This is the scary part of your question. This is scary if you have to ask me, after eight years, how do I know when the right time to get married is. I would say, if you have to ask, maybe she's not the right one. Hey, everybody, welcome to the podcast, episode one hundred and sixty four. Thanks for being here. I answer your questions. That's what I do here. You could ask me anything you want. It could be about any topic anything. Really, I mean, we've seen the
entire gambit of what these questions could be. You email me Granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com, and then we'll put it in a queue. I don't have notes, nothing in front of me, and I'm completely reading these at random, so I don't know. I haven't prepared for this. I don't know what we're about to get into. Let's find out. First email here on the list, subject cline says job, and the email says, Hey, Granger, my name is Wesley. I'm from Pennsylvania currently working for my dad
at a garden center. I do not like it. I recently got into photography and want to quit the garden center and start photography full time. What should I do? Hey, Wesley, thanks for emailing brother shout out to Pennsylvania. This email is really short, and yet you're saying so much with so few words to me. First of all, let's look at this. You're working for your dad, so there's a dynamic there, right, Like there's already something going on with
your dad. And then the second thing is you recently got into photography. It's funny that you put that word recently in there, and yet you already want to quit working for your dad and go full time photography. That's
that's so interesting. Let me dive into this a little bit. Okay, sometimes, maybe a lot of times, we take this phrase that our society tells us follow your dreams, and we take that too an extreme, and we we use the phrase follow your dreams as a cop out for living life the way we need to be living it right now today.
So it's like, you don't like something, something makes you uncomfortable, something is too hard of work, something is too boring, and so you just kind of blanket over with this phrase I should be following my dreams, and you're like, what are my dreams? And you're like, well, recently I got into photography. That's a dream. Yeah, that's what you watch enough Instagram and you think to yourself, see, I should be following my dreams like all these other people
on Instagram. That's what I should do. I don't want to work for dad at the garden center. Hey, let me let leslie. Let me just say this. Not a lot of people want to work for their dad at the garden center. But it's not about what you want. It's about what you need to be doing right now. It's a responsible thing to be doing. That's the most unpopular thing I could say on a podcast, to do the responsible thing. But let's lay it out practically. Okay, let's look at this. Let's lay it all on the
table here. Photography costs money. Equipment cost money, Your bills cost money. Right now, your photography business isn't making anything because you're gonna start from scratch. So back up from there and go, okay, well, the garden center is making some cash. So I'm gonna put away a certain amount of money from the garden center job, and I'm gonna start saving up, and I'm gonna have a goal for a certain camera that I need, maybe a certain light
that I need to get this thing going. In the meantime, I'm gonna start working for free photography to get my name out there. I'm gonna offer my services to people for free, and that's gonna help me build a portfolio, preferably online on social media. You're gonna build this portfolio of what you do. You're gonna build this reputation of your good work. You're gonna maybe take some classes on how to get better. You're gonna be mentored by different people.
This is a long process. You gonna be a full time photographer. Do you know what's at stake for that? You know how hard of work and how much talent and how much money you have to have saved to do that? You're not ready? How do I know? Because of what you said in just like three sentences here, So practically look at this. Make a list. It's good to follow your dreams, but not today. Make a list. What do I need to do? I need to save this much money for this equipment. I need to do
that year. How many years are in this plan? Say I'm going to do this, this whole thing. I'm gonna do this in two and a half years. Now. Already you're listening. You're like, I don't want to wait too I don't want to work for dad for two and a half years. Now we've got another problem, right, Maybe we have a bigger problem than what you're even emailing me. Right, So I think this is deeper than it appears. Some stuff you gotta work out. But the bottom line is
you're not going to be a photographer today? Okay? How okay? Lasting before I move on, last thing, how do you know when it's time to be a full time photographer? You might be thinking that, anybody might be thinking, how do I know when it's time to be full time in the dream the dream gig? How do you know? Guys? It's not hard. You know when you're making equal amount of money that you're making in your day job in
your hobby job. That's how you know. Then you let go of it the day job and you go full time hobby job when the money equals. I could say the same thing for music. How did I know when it was time to go full time music? When music is making full time money? Now, full time money doesn't have to be indulging, It doesn't have to be a lot. It's just breaking barely scratching the surface of paying the bills. When you can do that and you could live on
the money from the hobby. And I don't care if you're eating Ramen noodles and staying on your buddy's couch. If that is living to you, good, then you could do the hobby until then, until you can pay for the Ramen noodles and the gas in your car, you gotta stick with the day job. Next question, Subjecline says being content, and the email says, Hey Grange, your My name is Will. I'm twenty years old from Southwest Washington.
