Carol, she's a queen and talking song. She's getting not afraid of things, so just let the flu. No one can requy Carol Lear is care lear? Okay, ladies especially And then but I am really excited for the ladies to have this conversation because I have andre parodies. How is it going? You are the freaking love expert, Like you actually are a love expert. You are an educator, You're a coach, You're an artist. You have so many titles.
You're an ordained minister. One one that I'm really excited about is an nlp CO church I have never heard of before. But like, you know how to answer all of the big questions that women in particular have about men, because sometimes we're like what is going on? Like why is this guy not committing to me? Or why do I feel like my relationship isn't equal? Or you know, it's just like why to manly? And then you talk about the hook up culture and why equality kills intimacy.
I mean, you pill are some serious topics here. I do, but I mean those are the things that are coming at me every day I do. This is not this is what I do for a living. This is not a hobby. This is not cute. This is what I do for a living. I'll be sitting in this chair till eight o'clock to night, like this is how wild it is. Right by the way, it's eight o'clock in the morning. So ah, so these are the things coming at me with confusion. By the way, men are justice confused.
What the hell is going on out there is whether us it were the women. They're all chicks and their dudes with skirts and there condescending and and crass, and you know, men are like, why don't what the you know happen to women? And women are thinking the same thing. So and it's all part of it because you're saying, like women are very much like stepping into their masculine role. So I guess it's like because when you're saying dudes
of skirts, you're saying women are acting like men. But I guess that is the question that we're having right now, is because we are coming into this day and age where women are trying to like claim our power, we're trying to step into our full self and so I guess it's just like figuring out that balance where it's like men can still be men and women can still be women, but we can each hold our power and like be respected for it. But it's just like confusing
to figure it out, to navigate this. Well, it's not as not as confusing. Is that we're over calibrated on both sides because of the culture and the belief in the culture and the pulse where you know, it's so I mean, it's to me, it's rather silly, honestly, you know, to try to neutralize the energy between men and women, you know, is ridiculous, and it's why everybody's struggling and not knowing what's happening. Because everything in nature again, everything
that teaches nature in science. It's not my opinion. Don't have professional opinion because that's what I do. But it's not really me saying you should do this. Is this really the one works? One doesn't work? And what we believe now that's more fair like the Actually the idea of equality does not work. It works. Equality does not work, No, not in love dynamics. It works for money, it works for business, but if you're gonna come in the love dynamic,
it does not work. Everything in nature is polarized, right, Everything nature is polarized. Everything that grows, flourishes. Works in nature is polarized. Is a there's a plus and of minus. There's a yang, there's a yang, there's a masculine feminine. Everything is magnetized this way. That's that's where the energy of everything comes together. This there's no energy. This flattens out. This is like you know, the heartbeat that this did.
There's nothing going on here. When you're saying everything is just in a straight line, equal and when it's not just like flatline, right, So what's happening that kills? That's not nature. That's not how nature works. And every species of nature, the male and the female act completely different because they're made again to fit together, come together to procreate and continued species. We think we're better than that somehow, but that's where we actually derail completely only trying to
step away from nature. Okay, yeah, we're straight. We go against nature thinking, you know, we're smarter, and nature goes in your face, you know, in your face. So there's nothing wrong with women being strongly depend on the powerful. But if you over calibrate yourself in that, you know, and again, in our culture, we teach you to be this the mom when you're you go to school in kindergarten, we're going to be when you grew up. Well, we
used to raison man that way. Now we're reason meant to be sweet, scented, a sensitive, vulnerable, you know, act like a girl. Does it work right? So? So where is that far? It's too far on both sides. That's destroyed everything. It's a sweet spot. Yeah, I can totally relate to you about like the extremities of everything. It feels so like it was everything in life, Like anything an extreme feels too much for me personally. I've always been a moderate person. But where do we do where?
Because how do we navigate? Because it has been out of balance? I feel a little bit like women haven't had the full opportunity to express themselves. So where do we come into. And I don't want to make this like a feminist thing because I know that I'm not. I'm not like a diehard feminist. I am just all about like everyone having the opportunity to fully express yourself. And I don't know if that is feminism or what, but like I think everyone has a voice and should
be heard and you know, respected for it. So how do we navigate these roles, these gender roles and then how do we understand how to optimize our relationship and still feel like we're honoring ourselves absolutely Again, this is called a sweet spot. Is a sweet spot of you know, of extreme extremism and kind of thing is said, why you said there, what's happening is this movement came in for to give women choices. Right now we could use we can have a whole conversation about the patriarchy, and
we need the source of it and how that works. Right, that is actually opposite of what we believe. Again, So what's happened is that in any system, when one has appears appears have more power than the other, there's an injustice. And so what happened is the one that the one who has less power is always trying to gain power. Right, parent, child, perfect perfect system. Right, the kids always trying to get around mom and as rules. That's the full time job. Teachers,
student a right, try to get around the teacher. The moment is a power and his power issues everywhere, by the way, right, um men and women. Right, employer, employee, Right, the employee. The employer apparently has you know, life figured out. The employees are trying to rich rip them off get her head school at the time, you know what I mean. So the power struggle is where things seem unfair even though it's completely normal. All the boss does have the
damn power. He's got his ass on the line in every way to keep the company going, you know what I mean, Teachers, somebody's gotta drive, right, But we we are so that victim idea, that the person with less power is a victim. That's all we calibrating our culture. Right, Are women really victim of men? Right? Because the patriarchy, I'm gonna take it right to the source. People get
to get triggered. I don't care, right, The true basis of patriarchy is men holding holding themselves accountable for the perspection at the provision of women and children. Right, The whole idea of men off. You know, men will stay on the boat, women and children first, Right, that's a patriarchy. Men will die, you know because women create life. Right, So you're actually more valuable than we are. We will we will die for you. This is at the source.
