The Legend of Kevin Samuels Part.1

on us. Don't get twisted on code and me and danced for now buttament biscuits. It's Willie d'all scar faces in the building. Collectively, we are to get old boys reloadly loaded with another episode of information and instructions to help you navigate through this wild, crazy, beautiful world. In the studio, kill Erica, Sydney Rosa, they Evin, the love guru and spokesperson for Kevin Samuel's family, Dennis Attorney Dennis Sperling is in the building, y'all. I appreciate all y'all

coming through. Uh, I'm gonna start with you, Dennis. Kevin Samuel's has said some controversial things about men and women with his objective perspective on relationships in the black community, specifically, right, social media is a SoundBite, uh, for our community. Like everybody had an opinion about Kevin Samuel's demise when he died, right, Uh, some uh supportive, some very very vindictive and evil downright evil? Um? Was was Kevin Samuels in your opinion a controversial person?

But and also uh was he misunderstood? Well? I think that we use the term controversial because the main um society at large did not have anything to controvert what he was saying, and therefore he was controversial. But he had his logic and it it was based um on facts, whether you read the CDC reports and the things that he studied, and from that point he expounded on that and then he related to how it affected society. It's it's not controversial. Basically, he was just speaking facts and

giving his opinions and that's it. But you know, as far as the merits of his actual work, they stand alone, you know. And I'm here today not speaking as the spokesperson for the family or as their attorney. I'm not their attorney, and I'm not speaking as a spokesperson. I was his friend and soon to be business associate, and so was he misunderstood in the to the vein that mass meteor YouTube was not his final stop. Yeah, I mean, we had plans to basically revitalize some industries that Black

Americans lost fifty years ago. So you know, this was not about you know, Kevin Samuels, this is about the black community large. He loved the black community. That's why he continued to talk to the black community. He realized after talking to black men for five years that he can get these men together, but if they don't have suitable mates, then it serves no purpose. It's just gonna

go off and married women from other other races. That's what he thought, and so that's why he was frantically every night going back and forth, Miss why don't you deal with this guy? You're average, he's average. Y'all be together. Instead of thinking you can get some guy who's worth a hundred million dollars and you don't qualify for that type of man, Let's lower those expectations. And unfortunately, a lot of people responded negatively because people like to live in,

you know, an unreal world. That's that's my interpretation. What what do you say to women who say that, yeah, he spoke some truth, but he didn't have to be so disrespectful. Well, you know, I don't know what to say. We live in a harsh world world, and you know, sometimes things people say may offend you. But you have to take the meat from the bones and if it applies, then use it, you know. I mean people have spoken

to me harshly. I don't wish death upon them. I may disagree with them, but we can talk about that in a logical manner. Was their truth to what he said? I dare you to find a lie in what he said? Did you not? Did it burn your ears? Maybe so? But it was still truth. And so that's what we have to exep That's that's the part that I think will happen in the next five to ten years. People will reanalyze his work and said, well, you know, now that I'm not so emotionally attached to it, I'm not

so angry about it. I see the truth and what the man was saying that I think it's again. I think his work will stand on its own. And my question would be today here it's listen if he has said it any other way, that's an excellent point, and I've actually talked to him about that. You know, he said, you know the thing is, you got you got the

major networks, you got cable, yeah, Internet. You have all these distractions for human beings, and then on top of that, you have about you have a generation of people who are not used to listening to anything for any extended period of time. So unless you say something that cuts through the noise, the message will never get out. Now.

I recognize what he was doing very early on, even before he and I became friends, um, and I saw what he was doing, and I saw the effectiveness effectiveness as of it, and so you know, I get what the man was doing. I get the point. I get it. Sometimes you have to talk to people in the language and in the manner in which they can understand, because that is that is what communication is. Me be saying it or writing it is not sufficient. You have to be able to communicate your ideas to them, and he

was an effective communicator. Are there any women on the panel who would have listened to Kevin Samuel's without the insults? Me? I would have. And to be honest with you, if a person actually listened to the entire interview and not just the snippets that Instagram gave. He wasn't rude unless you were rude first. He wasn't disrespectful unless you were disrespectful first. And at the end he got a little vogar, but that was because he was frustrated because you're asking

him questions, he's giving you answers, and you're not listening. Uh. People don't listen to the entire Uh. For me, I mean, I hear what you're saying as far as like talking about the facts and that he sticks in the way that he but I think the delivery for me, like I can't receive what you're saying if the way that it's just the way that you would deliver things. For example, when he told one girl after thirty five years old, you know, if if things haven't happened for you, your

life is over. That's not okay. You didn't watch the whole video, nobody exactly because if you listened to the whole thing. He asked her, how do you rate yourself? He never rated her. He asked her, how do you rate yourself? She said, it's a five or six. He said, that's average. So if you're average, wise dating an average man and insult. It's cue and people don't listen to the entire thing. There are a lot of truth. Is that a lot of truth in that? Because the funny

