#124 Do you want to heal?

to do this? Somebody else here, I think, So I got to look this way right, Okay, yeah, faster Chad sitting to my left and one of one of our our few multi repeat guests. And everyone loves you. I go to meet and greets and they're like, hey, tell pastor Chad, Hi really yeah, that's cool. Everyone loves you and Bernie so so welcome back. I had a fan experience. I've never had a half outside of my kids and

my wife. So I was in the coffee shop here in town and I was getting ready to meet with somebody, and I'm in this coffee shop affair amount and I'll have meetings or appointments or one on ones there and so I'm standing in line and this guy is kind of looking at me, and I figure he's probably looking

at somebody behind me. So I kind of looked behind me and I realized, no, he's he's locked on right, he's he sees me and I'm and so I kind of look away and I pretend like I'm looking at the menu, although I know exactly what I'm going to go, what my order is. So I'm standing there and I noticed that on my peripheral. He gets up and he starts making his way towards me, and I was like, I wonder if he's waiting on somebody. And he comes

up and he goes, are you pastor Chad? And so now I'm thinking, well, maybe maybe he's somebody that's new to the church and I just haven't met him yet. And he goes because I heard you on Granger Smith podcast, and I was like, really, And I thought about in the moment, well, not in the moment, but afterwards, I should have got his autograph, To get the autograph of my first like the first person that recognized me, Well, I could attest a lot of people feel that way.

They're just not all of them are in Georgetown, Texas. They're all it was a neat experience. Well, everyone loves you. And the format of this podcast is we answer your questions the listener email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com and we will. We'll jump right into it, Chad and are going to answer it like the three of us are sitting around a campfire and you walk up and you go, you know, something's been on my mind. Can I run this by you? And it could be about

any subject. As you'll see today, we have a lot, so I have I have someone cue. I'm just going to randomly hit them, Okay, and then I'm going to ask you to read some subject lines and see which one. Okay, I'm gonna start with this one. Once again, we don't have notes in front of us. I don't know, I don't know what's about to hit us. But this one subject line is is my chance ruined? Hey Grangeer, I'd like to stay anonymous. Sixteen years old. I love your

podcast and your music. I'm born and raised in a Christian home, basically memorized every verse in the Bible, and I know every answer to every question. It's pretty much been ingrained in me. I have not been rebellious or anything like that, but I've fallen away from God during that I did not save myself for marriage. I know that I love God and I will love him for the rest of my life. But now my question is whether a godly, fantastic woman would want to be with me?

Will I have to be with someone who's already made the same mistakes as me? With gratitude, mister anonymous sixteen, Thanks for emailing. Thanks for emailing. It's a good question. I want to I want to first. I want to first address the way you asked it, because everyone is this is not me, this is not Chad, this is everyone that's listening is thinking to themselves. You're sixteen, and you have every answer already figured out. You've already memorized

every verse in the Bible. Buddy, we got to start with air. We got we gotta start there before we go into the main part of the question. But then, the reason, the reason I want to start there is

because that could be the root of other problems. In fact, it probably is because when we when we read through the Bible, we see we see only a few themes that that resurface in all sixty six books over and over, and it's it's we're thankful that there's only a few because it keeps the entire canon cohesive to each other, and and it pulls everything together so that we could read Matthew and there and then go back and read Exodus, and we could find similarities in that way. So there's

a few things. And one of those very few things is be humble. You gotta be humble, humble yourself to God. Don't ever think about telling God in a prayer. I've got it all figured out. I've got all the answers, and I've memorized every verse. What else? What else do you have for me? God? You know? And and maybe you do. Maybe maybe you're just a just a complete prod prodigy. I don't think you are no offense. But maybe you have every you have the whole Bible memorize,

like that movie a book of eli book. Maybe you have the whole book memorized. So then you still go to God with a humble heart, and you go, I've memorized these words, but show me the wisdom behind them. Show it to me so that it's revealed deeper to me as I get older, as I as I learned to as I crave to understand you more. So I'm gonna start with just just that humbleness of coming to comingto this and come into this problem and coming to you and just going for you just to say I

am broken, I'm a sinner. God, I have nothing without you, humble me before you enlarge my heart so that so I could better understand my depravity, my brokenness. And you'll see that if you go through the Psalms. You see this over and over with King David. King David was so humble in the heart, and he was he was such a servant of God that God so many times rewarded him with so many, so many blessings, and his son Solomon with so many blessings because of that humbleness.

