Kirsten Vangsness

you seen Haunted? I like Haunted. It's like a it's like a storytelling reenactment kind of show, and there was a season or two that came out within the past few years. And it's usually like someone that grew up in a haunted house or had some kind of thing that spanned a period of time with a paranormal entity of some sort, and it's like them sitting in a room telling their family as we see reenactments. But now there's a version. That is the Latin American version and

it's in Spanish. I just started watching it and it's very scary. I mean, it's a reenactment show, so it can be like a little cheesy, but the stories. You come for the stories and they are very good. So just you know, if you're looking for something to watch, I thought I would throw that out there on Patreon. This week, I'm back talking about eBay dolls and go check that out patreon dot com. Slash rosdres Flees. That is on the firstier and link is also in the

description of this episode and on my second tier. The bonus clip this week is actually that thing that I've started doing not that long ago, where I like ask my guests about their thoughts on different paranormal things. It is that with Kirsten this week, so you can hear Kirsten talking about her thoughts on UFOs and Bigfoot and haunted dolls and all that fun stuff. So, without further ado, here is my chat with Kirsten vangs Nez on with the show. Kirs Then, how are you.

just soup, They're just goo. And I feel like I got to be I've been goo for like a year now. I've got to explore the goo which all of us, all of us have been forced to explore the gou. But I've been very lucky that the but both the environment in which I can go explore and and I'm just gonna keep going with that metaphor. And also like

just you know, I'm lucky. You know, my my mom my, mama is healthy, and you know what I mean, like all the people that I I haven't had to go through this whole experience I've gotten, you know, the heartbreak that I that I have incurred has has happened from watching other people go through deep pain, and it has forced me to explore all of the limiting beliefs and the white violence that I have and and inside of me and all this other you know, my internalized homophobia,

all this bullshit like that. I've gotten to been lucky enough that those have been my journal my journeys in the last year. So I'm great.

But also I have to turn this into a good thing. Yeah, and I have have to What else am I gonna do?

like eight months ago. Yeah yeah yeah, And and still I love being alone, like I value I I And it taught me something because I watched a lot of my friends, and I think it was also because you know, growing up and you have to you sort of use your extraversion or your introversion, I think is maybe a crutch. And I've always used my introversion as a cru crutch. Like I was a real weirdo growing up and always sort of have been and sort of outcasted. So I'm

very comfortable. I had to befriend my own company because I only had my own company for long periods of time in my early childhood. So this was like an opportunity. I mean, it brought me to tears, It brought me to my knees emotionally. There were times, you know, I remember when the protests were happening and it was right by my house and smoke is, and there's it. Just the noise was deafening, and I remember crying because I have never felt so safe inside my own body, like

when I was growing up. I never felt that safe. And although I was scared and I was so sad to see people going through pain, and I was scared in that like gosh, that was a loud noise, like that kind of a thing. I've never been this at home with myself, and this time has taught me to be even more at home with the home that I

inhabit and make it more my home. Like this internal little meat puppet suit we live in temporarily is our home, right, and so you want to make sure that you decorate the fuck out of it and you you know, design it to your liking because we have to.

watch horror movies. I curate what comes into my body so closely because I can be so quickly dysregulated by anything that terrifies me. And I'm saying this fully aware everyone that I if you don't know, and you don't have to know this, I play a computer analyst on a TV show that is probably the most violent show on network television. It's called Criminal Minds. It's about serial killers,

and we reference real life serial killers. So I've had to say, and I was on that show for fifteen years, and and I I can't tolerate watching or thinking about spooky stuff. So I like to I do believe that there are well, I think two things. Number One at Cartole, the guy who wrote the Power of Now, He's he talks about this idea of there being thought forms, like every thought we've ever thought, every experience, it exists. It's like out there and if your radio signal is tuned

to it, you'll pick it up. So I sometimes think that like old versions of people that get stuck like that, maybe they're floating around and they get picked up. I also like to think because I do have my best friend transition to non physical, which is the way I like to word it. I stole that from I stole that from Abraham Hicks if you don't know who that is.

But my my dear friend Michael transitions to non physical when I was he was twenty four, so I think I was twenty two and he uh and I had the honor of being there for much of the transition, and there was a lot of talk of like, Okay, I'm gonna visit you and we're gonna make stuff together, and Far to me was like, no, don't do that. I was like so freaked out. But like, I do think that spirit, I don't think that it's something we can understand. Have you read that book by Anita Moujarni.

