¶ Understanding Love Languages
Hello , hello and welcome back . Gods , diamonds and the rough . We are so glad to be before you one more time . Hello . If you don't know who I am , my name is Catherine .
And that's right . I'm your boy , michael .
Yes , we are always glad to be before you . Amen , always , always , always . Today we got a hot topic , of course , as we always do . Amen , as we just finished talking about spiritual warfare , we had two witnesses or guests outside of ourselves that talked about it a little bit .
But before we get into our topic , I guess it would be appropriate to see how one another's doing .
I'm doing wonderful . I'm super excited about this episode because you know I ain't gonna get , I ain't gonna let y'all know what it is yet , but I'm super excited about this because this is , you know , a hot topic for me . You know , you know I got a lot of insight on it . Yeah , yeah , I ain't going to get it . I ain't going to let y'all know yet .
All right , y'all .
How about a split of beans ?
Y'all know what we're getting ready to do before we get into it . Let's go .
Dear Heavenly Father , our Lord and our Savior , Jesus Christ , we just come to you once again to say thank you . Think of your grace and your mercy , your love and kindness and the ten of mercies . We beg your forgiveness for anything we might have said , done or thought that's not pleasing to your sight .
That you would gracefully forgive us and cast it back into the picture of hell where it came from . We pray in the name of you . Forgive us for anything we might have said . Picture of hell where it came from .
We ask your Holy Spirit and invite your Holy Spirit to come along with us as we get into your word , get into your revelation , get into what your people , your diamonds , need to hear . We pray in the name of Jesus . Your Holy Spirit , just have its way . We counsel any assignment of the enemy that will be sent back into the pit of hell where it came from .
In Jesus Christ , holy and max his name . Thank you and we say amen , amen and amen amen , hallelujah .
So today , everybody , um , we are talking about language , language , language language . We talked about spiritual warfare in about three episodes , the last three episodes , so you can check those out if you will . But when we talk about spiritual warfare , it's , you know , it's something that is happening within , and when you associate language , it's the same thing .
We've touched on this topic as well as we previously touched on spiritual warfare , but we've talked about this language , about this topic of language , the fact that we speak a verbal language , but we also have body language .
We got a lot of languages that we really don't touch , and so today we want to just kind of brush over a few in regard to basically what is coming , and I think that the main one that should be discussed by us before we actually get into it with a few of our guests is love language . What are your thoughts in that regard , michael ?
You know , my thought about love language is what you see yourself as or how you like to be treated , because you know there's I think it's five love languages that we have . It's either five or six , because we've read a book about it . Gary Chet , yeah , have it's either five or six because we've read a book about it .
Um , yeah , and you know that that puts you in in depth in the book . Uh , it's quite a few of them . It's um . One love language is that of giving like , um , like some people , they you're saying to them that you love them by giving them something . Somebody else , uh , you saying that you love them by giving them something .
Somebody else , you saying that you love them by spending time with them . For another , it is like an intimacy type of language . There's two more .
Affirmation .
Yeah , affirmation , and it's one more . And these are all in Gary Chapman's book Love Languages . But we just wanted to kind of again talk about love language . You know well when we that devil is a liar , the way we see love language . For me , you know language in itself . You know you're saying something .
So for me , when you don't say anything to me , this is just me personally . It means that for me it's a word of rejection . What do you think ? What about you .
What about you ? For me , it's like for me , if you don't reach the love language that I have , it's more of a sign of neglect and disrespect .
Yeah , neglect and disrespect , okay . Well , that makes sense because , uh , um , in the word is , the responsibility of the wife in a marriage relationship is to respect her husband , and for the husband is to love his wife . So you know for you to say disrespect because that wife , so you know for you to say disrespect . I guess that kind of makes sense .
You know , neglect , that's powerful , and rejection for me , I believe that's powerful as well . So what do you hear , michael , when you say , when I say rejection , what does that mean to you ? And I'll tell you what neglect means to me .
Or rather , let's do it this way you tell us , tell our diamonds , what does neglect mean to you , and I will tell what rejection means to me , to me , since that's what we feel when we're not receiving the love language , the way we mechanically regard to how God put us together well , I would definitely add in the neglect and disrespect as one , because it's
almost like when you fear the way that shouldn't be neglected or disrespected .
It's almost as you know . For me it's like when my value isn't valued as a man .
Say that again .
