Abby Smyers

all about how they navigate this crazy lifestyle. It is so fun being in this music industry, but it is so layered, and these women are incredible and we're getting really you guys. We're talking marriage, We're talking babies, we're talking miscarriage, we're talking callings, We're talking everything. It's not just all the goods and the glam. It is the full story. First up, I have Abbey Smire. She's married to Dan Smires of Dan and Shay. She has a

real life angel. She's saving all the dogs in the world. She grew up in country music. Her dad was in radio. She worked at Warner Brothers Records, where she ended up meeting Dan. They fell in love. Their stories incredible and she's just one of the most genuine souls. I personally know, and she's such a dear friend, so I am so excited to kick off this series with her. And I'm also so excited because this is a series on women

that I'm partnering with AVA Women. If you haven't heard of them yet, you've got to, especially if you're a woman trying to conceive, or you have a friend who's trying to conceive, or if you just want to get in touch with your body, because as we all know, conceiving is not always easy. You have to pee on sticks, take your temperature, you're playing the guessing game with all the apps. It's not ideal at all, and it's hard

to predict your most fertile days. So AVA bracelet is changing the process for women and making easier than ever to know your fertile window. You wear the bracelet when you sleep, you connect to the AVA app in the morning. You get insights on changes in physiological parameters that detect where you are in your cycle, including your most fertile days. In real time. AVA doubles your chances of conceiving each month.

I've been wearing this bracelet and I love it. So if you're planning on growing your family, I could not recommend this more, head to ava women dot com. That's a V A W O M E n dot com and enter the code real Talk for twenty dollars off your order. I'm also so excited to tell you guys about the vitamins I've been taking. They're called care Of. It's a monthly subscription vitamin service that delivers completely personalized vitamins and supplement tacks to your door. It's super easy.

All you gotta do is go on their website, take a five minute quiz. They ask you about your diet, health goals, lifestyle choices. Then your vitamins get delivered right to your door and personalized, easy to remember daily packs. It's perfect for someone who's busy and on the go like myself, and care Of is giving back because a portion of every sale goes towards the Good Foundation, which provides expectant mothers in need with valuable prenatal vitamins. This

is legit, you guys. Care Of offers vegan and vegetarians supplement options. There's posts and prenatal vitamin supplements. Care Of makes taking vitamins fun and easy and personalized for you. So I'm telling you you've got to check it out, and I've got a discount code for you for off of your first month a personalized care of vitamins. Visit take care of dot Com and enter the promo code

kro c A r oh. So visit take care of dot Com t A k e c A r e o f dot Com and enter the promo code kro c A r O for off your first months personalized care of vitamins. Check it out. All right, here's Abby Smiers. We're here in the doghouse, my friend, my friend, this is the one doghouse you actually want to be in.

It is a good doghouse. Is full of dogs at different and different number of dogs, just depending on the day that we have three right now, they knew we're talking about probably going to hear them trying to talk to over the squirrels. There are squirrels that run along the top of the fence and that is what they talk to. So this is their day. Are they hunting those squirrels? Are they were protecting? If they want to be friends at the squirrels or if they like hate

the squirrels, I don't know. I don't have any answer, but it's like urgent and there's a lot of squirrels. It's like an all day thing, all day long. I think about that sometimes, like I think about dog World and I think about my dogs and what Sugar gets fired up about. And I'm like, and she was like thinking her all about that. It's stress, like real stress. And see you can see it. There's another one okay, and you can also see my dirty windows. Hey, I

never washed my windows. I don't even know where. How do you do you have to call someone? I think you call someone? Being a homeowner, I'm like, how is there Emmanuel finding a home whatever? My dad is staying with us. He always comes up with something to do and I'm like, how do you know to do these things? And he was like, well, you just do them. I was like, but I don't know. One ever told me I know. I'm like, what do you how do I know? I'm like, should I have? Like he was like, did

you get your unit tuned? I was like, what does that even? Your unit? What's a unit? What am I tuning? I mean, yeah, Dan tunes? What does it mean? Shouldn't say that word things all the time? Um, I guess it's like your h v A C unit, which is your heater. I was supposed to get it tuned twice a year. It's never been tuned. You're supposed to get it tuned twice a year. That's what he told me. How do you find it? H V? How do you find a heat or tuner? I don't know. I'm telling

you adulting it is. It's so hard. It's a blessing and I'm great wold to be here, but I'm like, help help Sarah hotline. I know I was having I'm trying to remember who I had this conversation with the other day. Oh, it was a total stranger, a complete stranger. I was having the conversation. She was visiting from Kansas City Nashville, and so since I'm from Kansas City, we were discussing that and then her pipes burst at the house because it was snowing, and and she was like,

I don't know what to do. And I said, call your dad, and she was like, I'm going because I was, I don't have an answer. I don't call your dad. Truly, it is just like one thing aftergether. We had to get a new roof right when moved in in a new heater. Had no idea. Sorry, you're fine. I had no idea that was going to happen, just like, okay, wham bam, just kick it right off. Those are expensive things, expensive things. So how did you get into dogs? Like

when did you first find your big love? And my big love of dogs and loved dogs dogs have been I always say that I am convinced that I was a dog at some point. Definitely what I don't know. I don't know what kind, but mixed. Definitely a mixed kind of girl. Definitely a hybrid, but I don't know, like exactly which breed. Definitely not any of the breeds I have. I don't like that. I don't know. I

don't connect with their personality. I connect with them as beings, but I don't understand their personal Okay, So Chiefs is like we didn't know when we named him Chief that we were naming him exactly what he should be. Yes, we were naming him Chief because his rescue name was Natchez and I wanted to stick with the theme. And I'm from Kansas City to the Kansas City. Chiefs was like Chief perfect. Then his personality came out and he is the boss as anyone who knows well he thinks

he's a little sergeant. Yes, Joy is actually the boss. But Chief has like this big personality and he's just like really worked up all the time. He's really work works up all the time. Our squirrels like one of the major ones that work him out, So squirrels don't bother him. He's just like in his own head. He's just regularly he's an existential crisis kind of guy, like

as something is happening in his head. So this is a white house and he's like on protection lot and he's just like he is just on edge, and but it's definitely all in his brain, like he the other two will react to like the squirrel outside or like people walking by the house. He is just like in his own head, he's just very angsty as I call him okay and then Ghost, I wish that I was Ghost.

