#176 Do We Worship a Narcissistic God?

If you're not, if you're listening on Spotify or Apple or something, you won't notice. But he is now a mountain man. Yeah, he's got a beard. I'm embracing my inner Will Brown, no haircut, not shit, you are that guy, I do remember. You'd be friends now the way you look. You'd be friends with my friend Marv, who's a pastor. He's a mennnight pastor in South Carolina and he listens to this podcast every Monday. Really really good dude. And Marv, yeah his name is Marvin. You're starting to look like

a midnight pastor with this beard. Shout up to what we do on this podcast with Bernie. He helps me a lot because we just answer your questions. And Bernie has been answering my questions for about twenty years. When I have a problem, I reach out and I'm like, hey, birds, I got a problem, or it doesn't even have to be a problem, just just a scenario walking through life, walking through life. And so that's what we do with you. And you email me Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.

We're gonna get to this inbox. I told Bernie, I have no idea what's coming up like that. There's no planning, there's no notes flying blind, we don't have no special quotes that we're just gonna out there. Our minds are empty right now. Yeah, all right, So first question, Brenda gets it and it says this, Hey, granger I really enjoy your podcast. I'm from West Virginia. I was married in two thousand and six, got divorced in two thousand and eight. My ex husband died in twenty twenty. I

consider myself single, not divorced. Now. I have a relationship with God and I've been praying for a godly man. Can you please tell me what to do? There is not a singles group in our church. I don't know what I could do. Thank you for everything to do. God, bless Brenda. Brenda from West Virginia, married, married in six, got divorced in eight. He died in twenty. He died in twenty twenty. So she considers herself single, not divorced.

Now that's just a mentality she's going with here. But the question, it sounds like, is how do I get a man? She's lonely? Yep, because two thousand and six a long that's a long time. Or two thousand and eight when she divorced. Oh sorry, I got divorced two thousand and eight. Still okay, So still we're talking a long time, sixteen years something like that. Fifteen years. So

I have a relationship with God, she says. I've been praying for a godly man, she says, And then she asked me, and you, Bernie, but what can I do? There's not a singles group at church. I don't know what to do. Okay, what you got for Brenda Brenda? So again, we don't prepare for these questions. I'm just kind of praying beforehand that hey, Holy Spirit, give us

the words, bring to mind the things you want. These people to hear and us to hear as well through this because I think this podcast ministers to Griz and I both so. Pastor John Piper says that God is most glorified through us when we are most satisfied in Him.

If you have a relationship with God and you are in his word and you read that the purpose of our life is to glorify God with our lives, right, and if that is the most evident when we are most satisfied in Him, I think maybe that not that having a partner, and you know, a companion is a bad thing by any means, but maybe just kind of check, like, man, am I most satisfied in him? Is he fulfilling? Is his grace sufficient? Is he enough? Or am I looking

to fill a part of that with this companion? Maybe you answer, yes, God is enough. He's sustaining me. He sustained me for the last however sixteen years or however long it's been. But you know, you do feel this loneliness and you desire for companionship, which can be a godly thing and can be a great, you know thing. As far as the practical, how do I do that? I've just been so out of the game so long. I have no I have no idea how you do

it these days. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it, and I want to kind of reinforce what you said, because that's not that's not the first thing that came to my mind when you went to the piper, most glorified thing. I love that, and I think that's a that's a great answer kind of for anyone with any question. And so let's look, let's kind of dissect that and

see what that looks like. Because to some people that comes across is like, my purpose is to glorify godd How narcissistic must he be if he creates beings, and then their purpose is to glorify him, Like when you first look at it on the surface, that's what it sounds like. I don't really want to worship a god like that, that a narcissistic god just wants attention, literally creates people so that they will give him attention. I don't I don't like that. I don't like that thought.

