¶ Understanding and Conquering Depression
Hello , hello . Welcome back one more time . God's Diamonds in the Rough , the podcast . We are so glad you are here with us on today . If you don't know who we are , we are your hosts . I am Catherine .
And I am .
Michael , all right , and if you didn't know it , we are husband and wife and we are just truly here to help you see the diamond in yourself , despite what it might feel like , despite what it might look like . We all know we got to pray , but we also want to let you know we have a guest today .
And we're going to let her introduce herself , because it's very difficult for me to say her last name .
And so therefore .
I don't want to tear it up like I did the first time , so we're going to actually pray , and then the next voice you'll hear would be . Her first name is Catherine , as mine , so Ms Catherine is going to say hello . After we pray , let us pray .
Dear Heavenly Father , we thank you right now for your grace and your mercy . We thank you for your love and kindness and tenderness . We pray in the name of Jesus , begging your forgiveness for anything we might have said , done or thought that's not pleasing your sight .
That you will grace , you , forgive us and catch us back in the picture of where it came from . We counsel any assignment of the enemy that will be sent back into the picture of where it came from . We pray in the name of Jesus . Your Holy Spirit will just reign in us and through us as it has its way .
We pray in the name of Jesus for the ones that have no desire to know who you are . We pray in the name of Jesus for the ones that want to know who you are but don't know how to do it . We also pray in the name of Jesus for the ones that just know who you are but backslidden and feel imperfect . We pray in the name of Jesus .
Your Holy Spirit power will just treat them and teach them your way . We pray in the name of Jesus . Once again , counsel any assignment of the enemy , for it has no power , no authority , no dominion . But your word say that we do . We pray in the name of Jesus that you just have your way In Jesus Christ , holy and maximum His name . We do say thank you .
We say amen , amen amen , amen .
All right , ms . Captain Say hello to us , tell us a little bit about yourself .
Hi everyone . I am Cathy Chambresois and I'm a teacher , I'm a writer , I'm an author . I have a podcast called Cathy's Cross a Depressive , positive Perspective . I'm sorry , not a podcast , a blog .
It's a blog where I focus on my positive outlook , on my experiences as someone who suffers with depression , and I use my experience to create the inner conflict of my main character in my forthcoming novel , self-published novel , the Box .
Okay , that's awesome . I mean , I'm so glad that , anyhow , you're still , you know , moving in the purpose of God for your life , because we know sometimes , when you know things ain't going the way we expected and you know we're dealing with this and we're dealing with that , we allow it to dominate our thinking and our steps .
And so , you know , it is awesome thing that you are here and ready to talk about this subject of depression , because so many people deal with it every day .
Yeah .
And so our first question I would say what are the signs ? What would you say the signs of depression are and how it has definitely affected you .
Okay . So this is such an interesting question because I was just looking at on Instagram a post where it says that , a picture of Robin Williams , and it says something like um , people are good at hiding , um , they're hiding how they feel , something , something to that effect .
And I think it's interesting that you asked what are some of the signs of depression , because it's not always easy to see the signs of depression , because people do hide it , which is what I did like for many , many years . Um , people would see me and I'm always laughing and joking , but didn't know that I was hurt on the inside .
So what depression looked like for me was someone who I , I was always beating up on myself . I did not . I never gave myself any grace whenever I messed up on something . I it was I'm , I'm stupid , this , I'm dumb , this and um , yeah , and I was always so sad , depressed , never wanting to go outside . I didn't want to be around people .
Um , I , you know I would , I would smile in people's faces but go home and cry and hate myself , and just you know I so it . It looked for me like just somebody who was filled with self hate and filled with this um , idea that no one in the world understood or could possibly understand what I was going through .
I didn't even understand what I was going through , so that that was what depression was for me , and just you know , kind of torturing myself and being in a dark place , yeah .
Right , and how long have you been dealing with it ?
For about , I'm going to say , over 30 years , um , and I first so . So in my , in my effort to really overcome and not really overcome , but to understand my depression , I really reflected and thought about when it had started , what caused it , and I realized that it was when I was around 12 years old , because prior to that I remember being a happy child .
I remember laughing and hanging out with friends and just being happy . But after that time where I was sexually molested , I guess you could say I was never raped , I was just touched . Somebody touched me the wrong way and he made insinuation that this was going to be our secret . And when it dawned on me what was happening , I retaliated .
I did fight against him , but after that moment it was when I started feeling like you're so stupid , how could you let something like that happen ? Just blaming myself , never blaming him , blaming myself for what had happened , and the self-hatred began then .
