#178 It's time to part ways.

to Grainger Smith podcast at gmail dot com. Any subject will do. We see him all over the place about life, love, relationships, god, work, career, dreams, really could be about anything, songwriting, guitar playing, it doesn't matter. We'll put it into the cue. My only thing is don't say don't ask the same question twice in two different emails, and don't make it too long because it makes it hard to read for the podcast itself. But

I love doing this. I don't have any notes in front of me, any you know, famous quotes or anything to quip back to you. I'm just gonna speak what's on my heart as if we're just riding in the truck together. And the first question here subject line says writer's block, it says. I've been following you and your family's YouTube channels for a bit now, and I feel like you have a lot of irons in the fire.

I've been a caregiver three years now for my husband who is suffering with dementia, and I feel like my creative life has come to a screeching halt. Do you ever experience writers or creative creators block for whatever reason? Do you ever experience writers or creator's block for whatever reason? And what do you do to overcome it? Susan Uma, Arizona man. First of all, Susan, thanks for emailing you. Remember that movie three ten to Yuma. Loved that movie

so much. There's an old prison from the West that's in Yuma, and I've always wanted to visit it. It's so far down south that usually if I'm going west, Yuma is below me and I don't make it that far south south. And so of all the towns in the US that I've been to, which is thousands of towns we've traveled to, I've never been to Yuma, Arizona, and I've always wanted to just because of the old West connection there. So shout out to a really cool town.

And thank you for sharing something so vulnerable on a podcast like this where you could just be completely exposed something that's something that's weighing on your mind here. And God bless you for being the caregiver for your husband suffering with dementia. We stand with you, We hear you. That's not easy to do, and so my hat's off

to you. Now. Your question is how, so how do you get past writer's block when you are in a situation where all of your energy and mental strength that is being poured into one situation and as you say, you feel like your creative life has come to a screeching halt. Understandable. I have felt that many times in my life. You are not alone in thinking that or feeling that. So let's dive into a few things that maybe I've tried over the years. And one thing right

off the top of my head is taking walks. Man, I have to take walks. And you're right, as you said at the beginning of your email, I have a lot of irons in the fire, and I go a lot of different directions. I have to really time block and make sure that, okay, between this hour and this hour, I'm doing this, and then at this hour, I'm doing the podcast, and then I'm moving on to after Midnight,

and then I'm doing promos for after Midnight. Then I'm shooting the Smiths, and then I have another promo video to shoot for a truck video. And then I have to work on the set list, and then I have to work on you have to talk to about stage production. Then I have to do my studying, which is takes hours and hours and hours. Then I have to worry about songwriting or then I have to get this post ready for social media. I also have to be a dad and a father, and there's there's a lot of stuff,

a lot of irons in the fire. I have to take walks. I have to shut down and take everything out of my ears and off my plate and get out and just walk. And I like to do this for like a mile minimum. I like to go out and I use my watch to time myself. I'll get out there and walk for a mile with just the birds singing and cars passing by occasionally that that seems to be a good way to clear some stuff out. And then I get back and I'm usually refreshed that way.

I have I have a limit, and I typically will push that limit. If for doing two hours of deep work, I'll dive in. In about two hours, I'm just crushed, Like my brain just feels numb. It feels like I've been working out that muscle like it like I'm working out in a gym and I'm just over exercising the brain mine does that, it just starts to turn to mush. So if I get it to the two hour mark, which I hate to do a lot of times, I get there, I got to pull back and go get

a walk. That doesn't always help right right right off the bat, Susan, There's another thing to be said for writer's block, that sometimes it's just gonna happen and you got to let it go. For six months a year I've been in I've been in a writer's block for fifteen months before, sixteen months before. Absolutely I cannot remember the last song I wrote before my song Forever Forward for the Moonrise soundtrack, but it was about fourteen months