So patriarchy is not men crushing women, even though that's happened. The base of it is this is men really killing themselves, right, to protect and provide for women. So now we believe that for millennia, men have been in front of women, crushing them right in front of them. Right, it's a women are behind. Okay, that's over calibrated in my book. So now we teach women out of vengeance even that you step, you have to step in front of man,
like forget man. Men have fold been privileged this whole time, right, they need to get behind you because you need to you know, make the whole thing even again. Now women are smaller and weaker, that's why men are there to protect them like physically. Again Nature, so, but the idea of we're going to step in front of man, that's the same problem. It's the same injustice. It's ridiculous. It
doesn't work exhaust women. It makes men go what the hell right, and it makes them men on hook from women. They don't want to be man handled by women. But again, if you're gonna say a girl, you're getting in front of him because screw him. They've been screwing us from millennia. So that's not it. So what nature calls is this, really, it's not man in front, it's not women in front. Is side by side partners you and me together under my right arm. You know what I mean, Like, look
at but look behind me. This is my wife and I ball and dancing. I love that, right, That is partnership. There's no there's no in front of behind here, you know what I mean. And that's really what the relationship are the metaphor for dancing or if it's just incredible, it's together, it's her part, my part together. We were two different entities will come together to create something called what relationship. So there's no power struggle in this. This
complementary is working together. And by the way, again the metaphors incredible. If you've ever seen the ballom couple light across the dance floor, it's insanely beautiful. It's just and you wo's almost magical. Right, Well, you know much training when that you're a much practicing because again, like men and women were so opposite right in the beginning, and you know, get on the dance store, you step up on each other's toes and you miscommunicate and you get
the elbow to the face. Have been there or they needed to groin? Been there? Right? Because if she's trying to help me when I'm trying to drive. We we collide and were now we have a collision, right, So that's the dance. Not so culturally, we are sold women to slemon that the more badass powerful get in front of men leaving behind. It's just your fair share that you're getting finally, after your grandmother and your mother and everybody before you. Now you're just going to make it
up to them. Well, here's a little statistic that will blow your mind. Women now, for the past almost twenty years, just as it came up, came out. Women now in this culture are more unhappy women in the all women before in the recorded history. Women more unhappy now than ever in history. So okay, so why and I want why? Okay, why? Here's the big why? Again? Against nature to be masking in, to push, to fight, to compete the conquer like a man. We'll burn you out right. It makes you matt Masking
in turns the men off. Men don't want anything to do with that. I'm gonna say this, here we go. This is gonna hurt. I'm sorry, but when you're in your masking in, you're irritating the man, so they don't want to be around you. And I I cannot I can see that. I can see how and I can see that just from like life and culture, like observing it from my own life. But where is You talk a lot about the sweet spot, and I totally I love to find the sweet spots in life because I
think there always is the sweet spots. So obviously what you were kind of describing with the patriarch, it started where the men were in front of the women to protect them, to save them for survival, and then we continued on and just like we're operating out of the survival mode. But then we grew up. We've grown into a culture. We've grown into like world has advanced, Like you know, we're not trying to run away from a
saber tooth tiger anymore. You know. It's like we don't need the man to like throw his life in front of us. I mean sometimes yes, but like you know, on the daily, we feel safe enough that we don't need to like fight for our survival in the wild every day, do you I mean I do. Maybe maybe we shouldn't, but we we forget how still cave men, cave women we are. Because I'm gonna say this, so men don't run to the car when it's dark men. I'm afraid of parking lots, elevators and staircases. You are,
so you have a sense of like weakness. So being smaller and weaker and in danger all the time, you're never you're never not aware of your physical safety. But you know what I'm scared of, I'm scared of men like trying to take advantage of right now, you're a product of our culture and best again, it's nature, right, women are always been afraid of man because because that men can protect you and men can hurt you, exactly right. So that's again that power thing, right, So you have
to have a certain awareness of that. But you're not without it. You know, it's not like saber tooth. It's not savor tooth. You know, a woman in the woods back in those days, cable woman in the woods is dead. The bear is gonna eat her, or they'll sable or she's gonna get you know, kidnapped by the next tribe and violated and raped and all. So women know, you know, the senior senior d NA like you have that sort of you know, you're small and weaker, right, and so
how do you protect yourself girlfriends, people around you? You never you know, the never the connection and communities what you need to feel safe because if there's not a big man strap next to you, who is going to protect you instinctively just by the size of him, that you need for outlets. So you know, you gotta You know, a lot of women in our culture, now this is funny. You know they're afraid of man because men could be toxic and dangerous. Well, by the way, my in my
world is three types of man. Okay, there's man, there's guys, and there's boys, the ones who are dangerous or the boys. The boys are dangerous. The boys are the ones who have new integrity to the boys are the ones who don't know who they are. They're they're emotional. They're the weak ones who are so insecure that they they have so no power. They're so useless. Is what I want to use that because it's the sastone and their body is still they need to control something and what do
they control women? And god forbid, if they have children, they control their children, beat them. Those are the toxic one. Those are the dangerous one. Man. Real men don't do this at all. So again, it's what you compare, right, Like you're afraid of man. Well, no, you're afraid of boys. Yeah. By the way, by the way, man will protect you from boys. Right again, back to patriarchy, like really so, but if you are masculine women, you only again, polarity
will have you. If you're masking in, you only attract boys, and you think that's man. And of course those are ones. Those are the ones who cheat. Lot. Why if you're if you're in masculine energy as a woman, will you only attract boys? Nature yang positive negative feminine attracts masculine attraction that feminine. So if you're more masculine than a man, you will attract naturally boys and then you think that's man, and there's those are the fuckers. Excuse my friends, but
