You have a distorted view of men and what they what the role in a relationship should be. You could see men in a light where they you're going to look for someone that's an over protector. You're gonna look in a light where you don't trust any of them. You're gonna look in a light that maybe it's okay to be open about not trusting. But either way, this story points you in a direction where you have a blurred line of what a man is in your life.
Don't fall for that trap. What's up everybody? Welcome to the podcast, Episode one hundred and seventy seven. Got my buddy Bernie with me one seventy seven. That's incredible, man, What are we cooking up for two hundred because I feel like it's a big milestone Pastor Chad coma, Yeah, y'all. I just by the way, I just saw Pastor Chad in Montana, went up there and visited him and he's doing great. I miss having him on here. He's going to start coming more often, hopefully back to Texas and
he'll have to get on here. So maybe we'll do an episode two hundred's that's creeping up man, it is and the live one we talked about last year, maybe two hundreds A live one. Man, I'm really excited about that idea. Yeah, do so. We would like to take this podcast live, me and Bernie in front of a live audience where you stand up, we passed around microphones, we record it, and you ask in real time. Now we do this without notes or preparing, so that there
would be no difference. We would just go for it. I think that would be incredible. So if you're listening on a place that allows you to comment, like YouTube, let me know in the comments a city for Bernie Night to go to. That'd be awesome. They will do a little tour, like a podcast tour, like three or four days. Love it go hit three or four cities. Yeah, some applause after we're done would actually feel kind of nice. It's really it's just quiet in here, guys, so quiet.
See you next time. Crickets podcast tour. I like this idea. We could jump on Southwest airlines, hit some Southwest cities like maybe Austin would be one, Maybe Houston, Dallas. What if we go to monta city, What if we go to Montana to Chad, Yeah, that could be one. Well, Bozeman is now Southwest City. Well, not that it has to be that airline. We can go to Kalispell, we can go to We got to hit the west coast, got to hit the east coast, got to hit the south.
Comment below where do you think we should go? Can't forget the Midwest? To do it? Ohio or Michigan in there somewhere do three or four man? It would be really cool. Yeah, I love it. Okay, So things coming? Yeah twenty three Griz. What we do here? In case you're just like, what are they talking about? We answer your questions. You email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com and we walk through them like we're just sitting around a campfire. Okay, So first question here, subject line says,
what do I do about nursing school? Hey Granger, I lost my time right here. Maybe I'm not a bit Bernie. You give me bad luck on tiers. I'll just keep track of this. Got it says, Hey Granger. My name is Cheyenne. I'm twenty two, currently struggling with the decision to finish nursing school. I'm about halfway done, but I keep getting this feeling that's not what I'm meant to do. My anxiety gets worse when I'm at school or clinical.
I broke down while at the hospital rotation. I prayed about this a lot, and my husband is very supportive and whatever I decide, We've had many talks about this and we've prayed together as well. But I know a lot of people in my life won't agree or will I have something to say if I decide to leave. I feel confused and lost. Any advice, thank you? Okay.
So I believe that the human experience is very much layered with so many different circumstances and influences, and so at a glance, I know there may be something that you're not putting here that would if I knew that, I would be like, yeah, you maybe need consider quitting. But if I'm only going on what you've said here, you got to finish. Like I feel like people I know are and myself are doing really hard things right now, and they're getting into it and they're like, this is
so hard. I'm thinking about quitting, and I'm like, don't quit. Finish what you start. Yeah, there's so much growth that we can gain, and you don't even get that until you get to the place where you want to quit. And then you keep going, and then you keep going a lot of personal growth there. So I say, keep going, you'll get done and be very glad that you finished it. I don't have much to add to that, and I totally agree, Cheyenne. Let's sit with you just for a
second and just say, yeah, get it, get it. Life comes at you fast. Sometimes sometimes you bite off more than you could chew. You sign up for something that you didn't think it was going to be that hard. You're twenty two, you're newly married. Probably you got a lot of things going on besides nursing school. I'm sure you're praying about this. You've got a great supportive husband, which is amazing. Me and Bernie are saying, don't quit.
