Hey, gals, what's up. So I'm sitting here on It's a Thursday, and the podcast I just released today, I was like in a flow experience. I don't know if you guys even understood it, but I'm trying to just be more conversational and just tell y'all. Actually I've always been more conversational and told y'all wakes up, but instead of making it so topic based, I just want to chat.
And I don't know, I guess this is like y'all really are like my friends, because I am just pouring out my heart to you guys in a super honest way, and I am so grateful and I received the love and the camaraderie from y'all. Because something that's really been cool over these past few months since Sunny has been here and since I've really focused my podcast on just women and talking about women's issues, is I feel like we're all in this thing together more than I ever
have in my whole life. Because I always knew it was awesome to be a woman, and I, like always, I've just enjoyed being a woman, even though I've had a lot of insecurities and um a long road to figure out what I wanted to do, and you know,
a lot of self doubt, like we all do. I mean, I've had all that stuff and I have not thought I was like as capable as maybe a man would think of himself or I don't know, but I always love being a woman through all my mental struggles that I've had to work through, and more than ever though, since I focused my podcast on women, and I've, like I said, I'm telling you the same thing again. But in my becoming mom to Sonny, I just feel like we have a gang and I'm really grateful to be
in the gang with y'all. And please keep staying in the gang. Spread the word to your friends. Tell everybody about this awesome girl gang that we have on this podcast, because and some guys make your presence to they do they pop in if it makes sense. I love the guys. They're awesome. Um, But I want to talk about women's
stuff because I have so many questions. Becoming a new mom has really opened my life up to just a new world like of love, like love that hurts, like I've never felt this kind of love before my life. I like him in pain because the love hurts so much. But I'm also just over the moon, like joyful, and then the fear matches the love, So you have this great fear that you've never had before. Because I always thought to myself, like, Okay, you'll just figured it out.
Like even in my darker days where I was lost and all that, I always knew I could figure it out and like get to wherever I needed to go. Eventually. I wasn't gonna give up. I've never ever thought I was gonna give up or like that something bad was gonna happen to me. I always knew I just keep moving on. But now that I have Sunny, I'm just like the world got scary to me all of a sudden.
I wasn't scared of the world before, and now I'm like, oh my god, there's so much out there that can hurt her, and like all these things that she has to go through in life, it's overwhelming and I don't know.
But that's why I love all you guys as friends, because I get so much advice from you all, Like I'll throw a question out into the ether world on the internet, on Instagram and I will get the best comments from you all and advice that I actually use, Like I really really use the advice shall give me. So thank you, and let's just keep this thing going and you'll let me know how I can grow better for y'all, like what topics you want to hear about. I love it when you have suggestions of people you
want me to get on the podcast. I keep a running list of those, and then I want it makes sense to ask them. I will ask them because I want to have just all these awesome, fluid conversations with women who are talking about the stuff that we're talking about, which is all of us. We're all in this thing together. Another really big goal of this podcast. You know what,
I'm gonna clarify some goals. I'm gonna clarify some goals of this podcast right now, and then I'm gonna get into some of the questions that you guys asked about not feeling alone. But this podcast is to make you not feel alone. That is the point of it. That is my sole intention. That is why I am doing this. That is why it's important to me, and that is why I'm so grateful that y'all are here, because you make me not feel alone and you make me feel like,
oh my god, I'm not crazy. Like, I have recently discovered cat Andat on Instagram at c A T A N D N A T. I was so grateful to discover their Instagram because sorry, Michael ordered pizza and had Cajun craw and like, the crust is so spicy to me, my mouth is still on fire. Don't drinking water and the pepper doesn't nothing wrong too. Anyway, I just recently discovered cat and Net on Instagram, and I am so thankful to have found them because I'm like, you are
talking right to me, and they have this way. Y'all got to follow them at cat and Net. They have this way of really talking about the stuff that we are all kind of afraid to talk about. His mom's like because you don't want to go you're the bad mom. But they're talking about real topics and they're being funny about it. They're letting us know that we're human, and then they're telling us we're doing a good job, because
we're all doing a really good job. And it's a huge responsibility to raise little lives and it's a huge privilege and it's a huge honor and blessing and all of it. So we need each other to tell each other, we're doing a good job, and that we're not alone and all these struggles that we're in because gosh, there's a lot of struggles out there. And it is a choice.
