#176 S5 EP 50: Embracing Responsibility, Overcoming Victimhood with Robert Hunt's Wisdom

Y'all got me and we have a guest with us today . Amen , michael is out busy doing things . Amen , y'all know that happens here sometimes , amen , he's not always able to be here , but in spirit he's here . Hallelujah , amen . So back to the subject at hand . We are going to be talking today about accountability , amen . So back to the subject at hand .

We are going to be talking today about accountability , amen , something that in our society today a lot of folk lack . They don't want it , don't want to have nothing to do with accountability because it's always somebody else's fault , but the reality is we God holds us accountable at the end of the day , Amen . And we need to know how to handle accountability .

So his name is Robert Hunt , amen . He is an author , but more than anything , he is a man of God , ready , amen , to give us what God has given him . So , before we go any further , let us go ahead and pray . Father , we thank you so much for your grace and your mercy .

Thank you , god , for allowing us this day and this time to be able to have a conversation with you . I pray , god , that you would speak to us in such a way that we cannot miss you . I pray for every diamond , every heart that is here , god , that they are here on purpose , for purpose , that they will get what it is you desire to give them .

Father , we glorify your name and we lift your name on high . We pray all blessings on your people , god , and we pray that you will bless your man servant and your woman servant as we go forth to do your will . We pray this prayer and we ask it all in the precious name of Jesus Christ . We do pray Amen , amen and amen , hallelujah , amen , okay y'all .

So Robert is here and I want to ask him to say , I want to ask you , robert , to say hello to our audience and introduce yourself the way you desire .

I wrote this book called Nobody Cares because I wanted to challenge people to stop playing the role of a victim in their lives , and I think a lot of times we're not even aware that we're playing the role of victim . So we outline the concepts of accountability in the book . We tell our own story and I'd love to share that with you today .

And , at the end of the day , if you own your own business , you understand what it's like to be accountable , because , whether or not you like this or that , it doesn't matter , it's your business , it's your responsibility , and so we who own our own business , we get it . But the rest of the world , I think , often is comfortable playing the role of a victim .

They don't think about it , and so we outline in the book these principles . We decided to write the book because in 2020 , we watched the world just kind of divide in a lot of ways . If you voted for Trump , I hate you . If you didn't vote for Trump , I hate you . If you voted for Trump , I hate you . If you didn't vote for Trump , I hate you .

If you wore a mask , I hate you . If you didn't wear a mask , I hate you . It was just a lot of anger and , at the end of the day , it was evident that we've lost the idea of accountability , and so we wanted to teach the principles of accountability .

Kathy and I , we lived this out in our own lives , we saw how the freedom and power that comes from accountability , and and so our hope is that this book will help change people's lives by helping them see where they live life as a victim and they're not aware of it and the tools and the benefit of being truly accountable .

My mom had four kids when she found out that my her husband had did not get a vasectomy and that the fifth kid was now coming , and she decided to not abort me , which I'm very thankful for . But we grew up very poor . He couldn't keep a job , so that made him feel like a loser .

He took out his anger on us and beat my mom and beat me , and so I've gone through all these things in my life that I could look back and say , hey , I've been victimized , but I'm not a victim . I grow up , I get older , I get married .

I'm married 10 years , have a two-year-old daughter and my wife decides to leave and take my daughter and go and start her own journey , and so I felt wronged in that moment and in the process I went through a bankruptcy , lost everything , and I would say I was victimized , but I'm not a victim .

And so there's lots of things you can see in your life that happened to you , that are a bummer or really downright horrible , and if you choose to , you can stay mired in that victim's mentality or you can say , yeah , that was wrong and evil . However , that does not define me . I am not a victim , especially those of us who are in Christ .

We are victorious in Christ . That's right . Which is one of my frustrations with the church today is that we spend an awful lot of time complaining about how God doesn't do this or that , or how come God doesn't give me a better marriage . How come God doesn't take care of this problem ? How come I don't get a better job ?

How come God doesn't owe us anything ? He gave us his own life . He died on the cross to forgive us the sins that we could never pay . We've been given eternal life in the spirit of God . We have all the power in the world and all we do is complain that we don't have this or that We've lost our perspective .

We're not even aware of it .

And you make excuses that make you feel better about it . Your friends go yeah , that's not right . And yeah , you're right , you were wrong . And then we're out of work for a while . So we get offers for jobs and we say , well , I can't afford to take that job that pays me less than I made at the last company . And we say we can't .