When when when God asked Solomon, what do you want, I'll give you anything, and he said, I just want wisdom to understand you. And God said, because of because you asked for wisdom, I'm going to give you much more than that. We see that theme reoccurring all the way through Jesus, in the New Testament and through the Epistles. So I want to start there and just make sure and I don't Buddy, I don't think you meant it

in any arrogant way. I think you're trying to tell me and Chad that you understand the different doctrines and you understand the different concepts. But now we're going to dig into what your question is, which reveals that maybe you don't totally understand the doctrines, especially that of total depravity and forgiveness, and the fact that we are all fallen. And it doesn't take your email for you to tell

us what you did. It doesn't take that for us to already know that you're already a sinner and that you already have plenty of things that you will be doing that you will mess up as you go on your journey from sixteen forward. But Chad, do you want to jump in? Yeah? I think I mean to highlight what you've said Granger, that humility is a theme and the proper response of any human before a mighty God. And so humility is where it begins Micah six 's eight.

If you've got that verse memorized, then you know it well right. The idea of and priority of seeking kindness, loving justice, and walking humbly with your God. That's what he requires of us, and that's what He desires for us. And so beginning with that humility and that humility is a right understanding of who I am. I am a broken sinner in need of grace, and grace implies that it's not a gift that I deserve. And so that's what you're wondering. If God can be gracious about my situation?

Is there any woman out there that can be gracious about my situation? And so you've got to understand and believe that. Man, if you go to God with humility and brokenness and say I messed up big time, please, please Lord help me. We know that the blood of Christ washes you clean and that you stand as a

new creation in Christ. There anything that we learn about the Gospel, it's that God is a god of second chances and third and fourth and fifth, and that repentance is the regular normal activity of a Christian to say, yep, I see the sin in my life. I see that as sin, I call it sin, I repent, I turn from it to Christ and follow him. And so, yes, this is what's going on. But what your fear is is that there's no godly woman out there that will exercise the same kind of grace. And my question is,

what if the roles were reversed. What if you had saved yourself and you met an amazing, amazing girl and you guys started dating, and you find out although she loves the Lord, this thing in her past that she did not wait. How would you respond? Because that's a heart check. Have you do you truly accept and receive the grace of God? And are you truly humbled about

your own brokenness? Because I guarantee there are women out there that are that gracious, that do enjoy the gift of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and are giving grace and forgiveness. But I wonder if you wrestle with that yourself. That's so good that you you've kind of categorized, mister anonymous.

You've kind of categorized women into two categories, A godly fantastic woman and someone who's already made mistakes like you, And and hey, I want you to I want you to consider that you could have both, that there are both, and and there's many there's many people listening right now, raising their hand. Hopefully everyone is raising their hand. Going me, I've made mistakes, but I could still be a godly,

fantastic person. And I think Pastor Chad, you know, he just nailed it that that either you you could find a fantastic to godly woman that has waited, or you can find a fantastic, godly woman that has made mistakes but it's now repented. And I want you to I want you to open your mind. I think I think Chad and I both kind of think that there's probably other things going on underlying. And I don't blame you

at all because you're sixteen. You know, I walked through the age sixteen like I had horse blinders on it. I couldn't see anything around me. I was just walking, you know, like this, like I only thought about football and guitar. And that's okay, because those blinders are going to start peeling away, and you're going to start seeing more and more of the world, and you're gonna start understanding more of the world. And that's just a good thing.

So I appreciate your brother, and thanks thanks for kicking off this podcast. Yeah, good question. Let me let me throw out a couple to you. What's the right path ideas on how to propose our country life. We propose propose fun right into it. Huh yeah, okay, says Granger. I love your music and I love you take you use your platform to spread the gospel. I've been lucky enough to attend your last concert of twenty twenty one and Lincoln, Nebraska, and your first concert in twenty twenty

two in Columbus, Ohio. Even I even able to attend Adventure Church and listen to your sermon. Your message was actually something I needed to hear at that time. I hope that I could be an encouragement when I say that it's evident that you're being used by God to continue on. Thank you very much, brother, he says. So I'm looking to propose and wondering if you and your guest have any ideas on how to do so. I

have several ideas in mind, but just not sure. One of them is to do it at your concert whenever you come to Nebraska. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. This is Jerry. Okay, Well, you've got the idea of going to Paris. I mean kind of like Parker, just rock and roll, Eiffel Tower romance. But if that's not in your budget, man, Jerry, this to me, this is a this comes down to the personality of the girl in a lot of ways, yes, and you'll you know her, does she like is she the kind of girl that

would love her parents to be there? And it's like at you know, Christmas Eve and everyone's having dinner and the cousins are in town and your grandmother's there. Is maybe she's that kind of girl. Or maybe she's a girl that doesn't really like a lot of attention brought on her that makes her uncomfortable and she she would rather a nice stroll in the park and you get

