Sometimes we think when the wind blows outside that it's a bad thing. Oh man, it's windy today. Hey, I like it when it's a windy day, stirring things. It's knocking those dead branches way at the top of the tree, it's knocking that stuff out. It's cleaning things up a little bit. While that dust on the sidewalk, it's blowing it off. It's cleaning it up a little bit. It's good to have a stirring in your life. I think you're going through a stirring season, and I would lean
into it and not run away from it. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the podcast, episode one seventy three. Thanks for watching and listening wherever you're coming from, whatever platform, wherever in the world you are. I'm just glad you're here. I'm glad to do this. I answer your questions. You email me You're Smith podcast at gmail dot com, and I can answer it the best I can. No notes in front of me. I'm not prepared, I don't have a book ready, I don't have some kind of system
that I'm working with here. I'm just talking like we're just two friends and you just say, hey, can I run something by you, And I'm not always right when I give you an answer, but I'm going to give it to you the best I know how as if we're in the cab of a truck and you got a question, and I would assume that you would deliver the same kind of answer back to me if I had a question for you. Okay, let's get to the first email. There is no order, there is no system.
I'm running with here. Subject line of this first one says girlfriend wants to sleep in separate bedrooms. Hey Granger, I'm a new twenty twenty three listener here and one that needs your help. My girlfriend, aged twenty one, and I, age twenty five, have been dating for about two years. I live in South Carolina. She moved down in May twenty twenty two after her graduation and moved in with me.
All has been well since. Over the past few weeks, I've been taking strides to reconnect with God with her support. Went to kindergarten through eighth grade in Christian school, but I fell out of touch. We agreed to start sleeping in separate bedrooms out of an effort to preserve our relationship for marriage and stay true to God's message to
the extent that we can going forward. This was a mutual decision, but one that she suggested based on my religious childhood recent reintroduction, and I see her point and I agreed. We plan to reevaluate at the end of the month and assess if this concept is one that we should continue our relationship as a whole as in a good spot. But as the days take by, I'm
having doubts to how this ends. We love each other and we intend to take the next step in marriage, but I cannot picture us living together and sleeping in separate bedrooms until that point. Is someone moving out but the relationship is maintained? Let me read that question again. Is someone moving out but the relationship is maintained? Question mark? If you were me, what would you do and what would the next step be? Dig at me? Hope this
you read this message. God bless Jordan. All Right, Jordan, thanks for kicking off the podcast today. Let me recap for my own brain. Here. You are twenty five, she's twenty one. You've been dating for two years and you, guys, when did you start living together? That's what I'm looking for here. For the past few weeks been taken tried
to reconnect. So okay, okay after her graduation. So you've been dating for two years, and I'm gonna guess that you've been living together for about a year, and then these past few weeks, you've been sleeping in separate bedrooms, according to your words, in an effort to preserve our relationship for marriage and stay true to God's message to the extent that we can't we can going forward. Okay, got it. We're gonna walk through this together, Jordan. Like
we're in the cab of a truck. We're driving down a county road and you say, man, let me run something by you. That's how I'm gonna That's how I gonna answer this, and that's how I'm gonna that's how I'm gonna tell you. And as you said, dig at me, so let me dig. The first question I have to you, hypothetically is you say we love each other and intend to take the next step in marriage. Okay, My first
question is, what's the hold up? You're you're a good age, you're twenty five, you're a quarter of a century old, you are in love, you've been dating for two years. What's the hold up? Like, that's what I'm asking you at the cab of the trucks the first question, what are you doing? Bro? What? Like? What's taken so long? What are you waiting on? You're waiting on. The excuse is that the world's gonna tell you, no, we need to save up a little bit more money. I'm waiting
on this new job. She's waiting to finish up nursing school. We're gonna, you know, there's like all these we're gonna waiting to pay the car off, like these are all these Oh okay, here's the worst. We're waiting for the wedding venue of her dreams to open up and they don't have an availability until October of two years from now. Are waiting to make her wedding dress? It takes eighteen months to sew it. I mean, this is the girl that's dumb. Those are dumb reasons. I get it, though,
you know, I'm mean, I live in this world. I get it. But I'm just saying, if you just take a step back and you just look at the whole picture, like those are dumb reasons. But even further than that, you're not even engaged yet, So why why have you not even asked her? Why is this not your fiance, Jordan. I'm digging at you, man, what's up with that? Do you have a dumb excuse? Probably right, you're gonna tell
