Love this podcast? Support this show through the Acast Supporter feature. It's up to you how much you give and there's no regular commitment. Just hit the link in the show description to support now. Oh, not near the house, please. Come on, up the other end of the garden. It's fine, Mum! Oh, it's gone straight through the kitchen with... We'll get someone out to replace that for you. Don't worry.
With DirectLine's accidental damage cover added to your home insurance, whether you've smashed your window or spilt wine on your carpet, we'll get you from problem to solution as quickly as possible. DirectLine. We're on it. Excess supplies. Home insurance underwritten by UK Insurance Limited. Give me the controller. Get your own. I'm doing a side quest. Downloading a new skin. I'm back with a club. Want to play co-op? I've got a mission to do. Tuck it up. Fire in the...
When you're gaming and caning the broadband, Wi-Fi 7 on EE makes every device work better, even yours. Go, go, go. We're moving. Upgrade to Wi-Fi 7 on EE and we'll sort the switch for you. 43.7% UK availability. Smart Hub Pro and Smart Wi-Fi Pro available with selected EE full fiber plans. Terms apply. What would you call that hat? It's a tri-cornered hat, Ross.
Because my first comment is, tri-cornered hats aplenty. Everyone's in a tri-cornered hat. I made the kids watch one of these today. Which one? We'll get to it. Oh my God. Are you recording now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You made your kids watch one of these? While they were eating their dinner, yeah. Britain. An ancient kingdom with legends of violence, cruelty and torment in its blood. Join your hosts, Ross, John and James, as they bravely tread where few would dare.
Witness their journey into the horrific history of British horror. They are... The General Witch Finders. Okay, so ladies and gentlemen, Gauntlets and Ghouls are very festive. Merry Christmas and welcome back to the 52nd episode of the General Witchfinders podcast. I'm James in Bournemouth in southern England. I'm John Pountney. I don't know why I leaned forward then. I'm John Pountney and I'm still John Pountney in southern England.
wales which is still in the south of wales i'm ross in dorchester merry christmas everyone in southern england and this time we burnt down the ash tree did we it were a shadow and never continueth in one state in the midst of life we are in death of whom may we seek for succor but of thee oh lord who for our sins are justly displeased. Yet, O Lord God most holy, O Lord most mighty, O holy and most merciful Savior, deliver us not into the bitter pains of eternal death.
A Ghost Story for Christmas is a series of annual British short films first broadcast on BBC One from 1971 to 1978 and sporadically revived by the BBC since 2005. With one exception, the original films were directed by Lawrence Gordon-Clark and shot on 16mm colour film. This series aimed to adapt classic ghost stories for television, echoing the tradition of telling supernatural tales at Christmas.
So far, we've covered a warning to the curious. There's some choir singers at the door. Carol singers. Merry Christmas, everyone. And the signalman in episode 21. Whistle and I'll Come to You and Stigma in episode 32, and The Stalls of Barchester, along with The Treasure of Abbott Thomas, both of which were good, in episodes 41A and 41B. Well, this year we're bringing you Lost Hearts on New Year's Eve.
But tonight, Christmassy, the traditional night for ghost stories, we'll be discussing the ash tree. Written for the screen by David Rudkin and based on M.R. James' short story, The Ashtree was directed by the aforementioned Lawrence Gordon-Clark. Looking back at Clark's credits.
It's surprising we haven't mentioned that he also directed one of our favourite Monkey Man TV drama events from the 1990s, Chimera. That's definitely something he should cover. Charles Dance one. No, no, that's First Born. The one with Chad. It was ITV, was it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The four part one with the... Oh, Jesus Christ. The monkey on the phone. Yeah. Amazing.
Ross says that's definitely something that we should cover, assuming that we can find a way to watch it. The Ash Tree aired on December the 23rd, 1975 and featured Edward Petherbridge in the jewel roles of Sir Richard. And Sir Matthew. According to IMDb, Petherbridge began his career in 1961 and appeared in a wide range of films and TV roles. He's apparently best known as the sharp and snooty sleuth Lord Peter Whimsey in the Dorothy L Sayers mysteries.
