Jackie Beat and the Ghosts of Hollywood Blondes

What's that at the foot of my bed. It's spooky and jooky. I'm really sure it's dead. It's coming this way.

Wait a minute, I'm ghosted.

Ims nandas.

Please Hey boo, it's me Rose and welcome to Ghosted by ros Hernandez, the podcast where I talk to people that I like about the baron normal. Oh.

One of my.

Dearest is on the show, the legendary Jackie beat. If you don't know who that is, look her up. She's uh, she's one of a kind, that's for sure, legendary drag queen. She's been doing it longer than I've been alive, and she's very good at it, and she's very funny. We have a good time. I think you'll enjoy it. Hey, let me read you a ghost story because just a warning, you ain't gonna get any more of those out of Jackie.

Wig, Benny White adjacent Benny White adjacent, like she got caught in a rainstorm.

Yeah, you sort of are giving that with with a puss zuzu shirt on a zuzu.

Let me tell you. When I was driving here, you know, I had the air conditioning on and it was a little chili. So I was setting it and when I said it, I can't help it. Think of the year movies come out. I set it to seventy three, which makes me think of nineteen seventy three, which of course is the year The Exorcist came out.

Oh my god, it was meant to be.

It was meant to be.

It was pasusu, pazuzu. That's from the Heretic.

Oh my god, I love the Sertic.

Yeah, the second one. See now that one. We just recently covered the Exorcist curse. You know, the alleged curse.

Oh, the curse the movie made you know, fifty years ago. Everyone in it is dead. This is crazy.

Well, but a lot of them died, like when they were filming and like around then. But it does seem like the publicist and freakin' William freaking was like, let's tell people that you know, it was cursed.

I feel like maybe William was freaking out about the possibility of the movie not doing well at the box office.

I love that his last name is freakin' freaking well fed Ken.

When I first moved to Los Angeles and I was working at Sunset Gower Studios at Sunset and Gower, God, they really named that studio. They come up with that anyway, somebody I was working with was like, oh, yeah, Bill Friedkin always used to Billy Friedkin used to say, and I'd be like, Billy Friedkin. She's like, that's what people call him.

I thought it was just so like you know, the freed can I know, Well, you're here because.

You somebody canceled.

No, you're here because you told me you have an incredible ghost story.

I do.

I know you think that's a setup because this is my third time on the show, and we actually on the phone the other day because we are friends, ladies and gentlemen, full disclosure, friends in italics, friends in quotes. It's Hollywood. I told you that, you know, I don't have any ghost stories left. Well, I lied. I've been holding onto the best. Are you serious, the major ghost story that happened maybe a year ago. What?

Yes, Okay, this is baffling to me. First of all, let's recap. We have heard the story now, Jackie's been on twice now over the years.

We heard.

My favorite one was you told the first time you were on. You were on with Sherry years ago, and you told the story of the time that Satan herself visited you after you went through a breakup. Yes, that story is so good.

Tried to seduce me the most gorgeous blueprint of my lust. I probably used that phrase when I told it the first time. Stunning, right out of gay porn, Satan.

And because you were sad, you painted all your walls black. Yes, And then you woke up in the middle of the night and there was this hooved, cloven hoofs cloven hooved, clovened mmm.

But he was hot, he was fine, he was fine, girl, and don't do it.

And he was looking at you like, are we gonna do it?

It was kind of telepathically, are we going to do this?

And I said no, that would have been your opportunity to become an A List superstar.

And now I'm here talking to you for the third time. Z List.

You should have said yes, I know, but you did it.

No. I literally closed my eyes and said no, no, no, no no, and then I opened my eyes and the cloven hoofs were gone.

That's such a good story.

Okay.

We also heard the time you had to share dream with your mother, which was real good. We've heard the time you saw UFO as a kid. Yes, a gay pride again. Oh yeah, Rainbow We literally.

Had rainbow like tail to it or like lights. It was crazy.

What else have we heard from you? Some other bullshit you have made up?

Out when I was staying at a hotel in San Francisco and I asked my mom for a sign and the TV popped on.

Yes, that was the Vertigo Hotel, I believe.

Yes, they filmed a scene and it wasn't called that at the time, but they somebody bought it and then turned it into a boutique hotel and decided to cash in on the fact that Vertigo had been filmed there.

And then I also remember one time you telling a story about when you were on tour with Dita Bontie.

Oh yes, and there was a oh and also there was a ghost. I'm just kidding.

DTA love you, babe, but you said that it was a haunted hotel in Australia and everybody there.