me a dumb excuse, aren't you? Okay, second thing, for first of all, and let's also say that just long engagements are just ridiculous. You've been dating two years, you love her, You're gonna get married. Why a long engagement? You know? I mean, all these problems are solved if you're just like, hey, let's go to the courthouse. And know there's people listening to this podcast just screaming at me like no, that's the quickest way to divorce, just go to the courthouse. But really, I mean, love is
a decision. We're not gonna we're not gonna sit there and have these butterflies the rest of our life. At some point we're gonna go, Okay, I'm deciding I love this girl, I'm attracted to her, I love her family, name a bunch of other reasons. Whatever I decide to make her my wife. I'm deciding that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with her, and I'm deciding that I'm gonna make a commitment I'm gonna give her
my word. I'm gonna make a commitment through sickness and in health and all the other things that they say at the altar. I'm gonna decide with my brain to make this commitment and I'm kno going to back out of it. Instead of the alternative is I'm just going with the flow. I'm just going with my gut, going with going my feelings, following following my dreams. That's Hollywood. You we make a decision, we make a decision to
love and be committed to it. There's there's a deep emotion that attracts us and that opens our eyes to it, and then once we see it, we go, Man, I'm in love and this girl checks the boxes that I need and and I want to pour myself into her right like, it's it's time for me to open up and serve her, and I'll make that decision to serve her. That's that's it. I mean, we're overthinking everything else. So now let's get into your dating. And you're living with
her and you're sleeping in separate bedrooms. Why are you doing that? Let me guess you're trying to save money, trying to save on some rent, you got tired of driving across town to drop her off. You were sleeping in the same bedroom. Now you're deciding to reconnect with God. So it's just more convenient just to go into the next bedroom instead of go and get another apartment. Man,
I'm totally with you. I'm human just like you, and I hear I hear those kinds of excuses ringing in my own ears, and it's like, yeah, part of me goes, Yeah, that makes that makes sense. But we're not talking about part of me here, right, We're talking about what's right.
So what worries me about this whole thing that we've talked about is that you are thinking it's not gonna work out in the long term for some reason because of this, as if, as if the marriage was hinging on this little time when you're sleeping in separate bedrooms. You say, our relationship as a whole is in a good spot. But as the days tick by, I'm having
doubts how this ends. What does that mean? We love each other and intend to take our next step in marriage, but I cannot picture living us living together and sleeping in separate bedrooms until that point. Why two questions? Two questions very simply. First question is, then why are you going to wait? I understand you love this girl and you want a jumper. Okay, then go to the courthouse. Why are you waiting so long? What? Where's the ring?
Where's the proposal? Where there is the quick engagement that solves this problem for you? You see the problem solved. Second question, if something is stopping you from getting married right now, do you think that it's going to prevent you from marrying this girl, a girl that you say you love, spend the rest of your life with, and it's it's going to be ruined for these next few months because you can't go get it on with her in the next room. You hear how that sounds. You
hear how ridiculous that sounds. Is she not worth it to you? Is your manly instinct more important to you than her dignity, her respect, her honor, a true selfless love for her as you your your selfish, selfish, manly desire, fleshly desire. Is that more important to you than honoring her giving her this gift for the rest of her life? So you could say, I honor you, I honor God, and my love for you over just sex right now, the same sex that we'll actually have when we're married.
That is that what you're saying. It is what you're saying. I'm acting very nice on this podcast, but that's what you're saying. You're saying, I love her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I honor God. But I don't think I could go I can go very much longer with that having sex with her. So I just don't think this whole thing is going to work out. Might have to find another girlfriend, one that just lets me do whatever I want. Because when I want to get it on, I want to get it on.
That's what's happening here, man. And so because because I'm trying to give you some I'm trying to give you the best tough love I can as a friend, and I would hope that you would give me the same thing back, because sometimes when you're in a situation, we can't see it. When we're on the outside, it's really easy to see. And I set off set a lot. Let's move on to another question. Subject line This next one says career advice. Email says, Hey, Granger, love the podcast.