Ghost is happy all the time. Why did he was chained outside for four and a half years through all the season for all the seasons, chained to other dogs that were bigger than him, and they would like throw food at them. So he was really skinny when we got him because he was fighting everyone else for food. But despite all of this, he is the happiest dog. His tail is always wagging. He's obsessed with toys, Like when I give him a new toy, he just can't

believe it. He's overjoyed by it. So I wish that I was Ghost. I wish that I was that happy all the time and so overjoyed by just yes, and even like when like Chief is being mean to him, then he is still so happy. It's like the best enjoy. I think if I was one of my dogs, I would be joy. I am. My personality is one that I can like definitely turn on. I get that, and so, but my heart is very as I wear my homebody shirt with my heart, and my heart is very introverted.

But I can turn on my extroverted self. And Joy doesn't necessarily turn hers on. But she is, I think me like she is constantly feeling this struggle of like I love people, I want to be around people, but I'm terrified of people. So I think Joy and I are like the closest. I totally get that, Like I feel like I could be such people person and talk to anyone. I enjoy people. But does it like deplet time, deplete your energy? What is it is? I don't know.

I don't know what it is, but it can be really depleted, I guess because you want to bring your best self and you want to like be as great as you can, and it's honestly like you have to drop all like all the other real stuff going on. You can talk about it, but you just have to be a thousand per thousand percent and it's hard to stay on that level or something. I've been trying, I think, like everyone because it's it's really trendy right now. I've

been trying to understand my angiogram. Talk about it. Whatever are you to help? Um? And it makes total sense. I get it, but we I've been really trying to understand it. And I was posed a question of like what I loved about my number and what I hated about it? To me about that, and it actually made me really emotional when I started to think about it. But it goes back to what we were just talking about. Is I love that I my number because I think

it makes me very empathetic and compassionate. UM, And I love that part of it, but also it makes me

have a crippling fear of not being liked. I get that, like so crippling and when I was like processing that because because you want to help people, Yeah, and your biggest fear would be that all your intentions and your love is like for not if people don't want like and I'm trying, when you're just focused on it like that's the other part of the two is kind of giving yourself way more than you are probably getting in return,

which I can handle. But then I think that ties into me being fearful of being disliked, and that's and so I think that is the thing that maybe makes putting yourself out there really depleted, because if I'm really afraid of not getting that in return or someone not liking who I am, then I might just want to retreat and be like here I am in my house. But that was so off topic from your original question.

How do I get into joy? Though? I feel like my spirit animals are my dogs too, like they reflect your personality. How do you? Okay? So I'm a four on the Ange of Theram and it's the romantic and it's I feel like it's the worst one I could see that because I mean, it's such a beautiful one. But it's such a beautiful one. It's all about this intense passion, and so when the passion is all positive and going great, I'm electric. Electric. The world is magical, sunshine, butterflies.

Literally you can't even remember a bad thing, And I love that when I am in the opposite, like the more of this, when you're in your unhealthy part of your never, like when I'm like dealing with something or like super emotional, it's like the world is over. I don't know how I'm gonna get out of here. How do I get better? It's raining all the time. So interesting though, when you like when someone puts it into words for you, and then you feel like you kind

of understand yourself a little bit more. But just try to live in the healthy part of your number, trying to do so when you're in your unhealthy part of the two. So, say you're at the massive party and like all these people are there that you love, but it's like, oh gosh, okay, I gotta turn my my socializing on what is your fear? And then how do

you overcome her fear? So my fear in that, I guess always just stems back to not being liked for who I am, and so I think sometimes I and I don't know if this is part of my number or not. I haven't I don't know. I haven't gotten to that part. But I think that sometimes I fall into a habit of being whatever the people around me want me to be. That I can do that too. Yeah, And so I'm just like, because I want to be liked, I'm trying to be whatever that group of people or

that person needs me to be. But that's something that I always say to Dan and something I'm so grateful of him because he does not care. We're getting Okay, guys, we're getting a FedEx package and it is about to be madness in my house. Okay, dogs gone are going to go, so just be prepared for that. Okay, Okay, here we go. Send many of dogs. They might guys. You tell him he's boss. Al alright, guys, I think they're on. Are they going back to the truck? Are

go ahead? Good job, dogs, you scared them away. You did great o that that timble. You did your job. You go back in your chief. I'm very proud of you. You're a great regulator. Joy and Ghost went a step up there. Did I need to sign for that or did they get back in there? Back in Okay, So maybe I didn't need to sign for it. Okay, nobody's like they would have. I feel like they would have stuck around. Okay, but that's all right. We'll come back tomorrow.

I'll check. Okay, let's check. Okay, I'll just do a little quick check. Yeah, yeah, you never know. I mean, I'm always excited when I get a package. Okay, great, Okay, it's here. Oh. This is why I like this podcast, because we're doing real life and I feel like it's fun to get a look into people's worlds, like Abby with the dog world. Okay, she's signing. She loves it.

They're all best friends. Oh that was a party. Okay, party with the ups and fed Actually, yes, great, so they needed you to sign They just knew the name. It was uncomfortable and we just had a little love session about tequila. No way, this is that weird, and people like, yeah, we've been having a discussion of maybe we should not be addressing things in our name anymore, and that might have been the answer. But it's okay.

They were very nice. I love the song. They were just listening to it, speaking of Okay, we're gonna come back to the Instagram because I want to know about this. Okay, party, because I want to know speaking of your husband, Dan, Dana J had the biggest freaking song ever this year, Tequila, I want to talk about it. We'll talk about it, Okay, Back to the party. Back to the part. So Dan,

that's what we were discussing. That is something that I always tell him that I am so grateful for from him because he kind of this was something like I think a struggle that I dealt with for so long ways being what everyone else wanted to me to be, and Dan does is so good about just being himself. And of course he cares um very much, especially when it comes to his art and his craft, and he

like definitely cares in that respect what people think. But in terms of like I don't know someone like if someone says something negative on social media, I'm like affected by it for the rest of my life. He never thinks about it ever one time. His number UM, He's never taken it, but I would guess he's a three very I'm very confident that he's a three. Three is the achiever UM, and they're kind of validation is by

being um commended for what they have accomplished. Like their their work or their art or their craft or whatever it is. So I'm very confident that he is very strongly a three. But I'm gonna make him take it definitely. Okay, So how do you handle your fear your helper? Your helper negative popping up? It's flaring, You're unhealthy helpers flaring.

