What's that at the bed.
It's spooky.
Hey, Joky, I'm really sure it's dead. It's coming this way.
Wait a minute, I'm going.
I does man says, hey boo, it's me Roz.
Happy October.
I'm kicking it off this month with a comedian actor author, Arden Marine. She does it all, folks. She also has her own ghost stories and I love ARDA.
Marine.
I first fell in love with her on Mad TV Chelsea Lately. I mean, she's always on TV. Honey, she stays booked. She's so funny. We did a show together recently. We really hit it off, and I invited her on. She was down to join me. She's got some stories for you, so I say we just get into it. Check out my Patreon. You know where to find it in the description of this episode. Full length episodes every
week with just me and videos and all that good stuff. Anyway, here we go, ard and Marine on with the show. I'm joined by somebody that I've been a fan of for years. I am so honored that you took the time. You're one of the busiest gals and the bed. Arden Marine is here, girl.
I put on my new like I picked out in my jumpsuit, my daily jumpsuit. I picked out like a sexy I wanted to be. I went for Malibu cocaine in nineteen seventies, Goldie Hon.
Yes, it is very Goldie Hans.
I went for old stuff.
Pony.
Yeah, I went for Goldie Hon seventies, hanging out with like Wlarren Baby driving like a white Mercedes convertible, like with like a poodle in it. Yes, like coming from like the tennis club. This is what I dressed for you. I put on a hoop.
It's really cute. Thank you, Thank you for doing this.
I was delighted to be asked. I enjoy talking about ghosts and stuff like that. But I also just I met you and I adored you, and I was happy to come play with you.
See that's the best part of a podcast, is to like get someone to hang out with you.
And that's the thing, and then you get like and that's because meeting and befriending new people as an adult is vulnerable. You have to have a podcast. You have to have like an activity, which is the post, like do you want to come play Patty Cake with me?
Yeah?
You want to hang out with me? And you can also promote your process exactly.
Who cares exactly. It's like it's a way for me as an anxious person and enables me to get to know somebody with like a shared game.
Yeah, and especially like this show, we're talking about something pretty specific. Yeah, you know, but this is how I've always liked to meet people and get to know them. Is I've always been like, what is your ghost story? Where you add on? That's that's how you learn to know Maybe your people are.
May I ask your origin obsession with ghosts?
Is that it?
Your fans heard that a thousand times.
I mean they're probably a little bit bored by it.
But you know what a twenty second version.
Okay, So I grew up in a house that was haunted a little bit in Michigan. My parents, my grandmother was like sticking around.
Yeah.
I was raised Catholic, which I think makes people a lot of times believe in the paranormal hot And then as I've gotten older, I'm just like, I think that ghost like me because ghosts are used to I think ghosts know that I'm the kind of person that has been around ghosts before. Yeah, you know, when it's like you can be around somewhere like, oh you can hang like you've been with people like me, you know how to deal with me.
That's how ghosts are with me.
I get that. Yeah, there was a window in my life where I actually fear I'm the portal to like bad things. So so like I didn't realize I was like the like like the portal to, like the gateway of hell. Like I actually had some like bad energy coming that I had to really be like, I will never touch like a Ouiji board again, I will never like there's something about the purity of my channel, like
the things that were coming were not good. So I had to really like but a strong connection to the underworld or the other side or whatever, to the point where I have to be like, I respect you live and let live. I can't be your portal.
I need more. I do. But I'm like, what are we talking about?
Okay, well I'll tell you that. But I did have a recent ghost thing, so this is not that, this is not that, this was Okay, so do you want to I'll start with the recent and then I'll go to my window of portal, my chair.
Way back back to the portal. Okay, give us all the details.
So the most recent one was rip. I had the best mom ever, Janet Marine shout out JJ who three years ago like my biggest fear, Like like she was my dad had died the year before. She was like a sassy lady, still worked, like was going to Miami. We were gonna meet in New Orleans. And I was like, I grew up in this tiny town in the country in New England were like riddled with ghosts obviously, but we grew up in like a nineteen seventies house that they built, and like, you know, we were not the
haunted house. And and I was like, there were so many houses in tal Hanta, this is not the house.
This is the one.
Yeah, it's like Honda By watching like fucking like sitcoms and you know, stove for's dinners, but like not actual haunting. So I was nervous about her because she never lod We never had a key growing up to the house. We never like I was worried about her alone in that house in the field after my dad died, and I was like, what if something happened to you and nobody found you, like what have like like what And then my don't say shit because it happened like I
was shooting in Satiable. I was at it toerking, I was at a I'm starting this is real and intense and I'm sorry. But I was at the torkout class with Wie Ryan and the girls Inthentation Hall at a Hasidic rock center in Atlanta, and like I got a call from my mom's business partner that was like, have you talked to your mom? Like nobody can get in touch with her. So I was like, I'm sure she's fine. Basically she had like had a heart attack making breakfast
and like nobody found her for three days. Okay, but it was like back but she like the toaster was in the toaster when we got there, but she died back by the bedroom area. This summer, my friends and I went to the house. My brother got the house. I'm freeloading for my brother. It's like a sort of a beach town. I bring my friend Jessica. She's staying in my room. She's like there was a ghost in the doorway. It was a woman in her nightmow. I think my mom came to my room like looking for
me while we were there. Now I have some friend. I loved it. Because I know I loved it because I felt like because she was so festive and my friends that were there were so festive, and I think she was excited that we were having a good time. She said it wasn't bad energy. But I have some friends that are so freaked out that if I tell them, they'll never stay in that house again. And I actually don't mind that she was like on the hunt looking for me, but my mom is not in the house.
I can never tell my sister in law.
Can you even tell me the best version of something like that? Yes, that's not scary.
