Mid-Week Mom Chat: Vision Boards.

how we want to live. I think it's just such a great time to take a breath, take a break, and really focus in on what we want to put out into the world every new year, because if we don't take a minute to think about it and to get clear, then it's so easy just to get caught up in life and let life start leading us and

reacting instead of responding, instead of being intentional. And so every New Year I like to I had been just writing down all my goals and visions for the year in a note in my phone, and I think that's sorry. I'm kind of recovering from allergies, so my voice sounds a little more deep and manly today. Uh. And I'm just drinking my coffee as well, so if I have to take SIPs of coffee, I might have to take a long little like a few second breaks to take

a few SIPs of coffee. You know how it is when you have a baby, you got to get your coffee in anyway, I think it's just really amazing to start each new year with a vision board. And I had been doing that, just writing into my phone on a note, writing down all my goals and dreams and

like dreams for my family, like family goals. Last year on the dream was to have a baby, um dreams for my career, dreams for I even put Michael's career on there because he does he writes his visions down also, and so I like to put his visions on the vision board. And so I just encourage you all to take a minute and sit down, get very clear on what it is that you want to achieve this year.

And it doesn't have to be these great successes, like career successes, like you don't have to become this business mogul or make millions of dollars or do anything crazy. But I do think it is important two know where you want to go, like dive into your soul. We all came here to this earth with the soul's mission, is what I believe. I believe that we came to this earth to have an experience, and each one of us has a different blueprint on our heart that we

desire to experience in this earth. And you know what it is, because when you're doing what feels right to you, when you're on your path, it feels free, it feels right, it feels easy, it feels joyous, it feels like you're elated. You're like, oh my god, I could I just love doing this. I could do this forever. I feel so recharged. When you're not on your path, you feel drained, you feel resentful, you feel resistance, you feel angry, you feel

all the negative feelings. And so I have lived both sides of that coin, where I have been on my path and felt free and light and engaged in love with what I'm doing, and I've also been on the path where I have felt so much resistance it literally made me like keel over and have a panic attack. So I don't know if you relate to that, but

I do. And so, after like examining my life and realizing the difference, I am very intentional about making sure that I live a life where I feel elated and joyful and happy and even though you can't do that every day because we're humans and life happens, you can strive for it. And to me, a big way that I stay in the light and on my path is by knowing where I want to go. And to me, I'm not someone who can just I have to get clear. I can't just like start living and be like, oh, yeah,

this is great, this is great. I need to like sit down, get intentional and get clear on what it is that I am trying to do in this life. And I think trying to figure out your whole life is too much at once. So I think breaking it down in your segments is great because, and like I said,

each new year, you get a chance to reassess. You can examine the past year and see what was working for you, what wasn't, Where were you stressed, Where weren't you stressed, what made you happy, what didn't, And then you can tweak your vision. You don't have to get all figured out at once, But I do think for me and I think this helps a lot of people. To have a clear set intention and roadmap of what

you want to do this year is so helpful. So at the beginning of each year, I'm meeting with my friends. Um when this podcast comes out next week. I will be meeting with my friends the following week on jan And there's four of us who made vision boards last year. My friend Kristen Brust, who y'all should follow her a little bit fancy. She's amazing. She has a new podcast coming out. Also my friend Mallory Irvine who's so super inspiring. She is just next level inspiration. She has a podcast

called living Fully. Y'all should follow her to check her out. Mallory Irvine. And my other friend Ashley Wilson, who is all about living intentionally and she has a great blog. She's a beautiful Instagram page where she just talks about things that she loves intentionally and like intentional motherhood, all sorts of stuff and hers is bows and Ashley b E A U S and Ashley, So check all of

them out. And we made vision boards last year and it was so awesome to see it on my wall every single day because I put it in my bath room above the toilet, so beautiful and romantic and sexy and every because like you go in your bathroom every single day, I mean you take a shower in there,

let's just be wrong. You should shower and shape in your bathroom, so that is a place that you're all the time, and it's a personal spot because I feel like in your personal bathroom, really only you are going in there and your husband, I mean other people, your close friends may pop in there, but not really. I'm sorry that I am getting over this cough and you are having to hear me cough and like clear my throat.

