#115 This weighs heavy on me.

my ugly face on Spotify. So really cool feature we just added and everywhere else. Thank you, guys. I am so grateful to have this platform. It just it allows me to get super close to you guys in long form. And what I do on this podcast if you're new to it, is I answer your question and if you have anything for me, email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. Could be about any subject, and I don't have a bunch of notes around me and books and reference guides.

I'm gonna take this as if me and you are sitting around a campfire and you know it's getting late and the fire's burning down to its embers, and you go, hey, man, can I ask you a question? There's something I've been going through or dealing with, or a question about my boss or my career, or a girl or a guy, or how to start a business or you know, whatever.

It might be, how to play guitar, could be anything, and we'll just both walk through it as if we're sitting around a campfire to go, Well, I tell you the way I would do it. It might not be right. Hopefully it's not absolutely wrong, but either way, it's a conversation. And that's what this podcast really is a conversation, and I value that. It's a special thing, and all the things that I do in my career, it's a special

thing to be able to talk through this. It's it's you know, playing music on stage for me, writing music, recording music, selling Gigie apparel or being an ambassad for that brand, you know, doing funny Earl Dubbles videos. Those are all fun and fulfilling in their own way. But this podcast is just it's special. So anyway, thank you. I don't have anybody with me today, it's just me at the table and I'm gonna get right to the questions.

The first one it comes from Jake and it says subject client says relationship Q and A. It says, So, I'm a senior in high school and intern at my local church. I'm going into ministry school for college. I really like this girl who has a boyfriend, and I can't get her off my mind. She loves the Lord. She's so beautiful. I just smile thinking of her. She's going into the same ministry call just me next year. What do I do? Comes from Jake, don't know where

you're from? You, guys, make sure you tell me where you're from and put anonymous. If you don't want me to say your name, put anonymous, but tell me where you're from. It kind of helps me frame the picture in my mind of where Jake, where you are, and what you're dealing with here. So so, dude, very very

normal problem. Not to dismiss it, but very normal. This has been happening, your story has been happening for thousands of years, literally thousands of years, and so it's good to know that you're in good company and that your problem is not that crazy. You like a girl, you think she's beautiful, she's got a boyfriend, she doesn't know you like her. What do you do? From here? Where I'm going to start with you at this campfire conversation is I'm going to start by saying, you're a senior

in high school. This email came yesterday, so it's relevant to the time. You're senior in high school and you're gonna you're gonna have another semester of high school before you go off to college. I would in this situation, Jake, I would sit tight. And I know that that's tough. You know sometimes I sometimes I'll answer this question with you by saying, go after it. Go talk to her, you know, go and tell her, be honest, be vulnerable,

tell her what you're what you're going through. But in this situation, she's going to college with you next year. First question is is this guy is the boyfriend going? Don't know, but she's going. You're going, and that's next year. That means you have you have January through June at school in high school, and then you got the summer, and a lot can change, a lot can happen. So

I would I would hold tight. I would continue to be a resource for her as a friend, continue to to have her back if she if she needs advice or she want something, without stepping over the line of what's inappropriate because she's she has a boyfriend, Like, like, you're not gonna go on a one on one dinner date and you know, get sushi or something. You know, that might be drawing, that might be going over the line.

But I would hang tight, Jake. I would just see how this pans out, because you might go to college next year and everything changes, and this question is completely irrelevant because either you find somebody else and you like somebody else because you're still young and that could definitely happen, or you guys get closer as you go off to college together. You you have more in common because now you're isolated, you're out of high school and things could change.

So hold tight. Email back when the situation changes, and we'll we'll walk through the next step. In my opinion, Thanks for the Thanks for the email, Buddy. I I looked at Jake's question before I started this podcast and everything else I'm a about to read you. I have no clue where I'm going. I have no idea if I'm about to go into Grandpa Died or how to play guitar? But well, you're going to join with me, Okay, you listeners, you're gonna take this journey with me. Okay,

subject line Hello sir, Hello mister Smith. That's such a great honor to watch your videos on YouTube. I'm sending you an email for the first time ever. You are a very inspiring person to me, admitting that you're doing a very well job. I would like to ask you, how can I become a famous rapper? Is knowing that I'm doing the best to post all my videos everywhere around different platforms such as YouTube, daily Motion, and so forth,

