Kristen Brust and Laney Crowder

do with quiet Caroline. Okay, here we are this girlfriend confidential heart too, and I have two my favorite girlfriend's play Crowder and Christen Breast in the house was that were actually in the Crowder house, Were in the crowderhouse, Crowder Treehouse, the Crowder treehouse, because literally, you're in a forest, feels like it, except there's a house there in there, in there, and you can't see him. The bamboo hides it.

But here's the problem. We don't know how to take care of bamboo, and so if it gets too tall, it'll block our view to indigenous, to our people to know. I haven't probably learned it yet, but I didn't think the other day, pressed that's good. Would you just say haphazardly, hap hazardly disheveled. Have quite a vocabulary, Lanny did not have. Has really whived together the most amazing lunch. It was

pretty good. That happens about twice a year. I feel grateful and don't tell Corey that's why when you're in there wondering like how happy Michael beebe had this spread, I'm like, well, Corey never gets this. And I was like, man if math okay at home my day and I just had all this homecooked food just out for display. He'd be so happy. But don't you feel don't you feel like it's the reason you do it for girlfriends, because they wouldn't like pressing, wouldn't walk in and be like,

this is a beautiful table of food. You'd be like this is awesome, like just you know, like that's why you do it for your girlfriend. Corey wouldn't have noticed the gathered sun did the we go take sure with He just totally nostalgic for me because my mom used to me, do you punch all the time? This takes me back to one of the child I'm so glad. So we've been really already precovering a lot of like pretty strong topics. Here were sold all the life strong.

I will say, in all of the world, you're meant to safe this spots. I love that. I feel honestly, I feel like I could come and just does this sound awful? But Pato is a compliment. Just don't hold my feelings on y'all. Really, it's what I told you earlier. So I'm sorry for dumping all this on you, and I said, you're lifing on us. This is just like, this is what we do. We talk about the good, the bad, the ugly, sort it through, and then too

much letter. We get together and sort it all through again, same stuff. Everybody's rotate the grab bag feeling because he's good. We said that, we said, I forgot who described it. I'm gonna take that back for god. My eyes twitching. Everyone had my eyes switching on time. So what was it like you and I have when we talked about something, We're like, oh, we're not going to stress about somewhere,

we're gonna give it to God. Like the visual handing it over, which I actually was inspired probably am I visit because I feel like you're making a fast I feel like chrishing what I'm saying to the right track, going here, going, I'm not coming on you, Okay, I'm

like yes, okay, I'm like reading a flash card. Yeah. Um, So Hayley Hubbard actually um inspired me to have this visual and and so I've tried to use it a few times when like most recently in my discussion with you, for me, it was just handing my marriage over to God and it's not but it's bad but present I kind of speed dated, you know, for everybody who's new.

You guys know, y'all got together and then how many months? Person, we're coming up on four years and we've had we had two babies on our one baby in heaven, a new home, like I don't could be so mad. I mean, I don't know how many like top ten records or whatever, you know, a number one, Um, just a lot of life lived in four years. But that's what happens when you find your person he doesn't go for it. Um. But I was saying, there's no time to date, just

real for us. So y'all are a reverse dating. So now you've got all kids, alternate life revers life. How is that? Because Lane and I did it opposite. We've we've been with our guys forever, Like Michael and I've been together for over ten years. You and Corey even in coming up. I know, it's crazy, how oldvergall when you got together sixteen and seventeen, you've been together. I told my age, I don't think I care. I think I'm blocked about my age yesterday. So I think we're okay. Yeah,

a long time. But you think of then your babies when you're together, and then you become adults together, and then you do music industry together. It's like a lot of different lives and y'all navigated a lot because like when you and Corey first got together, it wasn't like he was just rolling in the success yet No, there

was no rolling. There was no roll and we you know, I think your parents were I'm sure if I'm a parent of adult children one day, hopefully I would have the opportunity that I would tell my kids the same thing. Are you sure you need to get married at twenty two and twenty three? You think you haven't figured out? But you have no money? Or are you gonna do for health insurance? But you know, there were a lot of breath Yeah, I mean, I don't think my parents

were terribly stoked about that. I won't go into the conversation, just like this is the best idea. Listen. There may have been an intervention right before my wedding today, is this really what you want to do? I remember the dinner conversation and it wasn't anything against Corey, It's just you. You know it's gonna be a hard road, yeah, because it's like there's no plan, and that's what all three of us have in common, Like we're all the musician families.

Like there's no set plan on how this thing is gonna unfold. There is nothing today or life because even today, yeah, ridiculous, Like some people who want just to really safe, why you wanted all organized and like mapped up, don't go into the music and highly encouraged a lot of people not to marry. But it's so much fun. How in your twenty years being glory, how much have you a lot of the adventure and grow up with him? Like

how much is that meant to you? I I think because I've been a part of it from almost day one, Like I feel invested in it. I feel he's done a phenomenal job of making me be a part of it. Um. You know, I would work full time job so that he could go out on the road and make negative money, and so he's done a good job of I mean when when we buy something, this is this is because of you. When he has number one song, this is

because of you. So that part has been great. Um, and there's a square Crowder he's a great producer, songwriter, and Christens he's a Lowkash Preston of Lowkash by anyone who's listening doesn't know. But there's been, you know, plenty of days where it's like, what are we thinking here? You know the last week when I texted you, I mean, if we're just being really real, yeah, I mean I left. My husband left me with a crying baby. This is not his fault and I'm just laying the bus was

leading in life roles on. And we have a two month old who was losing his mind and a two and a half year old who had hurt feelings because dad's leaving, and I'm only one person and he's looking at me like I don't know that I've ever seen him, like I want to stay more with me, you know, texted Lyney and I was like, um, friend, like he's got you know, Celeney called me, he's really giving me the business sell two month old. Oh my goodness, I remember I got that text and I was like, you

know what, I'm just gonna text your back. Come over tomorrow. Let's talk through everything and whatever. Something was like you have to call her because it's like ten thirty. Actually, if it's night, we're not like calling that, Like yeah, but I picked up that phone caller and crying baby answers for like two solid minutes love or crying wow, but little rough party three is all crying right now,

like everyone's trying. And so it broke my heart. And I sat on my bed and Corey was outside because he sits in the backports, you know, and not he loves it, and it was too cold for me. And I thought, Okay, I'm gonna go down there and tell him I will be back at seven am and tell him to like take care of our two babies. But I gotta go down there because legend, I've never heard

him cry like that because his stomach was hurting. And then you were crying, and I mean and then I'm in here like about to cry, and I was just like it broke my heart, but we worked through it. Did you go over there? I didn't. I sat there. We just talked for like ten minutes and then I just need to say it, you really get it out?

