So what I'm gonna say that I don't want to come across wrong is I don't think you are saved. I don't think you're a Christian. Hey, welcome back to the podcast, y'all, second week in a row, our friend, the best guest ever besides Chad and Parker and Bernie Calcot, Welcome back to the show. We answer your questions on this show. If you have a question, Grangersmith podcast at
gmail dot com, and we answer it. And Bernie's on here because he's really great at empathizing and thinking and giving me a solid answer for things in my life. So we're gonna we're gonna do our best. Like we're sitting in the cap of a truck answering questions about your life.
Not always right most of the time, honest, And we're prepping for a live recording.
So what do y'all think about that doing this live, live podcast taping where you asked the questions in real time. We're on a stage somewhere. Maybe we travel to a few different cities and we answer your questions there. What would y'all think about that? Would you show up? And what city should we go to?
And would you be as honest in person as you are, because there's some very honest, vulnerable questions that come through.
Yeah anonymously, Yeah, anonymously.
So would you be willing to do it?
It would be awesome interesting.
How would you respond if you asked a question and Granger just looked at you as like, dumper, what are you doing?
Let's move on, don't drink, quit it, stop it, okay?
First question here?
The subject line says goals, and it says, hey, Granger, thanks for all you do. I am single and content, but obviously would like to find a relationship. I'm wondering as a single person if I find the right person.
Should that be treated as a goal as in something you passively work towards daily, as in like a checklist, like talk to a girl, talk to at least three girls, ask for their number, actively spend time on dating site, research qualities that will help me be attractive, etc. Or is this just desperate in relation to leaning on God's timing and waiting for the right person to show up in my life without seeking them out at all? Thanks David twenty or excuse me thirty one Arkansas PS.
Got a ticket to your Tulsa show?
Hot ticket Why are you grinning so much as.
You read that question? Because I feel you.
I feel like you're looking at me while I'm reading. Oh, and David is just I'm grinned because David is just so honest and he's so sincere, and Dave wants to David wants a girl.
I think it's fair everything he's asking.
Yeah, he is fair.
He wants a girl, and he's sincere about that, and he's willing to say, Unlike a lot of people, he's willing to say, what's it gonna take?
Yeah, I think I'm going to take it that David is type a kind of like me. So I need I need a list, I need a plan, I need like a we need to be actively doing this. I think my brain tends to maybe work the same way. So I I think it's fair. I mean, I'm gonna wait to hear what you say the advice to him.
Okay, sure, I at least David, I feel you, buddy. All right, so Bernie, you could follow up. I'll just kind of shoot from the hip here. You let me let me ask. Let me look at two things.
That you ask.
Basically, you asked, should I treat finding a person as a goal that I work on daily like a checklist. And then the second question you asked is or should I just wait, lean on God's timing and wait for the right person to show up without seeking them out. Those are two opposite endes of the spectrum here, and so I want to kind of point out first of all, that you're not really thinking about middle ground here.
You're asking two opposite questions, and I.
Think the answer in life always is in the middle for everything, and you are you're kind of looking at extremes and let me look at the God thing real quick. Leaning on God's timing and waiting for the right person to show up without seeking them is not biblical in the sense that the Bible is always going to give
us humans a responsibility of something to do. So there's always through every command that through through all of God's sovereignty meaning his total control, his providence meaning his understanding of the future, and in our lives and everything and every hair on our head and every day that we have left on our life, there's also a sense of responsibility that we we have on top of that providence to respond, to act, to follow, to stand up, to take up your mat and and follow So, so we
know for a fact that sitting waiting on God and not doing anything is wrong.
The opposite is wrong.
Too, saying God, I'm gonna take this into my own hands and handle all of this. Okay, So where's the middle? Where's the middle? How How do we as a mature Christian responsibly handle the middle ground? Where we trust, we believe, and we also act as a response to our belief. We act with our responsibility as a response of the grace. Okay, that could be applied to everything in your life, including finding a girl.
So you believe that you.
Believe, not that there's a girl, or not that you will be married or you will have but you believe that God has a purpose for your life. And there's a there's a good chance that that purpose is is going to include a girl. But not it's not, it's not exactly true. You just know that He has a purpose for you in some way. So you trust that first, and you go, God, I'm gonna lean on you, I'm gonna trust you. I'm gonna read your word, I'm gonna study,
I'm gonna surround myself with wi It's counsel. I'm gonna implant myself in a church. I'm gonna become a member. I'm gonna become actively involved in the church. I'm gonna I'm gonna be in a small group. I'm gonna be with other men. I'm gonna be learning and soaking in as they teach me, as I dive into your word. And then and then I'm gonna when I'm doing that, I'm gonna also be cognizant of my desires around me.