It is a daily choice to stay in the joy and to stay in the positive and to stay motivated, and to stay believing that the world is a good place. Like it is a daily choice, and I want to choose that every day because I want to be happy. I want to see the best in people. I want to believe that this world is a great place for Sunday to grow up. And I want to have fun. And I don't want to have a pit in my stomach when I'm having fun because I'm here telling is
looming or it's not gonna last. Like, I just want to enjoy the moment. I have so much to be thankful for, and I know you guys do too. I am so thankful for Michael. We truly love each other, and he is such a good husband and he is such a good father, and I love that he's followed his dreams through ups and downs and thick, thick and thin. Y'all check out his band if you have, and it's a thousand Horses. They have a new single out called
Drinking Song, and it is so freaking good. They have a new album that's coming out, and Man, if anyone inspires me, it's my husband, because he has just persevered and really continue to chase his dream and keep succeeding and getting better and better, which is hard to believe because he has always been so great, but like it's like every season of his life, he just uses it
to fuel him to be better. And he's never stopped believing that his dream will come true because it will, and he knows that he's worth it, and he knows that this is his heart, and he knows this his calling and through all of it, he's going to fight for it. And I am here for that and I appreciate that, and I am all about the journey. Like man. Check out the podcast Michael Jam with Bobby Bones on the Bobby Cast that it's b O B B Y
C A S T. Bobby Bones has been awesome. He's been such a supporter of Michael and Drinking Song, and so is Rod Phillips his bosso over at I Heart and Jackie T. We love our I Heart family. Of course, we love Radio Amy Amy Brown, all of them, Eddie, Lunchbox, Morgan, I mean truly, that show has been great to us. So we're very thankful for Bobby and I heart and that's where my podcast lives on Bobby's Network on the Nashville Podcast Network, So we love the Bobby Bones fam.
Very thankful for them. But Trinking Song has been getting some love. Sorry, I'm all over the place. I've been getting some love and it's been going great. And y'all check it out and check out that podcast, and also, yeah, I mean just check it out because it tells Michael story. If you all want to know more about me in my life, you probably want to know about my husband. So check that out because he goes through his whole journey and it's really good. There's also an article about
him in Rolling Stone Online. Um that's really good anyway, though. But I'm so grateful for my husband and Michael and our true love and our Billy to navigate the ups and the downs. Don't get me wrong, Like we've had fights and like we disagree, and especially when you bring a kid into it, and the careers that are like all all over the place and like they're deeply rooted in love and passion and what we feel is our
talent and gift still the world. But gosh, when you have a creative dream that you're following, I mean it, it takes you on a wild goose chase sometimes and you just gotta follow that thing. And we've both been trying to follow it, and we support each other following our dreams. So I'm super grateful for that. And I'm so grateful for Sunny and her light that she brings to this world, and her laugh and her positivity and her just joyousness and the blessing that she is, Like,
I'm so grateful for that. I'm so grateful that Michael and I both are able to pursue our dreams and have them be our jobs that pay the bills. Like, I'm so thankful for that. I do not take that for granted, not one second. They were my family. I love my parents and my sister and my brother in law, my niece, and all Michael's brothers and my sister in law Betsy and all five of their kids and are
Michael's parents and my parents. And you know, I've been blessed enough to have grandparents that I love, and cousins and amazing friends, and we're all healthy and happy and getting to live a life that we truly love and we support each other. And I'm like, what am I complaining about? I was listening to my podcast of Landon living with land and she had her podcast out last Monday. Man. She's positive, She truly sees the light in this life,
and she truly counts her blessings. And she didn't start out with everything. She didn't start out as living with Landon, who has a store and who has a ton of Instagram followers and travels around and does live shows that are awesome. She didn't start out as this little mogul that she is married to NFL Hall of Famer football husband. He just got inducted into NFL Hall of Fame, which is amazing, Steve Hutchison. And she didn't start out like up.
But she's chosen to just see the bright side of life and to make pretty choices, as she says, which I love. Just choose the choice that makes you feel good, makes you feel pretty, makes you light up, Like, really, we don't have to choose the worry. I always feel like I have to choose the worry. I'm always like, oh my gosh, that's the worry. I found the worry,
like I've located it. Um Now I have to think about it all the time because if I don't the worry, I'll drop the worry and it'll get me or something like me thinking about it and holding up my fears and worries like keeps them away from me, or something
that's just not true. And I've been listening to Gabby Bernstein and she had her book Super Attractor on Books on tape, and I'm going to play y'all an excerpt from it, because she says how important it is to start your day off with mantras of who you are to the world, instead of waking up and getting on your phone and looking at and aagram and or checking your emails, or just all of a sudden, rushing as fast as you can and you're already behind the eight
ball and you have no time to be intentional for the day because now life is happening to you. You're rushing like everything's going on at the same time, and you're trying to get a grip and you're just feeling flustered, and it just starts to snowball. So you can start off like that or you can start off like this
with her mantra. So I'm really really trying to commit to my um what I put on my vision board this year, of just being decluttered, of being peaceful, of trusting, of letting the flow happen to me instead of me rushing around trying to make something happen. I really am trying to let the flow happen. And I want to see where it takes me because instead of me forcing my agenda, I'm interested to see what God has in
store for me. Like not in some like spiritual hippie dibby way, but like I'm really interested to see where God wants me to go because he brought me. Well, I'm here here, I am on earth. However we got here here, I have chosen to live, be exists. This is my soul. Um. We're doing this thing. I'm in a physical body, and now I have really committed to this earth life thirty or six years of it. So
I know there's a bigger force at play. Like I don't super I'm not one of those people that need you to claim to be a Christian or need you to claim exactly what your faith is, because I don't feel like you have to claim it like that. I think, get inspired by religion or like people like Gabby Bernstein, or just get inspired to be tuned in to the bigger force out there. Whatever inspires you and connects you
to it is the way to go. Because if you're going to church and you're feeling you have to be there, and you're not getting a message and you're not feeling a spiritual connection, then why are you going to church? I mean, unless you just love the community, that's great go I think, and I do think being in a house of I don't even know what they say in the Bible, but when two or more gathered, God is there. I do believe that, And I do believe community is
super important. And I think that like getting in a church family is great for that. And I think you're always probably going to pick up some inspiration along the way. But for me, like if I am not going to church, orf I don't have time to go to church, or for whatever reason I'm not doing something like that. I can grab my inspiration from YouTube videos, from people like online books. So I'm listening to Gabby Bernstein right now.