Why is that like earlier on if you remember here, like I just immediately had to cry because you know, you just have all these things you're going through and you're stressed out, and it's like, as soon as you can cry and get it out to your girlfriends, why do you feel so much better? I feel't know have girlfriends or someone to say that too, are miserable people. I mean, I just feel like any sadness only lives like once you bring light to something that can't exist anymore.

Like that, Yeah, and you have to be able to say that really start most things. And there are the things that you don't want to bring line too, are the things that are like the most insecure, the most vulnerable, the most like exposing yourself in a way where you're not like this strong warrior process because wait, let's all just submit. Those do not exist. That's the problem. We think they do. They do in Hollywood. They don't. They don't in Nashville or any other city I've lived in. Yeah,

that's not real. And you're not treat a place with you because your hair is gonna block on the video or nothing. We're really easy in the video, but you're so pretty and when people not see your face, you know, I just play you that have a update that my package for Amazon was delivered a Mango Girls Stay Classy t shirts? Did you get one for all of us? I'm doing okay. I mean, if if you're not getting that set for Christmas, it's over. Listen, I claim Blanche, Okay,

you would. I would like to be you are. You're way prettier than Dorothy. But your reasonable like Dorothy. Oh, it's kind of like saying, must be Miranda, you know, but like Mariana is the really level headed one. Yeah, but she's she's always a carouchy. This is a little Oh she's so Hia. Yeah, you're a mixed train Dorothy and Sophia. Is that gonna make HER's gon tax a point? Now? Anyways, I was gonna I'm gonna finished this thought because we will lose it because I was inspired to hand it

over to cat. That's what we were saying, What were you handing over to God? Everything is? It's not calling apart. I mean, we're fine. It's just but also we like to control it and have it be a certain way that you want it in your mind. We're in a season of abundance, and abundance is a good thing. I wrote a little post about this, but like it's all the things. It's babies and songs, it's too ring, it's NFL and pepsi, and it's all these really great things.

But all these really great things are just all at once, and someone has to hold the home front down, and someone has to get on a bus, and we've the other someone with a screaming infant to call her friend. So I just had that moment with you last week where I was like, Okay, I've got to get all the way down. I just got to unpack all of it,

and then I just have to hand it over. And then essentially every time I try to take it back or being control of my marriage, I say, essentially going to God, insane, I'll take that back because I can do better than you. But we know that's not true. So it's like a good reminder, you know. And I feel like he keeps looking like over the last week, I feel like God is like, oh, here's she come again, and I just turn around, take a you turn right

before I get to them. It's hard to turn around, though, Lady, you're really good about this. You're talking about that how especially like preparing for motherhood, how you have to learn how to well, I'm trying to prepare for motherhood. How you have to learn how to give it over to God or else you'll just self destruct completely. I mean, because you're nervous when you're pregnant, this sonth is going

to go wrong. And I'm always scared that, like even before getting pregnant, that I'm going to kill the child before I get pregnant by something I do, which look always back to fear. Nothing good comes from fear period your point in life and whether you're trying to get pregnant, where you're trying to start a business, where you're trying to I don't know anything. You cannot have fear. But my whole thing was you can be nervous before getting pregnant.

Why are you getting pregnant? Then you're nervous about the birth. Then you're nervous about him coming home and die? Who said the first however long back him? You know the nervous about I mean, I homo sex yeld you undergard is the schools say, and your nursalizes getting like if you do not get a grip on an understanding, like every day it is a daily choice to be like I aren't living fear about my people today. It's a long road. How do you get a grip doing it

every day? And how do you when you are talking to God, when say you're in the depths of one of these um spirals, which I can easily find myself even though like I it's I run it because I'm one of those people who like preaches, have faith, preaches, trust preaches all that. But when it comes to myself and when I find myself in a situation where I really want something or really you know, you're trying to almost force it. It's like you almost ex God out

of the equation. When in every other part of my life, when it's going great, you're smooth, it's like, oh yeah, God, it's totally control. He's He's the man. But then when it's not going exactly how you wanted it to go, it's easy for me just to start having so much doubt and fear. If I is twitching at you again, like it what you're saying. So what do you tell

yourself in those moments? I mean, I think it's just the ultimate belief that God is in control and telling yourself down on a daily basis when you can't make sense of things, because I've seen plenty of things that I can't make sense of, but I've seen plenty of goodness and love and positivity in the world too, you know what I mean. I think it's what you choose to focus on, at least for me. I mean, if I'm focusing on where in the world is this world

going right now? And kids these days and whatever, then I'm gonna see it. Oh. I just had a little truth bomb come in my head. So we talked about my Amish friends before. I have Amish friends, um, and this was on their wall, cross stitched on their wall, and it says, what you see in a person mostly depends on what you're looking for. Oh okay, So I really enjoyed that. Let you see in a person mostly depends on what you're looking for, And so I the worlds feel like I need a little lay down with

that sentence for a minute. So if you're going to see bad and negative and hurt, if that's what you're out this, fine, that's what you're gonna find. There you go, dang lame. Also, if you think about like leaning and I talked about all the time, like when you start to panic about kids, how their God's kids first. You know, every baby is God's baby's first. We're God's kids before, we're our parents kids. But I think we just really

I don't know. I feel like so many times you're like, Okay, they're God's kids first, their God kids first, and then you try to take the control back. But like, ultimately it's like that with anyone if you're just looking for like there's so much more good in the world. Like I get fearful to go to Target. Okay, Tart tar J, there's something happening outside. I feel like our house, your house is getting cut down. I just a hard house.

I don't know where they are. Um, it's like I'm fearful of going to Target because I've read like too many stories about the kids being technic from Target. Yes, how do the kids get take from Target? You don't want to know. It's like, well, it's like this is why I cried twice in labor, so I was like, please don't come out of me, like I can protect you where you are, Like I get freaked out when

they're on their way out. Stay in forever. If you're protected and you're way easier to travel with and I love you. Um, and you really depending on my heartbeat, which is so like hopeless romantic about it. Anyways, it's all of those things. I don't know where I was going with that, but it's just fearful and it's not fair.