When my value of a man isn't valued .
When you're valued . What's that mean ?
With my worth ?
Yeah , isn't valued when you're valued .
what's that mean With my worth , when , when I guess my , my makeup ? I guess , and I ain't talking about the makeup you put on your face , because I don't put no makeup on y'all , but it's you know the way a man is designed . It's almost like I know what I'm saying .
But I can't explain it . Yeah , well , what do you mean ? I mean , okay , you said a man's word . Yeah , what was the other part of it ?
When a man's worth W-O-R-T-H isn't valued , isn't valued .
So who defines your worth ?
God does .
And so , when people don't see what God sees , show what God has built within the individuals . Is that what you're ?
saying Mm-hmm .
When people don't value what God has put in them . So let me play devil's advocate . What if you don't value what God has put in you , even though we're talking about how we express it to somebody else ?
I mean , I guess it goes hand in hand , because if you don't value , if somebody doesn't value you for what God has put in you , and you don't value yourself , so how can somebody else value you ? Amen , yeah .
They'll value you , amen . Yeah , so what I'm hearing is , if you don't take the time to figure out what you need , then how can anybody else give you what you need ? Yeah , and for me , you know , he said well , I said rejection .
Rejection because I know from a woman's perspective , most women not all women , but most women because we've been made emotional creatures . We tend to express how we feel and what's wrong in this , that and the other to whoever's listening . You know , hopefully it's your husband if you're married , but whoever's you know close to you Because you express love language .
You ain't got to be married to express a love language , or whatever have you . You can be a best friend relationship , a sister and a brother relationship , a parent to a child relationship , whatever have you . Either way , you're expressing love languages .
And for me , coming down to rejection , if you don't listen to me , if we're having a conversation , I'll just use this , for example and we're having a conversation and I'm talking to you and telling you how I feel , or I'm , um , trying to express you know what I was wrong and you say you try to brush over what I'm saying , or you try to cut me short , to
keep me from saying whatever , because you don't want to hear what I'm saying , then for me , that says you're to me . I feel like you're rejecting me because I'm telling you how I feel , and I don't know if there's any other diamonds that feel that way , but that's just me , catherine , personally , how I feel . And have we not had many conversations like that ?
Yeah , where you have come on , say it .
Me .
You , what have you done ? Tried to dismiss what I was saying or cut it off , and I get very upset when he does that and when anybody does that . I get very upset when he does that and when anybody does that .
You know , for me , if you are in a relationship , then it takes two , and I believe this is , catherine that if you got two in a conversation , both sides need to hear each other , sides need to hear each other .
And if you had only one person listening , or only one person talking and nobody's listening , then you're never , you'll never get to the place where you could understand the other . You understand what I'm saying . You know I mean and you know . It ought to make perfect sense when you're thinking about A foreign language .
If you don't learn the language , how will you ever be able To understand ? And in any relationship , if you learn the language , you'll be able to , you will be able to understand the individual . You gonna say something .
No , I'm just listening Because you know it's easier to say it than done .
But we got to realize that and I think and I'll just say this first because this is going to put it into perspective , and I'll just say this first because this is going to put it into perspective I think the problem with most and I said most and I did say most is the fact that it requires a lot of attention , yeah , yeah , and a lot of people aren't
willing to commit to that responsibility or that attention .
¶ Relationship Communication and Growth Lesson
Yeah , that's a great point . I think that that's a great point because , because , because , see , this is why it's important for you to invest time in the relationship , because if you understand the background , you understand , you'll understand why they respond , why they do what they do . And if and then we'll just use the Michael Staudt of attention .
If you're used to always being the center of attention and then he comes along and he don't give you that attention , then you find yourself feeling rejected , you feel neglected , whatever have you . You know , a lot of relationships start that way , especially when they're like dating type relationship . They get all of your attention .
Vice versa , versa , you're giving each other all this attention and then , okay , this is a man of my dreams , whatever have you , he didn't ask me to marry me , marry him or whatever have you . Y'all get married and then , all of a sudden , all of that attention that he was giving you you was giving him , it just stops . We're married're married .
Now I have her , I have him , and now we stop dating each other . That , depending on the heart of the other , that can make the . You can likely start to have problems in that relationship Because you started off doing something and now all of a sudden you've stopped .