But we really mean I won't . And we're inhibiting God to do things through us because we don't like it . It's not easy , it's not comfortable , it's not what I want , it's not what I deserve . And then , at the end of that book , kathy and I at one point owed $90,000 in debt , not including the house or the cars . And we did that to ourselves .

But every year we kept going okay , lord , you got to get us out of debt , you got to bring me business . Help me grow my business , let me have the blessings . We used to say when is God going to bless our business ? And the reality is he did bless me . He gave me an amazing wife who loves me . My kids don't are living in wheelchairs .

I live in texas it's the greatest country in america . I have all these great things going on and all I did was want to complain and whine and and shake my fist at god going , hey , come on , let's get it together . And he wasn't impressed . And so we had to really come to grips to say at some point look , nobody cares . If cares .

If you're fat , broke , unhappy with your marriage , can't keep a job . Nobody cares unless you care enough to do something about it . And that's the turning point . That's why we call that in the book when you decide I'm not happy with this situation and I'm going to do something about it . That's when you begin the journey towards accountability .

And the process we went through was very hard to get out of $90,000 of debt . But we outline it in the book because we want to teach people that , although something is hard , it doesn't mean it's impossible .

And if I can't and the blame and excuse don't work , then we just wait . We wait it out , thinking , okay , maybe it'll get better . Making minimum payments on your credit card is waiting and hoping . Not going to a counselor , even though you know your marriage is on the rocks , is waiting and hoping .

Not giving up alcohol , even though it's ruining your life , is waiting and hoping . And so we kick it down the road . And then at some point you realize wait , wait , wait . Nobody cares unless I care enough to do something . And you decided that moment okay , I'm going to own this , I'm going to do something .

And it's at that point you cross into the part of the journey where you're going somewhere , you're not huddled in as a victim , you're moving towards a victorious life . And so then at that point you need to acknowledge reality we talked about , like standing in front of a mirror , naked in a 360-degree mirror . There's no hiding it .

When you're naked , you see what is truth , and so it does that kind of vulnerability where you go okay , this is what's real . And in our case , we had to hire a financial advisor to come in and look at the way we spent money and go , wow , is that how you want to spend money in your life ? Well , no , why do you do it ?

I don't know , and we had to have someone who would call us out and ask us questions . That was vulnerability , that was transparency , and without vulnerability , you'll never have accountability in your life .

So when we assess the situation and we realize we have $90,000 in equity in our home we have more than that and we could go ahead and sell our house and start over you have to embrace the suck . That's the next chapter , that's the next step . Once you assess what's reality , you might realize that it sucks , and that's okay , because life sucks .

There's a lot of things that are hard , but just because it's hard doesn't mean we don't do it . So we embrace the suck . We created a plan and then you make it happen . And in that journey of doing all that , it was hard , but it was hard being a victim too , except I had no hope . I felt miserable .

I woke up every morning thinking , if I work my butt off all day , I'm still never going to get out of debt . And I felt hopeless . But it was because I wasn't willing to do the hard things . I wasn't willing to take the steps that were required to make the change I wanted . And it's not like I wasn't aware of it , I just didn't want it .

It's not like I couldn't , I just didn't want it Anyway . So we walked that journey , sold the house , started over and we moved into this house . Four years later we're still here renting this little lovely home . And we paid off all our debt and we had zero . And that's when COVID hit and shut down the world .

And it was okay because I didn't know any money . I could go to Walmart and make whatever I , whatever I make per hour , and I wouldn't care because I don't know any money . It was beautiful right , okay

.

Vulnerability , yeah , we want accountability , we want to have accountability .

learning , because you had to learn , you had to start over again , learning how to do it his way .

But if I hide it and I never talk about it , it still remains a cancer inside of me that's not getting any better . But if I can have people around me who love me and care about me and I'm willing to be honest with them , I now have people who will support me and pray for me , encourage me . But in our world we love to commiserate with one another .

If you want to complain about your spouse or your kids or your job , the whole world's going to back you up . Yeah , your kids are rotten , yeah , yeah . Yeah , the whole world's going to back you up . Yeah , your kids are rotten Stuff like that . They want to join in the commiserating .

But instead , if you say , look , I feel like I'm not a good parent , I feel like a lot of times I lose my cool with my kids and I don't want to be that way , will you pray with me ? Will you encourage me ? Will you ask me how I'm doing , I'm going to do this and this and you lay it out to them , or what you're going to do .