I'm saying her last name very wrong, but she wrote a book She died and came back, and the way she described death I think was super interesting. I just think there are things we don't get like that. I like to believe because I actually did just have a friend that was older transition to non physical about a month ago. And I like to believe there's no such

thing as loss. I want to believe that the punchline isn't over once we leave here, and that maybe people that are you know, caught on the drama triangle and super in their villainous self need to get their theater out, you know, after they've kicked it by, you know, doing creepy things. And I also believe, I absolutely believe that I am I interface with people that have passed on. I it's just how I have to get through the day.

I don't I feel the presence of especially my friend Michael, like so often and so many like little inside things and stuff that I can't deny that. But I also am the I also really get freaked out about Like That's why I'm good when I talk about a ghost story, because I don't want it to be true. I just objectively know the facts. So when I'm tell you my thing, it's like, well, this is what happened. So there you go.

one night, like that's creepy. But then I've realized from having other people pass that it doesn't necessarily manifest in that way. Sometimes it's a song comes on the radio when you need to hear it, or you know, certain little signs you can get you can choose to acknowledge.

about ten years ago. This is about eight years ago, and I had a terrible, really not He was a kind of parent that you have to create a huge boundary because they have contracted you so much and done so much of a you know, you're just not You're not. You can't be around them trying to parse out my words really well. And so I have a much better

relationship with him. When he died and I was relieved, And it's a lot of it's a very strange feeling when you don't when you have a parent that you don't connect to, and that you actually feel a great deal of relief and safety with them not being physically present on the planet. And I remember walking out the door. I was going to go have lunch with my mom and my sister, and behind my back I heard this

dinging noise, like someone had used a triangle. And I turned around in my bedroom and there's a big bookshelf and I had taken all my rings off. I was doing a show the night before, and I had all these rings, and one of the rings I was wearing it was in the middle of the book shelf. It was in the middle of the bookshelf, and it flew up in the air and it landed in them. I was watching it. It had fallen and it was spinning in a circle like crazy and it was my dad's

wedding ring. And when I had turned around, I remember thinking like something to the effect of like this relief that I get to go have lunch with my mom and my sister, and like, fuck that guy, I'm so glad to start here. And that happened. I remember looking down at it and I said, okay, fine, and I picked it up and I wore it because I was like, I got it, man, okay, but still fuck off, like you don't. You don't get to be there, but I'll

wear a fucking ring. And I remember making a recording of it because it was so normal but so unusual, you know. And if you don't note the magic in your life, I mean I think this about everything so many. I think that the non physical and the things that we don't understand are always in concert with us. And if you note it, that pattern recognition comes up more.

And why not do that, you know, even if it isn't you know, even if you can explain it away, why not try to notice if something is trying to get to you, you know. And I always like to think that I'm energetically in a place if I keep myself energetically at a at a good frequency. And that doesn't mean like super positive. It just means like grounded, authentic.

You know, if I keep myself who like really that my inside is a match to what I'm expressing outside of me, then I'm vibrating in a place where all the cool kind of people and stuff that isn't physical can be in concert with me. So I'm going to assume that whatever's connecting with me is good stuff and wants to help. But I think we can always use

those things. I mean I when I write, even I'm a playwright, and there has been more than once that I've been like, Okay, I don't know how to do this myself, and it's not like I've channeled, but it's I don't know. Maybe it's not like I haven't. I certainly don't feel like I certainly don't feel like I came up with that idea. So it's either a bunch of people, like a collective unconscious or something. I'm not

that smart. So I like to think that, you know, are insides are in little our little ghost inside of our body's legs to touch the ghosts that are hanging up in the sky before they go recycle themselves into different meat puppetsuits. But maybe that's just me.