I think that honestly, in the last few years, the confidence that he has instilled in me to be myself has really helped me in that, and that I'm partnered it is. It's really great because he has made me feel really comfortable with just being myself. So I think that I've been able to eliminate a little bit of the trying to appease everyone else and be what everyone else wants me to be. I definitely still struggle with it all the time. It goes you and I talked

about this all the time. It goes back to not being able to say know, um, which is something else that I will always work on and probably always struggle with. But I keep trying. But I think that is honestly where I would go in terms of trying to feel the healthy. Part of it is just being comfortable and competent and know that I am enough just as I am, and then I would after very much need similarnd with my dogs. How awesome is it that Abby is so real.

She's so real about her insecurities. She's so real about how hard it is for her to say no, but she's working on it. The angiogram. I have love learning about the indiogram, just like I have loved learning about my body. I have been in a season with learning about my body. That is why I've been so excited about these care Of Vitamins, a monthly subscription that delivers personalized vitamins to my door in individual packs just for me.

It's based on my diet, health goals, lifestyle. You go to their website, you take a quick five minute quiz, it is so easy, and then vola, you get a pack made for you. Care Of puts honesty first, providing that all the research that supports each of their recommendations is backed by Scientific Advisory Board. Like I said, they have pre impost natal vitamins, which I'm super excited about.

They have vegan and vegetarian options, and if you use the promo code kro c A r OH and go to their website, take care of dot com, you will get off of your first month of personalized care of vitamins. Again, go to take care of dot com and enter the promo code c A R O and get off of your first personalized month of care of vitamins. And like I mentioned before, if you're a woman who's ready to conceive a child, or if you just want to get to know your body better, You've got to check out

the Ava Bracelet. I've been wearing mine every single night and it is changing the process of just understanding your fertile window and when the best time to conceive is. Nobody likes paying on sticks, having to take your temperature every day, playing the guessing game. That is such a headache and it's so hit or miss. But with the AVA bracelet, all you have to do is wear it every single night when you sleep, and then you connect to the app in the morning and you get all

the insights. They tell you how long you sleep, body temperature, and if you're fertile and when your fertile windows are, so it doubles the chance of you conceiving each month. Make sure you had to Ava women dot com. That's a V A W O M E N dot Com. And enter the code real talk r E A l T a l K for twenty off of your order. Again, go to Ava women dot com and enter the code real talk for twenty dollars off of your order. All right, let's get back to Abby and hearing more amazing insight,

because she's the best. What do you do when you're when you're recharging and calming down? Like what happens here in low time? What happens in your brain? My brain, My brain is a lot of anxiety and stress, but then um, my calmness is definitely here, like where we are. I have such a sense of peace in my home and that is my like recharge place. Target is my recharge place. I want to go to Target today. Actually does make you just feel so it does. I feel

like something's in the air. I don't know what. Maybe it is. You know how they like pump oxygen in the vegas and maybe they do something there. I think they might. And the lighting is perfect, and all the clothes are so cute, they're so cutey need everything in there. Haley Hubbard and I were talking about this the other day because we're the same. I am like shopping is my drug of choice and so target really helps me.

Or like new shoes, but like, if I'm feeling a little upset, if I like find something to buy, I feel a lot better, which is probably not a good coping mechanism, but I was gonna d my hair tattoo. I love it a little more pert Probably michaels like, I think I'm ready for my half sweve, now do it. He's all about it. I'm like, do you think about it? For I'm wrong about it? Fully supported, but like, okay, so you just recharge and just like sile into your

brain or it does. I think if I need to give some space, I need to cut off, like for a minute, and I will. Something that I just learned about myself is how negatively I am affected by social media. So I don't know if you've done the update on your phone, but you can limit the amount of time you're on it, and so I it like locks me out. I mean, I can type it in and get back on, which I am definitely guilty of, but it lets me.

It makes me at least think about it, and I have never felt better in the last few weeks of doing that. I only let myself have an hour of social media time a day, um, and since I, you know, do social media for the dry house with Ali, Like by the time I'm done doing my work and then maybe a little bit of personal time, I'm pretty much done for the day by like before a lemon, and you work it into your schedule, right, and then I

blocking this off and then that's it. So you can see my puzzle, like I've been doing a puzzle instead and like trying to think of things that are rather than just scrolling, because I think there's like a beauty to social media of like getting to be inspired by other people, but there's also a really deep place of comparison there and I think I have learned that that's not a really healthy thing for me. So the less time I'm spending on it, the better I feel. And

it's really great. It's been a really freeing thing, and that is great because it allows you just to stay in your own life, even if you just pop on social media for like five minutes here and there, all

of a sudden, you are flooded with people's lives. You are everyone's doing, and you can't help but have your thoughts somewhere else in your brain because you're and and it has made me feel more present, and it's made me feel much more connected to my own life and and just like, I don't know, it's even made me feel a little nostalgic in times of going back to growing up where none of that existed, and I'm and it's really really fun to go back to that where

I'm just like I'm sitting here, I'm doing a puzzle, We're watching a Hallmark Christmas movie and like that and not being wrapped up in anything else, and it makes

me feel good. So I'm at this point where I have been having to on the same vein teach myself to be okay with just being in myself, absolutely absolutely sitting down and not letting myself have a distraction for my brain really, like whether it's exercise, whether it's having lunch with friends, whether it's like being on social media, whether it's like scheming up something I need to do for work or something it's just like constant walking the dog,

stressing out about future stuff. It's like I have made myself in life has sort of presented this season to me anyway of just having to be in the shut off a little bit and shut off, and it's really good and learn how to just be with myself because

it's hard. It is hard. It is hard, and then but it's also so good and freeing and you can just makes me worthy enough to be alone because I feel like a lot of the time, I feel myself with time, I feel my time with things because I'm like, I need to be constantly busier, so I'm not worthy, right, But I am worthy even if I'm not constantly busy. So you're probably a four wing. Three are yes, it's