what do you think I should do? The only name I have from this guy is in the in his email, it says Victorious. So maybe your name, I'll call you Victorious. That's a cool rapper name, right, So you are. You're posting videos your different platforms, making a presence on social media. Great, great lots of music, be writing lots of music. Be be collabing with other people, especially in your genre. Collabing is a huge deal. So collab with with singers. If

you're not a singer, collab with singers. They sing in the chorus, you rap the verses. Collab with other rappers. I would go to concerts. I would. I would talk to people at concerts. I would I would try to meet people backstage. There was an option you could. You could go the road crew route, right like you could. You could work for somebody for cheap on the weekends and just to see how the whole environment rolls. Maybe you don't. Maybe you already know that, so that's not

a big deal. I would talk to I would send messages to different see if you can get a meeting with an A and R crew. And that means you go in, you pick your three best songs, your best songs that you have, and you try to set up a meeting with an A and R team. And sometimes those are hard to get. Sometimes you got to go to the receptionist, which is cool. Just go to the receptionists, go, I have three songs, these three. Don't give them ten,

don't give them twelve, don't give them one. Three. That's your magic number, all right, victorious, give them three songs that you're the most proud of. Now. Sometimes people struggle with this because sometimes in music people will will correct and change and tweak the same three songs for ten years. And I know people like this. They're never happy enough that they think that I can make this better. This is better, this is good. And of course it could

always be better. And this is probably good advice for a lot of different careers, but it could always be better. But at some point you got to go, this is good enough right now. And it's hard as a perfectionist that you probably are, it's hard sometimes to go to know that this is good enough right now, but you got to go. You gotta move with these three I would talk to. Aside from that, I would talk to videographers.

Try to get an up and coming videographer, someone that's wanting to break into the business, that wants to get into the music video making business right this. Find these people. You could find them on Instagram or YouTube or whatever, and find one that lives close to you and go, hey, my name is Victorious. I'm an up and coming rapper. I'm trying to make it in this business. I'm trying to get a following. You're trying to make it in the music business, in the music video business. You want

to collab on something. I don't have much to pay you right now, but I promise you I could push it through all these social platforms and me and you could collab together and hopefully come up with something really cool for me to show off a song and something really cool for you for your your highlight reel that you have that you're trying to pitch for other music videos because these guys they want more music videos to

show bigger artists that they could do it right. So so find that because that's going to give you a good presence on YouTube and good little clips for Instagram and TikTok and things like that. So my other piece of advice is, as you're as you're diving into social world, as you're as you're writing, as you're recording, as you're you're tweaking, your recording skills like you're editing skills. They have to be great, man. Don't rely on somebody else.

Learn it yourself. Try to do everything yourself in house. In fact, learn how to use a camera yourself too. I'm sitting here in this podcast right now, and this is a this is an example. I'm in this room, in my podcast room. I'm recording on pro tools by myself. I'll edit this, you know, and and then and then I'll have I have two cameras set up that I'm running and I'll send this to my guy, but but he's not here. Ian, the guy that edits. This is not here, So I have to do all this myself

in order to get it to him. And before I had Ian, I was doing it all myself. So you got to learn first to do it yourself. That's good advice for any business. Learn it all yourself. Be independent in what you're doing. And the last thing I'll say, and this is pretty much for any kind of music business job, don't leave your hometown, not yet. Leave when

you absolutely have to. When with the little place that you're playing the theater that you're playing music in, is so packed with people that you have to grow to a bigger venue, then you know it's time to move on. But until then, don't pull up your roots and leave everything you know, including mama, to go to New York or Atlanta or Nashville or LA. Don't don't go to those places. Then you're just going to be a small

fish in a giant ocean. Right now, you have a chance to be a small fish in a small puddle that appears to make you look like a big fish. Thanks for the email, buddy. Next subject line intriguing to me. It's called scared, says hey, Grain. Your my name is Casey. I'm twenty one years old. I'm from Montana. I recently got into a relationship with this girl. I really love her, but I'm scared to go through another heartbreak. I had a few in the past, and the last one really