before I wrote a song. And when I say that, sometimes time will go by and I will try, but nothing really good is coming. It's not a lack of trying, but so one way to look at this, Susan is it's okay if you have writer's block for whatever kind of thing you're writing. I'm writing a book right now, and the book that i'm I'm pretty much finished. But I've noticed that that part of my brain to write the book is very similar to writing a song. It's

the same part of the brain. It utilizes a different creative tool, but it's the same part of brain that you have to access through writer's block. And you're gonna have to realize, Susan, this sometimes you just can't access it. Sometimes it's the door you just can't get in. Sleep has a lot to do with it. We got to bring that up. Sleep. You know, I usually get about

six and a half hours every night consistently. I wake up at my alarm goes off at five point fifteen, and I'll hit snooze once and I usually get out of bed at five twenty five. A lot of times I think that's not enough. I need to get up earlier because there's too much stuff going on in the day to accomplish. And this is seven days a week. I don't have. I don't have like a day where I just I get to sleep longer. There's not that there's not that day. Ever, there's three sixty five for me.

So if I don't get seven, though, that's kind of the key for me, seven hours. If I don't get seven, I'm hurting. And so if I'm preparing maybe maybe I'm writing a sermon. I'm preparing a sermon, which I just got finished delivering a sermon this past Sunday at the San Antonio Rodeo. So I delivered that sermon, and I find myself in writer's block, just like the book, just like songwriting, and I could trace it back a lot of times too, just the sleep I got the night before.

And if I get my seven hours, which is what my body loves. If I get my seven hours, then riding the sermon all of a sudden is easier that next day. So let's kind of recap here, take a walk, realize that sometimes you can't get through that door. And number three, sometimes you just didn't get enough sleep. You could retry the next day. I hope that helps. That's like the light brush of what writer's blot could be. And we could talk more about that. If you want

to discuss it more, we can go deeper. All our next question subject line says pending divorce. Hey grangeur try to make this quick. Here. My name is Brian. Oh, excuse me, pronounced Bren. Good. My name is Bren. I'm twenty eight years old. I've been married for two almost three years. My wife and I have been together for a total of five We have two beautiful children and what I thought was a strong family. I've been a stay at home dad for the last year and a half.

Last December, she told me one day out of the blue that she was filing for divorce and I had two weeks to get out. I was absolutely devastated, but I understood because for the past five years I did nothing but treat her terribly. I lied to her constantly, stole money I saw, stole money that I saw laying around, racked up some credit cards, decided to emotionally cheat on her by texting and sexting women probably twelve times. Truth is, I love my wife with everything in me, and I'm

so ashamed of this me that I have become. Recently, I've rededicated my life to Christ. But she still says, I'm not interested in you and I'll never take you back. She says. The most recent thing she told me is that if I could hold a job for a year and be an adult, she would consider starting over with with me. How can I save my marriage, how can I show her that I am a new man of Christ? And most importantly, how can I survive a year apart

from my family and kids. I'm hurting right now. Side note, you have high five me at your concert in Huntington, West Virginia. It was one of the most awesome moments. Thanks, brother. I hope to hear from you soon. Bren Cooper, Bren, thanks for the email. Brother, Thanks for opening up something that's heavy, heavy on your heart, and I feel for you. Man. I'm going to recap in my head because I read these for the very first time, as you guys hear them.

So you're twenty eight. You've been twenty eight years old, been married for two almost three years, we'll call it three three years. You've been together with your wife for five you have two beautiful children. And then we're talking about last December, she files for divorce. You say, out of the blue, but we come to find out it wasn't really out of the blue because you had a feeling. You also found out you had two weeks to get

out when she filed. So this is all happening quickly, even though you probably knew you were playing with fire, and it's not a huge surprise. You're not surprised at all because of your actions. What has happened. You don't expect to get out of jail free card here. You know that, I know that everybody listening knows that you don't get off free here, Brot. You don't get a lot of times. Second chances are hard to come by.

It's George Strait song, by the way. So you're asking this interesting two sentences here that stuck out to me that you put back to back. You said, here, here's the first sentence, she told me that if I can hold a job for a year and be an adult, she would consider starting over with me. The next sentence directly after that, says, how can I save my marriage? I'm not a counselor. I'm not a therapist. I'm not a psychologist, I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm not a sociologist.

