#168 How to Find Power in Sickness

got Bernie here. This is the last show of twenty twenty two, all right, and then you're going to be back next week for the first show of twenty twenty three. Can you believe that? Let's do it. Man, I'm glad to be back. You're the most long lasting guest. Yeah. So congratulations on the movie premiere, on the new record premiere, Moonrise, Dude, it's so good. Some of your best work for sure. But at the movie premiere, we were so lucky to

get to come and hang out with you guys. And like, there was a couple of your fans that spotted me it said, hey, can we take a picture with you? Bertie? We know you from the podcast, and I was like, wait, you want to take a picture with me? So thank you guys. If y'all were there, and y'all wanted to take a picture with me. That really meant a lot, and they said, when are you coming back on? And so we made it happen. We made it happen. And that reminds me that we need to do a live

podcast one of these days. Just pick a location and invite people and they can come and they can ask questions live, we'll record it. Love it, Hey, comment below if that's something you want to see, or if you if you're in a format where you can comment, like YouTube, let me know, send me a message if that's something you would like to attend. It's a live podcast. We'll bring in Chad, We'll bring in Parker. Yeah, te and coming if you think it would be awesome or a

train wreck, yeah, and Tyler. We've got to bring Tyler to He'll help that. He'll help that, He'll not be a train wreck. Yeah. It would be a blast, especially you get all those guys together. It'd be fun. Yeah. So on the on the format of this podcast, if you're new to it, we answer your questions. You email me Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, and we get

to it. We put it in the queue, we walk through it just like we're just friends talking about something, something you're struggling with, something you're excited about, something you're questioning, something you're skeptical about, anything that we might have like

on a fireside chat. We'll walk through it. And I love it in a podcast form because, like you mentioned, I've been doing this movie release, and when I'm doing that, I'm doing all these media hits and it's like I'm going on live on at you know, Fox Atlanta Morning News, and it's like thirty seconds, you know, And I got thirty seconds to answer a question. So I loved the podcast that I could slow down and we could take an hour. Yeah, but let's get right into it. The

inbox here. First question that pops up, Subjecline says, my health is ruining everything. Hi Granger, my name is Bianca. I'm twenty seven from New Zealand. Big fan of your music and the Smith's and the podcast. Anyway, one day when I was eighteen, I woke up with extreme pelvic pain. My primary doctor ran every test he could to rule out the nasty things and then referred me to a gynecologist. So within a year from pain onset, I was diagnosed

with endometriosis. Then I've been diagnosed with many other illnesses they but the pain has managed to control my life in every aspect. But it's not just a pain. Between the medication and the opoi opiate and pain management that has taken my ability and my drive and my work and my study away from me. The thing is, as much as I resent my health, it has also given me a purpose to raise awareness and my favorite part is being able to mentor other young girls through the

diagnosis process. Being able to do this makes my heart so happy. It gives me something to fight for when things get bad. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this as I feel my own body is failing me as i watch everyone around me moving along in life and I'm sitting here, sitting here, stuck in limbo. Thanks so much, Bianca. That's like a that's like almost like

a gratefulness sandwich she has. She was like grateful to be, you know, listening to the podcast, and and then and then she's diagnosed, and then there's pain, and then there's another gratefulness at the bottom of what it means to give back to others. So what's the question here? What is she asking yeah, I'm not really sure. I think maybe she is wanting to. Honestly, Griz, what you've done is just created a space where fans feel like they can come and share and be vulnerable. And so I

think Bianca really just wants to be her. She wants her story to be heard and to be known, and to understand that there's people out there that are maybe going through the same things something similar. And yeah, life

can be really really difficult sometimes. But I think, like Granger said, maybe the most encouragement that we can give to you is that gratitude is the front door to the house of grace, and it sounds like you are there, and I think if you can continue in that, in that house of grace, you're going to be able to look to other people with that maybe give yourself some and maybe change your expectation and just see kind of how that changes your mindset, how it changes your outlook,

and how it changes that purpose, or maybe just encourages the purpose because it sounds like you felt a pretty strong calling and so yeah, maybe just some encouragement. Yeah, gratitude is the front door to the house of grace. Yeah, that's good stuff, man. So the last thing she says here, I'll read it again. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, as I feel like my own body is failing me, as I watch everyone I know moving along in life and I'm stuck in limbo. So Bianca, I

would challenge you, are you stuck? Are you really stuck in limbo? Or is that what it looks like on paper, because I think you've kind of revealed something to me and Bernie here that's much deeper than someone that appears to be stuck, because I could show you a lot of people that are actually stuck, and I promise you they don't have some kind of illness like you do. And I'm not taking that away away from you, but

