You can't change the past, you can't do anything about the future. But what you could do is live right now in this moment. And you go, well, what's this moment? I would say aim low start at the foundation of this moment is heartbeat and breathing. And sometimes that's all you have. Sometimes the moment, the present moment you're in is only a heartbeat and a breath, And so what do you do there? Breathe the next one. Hey, guys,
welcome to the granger Smith Podcast. Thank you for coming from wherever you figured out that we had a podcast. Thank you for being here. We do this every single Monday. I answer your questions. Could be about anything in life, whatever it throws at you. We'll talk about it as though we're sitting around a campfire and you come up and you say, hey, man, I go to ask you a question, something that's been kicking around with me for
a long time, or whatever. We will talk about it is like we're old friends, and I hope you feel that way. I'm not always right, but I'll tell you my friend advice to you, and so if you have a question for me, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. I have no idea. What's in the inbox today? I'm gonna randomly go through these. I do not prepare and I'm not ready for what I'm about to read, so
bear with me. We'll start with this one. The subject line says podcast question of the week, Hey Grangeer, what camera do you use for your podcast? My family and I have watched all your episodes of The Smiths and your podcast, and I appreciate you so much. Thank you and yegee, this comes from Max and Hudson, North Carolina. Buddy, thanks for emailing. That's a different question I haven't gotten in a while. I use Sony cameras. In fact, I'm using two of them right now. I'm looking at them.
One of them is the A seven three and one of them is the A seven C. So A seven three and A seven C. I use Sony lenses, Sony cameras. They are the best. If you talk to any any vlogger, most videographers that use a DSLR camera will use Sony as well. So yeah, that's me. Next question says podcast question, Hey Granger, can you give a twenty year old advice about getting married, your first home, and getting starting getting started in life? Whatever you would give thank you, buddy.
This comes from Chandler. Chandler man, I can't totally relate to you. I got married at thirty, so it might have been thirty one, thirty or thirty one some more so I was about ten years past you in this journey. I would my advice to you would be focus on your new wife and not on your new home. I think you could live anywhere and focus on her. And you don't want that financial burden of stepping into something. Stepping into a house that hasn't a little bit extra
payment that you're not sure you could make. It puts pressure on you and her both to make sure that you're bringing home the kind of income that you need. And that's a pressure that you don't want. Early in your twenties, early in any marriage, you don't want a financial pressure. So make sure that wherever you go. And I would not also not recommend living in the basement at your mom's house. Don't do that either, So find
the compromise. Maybe it's a it's a decently priced apartment and a good location where you could walk to get some food or get easily to work. But I wouldn't I wouldn't start thinking about dream homes. I don't like the term dream homes. It's good to dream, and it's good to dream about a home, but don't put a
specific picture to it. That's just my opinion. A lot of people will tell you should manifest what you want in life and man, you know, hang a picture of your dream house on your wall and look at it every day and eventually it'll come to you. I just
I'm not of that school of thinking. I'm more about pouring into your wife, because there's going to be days ahead when you're not able to pour in as well as you can now as a newlywed, and so I would focus on her and not on the house, and not worry about the three kids that are coming in, the dog in the yard, and the fence for the dog in the yard, and the you know. I would think as present as you can, and remember that you're married to your wife, not to the place that y'all live.
For instance, you could move into an apartment and when your leases up in six to twelve months, you can get out of that apartment, and more than likely you will amber and I moved several times, so you're not
making a commitment to your life right now. Eventually the kids are here, you're ten years down the road, you're going to start thinking more long term, and you're going to think about the schools and the high school that they're going to go to, and the education that they're going to get in the friends that are around them in the neighborhood. But right now, they're not here. So you're as present as possible, and you pick the place that takes the least financial burden but still is nice
and safe for your small family. Focus on her. I think that the question could end there, but thank you, brother. Flipping around here, no idea, what's coming up the subject, client says, trying to move on. Hey, Granger Smith, I just started to listening to your podcast, but I've been a longtime fan. I'm twenty five years old. I lost my dad a little over three years ago, and I've
been struggling with this loss greatly since then. But about two months ago I dealt with another thing, a big heartbreak. We met after I lost my dad and dated for about a year and a half and we talked about marriage and a future together. We began to grow apart after I lost my job to COVID. I'm struggling with what now feels like another big loss. Because we were best friends. It seems so easy for him to move on, but for me, I don't know how to move on.