probably your wing, but yeah, no it is. And I think we all need to kind of get back into that space and feel like just because you know, we all grew our generation, we we know what it was

like to not have social media. Yeah, like my little brother is never going to know that, and but we do know it, and so we need My little brother's fifteen or fifteen years apart, so he's always had social media and he like it's always been around his life, and I just I want to always remember that time when we didn't and maybe try and recreate a little bit of it. And because it does make you feel a lot better. You don't realize it, it just it

makes you feel a lot better. To disconnect for a second, and just right, we've let social media run rampant because it's like it's it's it's like it's such a quick thing to do if everyone's doing it, so it's like you can't even get mad at people for doing anything. Like back in the day, people were never allowed to have their phones, but not everyone's just on social all the time. So it's like you can't even correct someone

for doing it because it's normal. We all embrace this really bad habit when really we should create boundaries, like we have boundaries for everything everything else. That's one night, don absolutely no schedule time to do it exactly, and it's your your cheat time, and that should be enjoy it and you don't yourself got it exactly. It's great. There's a I don't know, have you ever do you listen to John Bellian's music at all? Are you familiar

with him? Um? So, something that I love about Dan and E's relationships so much is like our love for music and like discovering new music and listening to music

and like processing lyrics and things like that. But there's this guy that he introduced me to, John Bellian, and he just came up with a second record, and there is something about his music and his lyrics that it every existential crisis I have in my mind, like every single one, like the things that keep me up at night and make me worry about society and my life and things like that he puts into a song and it's like I didn't even know until I heard it.

Then I'm like, oh my god, that's exactly how I feel. Like that is what makes me upset. And he has this song on his new record called the Internet, and it's basically the line is life became dangerous the day we all became famous. No one cares if you're happy,

just as long as you claim it. And I'm just sitting there and I'm like, oh my god, like it's so true, Like we are we take that as fact and word in these like curated moments that we have created on the Internet, and they're like, oh, well, oh my gosh, like look how happy they are when we have no idea because we haven't even stopped to ask them,

because they look really happy on the Internet. And and so it's a really if that song is like and it's like he has such sick tracks and it's like roll upbeat, but but like the words, you're like, oh my gosh, and um, you'll have to listen to this song stupid deep. It's my favorite and you'll really like connect to it. I think it's basically like maybe everything I've been chasing, like every like maybe who I am is just fine, Like maybe everything that I do is

for validation from someone else. But like even though I'm okay, and it's like the whole inside my heart is stupid deep, like all of that, and you'll love it. It's just like it's a very It's just a song that makes you be like, oh my gosh, yeah, and you're just like you're that is like that is what I feel all of the time, but I could never verbalize it in the way that he does. So of social media is, for instance, like this and music in general is people.

At this point, I think we're hitting a wall with it. We're like, okay, there's something, there's a dark side there is. When it first came out, it was like social media pictures, no big deal, easy breezing. We get to see pictures of our friends. It's amazing, great way to keep up.

And then all of a sudden everyone became apparent of the comparison thing because everyone talks about it, and now I feel like we're entering into a time where it's like it's a wonderful time because it's like we're all figuring out, Okay, how can we be honest, because we're all crying out that we need honesty and people to

be real and not perfectly curated. And I feel like something's happening where some people are getting brave enough to share their real stories absolutely social media, absolutely, and that's where I'm loving that absolutely, and it's great because I

think it's starting conversation. I mean, like the king of influencer, the Fat Jewish, he did an article and it was so interesting the other day that it was like the influencer is dead, Like we are all so sick of the same thing over and over in the repetition and the curated story where he was like he's not saying like Instagram is going to go away, but that kind of story is over, yes, and like people just want to see life and they're over this curated story that

everyone's trying to point out. So it was a really it was a New York Times article and it was really it was Yeah, a guy whose entire livelihood has been based on being an influencer, and so it was really it was a really interesting article because you're just like, I don't he's he's I mean, that's why he's getting into like alcohol brands and things like that, because he's trying to figure out where there's like a more sustainable

future for himself. And it was it was more of like a business article than anything, but there were some elements to it that were also you know, a psychological element too, So it was really interesting. I love that, and I love this, and I love I just love that people can share their real stories. So, Okay, you were in music before anything. Your dad was in music, You grew up in music. Talk to me about your musical journey, how you ended up at Warner Wild Ride

kind of like start start me out from the start. So, my dad was in radio for forty one years. He's the best retired two years ago. Um, And he was in radio in Kansas City, started and pop and then they flipped his station to country and it was like the end of the world for him. He was like, I cannot program country music. Oh my god. Now you couldn't get him to listen to anything else. Um, he

won't listen to anything but country music. But I remember when they flipped his station from pop to country, and and he had such a cool and unique career himself, because I mean he's gone through eight owners and that is not a normal thing in radio. Most people, unfortunately are let off like they're gonna be let go when they get a new owner or a format change or anything like that. Like a lot of people lose their jobs, and he never did. He's been he was with the

same station for twenty eight years. Um started when he was fifteen in a small town of Emporia, Kansas, where he's from. But um, but then when he moved to Kansas City and got the job at Q one O four, that was I mean, he's never been anywhere else and UM had a few like cool promotions in that where he was then became the operations manager of the whole cluster, so he got to go back to the platformat a

little bit. But he only but he exclusively programmed the country station for program means he makes the playlists that all the stations that he programs for listened to. Correct he is like the DJ of all these things and he's picking it all out. He was on air for

a little bit. He did the morning show for a long time, um and then, but he always programmed that station, and then he had he had programmers for his the stations that he oversaw, like the pop station, the easy listening station, but he never gave up control of q ONA four. It was like his little his brain child, and he loved it. So I just kind of grew

up all around that. I mean, you have to stay on top of music, top of artists, artists, songs, and so you're growing up hearing all the newest artists, all the newest songs, having your own opinions because you're thinking, oh, this is how songs get picked. Absolutely, and especially with him, like I'm this is a no bias statement. He is a guy who's always supported new artist and always wanted

to give the new artist a chance. And you know, this novel idea of actually paying an artist to come play in their market, but he always paid them, you know, And he was just like a he was a really big supporter of music and new music and country as

a whole. Um. And Mike Kennedy's his name, and he's the best high dad, but he was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame, and that was kind of like his He wanted to do that before he retired, so after that happened, he retired a couple of years after that, and um, I think he's a little bored now, so maybe we'll find him something to do. But he So that was I was always exposed to music. I was around music. I went to my first concert when