No, it's just like a mom that's like, oh, my daughter is a friend over, Like do you guys want pizza rolls?
Exactly? Like exactly, do you want like a toastino whatever? Like yeah, She's like yeah, she definitely want like a pudding pop do you want? Like yeah, So that like my house is now haunted, which kind of like throws me because I was never the haunted house. And I know it's like an intense story to start out with, but it also like she was so fun enough time has passed. It was like good to know that she's still like chilling. Yeah, No, I love that yeah, in the nightgown, and she got to.
Join the you got to come to the party, the haunted house.
She got to come to the party.
But did you have you had experiences with her?
No, I don't stay in my room. I stay in her room. I want to visit her, so I sleep in her bed.
But she's going to your room.
I didn't know that, and I already had it. I'd already assigned that room to my friend.
It's a lot, huh.
I may I'll do it for you.
Please do that?
Did you come back for you to report? I might have to have a friend sleep with me in the bed. I might have to have like a slumber parts, you know, like there might have to Yeah, I might have to have a party. I mean, you want to go to Rhode Island, I would be Do you want to share it? Do you want to share double bed with me?
Please?
I'm a very aggressive sleeper. I'm friendly, but I snuggle and I go on tour around the whole bed. You will be pushed to the side. I take, I go on, I keep it moving. I have to hit all the city.
So it's not a ghost. I would have to worry.
The ghost is the least of your problems a little like Goldiehn nineteen seventies. You're like, God's your number one. Okay, that's my most recent cost.
Can we go back to this. You're a portal to hell.
So here's a portal to hell. Okay. So it all spans from my junior year in high school to my freshman year in college.
Okay.
So my town was so tiny, so tiny, and it was founded before the country was started. It was like founded in the sixteen hundreds. There's no stop blas. There's a general store little miss Compton. So there's only a general store. There's no stop lights, there's no four way intersections because it was founded, like because the devil hides in the corners and that's where they could serve alcohol, like back in olden times. The barn the coffee shop is like a barn in an apple orchard. It's like
that is that tiny. There's like a crow that's under house arrest because it was stealing mail and that's like a federal crime like things like that.
There's a crow that's under house.
It's a crow called Paul. The crow that was like somebody was stealing male. They could have figured out who was stealing on the mail, which is a federal crime. And it turned out that somebody had a pet crow named pot the Crow. Oh, it was a past and it would go fly around and it was like because crows are smart and they could open the mailbox and it was stealing the mail. So that just let me just set the scene of where I grew up.
Okay, so.
There's no high school and my mom had like a really bad education, and she was like, I believe your brain is malleable when you're in high school. She's like, I want to put she took out like three mortgages on the house. She's like, I want to get you and your brother really good high school educations. And you may not go to college. We may have no money for college. You may not like, but like, let's educate
you for high school. So she got she took out all these mortgages, and she sent my brother and I to boarding school because we had no The high school in our town was like the high school was like an hour away and it sucked. Actually, a teacher from it was the first guy that won the survivor. Richard had to then, who went to prison for like fraud. So he was the teacher at that high school. Okay, So I got shipped off to this little tiny boarding school in the woods, and it was very preppy. It
was up near Walden Pond. It was near where like Louisy may Alcott wrote like little women and stuff, So like in the woods in the winter by like a lake. It's like there, it's like woods, and there was we had like the SATs. There was one weekend where the juniors take the SATs. Everybody else goes home, so nobody was on campus and it was like the middle icy, icy winter. There was like you know, like no leaves on the trees. It's just like branches and shit.
This is all terrifying to me.
Isn't this good? Okay? So that yes, terrifying. So the night before the SATs, of which I had not studied. I know, everybody now like people now like tutors, like I didn't think. I don't think. I liked it one cue, like one flash card learning nothing like I did no prep. I was completely unsupervised. Like it was a terrible idea to send this person to live with like thirty people my age that I could stay up with all hours. Then like I got no studying done. Like her plan backfired,
but whatever. Okay. So then so the campus was empty except for the juniors, and I had this one my best friend. I don't know if you've had toxic best friends, Like this girl was horrible, but she was my best friend because she lived across the dorm from me, like the first year that I was there. But she was like that charismatic, kind of mean cool girl who like she smoked. She like wasn't a virgin. She was like cool and sexy, and I was just like I was
like the neutered court. I looked like barbed from stranger things. And I was like the nuded court gesture to the cool girls, you know what I mean. And they were like mean, and I was afraid. I didn't know how
to confront people. Okay, So she and I stay up late the night before the SATs, like really late, and it felt like almost what teenage girls do when they work themselves up, Like it's almost like telling ghost stories and getting scared of like a sound, but it's just you know, the dog in the other room or whatever.
So rather than study or get a good night sleep, we were in my room and we just were like getting freaked out and it was like dark, it was late, nobody was around, and there was like my lights were out of my room. I think we're hanging out of my bed, and like there was like a shadow on my wall that was coming through the window. There was no tree outside my room. There was nothing that would have made these. There was no tree that could have had a shadow of a branch. There was like nothing.
There was like this shadow on my wall and it was like a flapping figure. It was like a flapping shadow. And we were like, what the fuck is that? And we like kept looking out the window and we and then we went to which and again I wasn't this. I wasn't like the kind of g I was like the craft, you know what I mean. I wasn't like I'm not like like just yes, exactly like you can suck me in. I'm a good time. I'm fine. But
like I wasn't into the supernatural like that was. And I wasn't going to get like a claw necklace with like a ball, you know, like a little thing. And let's not I don't have like crystals everywhere at that moment in time. I have them now because I live in LA people would give them to you I've so many crystal I'm so mary. I will shove crystals. I always shove. Crystals are my bra absolutely, yeah, okay, Carnelian Female Warrior Energy. Those those are my tit crystals. Okay.
