Giggling about fainting, dick pills, and weed pens

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Sup, gigglers. Gary, fix your Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me. What's up my galactic gigglers? I'm saying, do I always say that? Yeah. Okay, because someone ran up to me and they were like, what's up galactic? Well, you know what's funny is that's the only word that pops into my head and it's like not giggly squad coded at all.

It's the only G word in the English language. Quote me. Quote me. Check it. I want to bring something up immediately. Yeah, this is our first second episode. Oh, right. Ever. Oh, this is our first second episode. Yeah, and I came with a lot of notes because I was worried we'd forget what to say. Hannah came with a lot of notes because we hung out yesterday. Which was such a mistake.

By the way, hanging out with us is not fun because we will bring something up, start laughing, and then one of us goes, hold it. save it for camera yeah so then dez is sitting there like uh it's also not fun hanging out with us if you're not us i thought you could say in general yeah in general it's not because dez was around joe was around and they were just like

like not speaking. And I was like, I'm performing with my friend right now. Also, my thing is like, we're obviously laughing. Just add to the laugh. Just keep laughing with us. Throw in a joke. Why don't you participate? Tag it up. But anyway, so we're hanging out with Hannah. We're laughing hysterically. And then something happens. And she looks over at a table. And there's a book on the table. And she goes.

Surely someone has been in here, broken in, stolen your stuff and ripped it with other people's things. There was a Colleen Hoover book sitting on the table, which I know a man's not reading that book.

I, here's the thing. Sorry that I want to better myself in 2026. And I just was like, I don't read. I never read. I should read. And sometimes I get put on book talk and a girl was like, this is the best book ever. And the only reason I picked the book I picked is because there's a movie coming out. This is my question. How much have you actually read it? No, I just got it.

But when you saw it, it had just been delivered. I looked at it, looked up at her, and I looked at you like I caught you doing crystal meth. Like I was like, do you want to talk about this? Like does your family know? What kind of double life have you been living? Do I know who you are? Hannah literally looks at it and goes, what the heck is that?

I got like disturbed because everything I know about you, I question now. I'm like, I didn't know what you were talking about. And I was like, oh my God, what? And I was like, it's a book. I don't know. I envisioned if you were to read, it would be a picture book or a pop culture magazine or self-help or as we like to do, we just watch something on Netflix and put closed captions and that's reading. You want to know what it really boils down to?

I haven't felt this and I love feeling better than people. Yeah. It's like one of my favorite feelings. Yeah. And I haven't felt that in a while when it comes to movies and books. One of my favorite things to say is. Well, I read the book and I haven't been able to say it in about 15 years. So I was like, oh, I know this movie is coming out. I'm going to read the book so that when I see the movie, I can be like, well, it was a little different from the book.

Actually, people who say that are so fucking smart, but I'm that person, you know, when they always go, oh, have you read the book? You have a couple options. Yeah. You can just say yes and lie and pray they don't have a follow up question. Or you say no, and then they explain the book to you, which you don't want either. Or you do what I do, and I go, skimmed. Skimmed.

Skimmed. I saw the first couple of parts. The last time I've legitimately been able to say, yeah, I read the book was The Bridge to Terabethia in 2007. I never say when I was younger, I was an avid reader. And my mom read it to me.

everyone's like what's the second episode gonna be the cool thing now it's kind of like okay it's like a PR thing for celebrities who are really good looking and want like respect like you know how like Nickelodeon kids will like do like a slutty movie to be like I'm an adult now. What is that?

it's rebranding baby rebranding 101 yeah why do they always why why are people so mad when people grow up yeah when like like sabrina carpenter i feel like is like the a really good example where she's like i'm not on the disney channel also people don't choose where they start like just because you start somewhere because that's your opportunity doesn't mean it's like should be engraved people like putting people in a box exactly so there's all these like hot girls recently that

are launching book clubs to show that they can read. I love it. One of them, Kaya Gerber. Okay. Another one, Olivia Ponton. Okay. All gorgeous, stunning models who were like, by the way. Join my book club. And you're like, oh, she's multidimensional. Are they meeting? Or this is like on the Internet. Let's be honest. I've never clicked into a book club. Right. So you don't know the actual logistics. And the logistics stress me out. So I'm not sure.

Maybe I'll join Kaya Grover's book club. You never know. Or maybe we're not doing a Giggly book club. We don't have the bandwidth. That's actually, then I've really lost the plot. Actually, my mom. who's retired right now has a book club um actually she has a knitting club and another club she said knitting is the best gossip like she gets there all they do is gossip and she couldn't go the last week and she's like i have so much so behind she's so behind on the gossip wait

Speaking of clubs, have you seen the Ashley Tisdale? Cut article like that was the book. I wanted to read this week the cut article, but I haven't cut has such small font It intimidates me. Did you read the article? I didn't read I skimmed the article. I didn't read the full article, but I read like a thing that did like a synopsis of it. And it was basically like, Ashley didn't say any names. She basically said how she felt.

after having a baby and then joining a mom club and how it eventually turned into like just like a friend group it was like a friend group Look, I'm not fully abreast on the mom club situation, but I know that that is a real thing. now like did you have to get haze to get in people will have like facebook groups in their area and it's like if you live in this like neighborhood this is the group and then you can like ask the moms different stuff stuff it sounds good in theory yes

But in reality, yeah, a friend group, this is why we only have each other as friends. Like a friend group is so intense because there's just so many different personalities. Add in your hormonal. You like just had a baby. You hate your husband. You probably hate your husband. So she writes this article, which actually I thought was is cool of the cut to like.

have different celebrities write certain essays. I love an op-ed. Give me an op. Yeah, I think that's fun. So she writes this article. She basically, she does not say anyone's name. She does not say the main reason why she left. She puts it all on herself, like that she didn't feel included. There were certain like situations where she felt like left out. I didn't feel included as saying like I was bullied. Yes. Hillary. This is our knitting club right now. Hillary Duff's.

