060 - The Gilded Age a Tale of Today Chapter 59 - podcast episode cover

060 - The Gilded Age a Tale of Today Chapter 59

Jan 06, 202623 min
--:--
--:--
Download Metacast podcast app
Listen to this episode in Metacast mobile app
Don't just listen to podcasts. Learn from them with transcripts, summaries, and chapters for every episode. Skim, search, and bookmark insights. Learn more

Episode description

Originally published in 1873, The Gilded Age A Tale of Today stands as Mark Twains only co-authored novel, crafted alongside his close friend C.D. Warner. This collaboration ignited from a playful challenge posed by their wives. The title The Gilded Age has since become a powerful symbol of graft, materialism, and corruption in public life, themes that resonate profoundly in todays society. Twains keen observations and character-driven narratives draw from real-life events and relatives, a connection he later revealed in his 2011 Autobiography. Join us as we explore this timeless reflection of American society, narrated by John Greenman.

Transcript

Speaker 1

This is section fifty nine of The Gilded Age. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. The Gilded Age, A Tale of to Day by Mark Twain and C. D. Warner, Chapter fifty nine. When mister nobles bombshell fell in Senator Dilworthy's camp, the statesman was disconcerted for a moment. For a moment that was all. The next moment he was calmly up and doing from the center of our country to its circumference. Nothing was talked of but mister Noble's

terrible revelation, and the people were furious. Mind they were not furious because bribery was uncommon in our public life, but merely because here was another case. Perhaps it did not occur to the nation of good and worthy people that, while they continued to sit comfortably at home and leave the true source of our political power, the primaries, in the hands of saloon keepers, dog fanciers, and hod carriers, they could go on expecting another case of this kind,

and even dozens and hundreds of them, and never be disappointed. However, they may have thought that to sit at home and grumble would some day write the evil. Yes, the nation was excited, but Senator Dilworthy was calm, what was left of him after the explosion of the shell, Calm and up and doing. What did he do first? What would you do first? After you had tomahawked your mother at the breakfast table for putting too much sugar in your coffee,

You would ask for a suspension of public opinion. That is what Senator Dilworthy did. It is the custom. He got the usual amount of suspension. Far and wide. He was called a thief, a briber, a promoter of steamship subsidies, railway swindles, robberies of the government in all possible forms

and fashions. Newspapers and everybody else called him a pious hypocrite, a sleek, oily fraud, a reptile who manipulated temperance movements, prayer meetings, Sunday schools, public charities, missionary enterprises, all for his private benefit. And as these charges were backed up by what seemed to be good and sufficient evidence, they were believed with national unanimity. Then mister Dilworthy made another move. He moved instantly to Washington and demanded an investigation. Even

this could not pass without comment. Many papers used language to this effect. Senator Dilworthy's remains have demanded an investigation. This sounds fine and bold and innocent, but when we reflect that they demand it at the hands of the Senate of the United States, it simply becomes matter for derision. One might as well set the gentlemen detained in the public prisons to trying each other. This investigation is likely to be, like all other senatorial investigations, amusing but not useful.

Query why does the Senate still still to this pompous word investigation? One does not blindfold one's self in order to investigate an object. Mister Dilworthy appeared in his place in the Senate and offered a resolution appointing a committee to investigate his case. It carried, of course, and the

committee was appointed straightway. The newspaper said, under the guise of appointing a committee to investigate the late mister Dilworthy, the Senate yesterday appointed a committee to investigate his accuser, mister Noble. This is the exact spirit and meaning of the resolution, and the committee cannot try anybody but mister

Noble without overstepping its authority. That Dilworthy had the effrontery to offer such a resolution, will surprise no one, and that the Senate could entertain it without blushing and pass it without shame will surprise no one. We are now reminded of a note which we have received from the notorious burglar Murphy, in which he finds fault with a statement of ours to the effect that he had served one term in the penitentiary and also one in the U. S. Senate.