thing is about it, anybody that foughtowed me. No, I've been saying a lot of this stuff way before, but I don't say it exactly like he said it. What the deal is, what he's saying was true. You start as a woman, you hit thirty five, you hit forty, your numbers started to decline. And that's just a fact. What numbers numbers. So your pool anymore, so your pool decreases. Right, so we all have we all have a number of age or whatever. Where your numbers started to decrease, your

pool started to decrease. Your thirty five and I would say forty more than thirty five? Woman? Who aty to who? Though to men? To what kind of mean man? I don't calf talking to a specific thirty five. Yeah, but you older, But that's the deal. You're older than that. So if you're a thirty five year old man, you don't want a thirty five. You want to year old woman. You want to you want to if you're thirty five year old man you don't want him, fifty year old woman,

don't you want to yet? I want tut Okay, you want you speaking generally, you're speaking in general. I'm not talking about you fakes. I know you brought me, but the old man don't want thirty five year old woman. He me. And if you're a forty five year old man, you're messing with a thirty five year old one. But see, he wasn't speaking in general. He was speaking to the person that called him. But he was talking to general. But he's speaking in general when he makes those statements.

If it's that one situation where she's calling herself average, the world is receiving it. Like you're telling me, my life is over at thirty five years old, and I can't have a partner. When some people's lives begin at forty fifty, that's when their prime is actually, so you got not have a partner. You're saying that you should be more realistic about the partner that you choose. Right. I was watching one episode when a girl. He asked what the girl was and she was like a tin,

Like she was clearly like a four. So she was like clearly a four. And I understand that all women are talk that you're a princess and that the world's supposed to revolving around you. But if you are four, that's a good that's a good when so everyone knows or has an average. So I can look at good ladies at this table, and I can say, I can look at this table and say it's a beautiful women. Right,

So I think that's pretty universal. Anywhere you go, you would think that you're beautiful if you two hundred and seventy five pounds five one. You know what I'm saying. With a bad lace front, we we t teeth missing. You know you're not a ten. But you know that for the one of two people, for the people that it appeals to, that's not that's not you know overall you know you because because I call it the love market. The love market, tell you what your number is. Easy.

If you walk in a restaurant, you walk in the club. Right. If you're walk in a restaurant and you're pretty, I can go to most restaurants and drink and eat for free. Right, that's some chicks that night, and I they're not gonna go anywhere and eat and drink for free. Right, You're not gonna give me a drink? Said none of that. Right, You're gonna walk in and you're gonna be like, you give me a drink and everybody. So that's a very easy Do you know what your your doumb was off?

Those women wanted what did they call them? What did they say? They want to high valued men. But they were not speaking on your average man because clearly they could get them. They wanted high valued men and their high value mean in their minds, how high valued was money? And he said high valued? It's not just money? What definition collection? His definition of high value man was not

just the money you've made. For instance, there are a lot of athletes who made a million dollars this year, if they're not high value this amount of money you made over a certain period of time unless your social connections, social connections from for instance, when his family contacted me, I could have money, but I know I might not have the connections that necessary to make sure it's done

and that done and that done. Um. You know for instance, both of you guys, I've I've contributed to both of y'all's. Can we appreciate that to thank you very much? And so you do that that takes time and knowledge and the understanding that I may need friends in the future. So that's what he meant. Also by you know your social connection, and thought, you send me that money because you like me many because I believe I examine your and I knew that you would be the best man

for that job. And I felt the same way about you. But it's not just about money, and people get caught up into that. And then also and Kevin, it was dynamic, and people that get caught up with our women get caught up in that. I think, I think it's women, bro this women man, women, yes, because but but but but Brad, I gotta tell a story to go ahead. They're even guys who don't have money who think he's offending them too. There are a lot of guys whore

offended by boy. He said some ship. That was so funny to me. Dog he said how he said, how tall are you? He say? Five? Way? He saying, and how much you ways? The two say five? He said, you got and you may phone it out of the weekend. He said, you got a big dick. I mean, And it was funny. But but look, man, I was gonna say, what the fun was? I gonna say, you said you got a story. I have a hell of a story,

but I can't remember the motherfucker. One thing about it is that Kevin was an equal opportunity insultor and also also critiqued. You know, like the thing is that, well, before Kevin started going at women or his centering his platform around women, he was he was critiquing men. He was giving advice to men for years and me and accepted it. You didn't see any outrage. I mean you said, you saw some man that you know didn't tune in. But for the most part, me and accepted it. It

