Patton Oswalt has Superstitions

What's that at the foot of my bed. It's spooky and you I'm really sure it's dead. It's coming this way. Wait a minute, he I ghost said, I Nandez.

Police.

Hey boo, it's me Raz and welcome to Ghosted by Roz Hernandez. I like to talk to people that I like about ghosts, aliens, cryptid creatures, anything freaky. I have got on somebody that I really like. I mean, I don't want to be dramatic by saying this, but he's truly one of my favorite comedians, and I'm just gonna go so far as to say one of the best

I am very good, Roz. Thank you so much for having me back into the etheric, ghostly world of Ghosted.

Yes, ah, oh my god, it's such an honor to have you on here. You and your lovely wife Meredith were the first guests that I had when I like changed the format because you know, it used to be only people woul like ghost stories for the most part, that's right, and I'm like, oh, I hope it's gonna work. And then as soon as I was done with you guys, I was like.

It works.

Oh my god, you said the bar Hi. You guys were perfect.

That's very ironic, coming from the fact that, as I said on my last appearance, I have never had any kind of supernatural encounters and could not be more open to it and have never had anything.

But that's why it's the beast like you're You're very down to get weird. You're open, you're here for it. Also, I heard from the internet that you're gonna be in the Ghostbusters movie.

Weirdly enough. Yes, I spent the summer in London filming the Ghostbusters movie. Got to hang out with Dan Aykroyd, who's had nothing but supernatural encounters in his life.

Oh yeah, his whole family. Oh yeah, they're like paranormal royalty.

Porm royalty. Yeah, it's nuts. And we were in London filming in a lot of old locations that had a lot of creepiness to them, you know. But again, I didn't encounter anything drove me crazy.

Even with dan Aykroyd there, well.

You know. I remember I told you the story of a couple of summers ago. I was filming something on the Queen Mary and everyone on the crew had a supernatural encounter except for me. So they were setting up a shot and I'm standing in front of this grand staircase and then over in video village where I can't see someone looking at the monitors said go up there, we got to clear the background. There's a crew member upstairs.

I bet you that that was the ghost of somebody that was an aspiring extra. They wanted a SAG voucher. Yeah, they were there trying to get a little airtime.

Get a little health insurance from me on the grave. Yes, too late, now, buddy, you should have got that while you were alive.

So also after your last appearance, you hooked me up with your friend Darcy, who does a tour of a place in Orange County that's a haunted. She does like a ghost tour.

Oh that's right, Yeah.

The Kellogg House, which is so cool. Have you been?

Oh? Boy, no, I've never been to that, and I hear it's crazy haunted.

Yeah that's what they say. I don't know. Maybe it was because I had just talked to you, but the ghosts they didn't want anything to do with me.

Yeah, They're like, she's going to go right to Pat and no, we don't want any of this. I feel like, here's what I how I equate it. I feel like I'm the person that's in the nightclub or the bar that's way too eager and it's giving off needy vibes that everyone just keep the hell away. Yeah, he's going to write a massive blog.

Oh yeah, it's gonna end up in one of your specials or something.

Yes, So I got to learn to act like I don't care, but I do. I want to see the nether world, damn it.

I feel like there needs to be Do you remember there's a show early two thousands that was like the pick Up Artist or something, and it was like some guy he had like a big old hat on and he would like tell men like, here's how you get girls. You gotta like act like you're not. Oh, I want to be that. But for like people that want to talk to.

Ghosts, Oh my god, teach ghost hunters pick up artist techniques.

Yeah, I'm sure it applies. I honestly do think that that is true.

If you make contact with the Wiji board, wait three days before you get back on the Wiji board, don't immediately put your hand on the plan chet like make them wait.

Yes, that's so desperate.

Yeah, exactly.

They don't want that.

No, they don't pick up artist techniques to meet spirits. That's actually kind of brilliant.

Thank you. Can I share with you a case that I did some research on.

Boy, sure, here we go.

Oh my god, I love how scared you is? This is so fun. The last time I did this with you, we had Jeff the talking mongoose, Yes, which there's a weird story about mongoose ghosts that talked.

That said rude things, was apparently cursed and was very rude and inappropriate.

Yes, a bitchy mongoose ghost. And this is also something that spoke. This is the union screaming house.

Oh boy, and where is this located.

This is located in gorgeous Union.

Missouri, Union Missourra.