I was four years old. I've been to one trillion concerts in my lifetime, especially not with Dan and um as an adult. But I just was always around music. I've always loved music. I love discovering music, and um, you know, watching his job, I was like, all right, well,

being a record promotion person sounds amazing. So that was actually so so that is basically the label contact for my dad or people who program like my dad, and so like the rebel representative of the artists, like you represented dance song and then you called all these radioizations thing, here's why you need to have this exactly, and you can go that in a variety of ways, just letting the music speak for itself, giving sales stories, giving market stories,

concerts iTunes exactly, whatever it is you can go like a numerical route. You can go purely emotional, like that's like videos of a crowd, Yeah, exactly. And it's almost like a sales job in a way, um, because you have those certain relationships and partners where you can just be like, I've built this relationship, like we're buds, here's this song and they're going to play it, or you're gonna not have that relationship with everyone. So you have

to prove it with you know, a story. And so that's what I thought I always wanted to do, and so I moved. I worked, I did internships from eighteen on. So I went to school at the University of Missouri, lived in Nashville every summer in Turning, did my first one at UMG, did to it sony um And then after you know, you think you're gonna you put in all this time and you're like, well, I'm gonna just move right to Nashville and have a job. There were

no jobs. So I was just sitting in my college town like twiddling my thumbs, and I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do because there aren't any jobs. And finally someone called me and they had a temp job at ci A doing ticket accounts, and I was like, well, it'll get me to Nashville. So I moved down Here was doing this like ten dollar an hour timp job where I literally just called people and asked for ticket sales. That was my whole job,

day in and day out. It starts to drive you crazy. Um. And five months into it, Chris Palmer Warner Brothers called me. He knew that I always wanted to work in promotion and said he was going to have an opening as his coordinator. So I went in, I interviewed, and UM, funny enough, the two people it was myself and this girl on a cage who I loved dearly. She was Gloriana's day to day and we were both up for

the job and I ended up getting it. And but what's funny about that is like years later, when I left Warner On, it took my job and so now she is Dan's Northeast regional. Um and took my job. So I had a really short stint as coordinator at Warner because um really sadly um, the Northeast regional Lindsay Wallerman I was diagnosed with cancer and passed away about three months after her diagnosis. It was horrendous. She was my like intern coordinator at my very first internship when

I was eighteen, and so like life full circle. Then I got this coordinator job years later and I was her coordinator and it was so cool. And then when she got sick, they asked me to step in in her region, and of course with and I had every expectation of going back to being a coordinator. You know, I was like, I'll help her in any way she can because she couldn't really travel, especially when her treatment got really serious, and so I would travel and cover

her shows and do all of that. And then um, when we were at the a c m S, we all left before the awards because we found out that she had taken a turn. So we all flew down to Houston to M D Anderson UM to try and be with her, and unfortunately she passed before we got there.

But um, they It was a really weird time in my life because that was not only like my friend, but my coworker and kind of my idol because she was this like young girl just killing it in the job that I wanted to do and so being instantly

promoted in that manner was really challenging. It was challenging from a personal standpoint, but also it was a really uncomfortable role to fill when you're taking someone's job who was so loved and she was so young, and it was so devastating and you know, I'm I'm equally as devastated as everyone else's because this was my friend. But I have to still do this job that was hers and it was it was and yeah, so it went.

It started really hard, and um, I I had a really hard time with it, honestly, um and it I would think I felt not guilt because I knew it wasn't my fault, but I did feel uncomfortable. Um it felt very odd and it felt and I didn't know and I and I missed her and like she was the one who taught me how to be a regional and so it was just absolutely and not and that was not how I ever anticipated getting that job, you know, And so it's just like a weird, a weird time. But I we we got a that and I got

into regional world. And one day there was like a demo set on my desk and it was twenty two songs. And it was so weird because usually when someone brings you a demo, like an artist trying to sign, it's like four of their very best songs. They were like slaving over and I get this thing that's twenty two songs, Like what in the world is this? And I start listening to them and it's twenty two songs I loved.

And I went into my boss, Chris Palmer's office and I was like, what is this And they're like these two guys, Dan and Shay. They're like, we're desperate to get them, but every label in town is too, so they're gonna be in this week, like be sure to go say hi songs and they were already and almost done and that was It was so crazy, and so I remember them coming in and my other boss, Chris Stacy at the time, he was the senior VP of promotion. He came in and was like, you gotta go meet

the guys there down the hall. So I went in. I was so busy that day, so I just went in the office, said hello, said I loved the music, and left. I didn't even think about it, didn't even like a cross none of that even crossed my mind. I was just like, you know what, I'm in I'm out and like I said hello, but I had so

much to do that day, so I left. And the crazy part about it now is that like Dan remembers every element of that interaction, what I was wearing, like all of this stuff, and for him, we always say it for him and I, but I just wasn't even thinking about it, you know, yeah, I that just wasn't even close to anything on my mind. He was hopefully going to be my artist and then he was there.

It just never even crossed my mind, and it was just we find We ended up signing them and then they were on our team because I asked us, but I was like, I have to work these guys, and he was like done and he I remember them like playing and I knew every song and he was like that solidified it for me. Putting them on the UM your team, the Warner Atlantic and there something too like

having a champion is crucial. So the fact that you loved this baby, you wanted to fight for them, that is so much better for that for Danish with someone like you who's like I get you, I'm gonna go to yes, because some people, even though they're great, they don't go to bat for a totally difference there is, and and you know, I just was like, there's something

here and I think this is so special. And so we ended up working them and then I kind of I found out, you know, pretty close into the working together a thing that he had already asked Chris Stacy if he could ask me out your boss went too, yes, and and Chris was like, there's general But I was so taken aback by it because I had no idea, Like I truly was like what. I was like, what do you mean? And he was like yeah, And I told him like there's no rules against it, but I

don't know if it's the best idea. And I was like, oh, well, he's crazy. Like I'm not interested. You don't have anything to worry about. This point had become like friends. We had become friends. Yeah, you're absolutely taking him across the yes A radio station. We were definitely friends. We had a ton in common, we both loved music and like we I mean, we weren't at that point we did