Been a podcast listener and for the better part of a year now, I'm having a problem balancing my relationship with God and his word and in search for a potential spouse. My question to you is this, while looking for a wife, how do I know whether or not that search is becoming an idol in my life? Marriage is biblical, but I'm trying to be content in God. It seems the more I try to be content, the more and more I think about the girl that I may have my eye on. Interested in hearing your thoughts
on this. Thanks for everything you do, Will, Thanks for the email. Brother. Shout out to Southwest Washington. What a beautiful part of the country. And it's a good question. It's a really good question, and I'm happy that you asked it. And we'll start with this. How do you know these are your words? How do you know whether or not that search for a wife is becoming an idol in my life? Probably when you have to ask
me if it's an idol or not. Probably when you have to ask anybody when it's becoming an idol, it already has, it's already done it. I don't think you would ask the question if it wasn't. I don't think you would wonder if it wasn't. You would just know, of course it's not an idol. But when it becomes something that you wake up and you're thinking about, and you go to sleep and you're thinking about and you're you're awake and you're flipping through social media and you're
thinking about it, what is what would be that? Like the practical easy, like the dumb definition for idle, what would that be? It would be something like this. It would be something that takes the place of what you would be worshiping your creator in. So are you dreaming about it? Are you waking up in the morning? That's the first thought you had when you go lay your head down on your pillow at night, is that what
you're thinking about? You're going through your day and your daydreaming, you're at work, and that is that what you're thinking about? Then you go, Wow, this is becoming an idol. And it's easy to do that with anything. I mean, for me, it's so easy for me to make idols out of new albums or new songs, or new movies, our new podcast episodes, or negative social media post or positive social media post. It's easy for me to make an idol out of preaching. It's easy for me to make an
idol out of my kids or my wife. It's easy. It's important, though, to be able to recognize, well, this is going a little too far. I should hit the brakes. I should recenter myself. How do we do that? I should recenter myself back into the word, back to start reading the Bible again. I should recenter myself with prayer, and that prayer could say specifically that like, God, don't don't let me make an idol out of this, this new song. What am I doing? What I've gone off
on a tangent? God, don't let me make an idol out of this job. God, don't make me make an idol out of finding a wife because I feel I feel like I'm giving too much attention. Turn my heart. God, give me new desires. Let me crave you, Let me hunger for you and your word. Because here I go off on a tangent again, because I'm a human and I'm starting to follow my feelings and it's taken me away from you. Redirect me. Please, that's a solid prayer. That's a solid prayer that no one is immune to.
I don't care if you're the greatest saint on the planet. That's a solid prayer because guess what, you're human. So I don't want to take away the fact that it's important. Will it's important for you to find a wife. But the way to do it is seeking Jesus full strength,
running full strength for Jesus. And as you're running, as you're heading towards him, as you're learning more, as you're craving his words, you're praying, you're reading, you're attending, you're serving, and you look to your right and you see someone else on that same path, headed that same direction, and you're like, hey, do you want to run with me
in this direction? And They're like, yes, that's a pretty good way to find a spouse, just saying, now if you take your eyes off of that path and you redirect, and you go, I'm on this path, I'm running towards Jesus. But I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna turn around, and I'm gonna look over here for and dig around for a while for a spouse, and as soon as I find them, then we're gonna both start heading back to Christ. That's what you know. You found an idol. Next question, subjectline
says what should I do? I guess I should read to find out. It says, Hey, Grangeer, my name is Evan. I'm eighteen from Iowa. Been talking to this girl on Snapchat since August twenty fourth to twenty twenty two. Me and her talk daily and have never met in person. I've told her that I like someone, but I'm scared to tell her that it's her that I like because I'm scared to lose them because she doesn't know it's her. This girl makes me smile with hardly even trying, and
has helped me through some difficult times. I need your help. What should I do? Thank you? Evan? Interesting? Interesting coming off the last question going into this one. You could see the contrast. And so what I love this podcast.