Like there's also so many good things when you're out in public, and there's like, you know, sweet old people that are like I mean, I had those nineties six year old woman stopny in Costco because she just wanted to look inside the car seat because Legend was sleeping, and she was like, who's in there? It's really sweet? She said how old and which? And she was like, I've got five babies. I mean, just use a walker.

That's somebody's mama, you know. And then like there's more of that happening at Costco that day than there is

baby stealing. I know. It's like there's like, okay, so you have ad to work within a day and just just wasting two minutes of your podcast but no, you know, but so you have a hundred percent of energy to work within a day, and nine percent of it is great things, Like there's so many blessings you can be thankful for, but then there's this two percent of fear that's really dark fear that's like awful things that are

just like the worst things ever. And if you spend all of your energy focusing on that two percent, and that two percent of darkness takes over your whole life when really you're just laser focusing in on that, when you could be focusing on exactly what you said, on the things that you want to see. But it's like it's because we know our Once we like and visualize or like know our worst fears out there, we get so scared and if we think if we worry about

it and keep it close, that won't happen. That really, if you worry about and keep your fears close, you're just living in your fear. But necessarily, let's like think about okay, just this may be done. But like I always just think about the sky. It's a great big sky. But one cloud cancels out the sun in two seconds, you know, Like so just shift it through, like keep it moving, wins and change. Maybe that's why I don't get stuck on that cloud? Do they say that? That's

what they said it. I'm on to yoga this week because the first time I'm like five, And did you love it? I do love it if every time I go, I'm like, I need to this every day. But at the beginning of class, when you're like laying then you're like, that gets really it's really hot in here. And he said, let every thought that comes across room and float away

like a clouds like that one. It was because I did I have a worrying about something that after named like not crazy word, but like something you need to be doing any when did Walker had his spook back ready before I left, blah blah blah, and I just like started letting them pass away. So I think it's taken not to you percent I'm letting you passed away,

and don't get hooked on it. Don't get hooked on that because like if you get hooked on that one rain cloud, then that one rain cloud is your whole sky. Or if you just let it float away, then all of a sudden you've got a sunny sky and you could be back in sunshine. And even those rain clouds are bringing all sorts of good things once they move, So take the quick lesson from it, but don't get hung up on it and let it overtake your entire life. It doesn't need to be you. That is the thing.

Like skip it, just skip over it, notice it, get the lesson and skip. Keep moving. Yeah, don't get hung be thankful for whatever goodness you can find in your own life, and then go back and focus on the good. Yeah, we got pumpkins, is your surprise. I love some fall, but this chick does seasons. I don't know why, because it makes you feel so happy seasons because she has antline. I'm like, I'm such a bound book about Halloween. You are.

But after this, when this is over, we're gonna go downstairs and see what happens when you start seasons too early? What have been most discussing? Roddy roddy upon it and downstairs we started and we started this season, And like August's Tea, you should start as soon as you can. I know that suppose not thinking, but they don't show you this on Peteress Pumpkin. When you start and as it's big, you think about it. Okay, explain what it means to you. I don't know. Just am I too

much today? I feel like it just really is. Why would you be too much? Really you're too much? And banking that you're too much? No, it's just like what a sentence, you know, like people to say certain things in it just you're like, wow, that's really something like if you start a season two Sam like, don't jump the gun. Yeah, don't don't force it. Don't force a season. Hey, I just found this quote. Okay, I can't redeem myself here.

You don't need to redee yourself. Everything you're doing, you're having the bad self talk right now is self talk on bad self talk, And that has been something that I have been in a drinking game. We're drinking too, munch, but I have been really working on my self talk and I want to keep talking about that to everyone listening, because you've been a perfect example. Sorry I'm using as an example, but it's so easy for us to talk

bad to ourselves quickly, like put ourselves down. If my daughter is like a little freaking sponge is literally Christen two point out at home right now. Like I showed her a picture from her of herself from a year ago and I said, love, this is you, and she said, oh my gosh, I can't even handle that, like your two and a half. But like they're using you know, they're just watching and I'm like I like, Mom, we're really on this. We're really struggle bussing today. Struggle busting.

She told me, unbelievable, But it's true because it's like, you know, if I haven't talking about how I don't like the way I look, she's gonna know that's the reality. Yeah, okay, So this quote that I found said she's not afraid to wait anymore for she knows that God will open doors beautiful and perfect in their time. I love that. So starting the season to Stanleys, you with rodd and pumpkins, Oh, yes, that's good, but no want to clean them up except

for yourself, right because I've loved him out there. Coryat noticed them? Did he even notice that you got him? Yeah? They're decorated. They're cute, like make you Mouse and Batman

did little kids, didials on a couple down everything. And she comes over now she's like, we're paying pumpkins, but I do you know, Like there's that's the beauty and just really coming into the season when you're supposed to and embracing the journey a little bit and getting you know, just soaking up what you're meant to soak up, and not rushing a season I just said, I was just

telling you all this. I did a meditation today and the meditation was, imagine yourself staying on a park bench with your with yourself twenty years from now, so your twenty year old, twenty year old future version self. And what would your twenty year old future self say to you now in the middle of all this, Like what would she look down? She'd put her arm around you, and what would she say to you right now? Camo is still a neutral always, Um, yeah, that's what would

What advice would she tell you? Like what would she tell you that she loved the most about the past twenty years? And what would she tell you? What would what would she said? You're saying this it makes me tearful. I know it's because I really think she's just like, enjoy your life, like stop making problems out and not problem problems. Yes, it's like stop rushing, stop freaking out. My dad said it was a couple of years ago when we were talking earlier, like we were not in

the season of success. I mean we were like verge of it, whatever success is. But you know what I mean, Like you're you're sitting your stressed out of all things and where is this career going to go? And whatnot? And my dad said, you two are living in the best days of your life. And you don't even know what I think of that quote all the time. I love that. I don't even if he remember that, But that's coming from someone at the time that it's probably sixty,

but it is. It's the big middle of everything. You know, we're all young adults, were all happily married, have family, starting families. This is like great careers that were all excited about all of the homes that music built. That's beautiful, thinking, that's amazing. A lot of people in Nashville that can't say that it's a blessing. And it's like I feel guilty for not feeling blessed all the time because I look at my life and right now y'all obviously knows,

but like we're a season. I'm starting to try for a baby and wanting baby, and it's just like, you know, it's God's timing, and so like whenever I stress about it, I feel guilty about stressing because it's like, what am I upset about? Because God is this blessed me so much? Why would I get greedy about another blessing and try to jump the gun for when that's supposed to come in my life. Like I feel I feel guilty for