That's what some of you might be thinking. So let's unpack it and see what, like where that goes, and maybe dig deeper into what that could mean for our lives, because the ultimate, the ultimate gift that you get from that is your own joy and hope and love and peace. These are fruits that you get as a result of your worship to your creator. Okay, so let's unpack that a little further. I've told I did a sermon one time and looked at it like this. I grew up

a huge George Strait. You know that, Bernie, Yes, So imagine I used to go to these concerts by myself when I was a teenager, and I would sit in the very center of the second row, right in the middle, and just I would go there, and I would camp out the night before to get the tickets, and then I would wait in these ridiculous lines and I would get in at noon. George Strait didn't go on till about eight pm, and I'm there in the building at noon, and I would go there. So imagine this scenario, and

we're going to play this out. Imagine I go in there, do all that, and I get there and there is a camera stand right in front of my seat, and George Strait comes out, and I'm just like, well, this is not what I expected. So I started daydreaming kind of lose my interest in the concert, and what am I going to do? There's a camera right here, George Strait in front of seventy thousand people. He's playing to everyone, and he looks at me and he says, you move

the camera so you could see me. Look to me, focus on me. That's why you came, that's why you're here. So in that scenario, then would George Strait be narcissistic to say that to me? Would he be some evil, creepy guy that is just wanting to get glory from everyone. No, that's actually the most selfless thing he could do. In that scenario, when all these people are there, he looks to me and goes, I'm gonna give you glory by you giving me glory, I will give you hope, I

will give you peace. I will give you unbelievable joy in this concert. Look to me, move all obstacles out of the way. So that's what happens. God does that so that we could be we could share in that glory. He doesn't need any more from us, but he wants to selflessly give it back to us so that we could share in it as adopted kids. That's unbelievable. If you unpack it that way, that's the depth behind what Bernie is saying. God is most glorified in us when

we are most satisfied in Him. So, Brenda, that starts the whole conversation, that starts probably every question we have today. Can you say that, are you satisfied in Him? Because if you are, then you go, God, I'm single. I want somebody. But if that's not in your designs, that's not in your plan for me. Let me just focus on you. Let me just continue to glorify you, regardless of who else is in my life. Okay, that's that

part that's done. Now let's get practical, Brenda. You say, I've been praying for godly man, can you tell me what to do? There's not a singles group in our church? Is that the only church? First question? Yeah? Is it the only church? But also like, surely there's other ministries within that church. Surely there's other kind of hobbies, desires and gifts that God has given you to be able

to serve your community or whatever. Go do those things and just you know, listen to that still small voice that's saying, Hey, there's this orphan care ministry that I'm gonna lay on your heart and you're gonna like start to push into that and you respond one day at a time, you say, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna serve here.

I'm gonna serve here. It could be you know, like some running group, or it could it could be anything that you just listen to that voice and you walk in the spirit in that and then all of a sudden, this dude shows up and he's he's kind of listening to the same spirit, and you guys are all of a sudden kind of walking next to each other, not in order to find each other, but in order to listen to the voice of God and walk in it.

But then you realize you're walking right next to each other, and then it's like, Hey, I have a companion in the work that God has put before us. I think a lot of times these relationship questions can really be just self focused, and relationship be self focused instead of Hey, what if we found somebody that would co labor with us in the work that God puts in front of us. That's that's what it's about, So maybe give that a shot. Brenda.

Start looking around at those opportunities, like what is God put in front of you and then start doing, and then look to your left and right and see who's with you. So good, reach out, serve others. Don't get caught sitting on the couch waiting for your church to provide you with a singles group. Right, all right, next question here, Well we can go to this one. I like, guys, I have no idea what these are about to say, but it says easy question. Hey, my name is Joseph.

I'm fifteen. I live in Port Angelus, Washington. Thank you for helping me get through when I broke my leg. I was listening to your podcast in the hospital. I was wondering if there's a way to make your voice deeper or higher pitched. What kind of exercises are there? Yeah? Ye, God blessed. So fifteen is a time that's kind of the time you start asking me. You're like, hey, man, everyone's got a deep voice, but me, what do I do? Hey Grader? Yeah, yeah, Hey, that's his nature, isn't it? Like?