You don't have to be a nurse. You don't have to take this as a career, but I think you do have to finish school. What's interesting about anything like this is to think how special it would be to be a nurse and to be helping others, and to be pouring into these lives and helping heal people and give them, give them relief from their pain or or some kind of you know, anecdote for their struggle. You get that with being a nurse. Did you think it
was going to be easy to have that kind of responsibility? Right? Do you think anyone could just sign up for that the responsibility a nurse has, and God bless all of y'all listening that are nurses. The responsibility that you have to people in a community. Do you think that's just handed out freely? Or do you think that's something that you study and toil over and lose sleep over and have panic attacks sometimes because it's so much on you and in order to earn that certificate so that you
could pour into the community. Aren't we glad that there is a gatekeeper for our nurses so that no one could just sign up and anyone could be a nurse, right? You put your life. They're sticking needles in you. Yeah, and they're like, yeah, I filled out a form and then they gave me this job. I would be like, well, you're not touching me. Yeah. It makes you think that everyone that sticks you with the needle. You go, was nursing school tough? And they look at you and go, yeah,
it was really tough. It took everything I had just to finish. In fact, I wanted to quit and then we all collectively say thank you for not quitting, because
now you're serving the community. So Cheyenne, don't quit. Yeah, not dismissing at all the difficulty and if and there's also something to be you didn't say this, but like if you had a relative that you know became sick and all of a sudden, you have to like your your time and attention from outside forces all of a sudden was like taken somewhere, Like you need your bandwidth to really go serve something that just happened in your
family or your community. That's a totally different thing. Then yes, this is just it's harder than I thought. Not dismissing that feeling of it being harder than you thought. But I think, like Granger said, you gotta keep at it. You're gonna you're gonna be really thinking that you did. In the end, I think, yep, you are. Let's go to the next question subject line, help me move on. Hey Grangdarmin. Name is Hannah. I'm nineteen just started listening
to your podcast. I really enjoy it. Thank you for the encouragement. And I recently when I was says when I was around age of seven, my older brother started sexually assaulting me and it lasted for four years. When he finally confessed to my parents, I thought that I was free and something would be done to help me and him. My dad did nothing for years. He let my brother live there, and after he moved out, he came back home after two years, let him stay and
acted as if it was normal. I found out a couple years later that shortly after confessing, my mom had found out my brother in a closet. Had found my brother in a closet attempting to commit suicide. My dad later said that the reason for his guilt and why he couldn't kick him out, that was the reason for his guilt because he tried to commit suicide. You going to say I need to forgive, and I'm going to I just heard your latest podcast about forgiveness, and I'm
having trouble doing that. Thank you. My question is this was my dad in the right to let my brother live around me and not protect me or my sisters even after he had turned eighteen. Am I in the wrong for hoping that my dad would kick him out and try his best to protect us there. I hope you can help me. I get my comfort from the Lord, but it still upsets and hurts me. Thanks again, Hannah, that one took a deep, dark turn that I was not expecting. We don't read these emails before, so that yeah,
that took a dark turn. And you're still young, Hannah nineteen, Well, let's do a quick recap here. When you're around the age of seven, your older brother started sexually assaulting you, and that happened for four years. He confessed from guilt to your parents. At that point, you thought, okay, good, this is over. Something could be done to help us now, but your dad did nothing. After the confession, your dad did nothing and continue to let your brother live you
with you. Then fast forward a little bit of time two years, your mom finds him trying to commit suicide in a closet. Your dad says that right there, like that attempted suicide was the reason I didn't kick him out of the house because I'm adding this, because I thought that would make things worse and he would go commit suicide somewhere else. You say, I need to forgive, and I'm going to not yet you're implying how do
I do that? And then your question, your main question is was my dad in the right to let my brother live around me parentheses. I'm adding because he thought he might commit suicide somewhere else and not protect me or my sisters even after he turned eighteen. Am I in the wrong for hoping that my dad would kick him out and try to protect his family? All Right, that's a lot. That's a lot to unpack. His lot, not not only information, but just emotionally, it's a lot.