I'm just a normal dude, bran. But when you put those sentences back to back, it's like it's like saying the dog is the dog is sick. You take the dog to the vet right and you, and the vet says the dog is sick. You gotta change the dog food. And then you ask me, Bran, Hey Granger, how do I save my dog? I go, the vet just told you to change the dog food. Your wife just told you give her a year, basically, hold a job for over a year and be an adult, and she will

consider starting over with you. So the first thing I would say into saving your marriage, the first step, is that that's what she needs you to do. You say, here, I hope you know I'm not dogging on you. I would not answer this question if I didn't love you, Brin, if I didn't feel for you, if I didn't see you in this hurting position, I would just skip over

the email. I would delete it. But I'm doing this because I love you, man, and I know you're a fan, and I appreciate you listening, and I want to give you the hard truth. If I give you anything less than hard truth, anything less than tough, love is not love. It's just me pacifying you, right, It's just me trying to be cool and hope that you like me. I'm not concerned whether you like me or not. Brand I

just want to tell you the truth. Here. Look what you said, the truth everything, It's all revealed in your language. In your email, you said, I've been a stay at home dad for the last year and a half. Come on, man, what you've been a stay at home dad for the last year and a half. That's the language you're gonna use. And then she comes back and says, look, dude, I'll consider coming back if you could hold a job for a year. That tells me that the truth is you

can't hold down a job. You're being a child. You're twenty eight years old, but you're acting like a child. You call it stay at home dad. She says, you're a bum. Dude, you can't hold a job. That's what your wife said. I'm not saying she's perfect. I'm sure she's made mistakes too, but looking at the situation from the outside, you say I've been a stay at home dad for the last year and a half and my wife leaving me, she says, you're a bum. Get a job. I didn't ask for this stay at home dad thing,

that's what she says. I didn't ask for you to be a stay at home dad. I asked for you to be a husband. And a provider, get a job, hold it, stop sexteen twelve women. Stop treating your wife terribly. You say you've rededicated your life to Christ. Show me, Paul says, test yourselves. Test yourselves, make sure you're in the faith. Are you in or you out? Test yourselves. You'll know them by your fruits. You will know by your fruits. One of the fruits of the spirit is

self control. Control yourself, briand be a man, act like a man, get a job, respect yourself, respect others. Hold this thing down. You say, how do I save my marriage? First of all by meeting the first criteria? She says, hold a job for a year. That's what she says. You say, yes, ma'am. You want to save this marriage. You love this woman. Say yes, ma'am, whatever it takes. Be honest with you. Brn. I don't know if you're gonna do that, though your track record says you won't.

And I say that in a way to dig at you. You're gonna take that from me. You're gonna take me declaring that on this podcast in front of all these people that are listening right now. You're gonna take me saying that I don't think you could do it. Brn. The reaction I want you to have is, wait a minute, I'll prove it to you. I'll prove it. Okay, let me hold you accountable. Then email me twelve months from now. I challenge you, Bren. Email me twelve months from now

and say, man, I did it. I held down a job. I did exactly like she told me. She says, hold down a job and be an adult, insinuating two things. One you can't hold down a job. Two you're acting like a child. Test yourselves. Don't know them by their fruits. That's what Jesus said. Rededicate your life to Christ. Let's all talk unless you show me, unless you show her, show us. We'll see. Let's take a break. Beer right back. Hey, thank y'all for listening to the podcast. It really makes

my day. I love being able to share this platform with you in this kind of form, and I appreciate that you could also check out Amber. Did you know she has her own podcast now. It's called A Rise with Amber, So wherever you're listening to this, you can find on the same format Ambers Arise with Amber. You could also find me on cameo. Cameo dot com allows you to go and get a video message from me, made custom for anybody, one of your friends, or your

family members, or even for you yourself. You tell me what to say on my phone on the video and I send it to you. Super simple. Cameo dot com slash Grangersmith could also download the cameo app and search for me granger Smith. Love you guys. Back to the podcast. All right, back to the podcast. We're gonna jump right back in here. If you want to email me and have your question read on here, email me Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. A promise I won't be mad

at you if you do. I promise I won't yell at you much. Next question, subject line says working as a girl. Hello. My name is Sadie. I live in northern Idaho. I'm fifteen years old. People around here in my church and community tend to say that a girl should just help around at home and not work, or go to college, or just wait to find a husband who can provide for them. Let me read that again.