I'm hoping you could give me some guidance from you and maybe finding my way back to God after these losses. Thanks so much, Marissa. Marissa, You've got a lot going on at twenty five. You're dealing with grief, you're dealing with heartbreak, and you're dealing with the loss of a job to COVID. That's the trifecta and you're right in the middle of it. So first of all, I just want to acknowledge the pain that you're having in the
struggle you're having is real and it's okay. So whatever you're feeling right now is okay to feel that way. You're not abnormal to think this. You're not abnormal to think because of three years that you should be good past your dad. You're not abnormal to think that after two months of a heartbreak you should be good. Same thing with losing a job to COVID. That's another loss, and grief and heartbreak are close brothers, and you have a little bit of both of those. With losing your job.
So don't minimize any of this, but do realize it's a season, and this whole season will pass. And anytime we go through these hard seasons, we realize that we're getting better because of the season. We come out the
other side better because of it. And I use this analogy all the time, but if you think about football, you think about a team that wins the Super Bowl and they hold up the trophy at the end, and some of the guys are crying when they're holding up the trophy, and you think, why are these grown men crying over a stupid trophy. Well, it's not because of the trophy, and it's really not because of the win either.
They're crying because of the struggle that they overcame, the adversity that they got passed to get to this moment, to the victory moment. That's what makes any victory sweeter is because of the struggle. We are always better because of the struggle. And you will be better because of this struggle. You will learn, you will overcome, you will endure this hardship in this adversity. Because how do I
know that, Because that's what humans do. We have a history of doing this, going through the darkest times and piecing things back together one puzzle piece at a time, and we rebuild, and we rebuild stronger. That's hard to hear right now. You hear that and you go, great, those are great words. But I'm in the valley. I can't see the peak right now. Well, life is never only in the valley or only on the peak. Most
of it is in the trees right in between. And we just need to keep our eyes up moving forward. That's what we do. So if you have that kind of mentality, like, man, I'm in pain today, I'm really sad today, I'm really grieving today, I'm really insecure today. The no, that's just today. You got to know this is the moment I'm in. But tomorrow the sun's gonna come up and I'm gonna have new opportunities and I'm gonna be able to use what happened to me for
my advance. Say you're interviewing for a job and the boss is saying, tell me about your life. What he's getting at is what he wants to know really through that question is what struggles have you gone through that you overcame? Because that's what I want for this company. The answer is that he doesn't want to hear is man. I just everything in my life just falls into place. Everything's been good. I mean, everything I've ever done just works out, and I just keep growing. That's just no
one really wants to hear that story. No one writes a book like that, no one makes a movie like that. People want to hear that you struggled, you had adversity, you overcame, and you became better because of it. That's what the world wants to hear, because that is that's the human story. So you're making yours right now. You're
in the story. You're in your future story that you will tell one day and somebody goes, hey, Marissa, I'm having problems and you can go let me hear them, let me see if I could help work through these problems with you. And they're gonna say, Marissa, but do you even know what I'm going through? And you go, let me tell you about twenty twenty when I lost my job, I lost a close relationship, and I lost
my dad, all within a four year period. And let me tell you that I'm not the person, I'm not the woman I am today without those hardships think of yourself in that situation, but to dig a little bit deeper in the heartbreak. This heartbreak is tougher for you because you bonded after you lost your dad. This guy, whoever he was, he helped you understand all these these crazy thoughts and feelings and grief that you had. He
helped walk through that and decompress it with you. So when you lost him, you lost a piece of your dad again. So that's why this heartbreaks a little bit tougher, and knowing that helps you understand it more so when you're laying there late at night and you go, I miss him, I miss my boyfriend. I miss him, and then the other side of your brain goes, let me tell you a little bit more about why you do. And that's the voice of reason that you can go, yeah, yeah,
I understand why I miss him. It's not just random, it's not just a piece of pain that's different than anything else I've ever gone through. It makes sense, It matters, Okay. I wish you the best. Thank you for emailing. This podcast is sponsored by Better Help You Know. People don't always realize that physical symptoms like headaches, teeth grinding, and
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want to. It's much more affordable than in person therapy, so give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Grangersmith podcast listeners get ten percent off their first month at better help dot com. Slash granger that's better Help B E. T. T. E R H E LP dot com slash granger subject lines help, Hey grangdeer. I messaged you on Instagram, but I know you got a lot. I know that was a long shot, and I thought I would have a better chance sending
you this email. I lost my sweet baby boy, Lane Evans Wallace on Friday. He just turned four months old. I want to give up, but I know that he wouldn't want that. I know he's in a better place, but I still don't know how to move forward. He was my world. I know you've been through this and I know it doesn't get any harder than this, but I just need to know when will it ever get easier and when will I be okay again? Question comes
from Billy Wallace. Billy, I'm so sorry, brother. This email came in March, so you are at the end of March, so you're about a month separated from when this happened, and I would imagine that you have a better understanding now after the month that's gone by when you hear this podcast. But the answer it's not going to be that different than the last question I just read for because the only thing you can do, Billy is stay as present as you can. You can't change the past,
you can't do anything about the future. But what you could do is live right now in this moment. And you go, well, what's this moment? I would say, aim low start at the foundation of this moment is heartbeat and breathing, and sometimes that's all you have. Sometimes the moment, the present moment you're in, is only a heartbeat and a breath, and so what do you do there? Breathe the next one and you go, Granger, that's just too simple.
