Mid-Week Mom Chat: Bestie Talk w Amanda Satcher.

Monday night? Monday night. It got hit on Monday. Yeah, national guys, today's Wednesday. Nashville got hit by tornado on Monday night. It came out of the blue. It hit downtown Nashville, then it really wrecked German Town, and then it hit East Nahville where I live, and really messed up our neighborhood. We our house was not hit. We're so thankful, but so many other people's were. And it's just crazy when you go through a natural disaster like that.

So our powers out and so Amanda and Bill her husband, Bill plays guitar, four thousand horses. UM let us come stay with them and pack up our entire life and bringing over their house. So thanks for the us to move in. It's been really fun. We used to live together, so it's kind of like a little fun um sleepover union. That was really fun when we lived together. How long do we live together? A couple of years? I like

four sho out of your apartment. You had great apartment, and I was like, just like break your rent and coming in with me. I think it was like two years. Good times. And the funny thing about Amanda and I is our moms are best friends also, so we got a deep lineage here. And then my dad recently had a lot of heart situation and Michael's and Amanda's dad was right there by my dad's side because he's a heart surgeon and all sorts of stuff. So our families

are super intertwined. And I introduced Bill in Amanda. Yeah, yeah, you're the reason for my marriage. Okay, you gotta tell you gotta tell that story. Um, So I just moved to Nashville and I was coming out of a really long relationship and I moved here for graduate school and I was like really focused and so excited to be single after being in a relationship for like four years in college. You're like, I moved to Nashville, I want to get my date on. Yeah. I was like, oh

my gosh, I'm gonna kiss everybody. And I moved to Nashville and I ran into Caroline and Michael at pet Smart and um, she said, my boyfriend's in this band and they have a show tonight. Do you'all do you want to come? And I was like, well, yeah, I don't. I don't know anybody. I had moved to Nashville like two or three days before, so I was like, yeah, sure, I'll go. And I met Bill that night and we just like sat and talked about Saved by the Bell and I don't know, it was kind of like awkward

because we were both a little bit shy. And then he asked you to dinner afterwards, but he had no dollars in his banking Yeah, he asked me. Yeah, that's right. He asked me if we could, like if I wanted to go somewhere, um, and I was like sure, like go grab like some food or something. And then we went and then I guess while we were there, they

had an a t M at the back. When you still have to check your balance on a t M, I was like ten years ago, and he went and checked his balance and he had like three dollars in his bank account, and so he didn't end up ordering anything. So what can't you even order on the menu for three dollars? I ordered to Booley because it was like ten pm and we went to a restaurant called to Bouley? And how much did that cost? You bought your own? I just it wasn't because it wasn't a date and

he didn't order anything. So then it was like, I'm just gonna pay for my own to Boley, you know. So um. But yeah, and then um, that was kind of that was it. And then I remember at the end of the night that Michael said, uh, Bill Sacher, think about it, and I was like, yelled that across the parking lot and I was like, I that's so funny. I hadn't. I had not really thought about it, but I guess I'll think about it. So um. But yeah, here we are ten years later. Was that the start

of true love? Like? Did just start dating exclusively? Yeah? Do you remember? Like you? I guess he was so shy and he he was so nervous around girls, and he'd never I'm sure he would love me, saying that he had never had a real girlfriend. And he asked me, um, you had a barbecue at your house. I probably planned it for y'all, you did. And so he asked me

if I would go to the barbecue with him. He called me on my home phone and as if I would go to the barbecue, and I said yeah, And so he came and picked me up and knocked on the door and like the whole thing, Oh my gosh, did he bring me flowers? He didn't bring me flowers. But we were helping, like to cut like an onion in the kitchen, and he held my hands. Did you get Tingley? Yeah? I was like, dang it. I wanted to be single so bad, but really think you're so cute.