down on a knee. That's actually what I did. Amber and I were taking a walk and got in front of a church and I took a knee And that's Amber's personality. Like, Amber is not the kind of girl that like that wants a surprise birthday party. She would she would not like that. She would get mad at me afterwards, like why did you put me through that awkward situation surprise birthday party? So some girls like, you know, to be at the football game and you do it

on the jumbo tron, They just love it. They will remember that the rest of their lives. But it really it really comes down to her and what you're willing to sacrifice with her personality. I think that's spot on because the either you're going to prioritize yourself and is this proposal about you and how that makes you look and kind of as the as you imagine retelling this story in years to come, and you know, is it is it about kind of you? Or does it prioritize her?

And what would be the biggest win for her? How would she feel in that moment? How would she retell this story? How do you want this toy story to be retold? And who's the biggest priority? Is you think about that and it should be her. She's the priority. She's the princess. And so think in terms of man, how do you want her to retell the story? Or how would she be most excited about retelling this story to other people? And what makes her most feel most

loved and understood in that moment? Love it? That's good, just saying, Jerry. I have hosted probably hundreds of engagements on our stage. Email Chris at grangersmith dot com. If that's something you're interested in. It is so like free of charge you do that. Yeah, we've done it many times. When we had a single called happens like that. And during the life of that single, Yeah, during the life of that single, it was literally every night, sometimes twice

a night. But would they coordinate with you. They would coordinate with Chris, and they would go on the side of the stage and and they would tell they would tell their girlfriend, Oh, hey, we've been we won these tickets. We've been invited to watch from the side of the stage. But then they didn't know that I was about to call them on during the middle of the song and I'll just hand him the microphone. Just let him do what he needs to do. That's awesome. So that Jerry,

that's that's still there. But make sure that that's something that she's into, like that she's not just going to be petrified by standing in front of all these people and you're on one knee, right, But it's possible. That's cool. I didn't know that was a thing. Congratulations, buddy, that's awesome. Yeah, do you want to hit up you wanna hit up country life? Yeah? Hey, grand your My name is Sam. I'm from Illinois. My family is from the city and

has no experience living in the country. I love hunting and fishing and the idea of living off the land and having a farm or a ranch. How could I start getting into farm and living in the country. Did he say what city he's in from Illinois from? When whenever you're from Illinois you say the city you mean Chicago, Chicago. So I mean there's urban farming for sure. That seems challenging. Yeah,

I mean this is difficult unless we're sitting. We're sitting, you know, at the campfire together, me and you, Sam. But I would say you could always rent, rent a farmhouse and work for somebody. You can always rent a room. I don't know if you have a family or not.

But you know something my dad did. My dad, you know, he was he lived in the city, but he was a country boy at heart, and so he went out on the weekends and he took me and my brothers and we would go to and we leased some land for deer honey, and we would go out, you know, on Friday, and he'd get off work and we'd we would get together and drive out somewhere. So that sometimes you just got to do it. Sometimes your work, that's what your work, you know, only allows you to do.

Not everybody could be a farmer or a rancher unless you're born into that. That costs a lot of money to start ranching. Yeah, and if you were here, I would ask, so what did it? What is it that appeals to you about your perception of this life? Like he's he says he likes to live outdoors, wants to live off the land, hunting, fishing, like outdoor recreation and sports.

And it sounds like unless I want to grow crops and I want to raise animals, and so there's if that's you know, you can go a couple of different roads on that. So yeah, I would just I would get out every weekend you can and get out and do some hunt and fishing and meet people and meet guides and meet different people, like minded people. And eventually years after doing that, you're going to go then that property is for sale. Yeah, I kind of think I

want to do this. Yeah, and just yeah, like find public land if there is some, and throw up a tent and just stay the night out there and just be out there, listening to the sights and sounds and engage it. And then yeah, take more and more trips, or plan an outdoor adventure to Colorado and road trip it because Nebraska or Illinois is not too I mean you can find wilderness, yeah, whether you go north or south or west. But yeah, I get out there and plan like maybe a week long trip and go and

just adventure in public land. Yeah. Absolutely, let's hit Let's hit one more and take a break. What's the right path, it says, Good morning, Granger. My name is Channel. I'm twenty three years old, single mom from Auburn, Nebraska. I first want to say absolutely love everything you do. Thank you very much, she says. So I'm at a crossroads in my life right now. I'll do my best to keep this short but also include the details. Last year, I got into a PTA program and I was injured