He says, the latter's statement is untrue and does me great injustice. After an unconscious sarcasm like that, further comment is unnecessary. And yet the Senate was roused by the

dilworthy trouble. Many speeches were made. One senator, who was accused in the public prints of selling his chances of re election to his opponent for fifty thousand dollars and had not yet denied the charge, said that the presence in the capital of such a creature as this man noble, to testify against a brother member of their body, was an insult to the Senate. Another senator said, let the investigation go on, and let it make an example of

this man noble. Let it teach him and men like him, that they could not attack the reputation of a United States senator with impunity. Another said he was glad the investigation was to be had, for it was high time that the Senate should crush some cur like this man Noble, and thus show his kind that it was able and

resolved to uphold its ancient dignity. A bystander laughed at this finely delivered peroration and said, why this is the senator who franked his baggage home through the mails last week? Registered at that, however, perhaps he was merely engaged in upholding the ancient dignity of the Senate. Then no, the modern dignity of it, said another bystander. It don't resemble its ancient dignity, but it fits its modern style like a glove. There being no law against making offensive remarks

about U S Senators. This conversation and others like it continued without let or hindrance. But our business is with the investigating committee. Mister Noble appeared before the Committee of

the Senate and testified to the following effect. He said that he was a member of the State Legislature of the Happy Land of Canaan, that on the blank day of blank, blank blank, he assembled himself together there at the city of Saints Rest, the capital of the state, along with his brother legislators, that he was known to be a political enemy of mister Dilworthy and bitterly opposed

to his reelection. That mister Dilworthy came to Saint's Rest and reported to be buying pledges of votes with money, that the said Dilworthy sent for him to come to his room in the hotel at night, and he went, was introduced to mister Dilworthy, called two or three times afterward at Dilworthy's request, usually after midnight. Mister Dilworthy urged

him to vote for him. Noble declined. Dilworthy argued, said he was bound to be elected and could then ruin him Noble if he voted no. Said he had every railway and every public office and stronghold of political power in the state under his thumb, and could set up or pull down any man he chose. Gave instances showing where and how he had used this power. If Noble would vote for him, he would make him a representative in Congress. Noble still declined to vote, and said he

did not believe Dilworthy was going to be elected. Dilworthy showed a list of men who would vote for him. A majority of the legislature gave further proofs of his power by telling Noble everything the opposing party had done or said in secret. Caucus claimed that his spies reported everything to him, and that here A member of the committee objected that this evidence was irrelevant and also in

opposition to the spirit of the committee's instructions. Because of these things reflected upon any one, it was upon mister Dilworthy. The chairman said, let the person proceed with his statement. The committee could exclude evidence that did not bear upon the case. Mister Noble continued. He said that his party would cast him out if he voted for mister Dilworthy.

Dilworthy said that that would inure to his benefit, because he would then be a recognized friend of his Dilworthy's, and he could consistently exalt him politically and make his fortune. Noble said he was poor and it was hard to tempt himself. Dilworthy said he would fix that. He said, tell me what you want and say you will vote for me. Noble could not say. Dilworthy said, I will

give you five thousand dollars. A committee man said impatiently that this stuff was all outside the case, and valuable time was being wasted. This was all a plain reflection upon a brother senator. The chairman said it was the quickest way to proceed, and the evidence need have no weight. Mister Noble continued. He said he told Dilworthy that five thousand dollars was not much to pay for a man's honor, character and everything that was worth having. Dilworthy said he

was surprised. He considered five thousand dollars a fortune for some men. Asked what Noble's figure was, Noble said he could not think ten thousand dollars too little. Dilworthy said it was a great deal, too much. He would not do it for any other man. But he had conceived a liking for Noble, and where he liked a man, his heart yearned to help him. He was aware that Noble was poor and had a family to support, and

that he bore an unblemished reputation at home. For such a man and such a man's influence, he could do much, and feel that to help such a man would be an act that would have its reward. The struggles of the poor always touched him. He believed that Noble would make a good use of this money, and that it would cheer many a sad heart and needy home. He

would give the ten thousand dollars. All he desired in return was that when the balloting began, Nobles should cast his vote for him, and should explain to the legislature that, upon looking into the charges against mister Dilworthy of bribery, corruption and forwarding stealing measures in Congress, he had found them to be base calumnies upon a man whose motives

were pure and whose character was stainless. He then took from his pocket two thousand dollars in bank bills and handed them to Noble, and got another package containing five thousand dollars out of his trunk and gave to him also. Hek a committee man jumped up and said, at last, mister Chairman, this shameless person has arrived at the point. This is sufficient and conclusive. By his own confession, he has received a bribe and did it deliberately. This is

a grave offense and cannot be passed over in silence. Sir. By the terms of our instructions, we can now proceed to meet out to him such punishment as is meet for one who has maliciously brought disrespect upon a senator of the United States. We have no need to hear the rest of his evidence, the chairman said, it would be better and more regular to proceed with the investigation according to the usual forms. A note would be made