I'm telling you, I think that's your power. I think your illness and your diagnosis and your pain is becoming a power for you that you've learned how to use that has not gotten you stuck. I think you're just saying that because that's kind of what a society says today, and that's not you. I don't think it's you to be someone that feels sorry for yourself. I don't think

that's you. Because of this whole section you put in the middle of your sandwich here where you said as much as I resent my health, it has given me purpose to raise awareness and my favorite part is being able to mentor other young girls through the diagnosis process. This makes my heart so happy. It gives me something to fight for when things get bad. Look what you have discovered under this rock of pain? Oh for sure, you picked up the rock and you go look what's

under here? Yeah? Uh yeah. These these kind of afflictions and these burdens are really setting you up to push into this purpose and really inspire other people. Granger, who would what would inspire you more? Watching me someone that's in fairly good health, have all my limbs climb a mountain, or a wounded warrior that's lost both of his legs, he's on prosthetics and can barely carry you know, a backpack or anything. Walk up that mountain and crawl his

way and climb his and fight his way. What's more inspiring? Yeah, no doubt, beyond no doubt. Go climb the mountain. People are watching and they're ready to be inspired by your story. That's so good, Stuart. Yeah, And just for you to for you to know, just know that you have that power and that other people that you think are just living a good life, they're actually the ones that are stuck. You have if you could somehow say in your mind and just say it out loud, I am blessed because

of my illness, everything's going to change for you. Switching gears here. Next question, subject line says X coming back already in a relationship. Hey Granger, thank you for taking the time to read my email. I have something I would like to talk to you about. I've been with my current girlfriend for about a year. I'm madly in love, and we are taking things really slow to make sure she's comfortable and going at her pace. Recently, though, my ex girlfriend, who I was with for five years prior,

is reaching back out to me. She's trying to re establish some kind of connection, and honestly, I have some kind of residual feeling from the previous relationship where I still care and part of me wants to but I know my girlfriend is my future and I love her more than anyone could imagine. Obviously, being with someone for five years you have memories and things, but honestly, I just need to have a conversation and some kind of outside perspective thank you for everything you do. Please come

back to New Hampshire. Thanks Brendan. Interesting Brendan, from just reading it one time through, it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself that you really love your current girlfriend. You're trying to convince me and you both that you really love her. Like, let me repeat a line that you said here. You said I love her more than anyone could imagine. I'm trying to imagine that, buddy, And then earlier you said I am madly in love with

my current girlfriend. Okay, those are things that I feel like you're trying to convince yourself of because right here in the middle of your email, you're staying I still have feelings for my ex. Did he mention how long he's been with a new girl? About a year? About a year? Okay, so this is a red flag. I

feel like I could be wrong. I could be wrong in a lot of these answers, but I feel like in a real relationship, if you are quote madly in love and quote love her more than anyone could imagine, as soon as the ex girlfriend reaches out, you're like, nah, nah, yeah, one hundred percent, I ain't reaching out to that girl. Yeah, the fact that you're even questioning is kind of interesting, an interesting point if you really do love your new girlfriend more than we can imagine. I don't know, Brendan.

I would say, you got a good thing in front of you, man, And if that's real and you really feel like this is your future, don't look to the past. There's a reason that you guys split and it's probably gonna come back up. So boom, what are they What do they say about one in the hand better than

two in the bush or something like that. Yeah, so dude, you got one in your hand man that you love, Like, just be present, be with her, just man, This is this is what happens Griz like in our society, we are just like flooded with options and options paralyze us. They give us anxise like we should I come back or with the new one in this and Amazon has everything I can can just say, it's like, ah, stop,

just be with her. Yeah, make a decision with your brain, not your gut, not your heart, not your your feelings. Don't but I feel like I want to get back with or I feel like we had some great feelings. Hey, make a decision. This new girl's great. No, I'm gonna I'm gonna make a conscious decision that I'm gonna stay with this new girl. And I'm not even going to entertain because what could possibly be good with entertaining the old girlfriend? What could be good? Nothing? Yeah, like you

might be thinking closure, that's good. You don't have that yet. If you don't have closure, then you're not in love with the new one, right, Good luck, Brendan. Yeah, thanks for writing in. Let's hit another one here, subject line hearing God's Voice. It's always a good one and this is a very short one. Hey Granger, I'm Teddy. Hopefully you'll see this before tomorrow. Hopefully you'll see this before tomorrow.