So that was it. That was it, And I felt so bad because I'm like, here comes Amanda. She's coming to school to be an occupational therapist, Like she's got a bright future, and let me just go ahead and introduce her to my rock and roll boyfriend and his bandmate. And God knows, like this is every parent's nightmare. Long Hair didn't go to college. Three dollars in the big

account of cool, super cool and charming. I'm telling you, those rock stars will get you, and my dad said, don't go to Nashville and just fall in love with a musician. And then like a week later, it's like, sorry, Dad, I felt so guilty about it. For I'm like, oh gosh, because I have known your parents a whole life. I'm like, they're gonna kill me. Oh, but now my dad and Bill are like basically the same person. They are so

similar it's eerie. Yeah, it really is eerie, Like to talk on the phone about music and fly fishing all the time. They call each other on the phone. Yeah, I just talked to my dad on the phone. He's like, it's Bill still on the plane. I'm gonna I'm gonna give him a call here in a little bit. Oh.

It's been fun. This journey has been fun, and it's been fun to do it with you because we've had our whole life together growing up, even though I've been older than us, four years older than you, so it's like we weren't like quite in the same circles, but

always went to church together and knew each other. And then having this band life together, it just it has made a big difference because it is a rot ride to be a band wife to be in the music industry, to be married to musicians, and now you were seven months pregnant twenty nine weeks weeks on Thursday with a little baby. Pretty crazy. I'm wanna talk about your journey because you and I both had journeys to get to

being pregnant. So tell me about your journey to get here, because I know that was an emotional journey for you, and so many women go through this and it is so painful and emotionally painful. Well, I only ever really really wanted to be a mom, like growing up, Like when people are like, what do you want to be when you grow up, I'm like, I don't just a mom really, Like I mean, I love being an occupational therapist, but I really just that has always been something nice. Yeah,

So I guess um, I was surprised. I was surprised that it wasn't easy for us to get pregnant, and which is very surprising because you go your whole life trying not to get pregnant, and oh, I'm just gonna get pregnant. Yeah. And I had an i U D. And when I took it out, I got I was glad I took it out. Maybe a little bit sooner than I thought I was maybe ready for because some people had said like, oh, sometimes it will take you

like six months to kind of get regulated again. Well it was like a year and a half plus and four rounds of clod and six months of progesterone, which makes you feel pretty terrible, it does. And finally, like you know that that just whole journey is just really frustrating. Tell me about that season, Like how you feel in that season, Like tell me like the different stages, because I know you, like it's for me, it was stages like in the beginning, you're kind of like lighthearted about it,

like okay, like yeah, it takes a while, that's fine. Yeah, I think the first like I was fine until about six months and then I started getting like that and after six months, I was like really just kind of frustrated, and like, I guess the couple of things that got me through are like one, my faith and to knowing that like I was never opposed to like adopting or anything, so I knew like one way or another, I was

going to be a mom. So like that was like it was just like wow, this really sucks, but I know this is not like this is just part of the journey, however it ends up. How did you feel though after the six months happened, Because I know, for me, like we had a dear friend, Brie lending and like I had just confided in you guys, like my closest friends. Like I think it was like you, Andrea and Bree

that I had to hit that six month mark. And I was like, I think I cried everything now, but like I was so frustrated because I'm like, it's just never going to happen, and like I felt so frustrated, and I was like, everyone's just getting pregnant and I

can't get pregnant. And at that very same moment, Bree had just found out she was pregnant and got pregnant first try, and it's like you are so happy for them, and then you feel so weird because you're in this really sad place and it's like everyone starts popping up pregnant and literally it's a blessing and a miracle, and you have so much love for all the women getting pregnant, but you're like, why am I not getting pregnant? Why

is it not happening? And I had just taken my I d out like um, maybe like a week or two before Brie, And so I mean, like, like you said, I'm so happy for her, like like, and I didn't really expect to get pregnant on the first Chary or even the second or the third. Like I felt like I knew it was going to take a little bit of time, but I did not know it was going

to take like almost two years. Because I remember having one like really heart about conversation with you, like right before you got pregnant, and you were like it was like a hard moment, you know. I was like I would go through like waves like you said, and like I would be okay some of the time. And then one time we went to church and we like it was super crowded and we ended up sitting on the wrong side whatever, the wrong side is not our normal side.

