Because online dating had it coming
"I’m not ready” sounds mature, responsible, and self-aware. But what if it’s just a softer way of saying no? In this episode, I unpack what readiness actually means, when waiting is wise, when it’s avoidance, and why nobody ever reaches a point of being fully healed before love.
Ask anyone why their last relationship ended and you’ll hear a very confident story. The problem is, most of those stories aren’t accurate. This episode breaks down how and why breakups get rewritten over time, why nobody thinks they were the problem, and how that mindset will completely wreck future relationships.
Everyone thinks dating success comes down to chemistry, texting, or what you say on the date. Most second dates are lost long before the conversation even matters. In this episode, we’re talking about the small, brutally simple things people notice instantly (like hygiene, presentation, manners, effort) and why skipping them silently kills attraction before you ever get a real chance. Nobody tells you this stuff. They just ghost you. You need to hear these things, so let’s talk about them....
Dating apps didn't stop working because you got older, they stopped working because they were redesigned not to work. The apps realized their most profitable users are the ones who never succeed. This episode breaks down how dating apps shifted from helping you find someone to keeping you just hopeful enough to stay, why the pool is now full of the emotionally unavailable, and why you keep blaming yourself for a system that was never designed for you to win.
When you start dating someone who is emotionally available, it can feel…off. There’s no anxiety, no guessing, and no emotional rollercoaster. They text you back, show up, and don’t disappear. And somehow that can feel less exciting than someone who’s inconsistent, grieving, or still emotionally attached to their past. In this episode, we break down why emotionally healthy people often don't feel as exhilarating at first, why emotionally unavailable people feel magnetic, and how your nervous syst...
The psychology behind why dating feels worst on Sunday nights, why you miss your ex when you’re tired, and how emotional exhaustion makes your brain lie about your future.
Americans think dating is hard everywhere. It's not. The way we do it, app-driven, hyper-individualistic, like a never-ending job interview, is an outlier. This episode compares how dating works in France, Japan, and Denmark, then breaks down what Americans are getting wrong and what we can learn from cultures that make connection less exhausting and more human.
Going back to an ex feels like skipping the line. You already know each other, you have history, and starting over sounds exhausting. But research shows that on-again, off-again relationships usually increase stress, conflict, and dissatisfaction. This episode breaks down when a second chance can work, and when you're just yearning the familiar past.
In the Season 3 opener, we're going to upset some listeners as we discuss how, when someone says they’re “still friends” with their ex, it often means the relationship never fully ended. We explore emotional proximity, unfinished attachment, and why staying close to an ex quietly sabotages new relationships, even if no one wants to admit it.
Trent talks about what’s really going on behind those perfect couple posts, shares his experience staying way too long in an abusive relationship, and explains why sometimes being alone might actually be the win.
There’s a point where dating apps stop feeling hopeful and start feeling heavy. In this episode, Trent talks about dating while tired. When you still want connection, but don’t have the energy to keep auditioning for one. From app burnout and inbox math to why effort no longer scales the way it used to, this episode is about protecting your energy without giving up on love entirely. If you’ve ever seen a “someone liked you” notification and felt absolutely nothing, you’re not alone....
Resetting your profile sounds like a hack. Sometimes it’s just replaying the same disappointment. Here’s what the algorithm is doing, when resets help, when they tank you, and the real strategy that gets you seen.
This episode explains why the dating pool feels smaller than ever, what happens when you have to be better than someone's already good life, and how to handle an age gap in relationships. Plus, a related listener question about dating younger women.
Dating apps promised unlimited options. Instead, most of us got ghosting, burnout, and five half-assed chats at once. This week, we're getting deep into why good people can’t focus on one person, and how choice overload means you’re always one swipe away from being replaced. It's not something you're going to want to miss.
Ever wonder why we only recognize the best moments after they’ve slipped by? This episode dives into the ache of missing wonderful chapters, even as you’re living them. From leaving behind messy apartments and old relationships to the science of nostalgia, regret, and derealization. It’s all about why we struggle to notice the good stuff when it’s right in front of us, and how to start being present before it’s too late.
How do you see yourself, and how do others see you? One summer, everything changed for me on the outside. On the inside? Not so much. This episode explores why we never really feel like we fit, even when the world says we do. If you’ve ever felt like you’re faking it, this one’s for you.
