. Now it's not that's not all you wanted. That's not all

you wanted. Let's be honest. Moving on, it says it's becoming very difficult because I removed her on all social media and it's been many months. Excellent, good job. I think that's a great move. If you've listened to me before, you know that, I always advise cutting it off. Cut off to social media. You don't want to wake up in the morning and see her on Facebook or Instagram and it just makes things worse. So good job on that.

What you need to do is you need to trust God that you prayed for at the beginning of the email. You prayed to this God for sending you a partner, and you made this deal. I need you to take back all that stuff and go back to him and say God, I just I'm not going to pray for a partner. I'm not gonna pray you send me a wife. I'm gonna pray for your will to be done, not mine. I'm gonna pray for your purpose as you promised to

be what it reigns victory over my life. Take my heart, have redemption over me in the cross, with your son that you sent in the flesh to become a substitute for my broken I trust in that. I am satisfied in that. That is my joy alone. Lord, you know my heart. You know I want a girl. But if that never happens, so be it. I trust you and your plan, not mine. Go back, say that prayer started the drawing board. Let months go by, you will heal.

Here's a question, Subjecline says, Like a River, Hey Granger, I'm Sarah twenty eight from North Carolina. First of all, I want to say thank you for your due diligence with your family music company podcast and now ministry. I've listened to your podcast every week for the past three years. I am always excited to hear the discussions and how they relate to my life. Hearing everything, I've been able

to put your advice into my own life. My question is, will your book Like a River be available on Spotify? As an audio book. Thanks again for doing fantastic things, and please continue to do God's work. Blessings, Sarah Harky. Sarah, thank you so much for that encouragement. That's amazing. You've listened every week for three years. That is so encouraging, and that kind of stuff just leads to me to keep going past episode two hundreds, So thank you so much, Sarah.

Let's get into your question. Will your book Like a River be available on Spotify's an audiobook? No, I don't believe Spotify, at least I've never seen audiobooks on Spotify. This podcast is on Spotify, but not an audiobook. An audiobook is available on Audible the app. There are probably maybe other apps that carry audiobooks, but Audible is the one I use. So yes, I recorded it and I would love if you check it out on Audible or wherever you wherever other places that you listen to audiobooks,

So let me know what you think of that. I'm actually very excited about the audiobook itself because I enjoyed making it and recording it, and there's some people that will that will prefer the audiobook and you could use it for road trips or if you work. You know, if you commute to work, then you could knock it out in just a few commutes. So I appreciate the encouragement on that next question subject, Gline says, insight, Hey Grangeer, my name is Matthew and I live in Virginia with

my wife and daughter. To keep it short, I have messed up my marriage through my addiction to pornography. I am grateful and blessed to say that she is still with me and has remained faithful to me even in times when I haven't been to her. I'm currently a part of a porn recovery program and have learned so much. My issue is that now I'm approaching the sixth month point of abstinence in the past. This is the time where I start lying and begin to go back to

that awful person. Recently, I've noticed that I've begun to get complacent. I do not want to hurt my wife anymore, and I've been consistent in my Bible study. What is your advice for men who struggle with this and how do I How do I move away from my old life and into my new life with God and my family. God bless all right? Matthew Man, thanks for being so vulnerable, and you're not even anonymous on here, so that takes a lot of courage and I'm encouraged by that. There's

a lot of ways I can answer your question. And I have said before on this podcast that there is a website called Covenant Eyes dot com Covenant Eyes dot com, and that's that's a website that actually since I started mentioning it on the podcast, they reached out to me a few times, and it's a really good organization. Basically, here's the gist, here's the idea you give. You go to their website and you sign up. You get a subscription, right, and you sign up your phone and computer or tablet

or whatever the IP addresses into their system. Then you enter vulnerable people into the system like your wife or your mother in law, or your own mother or your sister, people that can help keep you accountable like that where you would be devastated if they knew that you did something. So you enter those people in there, and then if you ever violate any website and go to some porn website from your IP address, it immediately sends a notification

to whoever your safety people are. Mother in law, mother wife, So I guarantee you it makes you think twice before you type in that porn site. Kids, you're like, I forget about Covenant Eyes. If I type this in here, it's gonna go over to them and that would be devastating. So that is more powerful. That fear would be more powerful than the addiction is the temptation. So I think that's really good. I had learned this from pastor Chad, who's now in Montana hasn't been on the podcast in

