Welcome to part two of my conversation with Dr. Steven Snyder! In part one, we explored why sex is more than just physical--it's deeply emotional, even regressive (meaning you kind of get a little dumber and a lot happier when you're aroused). And we discuss why the best sex often begins with an awareness and emotional presence. In part two, we'll be diving back into this conversation. You'll get to hear about how to put all these pieces in real life, specifically about his two-step framework an...
Jun 20, 2025•31 min•Ep. 246
When it comes to sexual arousal, many of us reach for that excited, giddy, sometimes silly, sometimes serious, joyful, fulfilling feelings in the company of someone else that matters so much to us. And how do you create a marriage relationship where there's room for two people to have a voice? And how do you create a sexual relationship where both people are excited and happy to be a part of it? Today's guest is Dr. Steven Snyder. He is a sex therapist from New York City, and the author of the b...
Jun 20, 2025•22 min•Ep. 245
Let's be honest. Sexual fantasy is a weird part of being human. In this episode with my guest and fellow Get Your Marriage On coach, Amy Langford , we tackle real listener questions about sexual fantasy in marriage — the kind that stir up curiosity, shame, arousal, and everything in between. What does it mean when you’re turned on by something that goes against your values? What if your spouse says they don’t have any fantasies? Is it wrong to mentally engage with fiction or past experiences dur...
Jun 13, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 244
One pattern I've noticed about couples with great sex lives over the years is that they make time to be emotionally connected and make room for romance and fun in their marriage. A date night is a great way to do that and to make it easy, I've brought on a guest from The Dating Divas . This website has tons of the ideas for married couples to keep dating in their marriages, and today we're talking about seven sexy ideas for date nights for the summer. (And we even have a cheat sheet for you to a...
Jun 04, 2025•28 min•Ep. 243
Are there lessons we can learn from those that have gone through marital infidelity and use those lessons to improve our marriages today? I personally haven't dealt with this, but I know of many people that have just experienced the great heartache and the trouble that's come through infidelity in their marriage. So today I sat down with a longtime friend of mine and fellow marriage coach, Andrea Giles . She's experienced firsthand the heartbreaking reality of infidelity in marriage in her first...
May 30, 2025•34 min•Ep. 242
One thing I've noticed about higher desire wives: they feel so lonely. They think they're the only wife on the plane that has the higher desire for sex. They often talk about how they hear about their other lady friends complain about how their husbands are always pursuing them and wanting to have sex with them and how they're tired of that. And the higher desire wives themselves think, "If only my husband pursued me that way....Is something wrong with me? Did I marry the wrong person?" My great...
May 23, 2025•42 min•Ep. 241
In this episode, I'm getting specific with actionable tactics while answering questions about the following: how to grow closer together emotionally overcoming body image concerns as it relates to sex. why women fake orgasms enhancing sexual intimacy with sex toys what the research says about pornography use and its impact on couples exploring role play in relationships, and most importantly, keeping the erotic energy alive and long-term marriage relationships. I was a guest on a podcast titled ...
May 16, 2025•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 240
This episode is all about priming your mind and relationship for great sex. Years ago, Dr. Morgan Cutlip , who is my guest on this episode today, made her first appearance on my podcast, (and if you want to listen to it, it's episode number 50) . What she taught me then about the mental load made a deep impression on me. The mental load as it's often called, is this invisible, never ending to-do list, that is usually carried more by the wives than husbands in marriages, even if both spouses are ...
May 09, 2025•36 min•Ep. 239
I read an excellent book a few years ago. It's for parents talking to their kids about sex. There was a chapter towards the end of the book titled Honeymoon Horror Stories, which really caught my eye and changed the way I think about the importance of getting and teaching our next generation a solid sex education as part of their research for the book. The authors collected many true stories of Christian couples about their struggles with their first experiences with sex and other sexual struggl...
May 02, 2025•53 min•Ep. 238
Women's bodies and brains undergo large changes during puberty, childbirth and menopause. Just like how sexuality hasn't been talked about much in previous generations, at least not in a positive light, menopause also hasn't been a free topic of conversation. It might be a bit funny that a dude is doing an episode about menopause, but I'm really curious about this amazing natural process that women undergo. And I'm not the only one. We often have questions in our private Facebook group. I admit,...