So we see this flapping figure on the wall and we start being like, oh my god, it's the Angel of Death. And we again, I don't speak like that, I don't think like that. I don't read books like that.
Were like, were you religious?
No.
I grew up with no religion nothing. So I was like, it's the Angel of Death. And then we're like and and we're like, and it's for you. We knew it was for her.
I won't say the cool girl.
Yeah, we'll call her.
CG.
Cool girl. So we knew it was coming for CG. And we're like, oh my god, it's for you. And then we were she was like I know. And then I was like, oh my god, but it's not going to get you. It's not going to get you. It's coming for somebody that you love. She's like, oh my god, you're right. So we also made up our mind that it was about this girl that was like down the hall that.
We just how did you guys, come up with any of it.
I have no idea. It's all knew, like those tea It was like late at night, like who comes up with crazy slumber party shit? You know what I mean? Like we're fifteen years old, Like who knows how you come up with anything? Right, we're fifteen sixteen. I guess I was fifteen. She was sixty. I was too young for my grade, like my mom just enrolled me. I was like always a year younger than everybody. So I
think she was probably sixteen. I was fifteen. So I was like, oh, I know, but they're coming after something. They're gonna like somebody you love. They're coming after somebody you love. Okay, next morning we go take the essayts I do pretty badly. Blah blah blah. Forget about it. I went some you know, we got to home for the weekend, like after the SATs we had a long we had Monday off and I went. I remember telling my friend I went to see my friend from home.
I'm like, oh my god. We had the craziest thing, tim Like this was so insane, Like this was how crazy. Rather than studying, we came up with the Angel of Death and it was going to come for her. I get dropped off. My mom picks me up, she brings drops me back off. Monday night, we had the day off. I go back to school. I'm back in the dorm and I hear, where's Arden Arden? Somebody get arden. It
was cg freaking out. And over the weekend she had just found out that her boyfriend had been gone, like to western Massachusetts to where he was farm and he was with another guy and they were driving and they hit a patch of black ice and the car rolled and it killed both of them instantly. He died. He died the next day, he died. The day after that he died, and it which was insane. And then a freshman year of college, I was in school in Colorado and I saw the same fucking thing on the wall
and it wasn't moving, and I pulled. I like went out in the dorm and I remember finding somebody. I'm being like, I need to log this in. I need to tell you something. Yes, I saw it, and I'm like, what the fuck? I was like, I need to tell you Something's gonna sound crazy, but I need to just tell you this thing. And I told them the story and I was like I see this thing again and it's not flapping, and it's for me. I'm like, something's gonna happen to me, and it's gonna but I'm gonna
be okay, but it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen within the next month. And they were like, Okay, this is fucking weird. So I again go about my life whatever I go on, like spring break on, like driving from spring Break from Colorado down to Mexico, like everything was fine, like even like hitchhiking fine. Like three weeks later, I go this kid invites me to go this like hot guy invites me to go skiing, and it was not
a good skier. I was like, okay, we leave. It was all before like iPhones and stuff, so you know, you don't follow. It was beautiful sunny day. We start driving. The sun goes down. We're driving over the passes, those mountain passes and the rockies, which like numerous kids had died rolling off of like there's no guardrails. They would roll like thirty times they would die.
Terrifying, terrifying.
And you're also having like teenagers driving. So I'm in the back seat. His friend was with us. We were driving over these mountain passes beautiful. He was actually a good driver. It was like a beautiful day. The sun went down and it started it turned into like a white out. It was just like a blizzard. And he again was driving well, he's like and he down chefs.
We hit black ice. We spin out and thankfully I had just clipped my seatbelt in the back seat sometimes I wouldn't wear it, and we just slowly spin out. We roll off of the cliff. We roll like, I don't know, five times. Thankfully we were in a four or a four runner that had a roll bar, so we roll like four times down the cliff, and thankfully we hit a tree because it was so steep, like we would have just gone like thirty more like all way down. We hit a tree, so we got so
it stopped and it was upside down. Every single window was broken. Every the windshield back there was not It was crushed in every so we had to climb out through the back of the thing. Everybody was okay, and then we had to climb back up to the street in the snow, and no one would stop for us because it looked like we were hitchicking because there was there was no evidence that we had been in a car.
There was no it was so far down. And then when we saw it, like he had to go like claim it at a junk yard like or to go. The police brought us. Like you would think not one person had survived this thing, but like that happened, and around that time, here's the final thing around that. Okay, wait, okay, here's the final thing with the create of the portal and you could ask it so then okay, Then around that time, somebody had gotten a Oiji board and they
were like doing it around. They were doing it like in basements and stuff. And I had always pushed the Oigi. I was always like yes, like Babby likes me like fully pushing I. We had one in my house growing up. We would push it to our like it was just like it was like playing Monopoly or like trouble. So I was like, oh, I can play Ouigi. Who care? This thing starts like flying around the like in a way, and I was with like a like like a ski
bro like it was not somebody. It was flying around and in a way that was like like it seemed like it was somebody who had killed themselves in the house they were mad. It was not a good vibe. And then it literally went like flying off of we like it was it went like flying off the of the piece and we just freaked out, like ran out.
We just left it there. But I was it was all within like a two and a half three year period, and then I was like, I will I respect all of this, like I will never mess with any of this stuff again, Like I it's I I respect that there's something in me that has and have like a connection, but like I won't like mess with ouiji or like bad things, like because I there's like some opening in me that they can hook onto and I don't want them in me any questions rope okay, or any comments whatever.
Processing At what point this whole process you had in your mind like I just saw the Angel of Death, Like were you constantly like something's gonna happen, Something's gonna No.