someone's like, oh, I play a dead body. I want you to see me, and it's like, I my imagination just doesn't doesn't do that that thing. And it can be really people can think that you're exaggerating or like make fun of you about it, or try to try and I've tried to do this. I've tried to kind

of beat it out of me, you know. But it's like I grew up with a lot of scary stuff and so that and it's not like it's not like I couldn't handle it, but it's like you're talking to the girl who just saw Silence of the Lambs like sick years ago. And I walked around for a good to two weeks. I wanted to tell everybody, do you

know Anthony Hopkins is still out there? Did you see at the end he's still did everyone see a I just wanted to go up to strangers at the market, But excuse me, have you seen Sounds of the Landsdie? Did you see that part where they did that? Like and I was actively on criminal minds at the time, and so I have to kind of watch that part of me because she can get a little fascinate or something,

you know. I think I think that there's something about reinventing and not reinventing creating who you want to be when you were in a space where you couldn't be who you wanted to be because I don't know, because of your life circumstances or whatever. And it's like I don't need to it's not interesting to me to terrorize myself. I've been terrorist, I'm not. I don't do it for entertainment and some people need to do it to make theater out of it. And that's okay. Like I'm not

judging anybody. I'm just saying for me, I'm the person who, like, I remember going on a date to not Scary farm and I was raised in I spent my teenage years in Orange County, and I had to spend the whole time, like when the monster jumps out at you. For those of you who don't know, not Scary farmers like this. They have these monsters that jump out and they're very elaborate. They have these elaborate spooky mazes. And I spent the

whole time. I like, and I've gone there now multiple times because friends will be like, oh, kist, you'll be fine. They jump out and this is me, Hello, good sir. I like your makeup, well done, touche. You've got me this time. Like I have to make jokes. I have to, like I have to completely break the break it. I now having said that I'm a super light, I'm super witchy, like I'm all about like like I kind of run like, uh, I kind of run goth light generally. So it's it's

like a weird juxtaposition. Like I love spooky, Like I am the house that if you drive by my house during Halloween, you will be delighted, Like it's delightful. I have like full trees up, like full fake trees with faces and fog machines. But I also I go spooky, not creepy. Do you know?

little girl. When I was about four, we moved to I was born in Pasadena, California, and when I was about four, both my parents are teachers and they got jobs in the Central Valley of California, which is like your car if you were here in Los Angeles and you were trying to drive to San Francisco, it would be like your car gets possessed and makes a left hand turn and then tries to drive into the armpit of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. And that's okay, where I

was raised. And I say it with all the love in my heart because I want it to be like a John Cougar Mellencamp song, like want I want where that is to be like that. And it can be and also can not be that because there was a lot of poverty and a lot of substance abuse, because people aren't, you know, able to take care of themselves because there's not a lot of work and blah blah blah.

Devin Nenez if you're familiar with that particular politician, he is famous in America for supporting our previous president by lying and all kinds of nonsense, like very racist and xenophobic and all this stuff. He is the representative of the central of where I was raised. It is the red part of California, got it, Okay. So there's these little towns around there, and one of the bigger towns is a town called Porterville, and that is where I spent most of my childhood. And Portville is an old

California town. When I was a little girl. We would go to this place called the Zalad House, which the Zalads lived in and they didn't live in there anymore. It was just like a big old Victorian house. It was really one of the only beautiful houses in Porterville.

And we would go and you know, it was like all this Victorian furniture and it was all like with ropes, you know, like partitioned off so you could just walk through with little kids like and you'd go every year, so we all knew all the stories and it was really spooky even just that, you know what I mean, like a Victorian place with velvet ropes, and you sit there and you stare at everything and you imagine what it's gonna be like at night. And I lived on

this street that was pretty desolate. Off to one side, there was nothing but a field off to one side, and it was not a great street. My house burnt down soon after I moved away because the people who then lived there made it into a meth lab and it burnt down. And the street I lived on, although I remember being like, oh it was quaint when I went and visited. There were no star sidewalks, and you know, children are in the middle of the street wearing no

clothes but a diaper, like it was. It was intense. And then you're like, oh yeah, this is oh yeah, like this is this, this is it. So now it's it's a little tiny story. The first bit is a teeny tiny story and the second it's just slightly longer. So I had a very tumultuous upbringing, and my my father moved out of the house. My parents didn't get a divorce, but he moved out, uh, And he would come back on the weekends, and my sister had friends. My sister was. My sister had friends, and she would

she would go and be gone. And I didn't have friends to who invited me over to their house. And so I was a very odd looking kid. And I, you know, I think being queer in any way and and not not being good at suppressing it can make your life, especially we don't know what it is, can make your life really tumultuous and strange when you're a kid.