Husband? First of all, nobody's talking about the fact that we're talking about a feud between Ashley Tisdale, Sharpay Evans, and Hilary Duff, Lizzie McGuire. Like, I don't think we're putting enough emphasis on that. Also, like, I didn't know Hilary Duff had a husband. She has a husband. Yes. She has a husband and huge Hilary Duff fan. Love her. Love. Really like love her stuff. She had a song come out. Let's go. Love her work. I do think.

And I feel the same way with like reality TV when the ladies get into fights. Anytime a husband jumps in, I'm always like... No. No. No, it's not your... Like... you don't need to do you envision that like he was talking to Hillary about it and like I was like I'm just gonna post it or yeah and like maybe she felt a little hurt and then he felt like I have to stick up for you I'm gonna get involved

He basically posted a comment that like was since deleted but people obviously screenshotted it saying that Ashley Tisdale is like a narcissist self-centered And like that she was the problem Mandy Moore was in this group. There was one other famous person. Oh, the blonde. Meghan Trainor. Meghan Trainor. Yes. Look at us. I'm like, wait, what was this mom club like though? What did you guys talk about before it failed? Okay. I have multiple thoughts. First of all, who did Ash?

Do you think Ashley got really hurt and she was like, maybe other moms will relate and feel less alone? Other moms have left mom groups, yes. Yes, but I guess at that level, you posting something and not naming names. People know. look people know and even we may not know right but they know and it was enough to call cause a kerfuffle in the community ashley writing the article i have to read the article

She knew what she was doing. Yeah. Like, and I don't think it was a bad thing. She was hurt and she wanted to express that she was hurt. Okay, you know what this needs? A reunion. You can host it. Let's get the girls together and let's talk it out.

You know what it means? You know what? Rather than reunions, I think we should start doing, and we'll bring this up to Hulu or Netflix or anyone who's interested. We should start doing more of like a Judge Judy thing. Okay. That's crazy. You brought that up because you know how people always DM us with like issues and stuff. I'd love to like bring it on and like.

They're fighting and we will like pick sides. After you said on the pod the other day, like if you're going to DM Paige about your boyfriend, it's done. I got so many DMs like, okay, I know I should be doing this. But just this one situation, what do you think? And I'm like, leave him. I feel like you were Judge Judy in another life.

Yeah. I used to watch Judge Judy all the time with my grandma. And when you like stayed home from school. I was just like, this is what you got to. By the way, back to my mom's book club. She said it's the funniest thing ever because they all drink during it.

So you read the book and then you go to someone's house and you talk about the book. And you have like a month. It's once a month. And like different people choose the book. So like she'll be like, oh, this month we're reading this. But now there's characters in this book club. Are there any times where you're like, didn't read it? That's the thing. I'm not going to name names, but you know who you are. One of the moms is just there for the alcohol, but it is at her house. So everyone.

Yeah. They're like, she hosts. She hosts. But then every now and then she gets a little too drunk and starts getting into opinions of the book. And they're like, we know you didn't read it. You've never read a book. And she's like, but I disagree with your opinion. A classic 10th grade page. And you know, guess who's the most fun? She is.

she is so but her husband giggly squad is built on having opinions with no knowledge actually people have asked me opinions on like how to do reality tv and i was like you just have to have a strong opinion whether you care or not that's how you're successful Just get an opinion and lean into it, even if you're wrong. Even people asking advice on podcasting, I'm like, I don't know what other people do, but I know that what we do should not be suggested.

so this book club the her husband reads everything and loves it and it's at their house but she's you know drinking this is this is couples oh couples so they all come are your parents swingers it's giving swinging season it's middle of the day too and all these couples come together and they've read the book and my mom you know she's a

A teacher. She's an avid reader. She's read it. She has an analysis. She's marked pages. My dad tries to. He always falls. Every month he says, I'm going to read it. He falls off, which, you know, like many of us, it's where I get it from. So, yeah, book clubs.

Clubs, I think, are back. Bring clubs back. Just trying to rack my brain on what fucking club I would ever join at the ripe age of 33. There's not a single club you could get me into right now. Actually, you're right. When I was younger, I did love like a volleyball club for socializing. Yeah. You've been really going to like Pilates classes though. And I feel like you have like friends there. Like, you know, the, like. Whatever place you go to, you know people there.

Let's just say when I walk in. You're in a workout club. When I walk in, I get the. You get a nod. I get a nod. And then someone's a little like, I'm like, yeah, the bathroom's over there. Like I know what's going on. Yeah. But you have to say I did faint in my last Pilates class. No one knows.