Yeah , and you know , just to be a little bit transparent , michael and I struggled with that for early , early in our marriage , where , when we got married I mean because at first I mean each other was the center of each other's attention and then , after we got married , for me it seemed , to me it just didn't seem the same as it was , and I oftentimes voiced
my opinion and you know not all men , but this particular man , mine he kind of looked at me like , oh , here we go again , here we go again .
This is when we began to listen , when we began to read the love languages , to try to figure out what is going on , you know , and whether you want to or not , sometimes help is necessary to bring things in order .
And you know , even you know , and I'm going to tell you like this , guys and I know it's a lot of guys listening , but I'm going to say this first and I'm going to say something else .
My first thought , you know , that's why I believe the statistics are so high on failed marriages , because you get into the moment where I got her now or I got him now and I ain't got to try so hard . But see , we got to understand this . Look what you did to get her or what you did to get him . You have to continue to do to keep them .
And I'll say this , you know , and you know , like you just said , you know , with me I always had a point of oh , here we go again . And you know , I didn't necessarily know how to say that which brought us to the next language is our body language .
If you have an ugly body language or an ugly face , or smirk on your face or early , or ugly , ugly way of , of feeling it's going to put off and you might even receive that ugly thing .
Whatever you put out , If you , if you come out negative or , or a wishy or wish he would just be quiet or or whatever , don't be surprised if you get the same thing in return , because I'm going to tell you . I'm going to tell you something God has a particular and strategic way of making you eat what you sowed .
He has a funny way of making you reap what you sow Amen . It's almost like a boomerang , and y'all already heard me making this statement before and probably in the past podcast that when you point a finger at somebody , you got three pointing back at you .
So in the same statistics is when you acting this way , don't be surprised if it that same action that you put towards her or him comes right back on you . And it's not to hurt you , it's to teach you a lesson . And it's not to hurt you , it's to teach you a lesson .
Yeah , it's important . It's really , really important that we be mindful of the language that we are speaking and you know , investing that time to learn his or her language at whatever relationship it is , is it really becomes a hurdle . It's a really , it's a big hurdle that once you come over it you can go a little further in the relationship .
The trust is built and everything else when you learn the language . Hallelujah , so you know . I say that because over the years , over the years , michael and I have been married nine years now and over the years we've learned how to adjust to one another . It's still , you know , I mean he still has himself and I'm still having myself .
We are growing together , each at our own pace and you know , when you understand that as well , that's another dynamic that will hold the relationship together . When you understand that both parties are growing prayerfully and if you know nobody's growing , then probably ain't nothing changing .
You know what I mean then probably ain't nothing changing , you know what I mean . Or , if one side is changing and the other isn't , then you know , then you got the side that's changing doing all the work and it ain't going to last . That won't last either , you know , if you want the relationship to survive the storm , then you both got to be there .
Amen Again . That's in any relationship , whether it's a marriage , a business relationship , best friends , parent to child , whatever have you ? You got to make up your mind at the beginning . I'm here , you know . I know a lot of marriages wise . They go into the marriage saying divorce is not a thing .
You know they've already decided that when I marry you , I plan to marry you and be with you till death . Do us part . They've already decided no divorce . And when you put the cards on the table like that , then you know you have to be intentional about keeping it together .
Yeah , I mean , I'm going to tell you something . I'm going to say this If you have a significant other and you both speak in the love language , don't compromise , because what do you mean ? Don't compromise what I mean . Don't compromise with me , don't take it at face value . See beyond that go deeper .
I'm just trying to understand deeper , that's all um , come back to me .
Come back to me . I mean , I know what I'm getting at , yeah , but it's it's . It's hard for me to explain it once it's up in my head . I'd be sitting on it in my head for a minute and then , when it's time to bring it , it don't sound like the way I thought it was .
Yeah , Well , you know those of y'all that have been here for a while , you know and I say this to him all the time you know it's all a process . You know what I mean , and if we never are challenged with going deeper , then we won't . You know what I mean .
When we are in relationship , when we are standing before people and we are , you know we are in the the room . Don't just be there , but be there . You understand what I'm saying ? Um , be there . Know that your body language matters , what you're saying matters . If you're in the room , you're supposed to be in there , let them know that you are there .
Yeah , you're in the relationship . Be in the the relationship . You know , don't go . You know playing games or whatever . If you're going to be in the relationship , just be in the relationship . You know what I mean , because I guarantee you , when you put your whole foot out there , the other person will too as well .