I love how there is no requirement for what your question is, and so they just roll into each other, and sometimes they roll they roll into each other in a very interesting way, Like we just talked about finding a spouse and making that become an idol and then we roll right into a question that just definitely definitely looks like idolatry. And Evan, that is not a knock on you at all, because I am guilty and everyone listening is guilty at some level of something that becomes idolatry.
But I just want to show you for my own benefits, so that I could see it. I could leave this podcast myself and I could learn from my for myself, because I'm just like you, brother, I'm just like you. But I want to show it like when you Sometimes you show it and you shine a light on a situation that's been in the dark. You shine a light on it and you go, oh, that's yeah, that's idolatry.
For so many years I worked in bars playing music, and it was always it was always really uncomfortable when you show up to a bar to load in soundtrack, you bring your gear in, you're unloading the trailer, and you go into the bar at like ten o'clock in the morning, and all the lights on are on, and the windows are open, and the doors are open, and the garage door bays are open, and lights just pour
an end to this bar. And it's then you see the dinge and the dirt and the stink and the rotten beer smell, and the spider webs and the cobwebs in the corners, and the dirt on the floor, and the mud on the rug, and the filthy stalls in the bathroom. You see it with all the light pouring in there. These are things you don't see at midnight when it's dark. And so that's sometimes this podcast does that. It's shining light on your situation right coming right out
of that other question. And so first of all, you're on snapchat. Let me just shine some light right on. Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna show the pot on this podcast. I'm gonna show the cobwebs and all, and the dirt and all, not to knock you, but just to shine light for all of us to see. You're talking to a girl on Snapchat. You've never met her, you're scared to tell her you like her because you're scared to lose.
A girl that you've never met, that you only talked to on Snapchat, you're scared to lose, and she, this girl on Snapchat that you've never met, that you're scared to lose, has helped you through difficult times, and you've become reliant on her to get you through difficult times. A girl that you're scared to lose, that you've never met, who you talked to on Snapchat since August twenty fourth,
which is like two months. Okay, so there's so do We're shining some light in a really dark place, and I hope, I hope, once again, no judgment here, because I'm the same And if you were going to get a flashlight and shot shining in a my life, you'd see some stuff, right, You'd see some cobwebs. And so that's not I'm not trying to knock you. I want to. I'm want to make a thousand percent sure you know that I'm the same way, But I just want to
show you, man, how crazy this sounds. You're reliant on a girl you've never met You've only talked to on Snapchat for two months, and she's helped you through difficult times, and you're too scared to tell her that you like her. So here's what you do. Let's get practical, Evan. You go, hey, no more than snapchat, give me your number. I got something to tell you. And then you call her and you go, hey, Snapchat was great for us getting the meeting, but now that I hear your voice, I want to
tell you something. I want to meet you in person. When can we do it. We'll go to coffee, we'll go to dinner, we'll go grab a movie. I just want to. I want to. I'll drive, I'll pick you up, I'll meet you whatever. I just want to see your face in person. And then you meet her in person for the first time, you're seeing her with your own eyes, in real life, and you just say, I want to tell you. As awkward as this sounds, and I'm sorry,
I just want to be vulnerable. I'm really nervous right now and this is something I couldn't tell you on Snapchat because I was too nervous. But it takes a lot of courage for me to just tell you I like you. I like you, and I hope you like me too, And if you don't like me, I don't want to lose you as a friend either, and I'm scared of that. And maybe that's the reason I waited so long to tell you, because I just didn't want
to lose you as a friend. Because, to be honest with you, I've had some difficult stuff happened in my life and you make me smile. You get me through it. I know that sounds crazy because it's only been two months and on Snapchat, and I've never met you in person. I know it's crazy, but it's just the truth. You could tell me, and I'm an idiot. You could tell me I'm crazy and at least least we'll just get it out on the table, shine some light on it.