People around here in my church and community tend to say that a girl should just help around at home and not work, or go to college and just wait to find a husband who can provide for them. It really frustrates me when they say this. I believe that you should try and save as much as you can until you get married, so that then you could have something to kickstart your married life. What are your thoughts about this? How much money do you think people should

save before getting married? Thanks for all you do. I really love the podcast. God bless you and your family. She has a little asterisk here it says a quote that I'm trying to live by. Is this earn all you can say, all you can give, all you can John Wesley. All Right, Sadie, thank you so much. I just love it when a fifteen year old emails me some pretty deep thinking questions, and the first thing I think is, Man, I was so dumb at fifteen, Sadie. I was so dumb at fifteen. I was not thinking

like you at all at all. I was thinking about football and girls and guitars. Football, girls and guitars pretty much preoccupied my stupidity of my fifteen year old brain that I had at the time. So man, so encouraging that you're thinking you have some future thoughts like this, So let's dive into it. Okay, let's dive into your question, and I really like that quote. By the way, Earnli can't say, but you can't give all you can. I think that's I think that's pretty good first part of

your discussion. Here. People around here in my church and community tend to say that a girl should just help around at home and not work, or go to college and just find and just wait to find a husband who can provide for them. Let's just start with just that. What do you think, Sadie, you're fifteen. I don't like that you are kind of left with this stuff to

wrestle with as a fifteen year old girl. But I would ask you if we were sitting in a truck driving down a road you brought this up, I'd say, what do you think? What does your heart tell you? When you hear that, it sounds like it sounds like a community that's stuck a little bit. It sounds like a community that not moving forward in anything that they're thinking about. It sounds like people that haven't really been involved too much in the culture. And that is not

a bad thing. By the way, we don't need to get involved with the culture. We don't need to always be forward thinking when it comes to culture. But I want you to realize that you are not that generation. You're not your mother's generation or your grandmother's generation or your great grandmother's generation. They had very different ways of life than because of the circumstances surrounding them, which equals culture.

So you are in a different circumstance. College is different now than it was for the previous three generations when it even existed. It's different now. A current lifestyle is just different now. So without bringing the word culture into this is a different time. You know this. That's why you're bucking against it and you're emailing me this kind of question. Right, So let's say this, God makes man and woman very unique in different ways so that they

can excel and compliment each other. Like that's the ultimate goal, is to compliment each other in what they do. When you are not married, right, when you aren't married yet and you don't have anyone to compliment, then that's kind of irrelevant. Does that make sense? So if you're not married, then you're not a homemaker. If you don't have kids, you're not a mother. That sounds ridiculous, but we're just

got to start with the facts here. If you don't have children, then you don't have to act like a mother. If you're not married, you don't have to act like a homemaker. Right Also, if you want to make plans to go to college because you're not married yet, you don't have children at all, do it. It doesn't matter

what your community says, because you'll deal with that. You'll deal with giving your best attribute as a mother, as a wife, you'll deal with that when you are a mother and a wife, which you're not, and you don't need much preparation for that because you just know how to do it. That's what makes it so beautiful is that one day God will and you'll get pregnant and you will just know what to do. Right now, it's springtime and Texas, early spring time in Texas, right very

early spring right now. I love this time of year because I see all the birds starting to gather for their nest. And every time that happens every year, it just amazes me that these mama birds start collecting just the right pieces that they need to put together for the nest that that species of bird uses like some birds use trash like yarn, hair from animals, little pieces of scrap that they find like pieces of paper like some birds use that. Some birds will use only straw,

some birds use only grass or little sticks. But they go out and they start getting ready. They start getting this already because they know that it's coming, that those little babies are going to start growing inside them, and they're gonna need a place months ahead of time. It doesn't that that just blows me away. You were gonna

this is you. You're no different and we are no different than that animal instinct that starts preparing when the time is right, when the when the springtime comes, when the seasons change, you will know, your body will know, your brain will know, and you'll step in beautifully. You'll step into the role. But it's not springtime for you.