And here's a really important principle no one can hold anyone accountable . But we can create an environment where I want to be accountable If I am vulnerable , if I'm honest enough with someone to say I got a problem and I don't do my money . Well , and that's embarrassing . But would you help me write a budget ?

Would you come over to my house and look at what I spend and help me put on a piece of paper what I should spend and how much I should save ? And if they look at your checkbook and they look at what you spend , wow , that's humbling , that's embarrassing . But if you really want to get help , you'll invite people into your journey and let them support you .

But at the end of the day , you could lie to them and deceive and change the numbers and do whatever you want . They're not going to make you be accountable , but they are going to encourage you if you invite them in .

Those are , I call them , self self-inflicted prisons that we tend to put ourselves in but you know , through his word and through this book , it's definitely .

Well , maybe I should spend so much money and I like the way I live my life . Sort of I don't like that . I'm broke but I like to party . And so if you declare you're going to do something that's responsible , then I look at like , well , are you ? Are you judging me ?

You know , people get all bound up in their own junk so much they can't even support you . So sometimes we have to find other friends , because the same friends who encourage you to be foolish and irresponsible are probably not the ones you're going to encourage you to own it and do what's right .

And that's not to say you don't , you just leave all your friends behind . But sometimes you need different friends who will help you be better than what you are at . And you bring them in , you invite them in , you're really transparent . You let you tell them what your plans are and you let them encourage you .

You're necessarily abandoning all your other friends , but they're probably not the ones to help you be your best yeah , yeah , I think that , um , social media does that as well .

I got People know you didn't want you to pay cash for that , but we brag about it , yeah , and it's like yeah , cool , good job . So this has become like this mindset of showing me how much money you can get into debt for right . It's like crazy . But we're not talking about the other side . Look , when I'm heavy in debt , I don't make good decisions .

I feel stressed , and then the washing machine breaks down and then I get really mad . Because the washing machine broke down , but because I have so much debt . I've got a real problem here . It affects how I treat my kids and my spouse and it affects how I look at the whole world . Can I tithe and give graciously when I owe a bunch of money ?

No , it's hard to be available for God to move in our lives when we put them in a box and say , hey , there's no money , therefore you can't use me in this area .

But if I'm responsible for the money he's given me and all the money I have came from God , so if I take this money and I waste it on me or doing whatever I want , and then he shows up and says , hey , your neighbor needs some money for electricity this month and you can't help them out because you parted your other money , that's not using God's money

responsibly . That 10% we give is an opportunity to recognize who God is . That's the bare minimum . The other 90% still belongs to God . He just let us use it . But he wants us to be responsible with that money and if we just use it and then we're not available for what he wants to do in our lives , that's very selfish .

God doesn't pour more into a person who's selfish with their resources . Someone who gives graciously , god's like good . You're doing good with that , let me give you more . But if everything you get goes to you and you party and it's all gone , why would God give you more ? You're irresponsible . You don't deserve more . You've modeled that . You don't deserve it .

It's absolutely a word for our time , and it's a timely word because we live in a world where everybody's about themselves , even the men and the women that are supposed to be representing Christ about ourselves oftentimes . So what other encouragement do you have you would like to share with the audience ?

And he wrote this whole book about overload and what happens to us in

overload . And so I've been practicing the principles of margin for about six years , and what it says , what it does for me , is that it allows God to have room in your life to interrupt you . And so every day this is in the book we measure four buckets of stuff , because everything in life has limits . There's 24 hours a day , seven days a week .

There's a limit , there's a limit in time . There's a limit to everything , and so if you recognize that there's a bucket of time , money , health and emotion , and you look at how you create room for God to interrupt in those areas and you live a life where God has the freedom to interrupt your day , then you're ready for God to do something in your life .

But if you spend everything you have in your own world , god has no room to use you . So if you're super maxed out in your calendar and there's no time for anything , you're working super long days , and then your kid needs some time , or your spouse needs some time , or your neighbor needs time .

This morning I had breakfast with a guy who's unemployed , been out of a job for almost a year , and he asked me on LinkedIn will you meet with me ?

I'm like sure , and I could buy him breakfast and just pray with him and encourage him because I manage my time and I manage my money , and so I was able to go and care for this guy who I don't know I know now , but he didn't know before I was able to interrupt my life , said go meet with this guy and love this guy and help him .