She is all about tapping into the universe and like manifesting the life that you're dreaming of and all that. Such super tractors methods for manifesting a life beyond your dreams. Here's what she says, start every day off. I'm playing the mantra. My body is rested and my mind is clear. I start my day with positive thoughts and energy. I'm relaxed, non resistant, and clear. My day unfolds with ease and grace. People support me throughout the day. The universe supports my desires.
Today I am open to receiving greatness. I am energized and inspired. Creative possibilities are available to me. Nothing holds me back. I take action with faith and clarity. I am healthy, well and vibrant. Today is a great day. I'm having fun today. I bring joy to others. I bring light with me wherever I go. I am a positive influence on the world. All is well? Okay, Now tell me if you start your day off with that,
are you not going to have a better day? I mean, if you really take five I mean that wasn't even five minutes of thirty seconds, like thirty seconds under a minute. How about that that was like a minute long exercise that all it involved is us waking up, taking a deep breath, deciding to not let the day just overtake us and start. But instead, we're gonna take five minutes.
Just give yourself five minutes. We're gonna take five minutes to catch our breath, to take a deep breath, to remember our blessings, to remember what we love in our life, to remember what motivates us, to remember what we love. We're going to do that first and then do these mantras, or write your own, or do something that calms your heart beat down literally like put your hand on your heart and watch it calm down. Like let your heart beat calm down. Let your brain turn the dial down
like four. I got a scale of one to ten. You if you're waking up on a seven with everything you gotta do, let the dial go down to about it for calm down, deep breath, dec mandres. That doesn't take any time, But yet that feels so slow. It feels like such a task because it's like I have
to like think or slow down or be intentional. I have to remember to be intentional instead of just waking up and playing up Instagram, which is so easy to do in such an addiction, which I love Instagram, like I'm a big I am a fan of social media because I I think it can be used for inspiration, and that's how I've curated my Instagram now, like I only follow people that inspire me. I only, um try to use my platform for stuff that I love and
then inspires me. Like I'm only putting stuff out that I love, and that what is fueling my fire and desire, whether that's pictures of my family, um me having funds somewhere, Like I want to remember the times I've had fun because that makes me feel good. Didn't like have fun? I want to document that Instead of documenting sad things, I want to document happy things. And I want to document like my podcast. I love putting my share in my podcast with you through social media too. So I
like social media. I don't necessarily like it first thing in the morning when it starts to dictating my life, because I need to be clear and I need to
be intentional for my own self. So whether that's like, Okay, I want to have a to do list of things I want to do for my podcast that I need to get done, or for different deals that I'm doing that I need to get done so I need to prioritize, do something, have a due date, like what needs to be done first, and I make a list of that I need, then I know what I need to get done.
But then like just pick the things that have to get done and let myself sort of enjoy the rest of the day, Like I instead of just something stressed and having this burning list all the time, I just want to do what I need to do for the day that keeps me prepared for the day and moving forward. And then kind of just like I keep a running counter. I think I talked talked about this last podcast, all the things that need to get done so I won't
forget them. But then like when I don't need to be working or doing something, I'm really wanting to just enjoy my life, like I want to be in the moment. And that is why I I really want to make these mantras a part of my morning. I really want to be intentional with social media instead of just like aimlessly looking at it and letting it fill my life.
