Hey there and welcome to grandma has ADHD. I am your host, Justin, and with me as always is, I'm just kidding. I'm taking over today to do the introduction, but Jamie is really your host and I am here as a cohost and moral support, but welcome to our podcast of grandma has ADHD. So with that said, let me bring Jamie on. And, welcome you back to your show.
Thank you. And I don't just have you here to be a co host. I also have you here to be comic relief. So with that being said, Justin or Vanna, as I like to call you, can you please put up the screen? Welcome to Grandma has ADHD. I am here with a very special guest and personal friend, Dr. Joel Lazar and Joel is laughing because this is our second round of introductions because I forgot to hit the start record button. as I share, I have ADHD, like to interview guests with ADHD.
when I get to be real, then you get to be real. So. Dr. Joel Lazar is a licensed psychologist who was not diagnosed with ADHD as a child, but realized he had ADHD as an adult. And he's going to talk about his own experience. He has a BS from Syracuse University and his PhD in clinical psychology from the University of Maine at Orono. Orono? You told me in the last. And, I am so excited to have you here with me today. Joel, Dr. Joel, Dr. Joel Lazar Dr. Lazar, your majesty.
How, should I address you?
Well, when I first got my license, it was important to be Dr. Lazar. Because you have to jump through a lot of hoops. Okay. Afterwards, I kind of said, okay, you know what? Put your ego in check here. And so now when people say, what is your preference? I say, my preference is to be asked my preference. So whatever's comfortable for you, whatever's comfortable for you.
Nice answer. Well, and I don't want to diminish, first of all, the fact that you, you got a PhD, but that you got a PhD with ADHD is also an accomplishment, which means that obviously it was your zone of interest, because, what I have learned is if there is something we love and it interests us, then it is no problem.
So, well, it's still, it's less of a problem. Let's put it this way, because just to kind of walk through it real quick, the process of getting a PhD, you know, the classes weren't bad because I was interested and, I don't know if we'll address this, but ADHD people tend to do much better if we're interested than if something's boring. You know, that's when procrastination is a very tempting thing.
Okay. Yes. But the problem is that after you do your classes and your clinical training, you have to do a dissertation and there is no external structure. And when there's external structure, like I don't miss deadlines hardly at all, but if I don't have a deadline, I can take nearly forever for something.
Interesting.
And so the dissertation took longer than probably for a number of people, but you're right. The fact that it actually got completed and I'll boast, I got my dissertation done with honors.
Wow.
It's a minor miracle. Either that or, proof that there is divine intervention. One of those two.
Well, I don't host a show on that and of course I love that subject and we could chase the squirrel, but I'm going to bring us back in. Do you use the term squirrel by the way?
Uh, no.
Do you know about it?
I don't think so.
Are you? Oh my gosh. I am. Okay. You are today years old when you learn the ADHD term squirrel. So it's a very common term. You can look it up. When somebody with ADHD goes off tangent, then you say squirrel, and it's like a big joke. So everybody who. Yes, I just saw if you're watching on the show, you'll see, uh, Joel's mouth goes open and wide. Yes, Joel. You can check the Urban Dictionary and you will notice that that is definitely a term that we use in the ADHD space. So squirrel. Yeah.
That's cool. I'm familiar with monkey brain, but I didn't know squirrel.
Yeah. But now you have a word you can use when you go off tangent or yeah, squirrel. Okay. So, so I'm glad you learned something from me today. Tell me about your ADHD discovery, and how you learned you had it.
Okay. So when I was a kid, it's clear to me now that I had all the symptoms of ADHD and probably a moderate to severe case like ADHD, like almost everything comes in different severities. Sure if you could have, severe, moderate, mild, and some people even have some of the symptoms that aren't diagnosable. Okay? Mm-Hmm. . And so, you know, I was, really fidgety. I had a hard time staying in my seat. The example, you know, I got hit by a car one time because of impulsiveness.
Oh.