was men who built his platform. And once those videos started going viral, women started watching. And then that's when the criticism came. Well that's because me and accepted. We know you. We know a pack and order from when we kids. He was an athlete growing up. You know you're packing order. You know you was an entertainer. You know you're packing order. You was an ugly dude in school. You know you're packing order. Used the cute dude, a nice looking dude, the ass dude in school. You had

all the women. You knew you're packing order. We accepted. It's women that don't accepted packing order. It's six is saying that they should have a team because they mamas told them that you should have a team. You were the greatest thing since slice bread to your mama, not to everybody else, to your mother. That's mean, it's ship. I think we're basing on the scale on on gender currency, like like, ok okay, so what do you bring to

the table is the question? Right? Men have gender currency? Right, like like men have uh men bring uh their finances, they bring uh protection strength to the table. Yeah, there you go, women, women, women, women. That's that's not a social dick. It's not a social currency. No, no, no, not not a social but the gender currency. No, pussy is a gender currency. Nobody ever started a wall over some dick. Okay, but but you alright, it's not expensive.

Well he referred to it as a sexual marketplace value, okay. And that's based on women who are fit, feminine, their youth, and for men is based on your your physical fitness, how much money you may and your in your social status. So that's when you put those two together, then it determines what you can get on the market. Basically, he treated it like and you have to understand. Primarily, Kevin was a businessman and he saw it. He saw the sexual marketplace as a business. What can I leverage to

get what I want? Now, if you're a man who is five ft one, three hundred pounds and make four dollars a month, and you're not going to be able to leverage much on the secretary, you know, you know what? And I think women understand that, Like, will you just explain that? I think every woman and he heard that the I'm talking about for men I'm talking about he just that that example. He just game man, if you file one three hundred pounds, uh, you know, make four

hundred dollars a week. I don't see a lot of women saying, yeah, him to go back on your packing order. We know ours as well. I don't think there's a person in the world that hasn't dealt with since school, Like, Okay, this is the attention that I get, whether it's at home or from strangers. Like girls know the same way. Guys know. If you never got attention, it shows in your adulthood. Regardless of your age. New attention shows very loudly.

Girl podcast will be right back back the let's say you've never met a man before, and your friend gives you a description of this guy. Girl. He five for one, he makes four a week. Sounds like somebody you might remotely think that day. No no you saying if you say no money, you know because to a man you said she had no money. She has no education, but she got no money knowing it, but she bade you. Still most hidden who they are they gonna fun with that.

That's the differencetween me and and pointed out men. You don't care about your education, you don't care about your money. I care about what she looks like. That was a wagon, beautiful, feminine. He had the acronym for pretty much all. I get what he was saying. You know what I say? Women that face spans out there like that. You know donald women know how many McDonald women? How many McDonald's women

smash me? I'm the one man right right? You don't smash your other comedy and be like, hey, where you at? Where I need to be? H big head slapped me out. Depending upon their experience, what they've been through, what past relationship looks like, and that's also driving a lot of people's preferences and what they think they can get because a man that just cashed his check, that's not looking amazing that day, but he just cashed his check's feeling

really great about himself. He's feeling really good. He didn't got all his ones in his pocket, so that has boosted his ego. So that drives a man too, could drive a man to a certain type of woman. Also, don't let's like a woman like a woman. You know, they just say a lot of ball players. They think they're supposed to keep getting ball players for some reason. That's how they feel, you know, so like they're not just gonna say, oh, well you got the average Joe.

Did you know, make good money or whatever? You know, good looking guy. Eventually reality does call. But go home describes a lot of women, right that. That's that's it. Like that you say, your life starting to show. Yeah, your stomach getting big, it's time come on back home, Like, come on back home and just let me out. You should look at your NFL career, your first contract through your twenties. That's when you get all the money. Everybody

want to recruit you. Everybody wants to bring you on the team, and I don't care how good you is. Once you hit that second contract, how good? You said, the second contract you're not as worth as much as the first contract. And if you make it to the third contract your forties, you're not what you as your

second second contract first contract. We don't know enough to know what we are even negotiating for it yet, but that's what we want you to right because when you hittract when your forties is like, that's most players that's getting drafted, all pretty much making the same money. But that second contract is the one yea and I want to exactly you want to date, you know, other races and everything like that. It's the same thing. Both sides

have equal opportunity to do whatever that they want. It's a certain group of people that you're talking to, so where between the age and the classiesm that we're talking about that that applies to, but that this whole rhetoric doesn't apply to everybody. Pretty persistent across the board. And Kevin said, for for those women that wanted these high value men, he said, how many do you know? They

didn't open? So that goes back to what you said, like, if how do you want this and you're not that and you don't even know those people you're not even in those social settings. Even I think every man a greevance with you on that. I don't think you're an argument from us with that. You don't have one. So biblica. Fox called Kevin a hypocrite right because of the way that he lived his life. Um, she said he did what he told women uh not to do? What was that?