hurts so bad and led me into depression. How do I get over the mental blockage of worrying I may get hurt again and focus more on the relationship itself, Casey, Casey, shout out to your homestate of Montana, Love Montana, Thanks for emailing, thanks for listening, and thanks for bringing something pretty personal to the podcast. First Glance camp fire setting Conversation. I would give you some tough love and say, man,

you're idolizing your relationships. You're putting relationships on a pedestal, and whoever that person is, whoever the next person is to fill those shoes, they just fill the spot on the pedestal, and you're worshiping the god of relationship, right. And I know that that sounds maybe that sounds extreme,

but I think this is extreme. I think this is what you're saying because because you say all you say about this girl is you really love her, but you also really loved the last one, and there was probably one before that that you loved, and I gotta break it to you, Casey, there's gonna be another one after this one that you love. And it's the great expectation that you have of relationship to fulfill your every need and to give you this fairy tale feeling of I

did it. I found the one, The mystical one is she's mine and I'm hers, and we're gonna get married and we're gonna have ten babies. It's a fairy tale that I think you're living, Casey, and you got to You gotta pump the brakes at twenty one, great age, by the way, way, such a great time to to be to to explore, exploring the world and where you find a place in it. Such a great time for that. And if if you're stuck in this, I gotta find a relationship, don't want to get hurt. Then you've never

listened to the song the Dance by Garth Brooks. Right, go listen to the dance. I could have missed the pain. I could you can. You could have missed the pain, but you'd have to miss the dance. You don't want to miss the dance, right like you don't wanna you don't wanna walk, you don't wanna tiptoe around relationship to

relationship going I'm gonna I'm gonna go half in. I love this girl, but I'm gonna go a little bit in because I don't want to get hurt because the last one really hurt and that's always gonna lead to another breakup. It's not gonna work that way. Girls are gonna see that and you're not gonna feel it. So so it's a combination your case, you of these two things, take the relationship off the pedestal and bring it back to ground level with responsible expectations of what you're gonna

get out of it. Because every time you date somebody, guess what, one hundred percent of the time when you date somebody, it's a human. And one hundred percent of the time when you date a human, they're gonna let you down because they're not perfect. We're all flawed in

some way. So you're putting this relationship on a pedestal and you're expecting perfection, and you're expecting no heartache and no heartbreak and no fights, and she's gonna be perfect and she's gonna think you're perfect, and it's just not that way, so so have reasonable expectations for a relationship. Take it off the pedestal. And then once you've done that, and if you know that for a fact, then listen to Garth Brooks the dance and go, Nah, I'm gonna

go for it because I love the dance. I might get hurt, yes I might, but I might have to miss the dance if I don't. If I don't go for it, That's what life is. That's so many, so many things in life or this it's jobs. I don't want to apply for that job because what if they tell me no, Like, I don't know if I could take that kind of rejection. It's in the movie Back to the Future, by the way. I just don't think I could take that kind of rejection. It's a terrible

way to live your life. Like I don't want to I don't want to go and try to get a loan for that farmhouse on the hill because I know I'm just gonna walk in the bank and they're just gonna look me in the eye and some guy in a suit and he's just gonna tell me that you're not good enough for this loan. And I don't want to hear that. Man, I just don't want to. I don't want some guy to tell me that, or I don't want I don't want some boss to tell me that I can't get the job, or I don't want

some girl to break my heart. You can't live your life like that, Casey. So take it off a pedestal and then go for it, right, go all in. But you're all is not the pedestal all if that makes sense, right, email back let me know what's going on, Casey. Let's hit another one subject line here says how to feel accomplished as a father and a husband. Hey, Grangeer, my name is Brody. I'm twenty three years old. I live in Mesa, Arizona. Love your music podcast and Yugi apparel.