Yeah. And so, but my impulsiveness mostly verbal and that's carried on to today. But like, for instance, I'd be in class and unfortunately I was very good at math. So I'm in third, fourth grade and the teacher will say, okay, so class, how much is three plus four? And I'd yell out seven, raise your hand. You have to raise your hand. I said, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. Cause I never did that on purpose. You know, it was impulsive.
I understand.
So she'd say, how much is 11 plus four? And I'd say 15.
I could just picture you as that little annoying boy that everybody's like, Oh my gosh, does he ever shut up?
Yeah. And so, but I wish I was, to be honest with you, I think as a result of the ADHD, I became shy. Because the problem was that when you have ADHD as a kid, you're a pain in the butt to the adults in your life, your teachers, your parents. And to be honest with you, I was just trying to fly under radar so I would stop getting negative feedback.
Right. So do you think that's why we're a lot of times, social anxiety is the biggest comorbidity with ADHD because of that?
I wouldn't be surprised. And actually, though, from my understanding of this, a number of things that can be comorbid, like for instance, on and off, I've had ticks, you know, motor movements, you know, I don't do verbal stuff, but, I think, yeah, if you realize that you've done stuff and gotten a lot of negative feedback for it, It's really easy to, you know, I guess, hold back socially because you don't want to say something wrong or you don't want to upset somebody.
So, I think your point is probably unfortunately really accurate.
Right, right. And yeah, no. Oh, I know that it is. Although, and I always like to tell people I'm not a doctor, but, I joke and I probably said it in other episodes, but you know how when somebody has ADHD, they tend to hyper fixate on something that really interests them. them and they'll learn everything that they can. And a lot of times it's that little boy with the dinosaur and he can recite every dinosaur and when it lived and what it did, that's become my ADHD.
ADHD has been my hyper fixation. I had to do a lot of training to get my, level two, certificate in the for the Institute of Chronic Disorganization. So we had to read several books and then we had to take a couple of courses and take a test. And I read way more than was, you know, but I just, and even I'm done with it and I'm going to be working towards coaching. And I still every day, I'm just.
listening to podcasts, other people's and, you know, reading books and it's just so anyway, I'm glad that I could educate you not just about the squirrel, but so you learned you had ADHD.
graduate school when in graduate school. I'm starting to learn about ADHD. All of a sudden it made sense. This is why I was so fidgety. This is why I, couldn't complete tests. This is why I got distracted so easy, you know, I mean, God forbid you sit an ADHD kid next to a window and it's like sabotaging their whole rear, you know, and so, but what was kind of cool about it is that when it started to make sense, to be honest with you, it was a relief.
Yes.
Because all of a sudden I realized, okay, you know what? Cause back then, okay, I'm 66. Okay. And so back then, if you weren't paying attention, if you were distractible, they thought you were either like disorganized or they thought that you were unmotivated. You were lazy, you were oppositional and none of that was the case, but yet you feel bad about yourself. And the term I stumbled, I kind of thought about for myself later on is I felt like my body betrayed me.
Okay.
Cooperate.
Right. Yeah, I get that. I, felt that way actually, when I had cancer, when I was like here, I was healthy. I had, you know, I didn't ever, I never smoked a cigarette in my life. I didn't do drugs. I exercised and, you know, did everything I was supposed to do, all the right things. And, then I still got cancer and that is, I did feel like a betrayal.
I think a lot of us and, you know, going off the tangent, but that's what we do when we find out we have ADHD, there's this, I remember actually blaming my grandmother. Tangent. But so my grandmother had really bad varicose veins, and really bad. And I had really bad varicose veins starting, with issues with my veins in high school. And I used to like say to my grandma, this is your fault. You know, this is your fault. I have these veins because you have them.
And, I feel like as a parent who has ADHD, there is a little bit of, I gave this to my kids, but it's not like. We didn't do anything to get it. It is just, it was the cards that we were dealt, right? Do you have a child or grandchild with ADHD, Joel?