I just there's also a part of you this like this. I felt nervous about this spring break trip, so I felt very hyper vigilant. I'm sure I was a very annoying person to go on spring break with because it wasn't my car. So I remember being like easy, easy, careful, careful, drive, careful, easy, easy, Like I think I I was hyper vigilant on that trip and it was fine.
It's like Final Destination that movie.
Yes, yes, yeah, So you did.
The wige Aboard and then you were like, I'm done, and then you never saw the Angel of Death again.
Now I've never seen anything again.
Spooky. I mean, can you even Okay?
So now when you say that you have like kind of cut yourself off from that kind of stuff, how far does that go?
Do you?
Have you been to a psychic? Have you done?
I'm nervous about that because of the fact that both of my parents have died and my dad sucked and my mom was awesome, Like I don't want to get the wrong parent. And I also don't want somebody I had somebody send me to, like a person who had like some I have been to like some stuff. But I'm kind of nervous about handing over the narrative of
maybe what's happening to somebody. Also because I'm like googleable, like people like and I wrote a book that also had my mom in it and stuff like that, Like, I don't want somebody telling me something that then me either makes me worry about her, you know, so I'm just I don't know.
Well from like now, like have you ever like did you did you ever go to one? Like you college?
I love stuff like this, like like I love it. I do love like I love like tarot cards. I love like readings, I like like astrology stuff like I love all this stuff and I read and I believe in it and I respect it enough to like really pick carefully. If I'm going to let that end, I would I would just have to really vet the person.
Do you Oh my god, girl, I've been to so many psychics.
Do you has one been the best?
I have a lot of beliefs about psychics, okay, but I think it's more so it's like how everyone has a bad day, like at work. You know, sometimes they're really good, sometimes they're not.
Have you had one person that was like great ones and not great another time?
Yes?
Absolutely, you have your right the rigs that you go to.
A little bit.
I have some people I can call, but I like to just get Like if I'm out of town or something and I see a psychic and it's like, oh, fifteen bucks, I'll go in there, like I'll do that. Oh yeah, But then also like, because of this podcast, I've gotten to talk to people that are like world renowned psychics.
And how are they great? I mean, I love I love all this stuff, so I'm sure I will go.
I don't think that they're good for answers like I think, well, like I don't think you should go to a psychic completely just like whatever they say, I'm going to completely believe.
I like it.
Specifically for Okay, I'm thinking about moving to this apartment. I'm really like, I really want to do it. I don't know what to do. And then you go there, don't bring up the apartment. And if they go, mmmm, I'm seeing you move to an apartment, then be like, okay, wow.
I went to this person in Pasadena that actually had like a when I was buying my house, that had like a house thing.
What do you mean a house thing?
So she she does this thing that's like I forget what the wording of it is. You stand have you stand on like these like footprint things you stand on like different color like size like feet. She has like it's almost like flip flops without like the top part, and like she has different sizes of different colors and you pick out like, is.
She doing some kind of pyramid scheme? No, it actually flip flop.
Is It's like Kate Hudson's what is her fount Leisure Athletic. Yeah, now you can't cancel. Everyone's thinking, did she.
Make you spend like sixty thousand dollars all this inventory and now you're trying to sell me flip flops like you psychic ability.
That's exactly what I'm doing. Look, listen, sharks, I've got some of these. I've got these flops. They don't actually have an upper part, but when they do, they can't talk to your grandma. It's exactly like, look, listen, sharks, I'm looking for four thousand dollars for one percent investment.
Well there's a word for this, but I don't know what it is, but it's basically the idea that like how we all carry trauma from our ancestors and our body and it's like a garden hose that has kinks in it, and you have to go back and unkink the trauma from like your past, like you know, the the trauma of your ancestors to help like hell, your I don't know, I haven't done it in years. But
she brought up. I had put it an offer on a house and she was like, maybe I told her there was a house and I'd put it in an offer. I was buying my first and she was like, my only house. I never bought a house, my house. I was buying my house. And she's like and I was like, this is it. This is She's like, yeah, this isn't the house. This isn't going to happen. And I was like, okay, well this is this other house. She's like, yeah, that's not that. You're not gonna Those are not your house.
Those are like I think I'd put in like two hours. She's like, those are not your house.
You just did the tone of a psychic woman in Pasadena.
Yeah, this is not your house. And the other one's not your house. There's another there's a third house. I was like, what are you talking about? I have offers in these are what are these the house? This is the house? Like no, So she's like they're beautiful, those are that's not your house. Those are not your houses. There's another house. And I was like.
She was right.
Like a couple of days later there was another house. And so it was another thing where you would stand on these flip flops too, and like uncertain ones you would close your eyes and just sort of see and like there are certain ones where like your body would literally start like turning around, or you get dizzy, or you felt like it was because again I go in with sort of the New England attitude sometimes that this
is all bullshit. I'm like this all fucking bull like okay, like some of my little like friends that are a little like ooh, like you know, like I'll I'll hop on any fucking sound bath, you know what I'm saying. So I was like, this is so stupid, but I
did go, and I did feel very physical difference. And then afterwards, like there was one that I felt like a huge heaviness, like it was just like Draain and like and it was afterwards and I didn't tell her how I felt, but it was like, oh, yeah, like that was your dad, this is your relationship to like you with money, this is your like like you don't know what's what and like and I will say how I felt. I don't know what she does. You might
want to go try it. It's pretty cool. I can give you the infault.
I might.
It was kind of cool. I haven't done it. I've done it twice. I don't think I'll do it again, but it was cool.
I also think I've said about this a lot on this podcast about like comedians. I think in particular, are they have to be good at picking up on vibes? Yeah, And I mean and I there is, believe it or not, a touch of what you were referring to as like your East Coast everything's bullshit, Like I have a little bit of that too, yes, but which.