Oh girl. We drove up and I was like, this literally is right out of the shining. I was like getting such a vibe and the look of it. Everything was just weird. We were all texting on a group WhatsApp and I said I was taking a bath and the lights went off, and then somebody said I was sitting here and my closet door opened and closed, and then everybody was chiming in, Oh my god, this just happened. And Dita was like, stop it. Now, I need a good night's sleep. Yeah.

I can't hear that stuff if I have to sleep there.

So now, what girl, what did they makeup? I've been saving it. I was doing a show where I think it might have been like somewhere in Indiana, which is already like okay, this is scary, you know, and the venue was old and kind of strange and just had the vibe. You could kind of feel it in the air. But I have to say I didn't get enough sleep. I felt a little off. Sometimes that is the best show because you're not overthinking everything and you're a little loopy.

That's why people get drunk. You and I don't drink. No, but that's why people drink a bunch before they perform, because it's similar to that state.

I feel right, But I just this was not going in that direction, like, oh, the not sleeping is making for a good show. I felt very off. The audience just felt very low energy, and I remember near the end of the show. This was not just like one ghost. This was like several because when the show ended, I distinctly heard boo. The audience was booing because it was a bad show. Get it wasn't a ghost at all. Ros come on, used to be fun, Roz Jackie, I know dad jokes from Grandma.

This is like when you lie in your resume. Yeah, you've lied on your resume to get on this podcast.

Special skills, Yeah, telling jokes, horseback riding.

I thought you had a ghost story ice skating. It's okay, you don't need one because I did some preparation.

H Was it that problem you were telling me about.

I told you that in confidence. Oh, I'm very confident about the problem.

I'm confident it'll never go away from the way you described it.

This is an episode, yes, about the ghosts of Hollywood blondes.

Hence the wig I'm wearing.

I did tell you bring blonde hair.

You did? You said, are you going to do drag? I said, are you paying me? You said no. I screamed no. I slammed down the phone, And here we are.

We are paying you very handsomely.

I know, in non vegan protein bars in the green room. Get it? Why did you say any instead of Ernie?

So Jackie loves to say something shady and then briskly change the subject by going any way. And then I one time said that if you were a drag king, your drag name would be Ernie Way.

And that's why you are at the top of your game, lady.

And that's why they give me the big bucks.

And all those non vegan protein bars.

Okay, let's talk about some Hollywood bloonde.

Come on, let's do it.

Let's do it.

Why not?

Okay, I'm curious. Maybe you know some maybe you know about some of these stories. You famously do work a lot with the Hollywood blonde Cherry Bene, I do, I do, but these we're getting even than Cherry Vine. We're gonna talk about Gene Harlowe.

I wasn't alive at the time. I assume you were going to make a joke regarding that. Now now, Jean Harlowe, Uh huh, oh, what an ethereal beauty? I mean, just like a glow, a golden glow about her.

I'll be honest with you. That's not someone whose work I know.

A lot of me either. I'm just talking about do people like do I know?

I feel like, is she known for movies?

I mean, you know, I'm old. You know that I am a platinum gay, and I usually know all that stuff. Obviously, I know of Jean Harlowe and I can picture her. And what I just described is like, you know, photos I've seen of her, but I can't really remember, you know, any movies, which is I feel bad. We're probably gonna get haunted by her right now, I know. I mean there's other jeans, Mom jeans, Mom jeans, skinny jeans, good jeans. Oh, I was blessed with as you can see, I was blessed with good jeans.

But Jean Harlow Gene Hackman.

Don't start. I almost set the air conditioner to seventy two, which is beside adventure. Gene Hackman played the hip turtleneck wearing priest or minister on the ship who was having a little question of faith, especially when the ship turned over. You know, that'll do it.

That'll do it, that'll do it, okay, So Jean Harlow, Yes, this is something that I have heard about this story many times over the years, because there's like a Manson connection, So Jean Harlow. Many people say that the house that she lived in was cursed. It's known as the Harlow burn House because she was married to MGM producer Paul Byrne in the late twenties and thirties and the two

They say that whole area is Manson territory exactly.

Well, okay, So Paul Burne shot himself in the hud at least that's what the official police report. Yes, many speculate it was murder. Also, apparently two other people died in their swimming pool.

Let me ask you a quick question. Yeah, did what was Paul Byrne? He was a director or something.

He was a producer.

Okay, so he's MGM, a successful producer at MGM. Did you say he was married to Jean Harlowe. I don't think that's the I mean she was gorgeous, Like, why are you gonna? Why are you gonna unlive yourself? Why?

