#195 My Mom Hates Me...

being here and listening. This is good for me because I actually, although I put these out every single Monday morning, I haven't actually recorded one in two or three at least two or three weeks, because I spent some time in Pakistan and Dubai recently, and so because of that, I front loaded the podcast and recorded a bunch of them in a row over the course of one week, like three weeks ago. So needless to say, I've kind of missed recording them. So I'm back on schedule now

with you guys. I enjoy doing this. I enjoy kind of in the hectic moments of my life. I enjoy slowing down and reading your questions, which is what we do here.

The question reads, Hey, Grangeer, my name is Maddie. My question is how do you learn how to let go of things? How do I let go of someone that I know I need to let go of, but I just keep wanting and wanting to go back to be with them, but I know I shouldn't. It's so hard to let go when you just want to go back with that same person, but everything is telling you to move on and you know that you should. It's just hurst to see things and people change, and it's so

hard to let go. I hope you understand what I'm saying, and thank you for taking the time to read this, Maddie, Maddie, okay, diving in the first. First observation from your email is that you started out by saying, how do you learn to let go of things?

do it? So practically speaking, just practically, let's say because because your heart is involved and you're connected with this person intimately, and you know you shouldn't be so because that's kind of clouding your vision. Understandably it would mine it does anybody else, because that's clouding you. Let's not use the scenario of a person. Let's use the scenario of an actual thing or addiction or habit or something like that. So let's say this. Let's say you were

trying to quit or let go of eating Oreo cookies. Right, It's not that far fetched of an idea. I think we've all gone through times in our life when we're like, man, I need to quit snacking on sweets so much. So

I'll lay at the scenario for you. You want to let go of eating Oreo cookies, and yet you keep them in the pantry, or you keep them on the cabinet right there on the on the counter, or you have somebody living with you in your same house that continues to buy them in the grocery store and puts them in the cupboard. Right that, that's one scenario. So you wake up every day and you're walking through life and you're going, man, I need to let go of Oreo cookies.

But here they are on the counter or the pantry, and it's there's your keys to your car, and you're going to work, and right by your keys is this cookie jar and there's Oreo cookies in there. That's very difficult to let go of. It's right there. All you have to do is grab it. And you might say, oh, so that's a matter of self discipline or willpower, agreed, But you have to set yourself up for success, and that's not doing it that way. Here's the other scenario.

I need to let go of Oreo cookies. So I'm gonna eradicate my house. Any cookies that are left in the house, I'm throwing them in the trash and they're going out to the street. Okay, I will not buy any at a grocery store or at a gas station or convenience store or anywhere else. I'm not gonna buy Oreo cookies. I'm gonna tell the people I'm living with, mom, dad, friends, sibling, spouse, whatever, kids. I'm gonna tell them. Please, can you do me a solid here? I need just to let go of Oreo cookies.

It's bobbing me that I keep snacking on them. It's become a habit and I want to let go of it. Can you please, out of your love for me, can you can you help me with something? Can you not buy Oreo cookies and bring them home to this house? Because it's affecting me. It's makes it more difficult to let it go. Okay, that's simple. That's simple, and that is a way to set yourself up for success. Out

of sight, out of mind. You go to grab your keys and guess what, There's apples in the cookie jar instead of oreos, So you gotta if you're kind of hungry, you're gonna snack.

of scenario. There's still oreos in the cookie jar around you, and if you want to let it go, if you want to set yourself up for success, you need to get this out of your eyesight. Okay, get it out of sight, out of mind. Can you do it? Can you quit oreos with them still in the house?

subdecline says Prophecy and eschatology or the Gospel. Hey Granger, my name is Cody. I'm twenty seven years old from southern Illinois. So I had a dream the other night that I was standing in a desert and a little ways ahead of me was Jesus and surrounding him was Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I don't know how I knew it was them, but for some reason I just knew who they were. Jesus never spoke to me, but Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were telling me I need to go preach the Gospel.

How do I know if this was a dream from Jesus or if it was just a random dream. Either way, I feel like I need to do what they were telling me to do. After all, that's what Jesus wants us all to do. I talked to my pastor about it, and he thinks it's truly from Jesus. As I said, I'm feeling called to do this, but I still have a ton to learn. I listen to the Bible on audiobook every day while I'm at work. I work at my local community college as a landscape maintenance man second shift,

so I'm the only person on the entire campus. But I'm still in the Old Testament right now. However, I'm getting close to the New Testament. I'm currently in Execuel, but I'm having a hard time understanding and comprehending the Bible. My pastor said he would help me comprehend it better. I do have this podcast I listen to that gives you a thirty minute synopsis of each book to help you better understand the Bible. I also have a book