I don't know at some level, Joseph, if you're the voice pro like just gonna happen. If you're talking about singing, maybe you're talking about singing. That's a little different. But if you're talking about speaking, that's just gonna happen. You. Have you heard yourself in a while. I have listened to you from old tapes, But have you heard yourself talk from twenty five years ago? No, I've listened to you two or five years ago recently, because there's one

on one of your albums. Oh no, is that one where you're out talking? Oh? Yeah, yeah, what's a homeless guy? Yeah? Yeah, So when you listen to yourself twenty years ago, all of us our voices are different. It's almost not even the same person. It's weird. Harrison Ford. I was listening to him talk the other day. That guy's voice is so deep now and it wasn't necessarily like that when he was han solo. Wow, so we change, Joseph, your voice is going to change naturally. The more you use it,

the more that muscle gets stronger. And uh, just don't worry about it. If you're talking about singing, you exercise it. Just like you want to be a runner, you would exercise your legs. If you want to be a singer, you exercise your vocal cords. Oh, look at this one subject line, mark of the Beast. Hey, grangem twenty nine years old, live in Indiana. So we're sitting around a campfire, and I'd like to hear your thoughts on the Mark

of the Beast. Revelations thirteen explains it how the end of times will be near and nobody will be able to buy or sell without worshiping the anti Christ. The number is sixty six six also plays a role in the end times. And it's all a little confusing to me. I'm young. I have a hard time comprehending comprehending revelations with an s on the end. Would love to hear your thoughts. God bless and that is Did he say his name? He just said he's twenty nine. Yeah, email

says jer So we'll call you Jeremy. Jeremy. Okay. It's actually really nice that Bernie's sitting here because he could go a totally different direction. And you're you're open to I'll let it. Let you do whatever you want to do here. This is not my special okay, Okay, Well then we'll just walk through this together. Here's the deal, Jeremy. There was actually was a time when I was in

high school. I was really into this stuff, Like I would get into it, and I would listen to these they left behind, Yeah, like the left behind times that

was around that that era in the nineties. But what I have come to learn over these years, especially the recent years, of really diving into the New Testament, diving into Revelation, diving into Daniel and Isaiah and the different apocalyptic stories, the apocalyptic narratives that we see in the Bible, And what I'm about to say is probably going to make you. Maybe it's going to make some people not want to listen to the podcast anymore because it's boring.

But at a lot of modern day scholars will say that a lot of that stuff that was prophesied in Revelation has already happened, that that Nero was part of that. All this plan when Jerusalem was that the the Israelites revolted in sixty six AD right against the Romans because of the oppression, because they were taxed heavily. It was

it was a terrible environment in the sixties AD. And so the Israelites got together with all these revolutionists and they revolted, and Rome crushed them over the course of four years, and in seventy a d the temple in Jerusalem was demolished, just like Jesus prophesied. The religion was crushed. They built a pagan temple on that mount right there where the where the Jerusalem Temple was, where the Second Temple that Solomon was. They they then kicked everyone out

that wanted to worship the Yahweh God. They they they made it illegal to sacrifice, illegal to obey the Sabbath, illegal to circumcise. Jews were dispersed, It was completely crushed. In fact, there was one more small revolt in one thirty five a d. When that was crushed, Israel no longer was a state. They're gone until crazy nineteen forty three. All this time goes by, right, so two thousand years

go by. Anyway, Most modern day scholars now will say that all this mark of the Beast stuff, all this revelation, end of times, all that stuff that John was talking about the apostle was already fulfilled. And the destruction of the temple, destruction of Israel, the dispersion of the people. That is really boring because so many of us want to just be like, oh, this mark of the Beast, here's it come, here it comes. I remember when they said it was credit cards you know when that first

came out. Now it's all you know, it's the vaccine that was it for a while. And we know this. I could tell you this about the end of times for sure. When Jesus came, the end of times began. Then he ushered in the end of times phase this, this is the last of days. When Jesus came, right, he became the new Covenant, he became the once and for all sacrifice. So no longer that people have to kill lambs and dove and lay them on an altar

and cook them and oxen. Jesus became the once for all sacrifice for all humans that would receive him as their lord and savior. So, Jeremy, if we just focus on that and stop digging into maybe what was six six six market the beast to buy and sell and trade? What if that already happened, and you need to be focused on the savior that made the once and for all sacrifice in the end of times, which is right now that we're living in. People say we're living in