and said program. I ended up having surgery at the end of November, and I was forced to take medical leave from the program and I'm unable to return until January twenty twenty three. At first, I was putting all the bad things that happened aside because I wanted so bad to be a PTA. But I'm also feeling now a huge pull of my heart to not go back. In the last year I have I've dove into my faith and believe in God's plan, but it's almost like I'm waiting for a huge flashing sign to tell me

what to do. You always give the best advice, so I'd love to hear your thoughts. This comes from Channel and Chad, what is PTA? I'm guessing physical therapy associate. Okay, yeah, I would think like a she was training to be a physical therapist, which would be a physical kind of job or occupation, so that an injury would kind of derail that. Okay, So you're you're you're asking, let me

summarize this. Channel. You're you're in a job and you have a chance to go back, and you're now doubting your interest in going back and wanting to trust God. But you don't see a huge flashing sign, and so now you're confused. And this is it's a good question, and it's it's very calm, and especially if I summarize it like that, a lot of people could could say that's me. I'm in that. And we've talked about this because it seems like a lot on this podcast. God's Will,

God's plan? What is it? Do I need to wait for the clouds to start creating letters? Do I need a cardinal to fly up to my window with a little yellow string in its mouth, and I realize, oh, yeah, yell, I remember that podcast where people were seeing things in the clouds like they were shaped like words. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

And whenever I get to talk to somebody who's at a crossroads or is considering whether it's a change in occupation or maybe it's the same occupation but they have a new opportunity within that field, you know, some things to consider would be are you are you considering this because you're you're wanting to escape something else, So there's something bad that you want to get out of, and so you're not necessarily drawn to something else you just

want to escape, Or are you going towards something else because there's some clear indication that that's a desire you want to go to that there's nothing necessarily bad about what you're in, but there's something great about the potential of something else. And so it sounds like there's maybe not something bad about returning to what she had, but she's just like, maybe that ship is sailed, maybe I

don't want to do that anymore. And so I think, sifting through some of those things, what's the true motivation for any kind of movement on this is it running from something or running to something. I think is always something to consider. I love that twenty twenty thirty January. That's a long time. So that's good for you. You You don't have to make this decision before spring, you know. So it sounds like she's probably getting insurance money, right,

it sounds like it. Yeah, for a year, you're in a really good spot. And now a lot can change in these twelve months through a lot of prayer, a lot of time spent in the Word, and and and just asking God reveal your will to me. Yeah, and knowing that it's paganism to think he's actually going to write it in the sky. He's not going to write it in the sky. He's going to do it by giving you the desires of your heart. It's it's so

often misunderstood how simple that is. But but if we're if we're in prayer and we're in the Word, then he gives us the desires of our heart. I mean, not if it's fleshly in sin. You'll know the difference. You'll be able to discern that, but you'll you'll go. Man, just all of a sudden, I feel really drawn to teaching. I really want to teach and I really don't really care about physical therapy anymore. That's the desire of your heart that I'm talking about. That's God. God could diminish

some passions and raise others. And you go, and so what do you do at that point? You go one step at a time. You go, I guess I'll get my teaching certificate or I'll make I'll shoot an email off to art the process of my teaching certificate and see if there's any huge roadblocks in that and if and if someone goes, actually we have an extra opening, and you go in and then you go, I love this, and then you and then someone says the Junior highs

hiring a seventh grade teacher. You'll see things like this start to happen. And in the good news for you, as you you have twelve months. No, that's the greatest gift right now that she has time to explore what

passions she has that can become a paycheck. Right that there are ways in which you can go, I'm passionate about this and passion and just make a list and then start going, Okay, in these fields, are there occupations that kind of line up with passions like this that I either have opportunity for or man, I've never even thought about that, I'd like to give it and can you can you try it out, like, for instance, if it's a teaching situation and you can oftentimes go to

a school, you can sign up to be a sub and you can go. I don't have to sign a full contract for the next twelve months. I could sub every once in a while, or yeah I want to coach, yeah something, or who knows what it is, but I love it. I'm guessing if you're in the field of serving people this way and wanting to help people through the route of physical therapy, that you're probably wired to serve and help and you want to see people flourish, and so run with that passion if that's what it is,

and figure out what opportunities are around you. Love it. We'll take a break for you right back. This podcast is sponsored by Better Help Online Therapy. You know, relationships take work, especially the most important one you could have in your life, and that's your relationship with yourself. A lot of us will drop anything to help someone else we care about, and we'll go way out of our way to treat other people well. But how often do we give ourselves the same treatment. And there's this idea