But in the meantime, I wanted to throw it out there. I like you. If you like me back, maybe we could do this again sometime, grab some coffee. Evan. It's just that's it. There's no magic formula. It's just honesty, just telling her how you feel, not on snapchat. Next question, subdecline says unsettling marriage, and the email says, hey, grangeoud like to remain Anonymous on this one. I'm twenty three years old. My fiance and I live together in our
own house. We've been together for seven years since high school. We have a day set next year to get married, but over the years we have definitely both changed. I'm not myself anymore, and I feel as if I can't be myself around her. I feel like I have to live by the way she wants me to be, and she won't listen when I try to give her hints on how I feel. I really don't want to get married because it does not feel right at the moment.
I would also feel horrible to call off the wedding scene that her father has already paid for the venue and advice would be appreciated. Things Anonymous shining some light in your bar, and I hope you see, buddy, let me say Let me say it again. I don't think I could say it enough on this podcast that I am no better than you. All I am is I'm seeing it from the outside and you're on the inside.
I'm seeing it completely unbiased. I have I have no reason to love you more than the girl, or the father, or any or your friend. I don't know any of y'all. So I'm just looking from the outside and I'm appreciating an email that you opened up, and I'm going, here's the way I see it. So you are, you're heading towards a marriage that's not gonna work. You already see it, and you're worried that the dad already paid for the venue, and so maybe you should stay. You see how crazy
that sounds. You're risking a life with a loveless, unhappy marriage, bringing children into the world, getting divorced, and then ruining the kids with this divorce essentially because of a wedding venue was already paid for by her dad. Uh uh No, that's not even a that's not even a let's think about that for a second. That's not a let's weigh the options. Let's get a pen and paper and write
the pros and cons. That's a no. You go talk to the dad tomorrow, the day you hear this podcast, as soon as possible, you say, Hey, I'm gonna call off this wedding. I'm so sorry. I feel like I feel like we've grown apart and you deserve someone that is not wavering in his decision about loving you. And I'm gonna go see your dad and I'm gonna have lunch with him. I'm gonna just say, mister so and so, we're calling off the wedding. How could I help with
this venue? I know you already paid for it. You probably lost your deposit, and I wanna I wanna help. I wanna pay for the deposit. It's seven hundred dollars. Wow, it's a lot of cash. But I'm gonna man up. This is on me. I'm gonna man up and I'm gonna pay this deposit because sir, that's not it's not your problem. So yes, sir, I'm gonna it's gonna take me a few months to save up the seven hundred bucks. I made that number up, by the way. I'm save up some cash and I'm gonna pay you one hundred
bucks a month for seven months if that's okay. If I get a little bit more, i'll give you another chunk. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience, sir, and I'm terribly sorry that I broke your daughter's heart. But to be completely honest, I would rather break hearts and have to pay seven hundred dollars than to get into a loveless marriage that causes a lot more problems around the whole family. And I'm just thinking about the whole the big picture here, sir.
And I know your daughter's a great girl and she's gonna find someone that's just going to love her wholeheartedly. But that guy's not me, Okay, I mean there it is. Don't be crazy about this. If anyone else is in a similar situation, don't be crazy. I'll take a break. You're right back. So excited to tell you, guys, I got a brand new album out. It's called Moonrise. We just dropped it last week and it's the soundtrack for a new movie I have coming out December fifteenth, also
called Moonrise. You could listen to the music wherever you love to hear music, whether that's Apple or Spotify or Pandora or YouTube, whatever it might be. Wherever you like to hear music, you could hear it there. So go stream it. That helps me a lot, and then tell me what song you like the most. Comment below on whatever platform you're using and gave me some feedback so I know what songs to add to the setlist. In twenty twenty three. The movie comes out December fifteenth, called Moonrise.