Have you played Union Missouri.

I have not played Union Missourra. But I have been in Saint Louis, I've been in Kansas City, I've been all through the Midwest. The Midwest is, from what I understand, crazy haunted, not just with the dead but with the living. Apparently the winds. There's an amazing documentary about folk horror, the horror that comes out of like rural settings. Oh yeah, and it's pre and a half hours long. It could have been eight. I would have watched the whole thing.

I forget it anyway, Yes, I think I remember seeing that on shutter or something.

It's on shutter. But they talk about how the wind over the plains Midwest drove people insane. It's non stop and it makes people crazy out there. So yeah, Missouri, that whole area. Absolutely, I believe that it's haunted. And the fact that you're just said, screaming Union House, here we go, here we go.

Yeah, the wind can keep these screaming goes away.

Yep.

So a book was written by the man that the story revolves around.

Oh.

In two thousand and eight. It's called The Uninvited, The True Story of the Union Screaming Houseoo. So there's been a lot of details. I didn't read the book. I'm sorry, I don't have time. But I did read a two thousand and four piece that he wrote on legendsofamerica dot com.

Uh huh, which.

I should be on. Thank you.

Hell yeah.

So this was before he wrote the book, so he kind of gives the beginning, middle, and ends.

Oh, okay, which I appreciate.

So this is back in May of two thousand and one. His name is Stephen A. Chance.

Oh.

Stephen is a single father of three.

Okay, his lease is up.

He's desperately looking for a place to live, and he and his daughter roll up to an open house, a white, two story home. It's got original woodwork, all intact.

Oh.

The living room is decorated with cherubs, and it's two floors, three bedrooms. The basement has an old butcher shower and a fruit seller down there.

Wait, I'm sorry when you say butcher's shower, what does that mean?

Oh, you know, we're a butcher showers.

So you got a butcher shower in the basement, as one does. Of course, yeah.

It says the price is good. He really wanted this house. He's like, I need this. It was pretty cheap for what it was and they were living in an apartment at the time and he had three kids, and he's like, I want this house. So the landlady doing this open house, she's a strange old lady, and he gives her his application and she's like, do you understand the responsibilities that come with owning an old house like this? And he's like yeah, and she's like okay, And then a week

That is the class Class sixth scene at the beginning of every slasher and Haunted House movie where the kids are going to the camp and there's the old weird guy. That camp's got a death curse on it, like it. That's the classic opening scene.

In this movie. I want to play the old lady. Land Lady. I hope you're okay with this?

Oh, Abs, come on, are you kidding?

So first night is totally fine. Second day he notices that all the doors in the rooms and stuff have a hook and eye lock on the outside of them, as if to keep something in the room, which is a little suspicious. He's hanging up a painting. He's got a painting of two angels, and he's like, oh, well, it goes perfect with the decor of this living room. So he's hanging it up and right after he walks away, it just falls down.

Okay, like whatever, big deal.

But it happened twice.

Well that's right, then you're out run.

So the third time he puts it back up and he feels a a gush of cold air by his feet and it falls again, and he says that he literally yelled out like girl stay. I don't know what he said, but he said something.

I don't think he said girl, but yeah, he.

Said girl stay. He says that after he yelled out. It listened.

Sure.

So then his daughter's playing outside and she's like, Daddy, look, every time somebody walks by the house, they go on the other side of the street as soon as they get in front of the house. Nobody wanted to walk right in front of the house, okay, And he's like, let me see about this. So he goes out there. He stayed for three hours, and he noticed that every single person would cross the street, they didn't want to

Yikes.

So he also another thing, noticed that there's a tree in the yard that has shedding leaves, even though it was May and just the one tree a little weird.

Don't like it.

So anyway, it's starting to get scary now.

Yeah.

One day, while they're doing yard work, he tells his son, go get the hose that's in the basement somewhere near the butcher shower. The kid goes down there. He runs up from downstairs without the hose. He has pete his pants and he says that something big chased him up the stairs. This is why I don't have kids. I would have been like, get down there. Yeah, you are younger and faster than me. You will be able to outrun whatever that is me with my knees.

Oh you kidding. Yeah, I mean.

You're the man of the house. Have you moments like this where you have to, like by default.