I'm gonna try not to because I know it's annoying. Um, but it's crazy how when you look at it every day, it seeps into your mind and it helps you stay clear.

And that was something that was different for me this year than just having it written down because I've always been a goal writer, Like I have notebooks upon notebooks upon notebooks of writing down my visions, of writing down my goals, of writing down my dreams, and like I've gone back and looked at my notebooks and I have checked off every single thing and then the thing in some parts in my notebooks that I've written, because I've

done this for years. For each year, I would pretty much just write now my goals and then I would rewrite them down and rewrite them down. Like every month, I would just clean them up and like take some stuff off that wasn't resonating anymore, and like just make them more precise. And that's the thing. I could ex

off things that didn't feel right. Like I started off with my notebooks of everything that I had could possibly dream of that I wanted to do, and then I started diving into the year, diving into my career more and more, and I'd be like, Okay, you know what, Actually that doesn't feel right anymore. I'm going to take that off. That's not really a goal that I want to do, So you could just clean it up as the year goes on. And I went back and I checked.

I've looked through all my notebooks and pretty much everything that I really wanted to accomplish as I have accomplished, which is amazing. So the power of taking it to an actual picture board was really amazing because now I'm looking at things and I might so I'm not just like seeing them in writing and then creating a imaginary picture. I'm actually like looking at pictures on a board every single day, and these pictures it just makes it so much more real. So I really think taking it to

the board. It's kind of next level and helps things materialize faster. So I'll go ahead and tell you all my goals because I think it's great to speak him out loud. So these are the goals that I'm going to be putting on my vision board, and um, I'm gonna find pictures and you know, just trying to match my goals. But my main goal is to trust. That's my word for the year. I like to pick a

word every year. This year, it's trusting. It's trust because after having Sunny, I started having a lot of anxiety, so much anxiety, um, just about everything that could go wrong, and I think that that's normal to feel. Also, I mean,

I'm still coming off of being completely hormonal. If she's just three almost four months old now, and you know, you just fall more in love with your baby every single day, and it's just this huge responsibility that's completely on your shoulders and your your partner's shoulders and sometimes you know single parents, like it's all on your shoulders

and it's just such a responsibility. It is such a privilege, but it is such a responsibility that for me, I think I got overwhelmed with everything that could go wrong because knowing that I and my husband are sole in charge of keeping her alive. It's just like, oh my gosh, what if something goes wrong, then it's it's my fault. Then I'm the only one to blame. And I will never be able to live with this. And but you

can't live like that, That's what I've realized. You can't live in crippling anxiety because that's no way to live, and then you miss the joy of the blessings in your life, Like Sonny is the biggest blessing I've ever had in my life. So why am I going to wake up every day and be crippled by anxiety of the things that are not that it could go wrong? Instead, why don't I wake up every day and be surrounded

by joy of all the blessings she brings. And my brother in law told me this, and I don't know if this quote's original to him, but I'm gonna get it wrong. But something like God doesn't want us to live to like to live through worries twice, and that's not how it goes. But it's like, basically, you're not supposed to live through hard times twice. Like whatever you're thinking is going to happen in your worries, it's most likely not going to happen. Something else is going to happen.

When has the things that you've worried about really actually happened. It's always some random thing we worry about, things that we see, that we hear, that we know about that's happening in the world. But more likely that is not going to be the incidents that we personally deal with, because those already happened elsewhere. That's already someone else's story. Our story is unique to ourselves, and we can't prepare for everything. There's just no way. We don't even know

what can happen in this world. It's all freak stuff, you know. And so I feel like for me, my word is trust. I do not want to live in anxiety anymore. And for me, the way to combat anxiety is lean more into God. And that's the only way I can do it, like I cannot do it on

my own. And so I think having Sonny is making me realize, Like I wrote a post about this on my Instagram, Um, I'm just talking about my word for the year, And Sonny has made me realize the areas of my life that I have insecurities in and that I need to work on. And really, what it all boils down to is trusting God because it's not up to me to make this life perfect for her. I can only do the best I can do. I know I'm going to do my very best every single day.