those are guys who cheat lies. Can you know con Every guy in jail is a bitch with a penis. They're not man. They're insecured at boys, and they try to intimidate with fear because they're so freaking scare themselves. They don't know who they are. That's not man. Men protect you from these guys. So if we're talking about coming into our highest self entering, as you're saying, the ballroom dance where we are working together, where we are both stumping into our full power in our own ways,
the feminine and the masculine. Well, what is it? How does that look like? What is the strength that you call out on women? If it's not the masculine energy, then what is it that women? What is the power that we step into where we can hold a room and hold you know, hold hold this attention from men and women? What is because we have something to offer, we're respected? What is that called? What are you if your femininity still drive the show? Your feminine again? You've
been sold a lemon by the culture. Your femininity is the most powerful thing you have in your own and it opens all the doors, It makes everything everything. It magnetizes everyone your way, men, women, children, dogs, animals, Right like, your feminine glow is a magnet. And when women understand to use that energy instead of their balls, right we're doing in our culture right now? You keep throwing your balls in everyone's face, and you wonder why men don't
stick around and get your balls on it. My face, Your ball's a fake minor real. So how do you what is feminine energy? You? What does that look like? Feminine? Think of a man or like everything masking in exact opposite do I mean an exact opposite. So men, you know, to be masculist, to conquer, compete, push, fight, penetrate, you know, just attack right, go for it, just literally push your way through. To be feminist, to be open, receptive, vulnerable, right,
magnetic radiance, it's exact opposite. So all the qualities that actually attract man to protect you. But if you're gonna stay in man mode, man walk away, you actually get this when you and your masking in you become invisible to masculine men invisibly. They already feel like they are the masculine. They don't want to be with the masculine. So my my question is, obviously we're out of balance in our culture right now, like it's it's out of balance, like out of whack. So I feel and I feel
like you would probably agree with me. I feel like we need more feminine energy and leadership roles. So how all because it has been so like conquer and survive and fight and kill or be killed and protected all that which it was at when there was a time when that was needed and it still is needed. Is it definitely a great part of nature it's there for
a reason. But how do we now evolve as a culture where we have more feminine energy at the helm of our society, so we're not just tearing each other apart all the time and only leading with like our differences, but instead, like you said, because women bring things together, we're nurturing, we have more openness. How does that inner into society more like, it's just to embrace that to actually understand it. You know, most most women in our
culture don't understand that they're fighting with men. They're they're trying to get some some power bag. But this masculine power and it doesn't work. It it wipes them out, It kills them, It overwhelms them. Right, is to not get this You're not actually physically built for that. You don't have the testosterone to sustain conquering, pushing, competing. You know in the world like us, you're just not. So we now call this a vity. This is gonna trigger
people again. But hey again, I'm teaching nature women in conquer mode, man mode, push mode, compete mode for twenty plus years. We now call this cancer training for women. Why because you don't have the testosterone to do this, So every time you compete in push and fight, right, it's your adrenaline glance that are escorting adrenaline and your blood that's a fight and flight response, right, like you're
being attacked by a type of tooth or whatever. And now we know that adrenaline and your blood streams for twenty plus years actually burns all your organs. So women are opening up to cancer by living that stressful, god girl lifestyle. You're not built for that. So what happens when you want to be a lawyer as a woman, and you want to be a top lawyer and it's
still a man's world at a lawyer firm. It's like, I mean, I I think that you know, there's a women need to step into those roles, and like I think that there it needs to be more feminine in these kind of situations. So what about that, Like, how does a woman compete when she's forced to compete as a man in the way that that the whole culture set up. I'm not sure that you're forced to do anything, That's what I'm saying. You have a choice. You decide
to become a lawyer. You know, you've decided to become you know, a financial um investor, right, like those are really high stressful career. And get this, by the way,
statistics again, women are fantastic at schooling. And you know when when a woman goes for life and decides she's going to be a lawyer, right, they not get out of the park faster than men graduates in college from now women, right, there's a there's a women are killing it, except they can't sustain it past forty Again nature, I'm sorry, Right, they can't sustain it past forty. It wipes them out. They get sick, they can't sleep anymore, they can't rest there.
They have all kinds of like chronic fatigue syndromes that goes from neederal burnout whatever. So the nature comes back to bite. I compared. But I think it's not good just to have only men on these type of leadership roles because then we're getting filled more and more like the whole killer be killed in mindset, you know, So we got to even it out. Well, it's not not that way, not that way. It's because again, you do whatever you want. I'm not you know, I'm just give
people choices. You go. But again, women competing competing like men, this hard four years it's like, are you familiar with Like I'm a I'm a car guy, you're familiar with Formula one cars as a four wheels the guy in the middle, they go five an hour, right, Like, that's not even a car, it's it's a jet on four wheels, right, Those things are insane. So women competing with men in the world I compared to this, it's like you stepping into Formula one racing with the guys with their race cars,
and you're fourcylator to a camera. You're gonna get in the race, you're gonna get around on a bunch of times, but the engine is gonna blow up. It's not built for that. And this is what happens to women. You could do what you want, Like, you know you want to be a lawyer, go ahead, But I'm saying, if you look at the statistics, by the time women get to be thirty plus lawyers, law firms cannot hang on
to the women. They cannot hang on to them. These girls are like, I don't want to work freaking eighty hour weeks and be stressed out this all the time. That's not life. I'm a girl, right, And and this when they actually let go, like the law firms cannot
hold on to them. They cannot hold onto them. So they spend fifteen years going to school and not killing it, and eventually they go forget this crap and marry the lawyer that they met they worked with, who's making three dollars, you know, and go have babies and they use their law, the law degree, everything else to support the community that's around her. They don't become useless. They just bring it down to the level where they could sustain it. They're
still what's the word productive part of a system. But then it's only a one race, you know what I mean?