It is streaming on Pureflix, so make sure you're ready to go with Pureflis and I hope you love it and I can't wait for you to see it. Also, this time of year, you know, is really big for Cameo. That's cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. That's where you find me and I can make you a personalized video message for whoever you want. And that's really popular here
because it's a Happy Holidays, Marry Christmas. It's an easy gift that you can get for someone that you love me giving them a quick shout out or saying whatever you want, and it requires you don't have to go out to the mall to do it. You just do it right there on your phone. You could also get the Cameo app and search for me Granger Smith, and I will say whatever you need me to say for whoever you want me to say it to. Super easy
and a really great gift for me to give. I've done hundreds of these and I would love to do one for you. Go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith. Back to the podcast. Okay, welcome back to the podcast, one hundred and sixty fourth episode. Here's your questions. First one, and this is ironically the subject line on this one says not a question or no no, It says not
a relationship question. Okay, here we go. Email says Granger just wanted to start by saying your podcast is a huge encouragement to me and help strengthen my walk with Christ. Love the practical and biblical advice you sh with everyone. Next time you're up in Maine, I hope to meet with you. Sounds good. So I have a three bedroom house I own and rent to two other guys. One is twenty six, has a career, and pays a standard amount for rent a month. The other guy is seventeen
years old. I've been friends with him for a few years now that I met in church. He never has had the best home life, so I always told him if he needed a stable place to stay, my home is always open. He kind of just wanted. He kind of just showed up one day and never left, and I told him that he had to pay less than half of what the other guy is paying in rent because he only works part time being in school. When he turns eighteen and graduates, should he let me read
this right? When he turns eighteen and graduates. Should I raise his rent to a round the same amount as the other guy. I don't need the money, but I think it's important for him to learn and pay a realistic amount for a place to live. Thanks a bunch, Caleb, Caleb, thanks for the email. Man shout out, it's a Maine. I loved that place. And take you up on that offer and maybe see you one of these days. Yeah, great question, great scenario. I'm glad you brought it up,
and I'm glad you asked it. And it's a very thought provoking. You sound like a good dude being able to rent out your house. I would much rather you rent out your house to these guys like this than to live with your girlfriend for seven years and then it turns into a loveless engagement. Just saying, interesting situation. You got a guy you brought in from church and he the guy just needed a break, He needed to catch a break, and you were there to give him one.
Really cool and he's also young, so what a great opportunity for him to go and pay a low amount. I think that's great and I think it's a good idea that when he graduates that you raises rent to the same amount as the other guy. It's only fair to the other guy. Here's the thing, this is just about communication. The earlier you could tell him this, the better, and the more details you can give, the better. And this is tough love to this guy because you've obviously
really given him a break. You've helped him out a ton. So it's it's not it's not your responsibility to help him out more. But now, just like you said, he needs to he needs to be he needs to be pushed out and taught a valuable life lesson with with love. And so what you do is you sit him down and you give him a lot of cushion. You just say, hey, you graduate in eight months, could I could I sit down with you? I wrote some stuff up, just informally wrote some stuff up, and I'd love to talk about
it in terms of you stay in here. And he's like, yeah, sure. So you go in and you print this out and you make it look nice and neat, and you sit them down, you know, around the dinner table, and you go, okay, so you're going to graduate and you're gonna get a job, and when you do that, I need you to pay the same amount of rent as this other guy, and I wanted to give you eight months advance just so you know it's coming. And if you don't pay it, here's the penalty. Or if you're late on a payment,
here's the penalty. If you miss a payment completely, here's the penalty, and here's the consequence. And if you miss so many in a row, then there's going to be a viction. And brother, I love you, man, and I support you, and I'm so happy with what you've done and the turnaround that you've made in your life. And so what I'm doing now is just kind of easing you into what a normal landlord would do. Any normal landlord that you find it's going to have these similar rules.