Yeah. So, my son is 29 and he's got ADHD and, I teasingly tell people I was generous enough to share the gene with him. I don't think he said thank you yet, by the way. maybe I'll bring that up, you know, but here's the thing is that he's so smart. He graduated, he got his undergraduate degree from Berkeley. You know, and medical school he's and basically until he got into so it's a do school doctor of osteopathy. And what happens until he got there and the bar was so high, he still excelled.
But all of a sudden in medical school, it's like, I'm having a hard time reading all the stuff that they want me to read. And for the first time in his life, he went about gotten valued officially and started medication. And today he's a doctor of osteopathy.
Right. Have you heard of the term twice exceptional? Are you familiar with that?
No.
So, actually my oldest child is twice exceptional. It's very common for gifted children to also have ADHD. And so because they are so smart, they can compensate for it. And, actually this was the psychiatrist who evaluated Will, when Will was a junior in high school, had said to me that, Oh my gosh, you just, you're about to witness one of my brain moments where I lose a word or I lose a thought, which is very interesting, but, oh, okay, I remember now.
He said that there were other people in med school with him that were being diagnosed because suddenly your brain isn't able to compensate, and that's where he said a lot of times it will catch up with people because It's very common. That's why this is a term twice exceptional. so there's a misconception, because a lot of people with ADHD are lazy or there, you know, but it's really not that at all. we can be incredibly bright, but we have to, but boredom is Dr. Ned Hallowell.
He's probably one of the people I quote the most. He says that, ADHD is, boredom is a kryptonite. for someone with A. D. H. D. We don't do boredom well, and I was also going to share with you that Dr Ned Hallowell, who is a I don't I know he's like a leading expert in A. D. H. D. All three of his Children have A. D. H. D. And are all incredibly successful. So
can I share something about boredom for a second?
Please, please.
So basically, it's kind of weird that the primary medications for A. D. H. D. Are stimulants. Because if you think about it, if I can't sit still and if I can't pay attention, if you give me a stimulant, should I spinning be spinning out of control? I mean, what's going on?
Right, right.
So here's the theory now. So our brain is an electrical system, even though it runs by chemicals. And there's a certain amount of electrical energy that puts us into our comfort zone. Okay. So when we're bored, we're under stimulated. Okay. The theory now is people with ADHD, we're constantly under stimulated. Okay. Okay. And what happens here is when you give a person stimulants, now all of a sudden our brain is comfortable and we don't need those compensatory behaviors.
Wow. Okay. that's very interesting. I'm glad you shared that with me. So you told me when you found out that you had ADHD, that it was sort of like a relief, like, Oh, this all makes sense now. so you're a therapist, or a psychologist, sorry, when you're seeing a patient. And are they coming to you and saying, I think I have ADHD or are you seeing it in a patient?
I would say I kind of bring it up more than my patients do. Okay. And what happens is people will be telling me how, they have such problem with procrastination is often the symptom that's the most obvious. Because that's obviously really frustrating when you find yourself putting something off and putting something off. I teasingly tell people that I went to a talk on procrastination and I'm sure that everybody there It was for therapists.
And I'm sure everybody knows procrastinator and try to figure out how do I stop myself from doing this? You know, and well, of course, I put off the presentation for so many times. Okay, you got to go to practice procrastination talk. And the woman had a really interesting idea. Real quick. She said she's not a procrastinator. If you give her a task, she does it right away. So she calls herself task-motivated. She said when procrastinators procrastinate, we sometimes get kind of judged.
You know, we're lazy. We're unmotivated. She said procrastination is a style, not a problem if you can meet two criteria. Do you do quality work? And do you meet your deadline? If you do both of those things, then it's a style. It's not a problem. But one of the guys then asked a question says, but isn't it bad that we have to get anxious kind of before a deadline? So I don't think I said this. So she wants to relabel procrastination deadline-motivated people.