I've had a couple of moments where yeah, I mean, you're supposed to, I guess, defend the homestead. But one of the times when I had to defend the homestead, my wife pushed her way past me and stormed out in the yard with a baseball bat and started screaming

Did your daughter ever say like there's a monster in my closet or like anything like that, because that's what I would be gone right.

No, she never had any monster in the closeting. She just had a lot of bad dream stuff where I could just go, well, that's in your head, that can't hurt you. You're just having a dream, and like I can't go, well, I'll go into your dreams and fight these monsters. So so far, I've been lucky to know nothing weird under the bed.

This is why I don't have kids, probably never will.

You know, there's that classic I think it's a creepy pasta story, super short story where a father goes into his son's better midnight. The sun's really scared, it's like what trolling. He's like, there's a there's a monster into the bed and the fatherly does a classic well I'll look under the bed and I'll make sure that there's nothing there. And he looks under the bed and under the bed is his son going there's a monster up in bed.

A oh my god.

Yeah exactly. So that's like, whoa is that?

Where it ends?

That's it. That's the story right there, all you need because creepypasta is all about the shock, right. Some of them are really well done.

That's the thing, though, I need to know what the good ones are because I've wasted some time on some time. I'm like, this creepy pasta is gluten free pasta. Right here, this is not pasta.

This creepy pasta is a little overcooked.

This is zucchini noodles, zoodles. This is not any real pasta.

Fuck zoodles, fuck zoodles.

Okay, I know it's all like old school gender normsy like whatever, but I'm gonna come out and say right now, of all the reasons I transition, it's shit like that. This is the number one reason that I transition is because I'm not being no man of the house, none of that.

So hang on, you're saying that ghosts and the supernatural is one of the reasons you transitioned.

Just the idea of man of the house, right right, You're like, fuck that. I'm not doing any of that, right, I'm not going to home deep. But I will say nowadays, when I go to home depot, it's so much better because before, like I don't know how to fix anything. I know how to I break everything. And so if I go just the like it's just all this gender norm shit that is like so oh no, I get it. You know how many times I bought something and then I get home and I'm like, it's the wrong size.

Well, also, I imagine before you transitioned, you were tall and slender, but also muscular and looked competent. Right, I'm a man who looks incompetent. So I never get bothered with that shit you unfortunately tall, Like, oh that that guy knows? Hey, what kind of do I get a tea boult or an end bolt here? Like? Oh God, let me alone? So yeah, exactly, I never get those questions.

I'm always praying that the one lesbian that works there is on shift. And sometimes you get there she's not there, and then I'm stuck. Right, But nowadays, Oh, I go in there, I put on a red lipstick.

Oh yeah, I pad my bra.

And I'm like, who wants to help me? I need a ham? Okay. So back to this man, what he decides to do. Oh yeah, yeah, he goes down there with the kids, and I don't blame him.

Oh Jesus, Okay, he brings a couple, brings the kids with him.

I love it perfect, And he says he doesn't find anything. Okay, So at this point the painting is fallen, You're noticing the neighbors. It's a little weird at this point.

Maybe ask if the house has a history, or go to the local library, Like why is he doing it all piecemeal like this?

He's single father three trying to you know, it seems like a tough situation when people get in these situations because they're like, fuck, I just signed the lease and we just did all this move That's another thing. I hate moving. So wherever I'm going, I'm staying.

That's it right right right by the way.

All this stuff has happened only in the first week.

Jesus dude.

So another thing that happened. They keep finding that when they come home, the lights are on, all the lights. So one morning the two boys go in the car before school and he and his daughter go around. They check all the lights. They make sure, okay, all the lights are off, no one's keeping them on. They get home and all the lights are on. That would piss me off. Who's paying for that?

Now? That's costing you money?

Exactly.

Yeah.

But one cost that they don't have to worry about is the air conditioning because the living is thirty degrees cooler than everywhere else.

Ooh, well, that's actually kind of convenient.

That's nice. There's been some days lately where I'm like, if a ghost wants to come in here just for like a couple hours in cold spots, exactly.

Is that the way to solve global warming? This help us go.

This is why mary Anne Williamson needs to win. I feel like this is she would do.

So.

He notices that all the lights are out. He goes around the house. He's literally working up a sweat trying to figure out how are these lights again? Another thing I wouldn't be able. I don't know what a damn breaker box says whatever. He's trying to figure out why the lights are on, can't figure it out. He's sweating. That's when he goes into the room and his daughter's like, it's thirty degrees or she shouldn't say, but she's like,

Yep.