Like do I see a girl throwing this out? I see a girl at the grocery store, and I see her there every Monday, and I'm really attracted to her, and I'm also really into God's world right now, then I would pay attention that God puts desires in her heart like that gives us the desires of her heart, as in gives us new wants and desires. And so we paid and then we act on that. We act on the girl in the grocery store, and we say, hey, I see you here every Monday in the vegetable aisle.
I like cantalope too. I thought that was funny. I'm sorry, I'm a little awkward, but I live down the street. I noticed you walk here. Maybe one day, we can grab coffee or something.
I mean, that's acting on.
God's providence because of your trust.
And I'm gonna stop and let Bernie go.
No, I think everything you're saying is right on. I'm gonna I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I have this analogy or metaphor whatever you want to say, but it may be absolutely terrible, but I'm gonna throw it out there anyway. So but I know there's people listening, like to fish, right, So let's say we go out to fish, and we decide to put some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on our hook. We put it out there. Okay, we're gonna catch maybe some seaweed, not much, right, but
then we have some live bait. Put that on there.
Okay.
I think what Granger's saying is, if you the dating apps and things that you can take into your your own control to try to force, this is gonna be the peanut butter and jelly sandwich you're putting on your hook. You're not gonna catch anything, and if you do catch anything, it's not gonna be what you want. But if you are just trying your best to be obedient, stay in God's word and walk in the path each day he has for you. He's gonnaly never say hey, put this
on your hook. Put it out there, and what you catch is gonna be what you want.
So yeah, I love David.
I love your type a personality, and you're gonna have to put some live bait on that hook man, because you were. I bet your peanut butter sandwich that you're casting also has the crust cut off of it, like perfectly in the squares.
Man, And I appreciate the effort.
That looks cool if it's a brand new hook you got at bass pro shops and you hooked it right through the middle of that peanut butter in jail, and it's probably like crunchy peanut butter, like perfectly measured out and everything. The effort is amazing. It's really admirable, but it ain't.
Gonna catch anything.
Yeah. I think one thing you said just about aiming for the middle, that's a good word for me, for everybody. We tend to kind of see things polarized, but it's like most of the time we need to kind of think about the middle.
Yeah, So David, maybe aim towards the middle, Buddy, next question, guys, let me just say this. I don't know what's coming at me. We don't have notes in front of us. We don't have like a list of famous quotes from Abraham Lincoln or something that we're gonna throw out. You're gonna hear these questions as I hear them, subject line work life balance.
Hey, Grandeur.
First off, like to say thank you for your example. I have learned a lot from listening to your podcast as well as other forms of media with you and your family. Your podcast has really helped show me the need for me to be daily reading my Bible in order to grow my faith. Through that daily reading, it's helped me grow tremendously. My question is this, it's about work life balance. As a man of faith, I see a need for me to be present in my home to nurture my family. But I know it's awesome my
responsibility to provide for my family. My dad owns his own business and always worked a lot to provide for us, which I don't take for granted because he missed out on a lot while we were growing up. My worry is that if I follow in his footsteps, the same will be true for me. I trust in God's plan and pray for his guidance daily. But I want to seek wise counsel as well. With all the things that you have going on. Would you have some advice to give on this? I look forward to hearing your answer.
For privacy reasons, I prefer to stay us. A great question, anonymous, very very thoughtful question. I appreciate it.
Yeah, yeah, for sure. It sounds like his heart's in the right spot.
You know.
I was at a was at a conference with Mark Dever as he was speaking and people were asking questions and he was answering questions recently, and somebody asked a question. I don't remember what it was about, but Mark's answer was, brother, if you're even asking that question, you're gonna be just fine.
Yeah that's good.
You know that's good. I said that to this guy.
Yeah, brother, if you're even thinking about this, you're gonna be fine. You're gonna nurture your family, you're gonna be a great dad, and you're gonna.
Provide for them. Yeah.
Yeah.
It's the people that don't think through it that get into the problem.
Yeah, there's no right or wrong answer. It's no secret sauce to this.
But yeah, I think practically, do we got time for break?
Sure? Go ahead?