Apr 25, 2025•38 min
Today I want to talk to those who are in a marriage where sex pretty good but maybe a little monotonous at times. Maybe it feels like it's the same old, same old. You wanna kind of spice it up, but then there's other factors involved, including feeling tired. Perhaps it feels like maybe sex is good enough, but you'd really like get to the next great level. This is also an episode for those where you feel like you're really not into it, but you do sex anyway because you know it's good for your ma...
Apr 18, 2025•38 min•Ep. 236
Ever play the game "Two Truths and a Lie"? (A person makes three statements, and you guess which two are factual and which one is false.) Well, we get to play that game today on our episode with my guests Sheila Wray Gregoire and her husband Keith (return guests to the Get Your Marriage On Podcast). The Gregoires completed extensive research, surveying thousands of Christian couples, and recently published their findings in a new book called The Marriage You Want . I've read this book and I thin...
Apr 11, 2025•33 min•Ep. 235
Have you ever received really bad marriage advice? Today I have the privilege of interviewing Kendra Nielson , a fellow marriage coach and therapist. Together we address common pieces of marriage advice that often miss the mark, such as "Never go to bed angry," or "Always put your spouse first," and "Your spouse should be your best friend." And of course we reinterpret these peices of advice for healthier marriage relationships. Understanding this is crucial in order to have a healthy sexual rel...
Apr 04, 2025•24 min•Ep. 234
I love helping couples through Get Your Marriage On to help them through challenges, to overcome issues in intimacy, and to walk away with feeling like they have a brand new lease on their marriage and realizing how much joy and fun that a good sexual relationship can bring. And one such couple is who I have on my podcast today: Jennifer and Jeff (names have been changed). They've been very generous and vulnerable to share their experience with their marriage journey with you. Some things to lis...
Mar 28, 2025•34 min•Ep. 233
Just about every couple deals with libido differences from time to time. It seems though, as couples approach middle age and begin to face the second half of their life, the differences in sexual desire, which may have been a back burner issue in the marriage up until that time, seem to become front and center. It's the elephant in the room that the couple can no longer ignore. I am absolutely passionate about what I wanna share with you in today's episode. This is very important work that I've ...
Mar 21, 2025•43 min
Everyone struggles with feelings of self-worth and self-acceptance from time to time. Our bodies are sacred; as the Bible says, we're created in God's image. Yet the enemy of our souls does what he can to discredit and devalue our worth, often by casting shade about our own body image. Today you get to meet Hope Orr, a skilled boudoir photographer and owner of Elevated Boudoir , as we talk about her journey, experiences, and the profound impact boudoir photography has had on herself and her clie...
Mar 14, 2025•48 min•Ep. 231
A recurring theme I've noticed in over 200 episodes of the Get Your Marriage On podcast is that those who are willing to push themselves a little outside their comfort zone experience the most joy and growth in their relationships. And this is also consistent with my own experience. My guest today is Kaitlin Hawes. She's a mom and a wife with a great message. You'll get to hear about what inspired her to reconsider her level of enthusiasm for sexual connection in her marriage and what inspired h...
Mar 07, 2025•41 min•Ep. 230
If you were to pause and think about your very best sexual experiences that you've ever had, can you identify what made them so great? For many years, academics studying human sexuality at universities were primarily interested in figuring out what goes wrong in the bedroom so they can fix it and get back up to baseline functioning. But, the guest I interview in this episode took a very different approach: she didn't just want to study people who are experiencing sexual dysfunction, she wanted t...
Feb 28, 2025•26 min•Ep. 229
Do you ever feel like a failure at sex? In this episode, I'll be breaking down why perfectionism is the enemy of good sex and how you can build a virtuous cycle of intimacy with small, consistent wins. I'll share real stories, practical strategies, and a fresh way to think about sex that takes the pressure off and brings the pleasure back. If you're ready to ditch the pass fail mentality in the bedroom and start experiencing deeper connection with your spouse, you won't want to miss this episode...
Feb 20, 2025•26 min•Ep. 228
The number one libido killer is stress. And experiencing stress from time to time is just a part of life; however, there are skills out there that'll help you manage it better. One of the black belt sex tips I often teach is a concept called "calm the heck down," which, if you've listened to my podcast for a while, you'll see this theme popping up often. It's the ability to settle down within your own skin and be fully present in the moment. This, along with a few other skills, are essential to ...