It's helped me a lot I'm Nathan from southern Illinois. I have a question about how to get started in a career. So I want to be a conservation officer slash game warden. I've been a while, I have a wildlife management degree. I've been outdoors my whole life. Wildlife is my passion. I don't know where to start, though I've contacted my local conservation officers. The hardest part is that there are fifty states and I don't know what to research or how to do, so that's just so
many possibilities. My family is not big on talking about my personal emotional things, and they're not very supportive. On top of that, I'm trying to build my relationship with God and Christ and making that better, although I'm struggling with dealing with being single. So all three problems are making this very difficult. I just like some advice from a Christian standpoint. Sorry for being a three part question. Thanks for everything. I appreciate it, ye, Nathan, I was
when I read these questions. Y'all. I'm reading it for the first time as you're hearing it for the first time, so I'm processing what i'm hearing just like you are on the podcast and I'm like, has the question got more complex? I'm like, man, I thought those were just career advice, and it's deeper. We've got family involved, now I've got faith involved. Now let me back up and
go to the second two questions. Okay, your first one's dealing with it being a conservation officer game warden, and then the second part starts into this whole My family's not big on talking about personal emotional things and they're not very supportive. Your third question is I'm trying to build my relationship with God and make that better. And then kind of a fourth question that you didn't mention is you say it and I'm struggling with dealing with
being single. So there's really four things going on here, and I don't think like the family thing that's just gonna come with the confidence of you dealing with these other things. Okay, your family not being not talking about emotional things and being portive and you being a game warden. Is I'm gonna make that irrelevant to this conversation because you're gonna do this no matter what. You don't need their emotional and verbal support. You don't need that unless
you're six years old. You're not the struggling with being single part. Okay, I'm gonna put I'm gonna put that in the category of the game warden thing too, and I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say, let's nail down this job thing because we got to We can't deal with the single thing first until we get the job thing figured out, because this is gonna give you a lot of confidence as you start stepping into your own into this field. Okay. And then lastly, the fourth thing, and
the most important thing is your relationship with God. And that's kind of came out of this email, just completely out of the blue. On top of that, I'm trying to build my relationship with God and Christ better. That's exactly what you typed. I don't know how many episodes in a row I've gone down this same route, and I'll do it again. When someone says to me, I'm trying to build this namely faith or as you say, relationship with God, I need some advice on how to
do that. Typically every Monday, every podcast I reference this, I say this, replace that word faith or God. In your case, it's God building a relationship. Replace that with anything else in life. For instance, Granger I'm trying to build a rock wall in my backyard. Can you help me with this? Right? All we did was change rock wall for relationship with God. I would say, what are you doing? Tell me first, let's get it. Let's get a base level here, right. What are you doing first
with this rock wall? Granger? I'm trying to build a rock wall in my backyard and I need some advice. You say, I'm trying to build. You didn't say eventually I want to build, or tomorrow I'm going to start building. You say, I'm currently. That's what that word trying means. I'm trying to build a relationship with God. Change that. I'm trying to build a rock wall in my backyard. Can you give me some advice? I say, tell me your base level. What are you doing right now? You say, well, first,
I'm collecting the appropriate sized rocks, am my good? Okay. Then I'm gonna stack the rocks in order of how they're going to stack on the wall themselves. Cool. Then I'm gonna measure the the height that I want to go to and do some quick math to make sure I have enough rocks. Cool. Then I am going to set the ground level and make sure we're level and before I start bringing in the mortar, cool, like that would be a normal conversation. And I go, okay, here's
now here's a little thing on the mortar thing. I want to make sure that you get a good water mix before you start mixing that mud. And do you have a wheelbarrow? Are you just doing this in a bucket? Are you gonna do it in the dirt? Right? This is be a normal conversation on advice on how to build a rock wall. You tracking, what if you said that? What if it went this way? Hey Granger, I'm trying to build a rock wall in my backyard and need some advice and I and I say, cool, tell me
base level. What are you doing? And you go, I mean nothing, really not really doing anything. I say, okay, well that is a base level. You're not doing anything, Like do you have a shovel? Like, yeah, I've got a shovel. I haven't picked up in a long time. I think it's in the garage. I'm like, okay, do you have rocks And you're like, I'm pretty sure my grandpa used to have rocks, and so I'm pretty sure that most of them are still out there. I'm like, okay,
what about willbarrow? I to be honest, Granger, I've never really used a willbarrow. I there might be one behind the shed, but even if there was, it probably has a flat tire. Right, Okay, so that'd be a normal conversation. Let's switch it to God and answer your God question. And in the same way, Granger, here's your exact question. I'm trying to build my relationship with God. What is some advice? So then I say what are you doing?