I've listened to all your episodes and loved the advice, buddy, Thank you. I always wonder when I get that kind of introduction, always wonder if you've listened to all the episodes of a podcast, what it feels like now when I say your name Brody, like you're like, well, I've listened to him. Now he's talking about me. That's not lost on me, by the way, that's not lost to me. That matters to me. Okay, let's get into this. Lately,

I've struggled with feeling like I'm doing the best. Lately, I have struggled with feeling like I am doing the best as a husband and a father. Okay, gotcha. My wife and I have two beautiful daughters that I love so much. I work in construction and reconstruction, so I work a lot. Sometimes I don't see my girls and my wife as much as i'd like to, and we live with my in laws because housing in Arizona isn't

great right now. I try to provide this life for my family, but I feel like I keep falling short. Whether it's giving more time to them, are providing a proper house. How do I go about feeling better about myself as a father and a husband. Thank you for taking time to read this for ye yee, Brody, bro my bro Brody. Thank you for emailing, thank you for listening. It's a great question. It's a normal feeling question that

I have felt many times in my life. It would be hard to tell you that I don't still feel the weight of that question, Brody, and I think a lot of a lot of husband's fathers that are listening now feel the way to that and they feel that kind of pressure, And I think that's a good thing. I think if if that kind of pressure is weighing on you, then that means you got you got your priorities in line, Because if that didn't ever cross your mind, if you're just like man, I don't know, I don't know.

I got my bass boat, and you know that's all I care about. You know, if you're not constantly thinking about how to provide the best that you can for your family, then then your priorities are out of whack. So, first of all, I'll say that, Brody, and then as we dig in, secondly, I would say that the things that are that will matter to your family and the things that will create the longest lasting memories with them will be the things that you can't buy with money

at all. No matter what job you're working, regardless of its construction or Wall Street, money will not matter when it comes to the things that these kids need and that your wife needs. Right time an effort is the most valuable combination, not just time, because you could be with them but not be present with them, and you could put effort into it but not be spending enough time.

So it takes this combination of time and effort with your family at home, and that means you set aside and sometimes sometimes that means you leave your cell phone in your truck when you come in, when you come home from work, for instance, So you say, you drive up into the you come into the driveway, it's it's six o'clock PM, and you leave your phone in your console and you go in with the mentality of being

totally present with them. And when when you're kids, beautiful daughters, love daughters, Your daughters go daddydaddy, daddy, what look look at this? Let me show you, let me tell you this story, then you realize that you have to be

present with her in that moment because that matters. And when you're listening to that story and you're soaking that in and you're looking her in the eye and you're not distracted, and you're not flipping through your phone, you're not your boss's texting you, and you've got you're dealing with that, or you're thinking, man, I'm just tired. I just want to hit the couch right now. I don't want to talk to anyone. That's where you get in trouble.

So those present moments with them, and the same with your wife. The same with your wife. And I'm speaking like I've got this mastered, and I don't write, I don't. I have to remind myself of this every day. Like the Bible says, we're renewed day by day. Well, our relationships with our families are renewed day by day. Sometimes we have a bad one, sometimes we just mess up. But the good thing is tomorrow we start fresh. We

have another chance. And you just want to add up more of the good ones than you do the bad ones because that will matter to these girls and to your wife. So forget about the fact that you're living with your in laws. Dude, you're saving money. That's not a bad thing. No one's gonna look down at you for that. You're saving money. That's a smart thing. So prioritizing the time combination with the effort being present the TV, the screen, any kind of screen is always a bad thing.

And breaking your presence with your girls. And if they're on a screen, sometimes instead of just yanking not away from them, sometimes you could just cuddle up with them, you know, right there on the couch and just go what you're watching, and maybe she's watching like some girl and she's messing with these little plastic fidgets or something, and just engage with her in that be like, Ooh, I like that red one, and your daughter's like I like the purple one, and you're like, yeah, but that

red one. Look how wishy that is. Like then all of a sudden, you're engaging and you're in, You're present with her in her little world, instead of just coming in and going y'all, get off damp bones and come talk to your daddy, as you said on the couch, and wait for them. Just go to them, Go go engage to them. These things matter so much, Brodie. I wrote a song several years ago called I Almost a Am, and your your email sounds like that song if I

can remember the chorus. It's like, I'm just a blue jean, red winged kind of guy, getting better at barely getting by, just a good old boy. I don't know why she hangs around with me. I don't have much that I can give, but so much life I've yet to live, and that takes the miracle she is to understand. She takes me by the hand and loves me for the man, I almost am and and I still feel like I'm that guy, Like I'm not the guy that I want to be yet, but I'm almost him. I'm almost set guy.