not being noticing my blessings all the time. You told me you can have what greefs grief and gratitude in the singes And I just wrote a blog I'm gonna publish for you guys. Wow, Beth at Porter's Call, who is like Joanna Gaines and Burnee Brown had a baby. It could be best. It's best she can we all go to know? Can both packing every everyone should have a bath. How do you get to go talk to Beth? I need to talk to both. We can get you to talk to both. Great. Beth is the best, the

most christlike heart. I can't she's She's phenomenal. There's not no words. But Beth and I were talking the other day because I said, I feel like I this is probably its circling back to the marriage part. But it's like, you know, we have this great gratitude that we have this big season and success. But like and some people on Instagram start to catch on, like low Cash posted a photo and Vegas and I'm posting a photo in Nashville, Like we're never together, like as a family, hardly ever

right now. And so it's hard because you want to be said thankful for all that, but then you're also like, well, dang it, I wish I had my husband and my baby daddy home. When I told him the other day, I feel a little bit like I traded him for these two babies. Like I don't get to have everybody all at once. I get, and so when I do, I have to operate out of black you know, like it's not I'm not operating out of abundance at all.

And when I get him home and like, how are we gonna you know, we're speed dating life, And it's like it said, when maybe we should just let it be for that said, I can have grief and gratitude at the same time. So how do you walk that line? What is that to you? I think it's just saying, you know, some this makes me sad, but focusing on a positive. I mean, it's like simplified as that is. It's just going, that's really sad. But then I also have this, you know, like it doesn't have to be

one or the other. You could have them both. Yeah, that's what we're talking about. Earlier because I'm in the season of I've operated and right and wrong in black and oh yeah, life your creativity and I'm realizing why that kind of am a creative by nature? So creative, but you know I have to Guy's saying you're too great.

I know, but I've never wanted to clarify. I'm coming out with an album like the new single drop in Productions, not coming out with an album, but it's it's to be okay with things, not having to have an A R B answer, and there isn't. It's okay, you can lean the gray. So what are you learning? Because you're redecka in your house right now, and this is when you're having your big revelation because you're scared you're gonna mess it up or something. Love decorating, But are you

scared to pull the trigger? Because I'm a prey to making their own decisions. So there's twenty awesome couches. I'm definitely gonna pick the wrong one from my house. But how do you know if it's wrong or right? Because there isn't her owner right. But in your your internal voice that's talking to you and dictating these fears, what is that voice saying to you, like, because I feel that way too. It just like trying to have a

baby and stuff. I'm scared I gona do everything wrong, but really there's no there isn't always the wrong or wrong. So what is your voice telling you about the twenty perfect couches? The twenty perfect couches? What they represent to me is I don't control. To me is black and white, right, wrong, okay,

and it's okay. So I were best friends. You know, life is easier, we think if we are in control, if we can make the right decision and wrong decision like operates in some form of I don't know, like Grid. That's just not why I have the rules us. But I've met christin us that we gotta cut the string to your bag of rules you're carrying around with you, because you just had the rules for everything. We'll get

into that after. So I didn't really want to know what these rules were, so I didn't know you then I was not in this trio. Yeah, but I wouldn't have you if I had all the rules. Probably it's probably good to cut. I'll tell you. I definitely wouldn't have either of you if I didn't have the rules if that makes sense, because the rules made it so that I couldn't move or fall in love fast or want to baby fast or the cat is my biggest

anti rule. He's my anti rule. Okay, Okay. I would have never had you because you've got have been a voice to men. I never would have met you on bended knee because you'd have never done anything. I'm never would have called her about I never remb my man her instagram a little bit fancy. It was like this really put together, A beautiful woman follows me at the value um, twenty couches to me represent twenty right answers. Okay, so how do you know how to pick one? If

they're all right? Which just big ones? So what happens when you pick one? Are you gonna think you get the wrong one? Got the second guess too? No, I'm not, because that's the point in that, Like what is your what is your brain telling you? Hey, there's those twenty couches represent twenty really awesome way used in my house to book whit one is no better than another, you know what I mean? Like I don't know, that's just

the new little season. I mean, obviously something's that right, But she'd always an athlete, to which I think plays into that like black and white and perfectuates. Yeah, like there's a skill, you go learn it, and then you learn another skill, and there's there's a way to do things you learn play out of that. Yeah, sorry about this. You all play very good defense. But that's a kiddy

shoot a really awesome three partner. Yes, you know. It was parameters And so now that it's not even just redecorating this like with this mom blog concept thing, it's form relief, which is hysterical because you're so funny, like so funny. It's so funny, funny because when I started out, I could have just as easily loved to hit him for No. One to five and print my little Instagram books out from it would be happy. But I love

it and I'm enjoyed people are responding. But it takes a bravery to put that stuff out there, you know, to like go public with your heart and soul. That is being a creative and that is why I want in your dirty car. But that is why people who are creative people, which you are, and I'm glad you're

claiming this now. It is very intimidating to put yourself out there because this is coming from the depths of your soul and your brain and the knot, and you put it out there and you're like, oh freak, what if everyone thinks it's stupid? But I think I couldn't have done this ten years ago because I wasn't confident, okay with go was now. I really don't mean the usde of God didn't like me, because which would never have. I'm just saying the rest of you got your people

as much. I mean, every now and then does it does that like seventh grade comparison and oh my goodness and all I tid of not keeping yes, but those are that's the exception. Now that's not the rule anymore. I love, But I don't know, it's just kind of like so much easier to sort. Yeah. I went to sam not that long ago, and I remember meeting someone who on Instagram was this person that I really was like, this is amazing, this is like one of my people. And then I got there and I was like, not

my people sorted quickly. It just was not my people and you just get it, you know it. And I wasn't offended or you know, I was just like, oh it wasn't a match. Yeah, it's fine, It's totally fine. Doesn't make anything's wrong with them or anything's wrong with you. I always say two really great people to always make a great couple. Usually that's for days. So weak friends, you know what I mean? Coworkers like maybe have two great people but together on a match? Mean these one's broken.