called the Ultimate Bible Guide that explains each book better. However, I also feel very compelled to get a degree in Biblical study as well as Bible prophecy and eschatology. I listen to podcasts such as Prophecy Prose and Encounter Underground, as well as read books by Jeff Kinley and Alan Diddio. I guess what I'm asking is, do you think I should try to pursue the prophecy and eschatology degrees or

just stick to the gospel. My wife thinks her and I should learn as much as we can first through our Bible study together as well as at church, before I start pursuing those things. But she is very supportive. But I feel as though the rapture will be here sooner than we think, and I don't want to see a bunch of people get left behind. Thank you for your time. Make God bless you and your families you enter into mindustry. Also, I look forward to seeing you

and Marian on July twenty seventh. Sorry for such a long email, Have a great day and God speed. Okay, thank you, Cody. Sorry from our raspy voice here as I'm reading your email, thank you for your careful thoughts and ideas, and I'm going to walk it through you. I'm going to walk through this and I'm gonna give you. I'm gonna give you brotherly advice. I'm gonna give you advice as though me and you are friends, because I

feel like we are. I want to think of us as friends, Okay, And I'm setting that up because I also want to give some tough love here, and I don't want it to sound like it's harsh or criticizing or bitter in any way. First, I want to say, just overall, just first analysis, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, it would be very odd for those four men to be standing together because they came in different time periods.

They were not all for disciples. Luke and Mark never walked with Jesus at all, so you could understand it's a little odd. Mark would have been a disciple of Peter, and Luke would have been a disciple of Paul. Neither of them walked with Jesus. Interesting if you think of it in terms of your dream had them altogether with Jesus. Listen, not saying that, don't read too deep into that. I'm

just saying that's the first thought. It's interesting. The second thought is you said they're speaking to you Matthew, Mark Luke, and John are telling you you need to go preach the gospel. Right, Well, that is not that's not prophecy. In fact, that's just the Great commission, and the Bible is going to tell us the same exact thing. So in a way, it's good that you're lining up truth that's already in the Bible.

of all nations, right, that's the Great commission. And then digging further into this, so right there, you say, do you think that was just a dream or Okay, digging further into this, you immediately go from that how you're supposed to go and share the Gospel, you go directly into You're still working through the Bible yourself, and you have a lot to learn in fact, you haven't read any of the New Testament yet, I'm assuming, and you're only a little bit way through the Old Testament in Ezekiel.

So the first thought is how are you going to preach or teach or share what you don't fully know yet? So first step is equip yourself, equip yourself, learn, pump the breaks, take your time, be affirmed by people in the faith that have been doing this for a long time. There's no rush, there's no rush out of the door. You don't need to be running off and sharing the gospel that you don't that you haven't even read yet. Okay, So that's friendly advice and just out of love, pump

the breaks. Here there's a lot. There's a lot to learn, a lot to study, a lot to be affirmed in, and a lot to equip from. Then we get to another part of the question, and that is the prophecy eschatology question. Eschatology for people that don't know, is study of end times. So you might have heard me before.

to infiltrate everything. There is no eschatology without gospel. There is no prophecy without gospel. Otherwise it's just straight heresy. The Gospel needs to infiltrate everything you do. You don't choose should I do a little gospel or should I do a little prophecy, because if you don't have gospel, you have nothing but satanic lies. In this other hand, okay, I'm just that's straight up what the truth is. So you don't have to choose. It's all going to go together.

The Gospels always going to be there. It needs to always be there. But if you've heard me on this podcast before speak about eschatology, I am concerned with that word and with becoming obsessed with eschatology. I'm concerned with let me speak clearly, I'm concerned with people worrying about the end times, because we are, in almost every sense of that term, living in the end times now, and we have been since Christ was born and he ushered

in the present age of the Kingdom. The end times officially began when he ascended into heaven right, and so the end times started in the first century, so people have been living in the times for two thousand years. It's very important important to understand that. And you say, well, well, Granger, all the prophecies are coming together, like rumors of wars and pestilence and storms and disease and mark at the beast,

and this is all coming to fruition now. And I say, I'm concerned because that stuff has come to fruition many times in history, first of all. And you could argue me, and you could. You could, you could push against this, and that's okay. This is not a this is not a disagreement. I'm just voicing a concern that I think people get caught up in that stuff. Like you, you're saying you feel as though the rapture is going to be here sooner than we think, and you don't want

to see a bunch of people get left behind. I promise you, brother, I promise you ninety nine point nine nine nine nine ninety nine percent chance you will die on this earth without seeing the quote unquote rapture that you're talking about. So are you going to concern yourself with the point zero zero zero zeros zers zero years