Like I don't ever get on social media when I'm around sunny unless like I have to like post something from my podcast or I really I mean, I'm not saying I haven't gotten on social media in front of Sunny, because I have. But for the most part, like I'm really really intentional about not being on social media when I'm with her because I just want her to like see me looking in her eyes. I want to laugh
with her. I want us to have fun. I want to see her little movements with her tongue and hear her little cups and chirps and why to roll over. And I love watching her like look at toys, and I'm like, what is she thinking about this? Like how is she what is her brain doing? Because everything is new, like all of it, and I really try to just like see from her perspective and like I don't know. I just love talking with her and like mimicking her, and I just I just love it. I love it
all and even feeding her. She makes funny faces and all of it is just a joy to me. And I don't want to miss that because I'm looking at social media. No, that is not the time for social media, in my opinion. Be Present actually went to social media workshop with some friends and the guy was talking to us about just like learning how to have this balance of social media and like it also just involves being intentional. In my mind, I do not think social media is
a bad thing all the time. I think you can use it for good. But I think you need to put parameters on it, like when you're with your family or with your children, or at their events or doing something that like matters, that is someone themselves out there and like, you know, expressing themselves to you in a way like be there, show up for that. Don't get on your stupid phone. That's not the time to get
on the phone. Like the time to get on the phone is when you are sitting on the toilet, or when you're in the bathtub, or when your baby's down for a nap, and it's kind of just in the middle of the day, you and you kind of you're a little lunch break or something. I mean, it's just there's time, or at the end of the night when you've hung out with your husband and your family and everyone's asleeping, you and your husband are winding down or
something like just for a little bit. I don't know, but like there's times for it, but not all the time, not when you need to be present for your family. So that's one of my goals. The family and friends and people in general. And one of my goals to be wise with social media. That's just the way I want to put it, to be wise with social media, um, and to be just to be present Sunday's life. So I want to start off intentional and I feel like
a Montra like that's great. So that's long winded. Now let me get to some of these questions because, like I said, the reason I am doing this podcast truly is to let you know that you're not alone, because I don't want to feel alone. Okay, I'm getting to these questions. Sorry, I'm still a lot perfectly great at Instagram. Where are m hmm? Okay, here we go alone? Mm hmm. Okay.
So when everything is falling apart and you still have to put on a smile, that's what someone wrote in When everything is falling apart and you still have to put on a smile, that's tough. That's really tough, man. I know that feeling when like I always know things are going to work out for the best, Like I truly know that, and I know that for you who wrote this question, like I know that your life is going to work out for the best, because I just know that this world has a happy ending, like I
just know it does. I believe in it. I've always believed in the happy ending, and I always will believe in the happy ending. And I have seen God show up for me in my life after some of the darker days that I had gone through. And I mean, some stuff sucks balls though. I mean that's just there's no other way around it. Some stuff sucks, and like going through it sucks. And even if you know it's going to be for your best and highest good, it
doesn't make it not suck. So I get it, and I like, I really, like I was saying this podcast is and make you not feel alone. I can't tell you I have an answer for that, because all I can tell you is if you keep believing that your best is still coming and that this will be towards your highest good. If you know that, make yourself believe that because that's the truth. Believe that. But then the rest, just let yourself feel it. For I don't stay suck forever,
like you gotta get out of there. You can't stay stuck, but feel it. Cry. I mean, let yourself fall apart, just fall all the way apart. I always fall all
the way apart. My friends said this to me. She said, I'm always having a little mini meltdowns along the way, like whenever something happens to me, or whenever I get really anxious or frazzled, or I fear it hits me hard, like I'll kind of freak out and I go all the way to the bottom with that feeling and all you have to cry or I don't just like start blocking immediately. I feel it all the way through, which I don't know if it's a good thing. But she said,
and she's like a badass. She's a boss, she's got a bunch of kids, she runs lie she runs like made tons of lives and it's just I mean, super fit and healthy and motivated and all of it. She's a true badass. But she was like, you're gonna you have all these mini melt down so you're like cleansing yourself along the way. She's like, one day you're gonna find me laying on the floor like sucking my thumb because it all expla loads at once. I just started
laughing so hard. But I know a bunch of a speel that way that like life is, everything has been just like you had to build up and like there's a huge wall of all this stuff and then it all just started falling. And then once it falls, manned as it falls, like a domino effect or like a crumbling bridge or something like, it all just goes. All I can say is I'm gonna have my friend Laney on next week, next midweek mom chat, and she's going to dive into or podcast one of the two. It
will be a podcast or mideg the mom chat. Either way we'll see it. Cough up. But um, she's going to talk about the season, how to get to your harvest because we're always an abundant she's saying, but you have to go through the rain. If you have to go through the plowing, you have to go through more rain, and the harvests they're still work to do. It could be a bad harvest. You you might have to start it all over again. Like it is always a process and stuff is going to fall apart. It just is
and that's just normal. And you're just not alone. I want you to know that, Like you're not alone in that. But it still sucks, but just believe and keep finding little nuggets of things that bring you joy each day and just follow that. Just follow the joy where you can find it, even if it's just a thought that pops in your head. Just hang onto that thought, that joy, and just roll with it, just let it lead you,
because that's really important. Just to follow the joy, because I get bombarded with tons of feelings every day, and hang on to the joy and just try to let that start tipping the scale, you know, just slowly to let it tip back over to joy. And then just let yourself feel the pain. They'll like, cry, go all the way the bottom, feel bad, feel like a victim
for a second, and then get over it. Cuss some mountain or cuss whoever you want out, or cuss the world out and punch a pillow and scream and say it's unfair and get mad and cry and beat your pillow. I mean, do whatever. Get it out of you, get it out, feel it, and then accept the fact that you're still awesome, You're still blessed. There's still so much good coming your way. This is just part of it, and you will be stronger because of it. Okay, Um
having a collique baby that cries all the time. When I see moms that seem to have it all together. That's from mom. Man, girl, I feel you. We sure do you want our babies to perform, don't we? Because we feel like it's a reflection of us. Like if my baby sleeping through the night and is happy and is eating well and everything's going great, then you feel good about yourself. Beca's like, oh, I'm doing my job. I don't even necessarily think it's like a compared comparison thing.