Please tell this story because it's so me. When you told me this story, I was shocked. So I also, I think I hadn't eaten. And when I say I hadn't eaten, I think I just had one breakfast. Like I think it was like around lunchtime. Like all I had was a burrito. And then I had some French toast. So you had breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And I showed up. But I was feeling kind of hungry. But I was like, I could do this. And the teacher was.

Tough. So it's like a regular Pilates class or is this like a Pilates like fusion? Okay, I've never done this kind.

there's you know where there's the second machine it's called like the octagon or something it's called like the guillotine it's like and it has like fur the one that has the bar thing yes yeah the fur things for your like yeah handcuffs and i was just like i'm about to get fucked up like i knew it sponsored by ug australia this is how i knew i was gonna get fucked up because the teacher was like gorgeous skinny and pregnant

I would have walked out. The motivation just inside that woman's pinky, I could never relate. She had two abs above her belly and she looked at me and I said, your belly. You're about to be disgusted by what's going to happen. She was like, and how far along are you? And I was like, it was just a burrito. Wait, imagine you accidentally go to like a Lamaze Pilates class. What is that?

I mean, I made that up. But, like, Lamaze is, like, when you go and, like, learn how to breathe when you, like, give birth. Oh, yes, yes. I'm sure there's somewhere in California they have, like... Pilates slash Lamaze you just know like and also she was like nine months and she was just standing there and it was like her fourth class of the day and she's like good morning how are you

Her legs like by her head. She's like, how are you? Take a seat anywhere. She was gorgeous to the point that I was going to ask her like what mascara she used. And I looked and I'm like, oh, that's just her natural, her natural eyelashes. So we start and I was like.

hour class 45 minutes 50 minutes yeah and i was i wanted her to be proud of me like you know some instructors you're like whatever they think I suck I don't care for whatever reason I wanted her to be proud of me and I wanted her I mean she literally should be at home with her baby and she's with me so and there was another girl in the class so it ends up it was supposed to be a full class just two

girl so you know yeah it got intense you had a private pilates class accidentally the pregnant lady was the instructor oh and then the other girl was like perfect okay and me When you told me the story the other day, you made it seem like you were in a...

mat like a big class and no one saw you slip out to go pass out i didn't realize it was you and another person would were you just like sorry i have to go faint alone somewhere okay so the first 30 minutes you do at the guillotine okay and i like did okay

and I was like kind of feeling myself got a little cocky yeah go to the second machine and there's this thing called pikes if you don't know what a pike is it's a plank that then you bring your butt up in the air like a triangle and your head down

And we just kept doing pikes, like to the point where I was like, this is how I die. And the blood's like rushing to your head. And the blood is rushing to my head. So I think I was like shaking my head. So then we get up and we have to put our leg on this wooden. This is the contraptions are. i was like who what sick fuck invented this it's a guy invented pilates joe joseph yeah so it's this is that his name joseph pilates he's italian joey pilates

So it's this wooden thing. Have you ever seen that swivels? So you have to put your foot on this thing that swivels and then put your leg on the machine and try to keep your foot from swiveling. That threw me into a tailspin. I felt really out of control. The next thing you know, I started to get lightheaded. And by the way, it's me and one other girl. And also, it was the kind of thing where, like, you know...

you want to do it right, but you literally can't. And then the instructor's like lifting. I'm like, I know what I should be doing. I literally can't do this right now. So I'm like. Also, once one body part starts shaking, you're like, and I'm done for it. Like you can't. I can't undo that. Also, body parts are shaking that aren't even working hard. So I'm like fully like a baby deer just trying to do this exercise. And then I think I scared myself because I was like, I'm scared.

And then I got lightheaded. And then I started having like a mini panic attack. And then, you know, you're scared you're going to pass out. Yeah. And then, you know, when you're watching yourself have a panic attack. Yeah. Looking around. You're like, no one's noticing that inside I'm dying. No, there's some, did your vision go? That's always like my first indication. It all was like. So in that moment.

I had a bunch of different voices. I said, Hannah, suck it up. You're doing Pilates. A pregnant lady is bossing around. You could do this. Then a part of me was like. Call 911. Call the police. You just start smiling like Lenore. You're like, it hurts less if you smile. Do you know what I actually did? Now I remember because I blacked it out. I started just messing with my socks.

I started getting off the machine just messing with my socks. Yeah, like, oh, I'm just like fixing something. Yeah, my sock is like off. Did you have water? Yeah, but it was also like the other girl was fine. I mean the other girl was like breezing. She was like this is easy. So I mess with both my socks. I've ran out of

Sock options. I can't think of another sock to best with. And I know the instructor, it's not like I'm in a big class. Some finance bros should come out with a line of socks and name it sock options. Like stock options? Anyway, email me later about it. Okay, so you're like, I've fiddled with enough songs. I need a game plan here. So I just go. I have to go to the bathroom. Yeah.

so how many minutes are left in the class at this point you know when you don't even yeah you're like i don't care another hour i think there was like 20 minutes left okay so i go to the bathroom i shut the door and i just fall on the floor yeah Best feeling in my life. Yeah laying down on a cold strangers bathroom floor Nothing like it. I mean, I was at peace for the first time in my life Some would say my whole life went flashing by me. I saw me as a child playing with butterflies