And as long as I could just keep moving towards that, keep working to become that, then that's all I could be for them, and that's what they'll remember. Great question, buddy, We're gonna take a break, be right back. Let me take a second to tell you about our sponsor for today's podcast, Athletic Greens ag One. I've been using ag one for probably over a year now when they when I first started reading about it on this podcast, they sent me a sample pack and I started using it.

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and no name, so we're anonymous here. It says I'm in love with two men, and she says, one of them I've been with for a year and the other is my best friend. And they're both amazing, and they both love me, And I don't know what to do. I don't want to get stuck in a relationship and regret what I didn't do. But I also don't want to hurt someone or lose anyone. So what should I do? All Right, Anonymous, I'll tell you exactly what's going on

here around this campfire podcast chat. You don't need to be in either one of these relationships, Like that's just it. Like I could tell you I could be a mirror to you. This is not just me. I could be a mirror back to you. You say, I'm in love with two men. One I've been with for a year and the other is my best friend. They're both amazing, they both love me. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck in relationship. I don't want to be second

a relationship and I regret. I don't want to regret what I didn't do, but I also don't want to hurt anyone or lose anyone. Hey, that that you're you don't need either one of these guys. There is something else going on underneath all this, and it is I believe it is a need for you to be in a relationship. You want to be cared for, You want to you want to be loved and told that you're beautiful. Who doesn't, right at some level? Who doesn't. We all

have different levels of needing that. But I think you really need it because let me tell you why, Because this wouldn't be a question if it wasn't for that, does it makes sense this? You wouldn't ask the question if if if you weren't needing just to be in a relationship, you wouldn't ask it because because one of these guys would be obviously better than the other. And if they're equal in your mind, then you don't need

either either one of them. Then if they're equal in your mind, then you just want a relationship with someone that cares for you. Now, you don't want to hurt someone that's irrelevant, totally irrelevant. You don't want to hurt

anyone irrelevant. You're single right now or in terms of you're not married, you don't have kids, so you need You are required to be selfish at a pretty big level, not in an arrogant way, not in an irresponsible, arrogant way, but you need to be selfish in terms of finding exactly the right man that is going to be your spouse, that you're going to marry, and that you are going to make babies with God willing one day, and that fifty years from now you're going to be on that

front porch in a rock and chair, hold hands with this person with a bunch of a mess of grandkids running in the yard, like that's that's where I believe you want to be. And so right now, in order to preserve that dream, you need to be selfish now, because then you can't. You've given it all, all the selfishness. You've given it all, you've poured it into your family

by then. So right now you securely hold this It's precious, this precious time that you have to make this decision, and that decision will be easy with the right man. And you're thinking, but both of these guys are right, Well then they're not. But you're looking. You're looking at two like you're looking at two pieces of bronze. Right, You're like, man, they're so shining, these two pieces of bronze, they're shining, and both of them they're equal. And you

haven't seen what gold looks like yet. And until you see the gold, that bronze is always gonna look shiny and nice. And that's why they look the same. Just wait for the right one to come and you'll recognize what true gold is, the true value of your future relationship. So the one that you're in the relationship with now one hundred percent, the one that you've been with for a year, it's time to break up one hundred percent. If you hear anything, listen, if you hear anything I've

been saying, you might not do any of it. But if you hear anything, you gotta break up with this guy. This poor guy. This poor guy loves you and you love your friend and him this is like a soap opera. To be fair to him, you got to break up with him. And you can't go with the other guy either, because you would have already done that by now, right, you would have already gone to the second guy by now if he was gold, But he's not. He's bronze. You hearing me, all right? Email back, Let's see what

happens next up subject line career advice. Hey Grangeery, my name is Lane, Roberts. I'm eighteen years old from Southeast Kansas and I'm going to college soon to pursue a farm and ranch management degree. I have enjoyed learning about agriculture and high school and I'm very passionate about it. But I recently I've gotten involved in hunting and I found out that this is my true passion and I love every bit of it. I'm torn on what to do career wise because I do agricultural stuff, but I

absolutely love of hunting. I'm very unsure on what to do and what I'm supposed to do with my life. I feel like I'm just afraid to take the leap into hunting industry and for it to not work out. If you can give me some advice, i'd really appreciate it. Thanks for your time, Lane Roberts. Shout out Lane, Southeast Kansas. I love Southeast Kansas, and thank you for the email. Yeah, this one's going to be pretty straightforward, and I feel you, Lane.