It's just like we all want to succeed, and we all want to be the best, and we all want everyone to think we're great and our family is great and all this stuff. But guess what, we all have freaking problems. We all are a mess in certain places of our lives. We all have a colloquy baby in some part of our life, whether it's actually a colloquy baby or whether it's just something happening in our life that isn't perfect. But guess what, it doesn't mean your
baby is not perfect. Your baby is perfect just the way your baby is. God. That makes me emotional because it's true, your baby is freaking perfect, and it's just I'm sorry if you're frustrated, because I know that can be frustrating because you're tired and it's something else to deal with. There's already so much to deal with the new baby. But you have a perfect baby. You are your baby's perfect mom. And I'm telling you every mom
i'm struggling with something. I had one friend who told me her sweet little girl has hasn't had a cold seventeen times and the flu and like eight months of life. I mean, that's no fun. But guess what it's happening. And it happened, and what are you gonna do about it? You're gonna deal with it. And so your baby's colloquy. But your baby is perfect, and so it's fine. No
mom has it together. Any mom that you think has it together, you only are seeing pictures on Instagram and not seeing the real life real because no mom has it together. Nobody has it together. So Phil, let that go. Girl. You feel free. You are a great mom, and your baby's perfect, and everybody's dealing with something, so you just are blessed and don't worry. Um um, let's see special needs mom. I feel like you are out on an island alone because parenting is different. You know, I can
I can only imagine, Um, I can only imagine. Truly, I think that you are an amazing mom. I know that because I know you care, and I know you want your baby godmother stuff makes me. I know you want your baby to have the best life, and you're just trying to navigate like the rest of us. I mean, but you just it's harder to find more people to relate to because it's not as happening as much, or you don't hear about it as much. But people are
talking about this kind of stuff. By this kind of stuff, I mean that we all are on unique special journeys in there isn't just one way to do it, and we don't have to feel like you only have to do it one way. Or if your child has special needs, or if your child is call like your if your child like whatever is happening, has autism, or I don't even know what what it would be, but whatever it's happening in your life that we feel like it's out of the norm. We used to feel like we had
to be alone. And I I just think that people are talking about it, and I think that you are obviously such an amazing mom and a bright light to this world, and you love your child so much that people need to hear from you, and people need to hear about your journey, and whether that's just you sharing it openly with your friends or your family um or whether you share it on Instagram. And I think it's okay to be real and sometimes be frustrated because that's
just part of it. But I think that there are women out there who are talking about every different type of parenting that could possibly be happening. And I think that I would find at least start by finding people on Instagram that are This is where I feel like social media is a blessing. Use Instagram and Facebook to find other moms who are going through the same thing that you are, and message them and become Internet friends.
Truly become Internet friends and talk about stuff and maybe they have suggestions for things that are working for them. You don't have to be in person to have these conversations, especially mom conversations, because we truly are exchanging information with each other, like we truly are trying to parent the best we can. And if you can't honestly exchange information with people that we're really not going to help each
other become better parents and better moms. And so there are people on the internet on Instagram who are probably dealing with something super similar to you. I bet there's a lot of people who are dealing with something super similar to you. So I would go on the internet and find these people and message them and start communicating, and that will make you feel not alone, because, like I said, the point of this podcast is, I don't
want anybody to feel alone. And if you have a specific conversation that you're needing to have because you need someone to understand on the same level, and the only way to be on that level is to be in it, go find that friend on the internet. People really do become cyber friends these days. I mean I have friends that message me that I only know through social media now because we've messaged back and forth so much on Instagram. So I just think that's an opportunity to use Instagram
for good. Um, And I just want to tell you again, you're an amazing mom and I am so just inspired by you and you're not the way you're navigating because you're just doing it. You're doing it and I'm proud of you and you're freaking badass. Um. Husband doesn't show emotions, So I feel like I'm the only one affected by the tantrums. I guess the kid tantrums. You know what, it's probably good sometimes to have both of us not to totally get completely emotional. Like Michael's better at that
than me. It's saying black and white when he knows she's safe, when he knows she's fed, when he knows she's healthy, when all of her needs have been met. Maybe she's just tired, and maybe she just needs to work it out for a little bit, but everything's fine, Whereas me, I I get so emotional about stuff. Um, maybe it's good sometimes to not have two super emotional parents at the same time, like switching off with who's
more emotional each time. I don't know. I feel like that can be a blessing because you don't want to stay there. You don't want to stay wrapped up in the tantrum. You don't want to stay wrapped up in the motion. You don't want to stay wrapped up in the What you are feeling like is negativity or what's not happening, how your child is reacting like in a way that you know you don't love. Like, you don't want to stay there, You want to get back to love.