I'll start there, and ultimately, the beginning of that should always start with Instead of rocks, it starts with surrender. I've come to a point of complete surrender. God. I need you, I need your help. I'm hungry to learn more about you. There's something missing in me, and I hear on this podcast that there is an answer with you, and I want you to show that to me. I'm gonna give up trying everything else around me. Worldly, I'm gonna completely open my hands, open my palms upward, and
say come into my life and just re rework everything. Right. That's a good start. And then I say, okay, great, do you have a Bible? And you're like, yeah, I think so. It's out in the ground, it's dusty, and I say, let's get a reading plan going. It's got a solid reading plan where you're waking up in the morning every day and you're getting up early and you're opening up that Bible and you're getting a hot cup of coffee before the sun comes up, and you go, Hey,
here we go. This is where I left off from yesterday. Here I'm coming on to Matthew chapter three. I read two yesterday. I'm gonna read three today and I read four tomorrow, and I'm gonna really start working through this and reading. And if I don't understand it, I'm gonna google something or I'm gonna YouTube something to try to understand it better. And then I'm gonna get plugged in with a local church. Do you have a local church. Grandpa used to go to one, but I'm not sure
where it is. Maybe maybe I could go and figure it out and see what Grandpa did there, and get plugged in and maybe meet the pastor and just be vulnerable and just tell them, Hey, I'm Nathan from southern Illinois and I'm just not really used to going to church and this is all new to me. But I'm hungry for it and I'd like to start learning. Can you tell me where to start? And the Pastor's like absolutely,
what are you interested in? And let's get you plugged in and let me introduce you to a couple of people and services at nine am on Sunday. You think you can come and you're like, yeah, do I have to get dressed up? And he's like, no, man, you just come. Come in your boots and your jeans. I'd be just fine and bring that. You got a Bible and you're like, yeah, I actually I just dusted it off. I started to reading. I'm in Matthew three and he's like, great,
bring it with you. I'll talk about it. And he's like you might have to pray with you real quick. And you're like, yeah, yeah, I'd like that very much. Does that sound Does that sound right to you? That seems I mean, it's not complicated. It's like building a brick wall. What do you do you start with the rocks? Building anything? On a less important matter, the game warden thing.
Could I just point out that it sounds like you have other things that are distracting you from jumping into something like this, the family issue, the god issue, to being single and not content issue is kind of bleeding over into the search and for the new job issue. And it sounds like you're in a season of restlessness right now. There's just kind of there's a stirring going on within you. And I don't think that's a bad thing. Sometimes we think when the wind blows outside that it's
a bad thing. Oh man, it's windy today. Hey, I like it when it's a windy day stirring things. It's knocking those dead branches way at the top of the tree, it's knocking that stuff out. It's cleaning things up a little bit. While that dust on the sidewalk, it's blown it off, cleaning it up a little bit. It's good to have a stirring in your life. I think you're going through a stirring season and I would lean into it and not run away from it. Does that make sense.