So another time, one night, they're sitting in the living room. He's about to go the next morning on a work trip and the kids are gonna stay with their grandma. He sees by the corner of his eye, like some movement, and they're all just sitting in the living room, you know whatever. He sees like some movement, and he looks over and there is the figure of a man, but it's made out of dark mist. It's kind of like swirling around classic totally. He looks away, he looks back.

Oh, you're right.

Yeah, So it's still there, he says. It starts to kind of moving walking, and then it just vanishes. He decides to keep calm. He's like, all right, kids, we're going to grandma's now. And so they get into the car and his son goes, Daddy, look the basement monster is standing in the upstairs window. So sure enough he looks and that same figure that he just saw was looking out the window.

Figure at the window.

Oh boy, so patten, in the words of the great John kinones, what would you do?

I mean? Except for it scaring the kids. It doesn't seem to be overtly like if it's trying to get people out of the house, it's not doing a good job. It only knows how to minorly annoy people, Like it's not making the walls bleed. It's not. I mean, I guess it could disturb your sleep, but I mean, the first thing I would do is look into the history of the house. I'd either ask the neighbors to go to the library. Was there a murder, was there some

With it exactly they were new yeah yeah, yeah. So but say you do find out there was a murder or whatever, what do you do with that?

Uh? Whush? Maybe get your money back from the wheel term. Is there a way to get like either a reduction in what the you know, mortgage is or if you're determined to stay, make it worth your while. If not, leave and try to get like a bonus or damages, right, and get another place. You know what I mean.

It's kind of state by state, right, I believe the different laws on I don't know what it is in Mizori, but I think that some states they do have to disclose if anything happened.

Wow.

Well, okay, it's funny you bring.

This up because ooh ooh what happens?

He is, you know, rifling around his shed and he finds some old belongings of different people.

Oh shit.

He's like, all right, I'm gonna call that creepy, weird old landlady. This is my second scene in this movie. And he asks her, like, all right, it's a little weird that. Has anyone ever reported a go? And by the way, do you ever ask have you ever asked that when you move into a place?

I have asked, what the especially in Hollywood? You want to know anyone famous live here?

Okay, wait a second, have you ever lived in a house that was somebody famous's house? That's amazing?

No. No, never lived in anybody. But I have a lot of friends who have houses where they're like, oh, yeah, at one point this person lived here. I had a friend that lived in Roddy McDowell's house.

Cool.

Yeah, and he was just like, based on the number of gay parties that happened in this house, I could take a cup of the pool water to a lab and regrow tab hunter.

Ah.

That was Dana Gould's joke about that. But like Roddy McDowell hosted genuinely amazing parties, we would screen things. So the history of the house was incredible.

I love that, and I believe that that vibe can stay around.

Yes, Like, you know, have you ever lived in a place where there was a death or someone famous or a haunting or something like that?

Not that I know it, but I've always asked every place I go. And you know what's so funny. I was just thinking last night about when I moved into this place. I asked my landlord, is this place haunted? I said, legally I have to ask, yeah, yeah, And he was truly weird about He was like, no, what And I was like, how long did the person live here before? And he said, oh, like a really long time. He's like, all the people that have lived here have stayed for a really long time. They love it.

Oh.

But what I realized last night was I didn't ever ask did the person move out? Oh shit, or is this the last place that they were breathing. I don't know.

The phrase anyone who's ever lived here has stayed for a long time is weirdly ominous.

So back to the story. So when he asked her, has anyone ever reported a ghost, she's a little dodgy and she's like, what goes? Uh huh? What's that? And she does say, well, the last two tenants only stayed here for a short time. One of them left their belongings and never came back for him, and then another one left in the middle of the night, never to return again. Wouldn't answer phone calls in anything. She's like, but I don't know about a ghost.

But I don't know about a ghost.

So he's on the phone with his mom one night and the doors are rattling around the house and he's like, all right, kids, stop horsing around. And it gets more intense and they're like, you know, rattling, bang and whatever, and he's like, stop and knock it off. His daughter like comes in. She's like, I'm reading my book and my two brothers are sleeping. What are you talking about. Instantly the temperature drops, he feels the electrical rush back in his body and he smells a terrible odor. He

Part, and that's that's a very human thing to do.