And he's like, yeah, man, cool, Then you go, can you sign right here? And then you get him to sign it. It's important that he signs it. This is a binding contract that you may or may not actually have to use one day against him, but it's not in a negative sense. It's teaching him. This kid, he's turning eighteen, this is what a contract is. And this is what you would sign in an apartment or any
kind of rent house or duplex or whatever. It's gonna be just like this, and I'm doing it as a friend to show you, to get you on your feet. Communication is the key. As many details as you could think of. Because here's another thought. You got to think about. What if he graduates and doesn't immediately get a job. What if he doesn't graduate and go straight into a job. So these are little things you're gonna have to think
about and go. By the way, if you don't get a job within three months of graduating, just making this up, then then the rent still goes up. I'll give you a three month cushion until you get the job, but after ninety days the rent goes up, regardless if you have the job or not. Because he might think I'm graduating, I'm gonna relax for a little bit without getting a
full time job. Maybe he thinks that. So you just want to write in those kind of details, put it in writing, and make him sign it, file it away, and remind him every once in a while, how's the job search coming. Remember we're going to jack the rent up. I think it's great that you're doing that. Next question subject line says I do question mark. Hey Grander, my name is Ty. I live in San Antonio, a huge fan of everything you do and stand for. My question
is simple. I've been with my girlfriend, whom I love for almost eight years. How do I know when it's the right time to get married? We don't have any kids. We're still figuring out things down here as far as jobs and whatnot, but we love each other. Any advice would be great, man, love your brother. Thank you, ty ty eef. I don't like this question, Tye, Hey, ty, I don't like this question. You listen to me, you under you know me by now? You know me by now?
Tie you know what I'm gonna say? What What do you mean? How do you know when's the right time to get married? You've been with their eight years? What more do you need to know? What could I tell you? What could I possibly tell you sitting behind this microphone that you don't already know after almost a decade of dating her? Well, what's the deal? Why would you wait that long? Eight years? Brother? I mean, kid, you don't have any kids? Thank god you don't have any kids.
I mean that would make things a lot more complicated. Think of every other question I have to answer on here. Jobs? What about the jobs? What does that have to do with getting married. I mean, maybe you're you're living with in mom's basement and you need a job to get an apartment before you can get married, and you'll live. Okay, I get that, But what if you are you're on
your own. What's the big deal with jobs? Like financial hardship at the beginning and buying ramen noodles and and rationing money together and pulling money together and counting pennies like that's that's that's part of the fun of an early marriage, Like that's part of the adventure and learning. And then decades go by and you look back on those days when you didn't have much and you go,
look what we did with not much together. We pulled our money together, and we fought through this together, and well look what we built. Look at this family, Look at the kids we have now sitting around the table
at Thanksgiving. It's part of it. You know, there is no set rule on you need to have so much money in the bank account, you need to have so much in the in in your savings, you need to have this so many promotions in the corporate ladder before you get married, because you want to be stable and have everything neatly tied so that then you get married and it's like good. I mean no, that's not part of it. There's when we're talking about kids, that's okay,
that's different. I could see there's we got to wait for this and this to happen before we have kids. We gotta wait for til we get a three bedroom house where get the kids could have their own bedroom, or we gotta wait till we get out of this apartment. I get that, But marriage, what are you talking about? Dude? Eight years is way too long for her too, Like that's just way way too long. If okay, here's the last thing I'll say. This is the scary part of
your question. This is this is scary. Tie. If you have to ask me, after eight years, how do I know when the right time to get married is? I would say, if you have to ask, maybe she's not the right one, because when you meet the right one, you go. I will do everything I can to wrap this up as fast as possible and put a ring on her finger. I hope she's not listening. Maybe she is, but it's worth a question. If you have to ask when's the time to get married? You might even be
you might be past that already. Maybe she's not the right one. Interesting, right, nice question, Sebi Gline says, podcast question. Email says, Hey Granger, I've had a crush on this guy for about four years. He's athletic, caring, funny, loves Jesus, pretty much checks all the boxes. Everyone has been wanting us to get together for years. But when I'm with him, I just don't have fun. I can't help but think I like the idea of being with someone more than him.
What should I do? And will I know when someone is the right person for me? Wow? What a crazy back to back email. That is crazy. This one came right after that other one. Let me read that back part again. What should I do? And how will I know when someone is the right person for me? Hmm, maybe you should talk to ty Ty. I found your soulmate. I'm kidding. Don't don't do that. Soulmate's pagan. Don't listen to me. Okay, So are you saying you're anonymous? No?