that together. Um, And so you know it was just I was just like I had not even thought of that, Like I definitely liked him as a person, but I just said though he's fine to look at. But I then I think that like maybe triggered a subconscious thing that was always there when I heard that, and I remember calling my mom and being like, well, now I'm like, do I really like this guy? Because then I was

like starting to think about it. I was like, wait, like, we do get along really well and we have so much in common, and I was like, but I can't incuse my artists. And then, as you know, like being on, I took them on radio tour, so we spent a lot of time together travelers, and so then it became very much undeniable. But I was still very hesitant and

reserved because of work and um. But eventually we were like, all right, this is serious and we had to have the conversation yet, like, you know, if if I'm going to go have this talk with my bosses, this has to be for real. And he's like, well, I've been all in since the day I met you, so he was like, you have to think about it for yourself, and it was yeah, he loved he did. He did, and he still does thankfully, thankfully I haven't scared him

away yet. But yeah, So then we told my bosses and they're like, well, it's not ideal, but like, we'll figure it out. And we worked together for about nine months before and and all of this aside, I had kind of come to the realization that what I thought was my dream job was not for me, stemming back

to my personality. That is a challenging job people to make sure, like you with people are trying not to correct, and so it was, it really was, it did, and that was ultimately like I I mean, I That's what I always say, is like I love Warner, I love so many of my friends at radio, but that specific

job crushed my soul and for everyone listening. Being a regional, what Abby was is you have to go to the radio stations, hang out with the head of the head programmers of the stations, and you basically have to convince them why they need to ask a song. And they are not hesitant at all to be like Shorty with their feelings. They don't try to sugarcoat. And sometimes you're bearing your soul, like when you are truly passionate about

something and then you're like, oh my gosh. And so it's a lot of rejection, it's a lot of hearing no and exactly like you said, I don't think I've ever even thought of it in that way. Is that I want people to like me, and those people and I was happing to prove myself and honestly giving you all the reasons why they don't like in your artists exactly and the nightmare it is. And I ultimately through a lot of discussion with my family and Dan because

it was, you know, it's I was so young. Um, I was twenty four, and then I was I did it for sixteen months. Um, so I was twenty five when I eventually left. But I, um, it was like a lot of you know you for a year old, it's pretty good money. And so I was just like in the and it was what I always wanted to do, and I was like, what am I doing? But but I mean it got to a point where I was so stressed, I mean, losing hair. It just like wasn't

a good fit for me. What is that when you have this dream your whole life, that this is what you want to do, this is your fairy tale. You get it. You're making great money, you're young, you're independent, you're living at your dream, and that all of a sudden You're like, this is not what I thought. Now, do you feel insane? Kind of you totally lose your direction because you've held this thought for like years now, especially because you knew it at a young age. Yes,

you feel weird. For decades you've believed that this And I didn't have another plan, and so I was like, what do I do? What happens? Well, I mean I just had to really process it, and I was like, I think I have I really focused on the fact that I was only twenty five, and I was like, I don't want to at thirty five have been doing this this whole time and been like and just forcing myself too because it was my dream and be like, what am I doing? So I was like, you know what,

I'm twenty five. I know my heart knows that this is not where I'm going to be happy. That feeling I just knew from my physical response for from the stress like and feeling how bad I felt. I knew that I did not want to do that forever. Yes it did, and there were certain like wonderful things about it, like I love Warner of course, and some people are made for this job. Some people are and like the competition of the people to be it is and some

people I was it does and everyone I knew. I wanted to make sure that I was, like I was successful at it before I left, because I didn't want to leave it because I because I knew I didn't. It didn't feel right from the beginning, but I didn't want to leave it, and I wanted to make sure that it wasn't it didn't feel right because I just maybe wasn't succeeding at it. So I like put in time and I yes, and so I was very good at it. But then that made me know for sure.

I was like, you know what, like I know the squirrels again, I was like, I know for sure that because you didn't succeed, I'm quitting because it wasn't right. And and so I did that and Dan fully supported all of that and was like we'll figure it out. And it was the best decision. And it was the best of both worlds too, because again, how much I love Warner and everyone in that building, I still get to see them all the time and spend time with them. Yes, so I get to still be with my people, and

that is a highlight in our life. Yes, And it's so They're just such wonderful people and we've been through so much together as co workers and then now as Dan's wife, and it was definitely the best decision and it was great And Warner has changed my life because I met Dan through them. That's how we got joy, That's how I got started and animal Rescue. I just want to take a minute to say how awesome is

it to hear how Abby has navigated her life. She had her dream job, she realized it was no longer what she was passionate about. She let herself evolve. I feel like being a woman there are so many pieces to it, and especially when you get to the point in your life like I am, when you're ready to add a baby into the picture, it is hard to conceive.

Sometimes it's so there's like a tiny little fertile window, and you have to find that fertile window each month, or if you miss it, you gotta wait till the next month, Peeing on the sticks, checking your temperature every day, playing the guessing game. Like I've said before, it's so difficult, but ava bracelet makes it easy. All you have to do is just wear this bracelet. I keep talking about it because it works for me. I don't support anything

that doesn't work. This bracelet works. It doubles your chances of conceiving each month. I'm telling you, if you're ready to bring a baby into your world, head to Ava women dot com A V A, W, O, M E N dot com and enter the code real talk for twenty dollars off your order. I'm promoting this because it works. I've had so many friends, You've had success stories from the Ava bracelet. I used it every night, So check

it out. If you're ready to grow your family, Ava women dot com and enter the code real talk for twenty dollars off your order. Okay, Abby, tell us more. Um, they're so. Rebecca Stirk Gordon Um was an A and R at the time, and she was fostering this puppy and I was sitting in my office. I could hear people cooing and I was like, it's either a puppy or a baby. And I went out there and it was a puppy and it was her foster dog. And I sent Dan a picture of her and he was like,

you want to bring her home? I was like sure, and so we took her to like on a trial run, and within a day, we knew we were going to keep her. So we got this dog. And that was my introduction to Proverbs. And that's the rescue. Yeah, and that so Proverbs twelve to an animal rescue is um rescued that Dan and I have become super super involved with. And all three of our dogs are from there. And she is the reason that I found Proverbs and so