This is this is right after Kevin died. She had made the comment. She called Kevin a hypocrite and said that he was having uh he did with he won women again and that was he was with a woman that was not black. And that's that's that's what she said. He was with a woman that was not black and she was uh in her opinion, I guess overweight and what so that's that's that's a complete farce. She's obviously uninformed. Yeah, probably should watch it because she's gonna get herself for

defamation damn lawsuit that's from the or or. Uh. These disparaging remarks are just gonna cause for his fan base to um. Definitely already just a lot of times we we we balked at the idea of let's wait to get all the facts and before we make a decision. Vivica Fox and all of these different people have obviously made a crucial era and jumping to conclusions without even knowing the facts. They're basing their information on what's on

the internet. And if you begin to base your information and your knowledge on the Internet purely without double checking, you're gonna make a mistake. And that's what you saw happen there. So I'm I would suggest that all of these periodicals, media media, take out l A Times, the New York Times, begin to very be very careful with the statements that they're making. Again, I'm not representing the estate of Kevin Samuels. He has his own attorneys for that.

We're in talks with the same lawyers who represented uh Cardi b both in in Atlanta and New York, and they should probably be very careful about this. You know this again, this is my friend, okay, and you know I look forward to doing business with him. But the thing that I'm looking out for now is his mother and his daughter who's trying to graduate from college on Saturday, and for her to see her she is not her

father is not. His only daughter is graduated from college on Saturday, and he's not gonna be there to see her. His poor mother, who didn't even know he was famous, had to learn about her son dying from the internet. There have been news reporters contacting his mother, who was in her seventies, to try to get her response to the n one tape where this woman is frantically trying to save his life. They want her response. This has

been a despicable display all the way around. And when you have artists and entertainers like that who are just trouncing on his man's reputation, recognized that my friend is dead. He is dead, He is not here, he is not conscious. But his little girl and his mother have to see this, and so they should be much more responsible with the things that they say. And I'm not saying that as as an attorney or as a spokesperson, but as a human being. When you say vifica foxes in the case

study of what he's talking about. So she was, she's that chick, and now she's the old chick that don't get the dudes and the guys and the likes and the wants that she once was. And now somebody like them like like like she can just let me out, just right, really because I saw women. I saw women. I only saw women that was really angry that fit a bid. I saw some women disagree what he said, but only the anger and and and and the some of the nastiness always came for women to fit the

bill of what Kevin was talking about. They didn't actually listen to the whole thing. They once again, just the clips. I agree with you, because I only saw clips like on Instagram and stuff, and it would infuriate me because it was like, oh my gosh, like there's already so many young men that don't have male figures or father figures in their life. And if we're going to put toxicity in the mix where we already have that in our culture, right, like music, it's in everything. Um, this

is what this is all they have. But then a friend of ours was like, no, watch the full videos, like see the full message. And I think both of you are right. It is based on um, those of us that are tone sensitive, sometimes your message is not going to get across to me depending on the way that you say it. And it's okay, I know that about myself that made you feel like he was toxic. Um, let's see a basic summarization because I'm not going to quote this man. I cannot quote him. Um, two things,

one for for women. First, I'm just talking for me that you felt like, oh my god, he says, I'm horrible about me, that you should not date unless you have a certain amount of money. I don't remember exactly. Again, I felt like, especially men in their early twenties, you should be outdating and see what that looks like and feels like for you, so that you can figure it

out for yourself, like make your own path. Yes, you should be okay to where you can take a woman out, but don't wait until you have your life all the way together, because if you wait until your thirty five forty to date a woman for real, for the first time, it may not go so well. And that's my opinion. So you felt for men like that's so because you Women don't have the problems with what he said about men. They only have the problem and they say about women.

And if if I was talking to my son, I would tell my son to wait later in life before he getting a serious relationship. I don't think he was saying don't date well before you try of like wife someone up. You should take care of certain things in your life, so you'll be able to be that man that you want. My man tell him about how strong his sons is already, right, so he's teaching them there's

certain things, are certain values that they're gonna have. As a kid, my father told me as a man, the bare minimal, I should be a provider or what I said. I said the world was bare minimum and say that was it? He said, but that ba minimal. You got a lot of brothers that even covering that part, they ain't that bare minimal. They're not being the provider in

their homes. So why would you have a problem with him telling brothers go out there or four jobs if you have to, because they we want the high value woman too, So how are you gonna get the high value woman? Because that's why he was talking about to do? That was five one three hundred pounds making four hundred dollars. Like, why do you have a problem with the real have someone telling you the truth? Well, if you I didn't say that, right, like I gave you a very specific

example of what I had an issue with. I don't have an issue with him saying if you want to be that twelve percent man, go work those four jobs or however many jobs he said, work at McDonald's. You know again, I can't give you verbatim what this man said, and no disrespect to anything that he had to say. It was his opinion. We all have the right high opinions, um,