Impressively, he kept working until 2017, with one of his final roles being the voice of a gentleman fish in one of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland films. Wow. That's amazing. Has anyone heard of Dorfiel Sayers Mysteries? Yeah. I've heard of Dorothy L. Sayers, but not the... I don't know there's a TV version. The cast also included Preston Lockwood as Dr. Croom, Barbara Ewing as Anne Mothersoul, and happily for our status as a secret Doctor Who podcast.
though correctly perhaps less happily for james uh layla ward as lady augusta barbara ewing uh barbara ewing had an impressive career on the full screen appearing in shows like peak practice casualty the bill an episode of Hammer House of Horror, and even the Pertwee fronted game show. Who done it? Which is fantastic. They're all on YouTube. It's just basically they act out a scene and then Pertwee asks questions of the...
The celebrity sleuths, the panels who ask questions of the different characters out of it. And Percy wears some amazing... I've never seen it. Maybe I'll give it a go. Oh yeah, you've got to give it a go. He's always got massive medallions on and stuff. Of course.
She also appeared in Chiller, a British horror slash fantasy anthology series from 1995 that Ross has somehow never seen, but seems to pop up constantly on people's CVs. Are you two aware of this and should we be covering it? Remember something called Chiller? Do you remember anything? I've heard of Thriller, Michael Jackson, but not Chiller. Apparently it was like an anthology thing. I think they had Caroline Quentin in one of them and the guy who ended up going on to being in...
Walking Dead. I think he did one as well and stuff. Andrew Garfield. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Andrew Lincoln. Andrew Lincoln. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Andrew Garfield with Spider-Man. Okay. Right. If he's doing that, you can't make any mistakes because I can't edit it. There we go. No pressure. People love the mistakes. Beyond acting, Ewing is also an accomplished novelist.
with nine books to her name. Her novel, A Dangerous Vine, even made the long list for the Orange Prize, prestigious UK publishing prize in the UK. Layla Ward has a fascinating career trajectory, according to Ross. Her first film after leaving the Central School of Speech and Drama was Hammer's Vampire Circus. She was close friends with Douglas Adams.
who famously took her as his date to a screening of the Empire Strikes Back in the early 1980s. I bet he did. That's very, very close to when she was married to Tom Baker. Yeah. What year was Empire Strikes Back 80? 84. Was it? Was it? Well, no, I think it was released in this country in 81, 82, or am I getting that confused when I first saw it? No, I think it was 81. They made it in 79, didn't they?
I think it was 80, James, because Return of the Jedi was 83. Yeah, probably. So was she two-time in Tom Baker with Dennis Adams? Have we stumbled across something? No. What it says here is that... Adams also introduced her to her second husband and real-life Doctor Who, Richard Dawkins, for whom she would later provide illustrations for his... Well, they're not controversial books for us. If you're a weird Christian, they are.
They're not controversial. They're science, mate. There's no controversy there. Science. I know. At his 40th birthday party. where they were the only two who showed up on time. Of course, her first husband was Tom Baker, with whom she starred in Doctor Who as the second incarnation of the Time Lady Romana from 1979 to 1981.
There should be a general Witchfinder's drinking game where you take a sip every time you mention someone in this next bit. In 2019, a modern day adaptation, The Ash Tree was released by Baffle Gap Productions. written by matthew holness there we go take a drink hey garth merengue himself it starred i was a bit late to um Yeah. The Lala Ward season with Tom Baker. But this is the theme music from that one. Peter Howell, Radiophonic Workshop. Someone take John's phone off him.
This is what happens when Hell's isn't there? Yeah. I've had a few whiskeys before starting tonight. Yeah, well, it is Christmas. It also starts... Yeah, Hell's just downstairs. Yeah, wrapping up his gifts. She's not out tonight. Yeah, she's covered in sellotape. It starred Amanda Ravingdon, Reese Shearsmith, and John Sessions, star of Whose Line Is It Anyway? Dead now, isn't he?
Yes. Awful, really. I used to love Stellar Street with him and that other man. Phil Cornwell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When they used to do Mick and Keefe in the corner shop. So I never got that when I was younger. I didn't understand why it was funny.
I don't think there's anything to get, really, is there? I think if I watch it now as an adult, I'd probably find it more amusing. I'd probably enjoy it more. Yeah. I just thought they were a bad impression. Buddy King being a nosy neighbour. Yeah, yeah. And I'm a very nosy neighbour. Right, so let's then get into this. As with both of our festive specials and often the Christmas specials, they're only half an hour long, which, you know, that's a big tick.
