Diosa & Mala: When Your P*ssy Always Works

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Subscribe to Lemonada Premium in the Apple Podcasts app and listen to every episode of Season 3 ad-free. Lemonada Remember that one time when we recorded an episode of the podcast, but we had put two and two together on air that we had had sex at the same time like the night before. Like, and we were like kind of talking about the fact that, wow, what if like we were penetrated at the exact same time? Hi.

I'm Diosa and I'm the co-host of Locatora Radio. And my name is Mala. I am also the co-host of Locatora Radio, a radiophonic novella, which is just an extra way of saying a podcast. And you're listening to Good Sex. Mala and I have known each other since... Our early 20s. I don't even know what year really, but we started following each other on Twitter and Instagram back when I was an undergrad. So I would say probably like 2013, maybe around that time.

The way that I like to really like capture that moment was that we were on Instagram before the DM existed. And so we were following each other before there was this ability to like really build a friendship online. But we were like engaging with each other in very like small ways, right? we were posting very similar in the sense that we were posting our nails, the art that we liked, the looks that we created that day. And so it created this very common thread between us that when...

we met in person for the first time, there was already this level of comfort, even though we didn't really know each other. Yes. That's where the friendship sort of started and took off. And then one day I get a text from Diosa. And she asked me if I want to start a podcast. And I'm usually down for whatever. So I immediately was like, yes, let's do it. Like, didn't matter what kind of podcast. Didn't matter what the title was, the theme. This sounds fun.

Let's do it. And that's kind of how our working relationship and our creative relationship began. What would you say, if anything, you have learned from our conversations about sex and relationships on the podcast that you have ended up taking into the bedroom? I think from the podcast, like, you know.

We advocate for like agency and autonomy, right? But sometimes that can be really hard to model in your own relationships, even if you believe it. You know, I am someone that is like a recovering people pleaser. And so it's taken me a long time. in my intimate relationships to be like, this is what I like and this is what I don't like and not feel any shame, not feel embarrassed. And also...

If a partner like has a negative reaction, like that's okay. That's not my thing to carry with me. But I still have every right to be honest about what I'm into and what I'm not into. And I think like creating. the type of intimate relationship whether with a partner or not but whomever it is that you're having sex with like being able to have that honesty can be really hard and can be really scary at times, but it's also so important. And so I think it came down to this, like...

I can talk about this on the podcast, but am I actually doing this in my real life? Okay, I need to actually channel this in my real life and not be afraid or feel shame or anything. I just need to do it. And I think that's been the biggest takeaway. I love it. Yeah. And I think that talking about sex and sexuality on air with you, with guests, with listeners, it sort of encouraged me to bring the talking into the bedroom.

Right. Like include conversation and talking as part of the foreplay and the experience and. talking and communicating is a big part of having a good time, not only for consent, but also for like guiding one another and learning one another. And so we're learning about sex by talking about it.

And then while you're having sex, you learn about sex by talking about it. So it's like this really funny feedback loop. And they really do go hand in hand because then we like go have the sex and then we come on the podcast and talk about it. That's so funny because like similar to that, like what I've learned is like, okay, my love languages, one of them is word of affirmation. And guess what? That translates to the bedroom. And I didn't really think about that until.

I felt that need that I needed my partner to say, like, you feel so good. That what you're doing right now is amazing, you know, and like to really say in those moments. And I realized like that actually is a part of the turn on is because I need that affirmation. all the time, you know, that that translates not just to romantic friendship relationships, it's also in the bedroom. And I agree, like the talking is really important.

And I think that that's a really good jumping off point for my question for you, because growing up, I know in our communities, we didn't necessarily get any sex ed. And with that... It made us seek out conversations or ask questions to people. So growing up, who did you go to for sex advice, if at all?

We are former Catholic schoolgirls, recovering Catholics. That's like, it was like nine, for me, like nine years of Catholicism and abstinence only. And we don't talk about it. We don't even have health class. It's religion class. And we're talking about maintaining our purity for our future husband and for Jesus Christ. Literally, and that's the class and that's the language. And it's a decade of that. Even between friends, all my friends were other little Catholic schoolgirls.

And none of us are talking about this stuff with each other. We're like, ew, gross. Let's not even go there. We're watching Sailor Moon and playing with dolls, you know, and like going to dance class. Niñas buenas. You know what I mean? Very sheltered. But I turn on TV and there's every music video you could possibly imagine from the 90s. You know, like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, The Spice Girls, Destiny's Child, NSYNC, like Boyz II Men, the pop culture.