Your name is Madison, Madison, thank you so much for email. And I'm confused and I'm confused and why you started your this email with I've had a crush on this guy for four years, but when you're with him, you don't have fun. I don't understand that. Okay, so you're gonna have to help me with that. Bear with me. I don't understand part of your question, but the the basic idea is he checks all the boxes. He's a
good dude, athletic, carrying, funny, love Jesus. Okay, but you don't have fun with you with when you're with him, and you can't help but think you like the idea of being with someone more than with him. Okay, So what do you do and how will you know it's the right person? You just know. You don't have to ask me. You don't have to email the Granger Smith podcast and ever ask me, how do I know when I'm in love? Or when it's time to get married
or when when when you know? You know, like, you don't have to ask me, because that's something that you were born with, that manifests inside of you, that goes I'm in I'm all in, and every fiber of your being says I'm in love. And I will sacrifice what I got going on that that brings enjoyment for myself. I will sacrifice my bachelor pad, I will sacrifice my buddies or my whatever bachelor habits. I will sacrifice and put that to death for this new life that I
want to share with someone. And it's I don't care about the state of education I'm in or the job search I'm in. I will sacrifice all this because this is the person I love and I want to spend the rest of my life with them. And that person doesn't have to check a box. That's what it's crazy, right, Like you could fall in love with someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with and they don't have to check any of the boxes you
thought they would have to check. In fact, the more boxes you lay out for yourself, the more you're gonna realize the box has never mattered. You wanted a six foot tall, brown headed, athletic guy, and then you met a five foot eight, blondeheaded non athlete and you love him,
and you're like, how how did I all? Bet that's because I made a box and I thought if I checked it off, But that's because I didn't know him, I hadn't met him yet, that was your guy, And so that's the same thing with this, you know, it's like, forget your boxes, drop all your types, the types. My type is this, My type is that, like I like
guys or girls that do this. Drop your types open yourself up because sometimes you meet people with different hobbies in different styles, and they look different than you or the way you think they should, and then it broadens you and your love gets bigger because of it. Like in a broad sense, you meet someone you think, you think, I love football, and so I'm gonna meet a girl. I have to meet a girl that loves football because I love to share Sunday afternoons with a girl that
loves football. And then you meet a girl and you fall in love and she's never watched football in her life, and so then guess what you get to do? You get to teach her about this sport. You get to teacher about what you love instead of her sitting there wearing a jersey for the Packers and you're wearing a jersey for the Cowboys and you just argue about the game and she's like pass interference and you're like, dang, how did you even know what pass interference is? The
flip side? So that you meet a girl and you're like, let me show you about this game, and then she loves volleyball, and you know nothing about volleyball, and she takes you to a game and you're learning all the rules and you just you guys are just feeding off each other, and you're becoming better because of each other, not because of the boxes you made that you thought they were gonna need a check bottom mind. What I'm saying is you're not with the right guy. So drop
the boxes, drop this guy. Forget about all your friends that are trying to get together for years, and just tell them, sorry, guys, I don't have fun with them. Done. Next question, subject CLIENTE says, please open very important. Hey, it's Seth Taylor from Asheville, North Carolina. I've been listening to you since the start of your brother. My son is six and he has hydrocephalus, which is water on the brain, and he has had twenty brain surgeries and
is in the hospital again not knowing what's wrong. My question would be, how do you deal with the stress and anxiety. I'm a Christian man, but sometimes I feel like it's too much to handle and I don't know how much I can take much. Love, brother Seth, thanks for the email. Great question. I'm so sorry I don't know what it's like to go through a six year
old with twenty surgeries. I don't know what it's like to constantly be hearing bad news from the doctor that your son needs to go back in for more tests. And I don't know what it's like to google hydrocephalus and hear other stories from people and hear bad news. So I'm so sorry. First of all, I just you know, the reason I say that, the reason I even start with that, seth, is because I want to validate that
what you're going through is tough. I want to validate that you're going through something abnormal that you have every right to say. Man, I'm really I'm really stressed about this. Okay, there's no way I would tell you, Ah, you shouldn't be stressed about that. You're good. So we'll start with that. Second of all, we'll go to the Christian man. Then you say, I'm a Christian man, but sometimes it feels like it's too much to handle. I don't know how much I can take. Then I want you to lean