I don't know what that means, but that the email goes on to say, I've been trying to submit my life to Christ. My question is how do I know what God is telling me? Like, how do I hear his voice? Hmm? We could either go super deep or super shallow on this one, but Teddy, thanks for emailing. Let me just be it. Let's just be simple. You want to hear God's voice, read God's living word, read it that's called the Bible, and you open it up and you say, God, Granger told me that this is

your living, breathing word, open it up to me. Open up to open my mind and my heart up to your word so that you could speak to me through your word. And then if you want to do any research at all, teddy on the on the Bible and what it is and what it stands for, and where it came from and how it got translated and how it got into your hands. It's all over the internet and you can go down a deep rabbit hole with that. But you will find also the answer to how to

submit your life to Christ in that book. Yeah, that's really good. He's right on. But I would also say don't because a lot of people, especially in our society, like we go to it and we just expect to hear God like that, and it's like sometimes to hear God's voice and it's a whisper, and there's a lot of distractions, and there's a lot of other noise that

you have to kind of quiet in your life. Not just one morning with the Bible, but once you start to read that and it starts to be the loudest noise in your life, the most influential where it has your attention and everything. Then I feel like you go throughout your day and you start to kind of you start to see it, and you start to hear that whisper. And I think we talk one time, Granger. I love getting into the wilderness, into nature, just disconnect from everything,

just go get lost. And I remember one specific time of doing this, and I just remember hearing this faint whisper that said, if you want to hear my voice, you need to put yourself in the places that I speak. And I just savage second was like, oh my gosh, what does that mean? What does that mean? So I started thinking about it. I think his word is a place that he speaks. I think that the stillness, the quiet is a place that he speaks. I think that nature can be a place that he speaks. So maybe

those things together, you know, can help you. I hope that that's some good advice. But really find his word, find some stillness, and maybe we can start to hear those whispers. Bernie's answers so much better than mine. That's why I have because maybe I've gotten jaded. I'm just like, read your Bible. But the truth is, Teddy, it took me forty years of dabbling in the Bible forty years before I really understood it and heard it. Yeah, so Bernie was the first thing he said was it doesn't

always happen quickly. Well, I'm an answer. It took me four decades. Here's the deal. This is what Bernie and I both believe. The cause irresistible. So if you have this feeling like I need to submit myself to Christ, I don't know how I need to hear God's voice. I don't know how. If those are sincere questions you're asking, you will find it. Knock and the door will be opened. I promise you seek and you will find is real. And if that is a sincere feeling in you, it's

going to manifest itself. It might take forty years, but it's not going to go away. That nagging will not go away Like a tiny pebble in your shoe. Eventually, you got to take off the shoe and dig in the sock and find that rascal pebble, and you will. But that if that's if that question is sincere, you will find both of your answers somewhere in Bernie's answer. Let's set another one here, all right, So we rocking through these. Next one understanding differences amongst churches. Ooh, I

like that question too. Hey you. My name is Danny. I'm twenty three. I grew up in church, going every single week with my parents, and I've been living on my own for about five years since I left for college. My church attendance has been inconsistent because I've always wondered why are there so many different denominations of Christianity and disagreeances among churches. If I type in Google, what does the Bible say about blank, teenagers, alcohol and marijuana, use,

specific secular music, music artists, et cetera. I find one pastor's blog that says it's totally fine and another that says the opposite. And similarly, one local church might teach that it's fine, then the church a mile away says otherwise. So how do I know what to believe when people say different things about topics the Bible never explicitly addresses. Found your podcast and many others on TikTok, and it keeps me going. I listen consistently. I've been listening for

about a year now. Thanks for what you do, Danny. Danny, great question. I love I love this question because it's just so logical. It's just like, yeah, from the outside looking in, Why the world are there so many denominations? Why does it seem like Christians are such hypocrites and disagree? Why does it why are there so many translations of the Bible and people act like one is right and

the other's wrong. And then they're supposed to stand together and say Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the life, but they don't even agree on how you get to Jesus or how to please Jesus. Like why why is there a church on every street corner in Tennessee? It seems like, you know, and the Bible belt and they all teach something different. Great question that is that is like just just very upfront, obvious, you know, pragmatic questions.