I think practically just I think having some boundaries in place ahead of time. If you're thinking about work life balance, I think it's really good to be present and Grangeery and I have talked about this a lot, just in every moment possible, just being as present and here now as we possibly can. But what that also means is that you have set boundaries in place and provision for your family that when you are at work you can
be completely present and doing the best work possible. There's going to be so much value in that that you're probably going to not have to work, you know, fifty sixty hours a week in order to provide for your family. I think that's something that we our culture as a whole kind of like gets away from. We just think, oh, I guess you got to work a lot, instead of like, well, what if we did really quality, focused work in a shorter amount of time and then we got to go
home and focus completely on our family. Both sides of the coin are going to just gain a lot more value and nurturing and provision from that. So if you can set those boundaries in place now and then when once you start to like kind of bump up against them, have some accountability in somebody that knows like, hey, yeah, this is this is what I put in place for this reason, and maybe that means that I don't make that bonus or I don't get that one projector and
that's okay. Yeah, like we have to we have to like have contentment first and then make your your boundaries around that and then try to stick to them. So just some practical I don't know if it's helpful, man.
Yeah, the struggle what Bernie's saying, and the reason there's no secret sauce to this, and it matters more of your heart position to it. The reason we're saying that is because your idea of providing for your family, or your idea of time home with the family is it's
just not defined. It's just so subjective. For instance, if you have a second grade education and you have two felonies and you've served prison time and you're raising a family post all this, and you get an offer for really good money to go out on an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico for six months, you would not at that point say, eh, I don't know, I kind of like to be around my family. It's like, no, dude, you're in a desperate situation. This is a great opportunity
for you. You need to take this opportunity to get this good money, and you're gonna be gone. That's a sacrifice you have to make in your situation. And the same would be on the opposite, say you're doing really well and you're continuing to work too hard and take too many opportunities and you're not home enough. That would be irresponsible the other way, right, And you could also be irresponsible in a way that you're just home too much and things are not getting paid for. So it's
just very nuanced. It's just not a right or wrong answer. The heart is the most important. You want to be present at work. You want to be president at home. You want to make sure that you're raising a household that understands that Dad has to work, because you don't want to raise a house that thinks Dad's most important priority is to not work and to be with me and catch the football when I need to throw the football. It's bad too, right, Just be careful you're thinking through this.
I love your question.
Yeah, you're going to be all right.
Yeah's hit another long fought battles to subject line and it says I've been married for twelve years. My wife came with two kids from a previous marriage. They are now seventeen and nineteen. We have two younger kids together, three and eight. She has struggled with mental health issues for the past six years. It has caused our kids to check out of their relationship and will certainly cause our younger kids to eventually do the same. Have sought godly counsel lower case G and we are now on
our fourth counselor. The counselors are all professionals. Most importantly, they are there to help here and helped turn around our marriage. She has gone as an individual and then we would get together and tie things back together, so to speak. Unfortunately, she's not made much of any progress. She has ruined all of her relationships with her friends as well. This has been sad for me as a bystander to watch all this occur. It puts me in
a negative vibe in our household. I prayed for her in everything that I can, but at the end of the day, I cannot bridge the gap and make up for what she lacks in our relationship or for our kids.
What are your thoughts? Thanks for reading? Okay, so no.
Real question other than what are your thoughts?
Yeah, just kind of respond to the situation here, married twelve years, two kids from the previous marriage that are in the upper teens, and then younger kids. Two younger kids together. So the problem is looking like with the older kids, it's really the question two older kids have checked out and to two younger kids might do the same. You're doing a lot if you're putting the work in
with these counselor things. You're on the fourth one, and first thing I want to say to you, besides thanks for your vulnerability, is the first thing I want to say is I get it.
These older kids have checked out. I get it.
Mom's got mental health. She remarried and had two more kids. And I say this with the most respect to you. Mom had two replacement kids. You know, Mom replaced us with two kids with the new guy. All respect to you. When I say that, I'm just kind of speaking from a seventeen year old mind what that could look like. Mom's a little crazy, She's in counseling all the time. Listen, this needs to be said too. When you're seventeen and nineteen, you're kind of checked out anyway. Let's not forget that
part of it. You could be a seventeen year old checked out of a great home. So what I think we should ask a question for him?
What do you do? He didn't say that. What do you do?
Yeah?
If you're this guy in this situation, you're the stepdad of two upper teens that have checked out, your wife's having mental problems, You've gone through counselors, you've seen all of her friends disappear, and you got two younger kids, very vulnerable, ages three and eight.
What do you do?
Yeah, So a couple things jump out. First thing is just a ton of like empathy and heartbreak. Man, I hate that you're in this. I hate this for the the mom, I hate it for the kids. Man, this is just part of our broken world and having to, you know, walk through these kind of really difficult, hard situations. And so, man, I think grizz and I both kind of heart breaks for you just having to sit in this and recognize, just as humans in this world, what we all have to endure, how nuanced it can be.