As far as I'm concerned. Not a big get out. And I was surprised by that. Let me tell you. To say, this isn't the one I showed my kids because John did give me a heads up that there was nudity. Yes. I watched this one on my own. So you showed them the one where the kids have got like gaping holes in their chest. Not to give anything away. What did they think to that, Cleves? We'll talk about it when we get to it.
Okay, we'll talk about that on New Year's Eve. Is that a week tonight? Yes, it's a week tonight, yeah. Yeah, lovely. Great. I love New Year's Eve. Cool. So, it starts off with... the arrival the aforementioned uh the lord of the manor now let me get get this to get this the right way around yes right okay so who's first as it were
Who was in the house first? Is it Sir Richard or Sir Matthew? The original one is Sir Matthew. Right. The old dead one. And then the new one that comes back is Sir Richard Fell. Yes. Right. So Sir Richard Fell arrives at his new... property um on horseback as i put in my notes tri-cornered hats are plenty thus telling you we're deeply in sort of late 1700s period yes uh england and he is met by um
Very, very... A household staff. Dutiful household staff, giving it plenty of melods. Also, really loudly, really loudly sort of gossiping about him as well. Yes. Welcome to the hall, Sir Richard. Why is the new Sir Matthew's face such funny colour? Not Sir Matthew, child. Sir Richard. New squire, new name. Ian pale enough for a lord. He's been in Italy.
The new Sir Matthew has no lady. Sir Richard, no lady with him, but somewhere he has. Well, it's good exposition, isn't it? I really like the start. He turns up, there's no music, which I think is very interesting. And I think I'm right in thinking there's no music in the entire drama, which is quite insane. Very, very brave. And he turns up, bucolic scenery is somewhere in Cornwall, I think. It looks very Cornish.
And then he turns up and you kind of find out through, like you say, Cleves, the gossip, that he's been abroad. He's been in Italy. He looks a bit too tanned now to be a squad. Because in those days, people with a tan were commoners because they worked outdoors. So people with pale skins worked inside, not worked inside, they lived indoors most of the time rather than working in the field. Gingo.
get in go i should i should also mention though what i did think was that they will go oh he's far too tanned he's not tanned in any way shape or no we didn't they didn't even try To be fair, the print we all watched, and the only print I've ever seen, is very faded, and it looks like it was filmed in 1660. I was thinking, it's a stupid thing to think.
But because it was filmed in the 70s, it feels more authentically old-fashioned. It really does. Which is weird because they didn't have colour film and photography back then anyway, but it feels realistic. I think with all of these, the original run, film really adds something to them and it makes them feel like you are literally watching.
down the time-space visualiser, which is a Doctor Who thing, because it looks like you're literally watching a real vignette happening in the 16th century, whereas... You watch Poldark, say, now, or this is, you know, that's what this made me think of as Poldark or something like that. That era, isn't it? It just looks like it was filmed last week with a man. You can kind of see the crew.
That's what I often find with dramas now, that you feel like you can just see the crew stood off camera all looking bored, and these look like something else. I was forced to watch a bit of Paddington the other night.
The gunpoint. Yeah. I had a bit of, I had a bit of a strop because I wanted to watch, um, I don't remember what I wanted to watch. It's not like you, Cleves. Yeah. I wanted to watch something else. And they said, and all the, everyone in the house went, no. Um, and then they put patterns on. So I, I just.
read the 14 times I didn't watch but I want to watch extra you fucking dweebs you've got to like it sit down but what I was thinking when I was watching it it was like a lot of stuff now is just so well shot it's always everything's in focus everything's just looks too polished everything's really well lit and it just it just feels like it feels all feels artificial and i know paladin's not real i know he's computer he's his computer generated bear not real bear but there's everything in it
Yeah. But again, that is a heightened film anyway, but everything looks too real now. Yeah, whenever those films are on, a Sunday afternoon, hell will sit and watch them. And I can't watch them because... Everything just looks like a John Lewis advert. Yes, that's exactly what I thought. It's fine for 90 seconds at Christmas, but a 90-minute film, everything here just looks computer-rendered. Nothing looks like...
a real set that's been built. It will look sharp and bright and colourful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I totally agree. Throwing a pretentious coin into the fountain of this one. The other day I watched Werner Herzog's Fitzcarraldo. Are you just saying things like, now there's a film for you that is not all shot on set and super polished, et cetera, et cetera.