And so , in my effort to really understand myself and what I was going through , I remembered that scene and I remembered how I felt after that time .
And so and I never told an adult , I barely told anyone around me , and it was then that I really felt like it was no one in the world that could possibly understand what I was going through , and so what it looked like for me was just constant sadness , crying at times when I could seemingly be happy , just feeling low , not wanting to go out anywhere ,
staying in a dark place . That's what it looked like for me , wow .
Michael , do you have any thoughts before I ask the next question ?
Yeah , do I .
No , I was asking Michael had any thoughts before I asked your next question to you .
You know , as I sit back and think , is more of a statement , as what is the question when you say that you didn't feel like nobody knew ? You know all that . You kept it as a secret . You know , you didn't tell anybody , and I see that you have a twin sister . Would you say that she might have felt the result of what she was going through you ?
Know , because they . You know , we all hear that you know our twins . If we have twins , you know they can feel certain things , although they don't experience it .
My sister and I have talked about this and , to the best that I can understand it , she felt sympathetic towards what I was feeling , but she never struggled with depression like I did .
You know there are times when she's sad and you know she's upset about something , which we all are , because that's the human condition , but she never went into a dark place like I did . She could only feel sympathetic towards me and you know it's funny because a few months ago I found a card that she wrote to me years ago .
You know , in the cards she wrote something like I don't know how to help you . This is the best that I can do , you know .
So , yeah , you know what I'm hearing ? I just hear you say that you're suffering from depression , but I hear you conquering depression , and so no longer are you victim of depression .
But you're moving and living in a mind , in a sense , that says I'm conquering and it's to say that the process hasn't stopped for me , you know what I mean and this is what we have to understand that my process might take longer than yours , but it doesn't mean I won't come out victorious because I'm still going through the process .
Does that make sense ? Oh , absolutely , absolutely . I'm still going through it because I still feel it every once in a while and you know , with life changes and big moves that I'm making , I doubt myself and sometimes I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and feelings of worthlessness .
I still struggle with that , but I am conquering it because I've made a conscious decision to do so and because I'm going to say this this is really , really important when someone is suffering with depression , they don't want to stay in that place . However they are , it's almost like it renders them unable to move out of that dark place . Yeah , yeah , yeah .
So it's really important that we have people around us that will help us . That will be where we need to be . Like , if we need to be in that dark place , they will understand that . But once we are ready to make that tiny move out of that dark place , they're there to help us , to pull us out , and I feel like that .
That's what my sister and my cousins did for
¶ Healing Through Writing and Art
me . So I didn't do it alone . I could not have done it alone .
I get it . So you know and what have . What are some of the things that you've done ? You mentioned the blog . How has that helped you ?
How is that helped ? So it's so interesting because it was when I decided that I was going to start a blog to talk about the ways that I conquered depression . I felt almost like , wow , this is my calling . And it felt really good .
And because I started that blog , I started really going back to my therapy sessions , thinking about , you know , reflecting about all the times when I was at my darkest moments and writing it down , writing about how I conquered that , and it sort of became a release for me .
Like it was cathartic in writing down what had happened to me , writing down the feelings that I felt in my lowest depressive states . It almost as if I call it my depression monster . It's almost as if I was taking my depression monster out of me and just slapping it onto the page and letting it live there . So it was a release for me .
So that's I think writing helped me , has helped me and continues to help me tremendously in that manner .
Right . So I know that here we do . We do what we call healing art and we had a young lady who came in about two years ago with this idea . You know that art can help people heal and reach those places that a therapist can get to and reach places .
You know that we didn't realize that we could go and you know , pointing to the word of God and art was , you know it was , and it is a way that speaks in ways that a lot of things just don't work for some people . So you know I said all of that to say .
Would you definitely , would you agree that you know that God has , in his wisdom , given us things that help alleviate the stress of the world ? You know the traumatic experiences and all of that .
Absolutely . First and foremost , I believe that that God has a very specific intention with each of us . He never , he will never , give us issues that he knows we cannot deal with . You know what I mean ? So I was , I was , I'm gonna say I was given this , but I suffer with depression , and for many , many years I suffered it alone .
But eventually I was able to see that I could do something with it , and not just for myself , but for other people as well . But first and foremost , I had to help myself right .
So , by writing , by using it , by doing all the things that I'd done , which I could talk about a little bit more detail later that I was able to lift myself out of that dark place enough to start preaching it . Not preaching it , but , like you know , sharing it with others . Yeah , absolutely so . I was .