in to what you believe a Christian man is. Fundamentally, what is a Christian man? Is it a perfect man? No? Is it a man that's it's stress free one hundred percent of the time. No. Is it a man that just does nothing but smile and shows joy? No? No, none of that describes a Christian man any moments, days, hours, maybe sometimes. But we read the Bible, which is why it's so important to read. That's why I have to feast on the Bible every day. I don't call myself
a Christian man unless I'm living a Christian life. How do I live a Christian life? Is it by being good works and being perfect? No, it's by being obedient. How do I be obedient? The only way I know how is to read His word every day with a broken heart, so many times, with a mind full of gratefulness and praise to our creator for what he has done and what he promises he will do who he is, and with a broken heart knowing that I'm so far,
so far from being what I need to be. And I live in a broken world with so many other people with broken hearts, like you Seth and your son, Because we live in a fallen world. So that's where the brokenness comes in. And we come broken to the throne. And how do we get to the throne? Well, we got it in our Bibles. We open it up and we just say, God, I come to you broken today. Another day I don't know what to do. Another day
I'm feeling stress and anxiety. And another day I'm reading Matthew eleven twenty eight that says, come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. And I'm reading the promise of Jesus on these pages, and I'm seeing that the different people in these stories are are persecuted, and they're grieving, and they're going through physical pain and emotional pain. And how are they navigating when we read the psalms? The Psalms Seth
saved my life in so many ways. But we we navigate this and we pull out the Psalms that David wrote a lot of, and we read David's writing and we just see, we see all these moments where he's just stressed and full of anxiety and in your words, too much to handle. He doesn't know how much he can take. I see you in the Psalms. But here's the difference. He finishes those with what he knows. He starts it with what he feels, and he ends it with what he knows. But as you lie on God,
you are faithful. You are my rock, my refuge, my fortress. It is you that lay me down in green pastures next to cool clear waters. It is you that protect me with your rod and your staff. Although I'm so stressed and I don't know why, and I don't I don't know why my son's going through, so I don't know how much I can handle. That's how I feel. So then I go back to what I know. I am restored, redeemed, forgiven. These are the things I know. How do I know? Because I read it and I
have to go back every day to this throne. That's all we have. But the thing that's so beautiful it is we see these stories. We see sick children, We see broken parents, We see parents without without children that are that are barren. We see we see breakups and adultery and and stealing and lying, and murder and wars and and people with injuries. We see every kind of affliction and we see how they respond in that affliction. And then for the for the ones that we know
we were people out of God's own heart. For those people, we we align our hearts to them, not because we're better than anyone, or we're more capable than anyone, or we deserve more than anyone. None of it. We don't deserve any of it. But we just align ourselves because we just want, we want the grace. God, give us your grace for one day. Give me today my daily bread, not the lifetime bread, not next week's bread. Just give me. Just give me the bread for today. That's what Jesus
told us to ask for. It's interesting that he said it that way. He didn't say give me the lifetime bread. He said, ask today for your daily bread. And so Seth, when you say I just don't know how much I could take, I could tell you, Seth, you can't take it for tomorrow. You can't take it. That's too much for tomorrow. So you just need grace for today. God, just feel me. Just fill me today with what I need,
the strength I need. This is your prayer, Seth, Give me the strength I need to be there for my son, to be strong, for my son to be listening to the doctors, to hear what they need to tell me with an open mind, so that I know how to administer and I know how to handle my son through his questions and through his pain and through his suffering and through my own, give me the strength to move through that. Not for tomorrow, not for next week, but
just for today, because that's what you promised. You say your mercies are new every morning, and you are faithful. So give give me the daily bread just enough, and tomorrow I'll worry about tomorrow's problems. That is being a Christian man. It's not a label. It's not something you call yourself. It's not something you were born with. It's not something your parents gave you. It's not something your pastor told you. It's not something that you're baptized, and
because of your baptism you became. It's not your identity comes through your creator alone. He makes you a new creature, He changes you, He makes you a Christian man, and you know it because of how you are responding to it. And you respond by going back to the throne, back to the word humble, brokenhearted, hopeful. All at the same time, I'll be praying for you. Seth. Appreciate your brother, love all you guys. See you next Monday. Thanks for joining
me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yie