I think when you get some of the stuff figured out, and you get plugged in, and you get the dust knocked off of that Bible and you go meet that pastor, I think this game warden thing is gonna start becoming a little more clear for you. Let's take a break, be right back Podcast Today's brought to you guys by Omaha Steaks. If you're ever looking for a unique gift, idea, something that actually matters, something that you could actually get satisfaction in. And I'm talking about that kind of gift
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wide at cozyearth dot com. Back to the podcast, Okay, welcome back, diving back into these questions, just rocking it. If you have a question for me, email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Could be about any subject. I ask that you don't make it longer than like a phone link, and that you don't send the same email twice it just gets deleted. Nothing than that free reign. Ask me anything you want. Could be about any subject. Here's one right now. Subject line says songwriting. Hey Granger,
I live in Chilliwack, British Columbia. I've been a huge fan of your music for years. I don't have a favorite song of yours because I love so many of them. I've been thinking about writing my own music, but I'm not sure where to start. Could you help me. I would have really appreciated. This comes from Lincoln. He's fifteen years old. Lincoln, thank you brother. Okay, Yeah, the first thing in songwriting that I would say the first piece
of advice is learn an instrument, piano, guitar. I say that twenty twenty three is probably the best time ever in the history of musical instruments. This is the best time to learn one. Because of this, this such a wide vast accessibility of lessons for free on the internet. I mean, you can learn how to play guitar from TikTok. You can learn how to play guitar easily from YouTube,
or same with piano, and it's all free. You gotta skip through a couple ads every once in a while, but it's free other than that, and it's just a really good time to go down to your local music store or Facebook marketplace or Craigslist or a pawnshop or whatever, or your grandmother like I did, and get a little guitar, get a little keyboard, head some headphones. When you start learning an instrument, that will open up the world of songwriting.
Do that first, learn your way around chords and progressions, play your favorite songs on the radio. Play your favorite songs wherever you love to hear them and learn them well, learn to sing along with them, and that is the first step in understanding the craft of songwriting itself. Next email, there is no subject, and the question says, Hey, Grangeer, I just discovered your podcast a small while ago find it very inspiring. My name is Trudy. I'm nineteen and engaged,
and I work in a bakery. I don't feel passionate about my work and I have a hard time getting up and going to work in the morning. I was a high school dropout and my dream is to have a job that I feel passionate about. I've applied it several places and none have contacted me, even though it's been several months. Do you have any advice on how to obtain a job that I would like despite me not having graduated. Look look forward to maybe hearing from you.
Thanks all right, Trudy, thank you for the email, and thanks for recently discovering the podcast. This high school dropout thing, it's the thing in the past for you. It's not it's not a it's not a roadblock, it's not a hindrance to you. There's a couple of ways to look at it. One it sounds like it sounds like you are mentally held back by this being a dropout thing.
I would I would counsel you if we're friends, to say, and we are friends, by the way, to say, because of that obstacle in your mind, because you're not because you're not coming across in this email saying look, I didn't finish high school, but that doesn't matter because I'm
doing this, this, this, this, this, that's not you. Because that, I would say, you're going to pursue a ged online, You're going to get that diploma online, and you're going to continue to work in the bakery while you do it. You have a good job. A lot of people don't have a good job. This is this is a secure thing. You might not be passionate about it, but that's okay.
Careers are kind of like relationships in twenty twenty three as far as when we see things on social media and we see influencers talking, and we watch movies and we just we see this idea that that there's glamour in our career and our career defines us like we are what we do and so we should live our dreams out and live it vibrantly, because when we do that, everyone around us will be like, Wow, that person lives vibrantly, they have a vibrant job job. They must be a crazy, vibrant,
crazy person. Wow, so much mad respect for that person. And it's all just a mirage. What we do is not who we are. I don't have to say too that being a baker is not a bad thing. There are some very glamorous bakers out there right Like, being a baker could be a very well respected job. But that's not your point. You're not passionate about it. My point is you don't have to be passionate about your job to be a passionate person about life. You don't have to be a passionate person about your job to
be a passionate person about your life. You just don't. It's about doing things with excellence. I tell my kids this all the time. Guys, do things with excellence everything you do. What if everything that you did from when you wake up to when you go to bed was done with perfection, with excellence, like from brushing your teeth to making your bed to taking your shirt off of your hanger in your closet, and when the hanger pops back up and kind of loops back over the other hanger.
You stop and you fix it, and you correct it and you line it up. I'm not talking about weird ocd, obsessive compulsive. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about doing things with excellence so that you could take pride in those things. And being a baker is a really good example of going in in the morning and you got your apron on and you got your workspace completely
clean in the morning. There's like little crumbs on there, maybe from yesterday, and you clean it off and you make that table nice and perfect, and you get everything.