I'm telling you, I've been through this, and sometimes the most present moment you could be in has the most peace in it. I believe that God lives presently with us because God is outside of space and time. So God, God doesn't live only in the past, and he doesn't only live in the future. He lives with us right now. In fact, the Bible says, I am tell them my name as I am, meaning I am presently with you.
I'm right here in this moment. I think I believe that's where God exists, and I believe once we get to that moment, that's where in constant chaos around us, the chaos of what's coming, the chaos of what just happened. The most peace is right here. Sometimes that means, to be more specific, I could be driving in my truck and I need to be present, so I want to feel the steering will in my hands. I want to feel what does that leather feel like under my palms. Literally,
that's how present you can get. I'm not gonna worry. I'm not gonna worry. I got this thing coming up, I'm not gonna worry about it. I got this thing that just happened. I'm not gonna think about it because I'm not there in either of those situations. I'm right here. I got my hands clapped around this steeringwhell. I'm holding this steeringwhell. That's what I'm doing. I feel my foot on the accelerator pedal. I am so present. There's the
next breath. That's how present I am. There's another breath, and live there as long as you can. Don't allow yourself to go in the past, don't allow yourself to worry about the future. Stay in the present. You can't live here because then you couldn't plan, and you couldn't learn from the past, and you couldn't plan for the future. But when things are tough when the world is closing in, as you said, when you just don't want to be here anymore, be in the present and feel the calm
of that, feel the peace of that. There's a lot more to this answer, but right now I feel like that's the one you need to hear, and then we'll touch base on where to go from there. Okay, subject line here says stay or dump. Hey, Grangeer, my name is Ellie. I'm fourteen years old. Oh excuse me, this is Eli. My name is Eli and I'm fourteen years old. I'm from Nicholsville, Kentucky, and I have a really big
hobby sport that I attend. I'm on the high school trap shooting team in Kentucky, and my best friends I've known forever have stopped supporting me because the sport has shotguns in it. I'm at a loss if I should just ignore them and still be friends or get rid of them and welcome new friends into my life. That's not what I was expecting from the subject line saying stay or dump, Eli. Thanks for emailing buddy, Thanks for
listening to the podcast. Fourteen Man, you got a lot a lot changing right now at age fourteen, a lot. A lot of things are going to change over the next six months, A lot of things are going to change in two years when you're sixteen. A whole lot's going to change by the time you turn eighteen, and you're fourteen. You're fourteen now, and by the time you turn eighteen. So this shotgun thing that's so interesting to me,
I think I would lead with this, Eli. I would lead by the friends that you've known for a long time. I would ask you to help explain how you love trap shooting on this team, and how passionate about it you are. Explain to them the purpose of the shotgun in this activity and the joy and happiness you get out of it. And you're kind of good at it, right, You wouldn't be doing this unless you're pretty good at it, So explain to them too, Like, man, I'm actually pretty
good at it and I love it. And I would love for you guys to come and visit me one day and watch me shoot. And I think if you watched me, the whole idea that you're having problems with would slowly go away because you would see, Hey, this is a sport and you guys are my friends. I love you guys, Man, I love hanging out with you. You guys have been there for me. I've been there for you. I feel a bond with you, guys, And because I love this sport, I want you guys to
enjoy it with me. So can you just come and watch now? Eli? If those guys say absolutely not, you do that, we're not friends? Okay, good, Well there's your answer. You know, it's like, really like, I love this and there's nothing technically wrong with it and this is a passion of mine. If you don't, then maybe we're growing a part as friends, which happens at fourteen, Like maybe we're not as close as I thought we were. Maybe our ideas are not as aligned as I thought they were.
So at that point, guess where you're gonna find friends? At trapshooting? That's pretty easy. You're gonna see guys out there that love what you love and you're gonna say, hey, I'm Eli, you love this, and they're gonna go, yeah, I love it. You go. We should do this more often. We should go and grab some pizza tonight. Yeah, I love pizza. Let's do it. Let's grab a movie. Boom, you got new friends and slowly day by day those
will become good friends. Now, I'm not telling you have to give up on the other guys, but you just need to understand it. If they don't want to be friends with you because of this thing that you do, which I believe is not a bad thing, maybe they weren't friends to begin with. Sometimes think about Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out by rating this
podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Ye