Hannah was her name, Hannah? Yeah, Hannah, so sorry to hear this, Like, man, this is just heartbreaking and yeah, just a reminder of how broken our world really is. Yeah, Hannah. Also, you're not alone in this situation. It's not the first time I've heard something like this. In fact, it's not the first time I've read something like this on this podcast. You are not alone. There are a lot of people
involved in situations like this. I don't want to say it's common, but it's more prevalent than we could possibly even imagine because most people don't say it out loud, but they're part of this sibling, weird sexual thing that, like Bernie said, because we live in a broken world, that stuff does exist, and most people just suppress it move on. They get to be adults and they just hope that they don't think about it, but it matters
and it still churns inside us. So you're fresh out of this or kind of, but I just want to tell you, like Bernie said, first of all, I'm so sorry. And second of all, you're not alone. There's people listening right now. I promise you right now that go yep, Hannah, that's me, or that was me thirty years ago, or that's me right now. You are not alone in this. Yeah.
The first, before we start to attempt to answer these questions of rights and wrongs, if you have not seen or pursued like professional counseling and therapy, I would highly recommend that a Christian counselor if you say that, I
think she said she's a belie. Lord. Okay, there's a lot of trauma that you have endured, and I think in order for you to ever get to a place of forgiveness and understanding grace and understanding what happened and how it affected you, this is so dark and so deep that I would highly recommend licensed professional Christian counselor. Not that me and Griz aren't great, but you need a pro to like help you process some of this
stuff for sure. Yep. So that being said, we'll try to dig into it with you, and the answers to your questions are very easy. But you already know that you know that you asked us softball questions, so we'll try to go beyond it. Your first question, was my dad in the right to let my brother live around me and not protect me or my sisters? No? No, not at all. The fact that you have to ask the question means that your dad didn't go above and beyond, like I know either one of us would do to
make our daughters feel safe one hundred percent. Yeah. The next part says, am I in the wrong for hoping my dad would kick him out and try its best to protect us. Man, That just that hurts my heart, Hannah. It hurts me because not only just for you, but because I know that that's truly what you feel, and and that so many other people deal with this kind of thing, where you would think it's just common knowledge that a daddy is going to protect his little girl.
You just think that that's, oh, that's just a thing, like that's what daddies do. They protect a little girl at all costs. That's what we're here for, to protect our little girls. But because we live in a fallen world, and because there's broken men, and because we have weak men, and because not everyone has the Lord, there's there's a
breach in that. And you are not wrong and thinking that your daddy should protect you, and you're not wrong in hoping that he would, and then he would kick somebody out, including a family member, including a suicidal family member. You would think that a dad would say, look, I love my son, I always love my son, and then he's suicidal. I don't want to lose him, but I'm still gonna separate him from my daughters because he's sick
right now. Not necessarily because my son is an evil person, but because he's actually sick and he needs help and he can't be around the drug right now. He's an attic. So I'm gonna get him out and I'm going to live with him, or I'm gonna or his mom's going to live with him, or his uncle's going to live with them, and then I'm gonna live with my daughter. I'm gonna separate them. You would think that that's just a normal thought from a man, but it's not. Yeah, instead,
this guy says, I hope it just goes away. Yep. But I do believe that in God's providence, you will be one of the most protective friends Mom's spouses because this feeling of unprotection has been so exposed to you, and I know that it's really hard, and this is
where you're gonna get. You're gonna have to do the work to maybe get here with a counselor and unpack this, to mentally really get to a place where you can see that God is using this for Him to be glorified some way through this broken story of yours, that others may look at you and glorify him, be like, Wow, what a miracle God has done in your life, not by a human hands alone, Like you have not done this.
I can tell because I hear your story, and I'm like, there's no way somebody does and lives the way you're living without the Holy Spirit and man that can be true about your story. It really can. I think that there's some work you're gonna need to do before that. But I'm just thinking of that Taylor three King's book that you sent me and that I read twice because it was so good. It's like we sometimes we are.