zeros zeros years zero one? Are are you going to concern yourself with infiltrating the Gospel in you and carrying out the great commission sharing the good News with the world,

because that's what you're commanded to do right now. And people, what I'm concerned about is people start worrying about the zero zero zero years z is a zero one percent and they get caught up in looking for signs and trying to use Revelation as a roadmap, the Book of Revelation as a roadmap to look, look when the Antichrist is coming and he's going to be here for three and a half years here and then and then he's

going to reveal himself. And like, you start reading that as a roadmap and you start getting off track, you start forgetting the whole purpose of the Gospel. So let's not do that. You could great, you want to study that ten years from now, after you've equipped yourself and you've completely armed yourself with the gospel, and you're very well read, and you're good at proselytizing and evangelizing, and you fill the Holy Spirit, and you want to study a little bit more about eschatology.

Christ is present with us. Now stop looking for him coming later, and start realizing that he's here now.

or there's nothing they need. You can get me to give you a customized video message. And I've been doing this for a long time. Cameo is very efficient and it's just a good organization, a good company that I've worked with since probably two thousand and eighteen ish. It's just part of my daily routine is I check and see if I have any Cameo request. I pull up the app and then it says, Hey, Granger, it's my son's birthday, Luke, he's turning eleven. Can you wish him

a happy birthday? These are some things that he likes, and these are the songs that he likes from you. And I see it right there on my screen, and so then I say, what's up, Luke, it's Granger. I heard from your mom. I heard you're turning eleven. Happy birthday, buddy. Thank you for being a fan of the song d Sol and I hear that you like four wheelers and you like hunting Dove or whatever it might be. Anyway,

that's just a scenario that I love to do. Cameo dot com slash Granger Smith or download the cameo app search for me Granger Smith. My book Like a River is coming out August the first, twenty and twenty three, so getting so close from the time I'm recording this, I'm one month away from that release, so just so exciting to finally get my full story out there into the public. So you could either read the book, you could listen to the audio book. You can get it

on Kindle wherever you love to find books. You could pre order that right now grangersmith dot Com I'm using as kind of the hub that will kick you out to all the different sites like Barnes and Noble and Amazon, Walmart dot com, all that kind of stuff. You can go to grangersmith dot com as the hub to all that.

But I'm excited because this is a book about my journey and my story since we lost my son River in twenty nineteen, and then moving forward to how we walked through that journey, how we got to where we are now, and I think a lot of y'all will be surprised because it's there are some things in this book I've never talked about in public in any other forum. So when the book comes out, we'll be able to discuss further. But meanwhile, be looking for like a river

wherever you love to find books. You could pre order it now, which helps me to get it, kind of kick up the algorithm, and then it'll be on the shelves August. First, thank you all for listening. Back to the podcast. All right, back to the questions. If you have one for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. I'm gonna jump into this one subject line. How do I know she's the one? Hey Granger, My name is Ty. Basically, I'm homeschooled and I met a girl at homeschool conference

that and she just felt different. We didn't talk besides in a group for a little bit. She felt different than any crushes I've ever had before because she was someone important. So I went home and prayed about it,

asked for a sign. And it had also been my birth birthday recently, and my grandmother always gave us a prophetic word and our birthday cards, and I had forgotten about the card, and the next day, after I prayed, I remembered I was supposed to open that card, and in it she talked about me throwing out She had seen me throwing out my rope to catch a bunch of roses, and how she thought it meant I was ready for a girlfriend. I always feel like I'm not

good enough for her. Though I'm seventeen, she's fifteen. I don't have any way of contacting her, and I feel like the age gap is an issue for.

and that's okay. Maybe it started at twelve, maybe it starts at twenty five. Either way, no one has to tell you when it's time to like a girl. Not a birthday card from grandma, and not Granger Smith on the podcast You know it with everything inside you. You lay your head down in your pillow at night, and you go, I can't stop thinking about that girl. She's special, she talks different, she gets me, I get her. Our conversations are great. I really like this girl. Regardless of

what a birthday card says, right or some prophecy. That's weird. That's weird, all respect to Grandma.

your words, Ty, I really like you. And we've talked for a little bit.

qualities that I like in a girl. And if you're not that girl for me, then at least I know a little bit more about the girl of my dreams. I just wanted to tell you that, and she's either going to go, oh, that's so sweet. I don't see ourselves like that, we're just friends. Or she's going to go, I've been thinking about you too over this last year, and I was hoping you'd say something like that. By then she's sixteen or eighteen. You take it slow, continue

that path. But that's it. There's no like crazy, weird, mumbo jumbo type, you know, secret sauce. It's just being honest, being vulnerable.

was I hate you. You are such a C word and a B word. You were the biggest regret of my life. This was the day I got confirmed at church too, So a day that I was supposed to be really that was supposed to be really special, turned into one of the worst days of my life. So my question to you is this, how could I move past this that has been on my mind for the last four years. Deep down, I want to forgive her and move on, but it's not necessarily the easiest thing

to do. Any advice would be great. Thanks for all you do, Anonymous. Anonymous, thank you for being vulnerable and opening up in this way. And I want to say, first of all, before anything, I just want to say, I'm so sorry.