I know I'm gonna make choices, good choices, the best that I can make every day, and I cannot live in fear beyond that, and I want to enjoy her life. And so my word is trust. So in the center of my vision board, I'm going to put trust because I need to trust God. I need to trust the flow of this life. I need to trust my instincts. I need to trust in Sunny's purpose and her life.

Trust in Michael's flow for his life. Trust trust, trust that God is in control and that there is a bigger plan at at work here that is not my own. Because once I try to micromanage, and once I try to make this life go the way I want to, that is when my anxiety kicks into full force, and I don't want to live like that. So trust is my main goal for this year. And with trust comes

the ability to hand over my anxiety to God. Because if I trust that he's in control role, and if I trust that I'm following the nudges he puts in my heart, if I trust that I'm doing the best that I can, I can get my worries immediately over to him and I don't have to carry them. And that is what I want to live like. I do not want to carry burdens because they're not mine to

carry their God's God will carry them for us. And I am going to take full advantage of his love for me because it's miserable, not like I want to be wrapped up in God's love. I want to be wrapped up knowing that He is here for me, that he will carry these burdens for me, that he has my life, he has me in his hands, he is studying in his hands. He as Michael, and his hands, he as all of us in his hands. So I Am not going to carry the burden of worrying about

every little detail. So trust I am rambling about that. But that's a big deal for me this year, and that's a big focus for me. And I'm gonna work every day to trust and let go of worry. And I encourage all your mamas and parents and everyone out there to do that as well, because living in in anxiety is the worst. It is the worst, the worst, the worst, and we don't have to do it. We have a resource in God too let go of that. So let's all try to do that together. So trust

is my word. And then with my career, with my podcast, I have had so much fulfillment doing this podcast, and I am so incredibly grateful for all of you who have tuned in, joined in, become a part of this community with me, because something happened last year when I really started focusing on just having honest conversations with honest women.

And sometimes I'll throw some guys in here that that are a part of the same kind of conversation that we're having, like real, heartfelt, soulful, let's get to the nuts and both of life. And if it makes sense for a guy to come on, I'm definitely not going to exclude men. But I have just loved getting to be with women and have these intimate, deep conversation it is about their life now, especially after being a mom,

Like I want to know how people navigate. I want to know how you've navigated all the anxiety of being a mother, how you've navigated having your career and being a mother, how you've chosen to give up your career, how you navigate marriage, how you navigate family life, how you navigate insecurities and overcoming them. Because now that I'm thirty six years old, I'm like, dang it, we all are grappling with some major insecurities and self worth issues,

and let's not try to hide this. Let's like talk about them because every single one of us, as a woman, it's going through stuff and there's nothing to be ashamed about because all all of us are dealing with something and let's just talk about it and be a community and support each other instead of trying to hide behind this perfection image that that we thought we had to. But now, like I feel like the veil is just

being lifted. And to me, that is why I'm so grateful for social media outlets like my podcasts and outlets where we can sit down and have real conversations, because so many of us are using social media and joining

in social media communities to be real. And that is what I have found with all of you is ever since I've started having these real, honest conversations with women you guys have started participating, and I get so many messages and so many comments from y'all saying like, oh my gosh, I relate to this, Thank you for talking about this. This is like what I'm going through, And that is my goal. I want us to not feel alone.

I want every single one of us who are out there doing the best we can, whether we are married, not married, looking for love, can't find it, feel unworthy, raising children with a partner, raising children on our own, trying to figure out our career, just struggling with all these big, huge life questions, feeling overcoming incidents that happened to us that make us feel insecure or unlovable, like

all this stuff. We do not have to feel alone because when you listen to the stories of these women that I'm talking with, they are sharing that they have gone through this. They have been through really hard times and it is not what defines us. Yes, it is moment, Okay, it does define us. It is a These are huge moments in our lives that are defining, but it doesn't have to be who we are. We can use them as lessons, we can use them as stepping stones, we

can use them as our message to the world. So many times, more often than not, the pain that we have to go through is actually our message to the world if we can get on the other side of it.