but I don't. The only thing I strongly disagree with is telling people not to go out and find themselves regardless of where they are, because there is someone, no matter what, that's gonna met you. Yeah, because he didn't say that, he didn't. Everybody's not gonna be work at McDonald's. Not to go get to McDonald's, girl, but he's. But his staying was get your ship together. And I'm gonna tell you something that resonated with me because I grew

up poor. I grew up disadvantage and a lot of the reason why that was so much trauma and trauma in my life was because of insufficient living. Uh. And so I recognized that early on. So I promised myself that I would not procreate and until I got some real money. No, I'm just enough money to take care of the babies, but enough for me to enjoy our life. Also,

I understood that at an early age. Because if you bring children into this world and you ain't got no fucking money, you're gonna bring them into a world where they're at a social disadvantage. They are gonna go out there. They're gonna see other kids having ship, and they're gonna want that ship, and they're gonna compromise their convictions. They're gonna compromise whatever it is you taught to them. It's gonna break down. It's gonna it's gonna break down all

those walls. They're gonna cross all those boundaries, and they're gonna become something that you don't want to see. So it is incompetent of all of us. I do believe that we get our ship together financially, especially a man at the bad minimum, you get your ship together financially before you start, you know, pro creating. And I'm gonna tell you something else. I don't even feel like having X. And I know I might be in this, I might be in the in the minority here. I don't know.

I don't feel like I don't feel like no, I don't this is me, this this is but this is me when I was even broke. I don't I'm not even the move for sex. If my ship ain't right, my money right, I can't even get excited. And that was that you in your early twies. In my early twinnies, because I was always about I understood I was on a mission. I knew I had to get the papers, I had to get to the PA. I'm not saying I didn't have sex. I'm not saying I didn't have sex.

I'm not saying I did not have sex. But I'm telling you it was difficult for me to really be there when I was broke, because I was always thinken by like I got to get out of this shifty as position, like I'm in another thing. Another Another thing is I do believe that sex is a reward for hard work. I agree that he was. He was a wealthy and so a lot of the concepts that he

got from, you know, I understand. For instance, Dr Francis Kress Wilson suggested that black men and women in this country should not get married before the age of thirty five of men, specifically in women thirty because of the system of white supremacy racism. Even the honor of alaj Muhammad spoke about black men getting themselves together cleaning themselves up before they decided to procreate, because all you do

is exactly what William Be said. You bring children into this world and you're ill prepared to take care of them.

I say the same things to my sons. And if you take that pressure off of them to be with a woman in their twenties when they're not ready, then you take that pressure off of them so they can then build themselves up and be the pillars of the black community that we need them to be, as opposed to rushing out there thinking their men before their time period and then doing something stupid or being feel feel like in order to prove myself to be a man, I have to sell drugs. I had to get money anyway.

I gotta get rich or die trying at nineteen years old. So yeah, I know, I understand, and all these men in here understand a masculine mentality, and Kevin Understanding understood it too, and that's why I said, look, get yourself together first, it's greater or later. Don't rush, because if you make these men feel rushed, they're gonna do what

you all call crazy things. That's why you have so much economic crime going on during Christmas men want to feel like men, so they go out and start robbing

grocery stores and banks and whatnot. And that's why you have such an uptick and crime and breaking the entries during these these time periods where men are expected to demand and the only way they're expected to meet the demand, and the only way you can meet that demand is through financial sufficiency to your woman and that and there's a lot of pressure on men to meet that, you know, those those terms. And let me ask the women in here, who amongst us are dating? Uh? Seeing a guy that

makes less than five a week? I want to wait listening? Okay, are you dating? Are you dating? You're not even dating at all? You know dating? Okay? How much you make mortifier? Okay? See that goes to Kevin's point, like we can talk about money all we want to, and we can try to put that number on it all we want to. But every single woman you know has a number? All right, what's that? What's the magic? Now? Every single woman has every single woman number? What's the best? What's the best?

You don't have you don't have another, you don't have enough? Man, So you're saying you gotta make no did you have a number you want, would you dat a man to make sure I don't know you would make that's good? No? You okay, but but it's okay. You don't want somebody to make more than fifty thou but you don't want to make over fifty thousands if he can like wrong point we're talking about how dude make fifty thousand, but

he good with it? You can thousand, definitely, not that's so much you can stress fifty thousand that somebody more than me. I want somebody to right her is more important than right now? Right he makes fifty right now, But but there's a plan to you know, I aim higher, get better thirty four. So what's like, how old is this dude that's making his fifty not younger than thirty? You got one more by the way, Yeah, and he's

making pip that you tell him about. He gonna have aspiration to make more, aspiration to make more, or he can Christ Jan or my situation, we're not value you make it. Then if you make it to forty and you're still making fifty gees, there's no Chris Jan in your way nowhere. Maybe if he went a lottery, maybe he's just I don't know. He This is the type

of nonsense that we're talking about. Right, If you fIF four years old and you make fifty thousand, there's no aspiration you you're thirty years old because you don't have a lot of aspirations and you're making fifty's have started sometimes shouldn't be. That's why we're not answering your question. Start over, Yeah, people do start over. A lot of

people start over in multimillion. I don't understand what every man that makes this magical amount of money and we're upset at them asking us for anything, and that's not the case. Say one more time, I'm missing Williams. So we might be on the other side of what you're describing.