Now imagine a D1 redhead saying, oh, do you feel like you're gonna pass out? Head towards the stage.

in that exact moment and you're like all i want is a tile floor i'm lying there and i'm just i'm getting my breath and in that moment i know if i can get it together pretty quick i still can get out of this without making a scene like why wouldn't you just say guys i'm gonna literally pass out because i have that is such a great question i could not admit that like i was falling apart interesting and that's my childhood

see okay because then i'm i'm not a good person this is where we're different yeah when something traumatic happens to us you're like no it didn't no one noticed it i'll deal with it later where i'm like i'll deal with this in 10 years people should be

arrested because I'm feeling attacked. Well, it's funny. You're like... they're the problem where me i'm like i'm the problem and i'm immediately like you're the problem i'm i'm the one who has an issue so i'm laying down and then i realize like i can tell her i have my period like i start coming up with all these lies like god forbid i just say i got lightheaded in your class i'm sorry reputation uphold in this town so i i get up and i start washing my hands and i realize

Wait, I feel okay. The cold water on your wrist probably. I also feel like I didn't go into a full panic attack. You know when you feel it coming on and you're like, not today, motherfucker. I've had that before where you feel it and then you go, I can get out of it now. And I wish I could give you guys good advice besides laying on the bathroom floor, but that's what did it for me. Yeah. Get back.

Like nothing happened. Just kept going. Wow. You just had like, then you were just like dehydrated. You weren't like having. I ate a French fry. I came back in. Wait, did you tell your mom this story? No, I don't want her being worried about me.

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bombas.com and use code audio um wait can we just you have something well I just want to talk about men yeah We built a whole career on it. And I feel like this is one thing we haven't talked about men, which is hard to find, but their bathroom routines. Their bathroom breaks. Their bathroom breaks. Because I didn't realize this was a thing. Yeah. Some men are fast with it, but there is an epidemic out there. When men take poops, they make it.

A ritual. A ritual. They make it like main character energy. They take a whole business day. They put it like on their calendar. You like can't contact them during it. And they also, they do this thing where they like slip away. Yes. You know, like they're like, I'll be right back. And you're like, okay. And then four hours go by. And you're like, wait, what?

Happened in there. And I feel like mothers probably deal with this where like you have kids running around and your husband disappears because he has to poop, which I'm going to be honest. I can't tell you the last time I took a regular. A healthy stool.

How nice must it be? It's so fucking easy being a man. Like they're regulated. Their hormones are never going crazy. But this is the thing. They're not like in my head. It's like, oh, they're taking like these huge, massive poops that take forever. I don't look. They're on their phone. They're on their phone. They're just getting away from. Yeah.

Which, yes, that's what I did during Pilates. Men do it all the time. I even think like at work, like they're first of all, they're getting paid more anyway. And then they're spending two hours in the bathroom at work. Which I do commend anyone that can go to the bathroom in a public place.

Like talk about having a panic attack. I'll have to lay on the floor. Like I remember growing up, even being in school, like I've went home sick before because I'm like, mom, I really just have to go to the bathroom. So I'm in a lot of public bathrooms. Yeah. Wait, I love that you had to go home. There are so many times in high school, like that my mom would be at work and I would call my grandma and I'd be like, you have to call the school.

And she'd be like, I'm not even your mom. And I'd be like, call now. My head, public bathroom's like, that's where I go off. Like, I'm not disrespecting. No, I get too, like, nervous. I also feel like that's a bathrooms of four and I have to like, but I don't, I can't hold it in. Yeah. I'm just, I can't be fake. Sorry. I can't be fake. Yeah. Sorry. I'm a real one. But I also, I don't know. I feel like with the, the men with the bathroom, it's, um.

They get respect when they, like, you give them respect. It's like football Sundays. Yes. You're like, oh, sorry. My mom had to use the bathroom with the door open just in case a kid, like, wanted to jump off a table. Right. Literally. I couldn't even, as a child, I can't even remember my mom using the bathroom. My mom wasn't allowed to use that. I don't think she ever showered. I think for 14 years, the woman stayed unshowered and never peed.

My recent issue, because I have a lot of public, I'm always in airports, I'm at restaurants, whatever. I always run into a giggler in the bathroom. Stop. It happens every day, I would say. And also I'm always talking. So everyone's like, we can hear you. I was going to say, you're always talking so people can recognize your voice. Where I feel like when I'm out, they're like, is that, are you? And I'm like, yes. And also if I'm with Des, he's like big and.

white hair so he's like a shining light and everyone sees him but like even yesterday at the pilates class in the bathroom well first of all i can't find the bathroom i'm like walking down the hallways and someone's like hey i'm gonna get clear the bathroom's over here you dumb fuck and And I was like, I love you. Thank you. Did you tell her that you fainted in it? That was pre-faint.

got it now that i think about it so when you went back into the room did the pregnant instructor or the other girl taking the class be like are you okay no i didn't make eye contact i just kept going oh so they had no idea no actually it's funny my memory they probably were like yeah that girl had a full breakdown mid-class and then didn't say anything but um no i go into the bathroom before the class and this

Gigler was like so nice. We were laughing having fun and then I'm like, okay I'm gonna go in the stall and then we have to like use the bathroom next to each other and obviously It's like pre Pilates. You got to get stuff out And I'm like, oh my God, am I ruining? Oh my God. She thought I was cool and then I like farted in the bathroom. She's texting her friend. She was like, I just met Hannah and she's shitting next to me.