And I looked around and I we were we were like in the middle somehow we had I had never noticed that we sat in the middle of like the family section, like back left, all the kids, and we were just like sitting in there, and I was like, oh wow, and I just like lost it and like started crying and I was like I don't I can't never sit on this side again. This is like until I have my own family because this is a way too hard. And what is that? Because it's like what

is that feeling? Because you never know you could experience that until you're in it. Yeah, is it just like is it the feeling that like you're never gonna get it? Or like is it that you want it so badly? And I think it's just like wanting it so badly because like I really like and almost like I mean jealousy, like totally like just like you hate that you're jealous and yeah, and like like it's so it's such a weird thing, like like you're so happy for your friend,

but you're just like jealous. It's not you and I really try to not should not be jealous. And so that's like that was that's like a hard thing to accept. You're like why do I feel like this? And it's burning feeling and it makes you just like then you're like disappointed in yourself that you feel like that, that you let yourself get to that point and like you can't help it because you want it so badly and you don't want their child, you don't want their blessing

to go away. You just want it for your total more than anything. Yeah, it is. And I have like loved being able to talk about this on this platform and like, I'm so grateful that you will talk about it and other women because so many women. Once I've started like talking about it, you realize how common this is. It is so hard to get pregnant. Some people get pregnant right away and that is such a blessing. Others it is a journey, and like it sometimes it never

even happens. And then you're in this journey and you're like why why I just like you just cannot wrap your head around why it's not you and what everyone else is getting it. It's like why are they winning

the power Ball and I'm not. Yeah, And then it's weird like being on the other side of it now, like the light at the end of the tunnel, and like at first you kind of almost like, I mean, I have other friends that have been struggling to get pregnant, and you like almost don't want to feel so happy for yourself because you don't want to make anybody else feel sad for for themselves, you know, And that is also a hard thing, like because yeah, you want and

you want that for everybody you know that wants that for themselves. So I know, I know it's just a hard it's just a hard journey. It is, Yeah, But I always have like thought this. I don't know if this is pessimistic or just I don't know, but I've always thought, like, you know, if it's not one thing,

it's another. So like on the like to pregnancy and having children, and it's like you never know what hardship you're going to go through at what point, So like this is just part of the story, and like it wasn't easy, but here we are, and if it wouldn't have been this, it could have been something else exactly. I mean I've talked to you about that too, because like right now, Sonny, like she's like coming into personality. We're getting vaccines, and like there's all that fear about

like autism and all sorts of stuff. But it's just like, Okay, you can worry about like autism because that pops up right now in the beginning phases. And then so you get through that phase, then it's like, oh my gosh, what about drugs and alcohol driving and school shootings and I mean freaking a tornado hits your town. You know, it's just like what is next, Like if if it's

not one thing, it's another, So really like why worry? Yeah, exactly, because like you can worry yourself sick and then something else is coming right behind it. And the things that you really worry about sometimes aren't even what you deal with totally, you know, right yep. It's so it's like you're worrying. You're like that's so fear based, you know, and not like the truth. So how do you get out of that fear based mentality? Gosh, I don't know.

I mean praying, I mean that, I don't know, praying and just trying to be like optimistic and not letting like that all that like just fear sink in and just trying to like just trying to think about like life is our our a journey, I guess, And it's just not it's not like just an easy straight road. It's just a little windy and everybody everybody has like

their struggles that they go through. So like even if like someone else looks like they have like you know, it was very easy for them to get pregnant, and like it's just everybody has one thing or another that they're worried about, struggling with whatever. So we're all just kind of like human in in it together, you know. So you have that awareness. I also have that awareness. But what do you do when you're in the valley? Because I have found myself Like when I was younger,

I look back and I know everything is relative. I'm like, dang, stuff I was stressing about. Girl, Oh, I wasn't even stressing about that. But now I'm like, when you start bringing a life into the world and you're married and you have a house payment, and you have jobs and you are not supporting your family, and then you're supporting a child and you have like careers and it's all

the stuff like stuff so that kids like freaking real. Yea, what do you tell yourself when you're in those stressful seasons, even though you know it's a journey and it's a bigger picture, I don't know, it's like so hard to navigate. Sometimes. I feel like we're really lucky with like our friends in Nashville that we have like a super great community of people that are actually like so real and can

be like honest with each other. So just like relying on friends and like God, and that's it, like and of course my sweet husband, like that's just like trying to and you know, working at a hospital gives me like a real good dose of reality pretty you know, like just seeing uh, like all the real hardships that are not that like true hardships, you know, physical physical

hardships and like people rebuilding their bodies and strokes. Yeah, and like it's so sad and like yeah, just like you know, adults who have been abused and like I don't know just all of that. I'm just like, wow,