You can feel the jungle. You can feel the location. And they wanted to kill Klaus Kinski, didn't they? Indeed. In inverted commas. That's my profile picture on Blue Sky now, yeah. Him attempting to strangle.
Insane story. I think the story of the making of the film is more interesting than the film. Do you know about this film Cleaves? Where they basically... rather than do it with models they actually try to tow a paddle steamer over a mountain in the jungle and it's just like what and now they would just yeah it would just all be cgi and
It would probably starve the rock or someone like that. Yeah. So, yeah. So we then meet Lady Augusta, who I thought was meant to possibly be Italian. I thought that as well. If he's met her on the tour. As in the Grand Tour. But not Jeremy Clarkson. The Grand Tour is the thing that they did in this time. In between wars, before the Napoleonic Wars, all the gentry would go and visit the kind of seats of...
Cultural civilization. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Venice, Greece, blah, blah, blah. So she turns up and just sounds English. And then she bags a copy of... Tom Jones, the novel Tom Jones, which was very saucy for its day. But this was Lala Ward. This is Lala Ward, yes. And then it's a very strange...
Because I'm very used to the story, which I've got here as a reference point. Yeah, because they make her uncles, don't they, in the TV version? Yeah, they're uncles rather than father and son or grandfather and... Yeah. Whatever. Great grandson. I can't remember. Why do you think they made that change? Not really sure, but he, he, it's apparent quite quickly that he's, he's going quite mad and he's seeing things. Okay. Well, that's, so that's interesting.
Through looking at paintings, they say that the house has never been passed on to an heir. It's always been gone through an uncle to nephew situation. They seem to die before they have children. There's an issue with hereditary. Oh, well, that kind of makes sense, doesn't it? Because that's the curse that you find out later. I see. I didn't take that part in. I don't know why. Maybe I wasn't listening at that point.
Oh, that's interesting. But then you have... So I wasn't sure... So what happens then is the Sir Richard starts kind of like seeing the life of...
his uncle, Sir Matthew. And how they do it is very, very good. It's really good, yes. Well, for me, I wasn't, because he didn't seem to react to any of these visions he was having. So he starts off by seeing... like the the silhouette of someone coming to him talking about witches and stuff like that um but he doesn't seem to make any kind of reaction as if he's actually seeing it but then um he can't like they sort of change the clothing of of the actor
And so I was like, well, is he experiencing this or was this just like a method they are using to do a flashback of some way? I think it's several things. It's either like a time shift thing or time slip where, or he's in some way possessed by Matthew Fell. But I think it's several things, and I think it's quite ambiguous, and I think it's ambiguous deliberately, isn't it? It's like we are now seeing the other part of the story, which is what happens in the original.
You don't have this backwards and forwards thing. I don't think in this story, but obviously it works much better for TV that you have this kind of... And I really like the device of that silhouetted figure against the window. It's a very odd thing. It looks like a kind of, almost like a pop video kind of aesthetic. Years before pop videos, you know, in 1975, there weren't really pop videos as a thing.
Bahamian Rhapsody. Well, yeah, that's literally it, isn't it? That's what they always go on about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's probably a silhouette doing that. Is he a silhouette of a man? Yeah. Scaramouche. Scaramouche. So I don't know. You know, I just think that's a really interesting device. And then it goes back and you hear a bit about what I've said is Puritan in the window. I love Puritan stuff.
I love the Puritan era. I love the clothes. I love how miserable they were. And this drama for me is absolutely bang on. But they have good plagues there as well, John. Well, this is the plague. This is the OG plague. So what came first, your love of Puritans or your love of plague? Well, I love both, really. I'd say that this is about 20 years after, no, this is 20 years before the plague, if you're talking the Puritans, because...
The 1665 plague is Charles II. So you're talking within, there's a bit of a, I'm not really sure when the guy, it's more like his great uncle because. looking at the two eras in this story, when the witch trials are, and when he's talking about having, you know... It's about 100 years. Oh, they do say that, do they? Well, yeah, because they've got the...
the portrait, haven't they? So they're saying this is your uncle and that's his uncle. So it's like the uncle of the uncle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Okay. I thought that it was literally his father's brother rather than, so it's like his great uncle or something. Yeah. I see, yeah. So we see it's a Cornish setting. I've said that. And then we come across a dead cow. Yes. So this is one of many dead things, isn't it? There's lots of dead things in there.