And I did not know the words for, you know, or know how to handle like I'm a you know, bisexual who leans towards girls Like I don't know what that is, but you're enacting this behavior and then on top of the fact of like this family stuff. So I was my mom who was doing her very best, really really really, we had gotten into some sort of thing, and at night I would get so terrified. I would

just get these night tares every single night. And this is the part of this story where you realize that Kirsten has a landline, and you're like, I thought, has who has a landline? Like is Kirsten a ghost? Because why would there be a landline? And also why doesn't she turn it off? Because she's in a little pod of thing and she can't reach. So it's done okay anyway, So I.

couldn't handle it. So I would get these night terrors, and my sister wasn't at home this one particular night, and I hated being in my room by myself, both because of what I would do with my own imagination and because of what would actually happened like, And so me and my sister would we would we would try to do haunted houses in the house and in our bedroom because for entertainment, because we didn't really have anything.

So you just play like Night on Bald Mountain on repeat from Fantasia and then like try to build like sheet forts and stuff and yeah, but like and that's about as scary as I could go. So we would do spooky things in the very room in which I slept, but not super spooky, because again I get freaked out. But when I would go to bed and I would have these night terrors and by night tairs and me and I just wouldn't sleep all night. Uh that were

well founded, But uh, what are you gonna do? I would hear this tapping on my uh, on the window, and the window of my bedroom was at the very front of our house. We lived in this dilapidated house that was like built in the probably like the forties, and it was kind of like a craftsman So it had these big old paned windows on the front. And so my bedroom was there was this window, and I would hear this tapping.

got beat up. And you're not really friends, but you're just kind of like you stay together in a pod as often as possible. Totally, and and now my garage is making a noise. Okay, I'm back. So so I would have these weird things happen in real life because I was negotiating a lot of stuff and hormones and school and all this. So I would hear things in my head I was full bananas in seventh grade. And I can call myself that because it's me, so I'm

allowed to call myself bananas. And like I would count, I was doing a lot of like I've got to count to seven every time I do this, and I was I just all kinds of things that I'm not gonna bore you with. But when you're hearing tapping on the window and you're already doing all this other weird stuff, and you're doing all this weird stuff because again, no one's like, oh, this kid is all this other stressful

things happened to kids all the time. Primary caregivers are figuring out their lives and how to manage stress, and then you have these children that they've decided to have that are literally getting bathed in this wash of the way that their parents have been taught to handle stress. And my parents weren't good at that, especially my dad, and and so I was really weird. So I'd hear this tapping noise, and everyone was always everything was my imagination,

So everything I saw was my imagine. It was always just Kisen's histrionic and Kiersen's whatever. And this one night, my mom said, like she just got like fed up with me being afraid because I would kind of tiptoe

and in. It was my bedtime, and I'd keep kind of going in too, like try to sleep on the on the floor in the hallway and by her by her bed bedroom, and my sister wasn't there, my dad wasn't there, and she was like good and she'd like yelled at me, and I get back into bed because I had already gotten out twice because of this tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap, and then I went back in and then i'd go back in my bedroom and it's now it's tapping like consistently,

and I'm like, I got I'm gonna I can't. I can't go back into her room because if I do, I'm going to like lose you know, my you know, we had we had hit the like you lose you know, two weeks of phone privileges and you you can't we had we'd hit a consequence was gonna happen if I did it again kind of situation. And this tapping just starts going, going, going, and my head is by the window and I can feel the window like moving, and all of a sudden I just like closed my eyes

and I'm like, I'm just going to ignore it. It's my imagination. And the second I say it's my imagination, it's like someone took their fist and hit the window and it's like boom boom, like right in my ear. And I jump out of bed and I run down the hallway and I tell my mom and I and I lose everything, but at that moment, I don't care, like do it do it? I'm not And uh to the point that my mom believed me enough. She was like,

you're in so much trouble. You lost all this. I was still in trouble, but she very angrily and it's my mom is lovely and at the time going through so much. You know, it's hard being a single not single mom, and you got this narcissist guy. So I want to give her a lot of compassion and just say, like she was in a state, but you know, she

doing the best. I remember her angrily taking these two giant, you know pans, like these old Italian you know, cast iron things, and like banging them together and outside and there was nothing out there. There was nothing out there.

was thinking, if that makes sense. It's like I would finally calm down and then it would be like I would be like oh, and then it would kind of stop, but and then it faded out because it used to happen. But the only one time did the big bang thing happen with the with what sounded like a fist. Now that was in seventh grade.

with life and stuff like that. So flash forward to, you know, we move out of Porterville, I go to I put myself into therapy at fourteen, I start threatening emancipation and stuff like that, just to try to create space between me and my father, like all this, all this stuff. Right. We once we moved to Orange County, I decided I want to be an actor, but I know I'm not going to be able to do it for a living, right, blah blah blah. So I just get a day job and I just do theater, you know, forever.