that we treat our dogs better than we do ourselves. Right, if you take your dog to the vet and the dog is sick and gives you a pill that you have to give your dog three times a day, you will never skip giving your dog a pill. But if you go to the doctor and the doctor says, yeah, you need to go and get this prescription and take this medicine, it's rare that you would do it on time and do all of the medication. That we're strange

like that. So this month, Better Help Online Therapy wants to remind you that you matter just as much as everyone else does, including your pets, and therapy is a great way to make sure that you show up for yourself. Better Help is online therapy that offers video, phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't even want to. It's more affordable than in person therapy, and you could be matched with a therapist in under forty

eight hours. Give it a try and see why. Over two million people have used better Help Online Therapy. This podcast is sponsored by Better Help and the Grangersmith Podcast listeners get ten percent off their first month at better help dot com slash Granger that's b E T T E r h e l p dot com slash Granger faster. Chad Back on the podcast, host of the Take and Read podcast himself. Yeah, buddy man, it's an awesome podcast. We like to call it the Grangersmith Podcast two point zero, Yeah,

or the the Grandchild like you're it's. Yeah, it's related to your podcast, but it's deeper. It's it's it's deeper into the word. And so the format is actually getting into a block of scripture, reading it slowly and discussing it without notes, without any kind of reference and no preparation, no preparation, and as an example of what we could all do on our own. Yes, that's the goal. The goal is to get more and more people comfortable approaching their Bible and to get them in it to take

and read the Bible for themselves. And so we go through a very simple kind of format of taking it, reading the passage, trying to figure out what it says. We try to figure out what it means, and then what do we do about it? Very simple approach, and it is it's live. It's no prep. I a couple episodes ago, I had a guest on and they asked me a question that I did not anticipate and I

had made. I was like, I think it was at the Calling of the Disciples, and I'm looking at this the passage in Mark and we're looking at it and it's identifying Levi, and I was like, well, also known as Matthew. And Kurt, who was my guest at the time, he goes, how do you know that? And I'm like, well, everyone knows that. He goes, yeah, it doesn't say here. I was like, okay, all right, and so now I'm

starting to sweat and I'm like okay. So I start flipping and I go back in and I find it in the gosp well Matthew the references Levi is also Matthew. And I was like, I mean, it's live. It's like stuff the pastor so it is. It's a lot of fun, and uh yeah, take and read podcast. You guys, check it out, and we're gonna get you back on there. I'll be back on back on there soon. Now that you've come out of the woods with your fuzzy face

and like John the Baptist over here, just not eating locust. Okay, speaking of let's go to this. One subject line is fear of leaving the Catholic Faith. I don't know that well why that was speaking of John the Baptist, but it's an interesting Yeah, the religious traditions, yes, very age. Yeah, okay, it says, Hey Granger, please leave me anonymous. I'm a huge fan of your music, Thank you very much. The last six years of my life I had a pretty

rockery rocky relationship with God and my faith. I grew up in a Catholic church. I was baptized, went to CCD every week, church every Sunday, volunteered, did readings, etc. Once college hit, I stopped going to church altogether. I never prayed, never read the Bible except when I was asking for help. I started questioning a lot, mostly question the long term values and traditions the Catholic Faith holds.

I found there's a lot of things I didn't agree with. Fortunately, this past year I found my way back to God slowly but surely, attended Mass every Sunday, and I truly feel a sense of calm in my life. However, I still find myself questioning the Catholic faith and grew up knowing that it was wrong to leave the Catholic Church. But to me, if I believe in our One God and put my faith in him, I don't think it should matter what denomination I identify with or what church

I choose to go to on Sundays. I'm not sure what to do if I leave the Catholic Church for another branch of religion. I feel like I'm turning my back on at least twenty four years of my life. I also feel like part of me doesn't want to leave. It's important to me to be a Catholic because of my family. It's important to me to be a Catholic since it's where I grew up. And I feel like a hypocrite staying with a religion where there are certain things I don't necessarily agree with. Is it wrong for

me to continue with the Catholic faith? Is it silly to fear leaving? Any advice would be appreciated. This is coming from Cassie. Yeah, great question, Cassie. I'm so glad you asked it. I want to kind of dig into this piece by piece. First of all, acknowledging your good question and acknowledging your sensitivity to it. And I'm not I've never been a Catholic, but I've been around a

lot of them. I've been very good friends with a lot of them, and I know that just like being Jewish, in a lot of ways, Catholicism could become a heritage for you and your family. It becomes a a tradition, a heritage in your lineage. It's like you feel like, well, why are you a Catholic because my granddad was and the granddad before him, and that's that's why I am. And you and I both know that that's not that's not the answer of why you would you would go

to church every Sunday. It's because your granddad went to that church. So I do want to say that there is this component that you don't have to disconnect with your family and your heritage of being a Catholic. But it's going to come down to how you practice. Because here comes the emails already to me. But here's a thing.