I feel exactly what you're saying. And I've answered actually similar questions to this before, and it's sometimes it's the same thing. It's about hunting. So let me walk through just a little bit of what I think with your situation. First, you're eighteen. What a great age, dude, What a great age of discovery. There's so many people listening right now that are thinking to themselves, Man, I wish I had one more shot at eighteen, one more shot at eighteen.

And guess what if any of us had one more shot at eighteen. You know what we would not be doing is worrying about a career in the future. No, I promise we wouldn't. Nobody if nobody would get in a time machine and go back to when they're eighteen and once they're there start worrying about a future career,

isn't that strange? You ever thought about that? So what we would do if we went back as we would soak up every bit of being eighteen, and soak up every bit of life being young and having a blank slate ahead of us and having dreams and not knowing if we'll ever make them or not. But it's a blank slate, So embrace it that way. Instead of looking at the blank slate and going, oh, how do I feel it? How do I fill off all the stuff

I don't know? Instead look at it like, wow, I can go absolutely anywhere on this blank slate, anything anywhere. I'm just ready to write blank page. Right. A blank page is a great, incredible thing. It's not a scary, confining thing, right. Okay. So all that being said, I'm happy to hear that you're gonna go to go to college and pursue a farm and ranch management degree. My opinion, Lane is that that that farm and ranch management degree will not ever hurt you or hinder you from pursuing

a greater job in the hunting industry. That is great to me. That sounds like it sounds like a great background for someone that's in a massive some kind of guide management, hunting, land development, sporting, good sale apparel like all of that sounds like having a farm and ranch management degree would be great because so much of hunting, proper hunting, is land management and animal management and balancing that appropriately, like so much of conservation and preservation and wildlife.

So much of that funding, like seventy percent of that funding worldwide for wildlife preservation comes from the hunting industry, and that has to be allocated correctly. And it's always been like that hunters love the land, they love the wildlife, they will do anything to preserve it. For their grandkids, so that their grandkids could go out there and be in the woods and experience the same thing that they love,

just like their granddad taught them. And through license and hunting tags and gear and ammunition, all that stuff, through the taxes of that and through donors, they will dump money back into land management to help preserve that. It's a beautiful things, So beautiful how that works together with men and women that truly love have a passion for the outdoors. So I think ranch and land management having that that kind of degree is going to be great.

And the bottom line, Lane is, dude, you're eighteen. You haven't even gone in yet, you haven't even gone to college. Just go go your freshman year, Go your sophomore year, continue on the path. Go your junior year, continue on your path. Now we're talking three years down the road. You're telling me that in three years you wouldn't have an opportunity to figure some of this stuff out by then, because you don't have to today. Today. You just got

to be eighteen blank page ahead of you. Congrats, dude, you have an amazing story to write and it's yours to write it. You have the pen, and here's the blank page. Don't worry about it, and in the meantime, hunt all you want man on the weekends, Friday afternoons, go hunt, go with your buddies. Enjoy it. Enjoy it from a consumer perspective from someone that's going to participate in it. Don't worry about selling it yet, but you might.

Thanks for the email, buddy. Okay, here's a question, subject line military and family issues. Hey Grangeer, I love your music and it literally just started listening to your podcast. Would like to remain anonymous, and I can't say where I'm living, And then he goes on to say why, and I understand. I'm originally from Texas and I'm about to join the military. My stepfather's been in the military for six years and would like me to join the Navy.