a while. I used to be a guest here pretty regular, but he was the first one that told me about it. I'm trying to remember the story that he had set up. I believe. I believe he had it set up on his computer, right, And this was years ago and he was on vacation with his family and they had some house sitters, some teenage boys. One of the teenage boys got on his computer and looked up a porn site. It then shot out that alert to Chad's mother in law,

to Chad's wife and all these people. Well they just happened to all be on vacation together and they're like, uh, Chad, I just got this message from Coven and eyes and it's coming from your computer. And Chad's like, well, obviously it's not me because I don't even have my computer on vacation. So they found out it was this boy. He's a teenage kid back home. So Chad goes back and talks to him and it brought it was. He was able to really stir up a good conversation, but

the kid was terrified. He had no idea that something like this would happen. But okay, that's so, that's that's a short a short fix for this, Matthew. Another thing I would do is just I would I would highly recommend an accountability team around you. And that's your boys. That's not your mother in law and stuff. This is a different group. These are your boys. These are the godly men, hopefully members in the same local, small church

that you go to. And I'm hoping that you go to a church that is small enough that the pastor or pastors or elders they could be referred to, can that there's enough elders to properly shepherd the flock, meaning there's not too many people in the congregation that it gets out of hand and they're out of touch from the amount of elders, the percentage of elders that can keep them accountable. So I hope you go to a church like that, and if you do, then and if

you don't, I'm not shaming you. I'm saying, let's get that ball rolling. Let's get into that church. Let's find you one. If you don't, email me back here and we'll find you one. But if you're not part of a church like that, let's get that ball rolling. That's a big that's a really big step in your walk, in your faith walk. And then once you are, or if you are, now, let's get your brothers in that church and just say, hey, guys, I struggle with a

poor an addiction. And most likely there's going to be one or two others that you speak to. They go, I've either been there or I'm currently dealing with it. And then the other guys are probably right there with you. So you say, here's the deal, guys. These are times. There are times when I fall into temptation. And those are times like when my wife is on a business trip and she's gone, or the kids are at camp

and I'm buying myself. Maybe I'm gone in a hotel room and I'm buy myself and I'm bored, and I have that temptation to pull up a website. So guys, let's keep in touch, let's keep each other accountable. And I'm gonna say, hey, guys, heading out on Saturday. I'm heading out on this trip and I'm gonna be in a hotel room and be by myself. And it's one of those times in the past when I would go to some websites that I shouldn't and they're gonna be like, cool,

I'm on it, brother, I'm keeping you accountable. I'm gonna call you on Saturday. I'm gonna check in with you. I'm gonna call you Saturday night. I'm gonna check in with you, and I'm gonna make sure and we're gonna be honest with each other. And then you do the same for them if they have the same kind of deal. That is huge. Accountability is huge for humans. We need that, we need that pressure, We need that we need knowing

that man, Mark's gonna call me. I know Mark's gonna call me about nine o'clock, and I gotta be I gotta be straight with him. I'm not Mark can't call me at nine o'clock and I cannot lie to him, so I'm staying off of it. Plus, if I do go on it, Kevin and I is gonna shoot a message to my wife. So there's that. I think there's a there's a lot of ways to tackle this beast, and it really depends on how bad you hate the sin. It goes back to a couple of questions ago. It

is a It is a huge, brother, Matthew. It is huge that you have this hatred for your sin and you're willing to email me and be vulnerable. That is that, brother. That is amazing, And I'm so encouraged by you, and I just want to I want to tell you to keep going because this this thing that you're feeling right here, this repentance that you're feeling, that you want to turn away and turn back to God and stop all this stuff, that's a great sign, this blessed assurance. Like I said

earlier in the podcast, So I appreciate you. The problem would be is if you're like, you know what, I don't really see a problem with it. I don't really think it's that bad. It's not really, it's not that often. It's only every once in a while if you said stuff like that, that's when it gets dangerous. I appreciate all y'all. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next week, hopefully with questions about like a River Love. Y'all, thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate

all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yi