We're just not aware of, you know, the sauls in our lives and our own you know, tendency to be a saul until he is put in our lives. And so this, you know, she she has the choice to be you know, her dad, or she has the choice to be her and who God wants her to be and be a protector. And yeah, move forward that way. So I don't know if that's I think it's. So there's a couple of things you're gonna go. You're gonna seek some professional help, like Bernie said, You're gonna use this.
This pain is going to become a purpose for you to become a protector, to spread the message of others for protecting. But but I want to say something, you know, I want to say this because in a situation that's really dark, and we don't want to deny that this is a dark situation for you and hurtful for you. Things in life could always get worse, and I do believe this kind of story, Hannah hear me has a tendency to get worse. Here's how you're nineteen. Now you're
being courted by men. You have a distorted view of men and what their role in a relationship should be. You could see men in a light where they you're going to look for someone that's an overprotector. You're going to look in a light where you don't trust any of them. You're going to look in a light that maybe it's okay to be open about not trusting. But either way, this story points you in a direction where you have a blurred line of what a man is
in your life. Don't fall for that trap. That's so good, that's so good. I hope you're nineteen. I'm hoping you're getting this. You get this message in time. I hope the mail gets delivered at your house in time before you have this boyfriend that becomes the monster that your brother or your dad was either weak or overly obsessive or addictive or controlling. Either way, please get my message, Hannah. If it's not too late, have discernment. In fact, be
single for a while. You you are someone that should be single for a while. Oh for sure. There. Yeah, there's a Like I said, there's a lot of work to do, and I'm I'm completely confident and just sharing with you guys that I'm personally work with a counselor in therapy. I've been through some things in my life that I need help kind of from a Christian world view, like unpacking and understanding, like what was God doing in
this preparing me for what is next? And maybe you're listening to this and your story is not as traumatic. Maybe there's some sense of abuse, maybe there's some sense of distortion of you know, male female identity, or the role of a man and a woman in a marriage
or relationship, or a father or a mother. Yeah, I feel like we just need to like be okay with taking a minute and thinking and maybe become a little more self aware and humble enough to accept that isn't something we just shake off and say, oh, you know, that was not I gotta be tough. I gotta just like move on. Okay, there's a there is a sense of some things we just we have to like move
forward forward. But if you're not taking the time to kind of process those things, I think, like Granger said, you could be just headed down a path that will become more and more destructive. And not just for Hannah, but for anybody listening. Like, man, there is just life and hope out there for all of us. If we're willing to just kind of stop, have some self reflection, let the Holy Spirit speak to us, and then be willing to like maybe go into those places. Yeah, Hannah,
we just yeah, our hearts are breaking for you. Yeah, and we really hope that you can get to a place of forgiveness. Yeah. Yeah, we love you and thank you for sharing. We'll be right back. Thanks for listening to the podcast. Guys, if you want to talk to me, you want to reach out to me, you want me to give you a video map of me saying anything to anybody. Maybe it's a happy birthday, or happy anniversary, or Merry Christmas, whatever it might be, that whatever time
of year it is. I could do this through cameo dot com. You just go to cameo dot com search for me Grangersmith. I think it's cameo dot com slash granger Smith texts you right to it. You could also download the app, the Cameo app c A M EO and search for me Granger Smith. And I'm making any message you want. It's really cool. I sit here on my phone and turn on my camera and I'll send you a message exactly like you want me to say it.
So you're like, hey, can you tell my wife Brenda that a lover and that I'm so sorry for screwing everything up this year whatever it might be. And then I send you a message. I'm like, hey, Brenda, I just heard from Mike and I says he loves you and he's just really sorry he screwed everything up, and I hope you get back with him or whatever it might be. You come up with the message and I'll say it for you. Cameo dot com slash Granger. All right,
back to the podcast. If you have a question for me or Bernie, email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. We're gonna just talk through it like we're in the cab of a truck or sitting around a campfire. This one. I'm just going through these. I have no They're totally random. Okay, no subject. It says, Hey Granger, please keep me anonymous. I'm twenty years old. I have grown to hate my job. I've been on the hunt for a new job for
right around a year. I know what I would like to do for a career, and it's one that my dad and uncle is involved in. They have all the connections to get me a job, but they won't help me anytime I bring it up to either one of them. I'm just ignored. I've been trying to reach out to different places and put out my application at a dozen places with no response. Should I keep trying by myself or bring it up to my dad and uncle? Thanks
for your advice. Loving music. That's interesting. I wonder if it's law enforcement because they don't want him to get into that because they know how difficult it is. Yeah, your dad was a police officer, so I kind of bring it up. Yeah, I'm trying to think. What could it be that they Yeah, that would be tough because if I would have told my dad I was going into you know, police academy and law enforcement, he had been like fired up. He gave his life to it. Yeah.