People in Hollywood, you know, never have problems.

Well, I mean that's true, but who knows. But I'm just saying men back then had a lot of power, and if he had a lot of money, let's say that the relationship wasn't great, he could just dump her for, you know, a newer model. So it just seemed strange that he I think it was murder.

I need jack Columbo on the case.

I get it. That was Jackie plus Colombo the young Please google Columbu.

I love Colombo. Okay, So so here's the Manson connection.

Okay, Jay C.

Bring the house.

Famed hairstylist, famed hairstylists to the male stars.

That's always an interesting point.

Well, he also did Sharon Tate's hair, right, He also did Sharon Tate for the brief period. Yes, and he was.

He was known for doing men's hair. He like, really was revolution the men's.

Fidel says soon of men.

Right. Yes, So he bought the house in nineteen sixty three and he lived there for a few years with Sharon Tate when the two of them dated, And the story goes, and this is all stuff I got off of Haunted houses dot com.

Thanks for the shout out.

So the story goes that one night Sharon Tate was staying there alone. She was trying to sleep. She turned the lights on because she kept hearing scary noises. Then a little man quote scuttled into the room, ignoring her, looking for something. She recognized him as Paul Byrne. She ran out of the room and saw an entity on the stairs, tied to the post with its throat slashed. She ran to the bar in the house to get herself a drink. She got an urge to start ripping

Do you know why I love that story? It is so specific and so weird, and like, if you were gonna make up a story, girl, that would not be it. No, do you know what I mean? No? I know it has everything. Sharon Tate, scuttling, scuttling, I need a drink, a mediamon, and then like the destroying of wallpaper. Yeah, it's scary.

It's scary.

Let's try to keep it up beat.

We're not putting anything up beat.

It's not that kind of a podcast, dear.

Also, I should mention, while we're on the Sharon Tate, there is that place that I have been before, the Omen House. Yes, the house that a man owns next to the Manson murder home location that he says is haunted by Sharon Tate. And one time I did go to Sharon Tate's birthday party there, and as I was leaving, he said, Sharon's telling me I need to flip over the patties and he went out to the patio because the burgers were burning.

Well, first of all, I appreciate that Sharon would go to the trouble of haunting the next door neighbor.

No, not even next door a couple.

Yeah, And I love that She's like, girl, do not overcook that meat.

Do not overcook the meat. Okay. So Jean Harlow's second house in Westwood, she lived in that one for four years. So I guess when she married Paul Byrne, her parents lived in this house. But apparently she haunts this house. So this Westwood one, there was a family that moved in in nineteen seventy. The day before moving in the woman of the family went upstairs and her dogs were barking. No, those seventy shoes. They weren't comfortable, nor her actual dogs

About it was what did they have for dinner? So stupid?

Well, the kitchen lights would go on and off. They heard a woman sobbing in their living room. There were cold spots and winds. Okay, I'm like, that's good from academy. Oh my god, that's great. The husband and wife both had a dream of the bathroom overflowing with water and bubbles.

I didn't even even I think this is like new homeowner nightmares.

Well, listen to this. They they both had this dream that they're taking a bath. It's overflowing with water and bubbles, and then a hand reaches out to the nearby light switch and gets electrocuted, and then they both like wake up. So they call an electrician, who was amazed by how out of date the light switch by the bathtub was, and they replaced it because they're like this, this is

Well, I also appreciate that it had a good ending, like it was a warning. Yeah, oh thank god we called the electrician. Yeah, because you usually think of like, you know, having the same dream or a ghost story as something negative, but it was like, hey, this electricity is old. Call an electrician immediately.

You're gonna get zap honey.

Right.

So another Hollywood blonde that we of course have to talk about is Maryland. Now you put a D on the end Maryland. Yes, you're right, I did. Maryland. Yeah, I say Maryland because that's a state. Yes, it is Maryland. Maryland Monroe, Marilynn Okay, so Marylyn Montre, Montro, Maryland Mondrou she is the most booked ghost in the afterlife. She has never stopped working. Oh she is everywhere.

Booked and blessed.

So apparently the home that she died and people see her wandering the gardens and they hear whispering in their ears. There's this girl who's a Marilyn impersonator named Jasmine Chiswell, and I think we covered her a couple of years ago because she was like kind of getting publicity. Okay, so this woman, she's a Maryland impersonator, like she like fully like lives her life looking like Marilyn Monroe. Happy birthday, Yes to you. She moved into that house, Oh of

Where did she get the money? Like this is someone I've never even heard of, and buying Marilyn Monroe's the place where she died. That's expensive.