But I would like to join the Army. He's always wanted my brothers and I to join the Navy for some time now, but I don't know what I could do for the Navy. The Army has more stuff I could do. I just don't want to let him down, nor my mother, because I've lost my faith in God and I feel like she is worried if I go into the army. Without my faith and God, something bad will happen. What do you think I should do? That is a lot of information and several questions packed into one,

So let's dig into this. First of all, thank you for your service. Thank you for not only you, but your stepfather and the mission that you're willing to partake. It takes a lot of bravery to even have this

decision on your radar, So thank you, dude. I hope more and more young people continue to see the benefits of being in the service and the just the beautiful mirage of what it is, that this is something that could could spike a new career or to give me the little life skills that I need, and it's just so honorable, and I hope that more and more people see it as that as a duty, an American duty. All that being said, we're called from the Bible to

honor our mother and father. So I understand your dilemma. And the reason you're having this dilemma is because you're going against what they want, and so you have this conflict, and that's you know, the Bible is for us. It's a roadmap for us, breathed out by God. All scriptures breathed out by God, and when you go against it, whether you have read it or not, or believe it or not, when you start going against it, you feel a weird pull that feels not right and out of place.

You feel a little bit out of step. So I have to say that first, and I don't necessarily know how that aligns with your step father and you, right, So there's a little bit of a disconnect. I think you could fix that disconnect by some very vulnerable, decisive conversation, sit down dinner type conversation with your mother and your

stepfather and I'm talking. You do your research, and you lay out your plan for the army, a step by step list of good statistics on what you could do and where you could join, and how to apply that and what you're going to get out of it and what you're going to put into it, and have have maybe a same a similar list for the Navy, and you can go I could do this and this and this in the Navy, but it's not going to get

me where I really want to go. That the Army is gonna get me to, right, So I think you could you could lay out a pretty good argument, even though personally I think you're gonna you're gonna see big benefits from either one for what you want. But I understand what you're coming from, where you're coming from, and

I understand what you're probably wanting to do. You're probably wanting to go into more of a grunt world where you're just you know, you're packing it in, You're going into urban areas, and you know you I think that's probably what you're thinking. But the bigger question comes later in your email, and you didn't even pose it as a question. You just kind of threw it out in passing.

I don't want to let him down, nor my mother, because I've lost faith in God, and I feel like she's gonna be worried if I go into the army without my faith in God, something bad will happen. A couple of things here. This is this is a two edged sword. One. You're throwing that out there like it's no big deal. You've lost your faith in God. Sounds like you mean that you once had it and now it's gone. So that's something you got to figure out, because that's way bigger than the army or the navy,

or your mother or your stepdad. That's bigger than all that. This is something that you got to wrestle with. You know what the word Israel, which is, you know, the the chosen people of the background of the Christian Faith, the backdrop of the Christian Faith. The word Israel is a story about a man named Jacob and God changed his name to Israel. Israel literally means to wrestle with God. And we're encouraged in a lot of ways to wrestle

with God. Not with our faith and not with knowing who he is and believing in who he is, but but more so in where is my standing with you? God? Where do I fit in your picture? God? That kind of wrestling and I feel like this is what you gotta do. I feel like you got to get you got to get down and on your knees and your your fist clenched, and you got to do some wrestling, and you got to start calling out and you got to start calling calling him out and saying, God, I

need to feel you. Don't hide your face from me, I need to feel you. This is this is echoing what the psalms will walk through. If you go through some psalms in your Bible, go through the psalms. There's a ton of them you're gonna find over and over again, things like it's always built on a foundation of God is sovereign, God is all knowing, God is the creator. But on top of all that, while you know that, on top of that is this feeling of don't hide your face from me. How long will you be gone

from me? How long will you leave me here without without feeling you? And that kind of wrestling is what you need to do. The second part of this that's strange to me is how your mom says she's worried that if you go into the army without faith in God, something bad will happen. Well, something bad will or won't happen regardless of your faith. Your faith and God will

not protect you from something bad happening. You have to understand that, and everyone listening has to understand that Christianity never promises that you're going to be free of suffering, or free of pain, or free of bad things. That is a lie. It has never promised that. The promise of the Bible is that God will lead you through

suffering in the midst of it. As it happens, he brings you through it right and so I don't your mom or you to start thinking you better hurry up and believe in God, because then that'll protect you in the army. That is not right now what she might have meant, And this would be correct in thinking that if you've lost your faith and you die in the army, there is no hope for you. That is truth, and that's the same for anyone that dies. You lost your faith,