I sent Bill a text message last week. I'm like, what I think it's hard right now is so not hard, you know, And like that I think helps me keep it in perspective how like grateful, how lucky and like blessed we are and how that's not you know, so even like when things feel stressful and hard, they're just like just keeping it in perspective that our life is

pretty dang good. I know. I know I'm talking with that right now because I am and anyone who listens to this podcast knows I am always trying to find the positive. I'm always trying to see the light within the tunnel, Like I feel so blessed in my life and right now I'm in a very stressful season with just like trying to get my career going, Like I'm putting so much work into my career and like just trying to get it going because you have to pay bills.

Our husbands are in a band and they're amazing, and it's like they have this very creative job and then it makes them be gone and like it makes their schedules different and just like never nothing is ever consistent, which is what we love about them. Now you have a life in the world and it's like thinking about all these things for her and you have one coming, and like I just feel like I have so many and this is just some of them. These are like

my main ones. I have so many like balls in the air that I feel like I don't know how to catch them all. And it's not that I'm not grateful, because I am grateful, but it's like I'm stressed, and like I just let myself being a moment these past couple of days actually where I just like I'm speaking out loud where it's like I am happy and I am blessed, Like I'm stressed right now and like I think that's okay to feel that every now and then because I'm always trying to push through it and get

to the blessing and get to the light. But like sometimes you're just freaking overwhelmed and it's hard. It's just like I think it's okay to be there, Like obviously you've got to figure out ways to get out of it. But those are seasons, you know. And like you said that like perspective, like there are real problems in life, and so it's like, okay, be grateful, get stay in check. But like it's God, life is like real on any level. Yep.

So how have you navigated working, being pregnant. Now you're about to have this baby, You're going to continue working, you are finding a nanny, and like that's a whole new chapter like a working mom, Like what is that going to look like? I don't know, we'll see And how are your feelings about all that? Um uh, I'm torn. I mean, so being pregnant and working has been fine luckily, Like my job has been super great and flexible and so like I have been able to work like a

lot of time alongside like a partner. Do you have a physical job yeah, Like I do a lot of lifting and like, and it's like super emotionally demanding. But I've been able to have a partner, so like have a physical therapist with me, so we can, like I can let somebody else take a lot of like heavy lifting, and I'm just asking for help more. But because I've been new for you to ask for helper, are you

okay to ask for help? Yeah, it's new to like not be able to feel like I can give, Like this is a percent of my effort that I can give right now, but it's not of my normal effort, you know, So just like being okay with that, And like I took that indiogram test yesterday and I'm a two with a one wing. One wing, so helper with the perfectionist wing. Yeah, so perfectionist. So like and you're connect and neck with like perfectionism too. Yeah yeah, so

that's kind of like hard for me. I'm like, Okay, this is just I just have to realize, like this is the best that I can do right now. Like I don't feel like I'm like I'm not slacking off or anything, but I'm not probably like you know, you know, your regular body can do more but you can't do that right now. Yeah, and even just like you know, I think like the first, um, the first trimester was

just so tired. So it's just like going in and going leaving, and like I am really grateful that I'm like way too type A to like leave it and have to take work home with me. So like all you creative people, I totally admire that, but I like to be just like clocked out at the end of

the day. Um So, but now like I just finished the like sweet spot, and now like the second trimester is the sweet man, And I felt like I was just like doing really great and cute because you kind of got a little bump, but it's not so big that it's like weighing you down and hurting your hips. Yeah.

And then like we're right around twenty seven weeks, as I was like turning the corner to move into the third trimester, I like couldn't get my legs up into the car without like lifting them with my hands because my growing and my hips hurt so bad. So I started going to physical therapy myself. And now I'm it's just like it's um, you know, funny to be I guess I'm like this is now the second I broke a finger last year and had to go to occupational therapy.