I get fancy day job, I get criminal minds, I start being able to do things. At the same time. She has a landline. I don't know why. It's raining, and I'm embarrassed.

I've done multiple times in uh here in LA. I took it to Alabama because I wanted to see if it would I took it to Alabama after Trump became president because it's all about how we create the world outside of us through the world inside of us, and I thought, will this resonate in a part of the country that is different than here? And so I took it all over these different places. And it's spooky. It's

kind of spooky. It's about my growing up, and it's about negative self talk and how I kind of created, how I was co creating, and about time happening at the same time. It's about all these different things. And speaking of spooky things, uh this spooky spooky writer Neil gaman H actually said that this play, my play, is his favorite one person show. So it's it's just that spooky. And I took it to Edinburgh and all this stuff.

So about two years ago, I thought, you know what, wouldn't it be cool if I took it to Porterville. There's a theater there called the Barn Theater, and wouldn't it be neat if I if I took it there?

So I asked a bunch of my friends. I was like, I want to film this, and I hired like three or four of my friends that didn't have a job right then, but I knew we're good at certain things, like Okay, that friend is really good at camera work, and that guy really so we all got to you know, we all caravaned to Porterville and I'm gonna do this show mess and we're gonna do it the Barn Theater.

And the Barn Theater is legitimately an old barn that has been there forever that they've just sort of added things onto and made it into a theater, and it has some notable people that have acted on it, including me and Alice from the Brady Bunch.

They treat you totally differently and go into the lobby with my you know friends, and people are taking me across the room and like, oh, look, there's your dad. They have a picture of my dad because my dad was a an opera singer and stuff and did community theater there. So there's a picture of my dad in the lobby playing Nankey Pooh in the Mercado, which is just as racist as you can imagine because it's a white man trying to not look like a white man.

It's very disturbing. And at the time we were there, if they were doing the musical Mulan and it was very also disturbing. So like in Me and my Friends show, we're like this band of weirdos, like in the in the best way, but so we So we show up and I'm doing the show. I'm gonna do it for three days there. And it's so hot in Porterville, like because it's the summertime. They have a swamp cooler on

the stage. It's so oppressively hot, and there is a green room in the back and they said, oh, you haven't been here in a long time, but you remember the green room, and I had never really been. One time, when I was in seventh grade, I was in You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, and I was the girl with the naturally curly hair, and i'd been there for a second. But I don't totally remember, but apparently I could be. It sounds so bizarre, but I think that

this is true. There was a restaurant in Porterville that was like old, old, old restaurant, and they moved it. They picked it up, and they drove it to the Barn Theater and they attached it to the Barn Theater and that became the Barn Theater Green Room. And so it's like a it's like a building. It's not a big building. It's a room attached to the rest of the theater. It's kind of hard to explain unless you

we're actually there seeing it. But so we're doing the show, but everybody, we always go into this room all the time because it's so hot while we're there. Like I said, it was a couple of years ago, it's freezing cold in this room. This room is never not freezing cold. It's like the air conditioner only works in this one place, and it works so good in there that you almost

want to put on a sweater. And so we're there one night and I'm showing my friends like, this is where I'm from, and we go get a hamburger and while we're I get a vegetarian hamburger, and while we're eating it, the guy who works there goes, hey, I heard you lived over there by any you know, Mountain View. And I was like yeah, and he's like, whoa, you

grew up rough And I felt so validated. And so the last day we're there, my friend Stacy, who's stage managing it, is there, and my friend Derett who's doing the camera, and my other friend Steven, who's running the other camera. And I'm doing two shows that day, so I've already done one and I love taking like a ten minute nap. I'm like, I'm amazing at these. It's

like a robot power down and I'm out. So I'm sitting in this lazy boy in this green room looks exactly like every community theater green room you've ever seen. And I've done a lot of theater in community, but you know what I mean. It's got like three random chairs. Each one has a story, you know, from someone's house, and then they've tried to you know, they have they've succeeded in making like a kind of like a dressing room table with the you know, the Marquee lights around it.