If you have a bathroom story with me, that's a, I don't know. I think it's a beautiful.

connection wait i was just looking at our notes and sometimes like grace will write notes too like oh this was like funny i saw like you guys should talk about it but she wrote a note and i'm like wait i'm like worried i was writing in grace's notes oh because i was like this is so not grace she wrote when people misfit you it's because they think you're you're better than them and they want to bring you down to their level no matter how much status or power they have they are insecure

Grace, are you going through this movie? I literally read it and I was like. Grace would never. First of all, Grace doesn't care what other people think about her. At all. At all. I, that was our mental health moment. Oh, okay. Sorry. I didn't mean to ruin it, but what a word salad. Cause I was really, I almost texted Grace this morning. Like, Hey, is everything good at home? No, it was, if people mistreat you, no matter.

Seriously. But when you're treated bad, you... you sometimes don't realize that it is just them projecting on you and but then you know when you're treated bad by like a boss or someone who's like considered you know higher status or cooler like in high school some someone who thinks they're cool is mean to you

You actually realize it's because they see something in you that you don't see in yourself and they're insecure and they want to bring you down. And that's honestly the biggest compliment ever. And now that I think every time I felt someone was mean to me, I'm like, that was a compliment. Yeah, it is. It really is.

Like if no one's mean to you, like you're not doing enough. Yeah. If no one's mean to you, it sounds like you're being mean to people. Oh, you're the meanie. You're the meanie. I saw a quote that was like. I don't think I'm better than you. You think I'm better than you. And that's why you hate everything I do. And I was like, oh my God, yes.

oh my god well also at the end of the day most people aren't fucking thinking about you so everyone needs to come not in general like if you're obsessed with other people how they think about you it's like they're worrying about that's why like themselves actually

not to bring it back to Pilates, but whenever I do go to a Pilates class, like, or any workout class or like just the gym, I'm like going in. I'm like, Oh my God, everyone's looking at me because I'm doing it wrong. Or like everyone is so. like judging me or whatever but they're not because everyone's thinking about themselves exactly it's like no one's thinking about me because i'm thinking about me exactly and our last mental health moment of the day which grace actually did right um

Chelsea Handler. Oh no, I had another one I added. Why are you writing under grace? Well, Grace wrote something kind of inspirational, and then I wanted to keep it all together. Look, don't worry about my methods, the methods to my madness. This is a real mic drop. Okay. How can it be unrealistic if other people have it? I reposted that on TikTok. Oh, sorry. Oh, so you actually wrote it. Yeah, I wrote it. The last one. Shout out to Chelsea Handler, who just. That just made me think of like.

That's why you like saying, oh, I read the book because it feels like you wrote it like you wouldn't get it because you haven't read this masterpiece you've only experienced the movie i wrote it with the author it was a collab i was asked like what i wanted to put in you're like i'm the only person that's ever read this book

okay sorry keep going chelsea said we neglect to reflect about how far we've come don't forget your younger self is always with you so that's just a cute moment also i think The world isn't giving enough credit to now only women host award shows. Yeah, because we are socially aware and we know how to like be funny without like hurting people.

Yes. Because we have empathy. I can't wait to watch Nikki Glaser do Golden Globes again. Yeah. Chelsea can do it in her sleep. Nikki can do it in her sleep. It's true. I'm so anxious to see who they get for the Oscars. Because I also feel like no one is even like, I haven't seen any articles or headlines or anything about how like women are dominating hosting.

I would say Amy Poehler, except Amy's too busy. People still talk about Amy Poehler and Tina Fey hosting or presenting. See, they're exhausted. They're like, we can't do this all the time. But you know what I also don't like? The Oscars is a man. They get a man for the Oscars in the two smallest award shows they give to the women. Oh, I never thought of that. Because like the last guy I can think of hosting the Oscars. Conan. Last Oscars. Oh he did? Yeah.

I don't remember that. We were busy. Did he do a good job? We were busy during that week. I think he, well, Conan's likable. Like, Conan's fine. He wasn't doing stand-up. I feel like the last time a guy hosted it when I was, like, he was funny was, like, Ricky Gervais. They loved, like. And they, like, would never have him.

back they like jimmy kimmel they like trevor noah but um sorry did i black out when the hell did trevor noah host the oscars i don't remember that at all where he hosted like every award show he was like the guy but by the way hosting an award show is i couldn't imagine is very difficult i think chelsea's so good at it because she knows everyone for so long like yeah so it's

It's so much easier saying a joke to your friend than a joke to someone who you're literally like, I can't believe I'm making eye contact with this person. I just think it's funny that like when the men do host, it's like, oh my God, Kevin Hart's hosting. Oh my God, Kevin Hart said no to hosting.

and like there's no it's never like a big deal yeah about like people i really feel like didn't make a big enough deal that it was nikki's first time ever hosting an award show yeah and she crushed it yeah Like if that was a guy, they'd be like, he is just the best host. The best standup of all time. Have you seen the Cher interview?