I believe that your your discernment and your your questions are valid and what you're wondering because it because if you are reading the Bible and you're seeing certain things that aren't practiced in that way. You're wondering why it happens that way, and that's you're wrestling with that, and I understand it. Yeah, I think what you're hitting on

is there's a couple of points of tension. Right. There's the the family and kind of tradition and the familiarity with Catholicism that you have since that's what you grew up in, that's what your your family and your your network of support. That's the world that they're from and

the worldview they're from. And now you're also wrestling with but there are some things that you are now identifying biblically that you go, that's not right, that's not And so now there's this sense of allegiance, like, well, do I maintain this allegiance to family and tradition and familiarity, or I've got this tension because I want to be I want my allegiance to be to the truth. And so we don't want to minimize that because that is

a real tension. However, you have to be beholden to the word of God alone, and you are going to stand before the Lord and you're gonna give account for what you know and what you did with what you know. That's something that's true for all believers and all people. And so although that tension exists, don't minimize the sense of wrestling with that and following. What the Lord is doing is he reveals things to you in his word, because he's intentionally showing you things. And so there's a

reason why I'm not a Catholic. My dad's side of the family was all Catholic and my grandmother, my dad's mom, absolute devout Catholic. She was one hundred percent born again, absolutely know that she loved Jesus and she trusted it to him alone. But she was also a very development So I would say this that just because somebody is Catholic doesn't mean they cannot be born again. But I would say there are certain doctrinal things that I think are contrary to the scriptures, and so you have to

be mindful of that. And if you're somebody who is aware of those things, you can't just turn a blind eye to it. And so you're going to have to determine where your allegiance is. Yeah, that's so good. Go read a biography on Martin Luther and you'll see the similarities in your thoughts and what he started thinking and what he started thinking as because back then in the

fourteen hundreds, not everyone had access to a Bible. In fact, very few had access to a Bible at all, the pure word of God that was only heard read aloud in the church. And so as guys like Martin Luther started up in the church and reading the Bible for themselves, it wasn't just him. People started seeing things and questioning if that is what we're hearing in church, or if that's what we're actually practicing in church. And it's a

fascinating historical story. Regardless of your faith, it is fascinating in human history to read about Martin Luther and what happened to him, and then what the ripple effect that had on us today because of what he saw, the differences in what he was reading and what he was hearing. I want to address one more thing here, Cassie. You said, I feel like I would be turning my back on

the last twenty four years of my life. This is such a microcosm of so many people's thoughts about anything in life, and I want to I just want to encourage you and say that when you're seeking the truth. When you're finding something that's real and that's a new passion or something that's grounded in truth, it's never a

waste up until that point. And that doesn't matter if you're You could hear this in relationships like I've been in this bad relationship for three and a half years, this abusive relationship, but I feel like if I get out, I'm just wasted three and a half years of my life. It's never a waste. You just came to the understanding a little bit later and you're better for it, So you're now better for those twenty four years. It's never

a waste. So we can never walk through life ever and think I hate this job, but I sure can't quit it because I've been here fifteen years and that would be a waste. No, it's not a waste. It was the perfect time for you to come to the realization that you needed to get out. Same thing here. That's what these twenty four years are. That is a relevant to your question if that's a waste or not,

because you're talking about your eternal life here. Yeah, And I think it's if you read like you're talking about grandeur. If you go back and look at history. The Catholic Church is a part of every Christian today. It's a part of your history, it's a part of our heritage. That there were things that occurred because God used and

worked through the Catholic Church throughout history. But there was a turning point and Martin Luther played a huge role in that, along with others like John Huss and John Knox and William Tindale and others that came to that point of tension where they could no longer just turn away from what they could see in the scriptures versus what was happening in their tradition and so fascinating, Cassie, great question, and yeah, I'm so glad you emailed it.