And I totally understand everything you're saying as far as major but at the same time, I I'm sure you run into a lot of friction with people because it's like I totally can see the nature aspect of this, but I'm also like, but women have these amazing brains and they have this amazing like drive, why do they especially like in today's world, I feel like just if women aren't stepping into these bigger roles, than society is never going to change, Like we're never going to get
you know, So, like, what's the answer. I'm not sure that you know anything is to change. But what's the solution? What's the solution because it's obviously hasn't been working really perfectly how it has been. Obviously our culture is crying out for change. We're crying out to like notice different aspects of society, to hear people in a bigger way, to be more inclusive to you know, not just be a man's world. So what is the solution? Again? The
sweet spot? Right? Like I tell women this way to my clients, Like when you already calibrating masking in this feminine side is being neglected, all right? So what happens when you have an inside of you that you want to be this badass like you feel called to be? Like, how so where is the sweet spot? How do they get there? Because I feel like I feel like I
can understand your nature aspect. But then I also like, as a woman who has a lot of ambition myself, I'm like I'm struggling with like I don't want to be limited to only doing certain roles like you know, I want to be able to do whatever I feel called to do. I understand not burning out and like you know, pacing yourself and all that. So what is the sweet spot? In my world, for women, it's more
about collaboration than competition. You know, if you want to be the leading man, you know, it's gonna cost you. It's gonna hurt, it's gonna stop, it's not you're not going to get there, and if you get there, you won't be able to stay there. But if you go again with nature, women are more about community, collaboration, togetherness. As a group of women, you can create everything the hell that you can do, you know, but with in collaboration, like you could change the world if you get it
all together right. But the lone wolf, like men do, it does not work. It will kill you. So you're saying women who go off, women who go off as a lone wolf and try to do it like a man will get burnt out. But men can sustain that lone wolf. And mentility is that how you are created? Absolutely? Absolutely? Or physiology is that? So if you again its nature again the man caveman when hunting for three days, you know, and and would go fight to compete, conquered, take risks.
Sometimes they didn't come back from the you know, from the hunt, but the bill for that and actually it's and it's satisfying to them, it's worth it. There's there's a lot of satisfaction and PLoP. Look what I did, Look what I did for us. Now we could all survive when I was set by the fires of the guys telling stories about how little Joe lost his arm, which is funny as hell, well just cooked for us. It's the same thing. It's never changed. It's still that
in place now. Community for ladies, the support system. This is where you you flourish. We actually work together, you know very men team very well naturally for that purpose, right survival. It's still in our bodies. It's still in
the DNA. So do you think it would be beneficial for men to take some to tap into some of their feminine energy and learn how to work in community because I feel like that, to me is where the big disconnect is is because men go out and conquer and kill and bring it back and lone wolf stuff, and it has been that's been the culture that has been modeled of success. But it's like, what we're realizing
is what women bring to the table. We do form communities, We are inclusive, We do understand stand that everybody is like valuable. So it's like that is what I feel it needs to be. These two go seep into society. Is this community, so how do we do how do men? Okay? So there it goes. So by the way, you know, when I talked about masculine feminine, we both women have masculine feminine inside of us. But what's not working is when you go too far, especially outside your own essence. Right,
when men are too feminine. You see them out there, they don't do anything. They want women to work for them, They want women to pay for them, they want women to support them, help them. Right, they become the girl. This is what married women have done for you. Think the man works and she'd be supported and she does her part basically the children. But these guys already still didn't. I'll make children. They don't do anything. They spoon the dog and right, you know, look at joint and write
the music. When she's got the two jobs and he's like google, girl get the promotion because he didn't want to work. That's an already feminine man, right, useless, useless. Those are the boys, right, A third of the population is that, by the way, So careful, they're everywhere. They're very seductive, they're very slick, they're very cute. They'll get your pants off you in no time, and you'll find yourself taking care of him. You'll move into your apartment
in about a month and a half. Because the landwards a douchebag. He's driving a car, you know when you your work because he can't fix his piece of ship. Right, he's borrowing money that you promised to give back. You never get it back. You know. He plays with you until you can. You get mad, and you know because six months down the road, you're like, what the hell happened in my life? This douche bag happened in your life?
And then he leaves because he didn't care. All right, You're like, I can't believe it to all it did for him? Right? That doesn't so best sports? Right, So masculine will check this. Okay, I'm that's gonna want to a check this. So the sweet spot is, you know, just like the dance. It's just like a freaking dance. It's the same. This is a sweet spot here? What is it is? You know? Me as a leader with my wife, I'm a leader, right. She's not passive here,
she's very active. I'm not asking women to be passive, but if you get it into dance, there's a there's a there's there's two parts. That's infeminine. So but this that happened with a lot of practice, a lot of fine tuning, a lot of dealmaking. I don't like this, but I want this this. I don't want to do it back and forth right that you want the knees have to be negotiated. It's not as really as a dance couple, and a real relationship has a lot more
flexibility into things that negotiates. But if we go back to this model, she can't resist my lead if we're gonna do go gliding on the floor, right, only if she's not. But as a leader, I actually have to have sensitivities and sense. It has to be sensible to her because I could get this is reality. I could over lead her. I could crank her shoulder, I could
hurt her. So if I'm just a man like this is what we're talking about, right, we also always go to extreme man a dangerous a right, No man have a sensitive side that often has to be nurtured by women or brought forth. She tells me this is too hard. You're leading me too hard. Right, he's up a little bit. Oh oh, of course. And as you know, even though then and I'm leading, I just to her comfort, because if I don't know just she won't want to dance
with me, no relationship. No I mean, so I she brings me in a senseord of awareness of her sensitivity is a sense you know what I mean, for me to not hurt her on the other side, in order for her to follow me appropriately in my appropriate leadership, she has to be vulnerable to me. She has to trust that I'm not going to spin her spinning into a wall or a table or another couple. Right, So there's a letting go of control. It's not that she's
againting passive. Everything she's doing is is what I'm doing backwards in high heels and long dress. Right. It's not easier, it's compliment. So I'm leading and she's supporting my leadership. But she has to be vulnerable and open to me and trust me. That's something you built together, you know what I mean. But get this in a sense, in this, I'm doing all the work. She's you know, she's following me a little, she's supporting my leadership. I'm doing all
the work. I'm thinking to every step ahead of time. Right, It's not, it's it's literally constantly constantly paying attention to every step, every second, every step, every move, what next? What next? What next? Right? And again, without protecting her to make sure that I don't collide with anybody else. She gets to they go, be vulnerable, be open. What
happens when a woman is letting goes? She radiates. When you see the ball a couple of dancing, no one looks at the mail, no one all you look at they're going shure, you know what I mean? And she's right, that's all that glorious energy comes out. But she gets to be there because she let's go. She's happy to trust, right, So she's in masking in appropriately to be able to be in the dance. Right. But she she lets go
of control, so she shines and radiates. As I'm adjusting my sensitivity, he's like, do you see what I mean? It's beautiful? So why is this? But like, I feel like you are such probably like your conversations are such a hot spot for like topics today. Do you feel that absolutely? Are you kidding this? Funny? I didn't. I did a podcast about a month ago, a month and a half ago. The lady had seventy thousand followers, and like half of them were talking crap, you know what
I mean? On the app, right, there's this guy. Are just trying to take us back to the fifties. No, did you hear me say anything like that? No? Completely, you know what I mean? This guy is myself genesty can me? I love women. I love women. I love women. That's why I'm trying to help, right, which is what you don't understand. And man, right, I'm helping couples get it together. Right, So like, I guess, like we're get this, get this. So half of them took me wrong, and
the other half called me. They all call me, how do I do this? I feel that I understands nature. Again, we talk nature, we kind of resonates. So I'm just saying sorry. I I just want to know though, Like because I do believe that women should be able to hold their own in the workfield if they want to.