I love that. Yes, I used to have to feel like my eyes twitch again. I'm sorry, I just has to twitch, guys. It just makes me feel like I'm doing a really good job. Even really are really great. I used. I don't even notice it. I really, I really don't. It's because her eyes are so pretty. I used to feel like that I had to make everyone

like me that I had to hired. Were you? I think that's one thirty five and exhausted, and I'm in this season of like zero Fox because I just like I have my best friends, I have my family, I have my amazing husband. We have this beautiful life that we've built and to work so hard at building and start gone through so many ups and downs to get here, and I'm like, I just and done chasing. I'm done

chasing anything right now. I mean, maybe I'll jump back on the hamster at some point, But in this season, I'm done chasing career. I'm done chasing people and done chasing acceptance. You can throw the hamster will away. I don't jump back. I'm done with the hamster. Well, I've been on the hamster in my whole life, just trying to keep up, trying to keep it moving, trying to make sure everyone thinks I'm awesome and great and nice and good. I haven't accepted, and it's like, okay, I

am good enough. Here's the one thing I'm good enough, and then you were born. People are good enough? Why we forget? Why do we forget that? I don't know why. I think the world we allow the world to tell us something different. We allow other people's success to telling something different. But you are no more valuable today with all the things you've done or haven't done in the day you took your first breath, you really aren't no one.

And you feel like I used to feel like I had to get all these like stamps of validation to be like, this is why you should love me because look at what I have done? Or don't you love me for all these things I have done? It's a retired, retired artist mentality. What does that mean? Like it's it's not the chase, oh, because I've had an artist mentality always, just like this chase mentality just gotta get there, got to get there? Where where am I trying to get? Where?

I want to disclaim that there is to me two types of artists, like the ones that are chasing for something empty and then the ones that just can't live a day without doing their craft because who they are and they're absolutely waiting without that and that's just their true God given talent and that's who it is there being, which I think is all of our husbands, brilliant and

beautiful and disable. I just I love being here. I loving at this spot, even though like I'm kind of in a season of just like chilling and like wondering what's the next step, Like you know, honestly we want to start family and all that and just kind of

waiting for that to happen. But it's just I'm so happy to be here that in this place of peace where it's like I know who I am now and I'm learning to love myself just as I am at least that's into like that takes a lot of time and effort for me at least, know, like divorced in it for me the darkest, darkest, darkest dar because I met you when you were not in the middle of bringing up day life before it was no good, no good BC before owner know. I just remember like I

went through really really dark. I didn't like myself. I made a lot of poor decisions. It was just dark, dark dark. Not me. But why is it when we're going through something that throws our whole life up in the air. Why is it that we feel like we're that whole mess? Like we feel like we are that mess, that that is who we are. Yeah, I don't know if it's part of like walking in it and carrying it until you can shed it as you walk and keep beating forward against did you almost feel like ashamed

of it or something? Or it just was ugly? It was not a good time. But then I remember it's sorted. I think all those big life changes always do the most god like, the most god sorting in your life. Like it just sheds every big life change sheds. Miscarriage

shed for me like people energy, you know. And I remember at the end of divorce, like I just had this like new confidence because I just decided like that person who is a fine person, and that nine years it was just not me and I don't have to carry it anymore because I I'm not that like it's a part of my story, but it's not my story. This may sound like to like basic the story thing, but it's like you just get to a point where you're like, this is what I know. What I know

about myself is where I had to go. I know I operate out of love percent at the time. I never need to hurt anybody's feelings. That I can say that like that is a truth to me. I would never intentionally ever hurt anyone's feelings. I love all people. I speak kinder to other people than I do to myself self talk. Yes, So like I operate out of love and I operate out of integrity. So when I go to bed at night, I just have to know that I at least I'm the only one that has

to go to sleep with me. Ultimately, even when I'm laying next to my husband the two months out of the year that I get to do that, I know that it's I've done the best I can do in a day and I did it all for the right reasons in my heart. And so if people you start to slowly but surely learn that like, certain people don't fit in your life anymore. There's people that want there's people that want to assume you failed or assume that you're I don't know, there's just there's a certain type

of person that it's someone who's stuck themselves. And if you're you, I could never do anything to either of you that you would be like I cannot believe Kristen did that you'd be like there. Surely she did not need to say it that way. You know that your intentions are always true. It would never question me. I feel that What is it though, that so when you meet people that you're like, M like, I don't I only have people that love and support me. I think

it's so. I think that's when someone else is stuck though. I think you have to be in kind of a bad place yourself to be wanting someone else to not thrive. Do you think for someone to not be their ear with them, Like, if you don't want someone else to thrive, it's because its loves company, Like you don't want you know, you wanted anybody rooting for me to fail me. Anybody like pointing out work, like, but isn't that terrible that that's even out there, that that's a thing, that that's

just basicly jealous you blocked about. It's called how a dead smelly rat changed my life. Okay, I don't know if you've had a chance to you just break it up. In a couple weeks ago, I went to get my oil changed. I was running in there like a frantic crazy mom. I'm man, cleaning my car out of my car is a disasters on. I'll just be on there a dead rat in your car? No for I put out of my car like that mom, and I was like,

I'm so sorry. To the mechanic, I was like, my car is a miss just please don't look at it. It's horrible at such a mom car. And he goes, ma'am, I just pulled a dead smelly rat out of the car and burn them. You to your car is fun? Seriously. Within two seconds, all of a sudden, I was like, I'm crushing it. I'm doing so great. Oh that lady's got a dead I don't have a dead rat. And I felt really great, like go ahay, look at my

dirt in my dirt, you know. But the more I thought about it, it bothered me that someone else's dead rats, someone else's flaw made you feel better. We feel validated. And so this whole log is about how many dead rats do we see? Other people that like bring out our comparison and oh I'm better, Okay, I'm not as bad as that, or it just made me Realiz was like, I cannot let someone else's junk dictate how I feel

about myself. Well, I think it's like, even though we all try so hard not to get in the comparison game, and like we all love our lives, I do think something about knowing you're not alone in the struggle. It is courting, like totally confidence. It's like, oh okay, great, I thought I was the only one who was a hot mess, but that person had a dead rat, so like freak, We're all hot mess. It makes you feel like validated. It's best we're still looking for that. Looking

for validation is something someone else is doing. Yeah, And so I mean it was that is in need of community too, I guess. But I think it takes like the small step to just say it and then everybody else is like, okay, the same, the same, but I hear what you're saying because it's like catch training cheek is part of It's like, Okay, we're all on this together, we're all doing the best they can. We all have dead rats. But then it's also like, why do I