And he said, yeah, we have to get anxious before the deadline. Isn't that bad? She goes, oh, you don't get it. I have tests all the time. So I'm always anxious. At least you guys are only anxious at the end. That's a funny way to look at it.
I wrote that deadline-motivated people. I like that expression. Thank you.
Yeah, in contrast to task-motivated.
So let me ask you this question. When you do tell a patient, Hey, I think this is what's going on. What is their reaction?
So I usually raise it a little differently. I'll tell a client, has anybody ever brought up the possibility of ADHD? Okay. And most of the times the answer is no. And they'll often ask me, why do you say? And I'll start asking questions, you know? Well, do you find yourself procrastinating a lot? Yeah. Do you find yourself misplacing things and it's like, oh my God, all the time, you know? Mm-Hmm. . Do you find yourself having a hard time completing tasks? How did you know that?
So basically, at that point, I have a questionnaire that's specifically for adults to assess, you know, some of the symptoms of hyperactivity and impulsiveness and distractibility and attention. And so I'll give them the questionnaire. And more times than not, the person scores in the range where basically, yeah, it looks like you're diagnosable. And most of the time, it's a relief for them too, because they can't figure out why they can't stop procrastinating. Okay. I can't, I focus.
What's the matter with me? Well, now I know my brain functioning is different.
Well, and it's also nice for them because they are, working with you already. And so you're going to help them work through the regret that might come, right?
Well, the reason why I'm laughing is because, I, tell people that because sometimes when I'm working with parents, they get nervous. Well, what's my kid's future gonna look like if they, have ADHD? And I tell them teasingly, well, you can use me as your role model. You can have ADHD and a PHD
I love it. That's great. So Joel, we're going to pause because I'm going to bring in some words from our sponsor and then we're going to come back. And the next question that I'm going to ask you just so that everybody will stick around is how does ADHD show up in your life now? And then what's your favorite ADHD trait? So hang on one second and I'm going to hit pause and then we'll come back.
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www.SilverLiningsTransitions.Com or call us at (760) 522-1624 to learn more about how we can help you make your move or home organizational project magical. And we are back with Dr. Joel Lazar or his new nickname, his majesty. Do you like it? Is it going to stick?
I could work with that. I could work with that.
Okay. So we left our listeners with How does ADHD show up in your life?
Yeah. So, so basically I had the full package when I was a kid. and for a while there, there was actually a diagnostic term, Attention Deficit Disorder, ADD without the H. Okay. And psychiatrists have too much time on their hands and at the top of the hierarchy. So they decide to eliminate just ADD okay. But right don't really have hardly hyperactivity stuff. I mean I fidget a little bit in my seat and my biggest impulse of And so that's why I kind of have to watch out for that.
Okay. But the inattentive part and stuff like that definitely still comes into play. I get distracted really easily. it's one of the things I do is when I'm doing therapy, I take notes during the session. And basically, there's a reason why, because I found almost all people with ADHD, we remember things better visually than auditorily.
Interesting.
If I see something, I'm much more likely. And plus, when I'm taking notes, basically, even just the kinesthetic movement of my hand muscles keeps me more engaged and I don't just get distracted talking to clients as much.
So you know what? I remember in college, no, the same thing. If I would have to, write it from the textbook so that I could retain, I guess that's why we take notes. And there's all sorts of thoughts on color coding notes and all of that. But for most seniors, they're not enrolled in college, although they certainly could. keep challenging your brain, right? so that's how it shows up.
but also like when I'm in a, let's say if I'm in a new group or a new meeting, I will write down on a piece of paper, people's name and one physical characteristic of them, long black hair, green eyes. And so I will remember it cause I'm terrible with names also. the big thing now is I'll misplace stuff. I'll misplace my wallet and my keys regularly, even though I have a kind of a little bit of a hack to try to stop that.
I regularly have to return from my car in the morning because I forgot my keys or I forgot my glasses or stuff like, so forgetfulness is the big one.