And and like because I have a daughter, I don't want to raise her to go to school to find her passion, to pursue this thing inside of her that she loves, just so she can go get married and have kids and stop pursuing herself and not make a career for herself and not be able to provide for
herself and have to rely on a man. Like I just feel like that that to me, Like I understand the dance and like the roles, but I'm like also to be able to be self sufficient and take care of yourself man or woman is something that is very I feel like a wonderful thing to have. So then when you do combine with someone else and joint energies, you have these two strong, independent people. So how do
you navigate that? Like? What is I guess I'll keep trying to figure out this answer, because what if you're calling what if you're calling is to be like a force of nature in the work field, But you still want to hold onto your feminine energy. Are you saying you can't do that? It's very very very very very difficult. Again, you you're stepping in the Formula one race and you're thinking, would be lovely about it? If you want to be lovely about it, just you know you're not going to
get in the race. You know you're not going to compete, so you have to step it up. But then again, the danger is what I said, earlier, the engine blows up. So I mean, I go, this is what happens, right, and and I I'm just sending the alarmy. I'm telling you what doesn't work. I'm telling you what doesn't. Tell me what doesn't work. Let's go to the list what
doesn't work. You know, if you're a man and act like a girl and decide to give you power away and not you know, handle your ship it and you know, let the world take care of you, be a victim. You're a big old loser because then you're saying, but that's the boy, and your life's gonna be miserable, and you're gonna manipulate and con and cheat, and you know, literally funk with everybody around you because you you're useless. And so that's how they use their power. Right, They
bunked with everybody around them, especially women and children. So what does a man need to be? Again, if you follow your body, a good man, A good man will actually, if he's raised properly, use his strength and his power appropriately. Right. They typically go for their lives. They'll find something a mission of passion, something that there they they want that's big, that requires discipline, pushing, fighting, you know, which builds their character.
And as they build the character going towards the big, the big goal that's difficult, it builds the confidence. It builds the confidence. Right, there are the guys that women go who look at him, you know what I mean? Because it's gotta ship together, right, So a guy who has the ship. Men have to prove themselves in the world to be respected both by men and women. What do women have to do? Get this answer the question?
Men have to like push and conquer and compete and prove themselves to be respected by both men and women. At the core in nature as a male, what does the female have to do in nature to be provided and protected? For now, I think absolutely fucking nothing. You get to breathe, just the fact that you're alive. Nature and man will have protective, provided, protected feed. You have nothing to prove in nature to be valuable, valuable, cherished,
love and protected. If your car brings down outside of the road, right, it's not a woman is going to pull over. There's gonna be some guy, are you okay? And right behind that guy another guy because guy is no douchebags exists, and so it's the second guy to make sure that guy is in a douche bag trying to mess with you. Man, do this, you're saying, right, So that's sort of the maskeline has to prove themselves to be valuable. Women don't have to prove anything to
be valuable. If you go back to the basis, man will protect you just because you create life, You make babies, you make life. We don't do this in your entire life. You're gonna have between three and four eggs coming down, three and four and that's it. We get between four hundred to one point two billion sperm cell release per ejaculate. Think about that one second. Yes we are disposable, Yes we value more. Yes you're special. Women and children first,
that's all that comes from at the base. We know this. So you want to act like a man, you know, all that formula kind of goes away, and eventually by the forty women like, how come I'm lonely? I want companionship, I want a man, I want to feel safe. I want to slow down. But you kind of painting yourself in the corner where you don't want to be feminine anymore. Men are instructed to that. The men who wanted to be married already married. The ones that are leftovers are
either divorce or losers. You get yourself painted in the corner, all my clients. Is a terrible, terrible idea. Right now. This again, it doesn't mean that you get to be useless, you know, sit in the corner and make babies. That's not what I'm saying. There's a sweet spot, and you
gotta find it for yourself, you know. Like a lot of young women go to school and universities and kind of get the masters and all this ship beautiful until for most of them, again it's not everyone, of course, there's nothing, no such thing, but maybe for seventy percent of them, right they find themselves thinking, I don't really want this. It was a great idea when I was twenty four one two, and you know, I want companionship, I want a man, I want to like, I want
to slow down, I want to travel. Maybe I want a kid, huh. And I totally understand that. But on the cause of nature, what about women who feel called to really shift the dynamic of the world, Like you've got to step into that role, you know again and when? And I like, women need to be there else If it's not it's just gonna be the same old, same one that we've had. You know, you could fight with men to try to change the world. You can inspire a man to change the world with you. That's the
po of woman. That's and I feel like I'm with you. I'm all about like collaborating and coming together and inspiring and getting involved in a dance and everyone working together because the whole like pitting each other against each other. That's not working. Yeah, it's not working. It's not working anywhere. I mean, it can bring up things that need to change, but ultimately we need to figure out how to collaborate.
