¶ Healing From Unforgiveness and Its Dangers
Hello , how's everybody doing today ?
Amen . Welcome back one more time to God's Diamonds in the Rough . Amen , hallelujah . We are so glad that you have joined us one more time . I know that you know who we are , amen . But if you don't know for some reason , catherine .
And I am Michael .
Amen , and we are married , amen , and we are here just to show you what God has shown us . Come on somebody , hallelujah . So before we go any further , let's do it .
Let us pray , dear Heavenly Father , we just come to you right now saying thank you , thank for your grace and your mercy . We thank you for your forgiveness as we forgive others . We pray in the name of Jesus that you will continue to shape us and mold us into the diamonds that you want and created us to be .
We pray in the name of Jesus , asking that you just continue to grant us your grace and your mercy as long as we live . We pray in the name of Jesus that as we go and be with you , you are welcome to us with open arms and welcome my good and faithful servant .
We pray in the name of Jesus , rebuking any assignment of the enemy that we sent back into the picture where it came from . We pray in the name of Jesus that you are test of one that says pray for me . We pray in the name of Jesus , you will even test the one that has no desire to know who you are . We ask this thing all in Jesus mighty name .
We say thank you , thank you , and we say amen , amen , amen and amen .
Amen . So I hope that well , we hope that you got a lot out of the last episode in regard to forgiveness , because today we're going to be focused on the forgiveness and what exactly it can do to you if you hold on to it . You know what I mean .
We have touched on it briefly in the past , but you know today , since our focus , or the season , is all about revival , we need to understand really why unforgiveness can be so important , Really , why unforgiveness can literally kill you . Why is it that unforgiveness is ? It really is like a cancer and it slowly eats away at the heart of who you are . Amen .
So let's find out exactly what unforgiveness is , biblically , through the word , and what it does , and how you know how it can settle inside of you . But first , before we do that , honey , what's your thoughts ?
And you know , I know in the last episode you shared about your father , but is there anyone else that you have ever just not forgiven and realize the consequences of not forgiving and made it right ?
I would definitely say yes , because I would say , my biological brother . For a long time I had nothing but hatred and unforgiveness towards him and even to go along with that one of my biological sisters , I had , you know , unforgiveness for her .
But speaking about my brother , you know , I know that not forgiving him and letting it linger on and on and on and on , it kept me not being with my soulmate , which is my wife today .
And forgiving him , it allowed God to move through me and get me to the person that he had attended for me to be with and I would say , the unforgiveness on my biological sister . She recently passed away , a year ago , and I was able to mend that brokenness before she left us where Earth .
And I would , you know , definitely say that sometimes we got to understand that we don't get the opportunity like that to mend it before they're gone , because that's why we got to treat every day as it is our last , because we don't know when our loved one or when our friend or when our spouses is going to leave this earth and we're still behind .
That's why it's always a good set of operation to always treat it as your last .
Well , I'm sitting here and I'm trying to think for my own self has there been anybody I've ever just not forgiven and realized that I hadn't ? I think the one person I could say that I truly hadn't forgiven , hadn't forgiven until the Lord got a hold to my heart , was my father .
Then it was because some things had happened that I could not understand and I didn't want to understand it . I just didn't like it and I didn't want any parts with them . I didn't because he was mistreated as a child and because he was mistreated as a child . So were we ? You understand what I'm saying ? It happens all the time .
What I'm saying is that a lot of times we don't understand why people do what they do . That becomes the seed that blossoms into that unforgiveness , because it's attached to bitterness , it's attached to anger , it's attached to resentment .
I had all three of those things in regard to my father , towards him , and because I had all of those three things , it caused me to be unforgiving and it was fracturing our relationship , because I had decided in my mind I don't want nothing to do with him . I hate him . That was how I felt . But I'm just telling you .
That's just honest and me being transparent to you . I had a hate for my biological father , but , god , you heard me . I'm going to tell you something . There is power in him . Amen , hallelujah . Love with him . It's like a package deal . Do you hear what I'm saying With Christ ? It's a package deal .