Or maybe the Sun is just kind of like lazy and dumb and they're like, I can't I can't get you a job. You're getting out for you man, you're gonna make a reputation and make us look bad. Well for our purposes, Burns, we don't have a it's not the information's not here, so we got to move on and give him what we know without that information. Okay, he's anonymous. He's anonymous, and can we name him Johnny? Yeah,
we'll name him Johnny. Sure, all right, john Johnny. I don't I don't like to see email me and I don't like I don't like your tone. Man, I don't like your tone. I love I love hey man, my dad and my uncle. You see, they won't They just won't give me the job. Come on, come on, So I don't I love everybody at emails. Okay, I love you guys, so don't hear me wrong, But I'm just don't like your email. I don't like your tone. Can that be the intro that you put out on TikTok
for to promote this one? I love you guys, but I like your email. So and let me read it back. Sometimes you got to hear what you said back to you, like I want to turn the mirror on you. And you hear it and you go, oh, yeah, you said, I growing to hate my job. Yeah they have I like this, Senate. This is the one that gets me. They have all the connections to get me a job,
but they won't help me. It's like that just kind of defines a culture that we live in where the first thing I would ask is, hey, Johnny, do you need their help? Are you a little boy? Because you said you said you're twenty, Do you need their help to get the job? Are you gonna go do it yourself? What if your dad and your uncle are thinking that, Like, let's see how bad he wants this, it's a good point. He goes and he pours himself into it. He goes out and puts himself out there and works hard and
earns his rights for this kind of job. Then we step in and go, yeah, he wants it, will vouch for him. But it sounds like you're saying they got all the connections and they won't even help me anytime I bring it up, they just ignore me. Like this sounds so Johnny. I'm saying that this is gonna come down to you having a man to man discussion with your dad, and it's time. You're twenty, He say, Dad, can I talk to you about something? I admire you
and your brother so much. In fact, I've watched y'all for years, and I've watched you succeed in this career, whatever it might be, and I want to emulate that because I admire you so much, Dad, I want to do that. My question is what are the steps I need to take for this career? What could I do on my own? What kind of skill sets could I start earning and growing and learning? Do you have any advice for me? You notice I'm not asking for help
from him this whole conversation. I'm not saying, can you call somebody and set up a job interview? You're just saying, Dad, what could I do? Please give me advice on what I could do to earn my way into this kind of position. That's a much different place. That's a humility that you're not showing on the email I that I would like to see from you. And also maybe ask hey, Dad, is there a reason that you wouldn't want me to do this? Yeah? If it is, maybe it's law enforcement.
Let's just hypothetically say that maybe there's things that you don't know about it that your dad and your uncle know, but maybe they just haven't communicated it to you, maybe because you haven't asked or you're not showing. Maybe in that conversation, be like, hey, want to be like you let me know, what what do you advise that I can do to like kind of pursue down this path and Is there anything that I need to know about this that a reason you wouldn't want me to do this?
Like what do you think, Dad? So here's another example, like those King Crab guys, those Alaskan King Crab guys, Like that's a dangerous job. Maybe maybe be in a prison guard dangerous job. Maybe being in the Marine Corps, be in law enforcement. Maybe anything that the dad thinks to himself, I wouldn't I would not want my son to sign up for something like this. Okay. So maybe that's the question Bernie would like you to ask him, and maybe he sees himself in you and then opens up.