This is not the time to be thinking about being a homemaker or what did you say, helping around the home, not working, not going to college, waiting for a husband who's going to provide for them. It is not the season for that. You're hearing me. You're fifteen. It's another season. So learn to live in the season and that you're in. Don't listen to a community that tells you that to be living for a season you're not in yet. You have to recognize that you have to have ears to

hear what they're saying. They might be speaking to another generation or to another group of girls, but you are not that. You are fifteen, and you have to learn to be fifteen. I love the John Wesley quote earn all you can, save all you can, give all you can, but that is not that quote. John did not mean that for a fifteen year old girl. He didn't mean it for a fifteen year old boy. That's not what he meant. It's a wonderful piece of advice and a nice little quote to hang on the wall, but it's

not something to worry about or to think about. When the season changes, and it will, you'll be ready. You're not in that season yet. Just be fifteen, Just be fifteen, all right? Say it is this that makes sense? Let's hit another one here to the subject line, says traveling Pipeliner at Grande. I'd like to stay anonymous. I'm twenty years old from South Louisiana. Me and my girlfriend have

been together for a year. I was wondering, with all the traveling you do for concerts, how do you keep motivated and stay on path doing what you love without missing your family and friends. I'm currently sixteen hours away from home working on a pipeline, and I'm wanting to give up my dreams to be with my family and friends. Thanks for the advice, all right, mister anonymous. I appreciate you, buddy, Thank you so much for emailing shout out to South Louisiana.

And let me dive into this. You are twenty, you have a girlfriend, you're not married, and you're missing your family. I would like to dive in a little bit deeper about what you mean here, because I'm not sure if you're talking about your girlfriend specifically that you miss her and you love her and you're sixteen hours away from her, or if you're talking about mom and dad, brother, sister, stuff like that, and there's a difference. I believe. I

believe there's a difference. And so that's what I kind of want to dive into, is that I think, well, first of all, you can't compare me in my travels with yours, because there's twenty three years difference and a lot of life different between us. I was once twenty living fifteen hours away, so almost exactly the same scenario. When I was twenty, I was living fifteen hours away

from my family, and I missed them. But those years that time away was so valuable for me and what I learned earned when I got out of the house. When I was twenty and I got out and I went into a new state. I went to the state of Tennessee. I didn't know anybody in the whole state. And as I was working and meeting people and learning to make money and save money and give money. Just

like the last question, I had to learn that. I had to learn how to earn, learn how to save, learn how to give through I love how these two questions have suddenly connected, but I had to learn that through making mistakes. Like uh oh, I can't save if I don't earn, I can't give if I don't save, I can't earn unless I get a good job. This job I have right now is not good. Okay. Now, I made some money and I spent it. I didn't

save it. I have nothing to give. It's like you have to make those mistakes, and you make those mistakes away from your family, so that a you're not hurting anybody in your family and b they are not there as a safety to grab you and lift you up. They've done that for eighteen years plus. We've got a little boy right now, Maverick. He's a year and a half right now. We're gonna constantly catch him. When he falls. We're the safety net. We're gonna get him when he's

going down the stairs. We're gonna pick him up to make sure he doesn't go too fast. When he goes out and he's he's heading for the road, we're gonna grab him. We're gonna be around him constantly, creating that safety net. That's what we do. But once he gets to be a certain age, you have to go out on your own. And that's that's where you are now. So being alone, here's what I want to say, being sixteen hours away, being twenty years old, missing your family