Now I'm like, I can't even walk without a wattle and my hips hurt so bad. So now I'm in physical therapy and it's funny to be on this side of it as a patient. Yeah, but um yeah, so now it's getting a little bit harder to work just because I'm just really uncomfortable. But I know, but it's still fine. But I you know, um, I work some weekends and stuff, so that gives me. That gives me

like a day off during the week. And I kind of like working weekends actually when like our husbands are gone, because I don't know, it's just like I don't know, I don't mind it. I've never minded working like an

occasional weekend here and there. And then I like having a day off during the week, like a week day like today off to be just like do whatever, lay around and be kind of like lazy and get some errands run on a on an actual week day like most working people parents don't have that luxury, you know. And then um, going back to work. I'm gonna start going back to work just like three days a week. Um,

you're gonna take a few months off. I'm gonna take yeah, to be determined, probably like ten or twelve weeks off and then I'm gonna go back to work three days a week. But then I still will work like one or two weekends a month, so I end up being like four days at least a couple a couple of weeks out of the month. So and um, and what our thoughts about that? Like, I know, you just have to get there to feel it, like going back to

work with the baby finding nanny. Well, I mean, like I said, like I've only ever wanted to be a mom, So I mean, like I would love to never work again. But at the same time, like I know, I'll be glad to have like something for myself and like I enjoy my job when I'm there. I never like, but I know I'm not gonna want to go there, you know,

but I, um, yeah, and um, having a nanny. I knew that I wanted to have a nanny, And you know this is just like this is just my personal like journey and preference like this does not I don't like think that you have to have a nanny or anything like that, but Um, I decided that I wanted to have a nanny because this is odd because I'm a therapist and I have weird opinions about like putting kids in chairs for long periods of time or like

being constrained or anything. And I'm like, oh gosh, it's just so much sensory stimulation in a loud room, and like, I don't know, I'm kind of weird about that. You're the mom, You're the that's right, and you know, I'm sure that they'll change significantly after like six months. I'm like, you know, really realize what's more realistic. You know, you can start, you can have any opinions that you want though for your child and your experience with your child.

I feel like this is the one time when nobody else gets to tell you what you're good. Yeah. So, um been, we're um gonna do a nanny share with another family in our neighborhood. And um so we'll have like the both babies together so they'll get like a little bit of socialization, but in a very like you know, safe contained environment. Um So that's kind of our plan for now. See how it goes. Would have been the

highs of pregnancy and the loads of pregnancy. Um, the high the highs, like every time I feel uncomfortable, honestly even just like I never have been mad about being uncomfortable because it's like I'm so grateful to be here that like even all the discomfort, I'm like, how freaking cool that my body is doing this? And like my hips are because they're getting wide and huge. But that's like awesome, you know, like what it's so cool like

that my body is capable of this. It's pretty amazing. Yeah, and every like kick even the ones all night that like we're really keeping me up and kicking my ribs, Like I'm just like, wow, like this is so awesome. You're just like moving around in there and like who are you know? That is pretty cool and special. Um, And I haven't minded. I really haven't minded getting like I've loved having a bump. It's actually so fun. Um the lows. I'm only going to say this because now

I know this is like comment. I didn't know if you're gonna talk about this or not. I was gonna set where you can choose, well, hemorroids, it's just not there's some farts that just aren't sexy. Yeah, So I would. I didn't. I like did not know that was the thing. And then I went to a prenatal yoga yoga class and I, uh, they asked us a similar question. They're like, what's the least like great physical part about being pregnant?

And like four people said hemorrhoids and I was like, oh my god, you like it's only happened to me twice now, like you know, since I've been pregnant, but like both times I was like, what the freak is happening? This is horrible and um so yeah, that that and that's the thing. I didn't have hemorhids, but I was like constipated out to the wazoo, like I could not go to the bathroom ever, and that was so frustrating

to me. It's funny because then I asked like two of my best girlfriends, like very closest friends, our closest friends, and I was like, y'all, like I have hemorrohid What the freak do I do? And somebody was like, oh, I get them all the time. And I was like, but you've never told me that, and they were like, yeah, people don't talk about that. I know, people don't talk

about this stuff, but everyone had deals with it. I'm like, but we talk about everything, but I was kind of shocked that, you know, this is funny how like we try to keep some stuff private because we're like not embarrassed. But it's just like it's the gross ugly parts of life. But really we're all going through the gross ugly parts of life. And you feel so much better when you realize we're all going through the gross ugly parts of