And and I am going to take a nap. And there's a light switch to this room and it's really tricky, and it's tricky you got to figure out how to turn it off because you got to push it in and turn it off. And we we turn it off when we do the show. So I've turned it on and off a couple of times, you know, since I've been there. And we're only there for a few days. So I'm taking my little ten minute nap and I'm kind of laying there and everybody's kind of wandering around

getting ready for the show. And I'm going to take a nap, and I pull up the thing. Oh in the night before, I was gonna say this. The night before, the people who were running the theater. We all go walking around and we walk by the Zalad House. And when we walk by the Szalad House, which is that old house I used to look out and I was a kid, and it's completely pitch dark, and the girl says, she's like, you don't even want to look in the windows at night because it's so haunted. I was like really,

and she's like the whole town is haunted. It was like it is hot, like so like, yeah, huh. And then when we were at the theater, I had also forgotten this to tell you, it said, and I did not witness this, but one of the women who worked there had said, Oh, I can't tell you more than once. People will come to me after intermission and say there is someone behind me and they're moving around and they're doing all this stuff. And she's like, and there's no

one there. And it's always in the same parts of the theater. And she had mentioned that too, and I was like, huh. And the back of this, the backstage of the Barn theater is so cavernous. It's an old barn. It's huge. I don't know how to again explain it unless you were there. And I before shows, I would wander around. I only did like four shows, but I would wander around and be like, if there's a ghost back here, I'm totally cool, but could you just be

cool with me? Like I am trying to be very respectful, and I brought all my bells and whistles. I was like Polo santoing that bitch.

heavy memories. It's almost like I wouldn't be surprised if past versions of Kirsten would show up in places to haunt me for being a dick to them at that time or something like. I wouldn't be surprised. So I'm I'm taking this.

and even then with night hairrors. And by this time two years ago, I was at a place in my life where I can sleep, like I feel relatively safe enough and I was all And by the way, I don't want anyone to think this is just a side note. I don't want anyone to who's listening to this to be like, oh, Keirrison's had it. So if you're thinking this, Kiston's had it so bad, I didn't have it that bad. And I feel like crap too. You don't know how bad I did or didn't have it, and you know,

I just have it. I have a very sensitive system, and you know, we all have our bag of rocks and things happened to us, and I am always very sensitive about like saying stuff because I don't want anyone to ever think that, like just because something just because someone's had like trauma, it doesn't mean that like we should like everybody has it, like, don't specialize it. Am I making sense?

alchemized into beautiful things. So anyway, here I am laying on this thing like we're reveling in this beauty of like oh my gosh, I'm laying on this on this chair in this place that used to scare me, and everybody's okay, and like look at me, Like I got to come back here and make some theater. Like my friends are here and I can hear my friends moving around.

Everybody's kind of getting ready, and and there was like gonna be like a lunch break or something, so they were all kind of like heading out, and I hear I know that there's three people in the room. So I hear one person leave, and I hear and then I hear Darret talking, and I hear Darett leave, and then I hear it and then it's silent, and so I'm just in the room by myself, and about two minutes goes by, and I'm like all cuddled up. I'm very aware. I can hear the air conditioner. It's cold.

I was awake, I was wide awake for this. My eyes were closed, but I was wide awake and knew who was in the room and who was not in the room, and understand I understand passage of time and all of that. So that's why this is like so clearly real. I remember being like the lights on, and I've kind of moving my head around and try to take my hair and put my hair over my eye

and create a hair face mask. And so I'm kind of getting snuggled up on the couch and I'm making this move and as I make this move, I hear the switch do that little weird like clicky thing that you have to do to make it turn off, and then the lights turn off. Stacy the stage manager came in and turned the lights off, and I thought that was super great because, you know, me as the performing artist who had actually p the fucks the show right

before that. In the afternoon, got heat stroke and had to go to the emergency room, which I used to do almost every summer in Porterville. Is get heat stroke just for standing and not emergency room, like you know, like you know, we have to go to urgent care. Urgent care. So I had to go get urgent care and get like gator aide and take advil. So I

was tired, you know whatever. So I'm all bundled up, taking my little nap, and you know, my little period of time goes by, and I opened my eyes and I the lights were off, and I, you know, go back over do the little difficult, you know thing that I've kind of figured out to turn the light back on. And now I'm getting ready. I have about forty five moments for the show. I'm getting ready and whatever I see Stacy, I'm like, I saw what you did there,