But it is up to us to take hold of that pain, to take hold of that fear of exposing ourselves thinking that we won't be loved, to realize that once you can talk about something, and once you can get on the other side of it and share your story, the impact you can have, the amount of people that you can reach, the healing that can be done is

just exponential. And so that is why I have loved having honest conversations, because the healing that is happening, it heals me every time I have a conversation with one of these women, and I know it oftentimes heals my guests. Getting to just talk about stories I've had so many times I'm interviewing an amazing woman and they're like, oh my gosh, I didn't even realize this was happening in my life. Oh my gosh, I didn't even put that together.

This is so healing. And then I hear from you guys, like, wow, that was such a healing story. That person really inspired me,

And it is everything to me. It makes me feel like this is worth it, Like this is like the work in life that I want to do because I love having conversations and I love having real intimate conversations, and I'm just so grateful that I have the access to talk to all these amazing women who are willing to share, and then I have the access to you guys who are joining in and being a part of this,

and it is just so overwhelming. It feels I feel so much love, and I hope that you guys feel that love, because that is the point of all this, just to know that we are in this thing together. Let's stick together, Let's support each other. Let's not try to be perfect, and let's not let's let's not be ashamed of who we are. We can just be proud of who we are. Let's own our stories. That is

my goal. So I appreciate you guys for that. So I just want my podcast to keep impacting, to keep growing, to keep having amazing guests on and I eventually want a goal for me myself at the end of this year is I want to take my podcast on a

little podcast tour. I don't know exactly where, and it doesn't want I don't want to start off huge, but I would like to make it a show where I go to cities and have these conversations live and actually I love to hear you'll speedback if you think that's something that you'll be interested in me doing because and have guests come with me and just have like awesome intimate conversations and have it like in a show type form.

So that's a goal, is to take my podcast on the road just just a little bit at the end of this year. Um, So let me know if that's something you think that would be cool, because I feel inclined to do that. I feel like that's my next step with this in growing it, and then eventually I would love to somehow turn Get Real into a book, like have some sort of book that goes along with it. Whether I'm just focusing on stories of conversations I've had,

whether I don't know what. Maybe it's like I assess lessons I've learned from doing these interviews and turn them into chapters and use examples. I don't know exactly how the book would unfold, but that's a goal, is to have a book that kind of just goes along with all these messages that keep coming out of this podcast. UM, so also any tips or ideas that you guys have on that share with me, because I love y'all's input.

But that's a goal, So taking my podcast on the road, doing a tour, having a book, um and then I don't know what this would look like, but I see everything is stemming from this podcast, Like this podcast isn't is the nuts and bolts of who I am, and it's the messages that I want to get across. I just wanted to have the as big of life as it can get. So one day I would love to see Get Real turned into some sort of like digital TV show or TV show or radio show or something.

I don't know, or maybe it just stays the podcast. I'm not sure, but I just see it growing in the reach, like maybe we add a visual element to it somehow. Maybe that just means I make it like a talk show for a YouTube channel. I don't know exactly, but I see like a visual element joining Get Real and making it more interactive in that way where you can actually like participate with me and my guests visually and see us on like a screen. So I mean, I would love it to be some sort of TV thing,

but I don't know. I don't know how that is, or even radio, I'm not sure, or maybe we just keep it the podcast. I'm not sure, but those are My goal for the podcast is just keep growing, growing it, go on a little podcast tour, and start preparing for a book to be in association with this podcast. Um And then for my family, I just want to simplify. I want to be present. I want to be completely

um engaged in Sunday's life and Michael's life. I I want to be able to participate with Michael when he's obviously, if you all have been following me, i'll know he's a musician. He travels, and he has an exciting year with a new record and a new single and new music and new opportunities, and he's going to be chasing those, which is so exciting, and I love to be able

to join him on that. So not all the time, because I don't want to leave Sonny and we can't take her everywhere, but I want to be able to go with him to certain events and be a part of that. So but I also I just want to be present with my family, and so that's another big goal. I've chased and chased and chase for so long, and I've gotten so involved with like the community, and I was a person who was always going to everything all the time. And now this is crazy because I've always