life together. Then when I had my C section and I could not once again, it comes back to go into the freaking bathroom. I could not go to the bathroom for weeks, and I was texting other friends who had c sections and they would like tell me their tips, like hold a pillow, like turn on your side, like doing these things. And I'm like, I'm so glad I can talk about shooting with you, Like, thank you so

much for letting me talk about this. It's really funny. Yeah, you gotta know you're not alone in these things, because it's just like your body is changing so much and it's kind of like scary overwhelming sometimes because you don't know if you're normal or if this is no normal, or how to handle it and you're not like mad about it, but you just need to know. Well, I'm mad about that one. That's the only one I'm mad about. Hip pain and it's cool and I'm good with that,

but the hypnorrhoids, Yeah, I don't like that part. Fair enough enough, fair enough, you don't have to love it all. So tell me about like you're in a really spiritual season of life right now, you're in a very real season life. I'm actually looking at this picture behind you and like just like just like tell me, explain to me this piece of art, because to me, this sums up how you kind of view life. Okay, well, this

is um. This is a print from Dolan Guyman, who's like Colorado artists, and it's um St Francis St Francis of ASSISI and it's like super colorful um and he's just like holding all of the animals and butterflies are like flying free around him, and he has a deer laying at his um feet and I just love it so much. It's also um in the court we had to put our dog to sleep on New Year's Eve and it's now holding her corner keeping it coz. Yeah.

So um that was Bill and I Christmas present to each other this year and animal he loves all the animal he loves all the animals and fans. Yeah, he's the animal saint. And so isn't that weird, like letting go of one life? Kna your dog, he was such who was your baby, and it's like at the same time, you're making room for another life. Like that's so weird.

I think that's the only way that we were like able to get through Kona's like passing is because we like it's just so the circle of life is so crazy and real, you know, because like Kona was like, I mean, Kona is my dog when I moved here, but really, like Bill spent more time with Kna than I did. You know. They were connected. Yeah, like they snuggled in bed every morning and like they were just like she was a lazy dog and she slept under the covers, so she you know, they just had like

really had a connection. And so anyways that I think, just like I'm grateful see that that maybe God needed me to wait to have this baby until it was like time to let Kna go, because if I didn't, I don't know that I could have let her go. Like it was just the worst thing ever, you know, but holding on too like this I tried really hard, Like especially once we were getting towards the end, I'm like, Okay, I have to focus on this baby that I am carrying and not like let hang on to like the

idea of Kona when she's suffering. Yes, and like I can't keep getting this worked up. I mean it was like there was like three days of just like insane crying and stuff, and I'm like, this is not I can't. This is not good for me or for my child, you know, So that maybe made it easier to like let her go when it was time. How do you

now a gate? Because you are so faithful and spiritual and like you come from a very spiritual family, how do you navigate things like I'm still processing this tornado and like they're natural disasters that happen all over the world, and it's like it's so weird because these huge things happen cause so much destruction, disrupts so many people's lives, kill people like wreck situations, but yet you find God in them because people show up and they help and

it draws people together as a community. But then like people go on with their regular lives and you have like I just struggle with that. Dichotomy is not even the right word of like feelings of feeling like Okay, I see the joy and in the love of the community coming together, I feel this intense pain and overwhelming feelings of like the wreckage that's happening, but yet then life is still moving on, Like sometimes I feel schizophrenic. How do you deal with stuff like this? I don't know.

I think I guess I do think that. Like again, like working on a hospital setting gives me a lot of perspective because a lot of times, like well one like the circle of life that I see that like some thing's just come to an end, like we all actually everything, we're all coming to an end. You know,

are are like earthly life. But also like it's really so the best part of my job is getting to see like people recover and like so that part, like even in this tornado, like watching our community come together, like like it was Mr. Rogers like find the Helpers.

Like to me, that's like the most inspiring, like seeing our community come together and like everybody leaning on each other, and you said, like yesterday, it's like y'all came over here and like stayed here and we were all together, and it's like the same actually after the two thousand ten flood, we were all together, like we that's when you and I lived together and we had people coming and staying with us because like they couldn't get to their house, you know, And it's like it's just kind

of like to me, I guess that's what's like real and that's how I get through it is like looking for the goodness and how it's like bringing people closer despite all the like super horrible nous of it because you deal with heavy pain a lot. You see people's pain. Like to me, like I sometimes get so overwhelmed with like taking on the feelings that I am perceiving as their pain and like creating my own story for it that like I get so lost in my feelings, like

how do you keep how do you not? Don't I'm super empathetic, Like I think that's probably what like makes me good at my job is because like I really do, like I always think, like, oh my gosh, if this was my mom, Like if I'm caring for a patient, I'm like if this was my mom or if this was my sister, whatever, you know, if this was my friend.