I think is good.
I think that you shouldn't well, yeah, all of this. But I'm also like an intuition vibe person. I listen to that. If I'm going to like a new place to move or whatever, I'm like, let me feel it out.
Would I like it here?
And I do think that that goes along with like ghosts and paranormal and all of that.
I think my mom is a real estate agent, like because there was like you're either a lobster, min a cop, or you sell houses in my town or you work at the gas station. There's no jobs, so she still houses and she would just say a lot of them were empty all year because they were like summerhow like rich people would come and you know, come for the summer and then they just sit empty. And she was like, She's like, houses don't like to be empty, like houses
of a soul. Houses are alive, houses need people. Houses don't like to be empty. Houses their spirit. Like she really believes that houses houses like need to have. I definitely do the clearing when I'm moving because I always like live an old, old spaces. I try to like welcome just sort of I don't know, like invite that if somebody's there to feel comfortable, know that I'm coming,
like I come, you know, in a good vibe. But there's sometimes I this is how I feel, so Banana saying this, But there's sometimes I'm like I actually feel like late at night that I could like look at a piece of paper and make it lift up with my brain. Do you have that? No, you don't have that. You don't think that you could look at something and be like move move.
This could be yet another author, podcast house, actor, comedian telepathic.
You know tele you don't take that. Let's try it. I need paper?
Is it too early in the day because I'm such a night out I'm like an insomniac. It's like, are you you've always been.
Yeah, call me sometime, I stay up late.
Okay, I like that. But I mean here's the thing. When you hear the stories that I told, you need to know that I am a New England like oh guy, like just a like to the point where you know, like surviving that how you know they be like do we hurt your feeling? You know what I mean? It's
so practical, so practical. Did not go to church like okay, like just the most practical, like New England, you know, so like particularly young Arden was like had not been on LA it was fifteen, like like I was not the kid that was going to come up with Angel of Death. That was not what you see is what you get. And at that I wasn't even like, you know, I never be like therapy. I've never seen a crystal.
It was just like that. It was just like a you know, just a silly, awkward gal watching pop culture move like that is not who I was. So it was very out of the ordinary for my brain to go there.
Which makes it legit. And now your brain can move paper around.
I mean, look, I when all else fails, when things go to shit, I can go perform on stage as an illusionist.
Please, if you need a magician's assistant, I'll be.
Like, yoh my god, we be I mean you get our jumpsuits, you get your purple short sleeve big bud press. Yes you would also like hot and red.
Oh yeah, sure, I'm down. Okay, let me ask you about synchronicities. This is like one thing that I've been really obsessed with lately.
Yeah.
Are you somebody that pays attention to that?
Yes, yes, very much. Yeah.
What about like, do you have any good stories about things lining up?
Like?
I don't know. I always I'm always interested in talking.
To people about like when they got their their break or like something some monumental moment in their life happened. And there's always there, always seems to be, whether you realize it or not, some kind of thing where everything worked out well.
Literally, Like so my book, my book that I was like years in the coming. I'd like sold an earlier version of my book that then like I sold it years before a different version. And at the time, like there'd been like a flood of books by like lady comedians who'd come out and they done really well, and then between when they like optioned the proposal and then I was writing it. Some came out and they didn't do as well, and they've been paid a lot of money,
so like, yeah, we don't want to do it. They didn't pay like so then it had like a stink on it, you know. So like over the years, I tweaked it, I took it out, nobody want and I was just like, okay, I'm just like I tried whatever, it's not meant to be and then like various book age. So then I wrote this article that went viral and I had another fucking book agent be like do you want to take it out? And there's a part of me that's like not really like so I was like, okay, look,
enough time has passed. What would I want to write now? Like the world had changed between when I like it was sort of right at the beginning of Instagram, but people were getting more honest, Like I felt like the book I wanted to write was more honest, Like now we just want like fun stories of like drinking and having I was like, okay, well that's not really me. But so I wanted to tell something that was funny but also kind of honest, and I felt like Instagram
in that time period, people expect honesty. Now people expect sort of like the whole. I think people are more free with telling the whole story about who they are. So when this person approached me, I was like, fine, Like let me just think of, like what book would my life has changed? Like who am I now? What would I want? What would I be proud of now?
So I wrote a whole new proposal. But I was like, I'm so fucking I've grieved this thing so many years ago, like it's done whatever, I've kind of forgot about it. So he took it out. He took it out. Some places passed, some places were kind of interested. Whatever I'm shooting insatiable, Ah the blue, my very healthy mom dies. I go, I fly up to Rhode Island for the funeral. The town is so tiny, it's like a five minute drive from our house to the church for the funeral.
We're going to the funeral that morning, after ten years, I get this email on the way to the five minute drive to the church to her funeral that was like, Hey, Arden, we hope you're having a great week. We want to buy your book. We want to do this book with you. And it was about my family and she was barely in the proposal, but it was like, we're so excited, we want to buy your book. I sold it in the five minute drive between my house and her funeral,
and I was like, Okay, hey, look something happened. I think it's going to be a different book. And then it completely changed the DNA of the book, where it actually completely the whole book is her book, and it was like, I think, even a more optimistic book and like a tribute to her, like in all these stores that i'd heard that I would never have heard if she hadn't. Did people tell you things that you're like,
I didn't know? And like it completely changed it. I think it opened up my heart and that was the book I was supposed to like the fact that it happened. I can't. It's a two mile drive in a country town. And that was I think it was ten years later it was that that that was the five minute period I sold my book. That's weird.
I mean, how do you interpret that?