I didn't ask, but I believe she wasn't alone. So she made videos saying that people would feel hugged from nobody and they would hear voices and footsteps, so it must be Marilyn.

Give me a mary lug. How Maryland, I'm trying to get haunted today. Why not Marilyn will show up like it's not Maryland. Great.

I would love that She'll just hug you.

Because she I'm weird.

That's my Maryland.

Oh my god, that's so bad.

Well I'm not a Marilyn Monroe impersonator.

Neither am I. But I can still do it.

No, you can't.

I tried.

That was Varla Jeane Merman.

Who I've been working with lately.

I'm Merri moua. That's good. That's what she sounds like. Give me something to say with Marilyn Monroe knows it.

Give a girl a break. I haven't had solid food in three days.

Get a kid a break.

Food. Can I tell you that story?

No?

Okay, what is it? Years ago? We used to go to Rage every night. We even got an apartment up the street from Rage so we could walk there. The gay nightclub that is no longer.

Now it's called Beeches Trapicana.

It was called Heart for a brief period. I think that was a shameless money grab that failed spectacularly. Anyway, we used to go all the time. This is in the like eighties and after that, we would go to a restaurant called The Greenery and you know, have a bite to eat. And there was this older, sweaty, really bad Marilyn Monroe drag queen and it was packed and the waiter was walking by and she was trying to flag him down, and she would look at us like ah,

She just like live like that all the time.

I have no idea, but you know what it's like. The makeup was all clammy and it was bad, smelling like clams. It does not equal clammy. No, it was kind of like out of a movie, you know, like, oh my god, it's like a scene out of After Hours.

That's what I would imagine. You come to Los Angeles, you see someone dressed like a Marilyn Monroe impersonator trying to get flapjacks. That feels very la in a movie.

Also, you know she ate from around here flapjacks. We don't call them flapjacks on the West coast. That person was from Salina, Kansas.

Oh interesting, Yeah, I guess it's pank. I don't eat like that.

Yeah, okay, marylynd CA.

Here's where else Marilyn is. She's also at the Rosabelt Hotel of course. Of course, of course she poses on the diving board because that's where she did a toothpaste ad, which was her first ever print ad. So apparently now she's still there doing the toothpaste ad. People see her. She would often stay in a cabana room which is still there, and they're like, ooh, it's the Maryland Suite.

Well, now there's no fair Sherry Vine was having her house fumigated and had to stay for a few days. Sad looking blonde, Well.

There's no no word if the maid was a sad looking blonde woman herself, because I mean, if it's a mirror and you're Katie Guys.

I would also like to think that maybe the manager was like, uh, why are there streaks all over this mirror? The ghost? Oh, you just blame everything on the ghost. Well.

Also, it's like the Hollywood Roosevelt had a publicist in the nineties that was into the ghost thing. Because I feel like growing up being into Los Angeles and being into ghost stuff, it was always the Hollywood Roosevelt like, and it was always the mirror and the Marilyn Monroe and all of that. They also say, what's his name? Haunts it?

Oh? I was trying to think of something funny.

What's his name?

I actually don't actor. Actor? That really narrows it down.

Thank you, fifties sixties he was gay.

But tab hunter, no.

Rockhead, close warmer, suddenly last summer.

Oh Montgomery Cliff, Montgomery.

Cliff, he plays as his trombone or his trumpet.

Oh, I bet he plays the trombone. Probably had a private suite.

You play that trombone extra roasty.

You do it better than me. That is so good people don't even know.

Okay, So also let's see here, can I.

Say one thing about Montgomery Cliff please? He was so gorgeous. And then if you watch Suddenly Last Summer, which have you seen it, it is so bonkers and I love it so much. But this was after his car accident, so he had facial reconstruction, and he knows he doesn't look like his old beautiful self. So the entire movie has like he's always apologizing with his eyes, like I know, I'm so I don't look like the old me.

His grandson some kids, no, nephew, I don't know. One of his descendants made a documentary a couple of years ago about him, using like his actual like recordings of him speaking and stuff, and he like kind of clears up a lot of stuff about him. It's really interesting because I think a lot of people thought that he was like really miserable and whatever, but he like wasn't.