need someone else's dead rat to make me feel good about? Right? And I mean something worse than like my where my car showed up that day? Then not feel suprad me when I'm like okay, like I should have just own it. I have a messy car. I'm gon get it clean on him to the clean and soig do I threw the goldfish up. I gonna get even fin. It's fine, you know, but it's fine. They love it. Let's take

a beach truck last day ago. They love it. Hey, Carolina, pat like Betty was just like cal pow days helsing and Carolina some that you're gonna listen to this dog. I want you to know that your aunt Christina loves you very much when you were only teething. But when we get back and I think Preston was he walks in and has hands full of put handfulls, handsfull, handfuls handpules. That's a hard handsful that his hands rule um pups. And he was like Kristen like this, I mean it

was massive, so that's just O a role. But I mean, I think it's just at the end of the day, there are no perfect people. Guys. The minute I and I know this is like super intense, but it's like the minute I put out that we lost a baby, everyone was waiting. All these beautiful women were just waiting to say same, like every no one. And that was my biggest lesson in that loss, was that like grief and gratitude at the same time, is that we're just

all waiting for someone to say it. Like it's every giant, giant loss is coming with something so much bigger. It's crazy to me, Like these women were all like missing I said it in the blog somewhere or in the room because you were twelve weeks right, yeah, but it's like, yes, yes, I was baby line to love that little nugget, but like it is it It's crazy because I'm like you just you're in the greatest loss. I learned that miscarriage,

which makes us human. Dead rats make us human. Messy cars make us human, like bad self talk makes us human. All of these things, it's none of it is you're No one has exempt from these things. So while we all look good on paper and Instagram, and I mean, I lost a baby, just like someone that works in a cubicle loses a baby. Just like somebody that picks up my garbage loses a baby. Just like somebody that's a brain surgeon loses a baby. Just like people that

are IBF adaptors lose babies. I mean, think about it. No one's exempts. So all of these like they're just human. Humifying it's not a word, make it one sounds good today is humifying moment where you're just just it just levels the playing field. And I think that that's also to go back to the debt or rat and this also, I don't think it's wrong to want to feel connected to other people. And it's not like you want other people to fail or be in a bad place, but

it's just like, oh, thank God that we're connected. This is how Laney Crowder became a very best friend. I was like a missy car just like all the things, Like I remember when I met her. I was like I remember when I have both of you, like it's a romance novel, but I can tell you each at what you were wearing. But it was just like this like moment of like, oh my gosh, they must be

so put together. They have remember meeting Laney and I never I tried to tell her the story other day and it sounded not good, sounds not complimentary because that good and so was like I thought you were so put together, and then I found out that nice really know you. You almost served me expired pumping God is dressing. No, it's just like you just have these like we hold people to. He's like and even in my own home, I need the same thing. My husband's human. He's a superstar.

He goes out there and does unhuman things to me all the time. He's unhuman because he doesn't unhuman things too. I'm just kinda got a baby to bruce um. He you know, it's like he's every single night he's out there no matter. I mean, guys, let's talk about postpartum for five seconds when I get hold on the topic altogether. But just in the fights that we would have, and then his superpower is that he can forget that he just got off the phone with his wife. Really postpartum.

It was bad with love bug um, and he would just go on stage and for ninety minutes he was It's his superpower. I mean, he is relentless on the road. He's relentlessly chasing our first year of having a baby, he did two hundred sixty five shows. I mean, it's

just relentless. But like he's still human too, Like I forget sometimes he's human and all of a sudden, when you have the human fying, since we're making that a thing, when he has a human fying ten and see, I'm like okay, yeah, like when he needs me, or when there's a dead rat in the car, or when Lenny Crowder's throwing puffs in my back seed for nine hours on the way to Roseberry Beach, which is like a

five hours. But I think putting anyone on a pedestal, no matter who they are, even if it is your husband, who who, whoever, I don't I just don't think anyone can be on a pedestal because no one is on a pedestal. Like, if you put someone on a pedestal, that's a lot of pressure a for you to keep them on there, because if they let you down and they're on a pedestal, then what does that look like

because they're on a pedestal. And then also they're humans, so it's like, how can we put anyone on a pedestal? You can't, and like the most genuine human beings, Like I met Mallory Irvin, who I know you're close with. I love Malory. She's the best, and it was the most like she just had this like light and christ like ability to just make me feel like the world disappeared when I met her. And she was so in and so sincere into a sweet and I'm like, I've

really looked up to her. It's like how she's created this brand for herself and all these things in now she's like manifest like and this is just me watching. I taught her how to manifest. I gave her the book The Secret, and I was like, you need to do this because she was in a dark place. I gave her The Secret. She read that thing flipped her life around. I'm like, can you please teach me how

to do this because you are insane. But it's like that's it's just like Okay, well here's someone who's will be more sincere in person like my whole point is it's it's a news feed and everyone says it's the highlight reel, and it's like, okay, but I don't dislike that it's the highlight reel either, because I don't want to share dark, horrible thoughts with everyone and to like be on the other side of it actually have something to contribute, Like am I gonna go in there and

bash people or politics or whatever. It's like, what's the point, m that's her point. I struggled well, And also like I struggled that too, because like I don't like just putting up the highlight road like on Instagram, because I don't like just putting out pretty pictures and cute otfits at fun events with my cute, awesome husband who's doing

awesome things. Like I love all that, but there is another side to it, so like it's really important to me to share real map, real things, no makeup, like, but really struggles I'm going through, like and I struggle with how to do that because I'll write like a really heartfelt post and then I'll have like massive anxiety about it, like vulnerable what is it? I think ben A Brown calls it like a vulnerable ability hangover or something like I'll have like this massive vulnerable hangover, like

oh my god, I overshared. I like went so deep into my well and I just vomited all the stuff up. And then I'll go and delete the post the next day. But because it's not to be so these somewhere, that's what I think. I'm like, Okay, somebody who needed this got it when they needed it, and I'm not quite ready to keep it out there all the time because it makes me feel super exposed and naked. But I feel like that's so important to balance the highlight real

reason and then just be done with it. You remember the day you called me, I was hanging Garland. You're like, the only reason I knew I published that blog about the loss of our baby. I put it. I felt so good that it finally loosened somewhere and I and I can't even talk about that because I can feel the tears coming, so I am. The next day, Janet Kramer posted it, who she has also in miscarriage. I'll never forget this. I'm not laughing because loss is funny.