When you buy a car , you go to the car lot and you buy a car . You don't buy the car without the steering wheel . Come on somebody . You don't buy the car without the back seat , unless you choose to buy a car without a back seat . You don't buy the car without the motor . You don't buy the car . Come on somebody .
You don't buy a new car , brand new car , okay . Because he says the old man passes away and behold a new man , amen . So when you go to a car lot and you buy a brand new car , you don't buy the essential things to make the car go . All of that comes in the package . It's in the package deal . What am I saying ?
I'm saying that when you pick up Jesus amen . When Jesus becomes the forerunner of who you are , then every other attributes of who he is you become . And so , because that is so , you can't mindfully and intentionally walk around with unforgiveness in your heart .
You have to release that because look , he says , you give me your burdens and look , he says , I'll give you my yoke . He says my yoke is what ? It's easy , you know , because , see , it's hard for us to consciously forgive people , amen . Because we're looking at what they did to me . This is what you did to me and it wasn't right , it didn't feel good .
So it's a conscious thing . You can't , it's hard , to consciously forgive somebody . But when you take on his yoke , he says I make it easy because that brokenness that you had inside of your heart , it is now that wound is closed up from the inside out and now you're able to operate fully and move in compassion . What's your thought ?
before I go any further , I'm glad you use that analogy on the car and I got to go back there for a second because something was dropped in my spirit just now and it makes clearly sense to me . Okay , when you go to a car lot new car lot , okay , and how you were saying you wouldn't purchase a car without the motor , the backseat , you know this .
This even get deeper , you wouldn't , purchase a brand new car without the brakes . Even the car that you get has enough gas to get it to the Phillips station . And see , that's the thing . The Phillips station for us is the word of God . We have enough in us to get to the next season , the next chapter , the next process .
But if you don't dip down in the word and fill up on the word , your wind are breaking down .
Mm-hmm . Yep , that's right , you have to get in the word .
That's right .
So don't allow yourself to be bitter . Go to the one you have the up with . Amen , go to them . Do not walk around here trying to live dead . A cancer is something that slowly eats away at your life . Amen . It takes a kill sales , it depletes sales , so they can't fight against the things that come in and make you weak .
This is why when people who have cancer and they go and they do the radiation and all of that this is why they lose their hair and they lose parts of them that would ordinarily fight against the attack . But in that case that radiation is not a harm but a help . It's killing the thing that's killing them so that they are able to revive and be restored .
This is what cancer does to you . Cancer eats away . Radiation can kill you if you get enough of it at the same time .
This is why , when you go to the doctor's office and all of that , they make you take off your jewelry and all of that stuff , because that radiation can kill you , but they can give you enough to kill the thing that's trying to kill you . Bitterness and envy and all of that operates just like that .
Those things when you're walking around with that type of thing in your spirit , in your heart . It slowly eats away , it is killing you . This is why you're stressed out . This is why you know you got nasty attitude , don't nobody want to be around you .
And all of that because you're walking around harboring anger and resentment and bitterness and everything else that's rooted in what is not of him . This is why you don't have no patience . This is why you don't have no real desire to be around anything that is alive . What does that mean ?
Cookouts and things like when you sit down and you have a good time with people that you love and you laugh and then joke , and this and the other Folks that harbor that type of thing . They don't want to be around people . They'd rather be all by themselves than to be around people .
Because I got so much anger and resentment that , look , if I'm miserable , I need somebody with me and if I can't bring anybody else with me , alongside with me , to be miserable with me , I don't want to be a part of joy .
Jesus , I gotta say this , you know , because sometimes we go through these things in life and we know it's killing us on the inside out , but we're still doing it to get the radiation . But I'm gonna change something right now . The radiation is not going to make you like David Banner or the Credible Hulk . It's not going to make you bigger in that area .
I just had to throw that in the little humor because , you know , when you say radiation , that's the first thing that popped my mind that TV show , david Banner and the Credible Hulk .