So I appreciate it coming in, and I feel like me and Bernie can give you a pretty solid answer. I'll start with this. There's there's three ways. There's three divisions categories of beliefs in Christianity. Let me try to explain this better. The first category is things that Christians believe that are essential to Christianity. It can't be you cannot get out of that category. You cannot disagree with

any of it, or you are not a Christian. The second category is what makes churches different from each other, but they may or may not be essential at all to being a Christian. And then the third category is I'm going down the list of light of heavy to light. Then the lightest category is things that are freely and almost encouraged to disagree about as Christians. But it has nothing to do with being a Christian itself. So let's start with that category. The things that are Christians are

free to disagree about. Pews are chairs, music, drums are no drums, drinking alcohol casually or not or nothing. Then let's go to things that separate churches, sprinkling baptism or total submersion, and you could say pews and chairs. On that too, you could say the attire that the pastor wears, like does he wear a suit? Liturgy or yeah, liturgy. And then there's things that are essential to Christianity and that is the trinity, that is Jesus is the only

way for salvation. And I'm just naming a few in each category. There's many, but you have to understand first of all, why there's many churches. Well, ultimately that's because there's many personalities of people's There's certain people that like to worship in certain ways, and so so there's different churches that give give them that kind of opportunity and doesn't make that church right or wrong. Kind of like you're saying, you're kind of thinking that that means the

church is either right or wrong. It's not. Let's actually dive into what you're saying here, specifically alcohol and marijuana use. You find one pastor says it's fine and another one says the opposite. Well, that's something that's that's drinking alcohol is if you're having a casual drink, you're having a glass of wine at a wedding or a birthday. There's nothing wrong with that. It's getting drunk. And when you get getting drunk and numbing your mind, which is also

what marijuana does, is unanimously wrong in the Bible. And so we're gonna use the Bible. This is kind of an over overarching answer. We're gonna use the Bible as the main source of what all the churches should do. And we believe that the Bible says how to build a church and what to do in a church, and what to believe and what to say. We believe that

the Bible itself says and does all of that. So as long as a church is living by the Bible, for the Bible, through the Bible, with the Bible taught by the Bible, then then that church cannot be wrong. Now you said also, and the last thing I'll say, I'm gonna hand it to Bernie. You said, what about different topics that the Bible explicit never explicitly explicitly addresses. Okay, so that's another logical question. So that's when it goes into the things where you like marijuana. My Bible never

says marijuana. Okay. I've heard people say that, but it does say to say sober minded. So that's gonna that's gonna contradict that that's not gonna be sober minded if you're smoking marijuana. Okay. So that's an easy one. Ones that are more difficult sprinkling or total submersion baptism. Okay, Well that's it. That's a healthy discussion that I think leads people back to the Bible, which is good. I

was just reading the other day, Ezekiel. I believe it's thirty six where it talks about sprinkling clean with the water and I read that and I'm like, Ah, that's where the Princebyteria to get that. And then you could the Book of Acts. They're dunking people, you know, so it's like, oh, that's where the Baptist get that. So it to that kind of stuff is not dependent on salvation, and it ultimately leads people back to the Bible itself. Taking communions another one? Am I going too far? What

Danny asked? What? No? I think you're a lot of good points. This is Danny. I think Danny, my answer to this is probably a little different than Grangers. I honestly don't think we're doing it right. If I'm being honest, I'm not exactly sure why I have not studied church history the way that many people have. I do understand that the first fifteen hundred years of the Church, we did not have all the different denominations that we have now.

Christianity has the most denominations of any religion in the world. There's no like division in the same way and other religions. But I think the best thing I could say to you is I've asked myself the same question. I stumbled upon a podcast by Francis chan, which we both heard together called when the Church is one? Is that right? That's what it's called. It's two parts. Make sure you

listen to the second part. He really asks some thought provoking questions around what you're talking about here and really ties it back to two things to scripture and understanding. When people will understand the love of God is when we the body are one. Okay. That It's not people being eloquent with their words and us going out on mission trips. That's not how the world will know the love of God. It's when we the church are one, okay.