That's what it sounds like to me at this table, like we may be a little bit money honestly with dated guy or one a dated guy to say that one to day to guy to make fifty I don't I don't know if that's true, because you may be at a table with women that believe in partnership exactly.

That's what I said. I'm not in a partnership. I'm not going to in a partnership and then you'll break up that mentality comes into play when the tables turner, because the tables can go and that's not fair because are you in the partner that's personal, that's what that's turn at time. And then y'all broke up. And then how do you like the partner to partners in general? I'm speaking, you know, like to like nice clothes? I

do you know, like nice wash? And I guess for me, like I'm okay with with taking care of what I need for myself first and foremost. Okay, I would never because I would never do that for myself without a partner. So my expectations for myself and first, and they're very high. That the davy you're embracing around, so that means that means you want to live a certain type of lifestyle and if you do, makes fifty ge gee partnership. But no,

you're not gonna be able to live that. Like I had a panel work I think you was that when a young lady was an attorney and she got up and said this nonsense, right, this this only I want to partnership and I want to love him from the south to the north, and then we'll come up together. She said she wanted to make a day to do like dollars go to voids revoting podcast will be right

back after the poet just talk about us aging out. Now, the ave is that, well, if we're talking about what Kevin was saying, he's referring to something that's been um In China, they have something called leftover Women. Let me give it to you. It's an article that came out about seven years ago, and China is going bankrupt because they have so many or actually a South Korea, they have so many women who are unmarried and they're not contributing to the tax base because women don't make enough

money to support themselves in in in the society. Same thing here in the United States. Men make more money, We contribute more to the tax base. It is the men's tax money that pays for the roads, that pays for the ambulance or the utilities that we use. It's men. So when a woman has a job she's not making, you are not paying enough back in the system to take care of her end of the social financial contract that you have with the country. So that's what's going on.

In South Korea. They refer to it as leftover women, and they point to the age of twenty seven, they are now having problems like and they are having problems with sustaining their country. And so Kevin quantified that and said, okay, well, black American women, the age is thirty five when they stopped being beneficial to uh and I don't want to he had this study down, but that's what he meant, and he's relating it to the United States. Here, ladies,

use this. This is what's going on in in South Korea, and it's also going on in Japan. So this is not just an American phenomenon. It's happening all of the western western based countries in Japan. I know people whood it's in the east, but it's they're still more Western than Eastern. Without giving a resolution to that, so at thirty five, you you you age out right, you're done? So what what is this suggestion that a woman should

do at that point? Lower your expectations? And so I had said that like previously that you know, what he says is harsh, the messaging, it stings, it's like a mean dad. But there's a lot of truth to what he says. I think his intent is to motivate, but it doesn't always do that. Like it goes in the

other directions sometimes because he throws in those. But you know, with the unrealistic expectations, he would ask you to be honest, he would ask you what you look like, and you're two hundred and seventy five pounds, like you was a ten stop. Come on, still think these ways that you can communicate effectively. We're giving with where you can because people will receive it if they can understand. They actually will receive it from entertainment. And it could be starting

somebody very calmly and tried to deliver it nicely. She did not get it. She kept saying, but but or I think, or I have a business story. But she kept making excuses. And then that's when he his brother brought it up. The more money I make and more educated you are, that you're more value to us per se. And if a man is really making money, like he's really making he's what they because I would call it

high value. Man. I say men to check all the boxes because I want to say I wouldn't want to say because he made more money than him, or he made more man of him that somehow he's more valuable. But they're about high value is low, So I say, check all the boxes. So if the more boxes you check, the more valuable you're gonna be in anything, whether it's a car, whether it's a commodity, whether it's a business where you know, whether it's relationships. The more the boxes

you check, the more value your you have. Women only checking four or five boxes trying to get a man with it checks tin boxes and it's just unrealistic. So I think then at the core he was saying, just be more realistic. Stop lying to yourself. That's what I always say when a woman said, well I date a man to make fifty and then use cold words like ambitious. No, it don't go together, right that that type of ambition.