You get your dough all lined up, and you go to your oven and there's like smudges, there's finger smudges on the buttons of the oven, and you get you get a rag and you get that all wiped off and it's just like perfectly crystal clean on the on the dashboard of the oven right, and you get the lights just right, and you get your workspace just perfectly
set up. There's there's something there's a piece of trash crumpled up from somebody else on the floor, and you make your way to it and you take that trash and you put it in the garbage. And when you go to the garbage it's overflowing a little bit. Too many people have stacked up garbage and there's overflowing. And you take that bag, you wrap it up, tie nod in it, take it out to the alley, throw it in the dumpster, come back in and get a fresh bag, and you put it in and it kind of wrinkles
up on the side. Then you stop and you pause and you push those wrinkles down, pull the lid over, Slide the trash can over, back to the wall. Go back to your workspace. Little crumb has now floated over there. You brush it off. You guys might think I'm crazy. You think I'm crazy, But if you've never tried this, trying to live in excellence, if you've never tried this,
that does something to you. And I'm preaching to myself too, guys like live I don't live life like this, But when I think about it and I try to be present in the moment, it's going to really help you to go. You know what, I'm not passionate about being in a bakery until I started taking pride of being in the bakery and I started treating every moment with excellence in the bakery, and it changed me, and it changed the way the perception around me was. And my
boss quickly noticed it. And it just spills over into everything in your life. And then you get you go outside and you get into your car and there's stuff on your floorboard, and you clean it up. Stop at the gas station, throw it in the trash right there,
wipe off your dashboard. I'm telling y'all that living a life like a monk or a navy seal or an army general, if you try that, It's crazy how you could take something that could be mundane, like working in a bakery, and all of a sudden becomes something that's a work of art. Living life like an artist like a work of art. I went way too long on this, but I think it's important for a lot of things. And meanwhile, while you're doing that, okay, you're you're going
home and online, you're pursuing a GED. You might not even use that get you're a high school dropout until you get that GED, and then you could erase that. If anyone else is that's listening, that's no big deal. But it's a big deal to Trudy. Trudy brought it up. That's why I'm dealing with it. Okay, if it's not a big deal to you, and you're in a high school dropout, no sweat. But it's a big deal of Trudy. So I want to help wipe that slate clean so that Trudy could then move on and go. I'm no
longer a high school dropout. I'm now a ged graduate and I also work at a bakery and I'm starting to really love it. Let's take another question. Hey, Grangdeer, I'm a listener from Virginia. I love how I love how you talk on this podcast. How do you know God is talking to you because I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life and I have no clue what to do. I'm a I'm a college student taking general education. Have you talked about this before?
What does your advice? Have a good day. Let me go back to this. This comes from Patrick and it says Patrick's from Virginia and his question is, how do you know God is talking to you? Because I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life and I have no clue what to do. I'm a college student taking general education. All right. First of all, Patrick, it's not You're not in a weird position. You're not alone.
You're early on in college taking general ed. In my school we call it general studies, and you don't know what you want to do with life. Okay, Then that means you're normal. That means you're a normal college student. Because if any college student tells me right now, hey, I'm a freshman in college and I'm one thousand percent this is what I'm going to do this field, I'm like, well, that's rare. That's interesting that you say that, and that's rare.