I feel like that was always in the stars. I believe, including I hate to say it, I believe everything that went down is exactly how it was supposed to go down, even though I didn't like it. I believe. I believe it was written that way and it was always supposed to go down that way. And like so that night we had some of her ashes and we may or may not because it's it's not necessarily legal. We may
or may not. We didn't, but we might have gotten some illegal fireworks, allegedly because her friend had done this and it was legal at the time, but allegedly like her friend who knew that they had cancer, like they like set up like a thing and hire, but you could like shoot yourself off with fireworks. She wanted a party and my mom was like, that's so cool. So the laws had changed. We may or may not have gotten some illegal fireworks from New Hampshire where they don't care.
And we shot off fireworks maybe with some of her ashes. And then immediately my nephew goes, look, look, look, look, look, and there was like like hundreds of fireflies in the field and like it was just everywhere. The whole field was just filled with fireflies. And they were like, oh my gosh, she's happy to be home, like she's giving you her jazz hands.
Like totally.
Because we also asked because we didn't go to the church we had to beg them to let us do it there there's no there's no spaces big enough for a funeral in our town. So like we asked if we shear her favorite song was all the single, So we asked if we could play that, and they were like, absolutely not. So we played all the single Ladies, and we like shot them off maybe and then there was all these like just filled with fireflies everywhere, and that was all that. Yeah, how about that?
That's gorgeous?
Right right.
Let me shift on over to a segment that we do love it. I want to hear some ghost voices. Okay, it's time.
For ev P.
Or ev Please.
Have you ever heard one that actually sounds like a ghost because I've watched a lot of ghost hunters. I love this StuffYeah, I love this stuff. I want evidence of ghosts. I want to see ghosts. I want to hear them. I like this. I'm a believer.
Okay, well I have some stuff for you to Okay, this is we're gonna need our.
Headphones for this part.
Is it going to be a good one? I want to I want to hear one, so you.
Probably I know the term EVP electronic voice phenomenal.
I've seen them. I've seen Zach in his fucking weird box. I've seen Zach in the like the hospital, the Children's fire Hospital, wards like, i've seen that.
Are you on first name basis with Zach Began?
No, but I am a I have binge watched seasons watching them be like, see these creepy dolls. Oh I had another ghost.
Okay, we're gonna get to that. Okay, don't forget that. I won't.
Okay, So what I do is I go to YouTube where you can find thousands of people's EVPs that they.
Pose hot and you know, horny for this.
Yeah, you're gonna love it.
Okay, So I'm gonna play it, and I'm gonna have you guess what you hear and.
Then what they say.
I'll give you some options, Okay, Okay, here's the first one. This is from Spooky Shivers on YouTube.
Hot and it is swipe right.
This is a.
Dating thing as well. I'm hoping Spooky Shivers is single.
Right, like so gallon a jumpsuit.
This is from Rhode Island Home Stage.
I hope it has an accent. Hope is like odd and get over. How's your mother?
This is at some kind of residential investigation someone's house.
What is it saying?
I heard nothing, but I heard a whisper. I heard again. Seriously, so I don't know.
Seriously is that enough?
Serious?
An angle? Seriously? That angle?
Seriously? That angle?
Yeah, he's like doing house restoring.
Oh I thought it was like someone was taking a selfie, like here.
Angle, look at yourself. Your faces are working.
Reverse honey, that's the angle. That's me. Seriously, that angle. Seriously, that's good.
That angle.
Okay, well that's not what they believe. Did they think it was?
Is this legal? B I'm scared but evil? No, I'm scared but evil.
No, there's nobody saying, like.
First day on the job as a demon, I'm scared, but I'm evil.
It's embarrassing, is it?
C let's scare some people? Or d I love don cheatle D?
Can I hear it again? What was the first one?
Is this legal?
I'm here one more time? It's not that here? What is my option?
I'm scared but evil? Not that let's scare some people.
That is, let's scare some people.
Let's scare some people. I think it could also similarly be I'm scared of people? I think it's scarce scare some people. What do they say, Yeah, that's what they thought it was. Yeah, I actually think that's you might have a future in this too.
I mean, I love it. I want it to be real. I love of this ship. I love this ship.
You've seen the Angel of Death.
You look, I've seen the Angel of any doubt I have respect for this. I've seen the Angel of Death. That is a shadow on the wall coming with its like like a pterodactyl wing. It was like a wing. It's either flapping or not. Because it wasn't moving. I knew I would survive.
That's not good.
I don't ever want to see it again. Okay, this next one, do you think I'm banana pants?
No, I think I'm not at the show the kind of stuff that we talk about here.
I feel accepted.
You really are. This is also from Spooky Shivers. I believe it's from the same investigation. If I'm not mistaken. And what's this one saying.
This is a very butch ghost can I just says it's something but goes. I also want to see your hairs looking really the thing that you're feeling tender about at the break, I want to say, it looks really good. I think you're getting the like the cool French seventies cool go all vibe.
Than you because I have these headphones on these.
I like it. I think you should feel confident.
I want to keep these headphones on all day too, and.
I'm going to say that. I'm like, I'm doing it. I'm doing like a think piet.
Okay, what is this? Goes saying.
Do long more time? I'm so hot for you?
That is literally what I hear.
That's it We've heard again, so hot for you.
It's like a real deep hot for you.
Ghost.
Okay, well, here's some options. Is it A, You're so not cute?
That's really am rude.
It's kind of the opposite of what we thought. B it's all up to you.
Okay, it's like we can do this is up to you, right, Yeah.
I'm down. Is it C I'm so confused?
No, this is a confident ghost. That's an alpha ghost.
Or is it D I'm so hot for you. I mean we already know what you're in.
D I'm so hot for you.
They think it's it's all up to you.
Let me hear it again. All right, that's also similar vibe of horniness and osolism. You like, I'm down, Yes, yeah, I'm respecting to Okay, I'm I'm not mad at their interpretation.
Yeah, it's all up to you.