So he hears a screaming of a man and it's getting intensely louder and louder. The whole house comes alive. Shake it. His daughter is screaming in her room. He goes up there and it is locked. He cannot get it open. He's trying, he's doing ever. He going to bust it open, and he hears some of them coming behind him. He finally gets in there. She is literally in shock. He grabs her, gets the boys. They run outside. Everyone's screaming. They're here in the same male screaming coming

Okay, first off, better job ghost. That's a little more aggressive and creepy.

Yeah. Everything else was a dress rehearsal.

Yes, exactly. Yeah, he was trying out some new material. Didn't work. Yeah, went back to the classic stuff because that is classically scary as shit.

Totally. Yeah, He's like, you know this worked the last two people.

That stuff, I'm fucking gone. You got me there, Well, you can't live.

That's unlivable. Now where does it go from there? You know it's only going to get worse. They never came back, except he did come back to get belongings, and he brought people with him, and every time they did, they heard a whisper, they heard, you know, all kinds of stuff. And again this was in two thousand and four. He has since written a book, and apparently his book goes into way more detail, like there's a lot more to it.

Did anyone move in after him?

It's as if your psychic, the way you ask me the questions that I got ready for you.

Here we go.

So he says, that's someone he knows. Saw a family running out of the house in their Jammy's in the middle of the night with the cops driving up. Wow, this was in two thousand and four. He also says, in two thousand and four, apparently the landlady couldn't get anyone to stay there, so she turned it into a dog kennel. So that's those poor dogs. That's horrible.

Yeah, that's not good.

Yeah, the scream and the bargain. That is the story of the Union Screaming House.

Hell yeah it is.

Can I can I show you a haunted doll?

Oh god, Roz. This is where I have some problems with you. And we talked about this last time. Haunted objects, haunted mirrors. There's all kinds of haunted objects everywhere, and you actively troll eBay at whatever. I don't know where you find this ship.

Yeah, a lot of times it's eba.

Yeah, you're the Sarah McLaughlin of haunted dolls. You are adopting these fucking things.

Now I'm not adopting them, I'm just talking about them.

Maybe it's safe because because this is over zoom, so I've got like two levels of separation going on, so this should be okay, right.

Oh yeah, you're fine. Also, stay in your you know, desperation. I want to see a ghost.

Oh shit, you're right. Wait wait wait ooh let me see this haunted doll. I can't wait. Maybe this spirit will jump into me. Yay, let's do it, do it? Okay, good, now we're safe, go ahead and do it.

All right, it's time for a segment I like to call the dolls are living. So this doll does not have a name. She's got no bids currently twenty dollars, Jieha. Could you throw up the doll for us please?

There we go Ooh well, okay, first off, this is clearly made in more modern times. Yes, those weird dark circles in the eyes you notice that?

Yeah?

Yeah, like the doll has insomnia.

Yeah, it's not good lighting for the doll.

This one doesn't creep me out as badly as the one you showed me on my last appearance, because this doesn't have that weird antique the near. Yes, a lot of these dolls, they are clearly antique. A lot of them are handmade. This is clearly polyurethane rubber mass produced.

Yeah.

Why do they say this doll is haunted?

Well, and this doll too, like beautiful eyes, she is Joe roganbald. Yeah, but this one allegedly has a demon. Oh so this person wrote, I got this doll from my friend who didn't know a demon's soul was attached. I cleaned up the doll not knowing and ended up making her mad. She scratched the shit out of my arm, but I made peace with her once I made her the dress that she's wearing. I would keep her, but she is not getting along with the other spirits in my home, and I need peace in the home. She

I gotta think a demon that chows that doll to hop into is not the most powerful or intelligent demon. There are creepier dolls that you can haunt. That is such a generic looking doll.

Maybe it's the only doll they had.

Maybe, but that would be like, how can I put this? That would be like haunting a cheesecake factory? Why, Like there are creepy old houses you can jump into. But you're right, maybe that's the only thing that this thing had available.

That's a technique, though, you go where you're not expected. You know, maybe you'll get more results, maybe you'll scare more. But I don't know. I also think of it. I've made this comparison before. It's sort of like sometimes you see a sad video of a hermit crab that's now stuck in a seven up can because like that's all they had they didn't have a shell anywhere.

Okay, ask your producer. There is either a picture or a video of a hermit crab, and all they had to use as a shell was a doll's head, like a baby doll head. And it is the creepiest goddamn thing you've ever seen. Creepy doll, but with crab legs coming out the bottom.