Sometimes you might need the right woman by his side to get him to where he needs to go, because sometimes part times at different times. And like I said, we talked about COVID people starting over, like I mean just to put everything in a box, and said you need to make this amount of money, Like I just don't think that's really If you talk to me a man and made four hundred thousand dollars a year, right and then went through COVID and he's making fifty, that's

something totally different. What we're all saying is we don't want to use these one offs that women always do. I know somebody to live in Michigan where the woman makes six hundred thousand and he made twenty and they have a harmonious relationship. The fact that the matter is that usually doesn't work. So if you're forty years old and you're still making fifty and you've been making it for the last ten years of your life most of

the time, that is where your ambition lot. Now, there's nothing wrong with that because I got cousins that make fifty. They have great lives, but they're they're equally yoke with the woman that with they make forty or thirty, they make fifty, and lifestyle is that of right, that makes that type of money. But you have these women that want to live, you know, the three hundred four hundred dollar life, talking about what our day to do that make fifty and you got you know, you know, if

you even do it for yourself, it's even worse. You've got ten thousand dollars on your risks. It's just not gonna work. This is all based on math and data. When I haven't heard one of you say, oh the love or how this person makes me a criminal dollars a year. It happens like every woman that gets that makes that much less to him, that that loves her

to death is bored with him within a year. Well, look at our society now you're talking about so many women being unwed or the divorce rates being so high. If we're going based off of your numbers, don't match my numbers, or you know, because I'm living this way, I should be able to have ever any women or do whatever I want. If we're all gonna go by the same thing and we're all not matching up to that,

then where is that going to leave us? I think there's something that Kevin understood that a lot of us who study this relationship phenomena and understand love was never traditionally a part of marriage. It's a recent invention since the seventeen hundreds, partly that it was about duty and who matches well together. Your family has this land, Our family has this heard as cheap. So we're gonna come together and y'all are gonna make a family because it's

beneficial for society. What Kevin was pointing out, he always said, it's me me society that we have. So it's not about and today's day, it's about me, me, me, as opposed to the family that we're going to come together make so love it's not about marriage, is not about love. It's about duty. That's why those marriages lasted so long, because the duty outlasted the love. You can fall out of love pretty quickly because it's a feeling, you know, just like you can go for man had too angry,

too happy to say, but duty remains. And I think that's the thing Kevin is trying to point out. But another point that you had, you brought up how he talked to you. Now, I'm in a room full of guys. Imagine your football coach said, Hey, I want you to go over there and their crossed, you know, a hunter of yards and I want you to hit him full speed.

But okay, So why can't you talk to me in like that because they're masculine and they're gonna laugh at you, and they're not gonna hear you, and they're not gonna respect you. Now, I think what Kevin realized is that because of the society that we live in, because women have been women have been forced to work like men.

They've been taught to if you work like a man and think like a woman or something, and if you go to school and get a job and you know you act like a man, then you'll get treated better. But in effect, what's happened is they become masculine. And he pointed that out every night. So how do you talk to if you got to talk to a masculine man, rough for to click, you gotta trying to talk to a masculinized woman. I think that now that you see, that's not across the board. But I think that's what

he realized. And we're talking about communication, not what was said, but was an effective communication if he was If this guy was the type of person I could say, look, I want you to hit the three hole, talk the ball and he responded to that fine, But if I said, hey, get your butt through that all blah blah, it might need to happen. It's about effective communication. Remember, this is a business man that we're talking about, and businessmen don't

want to waste their time. So as a businessman, was he given an effective communication with what he was saying that that's what you have to look at. Sterilize it, recognize what this man was trying to do is separate yourself from your emotions. And I think you're getting better

understand that. We all agree to that if you feel back all those layers of chaos and you know, cut downs and being rude, that there's some evident truth to what he was saying, but it's just not if his intent is to help and to educate, you're gonna understand your audience, You're gonna lose a lot of people with the world because Kevin, what Kevin said, what Kevin said the way he said it, women would not be following him right now, they wouldn't not be talking about and

we would not even be doing this show right now if he said it in a nicey type of way. Because and here's the thing, women are not mad at him because of his delivery, because there are a penny of men out there on YouTube and social media that are making disparaging content about women every single day, and these women are not following these men. They followed Kevin because Kevin was charismatic. Kevin was stylish, he was handsome, he was educated, he had money, he had all the things,

and he was charming. He was funny, he had many of the attributes that women want, that they looked for and they dress why they with him saying, let me go listen to this guy who it's like the guy that I want, and he's saying ship telling me how to get one. So that's why I'm going to go here and listen to Kevin. That's why they were tuning in to listen to Kevin. And then like it's like the love guru here said, when they couldn't check those boxes, that's when it that's when it became a problem. I

do believe. I believe. I believe that the venom came from those who couldn't check those They couldn't check those boxes, and that's when that's when the venom came right. And