The second thing is submitting under authority. So the pastor that has the blog or the video blog or whatever that you're looking that says he says one thing, he says the other. The problem that we run into these

days is that. And for instance, Chant even says, look, who are who you want to believe the guy that can sit in his office by himself with the latest Bible software and he can write some you know, sermon or some blog about why this is right, or the guy that has submitted under the eldership of the church had a series of people probe and discuss and and go back to the word of like is this really

what it says? And then that is what is presented and then and then that is what people are kind of like falling under the authority of which one the problem is is we have too many of these right now in the world have we need And I think I've talked to you about this, like we have we have too many preachers and not enough good preachers, not enough good churches, and just too many churches. So I

think we're doing it wrong. I think your your question is just the question so many people have and the reason that so many people don't want to attend church because they're just kind of confused, like, well, if I go here, do I have to believe these things? And how's that differ from this sold Anybody out there that's thinking these same things, I would encourage you to go listen to this podcast and just to understand, like, man, next generation coming up, Like what might it look like

for the body to be one? Yeah, I think it just blows our minds to think about because we have we have been in a church system for so long, but to think, like, man, what would it look like?

I mean, together, for the gospel that we went to was I think just like kind of a glimpse of that where Baptist Presbyterian could sit together and kind of like, hey, we're we're here, we are one, and we know there's these differences between us that we can kind of say, yeah, like you said, they fall into that second bucket or the third bucket, and that's fine. The first buckets what we need to be thinking about. Yeah, first bucket cannot

be changed. And it's a different conversation for a different different podcast of what that is. And I'll tell you right now, Danny, that there are good Christians in bad churches right now, and there's bad Christians in good churches right now. It's all mixed up, and that's just part of it. We're gonna you're gonna have to discern. But last thing I'll say, I don't think this is really the question you're asking all of this. I think the main thing is it's sin. That's that's usually the deep

problem with all of us, including me. It's like, hey, Granger, I don't want that church to take away stuff I love, So I guess I'm not gonna go because they're all they're all disagreeing with each other anyway, And I don't want them to. I don't want them to tell me what I can't do because I love to do a lot of things. That's usually the root problem. Now that you have to understand, I'm going along on this podcast break.

But the thing about what Christ is offering is he is he is not asking for you to give up anything. He's asking for you to give up everything and then him to come in and be bigger than anything you could have ever had before. Right, that's so good man. This is what's this, Danny. We're still on, Danny. Danny. Here's what you need to ask yourself, and then what you whatever church you go to, what you need to

ask the leadership of that church. Do I adore Jesus and believe that He is worthy of all blessing and honor and glory. Like, ask yourself that in the in the context of all the small questions you're asking too, and then talk to the leadership about that. I think though, that kind of talk gets you into the conversation of that first bucket. And if you do that with the mindset that Granger just says, I think he's absolutely right, Like your world will get flipped upside down for the better.

And you'll you'll just be like, Wow, I had no idea. This is what Jesus meant by the church in his word. I always thought it was like a building and the people that danced or didn't dance. But this is what this is what it means. So maybe we just have a fundamental difference in what the definition of church should be. Totally, I don't know. Take a break, gret back. Thank y'all

for listening to the podcast. If you want a late Christmas gift, like maybe you forgot somebody or somebody that you just thought, oh man, I totally blew it on that when I got them the wrong thing. I got something for you. How about you get a cameo from me. You can go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith, or you can download the cameo app and search for

me Granger Smith. I'll make a video message for you and I'll tell them that You're sorry you got them the wrong gift or I'm sorry that you forgot a gift or here's a late whatever, last minute gift. But I could say whatever you want, Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and it's super easy for you to do. You just go on the app. You tell me exactly what you want me to say. I pull out my phone and I send you a video message exactly like you want it to whoever you want it addressed to.

It goes back to you and then you send it to them as a gift. Super easy, and you could redeem your Christmas gift. Of course. I want to talk to you also about my new movie moon Rise. You could stream that on pure Flicks. This is a great family streaming app that Sony Pictures now owns that is

safe for the entire family. So whatever's on Pureflicks, you could sit the whole family down without researching it, set them on the couch, hit play, and trust whatever you're gonna see is going to be safe in all ways and all themes for your family to watch it. I would love for you to check out my movie Moonrise on there. It's actually the number one streaming movie on pure Flix right now, and I would love to know what you think about it. Back to the podcast, jumping

in here to next question. Subject line says becoming the next country singer and fighting the fear of trying. Hey, gre and your my name is Tanner from Idaho. I need advice on wanting to start my country music career. I'm twenty five and everyone I know around me says I can't do it. But since I've listened to your music and other country stars, I want to try to make it a career for me. Any advice. Congrats movie, my family and I love it. Ye, I'm right, Tanner,