I'm laughing because I'm at my house hanging Garland and Laney calls me and I was like hi, and she's like, I just can't believe this, Kaby. She's like, I just don't believe it. She's like, it's just everywhere. And I was like, she's like and I was like, yeah, miscarriage unfortunately, you know, like I'm like kind of a one and three they say one or three, and she was like, no, you're blocked. It's everywhere and see little accent. And I

was like, what are you talking about. She's like, everyone's picked it up. Are you not watching? And I'm like, I'm not watching anything. I'm hanging Garland. She was like, it's like people and E and all these and I was like, are you serious? And none of them had cited me as Preston brust wife, which was my whole goal, and that was just to be a woman not associated with country music, not that it just it wasn't a

headline to me. It was a real life thing. And I just remember being like that was one of my That whole blog, all that whole chapter has completely shaped how I think about everything, because I just know when I did something for the heart of it, when I did it for the right reasons, when I put it where I needed to go along. It goes where it needs to go, and you don't worry about where it and you don't have to force it. That's another thing.

You don't be like here wait oh yeah, don't force the pumpkins, like don't like, don't start, don't too soon. And that's my biggest thing too, is don't jump the gun. I always want to jump the gun because like I feel like in my heart, I always know exactly where I want to go, Like I know where I want my life. You've researched it. I've researched it. I know where I want to end up. I know the goals. I had my whole vision plan board planed out till I die, Like I got it all mapped out. And

so I'm like, okay, let's just get to it. Let's just move along. Next, next up, Okay, let's mabe. We got a little little gown on money. There's twenty right couches. Don't don't rush the season. There's twenty right couches. And so it's like, sometimes you're innocent. And I even got a tattoo. This is what my tattoos about. You know this, But like my three little bards tattoo I got. I burned myself to the curlier um. This one. It's for Bob. I know, Bob Marley, Everything's gonna be all right, but

for this. I got this to remind myself sometimes you're waiting on a wire because you're waiting because sometimes you have to wait in life, which is so weird that I got this tattoo because I go through these all the time. Sometimes you're waiting, preparing to fly and sore, and then sometimes you're crashing, and it's just like in the cycle repeat, So you're never always gonna be waiting, You're never always gonna be flying, and you're never always

gonna be crashing. Of art, yes, but it's only two things I got French Market were pieces of art. One is on a rob once for one of my best. But it's like to me, I have to remind myself because I like to be in the soaring phase. That's what I like. These things have the best each stage, each bird has the best, one has relief, one has

the best view, and sometimes it's great to rest. Like I'm in more of a resting waiting phase right now, and you have to enjoy that, because how wonderful to have time to replenish your well so then when you are flying and staring, you've got strength and energy to do it. Okay, let's see it. Okay, I'm not taking this out. This is once upon a time. So it's all broken and mess up sometimes like it's a fairy tale, and sometimes it's not that it's okay, I love that.

So it's just reminding yourself of that, like, yeah, somebody sold that you go one is right, nong. This is brief and gratitude altogether. Grief, yeah, you know, and that's the maybe all the seasons, like you have to have all the seasons. Can we go out to this Instagram things some of like post or a post. I've've been thinking a lot about this too, just to post or not to post. Obviously there is this pressure where it comes from, I don't know, to post things or not

postings and not. Instagram is just a part of our life and so society and culture and the way it is. It feels like it's not even like living. Sometimes I'm like living your lives with you, but I'm not. I know. Instagram is crazy, it's but do you think we get caught up in we have this responsibility because people are ourselves to be putting ourselves out there. No one's ever made us do that or told us we had to do that, or told us we don't have to do that.

I think we do go until a life sometimes that like this has to be such an integral part of our life, like even to the point of I'm growing your brand or I have a business or whatever, Yes to some degree, but no, to some degree, like we we get to decide what it looks like. You know, we get to make the choices in it. There's the right or wrong way to do it. And it's like it just saysn't if you don't put us out there, don't if you do? Do you know? All right, we

don't have to overthink it. I guess that's and we shouldn't do it. Going back to you, so that your block to we shouldn't do it unless it's truly coming from a place where we are connected to it. We're posting and feel like it's something we want to say and want to put out there. But just because you still feel it for me right now saying like I'm not going to a party, saying be tagged at a party,

and I used to be that way. I used to want to be at all things, and I used to want to be invited to all the things, and now I'm like, I mean even with Preston, Like it's like, can you come to this Austin game, NF, I'll blaw a lot, And I'm like, I just have to be honest, like I would rather be home with my babies. This is your season there and you don't want to miss it. But I'm like, but it's it's so great, right because it's like I get to say I'd ruther be home

with these people. Yeah, and that's my choice, and I like, and you feel and you feel confident that choice, and you don't feel not even sad or fomo fomo fair of missing out. I think everyone knows what that means. But something my husband in reduced me to Jomo, which is a joy of missing Joebo baby. Yes, Cory, you have Joemo and you you go, like the second you feel the pomo, you go, wait, what did I get to do instead of what's going on right now? I

got love. I'm joining that, I got to have this conversation, I got to you know, hang out with my kid. There you go, I got to have twenty minutes of sell so much up whatever Joemo. I love that. I mean someone introduced it to him, so don't not give him all the cross it. It's not like joy cruttering. Yes, no shirts, training marks so where but I but I think the reason I'm wanting to have these podcasts the girlfriend confidentiality. We're confidential where what I don't know what

this day is called? If you get the host of what did they called the host of? What the heck is this called? I don't know, that's about my life right now? What the heck am I doing right now? What the hell am I doing? That should be what I call this? What the hell am I talking about? We all feel that way, like that's just like we were earlier having before we started recording, having these conversations about like really deep things, and I'm like, no one is nailing it. I had a friend, No one is

nailing it. Kim Rose, if you're listening, you have changed my life with one sentence. No one is nailing it, No one is ever namely, no one is ever nailing your mind me today, and I'll remind you tomorrow. We'll just keep passing it on because but That's why I want to have these because I haven't super uninspired lately with just anything. I'm just been kind of in a funk, just kind of like, you know, what is the point of any of this. I'm just not like fired up

about anything right now, which is just a season. But to me, having real talk and being able to share that, especially with women out there, because I know a lot of women aren't as open as we are, you know, and I think a lot of women need to hear these kind of conversations just to realize that you are not crazy, You're not alone. Other people have dead rats in their cars, and it's okay that we go. If I've done my home hard next month, it's okay, it's