But also you know how similar we are. The second thing that jumped out was these older kids have been through divorce, and being someone that went through divorce, I don't know if we recognize the trauma that that can cause. I don't know how early in childhood that happened, and I mean I guess it's at least eight years ago if they have a three to eight year old, right, so, which is a very you know, formative time for those kids.
Some math, they've been married for twelve the kids are seventeen, nineteen, three and eight, so so yeah, that they got divorced when the kids were five and seven.
Yeah, so I don't just speaking quickly before we you know, get to you like, those those older kids probably need a lot of love and a lot of attention and a lot of grace if they've checked out, like Granger said, yeah, I mean most of them do at that age. But continuing to walk alongside them, especially as a stepdad, and just be like and you know, sit in there in there hurt with them, Like, man, I know that that
must have been hard to have your dad. If you've never done that before, maybe you have, But yeah, like I said, just being somebody that went through that, I think that there is residual effects that they may not even be aware of quite yet. And so if you could just view them with that level of grace and be able to maybe step into that, I think that that would help. Especially if their mom is mentally not well, she's probably not caring for them in that relationship in a way.
Maybe.
So when when did your parents get divorced?
When were you Whenever? I was fourteen, but my dad had left when I was nine, they separated.
So did you have a checkout period in your life for sure? Yeah?
It started at fourteen. Yeah, because my dad. I mean, it's a little bit different. My dad had left and whenever I was nine, and I thought like, okay, this is they're separated whatever. But then he came back and it was kind of like my parents got back together, and I was like there was this hope and then they satis down to games like I'm leaving this time and it's for good, and then it was just like, okay,
well I'm I'm checking out for sure. So yeah, I would say fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, all the way till the Lord you know, got me at twenty one.
So yeah, so the guy, so you anonymous, man, this is not a. This is not a crazy, rare situation. What we're seeing is just the natural result of the fall of a broken marriage. And so let's just throw out a couple of things that he can do. And so I want to you mentioned God a few times, you mentioned prayer a few times. I want to make sure that you're plugged in to a good local church.
I love that you're emailing this podcast and you're seeking, as you said, you know, counsel from us, but I also want to see that not just from a counselor from a like a counseling firm, or like an organization that does counseling, but I want to see that happen within the local church itself, because I believe it or not, that's what they're there for, is to walk with their congregation through life's difficult problems so that they're not alone.
They're not gonna always give you an answer, but they're gonna walk with you and God.
As we know that God.
Walks with us and is with us and is present with us, do you know he uses human agency to act that out many times. So, so when when your congregation or your pastors, or your your your family members or whoever is walking with you. That is a godly thing. And so that's why a local church when they counsel you, unlike some of these counselors from an agency, when your local church is counseling through, they're actually walking. They know where you came from, and they're they're walking with you
after it. So even when you stop the counseling, they're still walking with you, and you see them and you you have coffee with them, and you have you have meals with them, and so you're not alone. Don't be alone in this. Make sure you just keep talking about this. And another thing to throw out is find a common ground with the seventeen and nineteen year old. We said this in the last podcast. Find something you probably won't like it, but find something that they love and dig
into that. If it's NASCAR racing, or if it's video games, or if it's the NFL, or if it's chess, it doesn't matter. Find something they love and then that you're in join them in that, and then start that community with them through that, through that commonality of the video game, through Fortnite or whatever.
Yeah, one thing I'll mention that Granger just said but didn't go into was pray, like, just continue to pray like I have seen in my life. I know Grangeer has seen situations that can look like this. And if you are just diligent in bringing it before God. Diligent not just oh yeah, I'm gonna pray about that letter, No, but like sit in the stillness with God and beg him and plead with him. Petition. I think your heart
gets changed. I think you start to hear the voice of God and how to practically act these things out a little clearer. And I think that you can see His spirit work in these two older kids, in the younger kids, and maybe a change in your wife's mental state. If we just pray to a God that hears us and wants to draw near and show mercy. So just pray. I know it doesn't sound like much, but I do believe it's like one of the most powerful things that we have and that we can do.