That's what I'm saying. Women can inspire a man to change the world, and you've always have this is the way you do it, like you inspire men to change. But that allowed that that requires you to be feminine. So you're saying a woman needs to just fully embrace her feminism. But I guess the difference is now we just a woman needs to be respected and allowed the space to have that, you know, because I feel like maybe before we didn't have the space to fully embrace
our feminine Did you feel that, No? I think I think there was there was a machine in place that was automatic people who lived much more man where men women women, you know what I mean? Like at the basic man would go and fight in concuerding with do you know do bring the money in? And she raised the children and she was a housewife. And then women are saying, but I have more, I need more. Yeah, and men might be saying men might be saying the
same thing as absolute. Man, what's happened is it was not enough choice and if it felt um restricted, um, and it felt like you just had one option, you have to just play this role where it's like, I don't think men or women want to be forced to play a role. I do agree we have nature. We are born into certain roles based on like our gender, and like you know, a woman creates life and all that. But it's like, you know, I think we all want to have the option to be more than just a role.
That's what we're doing. It's just we're the ones who video struggling and struggling an unhappy go too far, there's a sweet it's a sweet spot. If you're gonna go like a badass and act like a dude, you're not gonna have a full life. You're going to be a working beast and eventually life, your body is going to go enough of this ship. So you think the ultimate goal of everyone is they want to be in a relationship. That's we're built to pair bond, We're built to do this,
we'll built to do this. Now obviously not is no such thing, right, but mostly this is what people makes people happier. Why do you say you say early sex kills the building of a healthy long term relationship? Is that because you're getting into the boy is just like taking what they want or what is it? Pretty much? Pretty much? So? But even then you know, if if you how do you play it? Like how do you if say? And why does it always come this? Dude?
This is where I get frustrated. I'm like, well, I get frustrated because I'm like, guys just got guys, just go out there and sleep around. But then women have to be strategic and you have to think about it, and you can't like just like enjoy a feeling at a moment and get lost in it because now all of a sudden, like what if you had this great connection but you slept with them too soon? And I
mean this, I'm not speaking from my own experience. I'm just thinking about like the difference between men and women. It's like, well that it's just like it's and you talk about this, it's not equality, kills intimacy so obvious, it's not equal. But like, why do women have to be the ones who have to think about it? To keep the guy? It's never like trying to keep the girl. You know that's not true. Right, So again you have to know what are you dealing with? Man? Guys and boys.
They look the same, they look the same, three different beasts, completely completely different machines, right for their upbringing, for their character. The ones have characters, yeah, but the others don't, right, the bottom one doesn't. And this is the These are the ones to create all the pain, all the angst, all the cheating, all the mistrust, all the abuse, all the attacks. Boy, it's not man. So this worth it's worth making, working the system of nature to find a
good one who does what the good ones do. Provide, protect, give, cherish, protect sheriff right, put the arms on your life, give you give, give, give give you know, like as a male myself married with my wife with two kids, you know, I used I'm a I'm a work beast, typical male work beast. And I pride myself with all the work that I put in to give us, to keep us in the lifestyle that we're living in. I mean Los Angeles of a house with the pool. I live in
freaking paradise in the hills like paradise. It's unbelievable, right, but it's constantly to live here. So what I have to do. I have to whip my own ass to too, because when she was pregnant, she can't you know, my my wives of ballerminas. So that's what come to the world of dancing. But you know, somebody had to take care of the kids, do you know what I mean? Now, she didn't get giveaway her career. She didn't give it up. She put it on positive little bit and when the
kids with teeny tiny and went back to it. That's women. Women who have it all do They don't stop, you know, they don't give everything away. They slowed down for a little phase till the kids are five years old, they go to school, you're free again, and then you resume slower because he's killing himself, you know, to to make sure everything happening. That's that's a good dance. Right, that's
not protecting yourself, that's trusting. Together, we build something and we negotiate all the bits, all right, So listen my greatest moments and men, real man boys resented. Boys don't want to take care of women. Boys don't want to take care of your children. Boys don't want to take care of any children, especially right. They're terrified of that because they don't want to work hard. They want to they want to feel good, they want to chill, right,
but real man will kill themselves and to feel so much. Right, I'm telling you some of my someh some of my brightest moments in my life is pulling up my garage. Right, my car is really a louds it's kind of crazy by pulling the garage and when I turned the car off, oh, I can hear the care of my wife and the kids in the pool. You know. To be like, I work from seven to seven. You know, I'm killing myself. I'm fighting the free way in both ways. I work
twelve hour days. Oh worth it because I get to keep them in lifestyle that I think is appropriate for them. You know, she picked him up at school at three o'clock because she has a career, but part time at that point because it gives a little picks him up three o'clock, takes them home, makes them you know, they do snacks and they do homework and then they jump in the pool. I get, I did that. She did
that as well. Right, she does her part, and she does bring some income that she makes her feel part of the machine and valuable. Then you know she's she's producing. She's not useless, but she takes it her kids. That's a that's a that's a gift. Right, but I together will make that happen. So my wife, I think, is the best life. She did both. She gets the liver career, liver life as a ballerina, and she teaches at two colleges, so she's nurturing and mentoring all these young women and
man like, she lives her life's purpose, you know. And she's also a mother to my children. And she she was able because of my part. She was able to actually be both. And actually this is a woman has it all career and children and the relatorship and a
good freaking life. So what is the secret. What is the secret is to get into that dance, is to get into that dance and sort of finding your sweet spot for you, you know, and and when you kind of step in together, and how we're going to do this, you know what I mean, and really negotiate that stuff. A real man will will do, will hold himselfs accountable and be very proud of working very hard to keep
his wife and kids in a comfortable lifestyle. Nature again, right, the tigers, the bears, like, that's how we do it. We don't resent it, we don't go. Is no bearer? How come I Men don't say it's not Men don't say I come, always have to call you? How come you don't call me? How come you know? How come we don't drive and meet me have way? That's not fair. Men don't ever say that. Boys do? They want equality? Right? Like, well, it doesn't mine. But you guys think also that's fair.