Would you say it's been a waste of your adult life that you haven't grown a beard until this time? Yes, I feel like I've wasted my life. Terrible comment below. We don't call it and say comment below if you're like more Beard from Granger more Beard, I've secretly been taking little pieces of it off. Let's go to this young man needing some advice. Hey, Graindred like to remain anonymous. We've had a lot of anonymous today, like three Yeah, I like on that last one she called out anonymous

and then you said her name at the end. Is that did she sign it? Oh? Man, I'm sorry, I'm so bad at that. I love it. Okay, guys, if you put anonymous, just don't put your name at all. That good call, says hey, grangered like to remain anonymous. Yes, I listened to your podcast on the way home from work every morning that a new one is available, and I love it. Just looking for some advice from you. I'm nineteen years old, I have a state job, and I'm genuinely happy where I am in my life at

my age, except for one thing. I've never been in a relationship, and I don't know what to do. I've talked to many girls, but none seem to get past that stage. All my buddi seem to be in happy relationships. I have no idea where even to start. How can I find someone to build my life with? So it seems like he's pretty content. And if you were here and we were at the campfire, I would ask some questions like well, do you do you want companionship? Like

what's your what do you want in a relationship? Like what why? Now you look around and you see other people having great relationships, so you're just kind of feel like you missing you're missing something, uh or are is there have there been ladies that have really stuck out and you've wanted to kind of pursue relationship and it's something that man, they didn't check all the boxes, or

maybe you didn't check the boxes. There's so many yeah, questions, and it's not that odd that you're nineteen and you've never been in a relationship. That's not that crazy. Yeah, I think that, Uh, I think there's a lot of people, maybe they wouldn't want to admit it. There's a lot of people that that's that's a healthy thing. You're still a teen at the end of it, and you haven't been in a relationship. Hey, good on you in a lot of ways. You you've skipped a lot of bad stuff,

as you've heard me read on these podcasts. You've gotten to skip a lot of a lot of rough breakups and misunderstandings and awkwardness, and and you've you've got to put pour all your time into your friends and hobbies. So no, no guy, no older man is looking at you, going, man, what's wrong with you? We're looking at you going Hey, good on you man. What what hobbies? Hey? You save some money? Yeah, you save some money. You've gotten to fish a little bit more than most people have. Your

Valentine's days have been great. Yeah, you're like, what's the big deal? Seriously, you're not in a bad spot. But I'm know that when you look out you see other people and you just think, must be nice. What's it like I? And and part of you that that's that is the human in you. That's the human that that is, you know, just the caveman part of you is looking for a mate, you know, and so that's that's what is accessing you right now. Is this this caveman piece

of you that's that's just in you. It's it's inherently in you that one day I get breeding age and I find mate, and so that's a good thing. That's the call of the wild, you know, calling from within you saying it's about time. It's about time to be looking. So don't ignore that, don't suppress that. But uh, you know, Chad said the right word at the very beginning. It's it's it's all about you being content and it sounds

like you are. And if you're if you're content where you are right now and you have this great state job, and you're you're you're happy where you are, You're life, you say, and you've now you've got this call the wild kind of you know, brushing over you, saying it's time to find a mate. Hey, but there's no rush.

You're in it. You're in a really good spot. And I would just I would encourage you to to continue to cultivate that that gratitude and that contentment inside yourself, and that is going to be so attractive to someone because as soon as you start getting out and looking and becoming desperate and trying to say the right words and not mumble through a conversation, you just it just turns people off. Yeah, I think that's a good word content. Let's go to man that this one's called I Messed Up?

What could this be about? Hey, grade, your name is Tyler. I'm twenty one. I'm from New York. Long story short, I've always been able to get the girl, but I always lose them. So so there you go to the last person. Until now, I've never really felt heartbreak, but I met this girl who totally flipped my world upside down. We agree to take it slow because she struggles to open up. We got talking about life and being together, and I got scared that we were not officially dating

and that maybe she didn't like me at all. I brought this up to her and the totally wrong way by calling her out. We were best friends. Now it's been for four months and I go to college and I can't get over her. There's so many things that remind me of her. We've always felt like we were made for each other. I just don't know how to move on or even if that's the right move at all. I just don't know. I don't want to be another heartbreak story. This feels so different. So my question is

to you. So my question for you is do you think we have one? Okay, let me try to say this right. My question is do you think there's one person for each of us? I think that's what you're trying to say. Do you think there's one person out there for each of us? And what you we do? Okay, Uh, walk work through this. First of all, No, I don't think there's one person for each of us. I think

that is in the movie Cinderella. I think that is a total fairy tale that has been made up by Disney and different in the notebook, you know, like I think, I think it's humans. Well there's seven there's three and a half billion girls and three and a half billion of guys, and and just do the math. I think you could find one that you're physically attracted to and mentally attracted to, and then after that you make it work and we decide, we decide that this is this