Okay. So what's your hack then?
So I have a basket that's right by the door that I enter my house in. And I try, as soon as I walk into the house to put my keys and my wallet into that, baskets, because otherwise who knows where it's going to be, I found myself. So I have a physical planner. rather than a, stuff on my phone or a computer thing, because the physical planner is more obvious to me. So I'll look at it more. I won't look at my computer or my phone is not as much. And I write down to do lists every single day.
when I do something, whether it's a client meeting or whether it's a two item, I "X" it off when I get done
Don't we love to cross things off, like that is such a,
yeah. I don't know. You probably know more about this than I do, to be honest with you. Is there much of an obsessive compulsive sort of comorbidity with ADHD?
Oh, yes. There it actually is one of the things that can be comorbid, and I did discover That OCD and ADHD can run in families? You don't have to have both. I actually have both. I have one child with OCD and one child with ADHD interestingly, but they do tend to run together. And another fact that I've learned, speaking of, getting the things in the basket, do you know the two times for an ADHD person. What the two times are.
I'm not sure what you mean.
Not even a joke it's now and not now. And so I have done a lot of things for future Jamie. I really think of giving gifts to future Jamie. So what can I do to set Jamie up for success? and that has really helped me to stop like losing things because I'm like, okay, where am I going to look for it? Where am I going to find it? And creating systems is definitely are hacks as I. Like to call them. So let me ask you this. We've talked about some of the negative. What is your favorite ADHD trait?
Okay. So I found that people with ADHD are often very creative because we don't have linear thinking. Our thoughts are all over the board. And for me, what that's facilitated is the ability to make people laugh because I can think of associations. Now, admittedly, a fair number of those moments are dad humor. but that being said, creative and how I kind o so I'll make plays on wor be able to kind of make p humor is an underrated experience it's amazing for our brain.
It's great And so that's the biggest thing is I can be really creative with my sense of humor,
right? I also think because I was a little bit of a class clown myself Also, it was sort of deflecting because I you know I felt like I wasn't as smart as other people although now I realize I probably was but I couldn't put my attention in places that I wasn't interested and so I've heard a lot of people do a lot better in college when they're able to take the classes that interest them. But, I definitely feel like I was a class clown.
I know maybe to your point, some of it was that I just, I mean the words come, some words I can't get it all and some are just like, The associations that I'm able to make or the connections with other people and also thriving in crisis. I know that like if something is, we're in a crazy situation, I go into like, I can take charge of this situation.
yeah, but that's because you're activated. It's the opposite of boredom. And so you're stepping up because your brain is kind of like, oh my God, this is so, it's so intense.
Yeah. Yeah. So what are your suggestions for improving, your clients and also, seniors, because we are really gearing this, of course, anybody can listen. They don't have to be a senior. anybody can benefit, because there just isn't a lot of content out there yet for seniors with ADHD. what is the advice that you can give to them as they are basically reflecting on, their lives. And suddenly, ding, ding, ding, this all makes sense.
So the first thing is to really guard against self criticism. It's so easy to get frustrated with ourself. And sadly enough, we're so much less compassionate as a rule to ourselves than we are to others. Like if somebody said, man, I'm having such a hard time paying attention. I having such a hard time completing tasks. We wouldn't be very judgmental. Oh, you lazy slob. What's the matter with you? And yet we'll say even worse stuff to ourself, you know?
So the first part is to try to practice self compassion and ask yourself, what would I tell another person who was going through what I'm going through? So that this way I don't get self critical, but the key is creating rituals and structure and organization. So basically, again, to kind of maybe have like a daily schedule.