Maybe maybe should drive halfway, you know? And how and I have to meet him because you know, no bullshit. Real man pride themselves in doing that at the client at client in Los Angeles? Where are you? By the way, I don't know who you are in Los Angeles? By this La County Orange County. So Orange County is sendy, you know, Disneyland and sort of. It's an hour and a half away, all the way down to Sanuel County.
So she meet this guy uh in in some events in Los Angeles, but it lives in Orange County, right, and they had that little So he's coming up on the weekend, right for Morris County, drives up on Saturday on Saturdays to take her out, spends the evening, you know, creating a data whatever, drops her off, and drives back to San Diego. That's three and a half hours almost
on the road every weekend, right. So she's like, at one point said, I feel so bad, so I think I'm gonna meet him halfway, and like, don't you freaking there meet him halfway? Do not? Don't you dare. Don't take that away from him. He's proud of doing that. He's shown off and he's showing you how much she's willing to do because he likes you that much. Do not bring it that I'll meet you halfway because I feel bad that you do want the work. Don't you
dare take that away from him. He's a man. He's going to pride himself in that, and he's every time he does it like, yeah, I'm that guy. Yep, I'm gonna show this woman how much I care for her, You know what I mean? So boys will say, you don't meet me? How can I always have prepare? How can we man? Don't do this right? So we go back to Arctur and these guys, you know, the whole idea of like, you know, being afraid of man. A man like that with that kind of character will make
you feel so freaking safe and so cherished. You're gonna and when you do relax, when you're not in your head, when you stop fighting, competing, and you know, being super productive, whichever way that is for you, You're nervous, relaxed, and all of a sudden you're radiant, and you're lovely? Are you warm? And you smile? And again people say, good morning, get to see you? What I get to see you?
And the kids smile at you, and the dogs are sniffing, And I'm just saying, so, how how do we encourage the opposite sex to rise up to our best version? How do you more the more you inspire him to step up with your feminine energy, the more he'll step up with his mask and energy. It's all energy, ying Yang, It's all energy, that's say, you just have to cultivate. Like I said, if you're being if you under your femininees underdeveloped, because you've done this too long, too hard
for whatever reason. Right typically again is the ones who are really upside down there. Damage from childhood is trauma, which is part of the work that I do. So it's not about undoing any of this I'm not doing. I'm not saying just destroyed and stop who you are and what you do when you build. That's not what I'm saying. Just by the way, so before you call me names, that's not what I'm saying, is that this
is over calibrated. It doesn't make you happy, it makes you right, it's too much for long term it it's not sustainable for most you know what I mean. So what we do is we cultivate this. And also what happens like this typically happens a little bit, right, So then you get to be masking and productive and be a badass in the world. But when you leave work, you leave your balls at work, and then you show up like this in the world and all of sudden, man see you, man, smile at you, man, say hey,
how are you right? Like so us again that's let's be able to do both. That's a badass in my world, a badass and one who knows how to be badass. And it wants us to be feminine, you know, to to take care of her personal life and connect to community, connect to men, connect to environment. Connect right, because you see women who are badass c e O s and whatever, it's like a rock when they're public. Nothing about them is lovely and warm. They're fried or in their heads.
Right to be masculous, to be in your head, to be feminine, to be in your heart and your body. What is the number one reason that people relationships fail? Well, I'm not understanding the dance, not not really committed to the dance, not you know, like again, instead of doing this, this takes five years, by the way, to make a couple bad couple look like this five years. There's a
lot of practicing, you know what I mean. But when people do in our culture, because everyone's afraid, right is instead of doing this and committing and learning, they call it they get on the dance floor, but like I call it club dancing. Right, they're on dance floor, but they don't touch on the dance. We're doding together. Yeah, that's my boyfriend, that's my girl. We're moving together. There's no commitment, there's no marriage, there's nothing, there's nothing to
hold you together beyond the moment. Right. Nobody shares banks, bank accounts, right, I mean you you stay separate, you're together. It is my boyfriend, my girlfriend. But nobody's committed, and you're hanging there till till somebody cheats or you get bored or the guests stops being easy. We have this stupid belief that relationships healthy with the ships should be easy.
This isn't easy. It's not hard, but that has to be has You have to learn in the communicator, like you know, they communicate in ways they don't, you know, with their fingers not we're not. There's a lot of exchange here, there's a lot of practice. So people people will move together in a year later like you know, it's not fun anymore and she's a drag now or he's like you know, yea, and people will leave. Nobody's committing.