Well, you know, there is this like misconception that gay people were so miserable back in the day, and there's been a few really amazing documentaries. Don't ask for any of their names. Yeah, but that are like now the complete opposite. We had a whole community and everybody was

No, that's good. I think they should know. They should also know that Marilyn Monroe's also with the Santa Monica Pear. What now, that's just some tourists. Shit, there's no way she's at the stand. It says that they see her sitting on a bench about the hippodrome.

Excuse me. Okay, I know she was a size fourteen, but that is old school body shaming. Let me tell you something. Somebody who worked there was like, attendance is down. Yeah. I have an idea, yeah, totally, the ghost of Maryland Monroe.

It's not a bad idea.

Oh my god, I need to do that for my next show.

Yeah, be like a ghost.

Will appear Marilyn Marylynd haunts my Yeah, why not?

Also they say the Westwood Memory Real Cemetery where she's born or sorry, where she's Perry, where she's buried. People see a pink colored mist.

That sounds more like Jane Mansfield.

Well, she liked pink too, I guess. And she turns into a mist there. I don't know. I don't know why that would happen, but whatever. They also see her at the Knickerbacker in Hollywood, Knickerbocker Hotel. She hangs out at the bar there, you know, the rooftop that's where the seances.

Wini's wife Who's.

Wife used to do seances to contact him.

I know she has a name, and I hate saying she's gonna haunt us, Harrietta. Was it really no, my God to do what I fell for it? Yeah, Harrietta, I know that their.

Secret Her name was Jeanie Genie.

Oh dear, No. You know there's a Kate Bush song and it's called Houdini and it's all about trying. They said, when I die, we will have a secret phrase.

Apparently he never did it.

And the phrase was Rosabell believe. I think it was what Rosa Bell believe, or maybe it was just I'll call you Rosa Bell. And anyway, it's in the Kate

Oh so you're gonna ruin us.

Spoiler alert.

We just talked about the Masked Magician. Do you remember that guy?

Uh? I know, the unknown comic.

No maskedician, look at me when you said that.

Not the unfunny comic. It's getting so listen.

We're not even done with Maryland's don't do It?

Shut Up? Can you tell him obsessed with her? Oh?

Yeah? A shout out shout out to Luscio's mousacre love her? Okay, so also Marilyn Monroe. They there's a mirror at the El Capitan Theater, which is right next door to the Hollywood Roosevelt. So this girl is just looking in mirrors left and right, right next door. And in twenty twenty two, you remember, there was that like kind of controversial Netflix movie called Blonde. Oh god it was I didn't I didn't watch it.

It was horrible.

But the actress Anna de Armas, she said that at the Venice Film Festival premiere the movie. She said that Maryland's ghost haunted the set. She said, quote, I think she was. She was happy. She would also throw things off the wall sometimes and get mad if she didn't like something.

Okay, so she's literally everywhere.

She's everywhere.

I mean, she's getting around more than when she was alive and she got around. That was slut shaming, and I apologize.

May West, Helly May West rules.

Oh my god, She's everything.

I love May West, So May West. According to a website called Bizarre Los Angeles, she haunts the Ravenswood apartments in Los Angeles. Do you know where that is? It's like mid Cities, It's like I feel like that's like Hancock Parky sort of area. She lived and died in the upper floors in nineteen eighty and she even allegedly told friends that as long as the building stands, she's gonna be there. Okay, oh, as long as the boulden style.

As long as the building stands, honey, that was better. That was like me doing Alaska doing. Let me just say one thing. I love that she said, as long as the building stands, because I mean, don't you know how hauntings work. You know, the building doesn't need to be there. They could, like, you know, tear it down and put up in Arby's. And she's like, do you really want to order that? Honey?

You want curl of Froz with that.

The seasoned?

Why did she talk like that? I'm happy to see people?

How many years later I know I'm.

Happy she did.

Yeah.

So here's an excerpt from her interview with an author John Coebel for his book called People Will Talk. She says, you know, sometimes I just lie down in a semi dark room and I see crowds, individuals coming in like a montage. What do I sound like?

She says?

Now, I'm a very normal, healthy person. I don't imagine things. So when I see things and hear voices. I know there's something that exists around us.

This is the worst Snatch Game episode ever. No, I love that she was kind of into the occult.

No, she was. She was very into psychics. So she says, over the years, I developed my psychic powers. Everything was a thought before it was created. This table, this vase, they were thoughts before we made them. But I really didn't get involved in ESP until I met Thomas Kelly in nineteen forty one. He was a famous Quaker mystic.