It says this EVP was captured at a home with reoccurring intense negative paranormal activity. Many have blessed and cleansed the home, but still the negative spirits prevail. Although the voice you were hearing is not a malicious spirit, we believe it is someone else warning us that we should not give up on saving the home by speaking this message. Oh so it was basically it was like, it's all up to you to get this.
Evil out of here. I'm a ghost. It's all up to you.
It's hear one more time, Okay. I mean that's like a person that wants to feel like a hero that interpreted that you gotta save me. It's all up to you. It is all up to you. I'm a hot, horning construction ghost. It's just waiting for you to get rid of the other hell hags. They could be. That could be your name name of a band. We should start a band. Hell, we've be such cute hell. Then we'd have to get red jumpsuits.
Yeah for sure. Wait, hang on a second. What is your other ghost story that you reminded of?
Okay, so I oh you want ghosts? So I did that literally, Okay, dude, I did this movie in Massachusetts in March of this year. Yeah, it's a it's a horror movie.
What's it called, your horror movie?
I'm in a horror movie. It's called Onyx And it was really fun. It hasn't. Yeah. It was filmed in western Massachusetts, which is so haunted, like Headless Horsemen territory, like Fall haunted.
That's not Salem, right Salem.
Salem is more near Cape Cod, So this is more towards like the mountains. Salem's near the water. Uh, yes, exactly.
I don't know that area very well.
Salem's very pretty, so was this area. So we were filming in the Berkshires and Lenox, Massachusetts. Oh, in this mansion that had like baby dolls with human hair and stuff from the eighteen hundreds and it shit like that. There were some rooms that had such bad vibes and the people that like work there that just said, this is like constant sightings. So we were staying. They put everybody at this hotel called Gateway, not Gateways, the Gateway
to Hell. Okay, it was so hot, so the whole we were, the entire higher hotel was taken It was like a bed and breakfast, entirely taken over by the cast and crew, and it so like the hair and makeup people. They were a couple and they had like this corner room and they would literally see full apparitions, like full ghost walking, like they would just it was like cold and like things would just like people kept seeing shit and I was in the room next door and they kept like so this was sort of just
weird and inconvenient. But like my room, the water wouldn't turn on, and like I didn't. They were like, okay, we'll go put you out of Marriott, but I wanted to be where everybody was. Like everybody else was just like letting me shower. So they would bring plumbers out and plumbers and plumbers and then like then I'd go in and it was like scalding and people were joking like the ghosts like ooh, it's my dirty girl. It's my dirty girl. And I keep my dirty girl. I
keep from my little dirty girl. So then not to be tmi well, Okay. So I was married for a long time and I got divorced a little over a year ago, and I've been on a bunch of dates, but I hadn't slept with anybody yet at all. They smoothed to a lot of people, but I hadn't slept with anybody yet. So it'd really been my whole life, adult life since there been like a new person in a downstairs on my underpants reach. And so I fucked
a ghost. So like I met this guy I like had a like I went on a bunch of dates with in New York with this guy, I had some days off. I went on a bunch of dates and he was like, hey, I can come visit you. And all my friends were like, girl, like just pull off the band aid, like you just like you just have to, like is this perfect thing? We're all around like you're safe.
It's like he's hot, You've been on a bunch of dates to him, and you have fun with him, and you're leaving like I was like flying out the next day. They're like it's perfect, like just like wipe the sleighs. I was like okay. I was like, okay, I'll see how I feel I'm like, I'll tell me and come up. He knew I hadn't slept with anybody, Like I was nervous, you know what I mean, I've been like really I felt like I mean I had been year like years and years and years since like a new person. It
was scary. So I was like, ohyeah, yeah, okay. So like one of the young cast members was like, we're going a cb as like we're getting you condoms. We're gonna go get you. I was like, okay, So like I like, but I feel like the ghost, like truly, the whole time, people were joking that the ghost was like a crush. I mean, the ghost was like dirty girl, dirty girl, like like I like, so we think the ghost was pissed. The ghost was pissed. I'm like getting ready.
The ghost did not like this. So like I'm like it was like the night before the arrival, the ghost was.
All excited like this is Arden's last night, this is my chance, this is my chance.
Oh my god. Pressed up it.
Like a monocle, like a top hat.
I'm picturing like is it Ducky?
What's that character from sixteen Candles? Just like I'm picturing Ducky meets like the Monopoly Man or like one of the old muppets, like the old Guy muppets.
He was so exciting.
Okay, so the guy is coming, he hasn't arrived yet. I finally get a shower, and uh, I'm the and we decide because production, we'd been filming night. So we've been filming movies, film all night, sleep all day. So they wanted me to weigh a day. I was the only person of the day off before I flew out, so they wanted me to wait a day because the PA would have been too tired to drive me the two hours to Logan airport. So I was alone in the hotel. Nobody lived at the hotel. There was no
person that stayed at the hotel that worked there. It was late at night, like gearing up, getting ready. Everybody's filming. But me. I hear a pounding on my door, knock, like a pounding, like a full knocking pounding. And I was like, oh, my friend, my riv is back. Rivka who went to CVS with maybe bought the condoms Riveke is back early. She must have gotten back. Pounding on the door. I go open it up. No one's in the hotel. Not one person is in the hotel. And
this is like a couple days after. Like the people I shared a wall with the people that saw the apparition, like like it was like pounding on the door and not like nobody nobody was there. There was not one. There was nobody there and it was And again I don't know that the sex has anything to do with it, but it was like there was a few I feel like I'm forgetting a few things, but it was like they everybody kept joking the entire time that the ghost was obsessed with me.
Yeah, he was there to see his dirty girl.