the end of Times. Yeah we are. We always have been for two thousand years. Once again, so boring like this doesn't get any clickbait on a podcast. No, that's not what people want to hear. People want to say. They want me to say, yeah, I heard that President Biden might be the anti Christ. At the end of the world is coming when you lie seventeen yeah, yeah. So I'm sorry that burst some bubbles and that might actually create some people talking and wanting to fight against

me on that. And you're totally welcome to I'm not totally right about this. This is all speculation. No one really knows, but modern scholars really believe that this stuff that John's talking about already happened. I can tell you this for sure. And I'm not talking about the apocalypse and the end war. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about six sixty six. What we need to know

is this, and this is the truth. For thousands of years, people have thought maybe their generation is the last one and that the rapture is coming. If you believe in raptured. There's people that don't believe in rapture. But ninety nine infinite percent chance you will die, Jeremy before any of this happens, and me and Bernie and everyone listening to this podcast will die a human death and not be

raptured because it's not our time. So if that's the odds, if that was a Vegas odds, I would say, if that's my Vegas odds, I'm putting all my bets on Jesus as my savior that I will meet him after an earthly death, and I put my trust in him as the once and for all sacrifice. And I'm not looking to the sky for some crazy apocalypse burning that's gonna happen. Not yet. Yeah, dude, that is impressive. Let me just say, did y'all know that he knew all that?

Like that's I knew you were a history buff, but you're like, you know and once again, and dude, that's impressive. I didn't know that stuff. So Jarre, thank you for putting the question so Gris could enlighten us a little. This podcast is brought to you by Fabric by Gerber Life. You know, sometimes I'm traveling so much with my job and I think to myself, what if I never made it home, would my kids and my wife be okay?

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more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit better Help dot com slash Granger today and get ten percent off your first month. That's Better Help hg LP dot com slash Granger. All right, back to the podcast, diving into another question. If you want to talk to me and Bernie, email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. We'll put it in the queue. We have no notes, nothing in front of us. We're just walking through it like a couple buddies sitting around a campfire. Like that last

question said, I like that. Next question subject says need advice. The email says, Hey Granger, my name is James, I'm eighteen. I'm a senior in high school this year. I emailed you two weeks ago and asked if I should try talking to my ex girlfriend I still had feelings for. Turns out, we both felt the same way. We've talked for about a week and a half, and she told her parents and they pretty much told her that they didn't want her talking to me because they didn't want

it to hurt her again. And we both feel like we've changed. I heard a lot since the last time. She's only seventeen, so I respect her parents, but I also feel like she is old enough to make these kind of decisions. Any advice would be great, thanks again, ye James eighteen A little piece here. You said, I want to respect her parents, but I also feel like she is old enough to make these decisions. Then you don't respect her parents. Start with that. You might want to,

but you don't. You don't really want to. What'd you think? Burns James? James, James. So it's just a couple old guys over here. Okay, you're sitting around the campfire with some old guys, all right, with daughters with daughters, and I grizz has said this many times on this podcast, and every time we get something from somebody fifteen sixteen, seventeen eighteen, I always just think and remember what you say,

just be eighteen. Like, these kind of things can take so much of your time and attention that could be spent on making really good memories with friends and you know, going places, building new friendships. So yeah, apart from her parents, I would be interested to know why the parents don't want her to hang out with you other than like you hurt her before, I guess, and they don't want

her to get hurt again. But you've matured. Yeah, So practically speaking, I would say this, and I've said this before, James, You're to me. Your only card to play is you talk to the dad and you just say you man up. James. You're an eighteen year old. You're old enough to go into the Marine Corps. You're old enough to call on

the phone the dad. I'd say, Sir James, here, I know you're a busy guy, and I don't want to bother you, but I would love to be able to go to lunch with you or coffee and have a discussion with you. Manda man. Now hopefully he says sure, let's do it, and you get together and you say, Sir, I have feelings for your daughter. I would love to be able to Dater. I understand that you have concerns about me, and understand that that's because you love her, and I admire that, and so I do not want