like crazy and your friends is good for you. That's all I say all that to say, it's good for you. Man. You're being refined. You need this. I know you miss your friends, I know you miss your girlfriend, I know you miss your mom and dad. But this is something that needs to happen in your life right now, and it needs to happen to everyone around your age. In my opinion, you can't stay in the house in mom's basement and have her bring your meat loaf while you're

playing video games. You can't do that. You got to get out. You have to tackle the world. You have to fall and pick yourself back up. Mama's not around anymore, Girlfriend's not around, your friends, your buddies are not around. You fall, you pick yourself up. That's how you learn. That is so valuable. To do this. You need to be where you are right now. It needs to hurt a little bit, needs to sting. You need to lay your head on your pillow and go. This kind of sucks.

I miss Mom. I feel like crying right now. It's my birthday today. I remember that I was eighteen years old. I was in the Core Cadets at Texas A and M. And I was a freshman and the core Cadets it's a military academy at Texas A and M. And I remember as a freshman, we didn't know anybody that they

put you. They give you a roommate that you don't know at all, and they're just there's all these rules and they're yelling at you, and you got a shaved head, and that you don't have anything except this tiny foot locker and what's in it. And you gotta keep a perfect bed with perfect, perfect foldings all on the edges of the bed, and you got a safety pennant and

stuff so that doesn't come out. And then you got to sleep on top of the bed because you don't want to sleep in the bed because it messes it up. Then you're just living in this world. It's like a prison. And I remember laying there one night and I started thinking about where I was and the perspective of where I was, and looking up. I was on the bottom bunk looking up at the top bunk. My roommate up there. I didn't even know him. His name was really's good

friends with him. Now, I just all of a sudden it occurred to me, out of the blue, it's my birthday. I'm nineteen today. I'm nineteen today. And I started crying, y'all. I started crying, I'm nineteen, and I forgot. This is the first time Mama didn't come in and say happy birthday. First time I didn't get a big old handshake from Dad saying happy birthday, son. First time I didn't go to like a school and people said, hey, it's Granger's birthday.

Nobody knew. I was laying in that bed looking up at that bunk above me, and I thought, Man, this sucks. It's my birthday and I forgot. I forgot my own birthday because because of the pain I've been living in. I'm exaggerating, but I needed that. That was good for me. Here I am, all these years later telling that story because it was good for me. It mattered. You don't need to have Mama cooking meat loaf for you all the time. This good that you're missing her. I love

that you're on this PI. I love that you're sixteen hours away. I love that it hurts a little bit. I love that you're about to have a birthday or you just did. And you know exactly what I'm talking about. Guess what all this is gonna resolve one day. You're gonna take what you learned. You're gonna take this refinement and go back back into your life. Maybe you're gonna marry this girl, but you're gonna be better for it. You will have gone on this adventure and you'll be

better for it, better equipped now to move forward. Good on you, Anonymous, Stay where you are, brother. It's another question here. Subc decline on this one says, I know you're really busy, but please read this. I need your help. That's what I'm here for. Hey, grange'er, sorry in advance for this email. But my name is Luke. I'm nineteen. I'm in Indiana. My girlfriend and I have been off and on for five years. She's very attached to her parents and feels that they need to It shows that

she needs to rely on them for everything. We're currently both in college. I'm looking to join a trade but she felt the need to ask her parents how they felt about me doing such a job, and they do not like it because they're not manual labor people like me. My parents are divorced. She gets mad when I go to my dad's to visit with him, and when I do stuff with my friends or my family. But for her it's okay. I got into I got her into church, and I feel guilty if I leave her after showing

her what it's like to be loved by God. I'm just lost and I need help. I've prayed for this for many nights, but I haven't seen any results yet as my strength or in my relationship. Sorry, my reading's not very good on this. Emil but my patience is growing. Any advice for the situation and what to do, think you in advance. Luke. Okay, Luke, let me recap because I just did some really bad reading on this. You are nineteen. I've been with this girl for five years.

