012 - The Gilded Age a Tale of Today Chapter 11

family were domiciled in Hawkeye. Washington was at work in the real estate office again, and was alternately in paradise or the other place, just as it happened that Louise was gracious to him or seemingly indifferent, because indifference or preoccupation could mean nothing else than that she was thinking

of some other young person. Colonel Sellars had asked him several times to dine with him when he first returned to Hawkeye, but Washington, for no particular reason, had not accepted, no particular reason except one which he preferred to keep to himself, viz. That he could not bear to be away from Louise. It occurred to him now that the Colonel had not invited him lately, could he be offended? He resolved to go that very day and give the

colonel a pleasant surprise. It was a good idea, especially as Louise had absented herself from breakfast that morning and torn his heart. He would tear hers now and let her see how it felt. The Seller's family were just starting to dinner when Washington burst upon them with his surprise. For an instant, the colonel looked nonplussed and just a

bit uncomfortable, and missus Sellers looked actually distressed. But the next moment the head of the house was himself again and exclaimed, all right, my boy, all right, always glad to see you, always glad to hear your voice, and take you by the hand. And don't wait for special invitations. That's all nonsense among friends. Just come whenever you can, and come as often as you can, the oftener the better. You can't please us any better than that Washington. The

little woman will tell you so herself. We don't pretend to style plain folks, you know, oh, plain folks, just a plain family dinner. But such as it is, our friends are always welcome. I reckon you know that yourself, Washington, Run along, children, run along Lafayette. In those old days, the average man called his children after his most revered

literary and historical idols. Consequently, there was hardly a family, at least in the West, but had a Washington in it, and also a Lafayette, a Franklin, and six or eight sounding names from Byron Scott and the Bible. If the offspring held out to visit such a family was to find one's self confronted by a congress made up of representatives of the imperial myths and the majestic dead of

all the ages. There was something thrilling about it to a stranger, not to say or inspiring stand off the cattails, child, can't you see what you're doing? Come? Come, come, rodri Da. It isn't nice for little boys to hang on to young gentlemen's coat tails, but never find him. Washington, he's full of spirits and don't mean any harm. Children will be children, you know. Take the chair next to missus Seller's. Washington to tut Mary Antoinette. Let your brother have the

fork if he wants it. You are bigger than he is. Washington contemplated the banquet and wondered, if he were in his right mind, was this the plain family dinner, and was at all present? It was soon apparent that this was indeed the dinner. It was all on the table. It consisted of abundance of clear fresh water and a

basin of raw turnips, nothing more. Washington stole a glance at missus Seller's face and would have given the world the next moment if he could have spared her that the poor woman's face was crimson and the tears stood in her eyes. Washington did not know what to do. He wished he had never come there and spied out this cruel poverty and brought pain to that poor little lady's heart and shame to her cheek. But he was there,

and there was no escape. Colonel Sellers hitched back his coat, sleeves airily from his wrists, as who should say now for solid enjoyment, seized a fork, flourished it, and began to harpoon turnips and deposit them in the plates before him. Let me help you, Washington. Lafayette passed this plate to Washington. Ah, well, well, my boy, things are looking pretty bright now, I tell you, speculation by the whole atmosphere's full of money. I wouldn't

take three fortunes for one little operation I've got on hand. Now, have anything from the casters? No, well, you're right, you're right. Some people like mustard with turnips. But now there was Baron Poniatowsky, Lord, But that man did know how to live true Russian. You know, Russian to the backbone. I say to my wife, give me a Russian every time for a table. Comrade. The baron used to say, take mustard, sellars, try the mustard. A man can't know what turnips are

in perfection without mustard. But I always said, no, Baron, I'm a plain man, and I want my food plain. None of your embellishments for Barria cellars. No made dishes for me. And it's the best way. High living kills more than it cures in this world. You can rest assured of that. Yes, indeed, Washington, I've got one little operation on hand that take some more water. Help yourself, won't you help yourself? There's plenty of it. You'll find it pretty good. I guess, how does that fruit strike you?

Washington did not know that he had ever tasted better. He did not add that he detested turnips even when they were cooked, loathed them in their natural state. No, he kept this to himself and praised the turnips to the peril of his soul. I thought you'd like them. Examine them, Examine them. They'll bear it. See how perfectly firm and juicy they are. They can't start any like them in this part of the country. I can tell you. These are from New Jersey. I imported them myself. They

cost like sin too, But Lord bless me. I go in for having the best of a thing, even if it does cost a little more. It's the best economy in the long run. These are the early Malcolm. It's a turnip that can't be produced except in just one orchard, and the supply never is up to the demand. Take some more water, Washington. You can't drink too much water with fruit. All the doctors say that the plague can't come where this article is, my boy? Plague? What plague?