been a yes person. But this year is my year of no. I'm going to be a no person this year, which is crazy to think because everyone's like, say yes to this, say yes to this, and I've always been that person that says yes, yes, yes, But now I'm no, no, no, because what I have, the joy that I have in my life is right in front of me right now. I'm so grateful I had all those years where I got to hustle and literally like do everything and have the freedom to do that. But now that Sunny is

here after, my time is so valuable to me. There I have so little free time because I'm I have the gift to be a hands on mom because with my podcast, I can make my own schedule and we're from home, and I'm so thankful for that. I know a lot of people don't have that option, and we

all have to do what we have to do. Um, but I think all of us have to figure out how to use the time that we do have wisely, and for me, I don't want I want to be home with my family as much as possible, and so I am saying no unless something is a hell yes. My sister told me this, she got it from someone I don't I forgot who, but I love this. Unless it is a hell yes, then it's a hell no for me this year, and I'm excited about that. I'm excited about scaling back on being busy and more focused

on purposeful living. And to me, the three things that are really the only things I want to spend my time on our my family, which is Michael Sonny, and then my extended family, and obviously like close friends. I want to be there for my close friends. I want

to be there for my family. I want to really pour into my podcast because that is very important to me and it's such an outlet for my heart and I feel like it is very important work that I have been blessed with the ability to be the vessel to do and I want to keep pouring into that. And then I want to be able to have adventure and experiences with Michael, and honestly, that would go back to my number one family. So really it's just two things.

Focus on family and have building a life an adventure an adventureful that's not a word, an adventurous life that is UM, really focused and intentional. I want to focus on that, and then I want to focus on really having an intentional UM being intentional with my podcast. So those are my goals. It's scaled back this year for me. UM. Before I had tons of goals on there, but now I just I really want to focus on what's right in front of me. And I'm so thankful for what's

right in front of me. I'm so blessed for it. I've prayed for all of this to happen, and it's all shown up for me at this point. I have had seasons of life where I have been so lost and so confused, and I have had no idea where

I was going. And if you're in one of those seasons right now and you're trying to like write a vision board or create a vision board, I would just start really small, just really get quiet, and try to focus on what has brought you joy in your life, like when you're doing something, when you've done things in life, I focus on the things that have brought you the most joy in your life that could turn into your career or that are just heart fulfilling, whether it's like, Okay,

when I spend time with this person and we did this, I had so much joy, or when I was able to give back in this way, I had so much joy. And just write down where you have experienced the most joy in your life, and just keep focusing on where those areas are and write them down, and write them down, and write them down, and I'm telling you it will slowly materialize and you will find a way to have more of that in your life, whether it be in a job form or whether it be extracurricular outside of

your job. If you focus on where you have your joy and you really prioritize on, like making time to have more of that joy, it will keep showing up more in your life. You will get more opportunities for more of that joy. So if you're feeling lost right now,

that's what I encourage you to do. Right down where you feel joy and then do that, make time for it, prioritize it even if you feel like you have no extra time because you have a life that is like busy and tough and you're trying to make ends meet. Make it a priority to put that joy in your life, because you have to have joy in your life. That is to me, that is one of the key things in this life. We have to figure out a way

to have joy. So that's my um encouragement. If you're feeling lost right now, and if you feel unworthy or if you feel like nothing's ever going to work out for you, know that we've all felt that way. Every single one of us has felt unworthy. My biggest struggle in life is that I haven't felt worthy, And so many people think that's shocking because they're like, what do you seem like You're so have it together and you're so happy and in your life is so great. I

have struggled with unworthiness of my whole life. And so if you feel that way, do not feel alone, because we all feel that way, and that's just part of the human experience. So don't feel weird or bad or like ashamed with that, because every single one of us struggles with something on that kind of level and it's just a part of the human experience. And I'm telling you just keep going for joy and keep choosing to see the bright side. I just interviewed my friend Miley