I want to read one scripture that I see kind of standing up , since I know what version it is , but it says be tolerant of one another and forgive each other If anyone has a complaint against another . Just as the Lord forgave you , you should also forgive . We have got to get rid of unforgiveness .
If you don't know how to forgive and you have decided I'm not gonna forgive them , he's not gonna forgive you . Forgiveness ain't really for them . Forgiveness is for you and it keeps you free , it keeps you alive , it keeps you fully functioning in the world . You're usable by him when you forgive .
¶ The Consequences of Unforgiveness
Amen , hallelujah , because nobody is perfect . We like to . You know , we have the expectation . We like to expect perfection out of people in regard to how they treat us . But the reality is is that impossible ? Amen , especially when the perfection is based on what we expect out of them . Come on somebody . Expectation is something for the people . You heard me ?
Amen , hallelujah . If I expect you to love me , I don't care what I do wrong , I expect you to love me , hallelujah . You gotta be willing to give that same type of love . Come on somebody , but when ?
Look when the expectation is limited on my part if you do what I want you to do , then I'll love you , but the minute you step outside of that box and you do something that I don't like , now all of a sudden , I hate you . Stay away from me . These are people who are operated in unforgiveness . They got some unforgiveness inside of their heart .
They got some resentment . They're angry . They got some bitterness . They got some jealousy , some envy . They got something going on that won't allow them to look past the offense or let go of the offense .
Something's going on and you know . Even with that , you know . I'm gonna tell you what Hebrews 12 , verse 5 . Hebrews 12 , verse 14 says in 15 . Appendance in the 14 . It says follow peace with all men and have holiness comma , without which no man shall see the Lord .
We gotta understand if we don't follow peace and have it , if you don't have peace , you will not see the Lord . It says look in diligence . Let any man's fail of the grace of God , at least any root of bitterness spring it up , trouble you and thereby many be defiled .
You gotta understand that if you do not have the peace , you will not see God , and anybody that's around you can be affected by it .
Wow , it's deep . It's deep water . Unforgiveness is deep water , amen . And what we have to realize is that there is root to it , amen . It doesn't just happen by happenstance . You know what I mean .
You , the reality is is that you got something that you're harboring in your heart that's causing you to be causing you not to forgive , especially in the same manner you want to be forgiven . Amen . You don't want God to hold any grudges against you . You don't want him to .
You don't want to go to the gate and say him say depart from you , depart from me , work of iniquity , amen .
You know , I'm sorry . It even goes further , because if you look at the latter half of it , he says I don't know you .
Amen . I mean , you know what I was gonna say . You know . You know you see people who are moving and operating and you know in themselves and you know they don't want to signify or , you know , claim God . They don't want to say they don't want to . You know aw , give him reverence and honor , for whatever reason they got . You know they .
You know they're angry at God . A whole lot of times people are angry with God and so , because they're angry with God , they tend to devalue people and relationships . Because they're mad at God , they push away truth because they're mad at truth . You know what I mean they . You know people are doing all sorts of things because they are . I lost my thought .
You lost my thought , made me lose my thought . Cutting on the music . I'm sorry , get out from me . His fault Made me lose my thought . I lost my thought . Y'all you should watch your phone . You had a Michael moment , just now . Michael just damn it .
My thought is , you know , when we we got to understand that , look , it's going to be times in life that we're going to go through things in life and it might not line up the way we think . Because we got to understand love , the thing that goes through in life is for the reason of God , bringing us closer to Him Made me lose my thought .
Oh my God , I ain't even y'all , I ain't even . Let me see , I'm going to read something for y'all as we get ready to wrap up today , and I'm at the website . It is HopeJoyInChristcom , and I'm going to read this article , and I'm going to read as much as the spirit tells me . The spirit is just telling me to read this article right now .
The writer or author of this particular website her name is Tiffany , and she has here a Jesus girl with a mission to help Christian women grow in faith , overcome anxiety and have a successful marriage . This particular topic that I'm on it is unforgiveness . What happens when I refuse to forgive ?