So let me take that thought prayer. Okay, we're gonna take a break because we're out of time on the cameras. We're gonna get right back because I want you, I want you to expound and I want to say one more thing involving that I think it's really important to say we'll take a great year affect. Have you ever been stressed out trying to find tickets to a sporting event or a show or a concert of any kind, Well,
me too. I'm right there with you, and I'm even in the concert business, or at least I was for twenty four years, and it's it's still difficult for guys like me because technology is changing and ways to find tickets are always changing. Well, buying tickets to your favorite event shouldn't be that stressful. And this podcast is brought to you by game Time. Game Time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets for all sports, music, comedy,
and theaters near you. With killer deals on last minute tickets and their best price guaranteed, you could stop stressing over the tickets and start getting hyped up for the fun you're about to have. So I'm pulling up the app right now and I just put Austin where I am. I hit Discover and then popular. The first thing that pops up is the earthquakes at Austin FC, So there's soccer, super easy to grab that ticket right there. And then
here's ou at Texas. This is college baseball. I've been sevenfold, so now we're getting into music and Chris Stapleton right under that Steve Miller band. You just boom, you hit right here, and then then you find your ticket or you find your seat that you want to sit in, and then there's the price.
It's just super easy.
I love how this app is completely laid out for guys that don't want to sit here and search like me. So forget planning months in advance. Game Time has deals on tickets right up to the day of the event. You can get exclusive flash deals on tickets for football, baseball, basketball, concerts, comedy theater and more. Game Time guarantee means that you're
always going to get the best price. If you find the tickets in the same section and the same row for less, game Time will credit you one hundred and ten percent of the difference. You can get images of your seat before you buy, so you know exactly what to expect when you arrive. Buy tickets in just a matter of seconds. Two taps in your set.
That's it.
Tickets are sent directly to your phone, so you never have to dig through your email and.
You know, do all that crazy stuff.
Snag the tickets without the stress with game Time. Download the game Time app, create an account and use code word granger for twenty dollars off your first purchase terms apply again. Create an account and redeem code granger for twenty dollars off. Download Game Time Today, Last minute tickets,
lowest price guaranteed. All right, getting back into this podcast and kind of just finishing a thought from the last question, and we were talking about there was this situation where, uh, there's a there's a stepdad and he's got a couple of teenage kids that have checked out, two younger kids together. The wife is she's struggling with mental health issues, and we're talking about plugging into the local church we're talking about.
Bernie was talking about praying and how the power of prayer and so there's one more thing out kind of on an app to this, and that is Bernie's so right. We typically use prayer as like the last thing, like I've done everything I can and I've even prayed, instead of using that as what the Bible would tell us is that is our first.
Thing we do. I've been studying James in the.
Bible, the brother of our Lord, the step brother. By the way, and he was known I read in a commentary he was known as having They called him old camel knees because his knees were so worn and leathery, because he was always on his knees praying. Wow, isn't that crazy?
Like?
Oh, if I could one day be called old camel knees, Like, Oh, Granger, that dude is always.
On his knees.
Man, Like if that if the brother of Jesus was prayed so much that his knees were worn out and leathery, what did he know? If anyone knew anything about prayer on the mortal level, don't you think it would be someone that lived and grew up with that man grew up with Jesus? What does that say for us? Martin Luther, I'm gonna kind of just say this loosely. Martin Luther, the Old Reformer said, quoted loosely something like, I am so busy, it's gonna take me weeks to pray for
all this stuff. So what are we missing with this? Here's my point. When Bernie brings up prayer and I bring up local church, I would like to also combine those two things and not forget that those things also go together, and when you're talking to people and they say how you doing and you say, I'm fine, man, how are you And they're like, man, I'm good, cool, busy, cool, me too, Okay bye.
That is a normal conversation between two dudes.
But what I need you to do, when I want to encourage you to do, is to say, man, be honest with you and struggling. It's been it's been a little bit of a season for us. My wife is she's been struggling, and I could appreciate your prayers if you could pray for me and specifically for our two kids or two step kids have kind of checked out. They're seventeen and nineteen, and I'm worried about them, and I could use your prayers. When I hear that, as a Christian, when I hear that, my heart just kind
of flutters a little bit. It gets it kind of enlarges a little bit because I feel like what I hear is, hey, Granger, we're recruiting you to the army. Would you come with us and fight this battle with us? And I love that kind of language because I'm like, yes, what are the name what are the names of the kids? Give me seventeen nineteen. Sometimes, if I'm thinking about it, I'll pull out my phone, give me their name seventeen nineteen,
and your wife, what's her name. I want to know this stuff because then I want to be able to go and I want in my prayer life because I feel like I'm doing something as a Christian that I'm called to do. Praying for others, praying for the well being of others. It has nothing to do with me. So don't be afraid to tell I'm speaking to all Christians right now. Don't be afraid to tell your brothers and sisters what's.
Going on in your life.
There's a difference between self deprecation and depression and just bringing people down with negativity.