Yeah , and you know , even with that body language , and you say this to me so many times , honey , and . I'm going to say this to any down that is listening , and if I get in your business , I'm sorry . But there's one thing you got to understand too , and your body language doesn't even have to be with your spouse or your love language with your spouse .
It could be your love language with God . If you're sitting , if you're sitting in your congregation and you have your arms crossed in front of you , how can the Holy Spirit come into your heart if it's being blocked ? And that's so true because , think about it , where's your heart ? In the center of your chest ?
If you got your arms folded in front of you , that's like telling God that you don't want to hear what he's saying . So that body language speaks just not only with your spouses , but it also speaks with your relationship with God .
That's a word . That's a word , it really is , because we don't even realize it , but we're saying without saying a word . You know all the time , all the time . So for the next couple of episodes , we're going to be talking about love , language in individuals , in couples , in marriage and all kinds of things .
So you know , y'all , make sure y'all stay tuned to , to , uh , the podcast and what is coming , because you know God speaks in so many ways that if you're not open to him you'll miss it . Hallelujah .
And you know , I just want to remind every diamond that you know this podcast is not , it is not meant to to quote scripture with every , you know , on every single episode . It's not .
But it is to reach anybody , the saved and the unsaved , to see that there is something on the inside of you that God wants you to dig out so you can see the beauty he can give you . The beauty or the ashes . It is something on the inside of each and every one of us that makes us shine , Amen .
And until we can find it and see the value of it , it will just remain dormant inside of us , amen . So we had already decided we wouldn't be with you very long today , right around 30 minutes . So we want to encourage youall to make sure you stick around as we continue the conversation about language , love , language .
I just think that I might stick in an episode about people who call it love to put their hands on somebody . You know what I mean ? Yeah , because we got about two or three guests who came in talking about the trauma of an abusive relationship .
We also have a guest that's talking about , um , this thing that he got cubed , he created um , that makes you intentional about uh , focusing on love languages every day .
Um , in , in , in how you encounter people in general , um , and you know , I mean it's , it's gonna be good , and so , uh , we just encourage you to keep on riding with us , amen , as we're on this journey . Uh , shout out to julie amen , she's faithful .
Every single week she's here and she's the one that I know that's faithfully listening , and we just thank her , um , yeah , for being faithful , and I'm so glad that we can be a light for some folks . Amen , I think we got about four that's consistently listening .
Every single uh time an episode comes out , there's like four people who listen um and download it , and so we are excited , I'm excited and I just want to say thank you so much for allowing us to be able to sow what God has given to us into your life , into your heart , amen . So that's my final word .
I hope y'all stay tuned for coming episodes , the coming season . Just before you go , michael , the next season that is coming , season five , I believe , that's going to air in september , uh , september or october . Um , it's all about trauma , all about trauma , and we're gonna go back to the once a week . I this two week , two times a week .
It's it's a little bit much , but we're doing it because we committed to doing it . Amen , uh , but the next season , just look forward to it . Trauma into triumphancy , trauma into triumphancy . So we're going to hear a lot of , uh , intimate details on how people have overcome trauma , um , in their lives and what good has come out of it .
Um , for the glory of God , amen , hallelujah .
So , michael , you know , just my final word . Before I give the final word , you know , god gave me an epiphany . It's an old saying with a deeper twist of understanding . With a deeper twist of understanding . And the old saying is if you can't say something nice , don't say nothing at all .
And the twist is , silence is not a form of weakness , humility is everything . Okay , hmm , yeah , weakness , humility is everything . Do I got to say that again ?
Go ahead , say it again .
Silence is not a form of weakness . Humility is everything . Hallelujah , Alright y'all . Y'all know what time it is .
Time to pray .
Time to pray . Can't forget to pray .
Amen , hallelujah . Father , we thank you so much for your grace and your mercy . Thank you so much for just allowing us to be us . Father , we thank you for every diamond that is here , every word that you've given us to say we thank you , father . Continue to use us for your glory .
We pray that , whatever situation might be going on in the hearts of diamonds that you've drawn here , god , that you would just show up in their lives . Father , we thank you . We bless your name . In Jesus Christ's name , we do pray , amen . Amen .
Amen , amen , amen , amen . Now's time , now's time , until next time . Remember you are a diamond in the rough .
Amen , we'll see y'all next week .