Let me put myself in this situation, okay. Music business. My son Lincoln, he's sitting around one day and he goes, Dad, I want to be I want to be in the music business. And I'm like, Okay. In my mind, I'm like, man, this took me a long time. That took me a lot of toil and hard work and sweat and pain and tears and success and failure, failure, failure, tiny success, failure, failure, failure. It's hard on the heart. And so my son Lincoln says, Dad, I want I want to be in the music business.
Can you make some phone calls for me? And I'm thinking maybe I'm not calling anybody. You got to show me if I'm going to call somebody first, I need to know that you're ready for this kind of pain. You're ready for this kind of sacrifice and failure and minimal success and minimal money to pay the bills and unstable family that if you get married, I want to know that you want to push through all that. Then I'll make some calls. It's kind of the same thing
you're saying. And I'm the dad in the situation, So hate me or not. Lincoln could hate me or not. You could hate your dad or not. It doesn't come from a place of us not wanting the best for you. Yeah, I think if Lincoln came to you, it was like, Dad, I love playing music, I've watched your career. Tell me, tell me the highs and lows of everything you've been through. What did it take for you to because he only knows you know the good stuff, tell me all the stuff.
It might actually he may be like, I don't want to do that. Yeah, that's not where I'm not going to have that level of sacrifice commitment because what you're talking about. Doesn't look and sound as you know, glamorous, as you know the photos that I see on the wall of you at these big concerts. It sounds like a lot of not that. So that's why I think you got to talk to him like he's got the experience doing what you want to do, and maybe that
would change your mind about the whole thing. Absolutely all right. How about this one subject line X and I dated two years blindsided breakup. Hey Granger, my name is Jared. I'm twenty eight from Michigan, Love your Music. Was in a relationship and we had what seemed to be a healthy, good and fun one came home from a trip blindsided and broken up, with her explanation being I didn't know how to love her and she wasn't healed from a past. X. Okay,
I get it. I didn't know me, I didn't know how to love her, and she wasn't healed from a past X and learned to resent me because of this. I wasn't one hundred percent perfect, but she had been seeing a therapist but never communicated this topic to me. Only had two decent talks and never we never fought or argued. Okay, I'm trying to follow this email, and she said that she would have cut it off sooner
and given me no second chances. I'm struggling now because we talked about marriage and kids and building a house and building a life together as well as she mentioned marriage to my friends and hers. Was this because of a therapist interjecting do I move on, work on myself and wait? Much love God bless with a lowercase gee? Okay, we got to recap this one for a second. Sorry, I always got to get my brain. I read this for the first time ever with you guys live and
then Jared, you're twenty eight Michigan boy love Michigan. You were in a good relationship. How long, Bernie? Does it say two years? And isn't it in the title ex of two years? Yes? Yeah, you're right, two years in the title? Okay, good, healthy, fun relationship, not many fights? She boom, she breaks up with you. Her reason for breaking up is you didn't love her and she wasn't healed from a pass ax, so she learned to resent you. Because of that, she was going to a therapist. You
didn't know about it. Now you're struggling because you talked about marriage talked about kids, talked about building a house, a life, she talked about marriage to your other friend. You're a little bit embarrassed, probably, And so the first question you have, out of the thousands that come out of your brain right now, because you're going through heartbreak and you one of your questions is was it the therapist. Maybe the therapist said something that just changed her mind.
Let's start with that. No, he also said something in there though that jumped out to me. He just kind of sl looked it in like I wasn't one hundred percent perfect. Yeah, you did say that. I want to tug at that threat a little bit. I don't know what you meant by that. If it was like your way of being humble, being like, hey this isn't this wasn't all all her, but also like a lot of it was her, or if it was like, hey, like I did this other stuff, but you know, Yeah, he
didn't want to like put that in the email. It just in the flow of the email. It felt just kind of like slid in. And then move back on to her therapist. Yeah, Jared, she had a therapist. You have me and Bernie. Yes, you got a therapists too. Kind of So what are you saying, does he does he stay or go? This is so so easy, This is so so but so much information and it's so easy.