Okay. I sometimes just to kind of transfer this over, I sometimes talk about that with parents, have a little schedule that's sitting on the bathroom counter, did I brush my teeth? Did I put away my towel? Did I flush the toilet? And so basically for seniors, it's kind of like, okay, you know what, did I take my pills? that's true for a lot of seniors,
it's true for me and I'm not a senior. I,
you know, I have to, but organization making lists. And also what I tell people, regardless of the age of the person, the more specific you are to when you assign a task to yourself, the more likely you are to complete it. So if you say, I want to work out three times this week, you're less likely to do it. Then if you tell yourself, I want to work out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday after lunch, So specificity is really important,
right? Yeah.
And then the other thing is check off the boxes that you complete, like we were talking about earlier, because sometimes we focus on the things that we didn't do, even if we've accomplished a lot.
Do you ever write something down that you did just so that you can scribble it out?
So it's funny that you say that I'll do that on the weekend Like basically I'll figure out what are the things I want to do on the weekend I have a whole list, and so for instance, I'm part of like this meditation group and so I'll write meditation just so I can kind of make the little line across it. Okay. Do that. Okay I do it every single week. Let's get still.
Yeah, see we're kindred spirits Okay, anything that you want to share that I didn't ask this is like free flow Joel, We didn't cover it I wish I had said it because with ADHD a lot of times we're like, ah And then we get out of a situation and we're like, oh I should have said this I should have said this right?
So two things. One of the in terms of seniors is that, you know unfortunately if you think about some of the primary symptoms of ADHD forgetfulness and disorganization not completing stuff sadly enough doctors really have to become more savvy in screening for A. D. D. Because this can unfortunately look like Dementia or Alzheimer's and obviously that's a gross mistake in diagnosis and so doctors need to be more savvy.
And for a while there basically people, professionals who work with ADHD, they really had an uphill battle convincing the community that it was even occurring in adults. because often hyperactivity, went away with puberty.
That's what they thought.
Yeah. And so, but hyperactivity is the most obvious of the symptoms. So that's the thing. And that's why historically also girls have been underdiagnosed because they're less likely to be hyperactive.
Right. We can sit still in daydream.
Yeah. So, the bottom line here is that, we need to kind of let the community know that this occurs in adults who have never been diagnosed. but probably have been showing symptoms their whole life,
right?
You need to have the community know that there's help out there. Professional counselors. There's also a whole phenomenon, ADHD coaches to help this sort of stuff, and then also that they need to know that number one, it's not their fault. They're not doing something volitionally. And for what it's worth, I think I tell people it doesn't make logical sense to blame yourself. For something you're not voluntarily doing.
That's that is so true.
And then the last one is that you can still have a very successful life professionally, socially, despite the fact that you have this challenge,
right? So you mentioned coaching and I don't know if I shared with you that I'm actually enrolled to become a coach with ADHD coach. But how would you as a psychologist work in conjunction with a coach? Do you think it's a one or the other? Do you think it's a, both? What's your thought?
Oh, I'd so I remembered now the thing that I was supposed to say that I almost didn't say so I have a website Okay, it's JoelLazarPhd.org and I have a bunch of handouts
for people who are listening and might not check show notes.
Yeah, J o e l l a z a r p h d dot o r g.
Okay,
so Joel is our PC and I've got a bunch of handouts. Like I said, I'm a fan of handouts because I'm a visual learner. Okay. And I have on a bunch of topics, but two of them specifically are for ADHD. And one hand that is, tips for adults to try to compensate. And I break it down into compensating at home, compensating as a parent and compensating at work. Okay. And then the other one is specifically for parents.
And basically I, at the beginning of the talk about what some of the primary symptoms are, what are some of the needs of children, and then basically it's a page and a half of suggestions how you can alter their environment to try to help them be more productive and more on task. But the first part on the first page, the bottom, I have a whole bunch of suggestions based on positive parenting.
Because as we said earlier, this can really mess up a kid's self esteem, but getting so much negative feedback from teachers and parents and stuff like that. So I tell parents to really go out of your way to catch your kid completing tasks, doing something the first time you ask, paying attention and really acknowledge it and make them feel good about it because what you're doing is self esteem preservation.
Absolutely. So back to the, original question that I asked, which is, how does a psychologist work with a coach?