and she was my first rescue. We had. Um. I had a lab that I had gotten from a breeder, just because my parents had gotten dogs from breeders and I didn't know any different. And um, she was my intro and she's we call her the original rescue. And she was my original rescue. And she's making funny noises and she sees a squirrel. I know, girl, um um, but she is. She was the reason that I became so passionate about animal rescue, and now it's like my whole life. I try. I try to volunteer as much

as I can. I try to help bring attention to them, to help get talks adopted. Yes, I will transport dogs we foster when we can. Um. And I try to bring awareness to not just their cause, but adoption in general, because I know that I wasn't super familiar with rescue until I got really familiar with rescue, and I just want people to know that it's an option. I hate it because people are always like, don't judge me. I did this, and I don't care, like I don't have

any judgment. I always say that, I always will say rescue a dog. That is my philosophy. That's how I feel. But if that doesn't work for someone, that's okay. There's no judgment. I just want to bring awareness to how wonderful rescue dogs are and how many great dogs there are in shelters that need a second chance. And we've always had rescue dogs and they're the best dogs. They might have their little quirks from their abuses, they've had trauma. Ye,

they're the sweetest they are and they just love. Yeah. I mean like I am my dog's whole world. And that is like a really cool feeling. Like these babies love me so much and I and they bring so much to me too. The dinner table and on the desk and on the table and in the chair that when we first moved into this house, Caroline came over for dinner and we're just all sitting there eating pizza. We had like no furniture, nothing going on, and we just look over and Ghosts had just sat down like

he was one of the girls. He's sitting there, how to play the pizza in front of him. This is dinner. This is what we do. Um. And it happens pretty regularly with the Chief when Dan and I are having dinner, he'll just come sit in one of the like captain's chairs, like again to the Chief of the house. It's so great. But that was so special watching the skyrocket of Dan

and Chair's success. It has been crazy this past year that you feel it's the last year has just been so crazy because having been with Dan for the last five and a half years and be taking them on radio tour and being seeing where there when no one showed up to anything, and then there's just been a shift. Um, I think it was most busy a bole this summer with tequila, for sure. Tequila has changed our lives. Thank you, Jordan Reynolds and Nicole Galleon. Um, it has changed our lives.

That one song that's just like the game changer. I mean they have a lot of songs. The one that's just like Okay, yes, this is the game changer and it has been and it's been so special to watch it. We all loved that song and but we never could have predicted what it was going to do. So what did it do exactly? I mean it has been the song has not only was it their fastest chart rise in terms of number one, but it's just been from a radio standpoint, but from a sales standpoint, it's been

really crazy. Um, from just opening up new doors for them and yeah, it's at pop radio right now, um, which is really cool and exciting, and it's been it's just been this. I think it introduced them to a whole new audience as well, and so it's just kind of what it's their fan base grow a lot, and um, you see it at shows and I think that's been the biggest thing for me to watch, just having been at the shows in the beginning and now being at them.

It's just a whole different energy in such a cool way. And and I mean we who's like, now Speechless is going to be their fastest song, um, and that's really cool to Yes, that's the wedding video one and that's so but we don't it is and that's real I mean, we've had people asked us if that was a recreated wedding, where like, Nope, those were actual weddings. We didn't recreate them. But who's to say that Speechless would have had that

same platform without Tequila, you know. Um, And so Tequila has just been transformative, and we always tried to be very grateful and happy for what it has done for us. And even from we were talking about it a couple of nights ago, it's like Jordan Reynolds, who wrote the song with Dan and Nicole Gal and we um, we would not have known him and he is now our

best friend. He and his wife Taylor, like they bought a house we are we're calling it the house Tequila built a mile away from us, like they were able to buy a new home, and they are just they're just such special people and we just wouldn't have that

friendship without that song. So even at like the base level, despite all this stuff that it's done for Dan's career in Shea's career, it's like it's been just even on a personal level, it's like allowed us to have that new friendship and that relationship that we cherish so much. And then I mean then Jordan's has six songs on the records, but it all started from Tequila and he and Dan right all the time, and it's just like a really special friendship that they have that never would

have come about without it. So I try to think about those things too that are so much that seems smaller than really than yeah, than double platinum records and like things like that, but it's but they're huge there. It's like that's such a special thing and we'll cherish them forever and ever. So it's cool. What have you noticed about fame? The good, the good aspects and the maybe not as delightful aspects. Um, the good is And I think this goes back to our social media talk.

I think that the platform allows you to raise awareness for things so with I mean just on like such a small level, there's we get more adoption applications at proverbs because of it and things like that. Um, so it gives you an opportunity to be influential that you wouldn't have. UM. I think it's the negative obviously is maybe for for Dana, attention that he doesn't want and

music exactly. He loves making music, and um, the fame part is just an element of that the artist thing, but he's not an attention guy, so I think that's definitely something that he struggles with. But again, it all comes back to being a positive because his music is being heard by more people, and the stuff that he slaves over a day in and day out to create it's getting Yeah, more people are getting to see it and hear it and um feel it, and that's a

really big positive. I don't think I find too many negatives in all of it. Um. I think there's way more positive than negative, which is a really good thing. And thankfully people are pretty nice to us for the most part about this community of women because the wives of country music artist and just like entertainment industry people in general, it's a strong community. It's the best explained

to be about this community because it's rare. I'm gonna probably feel really emotional about it today, just with um the week that we have had that has been filled with a little bit of disappointment. Um. I yes, this is weird talking two days after CEM and it's okay, UM, And you know that, No, it was a disappointing week and that's and you know, there's been a lot of

sadness in that and just listening. It's because Danity were nominated for two of the year and it was a great I mean, it was a great group of people. But this was like a moment for them. It's been a big year for us. And and four nominations. We thought at least one this year. Um, we thought we thought one. And so there's some disappointment. Doesn't mean yeah, I've been sad about yeah. And it's not to say that anyone was more or less deserving of a win.