I’ve been living in a hotel with my dog, Holly. Not on vacation, but stuck between homes, routines, and tourists in the elevator. This week, I discuss holding it together when nothing feels familiar while pretending everything is fine on the air. I’m also realizing that "boring" might have been the best phase all along.
A quick detour before the next full episode drops. These are the moments listeners keep messaging me about. The parts where I apparently said something honest enough that it stuck. If you’re new, this is a good place to start. If you’ve been here since the beginning, thanks for staying.
Usefulish is all about the weird threads between the past and the present. The outdated customs, bizarre social rules, and how none of us are as evolved as we think. This is another show I created and I think it fits right in with the current Girls Can Tell vibe. Curiosity, psychology, and how humans are the way humans have always been.
My dating app screening process filters out 98% of matches before the first date, and has a 100% success rate with those who make it through. And, no, it's not for sale. I'll take you from swipes to relationships, how I protect my time and why being picky at 50 is so important. 15 minutes on the reality of dating when you know what you want.
AI isn't "just a tool" anymore. And soon, you will be. We lay out the phases from helpful assistant to human obsolescence, why every job's vulnerable, why the experts are full of shit, and what you can do about it now. This is a 20 minute wake-up call you can't afford to miss. Seriously, I don't know why you're even still reading this, go listen!
This is a replay of one of the most popular episodes from days gone by on girls can tell, because episode 27 is taking a considerable amount of time because there's a lot of research going into it. It's going to be an extra important, extra long, action-packed episode and everything you ever dreamed a podcast could be, and almost too much, quite frankly. You might never listen to another podcast again after hearing it, which is next Tuesday. This Tuesday, we're going to listen back to a classic,...
People claim to be open-minded, but try to change their opinion on something, and you'll see the walls come up. Whether it's about relationships or a bad habit, resistance to change is strong. In this episode, we talk about 10 harsh truths about why our brains resist change so fiercely. Confirmation bias, identity threats, and the agony of admitting we're wrong, we'll explain why facts aren’t enough to change your mind. Do you think you can change someone's mind? Do you think YOU can change your...
In this episode, I get into the truth about broken trust, can you actually rebuild it, or is it gone forever? Whether it's relationships, family, or shady bosses, I break down what happens when trust is lost and why most people want the quick fix instead of doing the work. Can trust can come back under the right conditions? Maybe, but almost nobody’s willing to do what it actually takes to get there. Do you even want to rebuild it, or is walking away the smarter move? We'll try and straighten it...
A listener named Bethany reached out to us. She has been considering starting a podcast for months. She has the name, the microphone, and the concept, but she hasn’t recorded anything yet. She's afraid it won’t be good enough. Does this sound familiar? This episode is for Bethany and everyone else stuck in the perfectionism, procrastination, paralysis loop. If you have an idea you haven’t acted on, or a project that’s been on your mind, and all you can think is, what if I do it, and it sucks? Yo...
Turns out, those feel-good pieces of advice we've probably all given are nothing but lies. In this episode, we'll tackle 10 classic pieces of bad advice and explain why they keep people broke, stuck, single or miserable. You’ve heard them all, now hear why they're all wrong.
You’ve heard these phrases your whole life. But have you ever stopped to ask what the hell they actually mean? In this episode, we look at the bizarre origins of saying like, kick the bucket, riding shotgun, bite the bullet, and, you can take that to the bank! Because since we keep saying this shit as if it makes sense, maybe we should find out what they actually mean. I got you!
Girls Can Tell returns for season 2 with a quick update on what’s been happening and what’s coming next. Think of season two as sharper, meaner, and more uncomfortably honest episodes than ever before.
You’re not ghosting, chasing, or spiraling because someone didn’t text back in three hours. So, what the hell is wrong with you? Well, you just might be securely attached! In the final part of our attachment style series, we’re describing what secure attachment actually looks like, how it’s built, and why it makes dating easier and a little less thrilling when you’re used to things being crazy. If you wonder whether you’re healthy or detached, we'll help you differentiate between the two....
Trick question, I made it up. However, it sounds like a nicer way of saying 'anxiously attached.' In part two of our series, we delve into the chasers, the nervous ones, and explain where this wiring originates. Explore how and why it disrupts relationships and discover ways to break the cycle. Whether you're the anxious one or your partner is, we all know someone anxious, and this episode will give you some things you can use today to improve your relationship.