I'm not saying that.
I'm just saying, brother, I appreciate it if you could say a few prayers from my grandpa. He hadn't been doing too good and we're worried about grandma. Okay, Okay, I'll pray for that tonight.
Yeah.
I think the depth of community just grows and grows when you do that, the depth of relationship. When I'm vulnerable enough to say like I did, like maybe earlier, you know, for the podcast like, hey, man, struggling with this, It's like you're inviting that person into a deeper relationship you're sharing with him, like, hey, I trust you. And I would say the majority of the time, the response that you're going to get is let me join you in that. Let me let me join you in that.
There's not going to be any you know, making fun of you or like, oh we get it together.
You don't.
It's not going to be I guarantee you it's not going to be like that. So you're gonna then be able to enjoy just that feeling of community and that feeling of okay perspective, not in this alone and grange your nose. And he is advocating, He is interceding for me. It's not just me. God, God hears us. So yeah, I think you're.
Right on man, dude.
It just opens up And I don't want to go too far on this, because we could talk the whole podcast just about this, but it goes so far because then when I see you next week, I say, how's your wife, how's the kids? Okay, you know, and we're getting updates. And then it also opens my eyes in the community of hey, did you know that that the so and so company is hiring nineteen year olds.
Did you know that?
I just saw it, but I thought about your kids because you mentioned they were kind of checked out, and then I was praying for him. And then the other day it's weird. I saw it we're hiring sign in the window, and I thought about your kids. I thought maybe, and maybe that's the thing, and then it triggers and God works in that way, and then they call and then they get a job, and then that's something they become passionate.
About and it changes everything. Just from you opening up your prayer life.
There's really nothing cooler in this life than feeling like you are kind of caught up in something bigger than yourself. I can't tell you how many times Granger, you know, could probably attest to this. How many times I have been praying for you and God just lays something on me and I'm like, hey, Gris, I don't know what this means, but man, I feel like you know this
is going on, or you tell me something. I was like, oh, man, and you text me back or you call me or we talk and you're like, bro, you have no idea. I was like, I had no idea.
That's true.
That's that's the coolest thing to be a part of. To just feel like, man, there's something bigger working in us that if we're just sensitive to the spirit and advocating intercede for people. Sometimes he just gives us these little you know, you know, easter eggs of like, hey, you need to you need to text Johnny and uh and just ask him specifically about this. And you do that and he calls you immediately, I need to come to your office and you sit and you talk to
him for an hour. That stuff happens. It does happen, and it's something I wish I was a part of more often. But I love being a part of it because, like Granger said, you feel like you're a part of this fight. You're you're you're locked arms with the spirit, and uh, it's just really really cool.
Love it, man, Let's go to the next question here.
Oh buddy, I think I just saw the time some decline says judgment in heaven. Hey, Granger, my name is Tristan. I'm twenty five from Kansas. Love the podcast, Love Your Music. I learn more and more about God and the Bible every day. But I recently had a conversation with a relative about heaven. They claim there is no judgment in heaven, so when a family member or a friend passes away, they won't remember you as there is no positive or negative judgment. I know, once you go to heaven you
are forgiven of your sins. But does that mean people only remember the good things? Do they remember anything at all? Just some thoughts of mine? Thank you well, Tristan. Let's dive into this. Thank you for emailing. I appreciate you, brother, and.
I love that.
Right at the top of this email you say I'm learning more and more about God in the Bible every day.
I love that.
Keep saying that, keep.
Saying that, Yeah, you are going to through this. Through through your learning, you're going to run into a lot of people that say a lot of things, relatives, TikTok whatever, and you're gonna hear a lot of things about God in the Bible. It's very important to not take that as how you learn from a relative, or from social media or from Google. But we learn things from the Bible itself. It's very important to not rely not even
on devotionals. We could use them to supplement, but we don't even rely on anything but the Word of God itself. And then when you're doing that and you're feasting on that, and you're reading that daily, you're going to see things in there that answer questions that you didn't even know that it was right there in front of you. For instance, we can go a couple of different couple of ways with your email. I don't I don't think this is like a theology question. I don't think that's what this
is about. So I'm not going to dive into, you know, the theology of heaven. I'm not. I'll just kind of lightly brush over it. But you'll see things. For instance, like you said, I know, once you go to heaven you are forgiven of your sins. That's not true. You say you know that, but that's not true. Your sins are forgiven when you repent and believe in Jesus on earth. Your sins can be forgiven today, much less when you
get to heaven today. Right now, by the time you die, it's too late, it is too late to make these kind of life changes. Right so, by the time you get to heaven, the only the only people that will be in Heaven are the ones that were forgiven on earth, right does that make sense? But that's just that's very
simple Bible stuff. What's also kind of concerning, And it's not really concerning because I know that you're learning and you're wanting to grow, but but I want to kind of show you here that your questions are these These are like very universal type ideas, like everyone dies. Like what I'm getting from your email is everyone dies, everyone goes to heaven, everyone has no judgment once they're there, positive or negative. And then where do we go? What's where do we go from that?