What plague? Indeed, why the Asiatic plague that nearly depopulated London a couple of centuries ago? But how does that concern us? There is no plague here, I reckon sh I've let it out. Well, never mind, just keep it to yourself. Perhaps I oughtn't said anything, but it's bound to come out sooner or later. So what is the odds? Old McDowell's wouldn't like me to bother it all. I'll

just tell the whole thing and let it go. You see, I've been down to Saint Louis and I happen to run across old Doctor mc dowells thinks the world of me, does the doctor. He's a man that keeps himself to himself, and well he may, for he knows that he's got a reputation that covers the whole earth. He won't condescend to open himself out to many people. But Lord bless you, he and I are just like brothers. He won't let me go to a hotel when I'm in the city,

says I'm the only man that's company to him. And I don't know. But there's some truth in it too, because although I never like to glorify myself and make a great to do over what I am, or what I can do or what I know, I don't mind saying here among friends that I am better read up in most sciences, maybe than the general run of professional men in these days. Well, the other day he let me into a little secret, strictly on the quiet, about

this matter of the plague. You see, it's booming right along in our direction, follows the Gulf stream, you know, just as all those epidemics do. And within three months. It will be just waltzing through this land like a whirlwind. And whoever it touches can make his will and contract for the funeral. Well, you can't cure it, you know, but you can prevent it. How Turnips, that's it. Turnips

and water. Nothing like it in the world. Old mc dowells said, just fill yourself up two or three times a day, and you can snap your fingers at the plague. Sha keep mum, But just you confine yourself to that diet and you're all right. I wouldn't have old mc dowells know that I told about it for anything. He never would speak to me again. Take some more water, Washington. The more water you drink, the better. Here. Let me give you some more of the turnips. No, no, no, no, now,

I insist there. Now. Absorb those. They're mighty sustaining brim full of nutriment. All the medical books say so. Just eat from four to seven good sized turnips at a meal, and drink from a pint and a half to a quart of water, and then just sit around a couple of hours and let them ferment. You'll feel like a fighting cock next day, fifteen or twenty minutes later, the

colonel's tongue was still chattering away. He had piled up several future fortunes out of several incipient operations which he had blundered into within the past week, and was now soaring along through some brilliant expectations born of late promising experiments upon the lacking ingredient of the eye water. And at such a time Washington ought to have been a rapt and enthusiastic listener. But he was not, for two

matters disturbed his mind and distracted his attention. One was that he discovered, to his confusion and shame, that in allowing himself to be helped a second time to the turnips, he had robbed those hungry children. He had not needed the dreadful fruit, and had not wanted it. And when he saw the pathetic sorrow in their faces when they asked for more and there was no more to give them, he hated himself for his stupidity, and pitied the famishing

young things with all his heart. The other matter that disturbed him was the dire inflation that had begun in his stomach. It grew and grew, it became more and more insupportable. Evidently the turnips were fermenting. He forced himself to sit still as long as he could, but his anguish conquered him. At last he rose in the midst of the colonel's talk and excused himself on the plea

of a previous engagement. The colonel followed him to the door, promising over and over again that he would use his influence to get some of the early malcolms for him, and insisting that he should not be such a stranger, but come and take pot luck with him every chance he got. Washington was glad enough to get away and feel free again. He immediately bent his steps towards home. In bed, he passed an hour that threatened to turn his hair gray, and then a blessed calm settled down

upon him that filled his heart with gratitude. Weak and languid, he made shift to turn himself about and seek rest and sleep, And as his soul hovered upon the brink of unconsciousness, he heaved a long, deep sigh and said to himself that in his heart he had cursed the colonel's preventive of rheumatism before, and now let the plague come if it must. He was done with preventatives. If ever any man beguiled him with turnips and water, again,

let him die the death. If he dreamed of all that night, no gossiping spirit disturbed his visions to whisper in his ear of certain matters just then in Bud in the east, more than a thousand miles away, that after the lapse of a few years, would develop influences which would profoundly affect the fate and fortunes of the Hawkins family. End of Chapter eleven.