Feb 14, 2025•47 min•Ep. 227
Today's episode is about flirting and having fun by trying on a different persona on a date night. It's about using the power of role play to infuse fresh life into your marriage! It's like putting on a different outfit than the one you usually wear and being playful. And because this is get your marriage on, we'll add a sexy twist to it, of course! My guest is my friend, Katie Runyan. She's the founder of Faithful Fling, an online resource my wife and I use to get creative ideas for date night....
Feb 07, 2025•40 min•Ep. 226
Our childhood and families of origin have a profound impact on our worldviews, including our attitudes towards sex and intimacy. Not knowing anything different, for the most part, we tend to intuitively model what we've seen and absorbed from the culture we grew up in. My wife and I are blessed to come from wonderful families. We had good childhoods and felt the support and care of our parents, which I'm very grateful for. Yet, after we were married, we were anxious about sex, which we felt was ...
Jan 31, 2025•37 min•Ep. 225
Take a moment to think about the evolution of your own sexual journey as a couple. How far have you come in the last year? Or the last two years, or the last five years? Is what's important to you today the same as what was important to you in the last two or five years? I bet it's different. It's then reasonable to assume that what's important to you today sexually could be different a year or five or even ten years from now. And this episode, you'll get to hear this conversation I had with Amy...
Jan 24, 2025•40 min•Ep. 224
This is part two of the BDSM episodes. Last week we talked about how a BDSM is a exchange of erotic energy and how it's built upon the principles of trust and communication. And in a scene or experience, you have one partner acting in the dominant role and the other in the submissive role. And it's the submissive person who's really in charge of the whole experience. He or she is the one saying "yes, no, maybe, etc." And it's really about creating an experience together that you'll both really e...
Jan 17, 2025•28 min•Ep. 223
Like many of you, I've had questions about BDSM for a long time. I've had preconceived ideas of what it was and wondered how it fits into my faith and the style of intimate play my wife and I enjoy. I have also received emails and DMS from many of you listeners asking me about BDSM in the context of a faithful Christian marriage. I've been hesitant in doing an episode about this for a long time, until I found the right guest. I used to think BDSM was dark and evil--a thinly disguised form of rap...
Jan 10, 2025•46 min•Ep. 222
Ever feel like you wish your wife was a little less vanilla? Every wish your spouse would be more enthusiastic about trying new things in the bedroom (or out of the bedroom for that matter)? Ever ask your spouse what their fantasies are, and they look at you with a blank stare or an "I don't know"? Ever get frustrated when, after a discussion about your sex life and things get better for about a week or so, and then fizzle and go back to the way they used to be? A husband recently emailed me wit...
Jan 03, 2025•28 min•Ep. 221
I studied martial arts for 13 years when I was younger and I became proficient in three different styles of Karate and Kenpo. As you progress towards being a black belt, the fundamentals don't change, but your ability to be more precise and skilled in using those fundamentals improves dramatically. Like in my martial arts training to being a better lover, the fundamentals such as communication, touch and being present with arousal, and so on don't change. But your ability to use those fundamenta...
Dec 27, 2024•57 min•Ep. 220
I am a big believer in play in the bedroom, and I'm excited that you'll get to join me in this conversation with Adam and Karissa King today. Adam and Karissa have a fun Instagram account called Dear Young, Married Couple . And that's how I first met them a few years ago. And get this. They are both marriage counselors. It's a husband and wife team and they are an absolute hoot as you'll get to hear today. I'm grateful we can talk about this topic today because I think all of us need a little bo...
Dec 20, 2024•42 min•Ep. 219
It's hard to believe that my wife and I started this work eight years ago! At that time we were 13 years into a happy marriage, but something was missing. We just didn't quite know what it was. And that's when a friend opened up to me about his sex life and taught me about how a healthy, vibrant sexual relationship permeates not only the marriage relationship, but adds texture color in life to all other aspects of life, too. As we focused on enhancing our sexual intimacy as a couple, what my fri...
Dec 13, 2024•45 min•Ep. 218
I used to think the word erotic was associated with unsavory things like X-rated films, Las Vegas billboards, or sites are not supposed to visit online. But the more I've done this work with myself and in my marriage and with other couples, the more I've come to love eroticism. The root word for erotic is the Greek word eros , which literally means desire. Plato, a Greek philosopher, taught that eros is more than just sexual desire; it's the life force, passionate power that drives individuals t...
Dec 06, 2024•40 min•Ep. 217