Thanks for emailing man. I'm glad that I could be uh an influence for you to say, see Granger's not that good, I could do it. I could do it. I think that's what he's saying. Okay, here's the thing this is. This is probably not what you expect me to say, but I'll say it. You are you The world TikTok and Instagram will tell you that when people people say you can't do it, you prove them wrong. Prove them wrong, like Tom Brady did. People told Tom

Brady no, and did it? You know, like that's really popular. Books are made about that, uh. Podcasts are made based on that underdog underdog baby. But when everyone around you here's you sing and says you can't do it, that's not necessarily the path that you want to take to say, I'm gonna prove everybody wrong, because usually I understand the underdog in the music business. But usually, like in the little town where you start, everyone says you can do it.

Like that's usually the problem is you get too big of a head, and then you move to Nashville and then you realize you're a small fish in a big ocean. But the little town that you come from usually is the support that gets you there and gives you the confidence. You say, everyone I know around me says I can't do it. I don't think the music business is something you want to prove all of your family and friends

wrong with. What do you think. Yeah, it's not like record executives that are telling you you can't do it, people in the industry telling you you can't do it. These are like, this is your support system, this is everybody you know. So I think you probably need to, uh, just be self aware, man, Like be self aware. It's totally fine to write songs, sing, do some small shows, open mics as a hobby. I mean, that's that's the world I live in, Bud. Come on, it's fun, man.

You know, we don't have to all tour and you know, do the thing. But maybe that's the rep maybe you're going to be more like Burns than Grizz is all I'm saying. And that is pretty good. I got a pretty good life, so it's not so bad. Yeah, man. That to answer your question, how do you start a country career, It's the same way you eat an elephant, one bite at a time. You just you find a little local place and you start an open mic and you just play a few songs, and you start an

Instagram account and play some music on it. You just start small. That's the only way to do it. Yeah, Play all the time, write all the time, write some really really good songs, play for people. Take the criticism, and I don't think Granger or myself are saying it can't happen. It's really just a matter of you deciding, you know how, Just be self aware. I like that, be self aware. I like that. Another question might be might be on the same lines. Here says overcoming the Odds.

Hey Granger, my name is Javier Gonzales. I'm from Mesa, Arizona. I'm a first generation in my family. I am of excuse me, I am the first generation of my family, and I am pursuing to become a fireman in the future, But the odds of me becoming one are less than five percent. Plus being between five six and five seven feet tall and weighing one hundred and twenty five pounds

decreases my chance of becoming a fireman. I want to pursue this career, so I joined a fire cadet program, and I'm eating well and working out, trying to get in shape for this career. But the odds of me becoming one are a lot less, and I have doubt and fear about myself. How do I overcome these doubts and fears? How did you overcome the odds pursuing your career? Man? The perfect question to follow up the one before that,

because here's the opposite example. When everyone around you is telling you no because they hear you sing, it's probably a good indication to not do it. But when odds and statistics tell you that you're too small to be a fireman, that's something you can pursue and fight through and overcome. Yeah, I think that they're especially for something

like a firefighter. There's probably more places in the world that need firefighters, and those odds of like breaking through that than becoming, like, you know, a successful country singer. Would you agree, Yeah, so maybe it's not you're part of the New York Fire Department or like a big, you know station, But yeah, you you start and then you keep on and you keep on. I'm sure if really just helping people and firefighting is what you feel called to do, I think you can work hard like

you're saying, and you'll find your spot. Yeah. I mean you're doing the right thing. You're eating, you're working out, you're getting some calories in you. I mean, you're doing all the right things. You're emailing the podcast. I mean, I've run into some dudes that were five to seven that I would not mess with, and they were just bad, bad dudes, and they would go into a building no matter what and what. I think you can do it, man don't. Yeah. Yeah, So his question, let's go specific,