so then people automatically they completely disconnect. But if if, if we could get women and you can't get every woman to listen in with without emotion, but if I can listen because he didn't really bother me or really offended, because I honestly listened because I felt like, you know what, this could potentially be free game, So let me listen. Because if he thinks like this, then there's a lot of men that think like this. Million figure out how

to manipulate this. Every women that check most of the boxes listen. It would be just like somebody walked there here and say all broke niggers need to go home. Wouldn't not a must? Will be like damped get out of here. You know, we were angry because it wouldn't apply to us. You're right about it. We were not getting. What about the woman that's trying to be better though, because there's the flip side game that was trying to get. He gave that game. Did you did you listen? Yes,

he did. They didn't want to. Did you listen to something? You prove my point? Not ch, but you said the people who actually you said they check off the boxes or don't who listened to him said boxes listen? The ones that the least amount of boxes were angry. And

they're angry because he knew. She knew. You've been a church, and you've been a church and the preachers talking about something and you get offitted because they think they looking straight at him and they talking talking to him or them or her, Because y'all those chicks thought he was talking straight to them, calling the show. They needed the advice. I've never made a chick. That was a nine. That was upset of never never, We're not talking. But I'm

not gonna argue. But I think that some of the only time I got upset, Literally, the only time I really got upset was hearing the clips on Instagram and stuff about the scale for women. Oh you're this number, you're that number. Seeing clips of that without a true introduction or watching a full video, that's the only time I got upset. I felt like, man, for our community, this doesn't feel good at all. That was my introduction

by a white woman. But because I saw some white boys saying talking about scales, were you upset with I didn't see that, but that would have upset me if they were talking about us. But they scaled themselves. If they were saying, for our community, have scales if you if you're not attractive, we shouldn't know what to see. But they scaled themselves. He asked them, how do you feel? That's all I'm saying. If that was my introduction and

that was my that's the first thing I said. A lot of only judged him basis on the clips and not actually watched that. If you only said you're a teen, you're a three you're a one, you're a six. I would be offended. Just just if you sat in this room right now and scaled the four of us in here, I would be offended. It's uncomfortable. But but do you scale men all the time? I do not scale men.

So if a man walked in who was five ft one three pounds, example, I'm just saying finished because women how they say that, they say, uh, look at you? Didn't look at me? Right? Making make sense? Right? So like if I'm not that guy, like and I'm trying to highlight you, but I'm looking at myself. I'm thinking I'm the ship though, but you're not feeling that it's not for you. You would tell me if I tell you that, I tell you that I'm trying to highlight you.

I'm not five pound guy just trying to hide at you. What you're gonna say, You're gonna say, look at you. I'm not going to say that he really just trying to you know, like yeah, right, Like it's not even you know what you say how that would go? This is the universal for this bullshit. No, I mean, that's

that's basically what it is. That's basically how a lot of women think nowadays, it's just like it's like if you yeah, you're not gonna necessarily what I'm saying, like in general that you're thinking in your head, liked even like even think like before even you know, what made him think that he could come hid at me? Basically? Is it okay? That is it? Can can we is verbalize it? It's okay to judge people on how they look on the exterior, right, yes, okay. We we should

be able to say, we should be honest. It's hurtful. It's hurtful that we all can't receive a merit award for showing up and playing. It's hurtful that we all can't be tens. It's hurtful that we all can't have six facts. You know. But that's all right, you know, because we're all unique in our way and we all have our quality. May you may not have the physical beauty of this person or that person, but you're still a unique person. We have to learn to love ourselves.

I think that's the most important thing. And Kevin Samon's will simply point out, this is your this is I'm an image consultant. Here's the mirror, this is what you look like. Right now. That's not making me love myself. And you're not loving yourself. If you think you look other than what you really look like, you're delusional. But he wouldn't tell you you are four if you didn't ask him. But he's not just you, just lunt, but you look you give yourself even correct if they gave

themselves a number two high. Correct what I'm doing. You know what I'm doing. You know favors if you're six or four and I tell you you're not, because if you if I tell you a nine, then you try to play in the nine ball field actually playing playing in the four ball field. Then once you start, once you bring those expectations now and you start, did you start trying to find all the great boys and fours

and five dreaming? Right? You can live a better life, but you're gonna be a happy if you were a four, still think you should have a nine, seven, eight or nine. And it's the same thing with a man. If you're if you're not a nine or eight or seven, and you you're out there trying to get tens, I mean you're gonna have to spend a lot of money because otherwise you're not gonna get what you want. So what he gave you was the game without you even knowing it.

He was like, listen, you're four, you're for this is what you look like. Now, let's now that we have that know then go get that fault tune for two The Boys Were Gone Be podcast. This episode was produced by A King and brought to you by The Black Effect Podcast Network and I Heart Radio