Had he had to see his dirty girl. He put on his best ghost stray suit, he had a ghost condom. Yeah, he had taken his ghost all of his tests. Like yeah, I can't can you even wow? Yeah? But there was like people had like seen like shit was moving around and like the hair and makeup, like like shit was moving around in the hair. I feel like they actually saw something fly. I almost want to like call them column can we call that on the air? Okay, okay, okay, okay,
Hi it's Saren. Oh my god, it's Arden. How are you I have I'm on a podcast and we're recording. I'm literally it's a ghost podcast. Are you and Travis or are you do you mind? Just you have two minutes to tell the story of the ghost in your room.
Ah, he tells the story so much better.
You're a queen and a goddess, and you're gonna tell it, just the facts, just whatever happened. I was trying to explain how haunted this corner of the world was. I talked about how the ghost knew I was a dirty girl, and that it was pounding on my door, and that you guys were up we were filming nights and stuff, and that you guys were up like late building wigs in your corner room. Right.
Yes, so that's what we did every night exactly, And oh man, it's it's so much more vivid to Travis. So we were both sitting there like Travis had his I think he had his back to the wall or his back to me, and was like facing the wall. I was on the house, facing towards the corner of the room, by the place, and he turned around and we both like saw something. But I saw it out of the corner of my eye. I think he kind of saw it as a swift flash too. And then
it got really really cold in the room. And this is like Travis his first experience too with anything like this, and he he like looked at me and was like, do you see that. I said, yeah, it got really cold, and he took his hand and he came he like came closer to the middle of the room where I was and put his hand out and it felt like he was putting his hand through like a very cold like.
Ah god, how did he explain it?
Like basically like a thing, like an invisible thing like he had felt like he put his hand through this.
Ghost like Jello or something.
Yeah, yeah, like basically what you would imagine it like it looks like in the movies.
Basically, yeah, right right, Yeah, it was crazy and there wasn't there wasn't there something with the door opening and like a pin, like one of the pins.
Yeah.
So the other thing that kept happening in the room was the door to our like wardrobe kept opening, yeah, like over and over and I don't think it's because it was old. And then and then we brought some because have like tangerines all over the mansion, right, yeah, so that we make friends with the with the ghosts. So we put a bunch of tangerines in our room and then then it was fine, and then the door stops opening on us.
What was the thing with the pin I feel like there was like hair pin things.
You wanted to be friendly with them and not try to like exercise them.
I love that before. Have you ever heard that?
Yeah? I think so ghost today we're.
Talking about ghosts. Yeah, and that when I saw the Angel of Death as a teenager twice jealous.
Then the show is called Ghosted.
I love you. I'll talk to you later. Bye. Well, there you have it.
So you're not a liar.
I'm not a liar. Okay, I may be many things. I'm not a liar.
I believe you and the tangerines keep away goes.
Now we know. Well, you're very present, you're very like compelling to talk. You're very nice to talk to. And may I compliment your physical beautiful eyes, like you have a very ground and you're very calman presence. You're very nice person, very pretty eyes.
Thank you.
Oh you're welcome.
Well, I would love to have you back.
I would love for you to come back, and I want you to start watching the Bachelor.
Oh so I can go in your podcast.
It's really fun. You and stand Pancakes should come.
Yes, tell everybody about your podcast and everything you have going on where they can find you.
Okay, I have a really fun podcast called will You Accept This Rose. I've done it for seven years. It's on iHeart Radio. It's a comedy podcast. We have people like Fortune Fimester, Nikky Glazier, Jim Jeffries, Lance Baths, we have people from the Bachelor. We have Doug Benson, Liza Traeger, Air Foley, like the hits, good people, great people, and
we so and we break. We're like, we're not snarky about it, but we do make a lot of jokes, like we truly want people to find love, but if you act like an idiot, we will make jokes about it. And uh So, it's really fun and you don't need a lot of people don't even watch the show and they just listen to the podcast. And then I'm on I don't know when it's coming out, but I'm on the reboot of Daria and I have a bunch of
movies that'll come out at some point. I'm filming some cool TV show that I can't say right now, and like there's all sorts of fun stuff that'll be coming up. So I'm on art and marine is my It's really Instagram. It's my favorite. Let's be real, but it's but it's M y R I N A R d E N M y are I.
Do you tour? Are you doing stand much?
I am doing stand up? I have I'm starting to tour again, but I'll be in New York. I'm doing Union Hall October eleventh. Yeah, and then I have some dates in LA and I think I'm gonna do something at Dine. I see typewriter coming up, so like, yeah, getting ready to tour again. I was kind of like the COVID of it all, So do you tour?
No?
I want to?
Yeah that I sort of like took a pause during the Panda and now I'm like gearing up to do it again.
Good.
Yeah, well the world little dirty Girl.
I was a dirty girl. I should do the Dirty Girl Ghosts ghost Tour. That'd be so fun.
Well, oh, I'm so hot for you. It's all up to you. Hot, so hot for you.
They're both hot. That's the ghosties wipe right on. I mean, if a guy like called you, okay.
Thank you so much to Arden Marine, I'm actually going to be on her Bachelor podcast.
Will you accept this? Rose?
I have never seen a single moment of the Bachelor, but I'm watching it for Arden and we're gonna have a great time with that.
So check it out.
Are you following the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or whatever?
Please do subscribe.
Whatever the verbiage is on whatever app you listen to, please give it five stars. Write a nice review if you have the time, leave a ghost story in a five star review, or send me one that I could read on the show at ghosted by Raz at gmail dot com. You can find me on Instagram at Rozhernandez, TikTok and Twitter at It's Raz Hernandez. Please tell your friends about the show for spooky season. I love you all both living in dead.
But if I didn't ask you to haunt me, don't haunt me. Hey back.
Star bands are a podcast a podcast network.
Mm hm