So we want to make sure we live a life that creates room for God to interrupt . Otherwise , when something comes up , we go Lord , I don't have time or I don't have money , or my health is bad , I can't be used here because I've got all these things . We limit God's movement in our life by not creating room for him to interrupt .

That's what margin's all about , and as I pursue the life I really want , I take ownership of my situation about and as I pursue the life I really want , I take ownership of my situation . I own it that's accountability and I make the changes I need to make so that I can live the life I really want .

So God can interrupt me whenever he feels like it with my time , my money , my health , my emotions . I give him the room to actually rule in my life , versus just visiting him on Sunday and say I'll be back here next Sunday , I'll check in on you again . Let's take him with us every day to work so that God can say go talk to that coworker .

Right now their life is falling apart and they need somebody who will care for them . Take some of the money I gave you and go give it to this organization so they can bless these other people . Take some time in your in your life to slow down and rest so that you're ready to be a kind , caring human . That's why the Sabbath was created . All these things .

That's about margin . I would love for people to understand that there's more out there if we create margin in our lives , and margin is that in the book as well . No , I talk a little bit about it , but this is the book here . It's Margin by Richard Swenson .

Okay , it's got a parking meter on the front of it , but those are principles that I've applied in my life . You know , I didn't have margin before

. When I was broke , I had no financial margin . Therefore I had no time margin because in order to make up for the fact I didn't have the money , I would work a million hours . And then my emotions were maxed out because even if I worked a million hours , I still wasn't going to pay off $90,000 . So I had no emotional margin .

It kept me from sleeping well , so my health wasn't good . So my solution to all this stress was drink more bourbon and eat more snacks late at night and sit up and watch TV , not go to bed at a decent hour . So I'm tired , I'm fat and my health is falling apart . I'm stressed . All that because I wasn't managing my time and I wasn't managing my money .

It's all connected . But when I took ownership for it and I became accountable and I said I'm not living the life I want and I'm not available for God's life purpose in my life , I had to make a change and it was super hard , but it's way better than being a victim .

A lot of times , we don't quite understand things that are happening in our lives , and I say this because we oftentimes pray and we ask God for you know , patience or whatever have you , or we ask God to help us , um , manage time or whatever have you , and then it always goes back to something that we never put a word to .

But it's actually happening for me . That is what's happening . The Lord is making me slow down . So , because I've been talking to him , asking him for clarity and understanding what , because my life got to a point where it was just going so fast that I did not have time to understand what was happening .

I'm like I'm out of balance , out of alignment , something's wrong . Lord , help me to get where you need me to be . And this whole process just been slowing down and it's just you put word . Once again , you're not like the first guest that has done that for me . Put words to what is happening in my life , because I don't understand it .

But I thank you for that word and I know that it's somebody else here that needed that word . Margins , vulnerability , accountability , ownership . They are all power words and you know that's the desire , the heart of God for us . You have a final word , anything else you'd like to share ? How about where we get your book ?

But more than that , I want to get you involved in our community so we can stay in touch . I want to hear about your journey , I want to encourage you and what you're doing . For your podcast I created a specific domain which is nobody cares P O Dcom . Nobody cares Pod , potcom Nobodycarespodcom .

And if they enter the code word diamonds into the contact form , I will mail out a book at my cost to the first two people who send me a contact form and that way I can give that book away to people who are listening to your show as just a way of encouraging them in their process .

It cost me $35 to send a $15 book to Kenya , but the guy was listening to the podcast and I'm going to honor my word .

If you were to say today that I'm going to work the best I can , staying focused and prioritizing against the things that are important , and then leave the results to God , then you can stop at the end of the day and be content . You know , contentment is not the absence of drive or excellence .

Contentment is when you want to do your best to move the results to God .

And so if you just said every day I'm going to do my best today with what I've got and I'm going to stop at five o'clock or six o'clock , whatever your cutoff is , and go home and live your life and enjoy friendships and invest in the world around you , I guarantee you you will have a better life .

They are not , but they feel that way , and we've grown up being comfortable with these things that hold us back , their lies , and so I pray , in the name of Jesus , that they would find freedom , which is what you came to give us freedom and confidence in you . Or that they would look at their life and say am I living the life I want ?

And , if not , what am I willing to do to pursue the life that God has created for me ? A life of freedom and joy and blessings to ourselves as well as the world around us . A life of freedom and joy and blessings to ourselves as well as the world around us . We pray you would open our hearts to hear you stirring in our hearts and be obedient to you .

In the name of Jesus .