I feel like she comes out of nowhere and just lays down the law. I'm obsessed with her. If you haven't seen the clip, Cher's on the, what is the name of Doc? Armchair expert. on Dax Shepard's podcast, which people love. He does have a great podcast. He always has like good, interesting guests and stuff. And so. Kristen Bell was on and Cher was on and they were talking about like how what a good relationship they have because they did like the movie Burlesque.

And then Dax asked Cher, who would be your dream guy for Kristen? Like, who do you think would be better suited with her? Which is him basically saying, I know that you think. Yeah. I'm not good enough for her. And he did say he was like, I know you think she could do better, which I don't disagree with. But who in your head would you like think? And Cher was like, I have no idea. Like, I have not thought of a specific person.

But then she goes, I trust Kristen so much that if she loves you, there must be something about you that I'm not seeing, which is incredible. If I was Dax, I would have been like, okay, and I gotta go. Because she's basically saying, if you don't have the greatest dick alive, which you probably don't, you should not be with her.

But also, I love that I feel like he was too scared to have her on alone. He needed to bring Kristen because she's like close with her. Yeah. To do a one on one. No, I do think it like I feel like Kristen was like.

Oh, shoot. Like, is she going to say an actual person? Like, you could tell that Kristen got, like, a little anxious, which, like, obviously. And then when Cher said it, she, like, laughed and was like, that was great. And they were like, clip this. This isn't directly pointed at Dax, because...

we love men in the arts but i just have to say a shout out in general for all the men that have podcasts i do enjoy like i've listened to his i do enjoy his the most of Sometimes it's like two-guy-ish and I'm almost like I don't even understand that reference. I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. Philippians? I'm like, okay. What is Cialis? This is like air conditioning.

I almost got stuck in a conversation where men were talking about air conditioning and I was like, I need to get the fuck out of here. You know what isn't talked about enough is that you can get like boner pills, like the gas station. Like, oh, okay. There's tax on tampons, but let's make sure. can get hard at 7-eleven that's inappropriate yeah one thing we need less of is hard men if you're soft you're soft for a reason that's the universe sorry whatever happened to darwinism

You think Darwinism wanted dick pills at 7-Eleven? No. No, actually, guys say that they're really dangerous. You should not take those. Because one day I saw them and I was like, what is that? What if I accidentally took it because I thought it was like for UTI? I don't think it would do anything. We'll see. We'll try it later. We'll keep you guys posted. Cannon page or anything? Cannon page, try Cialis.

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you don't even have societal standards making you have bad plastic surgery. Like women who have bad plastic surgery, I'm like, let her live. She's doing her best. When men get bad plastic surgery, I'm like, you didn't even need this. And you fucked it up. How did we get here, bro? And some are you referring to anyone specific? Because I have one person in my head. Not kind of.

There's just some guys who are older and looking funky. Like, they haven't figured it out yet. Like Bradley Cooper. Bradley Cooper. I feel like he did something, and I'm like, they... messed it up a little you're just something slightly off as someone who loves the look of an older man yeah i want to see those wrinkles i want to see the pain you've been through in your life no bradley cooper has been hot for like 30 years he's so like

But yeah, Bradley would be so hot as an older, chiseled, tired man. Yeah, like I would say. You don't need to be fresh faced at 62. No. Especially as a man. If you're fresh faced at 62, you didn't work. No. And I want some grays. I want salt and pepper hair. I want you to walk kind of slower. I want you to have like a limp because you need a hip replacement.

I want you to not be that quick so I can get away. Someone said flirting in your 30s is like, so is your lower back okay? Wait, people don't talk about how intimate it is. Being like where's your pain? Do you have sciatica yet? How's your L4? What is up with men loving sciatica?

I feel like that's like a word they learned and they just have been running with it. It's like crypto. No, because I have not heard the word sciatica ever in my life. And I feel like in the past two years, I've had multiple men that. I don't even really know that they're like, my sciatica. What is that? Also, when you're like younger, you remember Ariana Grande's, I almost said Ariana. She dyed her hair brown. Thank God. Yep.

But Ariana said, you know, you got me walking side to side. So when you're younger, it's like if anything feels anything after you're like, oh, he blew my brains out. Where now it's like. Oh, that's what that means? Yeah, he's got me walking side to side. What did you think it meant? I have no idea. I thought it just rhymed. Side to side.

I don't like to look into the lyrics really because I feel like that's a personal thing for them. Thank God we didn't. The stuff that we were singing when we were nine years old. Did you watch any of the New Year's? Do you know that this is the first year I didn't and I was home like I didn't go out this year for New Year's and it was the first time I didn't watch any New Year's Eve like Why do you think?

and how does that make you feel why do i think um i think well i i think it's so it's for older people And I do feel like traditional like TV, like if, okay, here's a great example. If Netflix had one, like if Netflix had a New Year's Eve thing and it was like. a bunch of celebrities that I know who they are and they're famous right now, currently, I probably would have watched it, but sometimes like.

like traditional news places that do like a new year's eve thing every year they have so much so many rules because it's like yeah this is network tv like you can't say that there could be kids watching or like we have laws and stuff like that so it's just like not as

unhinged as I feel like it could be. I like to play, there's like the CNN one, there's the... cbs and then abc or something i don't know but it and anyone would go to commercial then i go the other one and then it was like that one's in a commercial and then i was like i do like thinking secretly ryan seacrest and andy cohen and anderson cooper are like

chat like the day before New Year's Eve like you're going down like you know like I do like to think that there's some type of rivalry it's funny because they are filming right next to each other right they're in Times Square I think also booking the gig they're probably now that i think about it there's just so many studios yeah they're probably in this are they in the same building they could be that's the reality i want to watch um but i i feel like also it's a hard gig to book like

because who wants to be performing on new year's eve on new year's eve in the freezing cold in times square yeah people are they rip people apart if they lip sync and if they don't lip sync okay i have a really hot take that is probably gonna be If you go to Times Square and you're not hosting the New Year's Eve show, you're there as a patron of the Times Square New Year's Eve, you should not be allowed to vote.