So maybe once the tantrum is done, talk with your kid. And I mean, I'm not trying to get I'm just flowing what I would say, but like what I'm thinking. But obviously I don't have a toddler yet who can throw a tantrum. Um, so you might already be doing this, and if you are, kudos to you. But like I just what I would suggest is just talk with your kid and really try to figure out what they're upset
about and really try to hear them. I know they're just kids, but they really do have feelings, and I think if we could just talk with them and really try to understand them and where they're coming from and why they're upset, maybe maybe that could help. Maybe there's a new angle to approach the tantrum from from. I don't know, but you're doing a great job and you're definitely not alone, because I'm telling you every parent is going through this. I mean, I interviewed Alison more Um.
Y'all check that podcast out if you haven't. She has a child with autism and he sometimes sorts tantrums and gets on a plane and might have a tantrum. And what is she going to do stop her life, and she she's not going to, and it's part of it. It's acceptance. It's just like loving your particular journey with all the colors that it is, because it's just nothing needs to be perfect, Like we have this this image in our mind that things just need to be perfect.
But nothing needs to be perfect ever, So let's try not even have that on on the table, like perfection. Let's just take that off the table because it doesn't need to be perfect. It needs to be loved. Everything just needs love. If it's if there's love, then it's perfect. If there's not love, then it's not perfect. So I would just try to show up with a little more love for yourself. Give yourself a break. You're doing the
best you can. Um take any pressure of yourself that your child needs to be perfect, take any pressure of yourself that your husband needs to be perfect, and take any pressure of yourself that you need to be perfect, and just try to see the best in everyone and find a conversation that you can have that's in love with your husband and your child, Because if you can see love in the midst of a tantrum, the tantrum
is not going to be so bad. Okay, Um, when my husband has gone every other week for work, we have three littles and I have no mom, but mom best friends. Yeah, that's hard. I mean, that's really hard because you don't even have a second breathe. Um, that's really tough. So again, I'm just gonna reiterate this the whole time because you are not alone. I have so
many friends who feel like they're on an island. And being in the music industry, you have a lot of friends who husbands travel a lot, and it's a lot to be at home with the kids by yourself and doing everything and staying present for them, getting them ready for school or whatever they gotta do, or just taking care of them. Like right now, me, I'm just taking care of Sunny, just feeding her and getting her to
sleep and all the basic life stuff. But it's a lot, um, and it's hard to do by yourself, and getting anywhere and going anywhere is hard with baby. I can't imagine with three so doing that all by yourself. Like, kudos to you. You are a badass and a rock star, and I want to start with that, so congratulations for being a badass. But um, once again, I'm gonna go to technology because I'm just telling you what I would do. I hate feeling alone, like I freaking hate it is.
It's so worse to me that gut rich and feeling of being alone. So I'm gonna do anything I can to not feel alone. That's why I started this podcast. Um, if you don't have access to friends where you live and you're alone with your three kids, you got to connect on the phone or on like Instagram or something like.
You gotta find somebody to talk to or someone that even inspires you, Like I felt a lot like I watched Cat and At videos on Instagram like three hours, and they basically made me feel like I was not alone because they go through every single topic that we have as new moms. They cover every single topic and funny videos they put them on their Instagram. It is so funny. Go watch that, like seriously, go watch that for thirty minutes. At the end of the day, when
your kids are asleep, call somebody. Call someone that you love that makes you feel good, like when you think of them, they put you in a good mood, put a smile on your face. Call that person when the kids go to bed or when you have a little break in the day, or if you're driving and you can talk on the phone, find like fifteen minutes to call somebody and just connect and like express yourself for that day, Like let somebody know how your day was,
because it's not your kids. And exchange days with someone, because if you can exchange days with someone, or at least just exchange you know, somebody want you want somebody to know what happened in your day, Like I don't know. Laie mckennall has a song a witness to your life. You want a witness to your life. And your kids are amazing witnesses, but they're on a different level of their kids, like they're not thinking about all this stuff
that we're thinking about. And your husband's gone, so if he can't talk on the phone, I would at least try to talk to him on the phone if he can, and just talk about your days and like catch up. Um. But then also a girlfriend, a different person beside your husband. Find a girlfriend or a friend and talk about your day, or find somebody on social media who you really relate to,
who will respond to you. I mean, some people are so big they're not gonna respond to you just because they have overwhelming amounts of messages and they can't get
to them. But I know people like me, like on the level that I'm at, Like I really love our community and I really do respond to people like there's plenty of people out there who you can relate to on social media who like or you feel like you're helping you or like that's my life, you know, but we'll talk to you, or find a great podcast like Gabby Bernstein, like I'm listening to hers, or I love Oprah Super Soul Sundays. I put those on. They made me feel great. I mean, just figure out a way