But so I do, but also I don't know. Also I, like I said, I get to see like the realness of the ending sometimes, you know, and I prove people probably change for the better, Like you see like the the blessing. Probably there is probably a blessing in the recovery, and you know, sometimes there is blessing in the end, like the end of the earthly life, and like it is like just the beginning of like their eternal life, you know. And so like I think you stay very

connected to your faith a lot. I I feel like that's the only way I could ever get through a day in the hospital, because that would otherwise just be so sad, you know, and sometimes it is sad. But and you also are doing action steps every day, which I think action also helps you, like people to feel instead of just sitting around with their feelings, Like you're active, doing everything you can to help people every single day.

And so it's like if it does comes in and you know, all the action was done that could have been done, and that probably has to give you some sort of peace, Yeah, totally. Yeah, and hopefully their families too, you know, like just making the right choices. Healthcare is hard making choices. Like you have to make hard choices,

don't you. Yeah, And I have to like you know, see other see other people make hard choices for their loved ones, and that's really hard to you know and not qualified to like necessarily like guide them and their choices, but I can, you know. I feel like somehow therapists end up being like the listening ear, you know, like they just they just like let it all just out. We're like, you're kind You're become a therapist really, like yeah, it's funny. We really should get more like actual theory

be classes and um, like you know psychology. Well we do take a lot of psychology classes in school, but we should probably even get more of it because we end up being like psychologists. I feel like some of the time, like people just pour their feelings. Yes, yes, it's totally and especially like once you've developed like a rapport and you see the same patience over and over and you're like helping people get up, go to the

bathroom shower, like you're very intimate stuff. Yeah, and you know, and like even things like um, talking about like with patients, like they when they ask you like, oh they want they want to get back to having sex, and you're like, well were they? So they feel like they can talk to you about anything, you know, So that is I mean it's I I like being a part of that story.

So what do you do when you're having to have these very intimate, deep, hard conversations with people, like the therapy conversations like how do how do you when you find yourself in those? Do you just trust your instincts? Yeah? And I mean like yeah, and training, you know, that's what we're trained to do. So people probably hanging on

your words. Yeah, day Amanda, this is a lot. Yeah, I mean that's a high pressure job because when you are dealing with life and death and like it's just it's emotional, especially for like a seven months pregnant momau you know, like it just takes a lot to be there all day long, you know. So, but it's I think it's nice. That's probably maybe what it helps me keep going. Like like you're asking, like what about working pregnant?

That's probably it. If I was doing it, if I was doing something that was just for myself, I probably would have a lot harder time. But because it's not like for me, you know, yes, And I'm like, what my number one right now? Number two, I'm a helper, So that like is what probably keeps me like a lot more motivated to keep going. How do you refuel and refuel yourself after like giving, giving, giving and helping, helping being and like being there and this rock for others?

How do you fell back up? Why do I want to cry right now? Ice cream? I don't know. It's a horrible answer. No, it's not it it makes you

feel good. I have really learned to give myself a lot more grace, like in the past, not just since being pregnant, just like really in the past couple of years, just like not over committing to having stuff to do every night, because I refill by sitting on my couch with my husband and like just relaxing and or with like close friends, but not necessarily like going somewhere or you have to be on you have to be in a cute outfit with heels on, talking in my pajamas

with like ice cream, Yeah, with ice cream. So yeah, that's it. And I like and I like have really enjoyed also like being around babies, like now we have a lot of ends with like new little babies and that's super fun and like kind of fills me back up, you know, like I have a lot of fun with that. So you're really good with the babies. Well, I'm really excited that would get my own and something fun. Fact Amanda and Bill are not finding out the sex of