gonna be totally okay. But like you said, no one is nailing it. And like, even if you look a picture perfect and even if you seem like you have it all together, who does nobody? Also? Who cares? Exactly? Who are we comparing ourselves to? Isn't the goal happiness? If you can find peace and happiness and Joe Mo with yourself, then who you're hearing, then you're nailing. Then you are nailing it. Nail Okay, don't start the season two are like, don't and there's pick any of the

twenty catches. What was that one? Twit r right, all right, because you're gonna sit no matter what. And for me, I'm not going to kill my own mortuality even before it's born by like I don't know, eating something, or like I need you to not stress stressing for you and we're gonna that. I have stopped twitching before you got my eyes twitching more stress. Gosh, live in the moment. I've just to seem more like my daughter. And I just analyzed when in the cycle life cycle do you

start adopting? When do you because at two and a half, she doesn't have the rules yet and I love it about her. She walked into show her Nashville yesterday with a fancy Nancy costume, a faux for red jacket and floral doc Harmon's like she owned the play. But when do we lose that? I don't know, but that's what I'm like, the best part of Parenthead to me right now is just like watching like when do you start to learn a rule that makes you not as comfortable?

Like Laney and I had just talked about yesterday, how I kind of got I feel like a more basic version of myself, and I don't like that. Like I can write all these things and share these things, but the minute I go to choosen outfit, and fashion is one of my favorite things, I will pick something that's safer, dis because I like it and not today you wearing stripes and liver skin so liberating, But it is like when do you start carrying what everybody else thinks? But

I think now we're in the undoing that. I think that's what happens now. So maybe like you keep it when you're young, you kind of lose it in those before many years, like when you got preteen and twenties and early thirties and all that, and who knows, it can go on for as long as you want. But for me, I feel a distinct season shifting and I think we're all there where it's like I am undoing that, like I'm moving in a new direction where it's like

becoming more myself than ever. Because I don't be excited for our kids, yeah, because I don't want that kids are going to be different, Raising a better generation something I really believe is happening right now, and raising one just to be more free in themselves, not to put all these like society standards that you have to be something like growing up now, like I Michael and I have kids who are gay or gay or something that's not typically in the normal, I would be so happy.

Whereas that those back in the day when our generation, that was a stressful topic. You know, if your kids not following protocol exactly a stressful top. But this at least in the community that we live, and I feel like we all are so open to all of it as well, as long as you love just lives their best life, no harm to anyone else, lives with integrity and love, and then you can just go ahead and stay in your line. But why do we need to

get everyone boxed up? I would even think about that with religion, like why do we need to have everybody so boxed up? Why do we need to say you're in this box. Okay, we're safe because we're all in this box, or like in life, like we're in this box, so we're all boxed up and safe, so we can relax because we all agree. It's all good about the control and right choices. People like to have that because they thought they're in control. Yeah not, but it's like,

why do we need that control? And who was the first person that was the rulemaker that decided that that was the way it had to be. Because honestly, if you go back to the Bible, Jesus love and the first rule is love our neighbors, yourself, So it should stop right there, Like where do all the other rules come from? You know? Keep we could get a big old deal loud of the conversation, but all of follow me thing, there's sin, there's darkness, that's where all that story.

But I just think if you look to find what you see in a person mostly depends on what you're looking for. And I think that we're just looking at and what's the crowds ride? What Listen? This is a prayer ever both of my kids every day before they walk into school, and I say, God, bless you and keep you, have fun and do your best, love yourself and love others. Way to teach self love, because that is very love. Was denied it or wasn't allowed to

have it. I just it just wasn't a thing. It wasn't a thing to teach, It wasn't nurtured, it was I think we all have it, it's just how much was water that just wasn't part are equally important to me. Love yourself is number one because if you can't love yourself, how can you fully love anyone else. And I've had to like figure out how to self love because I even though I had great family, great opportunities, like, it's taking me a long time to get into being in

love with myself. Matter how many people you love to still love, it end up empty. Mm hmm. True if you don't love yourself. And I think you can really only love yourself if you are connected to something bigger than yourself that you can trust that's calling the shots that you get to. Just listen to thee like a chosen daughter. I'm the daughter of a king, and that is priceless to me. That's every morning right now, it's on. I'm here, I'm the daughter of the king. I love that.

And we're all meant to be here. It's a miracle that we're here on this earth. So let's live it up and have a good time and not get hung off on the two percent. It's sad and depressing. Let's live in our ninety eight percent. That's awesome. Don't get stuck in the rain cloud. Push his side and get back to the sunshine. Learn what you need to take from the rain. But let him water your land. But don't stay there, don't live there, don't park your don'taking camp.

Face that dang cloud around, don't follow it. Yeah, don't give your cameras start following it, thinking that you've got to stay connect to our storm chaser. And that's your pression. They're just talking literally, not okay, Well should we wrap up? Let's leave your light. Always do that, so leave your life, leave some inspiration. Although this whole thing's inspiration, like one little nugget. I'm leaving this nugget which also tell my

children every day and myself. The Lord did not give you a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and a sound mind. Now I haven't in my kitchen, thank to you, Thanks to you, And I don't remember life BC before cradder, So glad I'm sure it was not all. There is no life, that's right. Um. I will say that if your heart, spirit, mind is a lot something that you need to say, and you say it for all over your reasons, then you should say it, because I promise whatever you're saying no matter the stage,

you don't have to be nameling. It doesn't have to be perfected, and you don't have to be on the other side of it. Someone is met with those words

and those thoughts exactly where they are today. I love that s And I'm gonna say self talk like you said, because that's the season, and then loving yourself first, not an egotistical way, but like truly valuing yourself, valuing your thoughts, your feelings, not being hard on yourself, you mean valuing, treating yourself with kindness and knowing that you are valuable

and meant to be here. And so don't talk smack to yourself, even in my life with that word just now I'm writing it down, valuing even if you're upset with the way things are going or you're pissed at how things have shook out, find a way to love yourself through it, because it's it's just we shouldn't be hard on ourselves like that, We shouldn't be mean to ourselves, and that's why things self talk. So just love yourself no matter what's one through and nothing's terrible, you can

always like redeem yourself from any situation. There's always something to be learned. There's always something to come from it. And so that's it. A lot of self love. I love you, guys, love you. Okay, girlfriend, keep confidential out out. But what the hell did I just say? Caroline, she's a queen of talking. He was sowing your man. She's on the inside. She got the scoop on the laws to w on the ones, the side. No one can do with Caroline, Carol, no one can