to do anything behind your back. So I wanted to have lunch and maybe to discuss some of your concerns if I could answer any questions. Bottom line is I care about your daughter and I would love to be able to dater and I would like your permission. Yeah, if you can do that, you are going to start to earn some respect from the parents for sure. Yeah, I don't know if you can do that. That's tough for an eighteen year old. I wouldn't have done that at eighteen. Yeah. The only other card you have is

forget her. Forget her dude. Yeah, be eighteen options B eighteen. Next question, interesting subject here, pastor let me down. So my wife and I finally found a church that we love. We were baptized and joined his members two years ago. Church is four years in. We were voted in by six people. Then four of the six have left the church now, including only six members. We recently purchased a

large building and get about sixty five people on average. Sunday, our pastor emailed my wife asking us to become members. We already were. Then he blamed someone else for the mix up and said that it was his fault. We decided to step back and watch online and do our own worship at home as a family. I feel horrible. I've been friends with him and my wife with his but his response also said that we have a responsibility

as members to show up to church. There are other issues we pushed through, but this one has finally pushed us away. I have a feeling we won't be going back. It seems like they're pushing for new members, for money and for a new building. Should we try. They haven't even attempted to contact us. Only one member called me Anonymous Wisconsin. I love how your voice y'all. Notice his voice changes sometimes once he gets halfway into an email

and he starts talking like they may be from Wisconsin. Right, that's the radio show coming out on the podcast? Yeah, I love it, so I think the very end it says, please let me know if you respond. I don't catch all the podcasts. That kind of says something about the personality as well. Yeah right, yeah, yeah, very This is about me getting something kind of consumer focused. I'm not gonna give as much as I'm gonna look to get, right,

is that thing I'm gonna let you go off? This person? Well, I'm the good cop, so I'm not gonna go off as much as Granger will go off. All right, did we get a name? Did we get a name? It's anonymous? Okay, Wisconsin, we'll Wisconsin. I I I'm not going to dismiss your claim because there are a lot of churches out there that just don't have great leadership. They don't have the holy spirit they you know, you know that that's that's true. But I do feel like you're being a little bit

selfish here. I feel like you are kind of getting hung up on maybe some like some response that the pastor had and basically saying we're not going to go back because he responded a certain way, and you're and from there, like a critical spirit can start to be like a cancer, and not just for a community, but in your own mind, like you start to spiral and then you're all of a sudden critical of you know, his wife, and you're critical of why they're having new members.

I think you probably need to check your own heart in this situation. And then next I think you need to probably sit with your wife and the pastor and his wife. You said you guys are friends, y'all need to sit and like sit in the conflict. Guys. Conflict is not something to avoid. It actually can bring clarity and it can make things stronger. So quick side note. I'm running this weekend early early in the morning, still dark out, so I just have a head lamp and

I'm in the woods. I don't know really where I am, and I start to hear a noise, and then all of a sudden, that noise starts to get a little louder, and it's coming towards me. And again it's dark except from my head lamp, and I just hear all of this wrestling. It's kind of getting louder. It's come, and

so I start to get a little scared. I'm not gonna lie, and then all of a sudden, this little bunny rabbit runs across the trail right in front of me, a little cute, little bunny rabbit, and I gotta stop. I was like bunny. I had to catch myself. But then I realized, like it was just a bunny. The point is, whenever we keep things in the dark, a lot of times they can be a lot bigger than we think they are, and in our minds they can be a lot bigger. It may just be a small

little bunny rabbit. If you just sit and talk, be honest, bring some light to the situation. Because once my light saw what it was, it was just a bunny rabbit. Wasn't that big a deal? So Dn, that is so good. That is amazing. Did you think about that that I got scared of a bunny rabbit or did you think of that story in your way here, like I'm gonna find a way to use that coming here here. No, absolutely not, Man, Bernie, that's so good. That's what you

would tell me. If well, I will, I will say that after I started running again, I started analyzing what I just went through, and that's what the thought came to me was, Hey, that thing was so scary when it was in the dark and you didn't know what it was. But once you saw it, you know, there's nothing to be afraid of. Yes, yeah, I think we all that's a good word for all of us right there. So Anonymous Wisconsin, you think this is a country club? A lot of people do. Man, it is church a