MTV, TRL, music videos, like, there was so much sex in it and sexuality and talk of and descriptions of like, seduction and flirting and relationships. And that's my education. And that's really where I'm learning this stuff is from music and from television and from pop culture.

It wasn't until I got to high school. It was not a religious school. It was like, you know, an unaffiliated school. As far as like faith goes, it was an independent school. So we had a proper sex education class. We had a proper health class. But, you know, by then. And I'm 15, 16 as a sophomore, you know, taking these classes.

And I think it's like by the time you're that age for a lot of us in our communities, it's like too late. Like we needed this info when we were eight, you know, when we were 10. So that's then where I was able to seek out advice and get questions answered.

are medically accurate. But how about you? I didn't go to anyone because I was a little queer kid. And so I remember that the first time I had sex, I told my friend, that I had lost my virginity and she said but you didn't lose your virginity because you had sex with a girl and so then it became apparent to me like oh I actually can't talk to any of my friends about this because they're not having sex with girls and like they don't get it and it became this like just something that i

I would only talk to my, you know, my high school girlfriend at the time because we were having sex with each other and we were friends and that was it. And so it was it was very isolating in that way because there was no one that. could understand what I was feeling or what I was doing at the time. So I feel like one of the best types of sex is like vacation sex or just.

in a place that's not your home, not your partner's home. And I think that the destination can like have a lot to do with the experience. What is a sex destination that you feel like you absolutely must visit while you still have like a super active libido? My first thought is like Paris, like the city of love.

You have to have sex in Paris. That's like the first thing I thought of. But I also agree that vacation sex, there's just something about it that makes it... better i don't know if you're just you feel out of your comfort zone so it allows you to maybe push boundaries a little bit with consent of course um because i know i definitely had like incredible sex when i was in new orleans like

years ago now but I remember that trip distinctly because I think that was probably the first one of the first times my partner and I like really experience like vacation sex and so it's definitely like something to look forward to in addition to the vacation when you're traveling with someone you're also sleeping with it's like oh this is this is going to be good it's on i know it

Absolutely. It just like, yeah, it gives you a vibe. It gives you a it's just a whole different context. And then, you know, we live at home very like. LA Latina of us. And so, you know, it could be hard to really have a good time when you are still at home. So like the vacation sex for us is a necessity. This is so true because when you are at home or you're like, you know, a shared house, a shared apartment, like there's a certain noise level you have to.

maintain right and so maybe that is also part of like the sexy part of vacation sex is well one You could be in an Airbnb where no one hears you or two. It doesn't matter who hears you because you're not going to see them again. And it's not your parents listening, you know. So it's fine. Exactly. It's fine. It's fine. Yeah. In that spirit, I will say like, for me, I want to experience like sex at different altitudes. Like I want to try like below water, like submarine.

I want to try like top of a mountain, you know, like those hikers that they like pin themselves to the side of the mountain and they're in their little hammock. I'd like to have an experience there. In the future, when we're living on like a space station, like, you know, extraterrestrial, just I feel like the elevation makes a difference. You want elevation practice is what I'm hearing.

That's I'm yes, exactly. So we can keep it going. We have to build our stamina. You're training for your own marathon is what I'm hearing. Yes, we got to get the lung capacity up. Very important for the future. Yes. Do you want to be a guest on Good Sex? Either solo or with someone else? Well, fill out the form in the episode notes for a chance to appear on the podcast. And don't worry, it'll be safe and fun, just like the show.

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I know I've had like issues over the years, whether that be like as a result of birth control or just like stress, life happens. But has there ever been a time that you've struggled sexually, whether that be? looking for someone to sleep with, maybe something you're feeling and dealing with, or just performance in general. I don't think I've ever had a performance issue. As I like to say, my pussy always works. But what I would say is that sometimes like I struggle to find someone.

who has the same, like, I guess who has the same sex drive as I do. So I almost feel like I have sort of scaled back and I've sort of like, I'm like, let me chill. You know, like I feel like in the past I've been very like sex forward and very like.

intense when it comes to sex and sexuality but more recently i feel like it's more enjoyable for me if i like have less of it almost like when you smoke too much weed you need to keep smoking more so that you can like feel its effect and if you take a tolerance break And you give yourself like some time without it, you know, then the next time you smoke, like you can really feel it. And so for me, I'm like, let me give myself a tolerance break, you know, from boning.