Missahan and she is an amazing person. Check out her interview on my podcast if you haven't. She's had like nine lives from being a pop star to go in Italy, following following love that ending and having babies, and like reinventing herself with a career, getting another record deal at the same time she's pregnant having to walk away from the record deal. She was like started off as Johnny Depps waitress and l a. She's had a crazy life. But she said, what does she say? She said, look

for the positive in the world. I think is what she said. Choose to see the positive and choose to love every day and it just will change your life and we can change the world. I'm not quoting her correctly, but it was something like that will lead with love is what she said. Lead with love, Lead with positivity. That is profound, Lead with love, Lead with positivity. I catch myself all the time wanting to kind of complain or like if something gets stressful, wanting to kind of

talk about the hard stuff of it. And my last mom chat that I just put up was on gratitude and reframing the way I think because like sometimes I'm like, gosh, all I do is like I'm busy, busy, busy all day, like I'm waking sunny, feeding sunny, cleaning bottles, pumping than

doing my podcast in between stuff. Then I have different deals that I do with brands, like doing different brand deals like in between her other naps and then showing up for Michael, being a good way for him, trying to show up from my friends and they have stuff going on, traveling home to see my family, like it's all stuff that I want to do, and so I'm like it's some of me saying, oh my gosh, I'm so tired and I'm so this is so hard and this is tedious, and I'm not getting any sleep and

I never get a break. It's like, goodness, gracious, I am blessed. I'm getting to do these things that bring me life, that bring me joy. I get to serve the people that I love, and I also getting to fulfill my own heart's desires. Like yes, I'm busy, but praise God, like I am busy, like I'm getting to do things I love, so thank you Jesus. And that is how I am trying to reframe when I feel overwhelmed. Is just be grateful for all the blessings I get

to do, even if it's stuff that's tedious. It's like, what is my goal? Why am I doing tedious things? What is the ultimate goal that I'm doing this work for. Okay, even if you're doing your job that you don't love, like you're doing the job to get a paycheck, to provide a life for yourself so you can have a house, so you can take care of your children, Like, that's a blessing. It's a blessing. And you can always keep working towards like being more fulfilled with your days and

more fulfilled with what you're doing. But for the moment, if you're doing something and it is bringing you a means to an end that provides for your life, then that is something to be grateful for. And it's just taking the time to reframe our thoughts. And of course we're not going to do it all the time because we're humans, but it's a goal and it's a goal that I'm working on, is just to reframe to live

in gratitude. So for the new Year, I encourage all you guys to lead with love, find something to be grateful for Start a vision board. It doesn't have to be huge. Just dig in your heart and figure out what it is that really is calling you, What is calling you to do, to be to simplify. Maybe you're being called not to add anything to your vision board, but to take way. Maybe it's like, you know what, I'm not going to be a yes person this year. I'm not going to go and do all these things.

I'm not gonna over exert myself in areas that I don't need to. I'm gonna say no to everything first until it's a hell yes. Maybe that's what it is a year of simplifying. Maybe you're really not loving your career and you're like, gosh, I want a new career, but I don't even know where to start. Start by writing down what brings you joy. I'm telling you I think you can always find a job. A job can show up that brings you joy if you keep looking for But you have to identify what it is. Identify

jobs that would be your dream job. Identify someone who you know who's doing something that you love and go talk to them, ask them how they do it, ask for advice. You just just start getting proactive on what brings you joy. And I'm telling you, the more focus on what brings you joy, the more joy comes in your life. And help somebody. Share your heart with someone to won't try to be perfect. When someone crosses your path and you feel called to tell them a nice word,

do something nice for them. You see someone who has four kids and their single mom and they need a hand and you feel inclined to drop them off dinner, do it. Mother Teresa said, never suppress a generous thought. And if you feel inclined to do something generous and kind for someone, just do it. And let's have the best year of our lives. Let's trust that we're moving in the right direction. Let's trust our instincts, let's trust God, let's trust the flow, and let's have the best here yet.

So I love you guys, thank you all for being here with me on this journey. And I just send you guys all blessings and love and happy, happy