She she had a change of heart. You got to move on, yep, And you say work on myself and wait, I don't know, that's just that's like an Instagram tag work on yourself and weight. I don't know. What I do know is you move on and you look at this as something you learn. You chalk off your loss and say I learned something from this and I wasn't one hundred percent. Maybe I'll try a little bit better next time in the next relationship, learn some move on.
This is just a classic heartbreak and and heartbreak a there's a million reasons and explanations, and she's gonna give you all this stuff like, well, I didn't feel like you loved me, and oh and also my past X you know it wasn't totally healed, and so I learned to resent you because of them. So sure, she might have learned that kind of language from a therapist, but she didn't go to the therapist say that and then
realize she needs to break up with you. The girl's got problems, don't we all and she doesn't love you. It's time to move on. Yep, time to move on, and time for us to move on to the next question. I saw an interesting subject I'd like to read for you, Bernie, because you are good at this kind of stuff. The subject line says teaching Sunday school and divided church. They're going Your name is Stephanie. I'm for Berlin, Pennsylvania. First of all, PA, A huge fan of everything you do.
My family and I have seen you twice, and my boys always ask me when the next best time is. That's our meet and greet. I have two questions. First off, my sister in law, Lacey, and I teach first and second grade students in our Sunday school. What Bible do you recommend for that age group and where would you suggest we start to teach them about the importance of it. We have struggled with the curriculum and most of the time it is above what they can comprehend and they
lose interest right away. My second question is our church has been struggling for a few years and I'm afraid of its I grew up there and I hate seeing the numbers continually drop. We have not had a regular pastor quite some time. We're a small church that consist of mostly older population who do not like change. This has made it hard to find the right pastor, and therefore our youth have not been interested in participating anymore. Any suggestions on how to bring our church back to life.
We have quite a few youths if we can get them here again. Thanks for your time, Stephanie. I always wonder when I read an email from a fan that actually listens and goes to meet and greets, how it must feel randomly listening to the podcast And yeah, oh man, I don't That's not lost on me, y'all. It's not lost to me. And I try to always keep that kind of perspective that I'm not reading just stuff on
my phone. I'm reading real life stories from real people that are potentially really listening to me as I say it, and it potentially means a lot that me and Bernie are gonna dive into their moment in time, So it's not lost on me, and I just I love you guys for that. We'll start with her first question, and did you have something else? No, no, no no, I was just gonna comme in on the first part. So I taught elementary did you know this? Like I was? I
was a long term substitute teachers Austin. Yeah. That meant that I had like kindergarteners and all the way through fifth grade. Yeah, And I got to say, like the younger kids, I would want to pull my hair out, like I don't know if anything can keep their attention, like so as far as like what to teach them and like them be able to comprehend, I'm gonna have to take a pass on that because I have I
really have no idea. I know. I have the storybook Bible that my son's in kindergarten, and he loves that. He actually like what We've read through it many many times, and he'll like, remember sometimes, if I'm honest, I try to like, Okay, let's just get to the point, and I'll like, you know, leave out one little line of it and he's like, well, Dad, wasn't there also three boats? Like Okay, yeah, there was three boats, but that one I feel like they can comprehend and it all points
to Jesus. I think that's a good one to start. Maybe, Man, I'm gonna say the same thing. I'm gonna I'm gonna take a pass on this too. And here's the reason. Partly because you know, we could talk about it, we could really dig into it. We could direct you maybe to some websites that show you. But here's the thing that this is a this is a problem that's stemming from your second question. Yeah, you don't have a lead pastor. You don't have a lead teaching pastor. You don't have
a leader of the church. Without that, he's the guy that's gonna give the kids the curriculum, and he's gonna he's gonna make that and and shape that and pull that from the denomination or that they're you're there, greater organization that you're a part of. He's going to pull that so that it feeds into his style of teaching. And that is something only he could do. And so when you don't have that, this is one of the many problems you have in a church without a lead
pastor that makes those kind of decisions. I got a country singer and his friend on a podcast cannot speak and should not speak into a small church in Pennsylvania about what to teach their kids. For sure, we could have opinions, but that I don't think it's right to do that. And to your second question, this is really we talk about a lot of sensitive topics and it's strange to think of this one as really sensitive, but