How ironic that I just made that comparison?

Yes, exactly.

Gee, do you any chance have that?

Yes? There it is?

Oh my god, Nope, nope. Honestly, it's kind of fabulous. It looks like the doll has like a really cool, like punk rock hair. Oh yeah, wait a minute, it's kind of orange.

Yeah, you know what, I don't hate that.

Yeah, if you look at it like that. It also kind of reminds me of that scene in It, the original one where they're like at the Chinese restaurant and they have fortune cookies and one of them is like a little.

Or that scene in John Carpenter's The Thing where the shevered head suddenly sprouts legs and antenna and then walks away.

Yes, well, Patten, can I play you some ghost voices?

Oh? Yes, do it? It's time for evp.

Or e ev pase. All right, Patton, you know how this works. I go to TikTok YouTube wherever or people can send them to me, and I find electronic voice phenomena alleged recordings of ghosts speaking, and I'm going to play you two of them. I want you to tell me what you think this ghost is saying, and then I'll give you some options, the correct answer being what the person that posts it believes it's saying. So this first one is from Sequaria Underscore Raven on TikTok okay,

Oh?

That is aggressive? Yeah, it's I'm gonna play it again.

Oh wait a minute, I'll do it again. It's like, don't take yourself back, or don't take don't take that book back, like it's angry that something is being taken. Oh, or like the way that someone like is lecturing you. Don't you ever do? Like it has that rhythm to it, Yes it does.

Well, here's some options. Okay, if that's not what they thought. Is it A. I said my name's Matt. Is it B? I just said that? C turn up the ther mustat or d I was gonna eat that. Okay, here we go.

It's the second one. Yes, I just said that, Yes, I just said that.

I hate that tone.

It feels like the idea of that's a ghost or that's a spirit that's stuck in a moment, a loop of pure rage, and they're just going to relive that moment totally. That's when they exist forever.

And I'm sure somebody was like, ooh, it's you know, I don't know, it's cold in here, and then the ghost was like, yeah, I just said that.

Right, oh boy. And it sounds young. It sounds like a pissed off teenager. M imagine being a powdy teenager for eternity.

I absolutely know what that's like. So here's another one. This is from at two seventy nine to four. Jess on TikTok. What is it say? It's way more whispered.

Yeah, yeah, hang on one more time, one more time.

I don't like it because of how's like a It reminds me of like the Poulter guy, like when you're talking through the TV. It has like that layered thing to it. Wait, let me play it again.

It sounds like it's saying exactly, this is.

Going to be a new thing for the network.

Exactly right, Oh that should be the.

Well that's not what they believe.

Okay, what are the options?

Is that a oopsie shot? B? Hold on one sec? C?

Who is that? Or D?

And just like that? Maybe they have a subscription to Max.

I think it's I think it's C. Who is that?

Yes?

Yeah? Who is that? Maybe? You know there's that theory that when we contact ghosts in a way, we're haunting them because it's someone time and they're hearing a weird voice. So that's someone in the future with a kind of Ouiji board or something like, who is that? What was that voice? I think that's what's going on.

I hate it.

Oh, I fucking love this. Well, how is this not a game show? All right? Anyway? Go ahead?

Well not an EVP. Just one more quick little thing. Oh I just I'll throw out a couple of things. And I'm just curious if you have, you know, any anything to say about these things.

Oh sure, sure.

Superstitions.

There's this great phrase superstition brings bad luck. Like in other words, if you follow a superstition, you are creating the structure to have, then bad luck hit you because you can't follow the structures of a superstition forever. In other words, bad luck doesn't exist until you put the superstition around it. So it's like when a when a ballplayer is in a pennant race and the wins the first game. So it's like, Okay, I'm not changing these socks.

So do you have superstitions?

I do, and I'd rather not talk about them. No, you don't have to, but I do have them.

But so you do believe in that sort of thing, and you.

Oh yes, I mean superstition is rubbing shoulders with OCD. I think it's just another version of it. OCD is the scientific name we put onto superstition, and a lot of superstition is about It's like when you don't tell anyone your mantra if you meditate. So I just I feel like if I reveal what the superstition is, then that gives bad luck free range to do whatever the fuck it wants. It makes the It makes the rituals powerless.

Which is a superstition in itself.