to get connected. That's what it is. Get connected to somebody, whether it's actually in the physical flesh on the phone or through a podcast or a Super Soul Sunday or a book or someone who's inspiring on Instagram. Just connect, That's what I suggest. Um, when I have anxiety, I feel like no one understands and there's something seriously wrong with me. No, do not worry. There's nothing wrong with you. Um,
when you have anxiety, that just happens. I mean, anxiety is the worst I have had it, Like I felt like crippling anxiety, not like I'm gonna say it, I have had it as bad as some people that some people truly have like seizures and like a lot of
panic attacks, and it's like a real thing. I have anxiety pretty moderately most of the time, but then sometimes it flares up to this like unnatural, unhealthy level that like really makes me feel sick in my stomach and just so worried, just fear, And I hate that feeling so much that that's why I'm really working hard on trying to get rid of my fear, because in my opinion, anxiety comes from fear. And so I would suggest if you have really bad anxiety, you might need medication, I
mean a lot. Sometimes you just might or you might need something like. I am not an advocate of saying don't get medication if you need it, because if you need it, you need it, and that's only between you
and your doctor. But beyond that, I do think it's worth looking into what is giving you anxiety, like when you think about it, like what is actually giving you anxiety, Like what thought or what kind of like situation gives you anxiety, and really take a little time to get to the bottom of that fear and try to confront that fear as much as you can, because most of our fears are lies, and we can believe a life for a really, really long time, and it can just
gain momentum and get really big to the point where it's like engulfs us and swallows us, and so sometimes it just becomes tidal wave because we've let it go for so long. So I would try to get involved with looking at that fear and get on medication if you need it too, but that's between you and your doctor. That's my advice. Um finding mom friends, I think. I
just think the Internet is a great resource. I think if you're new to town, there's an app called Humble, and I don't know what cities it's in, but it's like Bumble for girls I don't like. I don't know exactly what the bumble part of it is, but if you type in bumble bu m b Li, there's like a whole networking app where you can, like, instead of like tindering people and trying to get dates, you can Tinder.
You can bumble people and get friends, like people who are interested in the same stuff, like I know in my neighborhood in Nashville, there's like a mom's group if you go to Facebook and you type in where you live, like there could be a mom's group that pops up. There could be places to volunteer that other mom's volunteer at. There could be school stuff like if your kids in school, is there something you can get on a board like
volunteer or help and meet other moms? Like I would just start figuring out your look at your life, like what you do in your life and what you enjoy, and then just try to figure out how you can evolve, like some sort of group, like how you could reach out to a group, like if you enjoy walking, is there a walking groop in your in your town of moms or in your neighborhood or is there one on Facebook? Or do you know some people around you that have kids or that our moms like you could just start
a walking group. You could just ask them or I don't know, there's this. I would just start figuring out where you're interested, where your life is going already, and find a way to connect with moms who are in that same zone. That's what I would do. Um mental health, anxiety depression. Man, I know it's tough because we are alone in our own minds, you know, and when mental health and anxiety and depression gets ahold of us, we feel even more alone. And I am I don't have
um any sort of expertise in this. I just care about people, and I think everybody struggles with a lot of different stuff, and I think everybody's struggle is so valid and it is so real, And so I can't say that I relate to you because I don't. I do struggle with anxiety, but it's not like debilitating UM. But you're not alone. So many people struggle with that, So many people feel alone and isolated. My suggestion again is to get in community. I always think getting in
community makes things better. Community where you can talk about stuff like finding a discrete group of other people who are struggling, like a help group, like I don't know whether it's even just online again, I'm talking about technology, but like I think finding a resource of people who are going through this, Like that's why I love a A for alcoholics anonymous, like people who are an alan on um, family members who have gone through addiction with
some a loved one. They are not addicting themselves, but a loved one. Is it teaches you how to relate and respond and help and be encouraging. UM. It's really great to have a support group. So if you're really struggling with something serious, I think you've got to find a support group. And whether it's an online support group, whether it's like an a A or an alanon or UM, whatever kind of support group you need, Like I know there's like overeaters, anonymous clubs, Like there's all sorts of
support groups out there. And the reason I love a support group is because everybody in that group is really struggling with the same thing. And it's so nice to be around people that you can relate to and talk talk openly and freely with and not feel judge because you are all going through it. Even though a lot of people won't judge you, we have that fear of being judged, Like that's just how we feel, and that's
why it's more isolating. So finding a support group, and then when you're in that group, you're being encouraged and led to UM cover and you're being led to helpful tools and you're being led to tips. And I just think, once again, like I was talking about UM overcoming anxiety and stuff fighting like something that lifts you up, whether it's like a Super Soul Sunday or like a podcast like a Gabby Bernstein, She's great. I love her podcast.