is the relationship I want to be in. And so I know that is the most unromantic way to say that ever, but I believe it's that's just the truth. And and you you lost this one, and you think, is there a chance that that was the only one created for you? And the answer is no, it's not. There's a lot of them. And listen to any old man, he's gonna say there's a lot of fish in the sea. That's why they say it. They've lived, They've lived long

enough to see it. You see this with people that with a widow that loses a spouse, and the spouse was their whole world. And I just met a couple like this recently. It was their whole world and they were just the widow was crushed and then years go by, and then you meet somebody and they have a similar story, and then you come together and you bond in that way, and then you fall in love again and it doesn't

ever replace the other person. It's different, But it's just a small example of we're resilient creatures and we could we could rebound, and we could rework and find somebody else. Man, you say the this is not just another heartbreak story. This feels different. That's just because you're in it. And I don't want to minimize that. I don't want to

minimize everything you've said, because this sounds terrible. You know, you're you're not eating and you're not sleeping, and you're just thinking about her and you're going over in your mind what you said to her, and you said it the wrong way and you went and none of that is relevant because this is just what happened. And you can't go back on what you said because she didn't want to be with you and it didn't matter if you worded it differently. But somebody out there does want

to be with you. Yeah, that's the beauty of this story. And ultimately, and I read these stories all the time on this podcast, But ultimately, you're just in the valley right now. You haven't come out yet. You're just you're four months in and that's like the time you see that. There's like this window between two and eight months and when you're in that valley, give it a year, give it a year. Yeah, but right now you just can't

see out of this valley that you're in. But just keep walking one foot in front of the other and uh and and you're asking if you should move on? Yes, yeah you should. Yeah, there isn't just one. You didn't mess up your life for good, and you just now have to walk this this world and this earth alone. Like that's not that's not how it works. You need to go through this process of your morning and you're you're in regret and you're in pain, and and then

you're gonna move on, And the sun's gonna come out tomorrow. Yeah, and it's gonna continue to The sun's going to rise the next day and the next day, and eventually you'll get your appetite back and eventually instead of replaying it every hour, maybe it'll just be a couple times a day and then you'll move on. And like we said to an earlier caller, it's not a waste that you're

learning a lot about yourself. Uh this can you know, this can be an opportunity where you you really kind of lean into other friendships and and develop those that you know, other connections and yeah, he mentions, this is my I've never really felt heartbreak. Well, so so great.

You have this in your tool shed. Now you have this pain, and this pain will work for you one day, because one day, when you find your future wife, you're gonna you're gonna butt heads one day and you're gonna fill this tension and you'll be able to access the memory of this heartbreak long ago, and you'll you could you could use that memory for your benefit in that situation with your your wife, because you can go, oh, I remember the pain of losing a girl a long

time ago, and and that girl is nothing compared to my wife. So I want to do everything I can to avoid that injury again. And that's what humans do with any injury. You touch fire one time as a toddler, and you don't touch it again because your memory accesses that pain and goes, oh, I don't want to touch the fire. That's what happened to me, burned me and so this is something that's gonna work for you. It's hard to see right now because you still have the

bandage on. But another thing we got to say too is don't jump into a new relationship right now until you're healed. Yeah, you're gonna know when you're healed, because you're gonna wake up one morning and go, I think I'm ready for breakfast. Tough, I actually feel better. You'll know when you're healed, and then you're ready to talk

to another girl. But don't do it now because you're damaged goods and this process of heartbreak, Like Ranger said that, the more you can just process through it, and unfortunately you just have to feel. You have to feel it

all the way. But you're gonna be able to comfort others after you emerge out of this that when they go through heartbreak, and someday you may have a son or a daughter that has to go through heartbreak and you're gonna be able to walk with them, to empathize and to counsel them through that and just be a support to them. So it's not fun, no doubt. There's nothing that hurts quite like a broken heart. It's crazy and you can't you can't see it on an X ray. You can't put a band aid or a cast on it.

But it hurts like a broken bone. And you're in the valley. Anytime someone's in the valley, I always love to say, read Psalm twenty three and and feel feel the peace and the comfort in that block of scripture, and feel that humility and feel the the ultimate surrender. You didn't mention anything about faith, but go find it. Go google it. That's the great thing. Now you just google Psalm twenty three, do it and just read it

to yourself and feel the comfort in those words. Time will go by, the sun will come up, like Chad said, and you will heal. Everyone does. Everyone heals from heartbreak. Yep, that's all the time we have. That was fun, bro, It's good to be back. Good to see you. Yeah, my Montana country boy. Yeah, come and join us on the Taking Rea podcast. We're gonna get granger there. Yeah, we'll see you guys. Y. Thanks for joining me on

the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Graingersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yig