And do you know that Lady Bunny's parents are Quakers? No joke, I'm not even joking because you think I'm going to make a joke like that's why she looks like the Quaker oats guy out of drag or something. I'm not even kidding. But let me just say one thing. I actually got emotional when you read the part that said everything was a thought. This table, it's such a simple I'm not even kidding you. And how old I am, and I've never really thought of something that simple.

Well, that's part of why I like ugly things so much.

Is she just winked at me.

Is because like things that other people you conventionally would say are ugly. It's like that is someone's vision. It was someone's vision, and that to me sometimes I look at like an ugly piece of art or like I don't know, some old antique and I'm like someone thought that they that that was like beautiful they took the time to make. And I do think about that kind of stuff.

It's also subjective.

I mean there's peoplelely and I don't think that it is. I don't look at it that way at all.

I mean I used to joke, this is how old the joke is. If if Janice Joplin was on and thank god she's not a blonde, or she would be the subject you know part of today's podcast.

Didn't you stay in the room?

I think it was the room. I know I stayed there at the Highland Gardens, Yeah, that hotel. But here's my point, Like if she was on American Idol, they would be like, girl, run a comb through your hair, you're a bit pitchy, dog, lose twenty pounds, do you know what I mean? Like she's one of the most amazing iconic voices, just like we were talking about with may West, Like you know, anything that kind of strays from who cares about a perfect singing voice? Who cares?

That's why I like you.

Thank you, And people you know come up after the show and they're like, oh, my favorite part is when you totally fucked up, and I'm like, really, thanks a lot. But then I think about it and it's like we're craving that we want something real, real, not ai heh.

So she goes on to say that the forces for good and evil were coming in. I could hear psychic voices and see people all the time, and they kept me awake at night. If you told this to people about hearing voices, They think you were mad or something. Now I know I must have always had these voices telling me things. You see, they helped me several times when I was really in a problem and I didn't know how to get out of it, Like the court

Who was it?

I guess you're never gonna know.

Oh.

She went out to say that the spirit voice told her what to say in court, helping her to win the case.

Oh. Yeah.

After it was over, I wanted to know for myself what kind of person that voice belonged to. I asked the dictionary about it, and I opened it up when it said clergy, So I know it was a man from the clergy, you know, back in the eighteenth or nineteenth century. I think she could have just filled in the blanks. So I have this book. You know how I collect these things.

I'm just so sorry. Think about how scary it would be to be sued for one hundred thousand dollars back in the forties.

That's a lot of money.

Five million dollars or something.

Oh that's not then, but that would be a lot for you. Huh girl, I'm just kidding. Okay, So you know how I collect these old books. Yes, this is what I have called I Believe in Ghosts, And it's a celebrity book. And it says, as told and recounted by Danton Walker. What year is this? This is nineteen. I believe it's the sixties. Nineteen fifty six.

Oh my god, that's forty years before the sixties.

Oh my, guys, five years after you were born. So there is a chapter where she talks about her it's called may West's Spirit Friends. Oh, she's filled with them. So she was really into.

May West's spirit legal advisors.

Yes, there's also a story about Ida Lapino and burl Ives Okay, and Guthrie mclin tick and nol Coward. I've heard of that one.

You've heard of Noel Coward?

Yeah for cool?

That one cool?

But I don't know who Guthrie mcclinkle.

No, I don't know what it is.

Okay, should we do please?

I took an improv class, so just yes.

And I took an improv cluster in the pandemic with a really better connection, so I can do like half like I can.

You can only do yes.

No, I can ask for a suggestion from the audience.

Oh okay, and that's it. Well, here's the thing. Even if it cuts out, it's always going to be a gynecologist. Uh yeah, because the audience thinks they're being funny.

Jackie. Yes, I got a haunted doll for you, like physically now, Oh God, just act like you. Listen to this fucking podcast. Every single week we feature a haunted doll from eBay. It's time for the dolls are living? Okay, So I go to eBay dot com. I type in haunted doll. I search through hundreds of listings till I find one that is just right, this one. I've never found one more right for a guest ever. Jackie, you're

You got it?

Raz I did not make this up, Jackie speechless.

Well, it kind of looks like me after a date. The smeared lipstick. I don't have blue eyes, but I am bald.

I just so you know, Jackie, that's not a mirror that you're looking at. That's a screen. Uh oh uh oh, the blond wigs coming off.

Wait wait, hold on, where's my camera? Ready? Yeah?

Yeah, So what we're looking at here is a bald, feminine doll that does not have any eyebrows, smeared lipstick, blue eyes.