We just were hopeful, um. And we love everybody in this community and everyone that won, and it is but it's that doesn't mean that there isn't some sadness and disappointment and a loss. So and and overall this year is a win, there's but it just on on such a big platform. Judgment hurts, um. But the biggest thing and positive of all this was the support system I

had in my fellow wives. Um. They the messages and texts and things of love that I received that night and yesterday, um are I mean, that's what we talked about. That's just such a I cherished that so much and it not only meant so much to me, but to me, then that's the wind in itself. Um, I was Haley for the most I just adore her more than life. But Haley Hubbard sent me some of the most encouraging and loving texts, and we were up for a lot

of the same awards. Yes, so we lost, they lost too, And yes, and so she, of course, I'm sure feels the same disappointment that we felt. And but I know and I know Tyler reached out to Dan too, And but the words of encouragement in things that she shared with me yesterday made me and even again today, like I heard from her first thing in the morning. It's like that is such a precious, precious thing. And I don't know if other genres have the same community that

we do. They might, um, but I think it would be hard to match the friendships and the loyalty and just the genuine love we all share for one another.

And I mean this includes you. Um. It's just we have these like girls who want everyone to succeed and we want our husbands to succeed equally, and there's just no competition in it, and that each other right, and like it's so real and like we understand each other in a way that maybe not everyone can and because we're all living these same lives, and but I just I find it so precious that even though we are in a world that has competition, that we don't view

it that way. We all want each other to succeed. We route each other on. We want everyone to have success, because then that means we're all going to have success together. You don't want to not have everyone having a great time, exactly, and ultimately the success that everyone has pushes the genre forward and that opens more doors for all of us. And it's so true, and we just all want it for each other, and I find it just really special

that we get to have it. Sometimes I can't believe it because I know we have such a large group of women who are so kind, so costs are and exactly what you said, everybody wants to succeed, but like everybody wants every everybody to route for everyone, And you feel the pain and we all feel it for each other. Yes, you see the whole story in the picture and you're

just like you just feel it. We're all real with our feelings about it, and it's so important and I just feel that's just like the most treasured thing of all of this, and that might be the positive of all of the success is the friendships that we've gained from it and getting to just be on a ride with a really amazing group of people, and it's really really special, and you know, it's like those friendships mean more than any award. So yeah, there, it's really really awesome.

And you know, we're Dan and I are really lucky to to get to have Shaye and Hannah on it with us. You know, like we get to share in the ups with people, but we get to also have the support in the downs. It makes it you're not as alone in it. We're sharing the same feelings and you don't like a sibling or something, right, just to be able to talk about it, right, get it. Yeah, we feel the same things and you don't feel as alone in it. There's someone else that's sharing in your

joys and in the sads too. So it's you know, we're really lucky in this community and Nashville is so special and I don't think that there's any other community like it. I don't. Right, chief, we're going to wrap up, wrap up, to wrap up a little bit before actually the last question, why is it important to be vulnerable and to be able to share, because that's really hard

to do. It is, it's so hard, and like being putting yourself out there is and from someone who deals with extreme anxiety, it's like really hard to put yourself out there because the second I share something vulnerable, I like immediately want to take a vulnerability. Yes, you're like, oh my gosh, I shouldn't have shared that. I feel naked, like I put a naked picture of me on Instagram. Right, You're like, oh my gosh, I shared way too much

and now that's not going to be accepted. But then of the time it is, and then I'm so grateful for it, Like and you know your heart is good, right,

you know what you shared was for a reason. And I think when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and then we get the response that we were looking for, then it's like makes it so much bigger because if you're not sharing anything and you're just having these like surface level interactions, then yeah, you're not putting yourself out there and you're not going to be scared, but then you don't get the response that like heals you or and like when you put yourself out there and then

you have someone be like I'm so glad you shared that or I feel that same way, like here and feeling like you're not alone in your feelings. That's a really, really big part of it. And it goes back to me telling you to listen to the John Bellian Record because he's the most vulnerable artist. I mean it is.

It's insane to me, like the things that but there are things that we're all feeling, and if he didn't share those feelings, like I wouldn't be sitting here telling you about it and telling you how much it made me feel and allowing me to be vulnerable too. That

I love. That wrap up this whole things inspiring, but leave your light if you're going to pass something on, like with how you would wish you're, what you're trying to do with your life, how you want to inspire others, maybe if you're talking to young people or just somebody who's looking up to you and saying like, man, you're amazing. How do I get to be you? Or or how do you know? What is your inspiration? My biggest thing, and I've been thinking about this a lot lately, is

I want all of us to do something. Um, there is a lot going on in our world and a lot of negative and I think sometimes it's easy to be complacent, um, because we're all very fortunate and very blessed. As something Caroline and I were talking about before we started this, and I think I think we all need to do something bigger, whether it is animal rescue or bringing someone food that is experiencing homelessness, or even just

as small as being kind to one another. I think I'm in a place right now where I just want to make try and make a difference in whatever way that it is, and I think we all need to do that. And um, even if it was as simple as if you voted a couple of weeks ago, that's so important. Um. I just want to make sure that we're all thinking about the impact that we're making on

the world and try and be a positive one. If we all do something positive collectively, just a little bit, the ripple effect, it's huge, yes, And it's really important right now because there's a lot of negativity that we could focus on, but I really want to focus on the positive and trying to make something good in this world. I love that, I love it. I love you. Okay, bye, thank you so much for joining me and Abby on this episode of My Wives series. Next week I have

Hannah Mooney joining me. She is married to Shay of Dan and Shay, so this is Abbey's sister wife. She is amazing. She grew up on a farm. She is so capable, She's so beautiful. She also is a pageant girl on accident, but she's just such a shining star. She kicked acid in the pageant world. Hannah's story is so amazing. She's the happiest person on Earth. And Shay, her husband, is the funniest person on Earthy're incredible couple.

And you guys, like I've mentioned throughout this whole episode, Women is actually if you're wanting to grow your family, make sure you check out Ava bracelet. They are game changing it for women who are trying to conceive. You wear the bracelet at night. It tracks all of your body temperature, It lets you know how you're sleeping, It gives you a full report of when your most fertile window is, and it doubles your chances of conceiving each month.

So check them out a v A Women dot Com use the code real talk for twenty dollars off your order again. It's a V A W O M e N dot com. Use the code real talk for twenty dollars off your order. Ladies, I'm telling you, if you're ready to crow your family, this is the jam. We will see you next week. I hope you love this as much as I did. I love you, guys by