their baby. I mean, you're going to have such a surprise. I know. I love surprises though, like I love surprises, and I knew that I never I've always known that I didn't want to know the gender so and people would be like, oh, you're gonna change your mind, and I'm like, I don't think so. And I drive everybody else nuts, But it doesn't drive me not Like you're just like you are. You are so it's so worth

it for that surprise for you that you just can't wait. Yeah, I can't, and I honestly, I mean my goal, um is to have a natural delivery. I think that's a great goal. What's your first hypno that class birth? Yes, we took a hypno birthing class. You're bolder in your book about it. It It sounds amazing. It's very um Yeah, it's yoga change reframing things, rephrase, Like, what are some of the words they tell you to rephrase, um, instead

of contractions, you say waves, which I love. Yeah, you change like a lot of the scary words about like birth, like instead of pain, you say like tension, pressure, like changes in sensation. But you're trying to get out of that like pain, tension, fear cycle. I love that. So I'm really Yeah, we just had our first class and I'm really hopeful that it will be I don't know very much yet, but I'm hopeful that it will be. Really hopeful. Something I've noticed about you being pregnant is

you have been very calm. You've been very calm. Have you noticed that about you? Yeah, like more. I don't know why you have been Like it's like a mother league calm, honestly, And I think it's like something that happens. I think it's like, honestly, like a mother's calmness, Like it's a comforting calm. Like you have this like piece about you that you've always been an amazing, one full,

peaceful person, but like it's different, you've been very calm. Um. I think I have always known what kind of mom I wanted to be, you know, and what is that calm and fun and like um and like creative and so like, but not, I have never wanted to be like super anxious or high strung like that is that is definitely not what I want. I do not want that.

That's kind of why what led me to like hypno birthing looking into that anyway, because I do not I'm not subscribing to the like birth has to be super stressful for anybody, for the baby or for the mom and so like that. I'm hopeful that that will not be my experience. I like you have a lot of

confidence with with your birthing experience. I think you have to well, and you know what, regardless, at the end of the day, like I'm not like dead set, I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm not going to do this or I have to have it this way, Like my intention is to have a natural birth, like no medication, just just me and a that. But if it doesn't happen,

I'm not going to beat myself up over it exactly. However, at the end of the day that I end up getting a healthy baby is like fine, totally, totally fine, But you want to have your intentions set in your mood. But yeah, I feel like you have a lot of confidence of like I just like I've seen you step in like you're always a confident person, but like you

have a very knowing confidence. And I feel like that's the thing with motherhood is like you have to know what you feel is right well, and like like I think, yeah, yeah, I mean I've always wanted this, so like I know what I want and I'm just like that's I'm just gonna go try to do everything I can to get it to like make it what I want. You know. I love that, Kayle. We're gonna wrap up. This has

been so great. I've loved this conversation. Tell me just because you've talked about a lot of the cycle of life, and we've talked about like you know, like you've struggle to get pregnant, getting pregnant, like all the different feelings, emotions, natural disasters, worrying, not worrying, like how things are going to happen. There's always the next thing, like what is the point of this experience, this life experience for us? Like what are we all doing here? That's not a

big question or anything. Um, I mean the helper in me says, just to like make each other, like help each other through it. You know, I don't know if that's a real answer, but like that we're all here like as one collective and so like this is like the human experience, not just my experience or your experience, like all of our experiences together, and so like whatever, my contribution is to like the community into helping other people and to like being a friend and a spouse

and a mom and like all of that. That's that's my earthly goal. You're such a beautiful soul, Amanda, so likely to be your friend. Yeah, well I love you. I love you too, and I in every podcast that will leave your life. So what do you want people to know? Gosh um m m that I guess. I guess that just to try to douce to like find a way to do to do something and like realize that most of the time it will make you feel better about whatever, like you're upset about by doing something

for somebody else. And that is especially true. And it's like time of like the tornado, you know right now, And so I was just feeling stressed this morning and thinking like I should probably figure out how some way to go help some people like about this tornado, you know, like we need it already? Are you let us stay else? Yeah?

I know, yeah, I know. I was just thinking they're going to think it's really weird if this woman who's like waddling around with a huge was like, hey, can I come and help you lift and move some stuff? Like no, go home lady. Yeah yeah, thank you for joining me, Amanda. Thanks Caroline so much. I love that baby. Thanks bab