Paige. Because in what worlds do you have the same common sense or reasoning as the rest of America? Paige or Bo? Those are the people I was talking about last episode, which you guys can listen to if you haven't on Monday, about some people just enjoy. What? event i mean what the fuck was that imagine like being so excited to be like i'm gonna go to time square for new year's and stand there it's gonna be awesome like i wish

I could get a high from that. These people are jacked up. Like it brings some joy. No, there's something to miss going on there. You think they're AI? Yeah, there's something weird happening. You're telling me there's that many people that electively it's fucking freezing. And you can't once you leave, you can't come back. So you're not only signing up.

for it to be freezing for hours, but you're also going to give yourself a UTI. 100%. They're just spreading. They literally interviewed the front row and they were like, I've been here. And I'm wearing a diaper. And the one guy was like, I'm wearing a pad. And everyone in the comments was like. You don't have to. No, that's not. You've peed your pants. Yeah. Like no pad in the world is soaking up you peeing your pants.

Not to be like an annoying New Yorker, but I used to live, don't forget all this, right by Times Square. in hell's kitchen and at one point like i had to get to my place and they were like you can't go because it was like the day and i was like no i live there they're like you can't cross this and i'm like I can't get to my house. And it was like took like 30 minutes of talking to different cops to try to get to my apartment because my ID said like.

an old apartment from the year before and it was i like couldn't get home don't get me started on the parades in new york city the amount of times i've been like but i live here and they're like no also i had a epiphany the other day that sometimes um

sometimes i'm annoying i think that's like in your 30s you start realizing like in what context just like you have flaws and that's okay i think your 20s you're trying to be perfect yeah then you be like i don't have any flaws then you're trying to like hide your flaws then by your 30s you're like yeah that's me like i'm so annoying about being from new york

like i was talking to someone the other day and i could just hear myself talking and i was like shut up like i just got my driver's license like i can't function anywhere but new york yeah and like just like normalizing being like oh that's an annoying side of me that like

we'll work on that like New York is your personality yeah I'm trying to think what's like the most annoying thing I've done recently that I've like clocked like wow that's annoying as fuck I feel like in your 20s you ignore it where your 30s you're more open to yes

yes because you're like i'm evolving there's so many more times in my 30s that in my head i've been like yeah i handled that wrong that was on me and that's maturity and that was a bitchy thing to say or like that was just like a rude thing to do

We're in my twenties. I'd be like, get over it. Can I just say something though? Like I know we joke that you're mean and rude to everyone. You've never, you've never been rude to me. No, it's kind of like a persona that like, well, you want to know what? You've never even got mad at me before. No.

And you're always like, oh, I got mad about this. You've never gotten like mad. Yeah, because I love you. You're like, you get away with so much. This is so long ago and I forgot to bring it up on the pod. What? So a couple of weeks ago there was, you know, when randomly on TikTok, everyone was getting like videos that like they were like, I saw this last week or like I saw this last month.

Or whatever. That happens all the time. I was going through that and there was a TikTok that I had seen before and I must have seen it in like the middle of the night because I didn't comment on it and I like wanted to. This girl made this TikTok and she was like.

It's just like very obvious that Paige loves Hannah so much more than Hannah loves Paige. And she wasn't even being like mean in it. And she was like, this is why I think this. Like, I just don't think. And she goes like all these explanations. wait what did she say i have to find it but they're like the way hannah looks at page sometimes and i commented and i was like that fucking bitch But no, people don't think that we would be friends because we're so different.

But what people don't realize is that I don't feel comfortable with people like you. And that's exactly it. I don't feel safe. I don't trust you. When I see someone who moves like me, you go, I don't need that energy in my life. No, but I think it's a self-awareness thing where I'm like, I'm annoying about certain things that I should not be annoying about.

and shoes and like i have to where you don't you don't care about that stuff so it's almost like an escape of my own brain to be with you that's why we're with men because occasionally you have something that's like pissing you off and then you say to them and their perspective helps us yeah like we need that occasionally but also with you there was a second where i'm like why does she like me

And then I met one of like your old childhood friends who's like just like me too. You like to surround yourself with like people who don't take themselves too seriously. Your brother is also like me. Who did you meet of my childhood friends? Stephanie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's outgoing, cool. She's personality. It's not like all your friends are a type of way and I'm like a cold sore.

Except that one dinner you brought me to and I was like, hi guys. If anything, I really don't have any, I would say the closest girlfriend that I have that is like exactly like me. I don't have any. Do you know what's so funny too? All my friends growing up were always like the pretty girly like hot girl and I would like live vicariously through all her like boy stories because I was scared.