So again, if we get to get back to what works right in business, talk to any business person, man or woman. The people who made have big success in business took a risk at one point, the bigger the risk, the biggest success of the biggest a failure, and they take some risk and they go, you know, I hope this works. If it doesn't, we're screwed, we're finished. Right because the people to succeed big they take a chance, all right, they take a calculated chance. Why is the
eyes wide open and still well this? Yes, I understand relationships. They can't hurt you. What else you have to do all day? Right, come to me, Come to anybody like me. Just learn how that all works. Stop fighting at each other and start to stop to making it wrong, and for him, start making it wrong. Stop wanting the men to be like women women to be like men. That's not working. That kind of equality does not work. It
destroys everything. Right going on learned I called a gender intelligence. Right, if you're a man and you want to be a worship with a woman, you want to build something with a woman, right, cross the bridge into woman world and
go find out how women function and why. Right, there's a whole instinctive cave woman stuff in place that is still very much writing the show that we take beyond no no, you know, just all these programs are in there, so women say stuff like, I need so very little, why can't you give me with Well, men don't understand little. Men quantify everything. If it's not big, it's worthless. Do you mean it's so very little? So men don't know
what you're saying. So I teach men to go go dumb ask Go find out what makes a woman tick and why what she needs is to feel connected and feel safe? Is that simple? And don't know this? Go learn your idiot? So I mean, but like the same thing. So that's what men who were intelligent go do. They go and find out how this soul works? Right, because they want to build something like I did. Right, I'm a pretty good role model. All my friends that and be like me, not because I seem to have everything
I do. I have everything. I have everything. I'm the luckiest guy I know. And they go, how do you do this? Like this? Right? Step in shouting anyway and say with the ladies, right, you want to be a bishop with a man, Well, you can't make them wrong for breathing. You can't make him wrong for the way they do things. You don't understand it. I get it because our motivation is a completely different What motivation? What drives us is completely different. We're heady more than hardy,
and to you so always a disconnects. Always it comfortable, but your femininity brings us back. Well there's a oh okay, that's some sure, right, go freaking learn right that what happened is when you both sort of have a sense of the other side, and so you can actually meet on the bridge and try doing this, because when you understand her a little bit more and understand what she needs at the base, and so does he. All of a sudden you're like, I think you could do this.
I think instead of fighting and go, I think this is keive it a try. Does that not work for you? Really? You know when you do this is what happens to me. I don't like it, but this is okay, And you know you start negotiating the dance. You can on that bridge. You can learn to dance and it takes a little practice. What else do we have to do all day? If that makes a better life for all the statistics, what's
the problem here? Well, yeah, you have to put it on the effort, that's it, right, Get committed to take a risk. Anybody who gets anything valuable in life takes a risk. Well, this has been so lightning. I feel like you have so much to share and if anyone is looking for a relationship coach to kind of like dive into the natural roles of men and women and working together and learning how to like it seems like
step into our full potential. Um, you have a lot of information and it's been so awesome to get to get inside of your brains. So it's actually I do it everything freaking week right. My my clients come from go from one to the other other side and basically live the dream life. By the way, also, I'm an ordained minister, so some of my clients, I'm marry myself. I mean that's some stuff, right, Like this is to me. That's the success, right, that's the honor of that. You know.
They have one couple that just got married in Delaware two weeks ago. Um, two ladies got engaged in the same month. But the second couple, I'm flying to Texas next jun to marry them. I have another couple in Vegas, um in March. I mean that's to be like from not knowing to knowing, right, it is doable. There is hope Again, if you go back to basis basics with adjustments. He wants their needs personally, both of you negotiate all that stuff. You can have everything, and so andre parody.
You can make the love. You can help people start out their love life. You can do it. If anyone can do it, you're saying you're the one. You can do it. Nobody's too tough for you. You can anybody. You can handle anybody. You have to be. You have to want it. That's all I need, right, I have to want it. If if you know, if you know, if you're not coachable, you're not coachable, and then nobody's gonna be able to help you. But by the time people get to me, men and women right desperate, they well,
they they're watching they're stuck. They're actually really getting the fact that they're realizing is they're stuck. And now they're afraid to be stuck permanently. They want they need help, They want out, they don't know how. And again to me, it's it's always it's not knowing that's dangerous. Not you know, just we don't know that. You don't know that is messing you up at all. So when you learn this stuff, you practice the stuff, you go wow, Wow, clicklickly and
it connects me quickly. It takes you know, it takes a little bit of stedious in the beginning, but within like two and a half months, three months, you got it. Boom, they're there. It's delutely different. Andre group coaching dot Com. Yes, if you guys are interested, go check this out. Go check out Andre, and hey, maybe transform your love life. I love this. That's amazing. I appreciate you so much for joining me today and this was so insightful. I
love I love your questions. I love you drilling into me. I love the how the hell that flip it over? Man? Like you like you're you're not you know, listening to me? Like what's the word you? You challenge me? Right? And I guess I could back all of it up. We could do this all day long. You could throw any questions at me. I will bring it back to how this all actually organically works. The biggest problem for the women is that they know men. Men are very, very
reacting to women. Men respond to you like you would not believe that. You don't believe it because you don't see are responding. We look kind of shallow and disconnected often right, not present while masking in is in their head. So yeah, we're often disconnected. But it's when you bring us down here then you get the best of us. But you like us the most, but we need you to get us here. M hm. So and men can't
explain that. That's really the problem. Like you what you the effect you have on us and everything you want from us is right there, but men can't explain ship. They can't explain it. It's just fun. So when I explained to you how that works, right, and you use this instinct to show up, pull up, provide, protect, give
you get everything you want and just just understanding. We just have to learn men are from what that Men are from Venus, women are from Mars, or men from Mars from Venus is pretty accurate because again this is that's a perfect sort of ah, that's a perfect way of put it, because we're not equal, that's what he's saying. We're both from the different planets, you know. And literally it's like you have to learn how they work on that planet, you know, in order to understand how to
get it together. I mean, he has it right very much. So that way, we're not a little bit different, were extremely different. Yeah, it's like dealing with a porky pine and banana. It's just like two separate things. You got to learn how to handle both of them. But give this is the way I said. Anybody, this is a little bit crass, go along, but I go. We're as equalis or genitals, not at all completing opposition made to fit. Yeah, you understand this is we're made to fit. We're in
opposition in every way in our character, will mote. Everything about us is an opposition made to fit to complement each other. So you're trying to teach people how to get into the dance, so we can't all feel like we are absolutely maximizing our full potential of who we are, what we came here to be, and then actually have a great, sustainable, loving relationship. Okay, Andrea parody. I have loved this conversation. Thank you so much for joining me.
Everyone check them out if you're interested in Andrea group coaching dot com and go explore this. This is awesome. Thank you so much for joining me. They're very welcome. Thank you for helping me spread that out. Appreciate it.