How do I overcome these doubts and fears? Yeah? I miss that. So I think small, tiny victories, small victories, and that could be. That could be a small victory, could be you want a weigh one hundred and twenty seven pounds, one hundred and twenty five, and you get on that scale and you go boom, one hundred and twenty seven victory. That's a small victory. It builds a small, tiny sliver of confidence, but it's something, and so you

just keep doing it. Hey, I want to run a mile in under this time, you run it, you train, boom, you got it. So you're building these small victories and this is ways to build your confidence. When you build your confidence, you find ways to overcome doubts and fears with confidence. Confidence comes from small victories and encouragement from friends and family. Yep, yeah, I agree percent All right. Question next one is said on subject line says moving

out at Grandear love your podcast in your music. My name is Henry. I'm twenty one years old. I'm a college drop out from California, living with my parents, working my butt off, trying to save up money to move out. I feel like I'm getting too old to stay home. I want to spread my wings and make my own path in life, raise a good god, fearing family, make my community a better place. I feel disassociated with California

and the people who live here. I don't have many friends, and I spend a lot of time either with my dad or playing video games in my room. I want to make friends, but the culture, the politics the cost of living here make me want to shut in and do nothing but just keep my head down. I want to plant my roots somewhere and the heartlands like Kentucky. I'm moved by the kindness of everyone I've met out

there when I've traveled to that state. It makes me want to invest my time and my money into making it a better place for myself and everyone else. But maybe it's just a grass as always greener type thing. Maybe it won't help. Maybe I'll just be an introvert for the rest of my life. I'm scared of being so far from my family, But I know myself and I know sometimes I need a kick in the butt to motivate me to change. Do I have a gypsy heart? Am I being selfish for leaving my parents behind? How

do I glorify God in doing this? How do I keep in touch with my loved ones when I'm so far away? Thank you, Henry, God blessed. That's a lot of stuff going on in Henry's head right now. And thanks for the email, brother, thanks for shout out to California, and thanks for thinking of me and Bernie. Whenever you're going through stuff like this, let's walk through it. You have a ton of questions. You just kind of dumped a bunch. Honest, let's walk through this and see what

we could find out here. First, where should I go with the first question? First question is your disassociation from California and you thinking that Kentucky will be the problem solver for all of this disassociation, Like Kentucky is the place where your friends are. You just haven't met him yet. I think there probably could be some truth in that. But the problem I have really believing that is it doesn't sound like he's giving the people of California a

real chance. He's locking himself in his room playing video games. And I get it. He's an introvert. You're an introvert. Meeting new people and really being vulnerable and engaging is kind of uncomfortable. Like, totally understand that. But you will ultimately find the same thing in Kentucky if you practice the same things that you're practicing. And so, I don't know if that disassociation with people of California is It could be, because you know, there's definitely differences in the

people in the culture around the country. But I feel like i've heard graindeer on the podcast say before, like, you need to find something you're into, like even if it's video games, Okay, we'll go to a video game conference in your area. Find people that are into the same things that you are, and start building community around a common something, whether it's a church, could be something like a men's Bible study, or a video game team

or whatever they do now. But the point is is like when you do that, you're going to start to build your confidence, which will help you be able to meet new people, which will be able to give you some resources to like maybe step out on your own. You meet a roommate at one of these you know events that you go to, it's like, oh, hey, he's looking for a roommate. I'm looking for roommate. So that that's my first thought on that question. I think part

of that is just so good man. That's such wise counsel. And I loved I loved the idea that Bernie said were you're not giving California a chance, because if you gave Kentucky people the same chance you're giving California people, you're going to get the same result. And that's this part that I'm I'm just glad that you were vulnerable enough to mention that you sit in your room and play video games instead of making friends. But you put those two sentences back to back. I sit in my

video my room, playing video games. And the next line is I want to make friends. But the culture of the politics, the cost of living. And like Bernie said, this is you know that there's truth to that. I'm sure, but I love the idea that Bernie's suggesting, Like are you giving them a chance? Is there a video game that you do love? Is there some kind of convention with that game that you could find people? Is there

a group that you can go with to Kentucky? And this is I've said this so many times when people are considering moving. Could you go for a weekend with somebody and visit Louisville and go to a couple of towns and you're there for like a Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and you drive, you fly back on Southwest Airlines. You get a good airfare, and you fly back to California. There's always Southwest airlines from Louisville Dee, California. I know that for a fact, and they're always pretty good priced

under one hundred dollars. Could you go do that. You don't have to commit everything and move and pack up a U haul and go all the way to cross the country and then worry that you're going to miss your family and you've got a gypsy hard and how could you possibly do this? You could just go for a weekend and you might come back and go. Nah, it ain't when I thought right. And just to be clear, I don't know your parents, but I'm pretty sure that they're not going to be upset if you go out