I do wear that color as eyeshadow her eyeballs. Yeah, but can we look at picture three. She's got a waste, so that kind of shoots it down. She's heightweight to proportion it.

Yeah, you would never. You would never wear that outfit either. That's she's very Victorian. Well she comes with a bio. Okay, it says the person selling this wrote I received her through a friend who collects vintage toys, someone who doesn't usually deal with spirit vessels, and they felt uneasy with her quote. She doesn't scare me, my friend admitted, But I feel like she's sad, like she doesn't belong with me.

I'm sorry. Of all the pictures, that is the creepiest just lighting.

Well, they did take a picture where they made the lighting spooky, which is very important when you're trying to sell these I think you need to make them look a little scary, it says. The moment I held Jackie's vessel, I understood her energy was dis subtle, but layered, carrying the weight of something deeply personal. She wasn't restless, she wasn't angry. She was just waiting for the right person, for someone who could understand. Jackie was young when she passed,

Wow, Yeah, I like the lgbt Q plus pandering part. Yeah, that's a lot.

I mean, yeah, she definitely is uh messed up. Well, she's like in a dress and she's sort of just based on her makeup and hair.

Can we she feels I imagine like if we bought her, what we might hear? A disembodied voice? Can I do an impersonation? Please? There's my vague there's mad ivy.

Oh that's how you think she would talk.

Yeah, and she's like somebody stole her wig right before like a major event or function. She has never been the same.

See, that's what's interesting about It's almost as if she did have a wig, because you know how usually with a doll. It comes out of your head.

There's no plug.

There are no plug.

She didn't go to turkey.

She didn't go to turkey.

That was the bird, not like some Middle Eastern I just did my turkey.

I can't even do a fucking turkey.

God, what is going on with you?

I am not known for my impressions.

That's why you are obsessed with celebrity impersonators. You really can't do it. Let's guess we're both vegans. We shouldn't be mockery. That is so bad.

That is bad. What is wrong with that poor turkey?

That's all right, But I'm good. I have other talents, yes, be jeweling boots and mm hmm.

Going to YouTube and finding ghost recordings.

It's time for EVP.

Or ev plase.

These actually creep me out, you know they do.

Fun fun. Well, these are two from a YouTube channel called the Space Coast Paranormal Society.

Okay, really rolls off the tongue.

I don't know where these locations are. Doesn't necessarily say, but they are two evp's, and I want you to guess what this ghost is saying.

I'm scared, Jackie.

Here's the first one.

Okay, do it again. Oh my gosh, it's very hard to hear. Are you in the dark?

Are you in the dark in? That's not what they believe. Did they think it was a your drama girl? Okay, B you want this to work? C you don't have to worry? Or D you said this wouldn't hurt.

It's either B or D because I thought it was are you in the dark and work and hurt? Sound more like that to me, So I really think that they are usual sometimes more innocuous. You want this to work?

Well, they think it was C you don't have to worry? Again? Oh yeah, now I hear it, Green Needle. I think it could be you don't have to work, like them being like, you don't have to work? What are your parents?

Do?

Have you had a husband? Like that's what it sounds like. Listen, you don't have to work. But they think it's you don't have to work.

Maybe it's the ghost like what are you doing here with this recording device? Don't don't you have to work?

I love ghosts, like throwing shade at ghosts. Hunters love that.

But do you know those things where you listen to it and whatever you're reading, like Green needle. You've never seen that one?

Oh, and it will say and those are so scary, they're so weird.

It just goes to show you that reality, like we really are in the matrix.

What you're talking about is like you see a video that will pop up in your algorithm or whatever, and it's like, whichever one you read, it will say out loud, that's.

What you will hear. Yes, yeah, yeah, there is.

I just remember green needle. Yeah, yeah, what is the other?

I don't even remember the others, but green needle is such a specific substance. The substance green needle. Okay, let's do this.

Here's another one. I don't know the location, but what is it saying?

Terrified? Oh my god? Okay, give me the choices.

Did they think it was a let's not say we did, okay, I know you do.

Well.

Did they think it was B stop I'm not here, which is a funny thing.

That's a movie title, A twenty four honey?

Do they think it was C it's that time a year or D. That's not my finger.

That's not my finger, that's what he said. That's not my finger. This is.

They believe it's base stop, I'm not here.

It literally sounds like that's not my finger.

Though listen, let's listen for stop I'm not here.

That sounds like there's a tail end like right now or something stuff I'm not here right now.

Or.