Do you know that growing up, my best friend from literally kindergarten to college, literally my whole life, she was like number one on the softball team, number one on the basketball team. And I was just like, yeah, she's a fucking athlete.

And you love that about her, but you weren't competing. Yeah, because I was like, oh my God, look at her go. Where she didn't give a shit about. Can I tell you my best friend in high school? Well, I got to high school in junior year, halfway through junior year.

because I transferred from a tennis academy. So middle junior year, I show up to Beacon High School, raise my hand in a class, like crazy behavior. And after the class, the most beautiful girl in the class, like high cheekbones, blue eyes, comes up to me and she's just like.

You don't have anywhere to go to lunch with, do you? And you go out to lunch and begin. Like, it's like, cool. Like, it's a whole thing. And I was like, no. She takes me out to lunch. Immediately, I'm like, you're my favorite person in the world. That's the nicest thing ever. And then fast forward a couple months later.

She pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking. You remember? And I literally take her cigarette and I throw it out. And it's literally so me and you. Because she was just like a bad girl. And she's like, oh, this guy, whatever. And I'm like, get the cigarette. You're going to die. and she's like oh like we're so different but like we just loved each other and she'd be waiting at my locker every day

My favorite moment is just like watching you try and smoke weed. Wait, can I tell a story that I don't think we ever told that happened on reality TV? Me smoking weed. Everyone had like. There was a weed pen going around at one point. Yes, it was mine. It wasn't going around. I was just hitting it. And we, for some reason, were like hiding in a closet. Yep, it was.

Me, you and Amanda, you had just come home from somewhere. And something bad had happened. And me and Amanda were in the closet. Something like I was really upset. And I remember you being like, Hannah. Just hit this. Yeah. I'm like, okay, fine. And I'm so dramatic about it. Like I'm about to do heroin for the first time. I put up to my mouth. no idea what to do no idea what to do not doing it right again don't even know how to do it was trying to do it then a guy i'd been talking to

comes by, sees me holding it, gets mad at me for smoking weed. I then go, I don't know how to smoke weed. I didn't know what I was doing. We get into a whole thing. He's mad at me. You guys are laughing. I forgot about that.

i forgot about that second part i literally like stopped remembering i was like i don't even know how to inhale and he's like how do you not know how to inhale i'm like i'm really dumb and scared and i don't know what's happening wait i forgot about that i think that was the day that i was like He's a loser. I was like, I didn't even.

I was like, we're 25. We're going to hit the weed pen. You fucking narc. That was wild behavior on his part. I was like, literally get out of my face. Wow, that was a trip down memory lane. That was. I want to make one quick announcement too. I posted my name. situation i got my nails done i got my first russian manicure do you love i want to say these women yeah are scientists yeah

I haven't gotten one yet. And everyone says once you get one, you'll never go back. She did nip one of my cuticles and I she hit an artery. Yeah, I bled a little and it's kind of hurting. And if it gets infected, you could die. But besides that.

I feel very... Wait, do you want to know what's crazy? It's like... that's true no my friend told me a story of a girl who had to go to the hospital because of a manicure no people have gotten their fucking feet chopped off because of like a pedicure gonna ride yeah like a sept like you become like septic Yeah, someone had to like miss a wedding because of it, which was a great idea. But when I broke my nail and the way they create a new nail based off of just the like.

clay is yeah 3d printing yeah and it's just a lady with a like a literal wooden stick i'm like how did you create a whole new nail bed like it's incredible the work that they've done yeah it is and i just want to raise awareness for like do you want every time i get my nails done i don't I think this is because I have anxiety that I randomly will just shake. It's not good. But if I have to do something with my hands, I'm going to shake a little.

It's the Diet Coke just raging through your veins. You're like... I'm drugged out. I'm figuring it out. No, so I always think when I'm getting my nails done when they're painting, I'm like, every time I'm like, I would have fucked that up. Right there at that part, I would have fucked...

that up to like it's so crazy how they can do it my final thought which is a meme that i saw that made me laugh really hard so i want to say it out loud to the gigglers someone wrote does ben affleck only know two women Wait, this is so bad because I am a fan of Ana de Armas. I think she's stunning. I think she's a good actress.

This is so mean. Oh my God, I'm trying to be self-aware, but like, this is mean. Whenever I can't do something or I think like, I'm going to be bad at that or like, I've never tried that before. Like, it's probably not my hidden talent. I always think if Ana de Armas can be Marilyn... I can do anything. Mental health moment of the year. No, that's so true. Blonde doesn't go with her.

And usually I don't think about bad movies years later. For whatever reason, that movie really stuck in my brain. I think because I was, do you want to know why? As I was watching it, it was going through a man's phone. There's so much lore there. But I think about it all the time. I go, Ana de Armas, I can do this. And that's what we're going to leave you guys with.

I hope you enjoyed our first second episode. We doubled up double Oreo this week. We're going to be different. Like some days we're going to do like one topic. Like we're going to have gigglers write in like you have to talk about this. Yeah. Like things that we didn't touch on. Sometimes we might have a guest. Sometimes I might not show up. You know, different stuff could happen. We're free falling. We love you guys so much. And thank you for giggling. Bye. If you've used Babbel, you would.

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