country club to you? Or is it a youth select baseball team? And you're mad at the coach? I mean, that's what this email sounds like. It doesn't sound like someone that's that's that's part of a life giving community that shares in a life giving faith that's outward reaching. That doesn't sound like that. It sounds like you're mad at the country club owner because you've been a member at this country club for four years and he just gave your locker away and you're so you're going to

go to another country club. In fact, you're just gonna build your own country club in your own backyard. That's kind of what this sounds like. And I want to kind of read back the scenario to you. You were part of the at that church at the beginning. You joined two years ago and the church is only four years in, so you've been half of the life of the church. You've been there and you're in way before

they had sixty five people in there. And then the pastor is trying to do his due diligence, not defending him, just stating the facts. He's doing his due diligence and reaching out to people members of the congregation. He stumbles upon your name and your wife's name. He reaches out to you and he says, I would like you for you two to become members. Now, let's stop right there. Like we're in a court case right now, we're just we're laying out to the to the jury what's happening here.

The pastor doing due diligence and going down the list of people that have attended the church, and he's trying to get membership from the people, which is a good thing. We want to be members of a body so that we could then help with communication, help help delegate serving, like who's good at the media team, who's good at music, who's good it admissions, Let's delegate. So that's why we need members, and the pastor needs to understand who's a member and who's not. But he reaches out to you

and ladies and gentlemen of the jury. He didn't know you guys very well, y'all aren't very very prominent people in the church because he accidentally called you to ask you to be members and he didn't know you. Yeah, in a church of sixty five people, I bet you dollars to donuts that you are not participating actively in the community. There's no way, no way, you're not serving in probably any capacity. You're not. You're likely not in any kind of small group that is missional in any way.

Otherwise he would look and see your name. Oh, they shouldn't be on this list. Just talk to them yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. So this this is a huge problem with the corporate church in the West. Yeah, consumer consumer based. Yeah, we are just going to like you said, it's a country club. It's another thing that it's an affiliation, but it misses completely misses the biblical intention of the church. So yeah, it's like mister and missus anonymous. Oh, of course they're members.

I just talked to them on Wednesday at the whatever. So the appropriate response from you could have been, hey, pastor, this is this is actually a little embarrassing, but we actually are members, and we just haven't been very active. That's why. That's why our names came up and you didn't recognize us. But we need to be held accountable. We need to we need to be more, be there for you more. And so I'm sorry that there's this embarrassing mix up. But instead your response was instead, man,

forget it, We're just gonna go online. The pastor didn't even know us. How dare he not even know us? That guy's got a lot on his mind. Once again, I'm not defending him. Like Bernie said, they're are corrupt pastors. Of course, I'm not defending him. I'm just laying out the facts for the jury here. You don't have a very good case to convince Bernie and I that you're really good standing members of this small body church here. Well, and for your own just for your own spiritual growth

and maturity and connectedness to a community. If you're gonna have those things. And this is for anybody, include me and Granger, Like, we are going to have to be people of grace and patience. I don't know why, as believers in Jesus who came and displayed perfectly God's grace unmerited favor, Like we should be a people more than anybody on the face of the earth that sees somebody doing something that doesn't deserve our favor or our grace.

And we were like looking for areas to be like, oh, hey, I forgive you, It's all good, it's all good, Like let's give grace instead. A lot of times we can just become very critical and judgmental. But it's the opposite of the Gospel. So this is true probably for your marriage, any relationships that you're in. We just need to be people that are full of grace, full of patience, and full of forgiveness. Yea one hundred percent. If it's going

to be a healthy relationship, a healthy community, a healthy tchaper. Yeah, yeah, let's let's play. Devil's advocates say this pastor should have known you, then you could also respond in a way that says, pastor, buddy, we just saw you Sunday. We are members. You've got a lot on your plate. How could I help serve you to take some of this this membership status stuff off your plate. We would love to help serve you in that way. One more thing here, you say at the end, I have a feeling we