Yeah? What do we remember?
That's not Bernie help me here? Where do you think I'm trying not to get too deep? Yeah?
Yeah, I think that the does he say his.
Age twenty five?
Okay, so we have a fully formed close to fully formed brain that we're talking to here. I think you're probably getting in some conversations with some people maybe a little bit older, that are throwing a bunch of stuff at you, and you don't really know how to defend your faith and you don't really know what the Bible says. So I think, like Granger said, like always be just studying, just like we are studying and learning, because there's a lot there. I did he have a question at the Bible.
It's it's basically, once you get to heaven, your sins are forgiven, he says, But does that mean you'll only remember the good things or do you remember anything at all?
Yeah, So I think what Granger and I could say here is probably I don't want to say irrelevant. But you have to go and wrestle with this yourself. If you're really gonna know, and you're really gonna learn, and you're really gonna be convicted, I think you need to go take the word, you need to study it. You need to get connected with other believers, other non believers, like be curious to have these conversations and wrestle wrestle
with the question. I think it's great that you're, you know, emailing into the podcast and kind of getting getting some feedback and some understanding. But I don't think that this is a they're wrong, You're right, Here's here's where we need to change the theology.
That's right.
I think it's a lot broader of a question that what best thing we can do is say, go find out for yourself. Dig in and go find out for yourself. Yeah, there's definitely some things here theologically that just are misunderstandings or he's been told other things.
But yeah, I want you to look up something, Tristan, And it's not like you could look it up. And there's one place I want you to read through in context, meaning don't google averse. Please don't do that. Don't ever google a verse and look and see if it applies to your life. Instead, I want you to read in context through the New Testament. Let's say you want to start him in Matthew, start start in Matthew. It's going to start with the genealogy of Christ or John, it's
going to start with creation. And I want you to read through in context. And my question to you is are you going to Heaven? Are you going?
Do you have a ticket?
Basically, that's what I'm asking And that's not for your relative to answer. That's not for for a my podcast to answer, that's not for Google to answer. That's for John or Matthew or Mark or Luke or Romans or anything in the New Testament really to answer. For you, I want you to find that answer.
Are you going?
Challenge you? I challenge you that, Tristan, and I challenge you not to google it. This is why I say Google, I was thinking about this this morning. The problem so many times, especially today, is that it depends on this is what I was thinking. Okay, tell me if I'm wrong. I was thinking about this this morning my workout. It depends on what lens we're looking through. So, say we
have glasses. You could put glasses on, and through that lens you see things, and so so many times what we want to do is we want to take the lens of the world, our lives, our situations, our problems, our community, our culture, and we put that those glasses on, and then we want to read the Bible through our culture, through our own problems, through who we are. We read the Bible and we see the Bible through that lens. But that's not what we're supposed to do. We're supposed
to put on the lens of the Bible. I was thinking about this. The Bible are the lenses you put those glasses on, and so when you see the world, you're seeing it through the lens of the Bible. So then you look at your problems you're suffering, your questions about Heaven and judgment, your questions about sins, your questions about oh what happens after you die. The questions about everything pop culture, but you're always looking at that through the lens of the Bible, not the other way around.
That's good, That's really good.
So be very careful.
That's why I say put the lens of the Bible on, put the glasses of the Bible.
On, and then find out this answer. Are you going to heaven? Yeah?
Take Grainger's challenge and then email us back. Yeah, if you're willing to. I mean, the thing is is like it's not easy, like getting up early and studying and taking this seriously. It is a serious matter, so I think it should be.
But it's not easy.
But I guarantee you if you take the challenge, I would love to hear about your journey through it. Yeah, what you discover about this question, but also just in your own faith journey. But thanks for writing in.
Yes. Great.
Next question says brothers dead in combat. Hey grangeur My brother is a US Air Force para rescue man PJ.
And.