Thanks for turning off the light. And she goes, huh, And I said, you turn the light off in the in the thing? She said into the line, No, you did because Darren and Stephen left and you must have come back in a couple of minutes after, because no, I haven't been in there. No you no, you turn the light off. She's like no, because I went in

my car and she had like a whole thing. So now I'm like, no, you no, because and it was so obvious that there was no one in the room with me and that the lights had turned off that like it was it was impossible. It was like impossible. So then I'm going around to everybody, like, Darren, you came back in. What are you talking about? You came back into the room just now you came back in.

I took a nap and you turned the light off? No, Steven, did you going around to everybody, and then I tell the woman in the lobby, I'm like, did anybody go back there? And they're like no, we've made sure no one's gone back there, blah blah blah, because then they thought that I was being like Prima Donna actress, like does somebody? I was like, no, it's just the light turned off. And then when I said the light turned off, They're like, oh yeah.

it's important that there's the light turned itself off. I don't know how it happened, but you're talking to the girl who had been walking around for two days, going okay, if you're a ghost, you can come, but be participate, like be cool, like yeah. And then when that happened, for you know, once I realized like, oh that really happened. And I don't again, I don't care if it happened because a very strong wind that was just happening in the area where that light switch was pushed the light

switched down. I don't care. That's not what happened. But I what I love is that I was conscious of, Okay, whatever's here that I can feel you can be here, just participate with us and don't scare me, because I

don't want to be scared. And I do feel like that is something if you, even if you think you believe in stuff like this, like I do think it's important to like communicate and be like, please, don't be a dick to me, like because sometimes when you're when you're translating through just your consciousness, you think you're saying I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid of but like I think that maybe they're picking up I'm like, oh you want to be afraid? Oh watch this?

that really was what happened. Like if you put me on a polygraph test and it doesn't again, it doesn't sound like much like the light turned off. But it was a big deal to me. That's about as strong of a ghost story as I can I can do. And I feel like I I transmuted the ghost experience I had as a child into one where I sort of reflected back to it how I wanted to be treated. See, you have to tell ghost how you demand to be treated, not just humans.

all over the country and read short stories. So I've been to old theaters all over the country and you can feel it and it is you know, I mean, that's where I'm gonna haunt. For fuck's sake, if I'm I'm going to go to all the theaters.

Like I do that too, so I get it. But no, you definitely can.

And it had one old refrigerator in it and if you opened it there was just a giant cow's head that was decaying and oh god, ever, and you know that's when you haunt yourself. That's just self haunting.

It's definitely a different sounding voice.

Instagram at roz Hernandez. Please give this show five stars on Apple Podcasts, and I would love to hear your ghost stories either in a review a five star review on Apple Podcasts. You could also just leave a nice review or not say anything. Just give us five stars.

I'll take it. Sure, why not? Also, if you want to be on a listener episode, send me an email at ghosted by Raz at gmail dot com and you can put Indie subject line, listener episode and give me a couple of little details about the kinds of ghost stories that you might want to tell and we can maybe work something out. You also have a Facebook group

called Ghosted by Roz Dresfales. I have merged that you can find in the link in my Instagram bio, and please be subscribed to this show because I will be back here next week with one of my favorite TV psychics slash occult experts. I have got Michelle Belange, who is so fucking rad. We had a great now that conversation will be a two parter there. We talked for

a minute and it was so cool and Michelle. If you don't know Michelle, you can see her on Portals to Hell, one of my favorites on Travel Channel and Discovery Plus. And also you could see Michelle on Paranormal Stage. She's done. She's an a handful of paranormal TV shows, but just a wealth of knowledge and we talk about demons and psychic abilities and all kinds of things. So tune in for that next week and the week after that.

I love you all, both living and dead. But if I didn't ask you to haunt me, don't haunt me.