She says we have talked a lot about the importance of forgiveness , but we rarely live out the principle . The problem is that there is such a heavy price to pay for unforgiveness . I feel like I need to camp out in the wise a little longer , though , because the how-tos of forgiveness will not go heart deep if we don't really internalize the why , amen .
See , this is exactly what we are talking about , amen , and what we're trying to speak to . So let me see , let's go with the why first , and then the why is who else struggles to do the hard things of Christianity . Honestly , it's not that I can or don't want or don't do them , but I don't do them . Well , the first time .
Maybe it's just the way for me , but I have to really embrace the why for doing hard things . Forgiveness is no different . It is already been said . It is not an easy thing to forgive consciously . This is why we need Jesus . She says so .
With the issue of unforgiveness , I have to ask a lot of questions and search out the answers until they are deep in my heart . Forgiveness , unforgiveness they are heart issues , wouldn't you agree ?
Yeah , definitely because .
Heart issues .
It's definitely a heart issue , because everything we go through in life , you know , that's why it says the things that we feel , the things that we speak , the things that we say , it generates in our hearts . First it's brought to our mind to process it , then it's released to our mouth .
Yeah , I'm reading , I'm just reading . Y'all just give me a second here . She says forgiveness is humbling . It can bring you . It can bring you right down to the knees in a moment , and so it is much easier to choose unforgiveness . This is powerful , she says . We often let forgiveness stop at our lips . Someone wrongs us and we say I forgive you .
Maybe they never apologize , but we know God requires forgiveness , so we go through the motions with him . The problem with shallow forgiveness is that it never reaches our hearts . Forgiveness must be heart deep to make a difference . This is powerful . It must be heart deep to make a difference .
This is what we were talking about in the last episode , about the simple fact that we can say it , but if we don't treat them as such , then we're not . We haven't really forgiven them , he says . She says I know because I have personally walked through the consequence of unforgiveness . She says she's going to tell us about it .
I wish my testimony was beautiful . She says that I met Jesus as a child and walked faithfully with him Ever since . In fact , when I meet people who have that story , it hurts my heart how badly I wish it were my own . Instead , my walk with the Lord has been filled with heartache and hardship .
My childhood was filled with horrors like rape , abuse , neglect , poverty and the like . While I grew up in a church , my church people lived one way in front of the preacher , in a completely different way everywhere else , of course . Growing up in the church meant I had hundreds of sermons about forgiveness . I had heard hundreds of sermons about forgiveness .
We must forgive the preacher around , she said , but I didn't know how to do it . I tried many times , but no matter how hard I tried to forgive the horrors of my life , I was all tangled up in the consequences of unforgiveness . What are consequences of unforgiveness ?
Maybe you would ask it more like this what is the fruit of unforgiveness ? Bitterness and resentment are the effects of unforgiveness , which are seen as cold , hard , heartless . In my life , this looked like sarcasm .
Cynicism .
Cynicism , being closed off to real relationships and never letting anyone get close enough to hurt me . I pushed people away and never let good people around . My friends were just as broken as I was , because I didn't believe I deserved anything but pain , because if you expect little , you are hurt less often .
The root of bitterness and unforgiveness crept into my heart well before I ever understood what was going on , and it has taken years to dig it out .
Look , we about to wrap up . This is the last part , but we want to encourage you to go to this website .
You can find out more about her story and unforgiveness and why she is a champion for unforgiveness , teaching it the right way , definitely inhabiting everything that has already been said over the last , this episode and the last episode and previous episodes Amen .
And so I'm just going to read this final passage that she has and then we are going to pray and you check out this website . It again . It is Hope Joy and Christian . Excuse me , I'm sorry , hope Joy and Christcom . Backslash unforgiveness , backslash pound . Unforgiveness has a heavy price tag .