of mister Noble's admission. Mister Noble continued. He said that it was now far past midnight that he took his leave and went straight to certain legislators, told him everything, made them count the money, and also told them of the exposure he would make in joint convention. He made that exposure, as all the world knew. The rest of the ten thousand dollars was to be paid the day after Dilworthy was elected Senator. Dilworthy was now asked to take the stand and tell what he knew about the

man Noble. The senator wiped his mouth with his handkerchief, adjusted his white cravat, and said that but for the fact that public morality required an example for the warning of future nobles, he would beg that in Christian charity, this poor, misguided creature might be forgiven and set free. He said that it was but too evident that this person had approached him in the hope of obtaining a bribe. He had intruded himself time and again, and always with

moving stories of his poverty. Mister Dilworthy said that his heart had bled for him, insomuch that he had several times been on the point of trying to get some one to do something for him. Some instinct had told him from the beginning that this was a bad man, an evil minded man, but his inexperience of such had blinded him to his real motives and mence. He had never dreamed that his object was to undermine the purity

of a United States Senator. He regretted that it was plain now that such was the man's object, and that punishment could not, with safety to the Senate's honor, be withheld. He grieved to say that one of those mysterious dispensations of an inscrutable providence, which are decreed from time to time by his wisdom and for his righteous purposes, had given this conspirator's tale a color of plausibility. But this would soon disappear under the clear light of truth, which

would now be thrown upon the case. It so happened, said the Senator that about the time in question, a poor young friend of mine, living in a distant town of my state, wished to establish a bank. He asked me to lend him the necessary money. I said I had no money just then, but would try to borrow it. The day before the election, of friends said to me that my election expenses must be very large, specially my

hotel bills, and offered to lend me some money. Remembering my young friend, I said I would like a few thousand now, and a few more by and by. Whereupon he gave me two packages of bills, said to contain two thousand dollars and five thousand dollars, respectively. I did not open the packages or count the money. I did not give any note or receipt for the same. I made no memorandum of the transaction, and neither did my friend. That night, this evil man Noble came troubling me again.

I could not rid myself of him, though my time was very precious. He mentioned my young friend and said he was very anxious to have the seven thousand dollars now to begin his banking operations with, and could wait a while for the rest. Noble wished to get the money and take it to him. I finally gave him the two packages of bills. I took no note or receipt from him, and made no memorandum of the matter. I no more look for duplicity and deception in another

man than I would look for it in myself. I never thought of this man again until I was overwhelmed the next day by learning what a shameful use he had made of the confidence I had reposed in him and the money I had entrusted to his care. This is all, gentlemen, to the absolute truth of every detail of my statement, I solemnly swear, and I call him to witness. Who is the truth and the loving father of all whose lips abhor or false speaking. I pledge my honor as a Senator that I have spoken but

the truth. May God forgive this wicked man as I do. Mister noble Senator Dilworthy, your bank account shows that up to that day, and even on that very day, you conducted all your financial business through the medium of checks instead of bills, and so kept careful record of every money transaction. Why did you deal in bank bills on

this particular occasion? The Chairman, the gentleman will please to remember that the committee is conducting this investigation, mister Noble, Then will the committee ask the question the chairman the commiss he will when it desires to know, mister Noble, which will not be during this century. Perhaps the Chairman another remark like that, sir, will procure you the attentions of the Sergeant at arms. Mister Noble, damn the sergeant

at arms, and the committee too, several committeemen. Mister Chairman, this is contempt, mister Noble, contempt of whom of the Committee of the Senate of the United States. Mister Noble, Then I am become the acknowledged representative of a nation. You know as well as I do, that the whole nation hold as much as three fifths of the United States Senate in entire contempt. Three fifths of you are dilworthies.

The Sergeant at arms very soon put a quietus upon the observations of the representative of the nation, and convinced him that he was not in the over free atmosphere of his happy land of Canaan. The statement of Senator Dilworthy naturally carried conviction to the minds of the committee. It was close, logical, unanswerable. It bore many internal evidences of its truth. For instance, it is customary in all countries for business men to loan large sums of money

in bank bills instead of checks. It is customary for the lender to make no memorandum of the transaction. It is customary for the borrower to receive the money without making a memorandum of it or giving a note or a receipt for its use. The borrower is not likely to die or forget about it. It is customary to lend nearly anybody money to start a bank with, especially if you have not the bank to lend him and