it actually is. Because me speaking in any way into the leadership of a church that I am not connected with at all is it's a dangerous territory. But I'm going to try. So please use that as a just kind of just know that this is maybe not completely wise of me, and so just take that with a grain of salt, that this is a friend at all. This is a friend at a campfire, and not any
kind of leadership speaking into you. But it sounds like your church is in really bad trouble and without a leader you cannot continue to exist in this way for all kinds of reasons. So I would need to sit with you and say, what you know, what denomination are you? What? What is your greater organization that you're a part of. For instance, like if it was a Southern Baptist convention,
you could you could reach out to someone there. If it was like the Greater uh ARC churches or a Methodist organization or the Lutherans, what you could always reach out that way. So I don't know what you are. Maybe you're totally independent, which which would make things way worse,
because then you're really in trouble. This might be a situation where you bring your members together and you call a member meeting and you, guys are gonna give yourself to another church in your community, and you're gonna say, and this happens. I've actually seen it happen specifically in this town where I live. You say, you say, we don't have a leader, we cannot exist. An army can't
exist without a leader. Nothing can. So we're gonna give our body, our resources, our building if you need it, our youth group, our hymnals, everything, We're gonna give it to you. We're gonna join forces if your congregation makes a vote and says yes, we will accept this church
and merge with us. Now you're gonna have to find the right one, the right the right pastor, the right lead pastor, and that you might go down several of these and I think a lot of coffee meetings and a lot of a lot of prayer and a lot of meeting with these pastors. It's very possible that one of them says, yeah, we got our doors open. We would love for you thirty eight people or fifty four p However many there are to just come right in here and we'll sell your building or give up the
lease on it or whatever. But but this, I think that that is a better solution. Then you're looking for another pastor to come in and fix everything that's wrong. So what do you do? What was her name, Stephanie? Yeah? Okay, So what do you do when Stephanie goes to the member meeting and it's a whole lot of old people. Yeah, very possible that she's like she said, yeah, that they're like,
we're not doing that. Okay, now this is the way they're they're kind of like stuck in and without having Stephanie here to be able to ask like, what does the you know, the eldership of their church look like? What kind of influence has is there any elders? Like or how are you current? How long have you been looking for a lead pastor how all of those questions?
Like if you go and you just say, hey, she has this idea to do this, I think if you're maybe a younger congregation that really is more active and wanting to flourish and grow, and I think they could be it more open. But what do you say to her if she says, hey, Grangeery, I went and I did that, here's what I got. What what do you think I should do next? Yep, yeah, here's here's my
thought on that. I would. I would go out with a small team people that agree with you, a small team and try to find some really good options that then you bring with you to the greater group. Here's here's the perfect, the ideal scenario that's in my head for you, Stephanie. There is a church in your community that is just now planting or about to break apart
and plant. And there's a new pastor that's about to start teaching in the junior high gymnasium or the movie theater, or he already is in a rented space, and he has twelve, fifteen, twenty five brand new members. He just started three months ago or maybe during COVID, and things have been hurting, and you go to him and you love him and you pray with him, and you see his vision and you say, look, we have a building. Would you like to come and take over our building
with your people? And he goes. Obviously, you know through the appropriate prayer. He goes, yeah, I think that would think that would be incredible. He say, Okay, first first matter is you got to come to our old people and you got to make the pitch win them over. You got to win them over, and a good pastor could easily do that. Say absolutely, my heart is for these people. So he comes in and he says, this is who I am, this is what I could bring.
I'm bringing seventeen people with me and we would love to use your building. Yeah, and I'm not trying to change you. I'm trying to help you flourish. Yep. Yeah, yeah, I saw this exact thing play out, and so it is possible. Everything is possible with God. I do not think you should continue on in this pastor search thing. It doesn't seem like it's going very well and you can't continue without a leader. Yeah. Yeah, it's all tell me again. Thanks for having me man, Love you bro.
Good to be back, see you guys, see you next Monday. Yay. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye ge