you're disconnected. You're in rebellion of God in some way. You have rejected God openly, and you have in this email you said I've lost my faith in God. So if you've lost, you've rejected, you're in rebellion. He's going to let you stay there, and when you die, you will not be with him. He will leave you in your rejection because you're a rebel. We all are until we come to faith, until Jesus pulls us out of out of our lostness. We're all rebels. We're born rebels,

we're born sinners, dead in our transgressions. This is making sense to you because this is a very double edged sword. Heard, you gotta figure some stuff out. I would figure this out now regardless of army and navy. But having your faith will not protect you from bad things happening, but it will save your soul. Thanks for the question, brother, and thank you for your service. I gotta say it again. I'm gonna jump in one more here. I've been rambling

it says, Hey grangeer. I'm Caleb from New Mexico. I started listening not too long ago, and it helps a lot. I need help. I just graduated high school this past spring. I'm going to college and I've tried having some friends to hang out with when available. But everyone I've talked to are they already has something going on? Are they lie to me and never get back to me. I've got to a point where I was once a very caring person about my friends, but now I'm turning into

one who just doesn't care very much. I feel like I can't rely on many friends. Thank you, you're the man. Thanks for everything you do. This is from Caleb from New Mexico. Caleb, we all need friends, right, we all need community as humans. We're just not meant to be on an island and live alone and exile the rest of our lives. We will go crazy like that. We need friends, and I'm talking about more than just mama. And more than dad, and more than sister, more than

the boss, the pag your bills. We need friends that we could rely on. We need community. It takes effort, so a couple of things. One, and I think I've said this already on this podcast, need to check your expectations for your friends, because I think you're expecting too much from them and you're not putting enough effort into what you're giving back to them. Not calling you out. And I'm not necessarily saying that, I'm just I'm proposing

an interesting question that you might be expecting. Give me, give me, give me, give me, feel me, feel me, feel me, But you're not thinking of it in terms of I'm gonna give, I'm gonna give, I'm gonna pour in. What could I do to help lift my friends up? What could I be a resource with with my friends in hard times or be an encourager through good times? How could I be that guy instead of I need I need, I need lifted up, I need encouragement, I need I need someone pouring into me. So flip it,

flip it and go. You know what, I've got a lot of stuff to give right now. I've got a full heart and I don't have very many friends, so i have a lot built up inside me, and I'm ready to give. If I'm ready to encourage, I'm ready to lift up. I'm ready to hold someone's hand and sympathy as they're going through something bad. I'm ready to step into the quicksand one foot on the rocks and one foot on the quicksand holding their hand. I'm ready to pull them out. I want to give, give, give,

I want to be that guy. And that's going to reflect back to who you were attracting as a friend. Because if that's what you're putting out, everyone's going to come to your house for dinner. But if you're putting out in any way, I don't know. Man. I used to care. Now I don't. No, I don't really care. I just I need friends that are gonna be trustworthy, that are gonna call me back, They're gonna hang out

when I'm available, when i'd let them know. When I send them a Christmas card, they're gonna send one back instead of the opposite. So there's this component going on. And then secondly, I would say, find out what you love in your life, what hobbies you love, what you love to do what movie, what types of Maybe you're a sci fi movie guy, right, Maybe you're a maybe you're an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie guy. Whatever. Maybe you're a golfer. Maybe you love college football. Maybe you love to hunt

and fish. Maybe you love the Snowski. You're from New Mexico. Maybe you love riding four wheelers, you love it, you love going in the desert and riding four wheelers. Well, you search out that community, and you find your tribe, and your tribe will accept you, especially if you come

with the mentality of pouring back into the tribe. You're going to contribute more to the tribe than you're getting from it, and then you become a valuable member of it and it just becomes this, this this beautiful, centrifical circle of honoring each other. And that's what community is like.

That's that's what we thrive on. So seek out your passion, find your tribe in your passion, and when you find your tribe in your passion, come in with the mentality of pouring into them with no expectations of getting anything back. Stop expecting anything back. Just pour in and guess what you will get it back when you're not expecting it great questions guys. Thank you for emailing, thank you for listening, and I will see you next Monday. Yege, thanks for

joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a question for me that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. Yi