So, I would provide, those handouts for the ADHD, the adult stuff, but I'm not really focused on that. I can make some suggestions. Whereas with an ADHD coach, you're much more focused on, okay, let's go look at the logistics. Okay, let's make those lists together. What do you need to accomplish? What are the bumps in the road?
my part is I'll do some of that stuff, but I'm dealing more with like, kind of the frustrations that the person has in life, stuff that causes them anxiety or makes them sad or relationship issues. So I'm not nearly as focused as a coach would be on the specific, how do we compensate for whatever ADHD brings into your life?
Right. That's, perfect. one of the things that we didn't get to, but I think I would like to ask you, and we're going to go over our 30 minutes, if that's okay. And that is, emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitive dysphoria and, how that's creeping into relationships. because what I have discovered is that the Millennials and the Gen Zers, they are setting these boundaries up that, our generations didn't have. So they don't tolerate, anything.
They're, just not their tolerance level of what they accept in families where we would be like, well, this is my parent. This is my grandparent. That's just who they are. This generation is like, I get to choose and I'm choosing no. Are you seeing that as a therapist and any advice you have? I know that maybe that's a second conversation that we need to have another day.
Well, but here's what I'm finding. I'm finding that there's so much more significant familial conflicts going on these days than I seem to remember in the past. You know? Mm-Hmm. siblings not talking to each other, people not talking to their parents. And what's really sad, and I think unfortunately what you're saying is probably part of this, is that, so for a while there I was affiliated with a They used to call it a senior citizen home. Now it's got a different thing.
Senior communities,
senior
centers, your communities, independent living communities.
Yeah, so I was affiliated with one. And it's sadly enough, almost for some people, especially if these seniors are starting to have like dementia and stuff like that. It's like a warehouse. The family just doesn't visit. Because it's not a happy moment for them. And I think that, one way to spin what you asked is, I think people just don't have that respect for elders and a sense of loyalty to the generations before us that, perhaps in the past we were taught to have.
I agree 100%. I definitely
said, you know, I really feel for some of these older people. and, again, I'll go sideways for a second. so they've done some research on who gets happier when somebody is generous, the givers or the receivers. And they discovered that givers often feel even happier than the receivers did. However, the receivers often feel happier than the givers realize.
Ah, okay. Well, that's, that's good advice. So we, definitely have some work to do around, emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, but not, too much, to go into with a short attention span. so maybe we'll have, would you come back?
Oh, I'd love to. I'd love to. Okay.
Wonderful. Well, as I, like to part, you can find, Dr. Joel Lazar on his website. We will have it in the show notes. And again, that is it Dr. or Joel Lazar, PhD.
So Joel Lazar PhD. org.
org. Okay. That is how you can find him. And you will treat anybody in California. correct your license to treat anyone in California, not just in San Diego.
Yes. So through telehealth, which has been amazing in terms of opening up opportunities for people who live rurally or a lot of these senior citizens who are transportation challenged, so yeah, so I can, meet with people online, who are not local to San Diego. And also what I've done is, if, My schedule is often busy, but if my schedule is busy, I've also kind of, for what it's worth, made myself available and I'll say, Hey, can I send you my handouts? And if you have any questions, let me
know. Oh, that's so generous of you. And well, you know, we'll let them find you in on your website and not put them unless you want them in the show notes. Um, we can talk, that'd be
fine. Like I said, Yeah, no, no. If you again, when you're a therapist, if you look at it the right way, it's a blessing. I get to help people remember the good qualities in themselves they've lost track of to build realistic self esteem, self confidence. I get to help people enjoy their relationships more. I get to help people be more productive. I mean, that's pretty cool stuff.
That really is. And that ties so well into the way that I like to end every show, which is, making the rest of your life, the best of your life. The opinions expressed on Grandma Has ADHD podcast are those of our guests and hosts and are intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. This podcast does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The content discussed in this episode is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
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