I'm sure you can leave that ending part off of that , but that is the website . We want to make sure that we share it so you can check it out for yourself . She says my spiritual life was no longer excuse me , my spiritual life was no better than my social life because of unforgiveness .
You see , god was in my heart throughout a lifetime of pain and suffering . I prayed , I read my Bible , I was in church . I was doing all the things I had been taught should keep wait a minute . I was doing all the things I had been taught should keep a Christian from suffering such horrors .
I believe God was all powerful , all knowing and could step at any time and stop what happened to me , but he didn't stop it , so I closed my heart off to him as well . At some point in my youth I decided I couldn't trust God anymore , and it showed in my walk . She says when a Christian is not into reading the Bible or prayer .
She says if you can't be bothered with going to church beyond the Sunday sermon , being a community , being in a community where others might see and know your issues , when you live one way Sunday and another the rest of the week , there is a good chance . There is unforgiveness in your heart , jesus .
Some other signs of unforgiveness in my heart or the symptoms of unforgiveness were or were , overuse of sarcasm , easily offended , quick to anger over small offenses , cutting words instead of encouraging words , too much entertainment and not enough quiet time of God , overly emotional or a lack of emotion . Jesus , all right , y'all . Final passage .
Michael's going to read it and then I'm going to pray .
This is what are the dangers of unforgiveness ? When there is unforgiveness in our hearts about old things , we are also not able to pray for those with pure hearts and we carry out . We carry that cold heart , hard heart , forged in the furnace of venerence and resentment , into every relationship . Have you ever loved a cold hearted person , jesus ?
Maybe the fire of love covers it up at first , but when the new weirs are , the danger that is , unforgiveness is a habit they can't break . My marriage suffered greatly in the beginning because of unforgiveness in my past . Not that bud and I had a great marriage . Believe me , he brought his own mess into our marriage , but it could have been been easier .
It wasn't until I was at a breaking point that God began showing me how to forgiveness of the horrors in my past with destroying any chance of forgiving bud in our marriage . The danger of unforgiveness is that it has the potential to overpower and destroy every good thing in your life . It's left unchecked .
It did mine for a long time and I don't want to see what happened to you , sweet friend .
Father , we thank you so much , jesus . Wow , father , jesus , we thank you so much for , for some of us , you have given us the answer to questions we've asked . Lord , we thank you , god , so much for this young lady who you put before us through the internet . God , we pray that you will continue to bless her .
Bless her ministry , ms Tiffany , bless her , god . Bless every ear that has an ear to hear .
We know , god , that whoever you have here to listen to this podcast , to this particular episode , it wasn't by accident and it wasn't by coincidence that you drew us here into this place on purpose , god , and I just pray , lord , that you will continue to shape us again into the diamonds you desire us to be .
We pray that you will bless this ministry , continue to bless all who desire you , and that you would have your way . We thank you , we bless you . We pray this prayer in the mighty name of Jesus Christ . We do pray Amen , amen , amen and amen .
Hallelujah . All I can say is that that was deep and you know , we got to understand . Look , when we get into those moments that we think we're alone , there's somebody out there that's going through the same thing that you are . You're not going to abide yourself .
We all go through our ups and our downs and our pains , even because we're wrapped up in the stained-core flesh . Yep , that's right , amen .
Well , that was good , y'all , that was good . So , um , I think , if the Lord doesn't prompt us to do anything else , I think the next episode we're going to have the interview to come up with Ms Dutton . Amen and um , y'all , just please be encouraged . Let it go . Let go of the things that you , you know that you can't change .
You got to art again Something . Just deal with it , because you don't want this same thing that this young lady experienced to happen to you . You don't , none of us do . You know , as long as you live , I'm sure everybody has had somebody , at least one that they had feelings and they didn't know how to shake them , they didn't know how to get rid of them .
But Jesus became the answer . Amen . If Jesus hasn't become your answer , he is the answer . Amen , he is the answer . Hallelujah . Thank you so much again . We bless your week and you have a great day .
And remember until next time you are a diamond in the rough Amen .