I love her audio books, like or an audiobook that's inspiring. And there's tons of great book book list like Oprah now has lots of books on her website or wherever it is that she has like a book club, and there's tons of great books out there that are a motivational, that are inspiring, that will lift you up. And I would just put that on and listen to it in the background, put it into your headphones, figure out a way to get yourself hearing positive stuff like good self talk,
and I would just start there. But I also want to say, um, sometimes it is so bad that you need to talk to your doctor and get help. And I'm never going to say don't do that, because I think you have to just take care of yourself and you'll know if you need to seek medical tension. And so always always do if you need to, because taking care of yourself is super important and just staying aware and just knowing if you need help, and um, don't
stay isolated. Whatever you do, tell somebody, find somebody to tell that you're really struggling. Find somebody to talk to because you really need to talk this out and get some guidance. And people are there to talk to you. I promise you. People want to talk to you, and people love you. Uh h. I'm not answering all these all because I've already in fifteen minutes I feel I feel alone, and I feel alone like I don't know what I'm doing in my career and where I will go.
I get it. We all go through that. Do not feel alone. I get it. I felt so alone, like such a loser. For so long I could not figure out what to do. I wasn't able to make much of money and anything like I wanted to follow my passion, but it was all flying apart and it like I was good enough. We all feel that way. Do not worry. Just keep following the next open door, keep saying true to yourself, keep believing in yourself, keep following the path of least resistance. You can do it. Do not worry.
We all are a big freaking mess. It all, It all pans out in the long run. State Try to stay positive. My baby's crying. I'm about time to go I saw this question earlier, and I really it hit me because this is like I don't think about this yet, but I'm going to a parent who is in their last stages of life. Wow, what a profound place to be. You've lived your You've lived a long life, Like to make it to the last stages of life, that's such
an accomplishment, Like that's such an honor. People get wiped out all the time in this life. If you think about it, you know, like tragic stuff happens a lot. And I'm not saying this person hasn't had had to deal with tragedy, because I do think we all have to deal with stuff. But to make it to the last stages of life, like what you have seen, what has changed You've lived through like decades and half centuries, probably like fifty years, Like what you have seen happen
like cool, that's so cool. I'm sure you have a lot to show for your life. I'm sure you have a lot of memories that you love. I'm sure you have people that you have collected, whether it be your family, whether it be children that you've had or adopted or fostered or got to be an aunt or a friend, a friend, aunt or like you know, all honorary aunt or uncle or whatever. Like I'm sure you have found a lot of love along the way, and I'm also
sure you've probably had some heartache. But I'm also mostly sure of that you have lived a full life. So I would rejoice and be really really thankful that you've been here this long, Like you've been here a long time and seen so much and that is so freaking awesome, Like we are all so blessed to live a long life,
you know. But then on the flip side, like whoa, it's like wow, like you know it's coming to an It's almost like people who tragically die sometimes it's like you don't even have time to think think about that you're going to die, Like you don't have time to think about death because it just happens. But like when you're at the end of your life, you know what's coming because you can't live forever. There is an expiration date.
We all have one. Wow. I don't know. I think that my advice to you is like I'm I kind of have the same advice, like community, be with community, don't be alone in the last phases of your life, Like whether that's going to a nursing home, being with people. Michael and I say we're moving to um Jimmy Buffett's retirement home if we make it that long. Like I want to have a peanut out in my hand every day and play pool and maybe not pool but bridge
scoot around my wheelchair. Michael probably flirt into the ladies. I'm just kidding. He's very charming though. Um. Just talking to people, whether it's your child or a friend or neighbor, like definitely or someone on the phone. I would try to be in community with somebody, and whether that's just reminiscing about good old days and enjoying the life that you've lived, or just finding a blessing to be thankful for, but share it. Make sure you're sharing it with somebody,
because you've done a good job. You've really you've lived along life and you're here and that's a miracle and that's amazing and you should be proud and happy and enjoy this last season. Try to like stop worrying about stuff if you can, try to really live as much as you can freely and really soak it in and be around the people you love the most. Um, Okay,
you guys, there's so many more questions. Maybe I'll just do a podcast of questions, but I'm gonna go ahead and wrap with that one because we're at an hour and this is the longest MIDWEK mom chat that I've ever done. I love y'all. I appreciate y' all. I'm thankful for you guys, thankful for this community, and spread the word. Let's keep it growing. Want to take it on the road. Eventually, I want to write a book.
I told all that I started the process. It's gonna be a long process probably to get the book done, but I'm starting it and I'm committing to it, and it's gonna be based off of just kind of inspiration that I've learned from this podcast, to be honest with you, and I'm gonna just put it in a book form. Um, that's gonna be a process to get done. But I want to get my show, my podcasts on the road. I want to go to cities and do a live tour. So spread the word and let's keep ruining this thing.
And I love y'all, and I appreciate y'all, and God bless you, and do your mantras, and let's be intentional