In essence , I had to go through this depression in order to help myself and in order to help others . So I really believe that God has provided me with the tools that I need in order to conquer this thing called depression .
The hazard impact of the way you teach .
You know , I feel like it does , because part of what I do to combat depression is I keep a positive mindset , because at one point in my life I was very negative . Anything that came out of my mouth was negative . Anything that people shed some light on , I'd be like I'd be poo-pooing on it , you know , right right .
So in my effort to overcome depression not even before my effort to overcome depression when I started going through positive self affirmations and positive quotes of the day , I found myself really resonating with these positive quotes and positive messages and I brought them directly to my students .
I'd be like , hey , you guys , what was the best thing that happened to you today ? You know ? So that has helped and the students love talking about the best things that they happen and they look forward to it . So I feel like in that aspect , in that respect I have it has helped with my teaching .
I got a question for you . So was your depression impacted or changed by COVID ?
I'm going to say very little . There was a point where , because I'm a teacher , we were still work , teachers were still working , but we're just working from home , and so it was just a different stress .
And I have to say that , being an introvert , I did not mind at first being quarantined , I didn't mind staying home every day and working from home , but I think after a while it kind of got to me . After a while I was just like OK , this is not normal , I need to step out .
And my husband and I would go on walks in the mornings and I found that I really look forward to those walks , wear our masks and we just take a walk to the park around the neighborhood and then come back . And I really felt that that helped me and my husband actually keep a positive mindset , because I think fresh air really helps with that .
But I have to say that in that time , during COVID , I kept up all the rituals that I had already set in place that conquered the depression , for instance , meditating every morning , saying the self affirmations , positive self affirmations , and writing .
All of those things I continued doing through the depression I mean , I'm sorry through COVID and the quarantine and so the lockdown , I should say , and I think that helped me overcome any type of serious depression that I would have gone into during that time , because it barely affected my mental state , I think .
Right
¶ Overcoming Depression and Finding Strength
. So what it sounds like you're saying your mindset has everything to do with everything , because if you are wavering in what you're going to do , then you'll be moved by your emotions . You'll be moved by this , that and the other , and so depression and anything else .
If you want to defeat it , that means that you got to make up your mind that you want to defeat it .
You know what I mean I say it all the time .
It's kind of like one of those things we pray and pray , ask God , take this from me , take this from me . And it's like if you don't give it to him , then he can't give you the way to get out of it . You know what I mean . He can't even set up the process for you until you're ready to walk in the process .
Yeah , absolutely , it is a mindset and unfortunately it's a very challenging mindset for many people to adopt .
Right .
So yeah .
Absolutely so . Tell everyone how they can read your blog and how they can get connected to you .
Sure , so my blog is kathiescrosswordpresscom and I have an Instagram account as well where I promote the blog , and it's kathy underscore , marie and the number one , and on Facebook I'm kathy jeffresois on Facebook , and you could always . I don't have my own landing page or a website or anything .
The only website I have is my blog , but people have sent me messages through Instagram and on Facebook as well . But other than that , I am working on the final edits of my novel and I'm going to be promoting it highly and I pretty much feel like it's kind of important for me to have a landing page for that .
But I'll be putting it onto my social media sites as well .
Right . Well , there's definitely ways , or there ain't ways , for us to really do . I'm going to say like this do things that we really don't . For me he's going to put ways in front of me that I was just like I don't know how to do this .
I need to do a website , I need to do this and I need to do that , but I don't really exactly know how to do it . And he just kind of put it before me and say here you go , and so , after we're all done and done , I'm going to give you a link . So that way that'll help you , because it helped us .
So I'll definitely give it to you , I'm sure that it will help you .
But at the end of the day and you look at what you've gone through , what you're going through , what is , let me say , what have you learned in this process of moving ? Because really there was a shift . Whereas one time you was a victim , now you're walking in victory , though you don't even though you still deal with the same issue .
You're at a different space of time , place .
Yeah .
Yeah , and so tell us what have you learned during the process and as you continue to go through it .
Oh gosh , that's a really good question . I'm going to say that I've learned oh , I know I've learned patience with myself and I've learned grace to really forgive myself for being so hard on myself , forgive myself for the little things as well as the big things , and to take it one day at a time , really , because it was a slow process .
It didn't just happen overnight . You know what I mean , that's right .