Let's see how I feel. It's just like trying to find my rhythm with it again, especially like post pandemic. It's not post pandemic, but these past two years, like I was single in quarantine. And so. you know my flow and my rhythm I'm trying to figure it out again and like what's my relationship now with my own like sex drive I guess yeah that makes a lot of sense and I feel like post again not post pandemic but

But, you know, after the last two years, I can imagine that there are a lot of people trying to figure out what does sex like look for them? Because like you said, the pandemic's not over. And a lot of people spent time alone. And so, you know, even like, I think exploring like masturbation or sex toys for the first time, like I feel like that is probably a layer.

of the pandemic that we haven't even touched yet like what was it like for people to be quarantining alone or with a partner like did y'all have sex all the time did you have sex like Never. You know what I mean? In the spirit of this, right, like maybe in quarantine in the past two years where we've experimented with new things, maybe we've.

had great experiences, maybe some things we're never going to do ever again. My question for you is what is the best or worst sex that you've ever had? The best sex that I've had. Your eyes. And I would say this was not the person, but it was more like the experience. So probably one of the best moments that I've had. is I slept with someone in my early 20s and it was my first time like sleeping with a man and it was

He was just very experienced and made me very comfortable. And it was very much just we're hooking up. And I think like up until that point, I had only... slept with my girlfriends like I had only had relationship sex and then even now like with my partner like we've been together for five years and so A lot of the sex that I have had has been with partners, but this person in particular, it was like the first time it was casual.

And we weren't trying to date each other. And I think for that reason alone made it really good. And it was also the first time that I could show up and say, I'm going to sleep with a man because I want to. Not because anyone is telling me that I need to and anyone is saying you're going to change your mind about being a lesbian or your phase is over. It's that...

I want to experience this because I want to. And I think for that reason alone is what made it like the one of like the best experiences sexually that I've ever had. And man, as far as like the worst. I think anytime you're with like a one minute man. Oh, yeah. That's a plague upon us all. That is definitely. You know, it's like, oh, we're just I thought we were just getting started. But OK, we're we're this done. OK. All right. We're wrapping up on my way. Yeah. Thanks for having me.

How is our intimacy different from the intimacy that you share with your partner? Great question. Easy answer. You and I have a non-judgmental relationship. And what I mean by that is not that my partner is judging me, but I think that there's always a little, at least for me, there's always a slight fear that I may be judged for.

anything, you know, and it could be small things, right? My partner is amazing. But there's this, this understanding that you and I have where it's just anything goes, I can say anything. And if I do something, you can also check me, but it's in a nonjudgmental way. And I think that that's something that is very different from any of the relationships that I've had. I've even friendship ones where this is.

a partnership where i know like it's trusting it's like mutual and it's non-judgmental and it's supportive and i think that when you're growing either professionally or personally, like you can meet people that don't want you to grow anymore. Like they're comfortable with you staying small. And with you, it's like, oh, no, we're going to keep growing and growing and growing. And we're doing it together. And even if we grow in different ways, like there's still this deep level of support there.

Truly, that is a type of intimacy that really has legs. There's a foundation. It is sturdy. It is strong. You know, it's there. And, you know, so this this intimate relationship has. that outlived every other intimate relationship that I've had. Yeah, I mean, not to put you on the spot or anything, but do you remember when you had a certain ex-boyfriend that was a little bit jealous of our relationship?

It was a thing. It was a thing. He would literally make statements about, I don't know about Diosa and maybe she likes you. And we spent a lot of time with her. Very jealous, very jealous of you. And the thing is, it's like, bro, you could be jealous, but she's staying.

I will always choose her. Like you can be jealous, but you're going to be jealous by yourself far away from me. Same. I mean, I agree with you. I haven't experienced that with my relationship. But, you know, if that were to ever be the case, it's like.

mala was here before you because even though my relationship is long term our relationship is still longer like you you and i got six years of being in a relationship you know and so yeah that this is the this is the one this is definitely the one yeah No one can take that from us. So all partners, current, past, future, you're on notice. You heard it here. You're on notice.

You can tune in to Locatora Radio, a radiophonic novella, wherever you get your podcasts and follow us at locatora underscore radio on all platforms. Visit our website locatoraradio.com for more. Thank you for listening to Good Sex. Good Sex is a Lemonada Media original. The show is produced by Keegan Zema, Dani Matias, and Aria Bracci. Our supervising producer is Jorge Olivares. Our engineer is Brian Castillo.

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