On June ninth, twenty ten, helicopter Pedro sixty six was shot down in Afghanistan on the way to rescue injured soldiers on the battlefield. Two of his teammates died in the crash. Their names were Benjamin White and Mike Flores. He is still active duty and doesn't say much about combat. He assures me everything is fine. A few times I have seen him cry and vent about that day. We my family try to console him with messages about the Lord,
et cetera. We were both raised Catholic, but I do not think that he is a believer on the scale like I am. He would reply with things like why would God let my friends burn to death in a helicopter crash? Is there anything you could offer him to help understand why such events happen? I imagine you feel the same pain as he does with the loss of river. Thank you God, bless And is there not a name? There's not a name? Call this call it, call it anonymous.
How much time we got on this one?
We got about six minutes, seven minutes, which is not enough time for a question like that.
Yeah.
I think at the end he's asking like, do you have anything for him? But I think, really what we need to have is something for this guy. Ye brother is probably not listening. Yeah, I don't know if we have anything for him anyway.
So yeah, yeah, I think that's great. I see that so many times on this podcast. The person emailing might need to hear what we need to say more than the person they're asking about. And if at least it's like the uh the idea on an airplane when you're when the oxygen mask drop, put the mask on yourself first, then your kids. So if because if you pass out, you ain't helping anybody, right, So.
One message to your brother from us is thank you for your service. Like I can't imagine what he's put himself through and just losing his brothers that way in combat, And yeah, thank you for your service.
Man.
Yeah, totally agree what I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say something. I say a lot of things on this podcast, and not always they might not always come across as nice, but I don't I don't need to be nice, and it's like I'm not in the business of being nice. I genuinely love you, man, and I feel your heart
in this email. You took so much time to write about your brother because he's hurting and you're listening to my podcast and you're just taking a shot like maybe there's a chance Grange will read it, and maybe there's a chance my brother can get help. So I love you for that, man, I love your heart. So what I'm gonna say that I don't want to come across wrong is I don't think you are saved. I don't
think you're a Christian. And please don't take that the wrong way, because I only mean it in a way to help spur you and cultivate that ground that you're standing on a little bit.
Because I think that's great and I think like you can definitely, I think you got more to say. But if you stop listening now, which is fine because you heard what Granger said and you're like, ah ah, take that question and go to your brother and you guys, wrestle through that. He says that, I mean, be a Christian?
What do you think?
And you, guys, like, start down that journey together. One. There's going to be a lot of probably healing from trauma in that that you'll get to wrestle through together. But hopefully there is salvation on the other side of it that you feel confident in and you actually know.
So sorry, I just had no Yeah, that's great and because and the part of the reason I get that that feeling is you first of all being a Christian is not how you were raised.
And you said I was raised Catholic. But here's the key.
But I do not think he is a believer on the scale like I am. There is no scale of being a believer. A we are all wretched sinners, rebels, undeserving, saved by grace through faith. That's a Christian, undeserving. God have mercy on me, a sinner. That's what the tax collector said. And he was the one justified, not the Pharisee that said, thank God, I'm not like him, thank God he's not on my scale.
Yeah, I wonder, I wonder what he I'm trying to think of, like any other way that he could have said that and meant that other than what you're saying right now. I don't know how else other than a you know, a scale that Catholicism will you know, kind of lead you towards, which I think you just addressed. I'm just thinking about if we do this live like some of these follow up questions, what is that going to.
Be like people not like me?
Brother, I don't believe you're a Christian, and I don't believe you're on any scale, and I don't believe you're going to heaven.
And I would wrestle with that.
And I say that in a way that I hope challenges you to go to the Word and go to the cross, go to the foot of the cross, and see your suffering savior on that cross, nailed to cross, with blood coming down in a way that he was so deformed he was unrecognizable as a human. And when you look at why he did that, because me and you, and Bernie and your brother here rebelled against him, and
all of humanity rebelled against Christ. And the only way to reconcile us to him was to go to the cross and sacrifice as the spotless lamb, the once and for all final sacrifice for us to trade so that he could pay, so that in full he could pay the price of our wretchedness. And when you see that for what it is, and when you see that the wrath of God, the wrath of God that is upon me and you, was satisfied through the Cross, through that sacrifice.
And when that wrath was satisfied, those that look upon it and believe and turn away from their lives and trust in it.
Are saved.
And I believe through your email that the wrath of God is still upon you. As I say, seek him, go to him, take on his mercy, see him on the cross as that suffering savior. And when that happens and you believe and you're saved, things will change also for your brother, because when he sees that happen to you, he will see things in a different light. He will see death in a different way. Put the oxygen mask on you first, and then your brother.
That's what we got.
Love you guys, Amen, See you next time.
See y.
Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you.
Guys.
You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Granger Smith Podcast a Gmail dot com.
Ye ki
H