And that's a powerful thing , because it don't take a whole lot for us to start to get into stuff , but it takes us a while to get out of it . Yes , Actually . So we just have to allow grace to be effective in our life . We got to allow mercy to be . Allow mercy to work for us .
Not against us , but for us , and four and verse eight is powerful because you know the writer , which is Paul .
He says to us you know , for us to really focus on what's true , focus on what is just , focus on what is honest , pure , lovely and if you know a good report and whatever you know , whatever you , what you're focusing on in doing that , that's virtue . And he said what ? That's the thing .
On those things , no matter where you are , no matter in your process , where you are , look at what's true .
You're here , you know what I mean .
You are above ground and not underground . You know , things ain't everything . Things may not be exactly the way you want it to be . But , with the hand of God , he can make you know you feel like you at the back of the line . He could turn that thing around you at the front of the line .
Yep .
You know what I mean , so depression doesn't have to defeat you .
No .
And nothing else has to defeat you , because Jesus defeated depression . Jesus defeated anything that can come at you that would move you out of position and out of purpose . Just trusting in him , would you say that has been what has really brought you through this journey , that you're on trusting in the Lord .
Oh yeah , I think most definitely Real quick . I just want to say that I used to always pray the Lord , lord , please be with me , please be by my side . I used to always repeat that to me and then one day I realized I was like , no wait , I'm saying the wrong thing , because he is always on my side .
So then I started saying the Lord is with me , the Lord is by my side , the Lord is with me , the Lord is by my side . Any time that I feel a little bit , you know , not as confident in myself , any time I feel like I'm going through a situation that may be nerve wracking , anytime I always repeat that and I always feel so much better .
Hallelujah , amen . So , michael , you have a final thought to everything this man's saying .
Yeah , I would definitely say we got to take it for granted and ready to listen to what God tells us . Because there's a scripture in I think it's in 1 Corinthians 50 , I mean 15 . And 1 Corinthians , chapter 15 , verse 55 , that he takes the sting out of death .
And we got to realize , you know , everything that we go through he takes it , he takes the sting out of it so that the things that we go through in life it doesn't hurt , and you know it doesn't hurt , but it teaches us the lesson of life that everything and it goes further back to our very first episode of Ecclesiastes 3 , that everything is a purpose in
life . You know , it's everything that we go through , whether it's the depression , the guilt , the shame , the sorrow , the hurt , the pain , everything has to happen to get us to the point where God wants us . Because and I said this plenty of times and I said again , if we do not go through things in life , would we really turn to God ?
And that's the question because you know , if we don't go through stuff , would we get into our word or would that word just collect dust sitting on the shelf ? That's right and that's a thought that we all can reflect on is if we don't go through things and , as they always say , go through hell and hot water .
If you don't go through hell and hot water , would you really turn to God , would you ?
really ask .
God to save you through things in life if you don't go through stuff .
Right .
Ms Kathy , what's your final word , honey ?
That message . In my message , I want to say that we all are dealing with something . I feel that it's important that we turn to the things that we love in order to help us out of the desperation that we may feel . I just want to land with that , amen .
Father , we thank you so much . Thank you so much for this opportunity to be able to speak to a problem that's overcoming so many people . Thank you , god , that you have given us a living testimony that you can make it through .
Pray , god , that you will continue to bless her , bless her ministry , bless her writings , bless her mind and her heart , bless everyone that is associated and attached to her , or that she goes forth to do what you have called her to do .
Pray , god , in the name of Jesus , in the darkest hour , that she won't quit , she won't give up , and I speak that not only for Miss Kathy , but for every diamond that is here . We're all going through things , through life . I pray , god , that you will give us the strength , give us the power , the endurance to go through .
You say you did not give us a spirit of fear . I pray , god , that we would always remember that you did not give us a spirit of fear , that without faith it is impossible to please you .
I pray in the name of Jesus , lord , you will continue to shape us for the walk , for the journey , god , that you have placed us on , that we will be faithful and ready to do what it is that is needed to be done . Father , we bless you and we bless everyone here . We pray to thy prayers . I'm pleasing in your sight .
In Jesus' name , we do pray , amen , amen . We thank you so much for being here with us . Well , I was going to say one more time , but thank you for being here .
Thank you . Thank you so much for having me . I really enjoyed our discussion .
Yes , ma'am , we surely do appreciate it . Just hold on one second . We're going to talk to you after All , right ?
honey . All right , y'all . Y'all know what time it is . Until next time , remember you are a diamond in the rock .