have to borrow it for the purpose. It is customary to carry large sums of money in bank bills about your person or in your trunk. It is customary to hand a large sum in bank bills to a man you have just been introduced to, if he asks you to do it, to be conveyed to a distant town and delivered to another party. It is not customary to make a memorandum of this transaction. It is not customary for the conveyor to give a note or a receipt

for the money. It is not customary to require that he shall get a note or a receipt from the man he is to convey it to in the distant town. It would be at least singular in you to say to the proposed conveyor, you might be robbed. I will deposit the money in a bank and send a check

for it to my friend through the mail. Very well, it being plain that Senator Dilworthy's statement was rigidly true, and this fact being strengthened by his adding to it the support of his honor as a senator, the Committee rendered a verdict of not proven that a bribe had been offered, and accepted this in a manner exonerated Noble and let him escape. The Committee made its report to the Senate, and that body proceeded to consider its acceptance.

One senator, indeed, several senators, objected that the committee had failed of its duty. They had proved this man Noble guilty of nothing. They had meted out no punished to him. If the report were accepted, he would go forth free and scatheless and glorying in his crime. And it would be a tacit admission that any blackguard could insult the Senate of the United States and conspire against the sacred

reputation of its members with impunity. The Senate owed it to the upholding of its ancient dignity to make an example of this man noble, he should be crushed. An elderly senator got up and took another view of the case. This was a senator of the worn out and obsolete pattern, a man still lingering among the cobwebs of the past and behind the spirit of the age. He said that there seemed to be a curious misunderstanding of this case.

Gentlemen seemed exceedingly anxious to preserve and maintain the honor and the dignity of the Senate. Was this to be done by trying to obscure adventure for attempting to trap a senator into bribing him? Or would not the truer way be to find doubt whether the senator was capable of being entrapped into so shameless an act, and then try him. Why. Of course, now the whole idea of the Senate seemed to be to shield the senator and

turn inquiry away from him. The true way to uphold the honor of the Senate was to have none but honorable men in its body. If this senator had yielded to temptation and had offered a bribe. He was a soiled man and ought to be instantly expelled. Therefore, he wanted the Senator tried, and not in the usual namby pamby way, but in good earnest. He wanted to know

the truth of this matter for himself. He believed that the guilt of Senator Dilworthy was established beyond the shadow of a doubt, and he considered that in trifling with his case and shirking it, the Senate was doing a shameful and cowardly thing, a thing which suggested that, in its willingness to sit longer in the company of such a man, it was acknowledging that it was itself of a kind with him, and was therefore not dishonored by

his presence. He desired that a rigid examination be made into Senator Dilworthy's case, and that it be continued clear into the approaching extra session, if need be. There was no dodging this thing with the lame excuse of want of time. In reply, an honorable Senator said that he thought it would be as well to drop the matter and accept the committee's report. He said, with some jocularity that the more one agitated this thing, the worse it was for the agitator. He was not able to deny

that he believed Senator Dilworthy to be guilty. But what then was it such an extraordinary case for his part? Even allowing the Senator to be guilty, he did not think his continued presence during the few remaining days of the session would contaminate the Senate to a dreadful degree. This humorous sally was received with smiling admiration, Notwithstanding it was not wholly new, having originated with the Massachusetts General

in the House a day or two before. Upon the occasion of the proposed expulsion of a member for selling his vote for money, the Senate recognized the fact that it could not be contaminated by sitting a few days longer with Senator Dilworthy, and so it accepted the committee's report and dropped the unimportant matter. Mister Dilworthy occupied his seat the last hour of the session. He said that his people had reposed a trust in him, and it was not for him to desert them. He would remain

at his post till he perished if need be. His voice was lifted up and his vote cast for the last time in support of an ingenious measure contrived by the General from Massachusetts, whereby the President's salary was proposed to be doubled, and every congressman paid several thousand dollars extra for work previously done under an accepted contract and

already paid for once and receipted for. Senator Dilworthy was offered a grand ovation by his friends at home, who said that their affection for him and their confidence in him, we were in no wise impaired by the persecutions that had pursued him, and that he was still good enough for them. The seven thousand dollars left by mister Noble with his state legislature was placed in safe keeping to

await the claim of the legitimate owner. Senator Dilworthy made one little effort through his protege, the Embryo Banker, to recover it, but there being no notes of hand or other memoranda to support the claim, it failed. The moral of which is that when one loans money to start a bank with one ought to take the party's written acknowledgment of the fact. End of Chapter fifty nine

Transcript source: Provided by creator in RSS feed: download file
For the best experience, listen in Metacast app for iOS or Android