There's a little trail even on stop that's not my or that's not my finger? Can you you know what I mean, there's a little trail like there's another one or two syllables after everything. We think it's.

I think it's that's not my finger. But uh, it's hilarious that it said stop I'm not here, Like that's such a funny thing for a ghost, Like you're trying to contact a ghost and they're like, stop, I'm not here. I'm not home right now.

Oh it had an answering machine.

Yeah, that's funny to me.

Stop I'm not here is a really good title because it's just such a strange phrase. Stop I'm not here. Oh my god, I like it.

Well, we need to stop and you need to not be here because now the podcast is over.

That's called a callback, Ladies and gentlemen, even though usually there's more time in between.

It's a quick one, a quick yeah.

Yeah, Well I have had a wonderful time Hey, I've had.

A great time too. It's always nice to see it.

It's always nice to see you.

So what is going on? Where are you at? What do people need to know?

Well, I you know, you know this personally, I've been taking a bit of a break and just kind of like, you know, when you've done drag for thirty six years and now it's like such a drag race world and now it's almost a post drag race world. I don't even think drag race has the power it used to. And there's just so many you know, former contestants and everybody's just vying for work and beat bop boop doodle dooce.

Know how much you have an itch, yeah, which you do need to take care of.

That's not my finger, cool back, don't do it.

Yeah, So just kind of like to take a break.

I'm just not feeling desperate. But then there is a point where you're like, really that wig there is I tried to have fun with you. There's a theme, and some people are just like they won't even play with the theme, or I think it's great. No, I just I but you know, when you're not working, even though I have been writing, and that's like, you know, I'm sitting in bed in my underwear with my dogs in the laptop, and then I just like, oh my god, I just made like you know, kitching without having to

It's not good for a here like that mighty to be a capitalist, but like you need to work and receive something like it doesn't have to be money, but like some type of reward for if you have a passion you know to do it and.

To well you're thinking a lot more like I don't know esoterically even then. I I was just meant, when the money's not coming in, it's scary how quickly it goes down because you're still having to pay all those bills, and this is Los Angeles, and you know it's got to pay the mortgage and the this and the that and the car lease, and so you don't even think about it when you're just working constantly. But Sherry Vine

You're not flip flopping, No, you're not wearing flip flops.

Of course I'm wearing flip flops.

Oh okay, my feet hurt. All right, yeah, plug one more thing and then we gotta go.

If you need anyone to write anything for you, if you have a project that already exists and you just want it punched up with just a layer of jokes, a sprinkling of jokes and the Sprinkles cupcakes of jokes.

Yeah, so you know the best in the biz. Well, who's written for within your Joan Rivers?

Yes, within your budget. I wouldn't say I'm the best, but yeah, Joan Rivers and some other people, a lot of people. I've been fired by everyone in town. You know.

That's one thing I forgot to mention that you love me? Yes, of course I love you. How many people say that you and I are very similar people?

Oh yeah, you were telling you that the other night, And at first I was like.

What, Yeah, but we we're not. We are very similar in terms of interests. We both saw the movie Carry at a young age and it formed us. We both like kookie glasses and over the top.

We love artifice. We like camp. I always say one of my mantras is have the courage to be camp. Yeah, you know, like be on the red carpet dressed like a swan, have everybody wondering is she serious? Like have fun. Life is short. I'll never understand people who want less, less, culture less, you know, different, Like they get mad because somebody's speaking a different language. This is America. It's like, honey, I want to try every food as long as it's vegan.

Yeah, but we like colors, oh we do. We like colors, and we like flavor antiques. Oh, we love spooky things.

I'm a spooky antique. That's why you love me.

Yeah, and we like little dogs. Oh, little dogs are back for both of us.

That picture you sent me.

Of my little Chucky, Oh my god, we both have little white dogs.

Yes.

Anyway, Well I'm sorry that this will be the last time I see.

You because you're gonna hit it big.

No, I'm just I'm done. Oh it's been a jer it's been exhausting, and I think it's time we end this.

Oh okay works for me.

Yeah yeah, So we'll figure out a way to salvage this.

This was damn good. All right, it was, wasn't it.

That's not my finger? Yeah, sure. I love Jackie Feet. Isn't she something? She's something, that's for sure. Ah, thank you for listening. I will talk to you very soon. Tell everyone you know about this podcast please, and you know, see me on tour and stuff like that. Find me on Instagram, all of that. I love you all, both living and dead. But if I didn't ask you to haunt me, don't haunt me came back. This has been an exactly right production. Want to share your paranormal experience