on your own. Like as a parent, I'm going to be excited when my kids, especially if they're twenty one still living at home, it's like, all right, jet, time to go, buddy. Like me and your mom got some plans. So here's that's part of one of his shotgun questions at the end. Here am I being selfish for leaving behind my parents? No? No, that's what you're supposed to do, YEA. Their nice question is how do I glorify God in doing this? Well, the Bible says leave your mother and father,

go out. The Bible also says go make disciples of all nations. So the Bible is saying, yes, you should leave your parents, and you should kind of feel like you have a gypsy heart because you're leaving and you're going out. How do you glorify God by telling other people about him? That's it. It's not about how much money you make, or what job you have, or where what state you live in. It's telling everyone you know about him. That's how you glorify him and doing whatever

you're doing. How do I keep in touch with my loved ones when I'm so far away? That's your last question. FaceTime is a good option, Skype is a good option. And did we live in a day when you could text and voice text and email and video message mama, and you can hop on a plane and fly back, you know, pretty pretty easily. So let's hit one more and then, well I went late on that last section, so and hit one more before people get bored with

the burns. Speeder speed around here. Subject Glad says talking to a girl while having many other things going on in my life parentheses question for your podcast. He Andrew. My name is Owen. I'm a senior in high school. I'm talking to this girl. I'm very busy balancing school and work, so it's hard to make time for other things. And she says I don't make enough time for her, which I totally understand due to the many things going

on in my life. I just can't figure out if I should be focusing on school and work instead of being in a relationship, being the only being only a senior in high school, or if I should focus more on this relationship. Also, I love listening to your podcasts and your music. Thanks so much, Bernie. I'm gonna make owen like your son. Boston's Boston talking to you? Okay, how old is Boston? Your son twelve? He's twelve, so six years from now. Boston is saying, Dad, here's the deal.

I'm in this relationship. This girl says I don't enough time for her. But you know, Dad, I'm busy with sports and school and balancing and all that. So, Dad, I'm asking you, should I focus more on her? Or should I focus more on my senior year in high school and finishing up my responsibilities. Son, I love you, and I support you no matter what you do. But tell that girl buy and be eighteen and enjoy it. It's interesting when I reword it like that, it just

makes it so obvious to anyone listening. Like I think sometimes these questions are just answered before I even start. It's just they're answered in the reading of the question. And sometimes I just have to put inflection in certain lines or words, and sometimes I just have to redirect the question back to you. And when I say it like that or put your son in perspective. No, you

should not focus on the relationship. Yeah, you should focus on being eighteen and finishing your school because you've got college coming up, and you've got sports, and you got your buddies and you're only eighteen. Once. Yeah, it goes so quick, man. Just enjoy and enjoy being eighteen. That's my advice. The other thing is the girl saying that

you don't make enough time for her is normal. Yeah, that's like ingrained in girls from a very early age, and especially if her daddy's not given her that much attention, then she's going to pull it out of you and you're never going to be enough for her. Just know that you might not know that yet, will you'll learn it with a girl like this, You'll learn it soon that even if you did drop everything and we're there all the time, you're never going to be enough of

what she wants out of you. So just understand that I love that your heart actually cares about her and you kind of feel sorry for her and you realize that you're doing other things, but you are in the right here. Yeah for sure. Hey, before we jump off, I just want to give one shout out to your fan the fans that I met at the movie premiere. Man,

they were just so amazing. And a couple people, in particular Kendra and jan Jan gave up her seat for Leslie and I. She had a seat, like the best seat in the house to watch the movie right by you guys. We weren't there, and she was like, she saw me. She was like, you need to sit by Grainger. I was like, no, it's fine. She gave up her seat, went and sat in another theater so that we could like be front and center, like right by you guys

to watch it. And I just want to say that is just one of the fans that we met and that we have met of ye nation, and dude, you guys are just so so awesome. And I was just Leslie and I were really moved by, like wow, not just oh hey, let's scoot over, but it was Kendra, and then there was three other girls that they were like, no, we'll give up our seat so you guys can sit here. It's like, man, that was so awesome. So I just want to get them little shout out and yeah eee nation,

you guys are awesome. I'm so thrilled to just kind of be in the atmosphere love it. Well, that doesn't surprise me. Those girls are amazing. So thanks Burns. Yep, see you next year, See you next year. Yeah, see you guys. Love y'all. See you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell so that

you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yie