Which is an another fucking super goddamn it.

Raz You're right, yeah, fuck if I'm up for a job or something, I'm like, you can't tell anyone, it'll ruin it or whatever.

Yes, I don't want to jinx it to you. Hang out. You also have superstitious structures and rituals.

Filled filled to the brim with superstitions. And there's certain things like before I go on stage, like I just gotta I always have to do it. Oh yeah, but I try not to do like something where like my lucky underwear or whatever. I try not to do like that kind of a thing because like what if I didn't have it, Oh my god, like then I'll panic exactly. So it's more like mental things or like little things that I can do, or like not saying certain things

It doesn't have to do with any object that you have to have with you, because that leads to disaster. I feel like an object always gets forgotten.

That's the thing.

Uh.

Oh, I do have a Lucky Ring. Oh really Yeah, but I like to tell my because I know that thing that you had said, and I like to think if I don't have it, I still I still have whatever the power within me. Yeah. Wait, so I saw you went to Stonehenge. Do you have any paranormal theories about that?

My god, there are so many paranormal theories about Stonehenge that it is a weird much like the Pyramids. It's a power focusing point. I guess. Other people say that it has to do with how they told time or the sun. Again, I don't know enough about it. I do know we had just missed the winter solstice. We were there. It was after Christmas that we went there, and our tour guy was like, yeah, if you'd been here on the twenty first, every it is. This is

I want to do that. That sos fun.

Yeah, but I don't know enough about Stonehenge and lay lines and all that stuff, but I do know that it was its significant pagan And again, you got to watch that documentary. I think it's called Woodland's Dark and Days Bewitched.

Yes, but did you feel a vibe?

No? Because I was so jet lagged, and so I think that's what kept me off of any kind of vibe. I have felt weird vibes places. Again, never been haunted, but I've been places where I'm like, clearly, something fucked up has happened here. Like I got a background tour of Alcatraz once and I was like, this is like bad. The architecture itself is designed to affect you men to lee and physically totally. And whoever designed Alcatraz was a sadist.

I was just thinking, like it would be such an interesting study or whatever to like be blindfolded and put in a place and knowing it's Alcatraz or knowing whatever. I'm sure that effects, right, But I wonder, you know, just going to a place if any of us can be like, it feels like something bad happened here. You know, I don't.

Yeah, We've all been places where there like, okay, something shitty went down here.

Oh totally. There's certain places I've performed sometimes where I'm like, what is this vibe?

I'm actually about to go down to San Diego for the Comic Con later this month, and there's a big hotel there called the Hotel Coronado, which you will famously remember from Some Like It hot It's where Joey Brown and all of Joey Ross and all of the bachelors are waiting to hook up with young women.

Oh, I know all about it.

And the Coronado is supposed to be crazy haunted, and people who never had ghost encounters still go there and go, oh, there's a vibe something went down there.

You know what. One time, this was in my early twenties, I was dating an older gentleman and he was like, I got the weekend free. We could go anywhere where do you want to go? And I was like, Hotel the Cornett.

Yep.

We went and there was no ghosts, but there is a room that is like the haunted Room. The woman that haunts the place. I want to say. Her name is Kate Morgan. I think it was her name. Anyway, maybe you can request to go into the room something for some content so you can come back.

You got to start taking this on the road and do like live shows or like a live broadcast.

Don't you worry it's all in the plane.

Oh okay, well what about you?

That's about it. But what's going on with you? What do you want people to know?

It's already been out a month. My new trade paper are Back Minor Threats, collecting the first four issues of my dark Horse comic. Minor Threats, is available in comic bookstores and bookstores. I hope you buy it at a comic bookstore or bookstore. If you got to buy it online, go to bookshop dot org. And then in about a month from now, I'll be announcing my fall tour, new dates, new cities, so stay tuned for that. oOoOO yeah, it's all coming.

This is amazing. Thank you so much, Patten Roz.

As always, this is fascinating, horrifying, very uncomfortable. Please have me back in a few months.

I would want nothing more. Thank you so much. To Baton Oswald. I hope to have more conversations with him and all kinds of guests very soon. Next week. I will be back. You know what I like. I always appreciate when people send me that they heard some celebrity talked about their ghost experience or someone that they like. I like suggestions. I like you know, people go, hey, have you ever talked to this person or that person? I love that kind of stuff. Funny people, cool people,