won't be going back. It seems like they're pushing for new members for money for the new building. Okay, let's take just that. Imagine being a pastor. I'm not, Bernie's not, You're not. There's pastors listening. Is that wrong? Is that wrong for him to be seeking more of his of his flock and a better building for his flock. I don't think that's there's nothing wrong. I mean, as long

as it doesn't become as idol. And that's what he's worried about, and that's he's he wasting all this energy and it's not shepherding the current flock that he has. I understand. But we can't look at that as a bad thing, that he wants a bigger, better building for everyone, with better facilities. As long as he's content. You understand the balance here. But this is another issue that you can come forward and say, pastor, we feel like there is a lot of effort going into new people so

that we could have a new building. How could we help you shepherd the current people so that they don't feel forgotten, so that they don't feel lost. Me and my wife would love to be able to do that and to cultivate what's already here, Like these are ways that you could serve forward instead of recoiling back and saying, you know what, I got to feel in this one

just pushed us away for good. Yeah, we could go on this one for a while, but yeah, you gotta check yourself, I think, and we all need to, you know, where we're kind of at with those kind of relationships. Let's hit another one. We don't have a lot of time in this break, but we could hit one more. Here says dating on deployment. Hey granger, I'm currently deployed overseas with the Army, and me and this girl started

a relationship right before I left. I put the situation in plain text before I left, and she felt confident that we could do it. We're two months in now and she's having doubts. We've been friends for four years now I'm scared a loser? What do I do? Love the podcast, Thanks for the advice. PS. Saw you in North Lawrence, Ohio for country Fest. Christopher, first of all, thanks for your service. Appreciate you emailing and listening and being a fan of music. What we got for this guy? Burns?

He's I mean, and then like the first rule of deployment, like, don't start a relationship right before you know you're gonna get deployed. Yeah, I mean, thank you for your service, Like, don't think only me missed that, but I you know, I guess it's neither here nor there. He's in the situation he's in. But yes, so the people that are not in this city situation, let's make that a unwritten rule. Probably don't get into a relationship right before you leave.

But if you do, like Chris, let's talk about it. He said, I put my situation in plain text before I left, and she felt confident that we could do it. But here's here's the deal. Until you're in it, you don't know. You can feel confident like I think I can. But until that, you know, the six months goes by, the seven months and she's still hasn't seen you, then you don't know how she's going to react. That's a good point. Ask me right now, if I could climb

Mount Everest, Yeah, can you climb out? Every dude? You know I could, bro I'll do it. You want to go tomorrow? Yeah? Right, I promise you. I get half a day in and I'm stopping. Yeah. But if whenever you're not in it, you're over confident, you're like, of course we can fight, do anything. Let's go. So let's let's wrap this up by saying, practically, what could he do to not lose her? That's what he's worried about. Ultimately, there've been friends and he doesn't want to lose her.

I can tell you how. Let's first of all, say how you can lose her. Here's how you can lose her by smothering or by saying, please, I don't want to lose you. Please? What can I do? Please? Please? You better not be Are you seeing somebody else? Is this about another guy? Hey? Why didn't you pick up your face time at three o'clock? You you missed? You're seeing something? You know? Like, that's the way loser. The way to not lose her, I think is by saying I get it. It's hard to know ahead of time

what a deployment would be like. So I really care about you and I really feel like I could do it. But if you can't, I would suggest we hit the brakes a little bit back away. Let's I'll give you some space. If you need me, you know where to find me. I think another thing you could do is I'm guessing there's other folks that you're deployed with that maybe are deeper into a relationship and maybe have been through a deployment and figured out how to do that,

and maybe ask their advice, ask them the situation. They'll be able to, you know, give you some advice. It's very different than you know, me and Gris, but yeah, maybe ask them and they may say, yeah, dude, you probably if you're just this much in and you're already feeling this, you probably need to give her the space and you know, do a granger set. But maybe they'll have something else for you. I don't know. Appreciate you, Chris and all of y'all. Thanks for listening. We'll see

you next Monday. GigE, thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys, you could help me out by rating this podcasts on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Ye