So Patrick, you're normal. So no worries there. I do think you don't need to ask me. How do you know God is talking to you Because you're trying to figure out what to do with your life. That's not you're over way over spiritualizing something. That's just you just need to grow up. And I don't mean that in a bad way. You just need to let some years need to go buy, some experiences need to happen to you,
and you'll meet some people that you're passionate about. You'll see what they do and you'll go, Wow, I've never even knew this kind of job existed until I met so and so that was a friend of so and so, and then I saw what they did, and it's a really cool thing, and it's a really cool job, and that interests me, and I can get that kind of I could pursue that kind of degree. And like those are things, it just happened in life. It just happens. And you don't have to sit here and go, how
do you know God's talking to you? So we could tell me what job to take and what major to pursue in college. Instead of worrying about how God is talking to you, I can tell you this. Did you know that God wrote a book. It's called the Bible. It's inspired Every word is inspired by God himself, through sixty six different books, through over forty different authors, through thousands of years of time. A massive redemption story that God wove like a beautiful tapestry, and through that his
active word he speaks. He spoke life. He could tews to speak life, and when we read it, we could know what God is saying. That's crazy, but it also directly answers your question, how do you know that God is talking to you? I know personally when I open up my Bible. That's how I know for sure. Next question, subject CLIENTE says girl issues. Hey Granger, I am from Wyoming and I recently moved to Utah for school. I met these two awesome girls, and since I like them both,
I know that sounds bad. I text both of them daily and I find myself laughing at both their text I've taken both of them on dates, and I have fun with both of them. I know it's not fair to them to keep doing this. Do you have any advice on what to do? Thanks? Question comes from Brennan from Wyoming, a new transplant to Utah dating two girls simultaneously. Brennan, you crazy man, you wild man. Okay, me and you ride in the cab of a truck. You bring this up, Pey, Granger,
got a problem. I like two girls equally. I text both of them, I date both of them. We have fun, and so right now you just tell me that I'm like, Well, Brennan, so far, there's not a problem. Shocking. I know that might be shocking to some of y'all. It's not a problem until you start taking it to the next level. Now, there's no problem with a guy going out and meeting girls and engaging with them and laughing with them and
learning the opposite sex. In some sense, the problem is when you start getting intimate, maybe you kiss one of them, maybe you say some things to one of them, like I really like you. I could see this going someplace. I want to be exclusive with you. I could tell you things that I can't tell other people, all the silly things that get said during infatuation moments. When that begins, that's a problem. I don't know necessarily if this has
happened yet. Something tells me it hasn't yet. All you've said is you like them both, you text them both daily, you laugh at both of them, and you've taken them both on dates. What it does mean, here's what it does mean. I'm just like process of elimination from the little information that I know. What it does mean is that neither one of them are grabbing your attention enough to block out the other one, and you got to
admit one of them should. Right, If you're in a situation where you like two girls at the same time, and you text both of them, and you're dating both of them, and you're wondering which one to go with the answer is always neither, because neither one of them are gaining your attention enough to block out the other one, meaning neither of them are good enough. But it could develop over time with one if you have an honest conversation. So it's gonna come down to an honest conversation whenever
it starts increasing. You don't have to do it now. It's just only when this starts to get to the level of intimacy or saying saying nice little sweet things late at night on the telephone. When it gets to that point, it's like, uh, oh, I need to be completely clear and say, I'm also seeing another girl named Sarah and we're kind of we've been on a couple of dates and I text her too. I don't think that's gonna go over too well. I'm just saying. And if you think it's not going to go over too well,
that's a red flag that you've gone too far. If you can confidently say I've been seeing this girl kind of going out and uh, I text her too, same as I do with you, If you could say that in some kind of situation where there's when they're like, oh cool, well, actually okay, Okay, here's I just thought of this. Here's another example. If you say that in a casual setting and they say, oh, yeah, well there's
this guy named Mark. I actually have been kind of seeing this guy named Mark too and texting and so yeah, no big deal. How does that make you feel? That's a that's a good test if you're if you're like, start burning up inside, You're like, who's Mark? What do you mean Mark? That there's a problem. What if both of them did? What if does one of them? Would one of them have that effect on you and not the other one? Like if one of them was seeing Mark and messaged you about that, would you be more
mad than you would with the other one? Or is it equal? Regardless? Buddy, this is just this is heading.
This is heading to a very messy place. It might not be there yet, but it could be heading towards a messy situation unless right now you start opening up, or your other option is cut it off with one immediately, Like you go to the one and you say, I need to tell you that I actually started dating a girl and it's only fair to her and you that I don't text you anymore because I think it's inappropriate
to be dating a girl and texting another one. It's not an easy thing, but you've kind of gotten yourself in a little bit sticky situation, and I think I just want to say again that I think generally speaking, it's not a bad idea that you got here. You just need to know where this is going. You're driving your car potentially towards a bridge that is out and so it's it's going to be time to take the detour.
But you don't want to get to the point when the road to the detour is no longer available and you have to hit the bridge. Okay, so right now you see a potential problem. It's time to get old maps out here and reroute. Okay. I appreciate you guys, and if you have any edit question for me, email me Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com and we'll see you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me
out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me, that you would like me to answer. Email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye Ge