She is attached to her parents and she feels the need to rely on them for everything. You're both currently in college, but you're looking to join a trade. She asked her parents how they felt about that. They said no, because they are not manual labor people. Your parents are divorced. She gets mad if you go to your dad's and visit and do stuff with him and your friends or your family. But it's okay for her to do the

same thing. You got her into church. You don't want to leave her because that would be hypocritical in your mind, because you have showed her what it's like to be loved by God, and now you're gonna leave her. You feel lost. That is your email. Okay. It's also important that you said I've prayed for this for many nights, but I haven't seen any results. Okay, let's start with the prayer. Let's start with your prayer. You prayed for this many nights with no results. Well, that's nothing new.

That doesn't sound out of character for God to have you hold on and hold on and hold on until you start wondering. Am I asking the right thing? Have you thought about that? God's not answering my prayer? Am I asking the right prayer? Because God is sovereign, He is purposeful, He is all planning. He knows every hair on your head, he knows your exact days. So sometimes when we pray, if we're forgetting that, if we're forgetting

that he's sovereign that it's his will, not ours. If we forget that, then we start getting frustrated until we realize, Oh, I'm just praying what I want, like Santa Claus, like a Genie in the bottle, I'm just rubbing the bottle, saying, Genie, come out and grant me my wishes, and he goes, don't tell me how to get my glory. I am sovereign, I am planning, I am purposing. I know my plans I have for you. When are you going to learn to pray for a sovereignty situation? Like Gott? I know

you're working something right now. I know you're doing something. I know you're teaching me. I know you're disciplining me. I know you're churning something deep inside of me, refining me so that I could be closer to you, so that I can glorify you better. When is that prayer going to start being in your nightly prayers? Here? Gotta I love this girl, you know my heart. I don't need to tell you. You know my heart. God, you know I love this girl. But I feel like I'm

hitting a brick wall right now. Show me what you're doing in this so that I could better glorify you. If it's being with her or not, I'm gonna continue walking down this path. Close it off, and I feel like you're doing that right now. Change my heart, God, renew me from the inside out, because my flesh wants this and that's not always aligning with what you need. Show me, God, show me your way, your path, not mine.

Don't let me get in the way here, God, when are you gonna start praying that Luke outside looking in this girl? Selfish this girl? What's what she wants? You've been with her five years meaning you're nineteen, meaning you've been with her since you were fourteen. Bro, she's no good for you. That's what I see. You're telling me you want to join, you want to go into a trade, and her parents say no, they don't like it because they're they're not manual labor people. Do you know how

crazy that sounds. If your friend told you this, you'd say, bro dump her, break up with her. That's what you would say to any of your best friends. You would be hating your friend if you said stay with her, just just please her as much as you can. Luke, you would hate your friend if you told him that. You know this. If this was you, you'd say, break up with her. Your parents are divorced. You want to go see your dad, and she gets mad when you do stuff with him or your friends. Yet she gets

to do it. Dump her. She is too self involved. This is not love. You're just You're just a pond in her little dream. You just you are are making her little world go around because you are. You have stepped into her kingdom lower case K, and you are providing what she needs as a servant of her kingdom. You're meeting a criteria that she needs in a man. Time to leave the kingdom, break the gates, get out,

don't worry about this whole thing. You took her to church and you've shown her what it's like to be loved by God. No no, no, no no, that's not to be loved by God has nothing to do with any of the stuff you've just mentioned. You feeling me. I understand that sometimes you're in a situation like this and it seems like the walls are closing in. You say, I'm lost and I need help. I'm praying, my strength

is waning. I understand when you're in it, but when you're outside and I'm reading it and all these people are listening on this podcast, everyone is saying, Luke, leave her, leave her. You're nineteen, no kids yet, no kids yet. You got a clean slate, a new chapter, turn the page. Thank you guys for emailing Luke. I appreciate you brother, all you guys for being vulnerable and opening up. I love you for that and we'll see you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith podcast. I

appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yi