And you're underplaying that this is really hard. I have not been in your situation, so I cannot imagine, and I would imagine, if anything, that you're underplaying just how difficult this is. Okay, So all that being said, you forgiving your mother doesn't have anything to do with her accepting that forgiveness or changing or being someone different at all. You forgiving your mother is a release from you. It's

a letting go of holding on to a grudge. So by you letting that grudge go, you're opening up your clenched fist to her, and you're saying, I am no longer holding a grudge against you. I'm no longer thinking of you as the perfect parent, because no one is perfect. And I am hereby letting go of anything that I might have been holding against you, because.

what his reason is. I only have to prove that that kind of scenario is possible. And you could use any example.

What if I told you that I was taking my child to the dentist and I was doing that because I love my child, not because I'm evil. I love my child and I know that the end result of this momentary pain and momentary fear equals straight teeth in the future, which will result in a huge benefit for my child. Because I love my child, That's why.

This is for you. You can call her up, you can write her an email or a text, send her a letter, whatever it might be, and just say Mom, I love you because you're my mother and you carried me for nine months inside your body. Now, I know we've had our disagreements, and that's saying it lightly, right, but I just want to let you know, regardless of what has happened, I love you and I forgive you. And what you're saying is I hereby release any kind of regret or anger or remorse or grudge that I

hold against you. Here's the kicker, Anonymous, here's the kicker. You don't have to believe that, because a big part of you is going to go, No, I don't forgive, I don't release my grudge. I'm still angry. How dare a human being treat their their own flesh and blood child like my mother did to me. A part of you is going to say that, and I can't make that part of you stop. But the rational part, the front part of your brain, is going to say this and write this and type this and text this.

I'm not gonna hold this anymore. I'm not I'm not perfect myself. I've messed up many times. I am not someone that needs that, that thinks I'm on a higher standard than anyone. Right, this is you and me talk, it's all of us. So I'm gonna release that. I'm gonna go, you know what, I'm gonna hold I'm not holding onto this anymore. I forgive you, Mom. Now she's gonna go. She could respond and go, I don't care what you do, I don't care what you say. You

are a B word, you are a C word. And you go, well, that's not surprising that you would react like that. But it's not something you did that earned forgiveness, right, It's something I did with my own personal grace to you, Mom, because you're my mother, that I'm releasing you from my own grace. I'm saying, I forgive you. What's crazy is how this relates to the Gospel of g and Us

and that's another story. Let's continue another question here. This next one says, Hey Granger, I'm twenty one years old. I'm a guy who would like to stay anonymous, but I still need some advice on how to handle a situation with one of my friends. I met her at college last fall and we've become good friends. But recently my feelings toward her have changed and I have a big crush on her. She's a Christian, which is the

biggest box for me. I know we can't really date because she's going on to stint with Crewe in Slovakia for a year, and other reasons to where we wouldn't work long term. And if only if I've only got to date, If I'm only going to date to Mary, then we shouldn't date to guard each other's hearts. I'm not sure if I should talk to her about this, just try ignore my feelings for now, or what I should do from here?

honest with you. It sounds like she's got a lot going on, sounds like she's very self less, she's a Christian, she's going to Slovakia for a year. That she sounds pretty cool. You don't find them like that too often. So I don't think there's anything wrong, Anonymous. I don't think there's anything wrong with you having coffee with her and saying this the very beginning. These are the kind of stories you hear often that people end up getting married. Right,

It's like, this is how it starts. I think you'd be honest, and you say exactly what you told me over coffee before she leaves to Slovakia. You say, can I tell you something? I I don't know how to say this in a way without me feeling embarrassed, but I need to say it because.

in Slovakia? Could I be someone that you know Once a week or so you hit me up on an email and you tell me how things are going, and i'd tell you how things are going over here. Then maybe I could be someone that helps encourage you. Maybe you're gonna be lonely in Slovakia. And I could be there to just kind of give you a little pick me up. If not, I just wanted to tell you

because I needed to get it off my heart. And if you are that's someone, then I'm excited for you to come back and see where the next coffee date is going to be. Listen, dude, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I don't think. I don't think that's moving at a pace it's too fast, or that's unguarding your heart, that's opening up the security gates of your heart.