So this is quite an interesting part that's in the story again, and it's the Castringham illness, which is the fact that all the cattle and sheep and whatever, they're kept outside. develop this kind of wasting disease and die and i think that's a really interesting idea because there's a point where he's saying about talking to a shepherd about yes why are you keeping your sheep inside in the summer when they yeah
So how would they have done that to that cow? Would they have killed it or drugged it? It's probably a dead cow, yeah. It was the 70s, Ross. They cared less. I don't think they would have tried to get a cow to lie down. I think they probably just went to an abattoir and said, have you got any dead cows? Which is... Got any dead cow anecdotes for your time on the farm, John? Um...
Remember, it is Christmas. No, not really. We really looked after our cows and we, I mean, we only had a small dairy herd. Do you have a pet cow? I have cows. you what you had a pet cow didn't you with a name we had two yeah we had um um oh god what were their names no we had pet sheep that was mary and ermine true and then i can't remember the names of uh
the cows, but they were Guernseys and Jersey's. So they were just nice cows that kind of lived a nice life. And our dairy herd lived a nice life, really. You playing the radio? They're not the radio, don't they, Carol? Oh, they love it. Yeah, it would be long wave radio four in the barn in the morning.
Wow. And my dad would be singing two songs. Have I told you this before? No. So he would sing. So from my bedroom, I could hear him with the window open in the morning. And he would sing a song which went... He'd sing that to himself, or he'd be singing, I want my mommy. So I don't know what they are. I think Ross is gone. Oh my God. So I think the first one... And this is how John became the man he is. So I think the first one was him. And the second one was a scream for help.
The other one, I want my mommy. Oh my God. I think was probably some kind of pop song or something from the fifties or sixties. If anyone out there can identify that. Oh my God. Cause he would, that's what he'd always sing. I can see him now. I can see him now. It was an amazing place to grow up. Awesome. But yeah, it's... It's weird and sad to see the Castringham illness. Yeah. And then he, we cut back to, what's his name? Matthew Fell.
Yes. He's doing a sketch of Cleaver. I'm crying. Blown away by that. No. He's doing a sketch of the new frontage that he wants for his... english house manor house yeah which is like an italianate kind of uh and when you go to like stately homes they're always talking about when someone came back from somewhere and put some extra columns on the front of the building or something
And M.R. James was obsessed with this kind of thing. And he was very, very anti the Gothic resurgence in the Victorian era for re- Anything to take your mind off gay sex, isn't it? It's just like... For redoing cathedrals in the Gothic style, he was dead against that. And one of his stories is all about that, which is, where is it? An episode of Cathedral History.
That's where they start to modernize a cathedral and they uncover a tomb of a vampire, which then goes around the kind of veiled Norwich or that kind of place. and then starts killing all the old people. That's a really good story. But he was also very much against these kind of English manor houses being turned into new kind of Palladian looking.
Where we went, Cleaves, years ago, what was that? Stourbridge? Stourbridge, yeah. Stourhead? Stourhead, yeah. That's about right, yeah. One of those, yeah. The Groffo. That's the archetypal thing here, isn't it? Men that came back and then tried to turn the landscape into this kind of Italianate idea of a Claude Lorraine painting or something like that. And that's what... So we see him here as this kind of modernising man who's been to Italy.
But then he's kind of coming across this kind of primeval arcane thing going back through his family. So he's trying to strive in one direction. Whereas he's been pulled back in the other direction by history, which I think is quite an interesting kind of metaphor. And he starts off by writing letters to his love. But then later on, he sort of pointed out that he's kind of...
He's neglecting her now because he's starting to become obsessed with this. The story seems to be reliving. Well, yeah, the image of the witch. I don't know if I want to use the word witch, really. I think witch has a lot of connotations in modern life. And, you know, witch trials and stuff historically were horrific. Yeah. I think we're going to... Did they ever use the word witch in this story?
Witchfinder. Yeah, the witchfinder. I don't know if they ever call... It's what they would have called her then, so I think... Yes, Mrs. Mothersoul. So Mothersoul, incidentally, is a name that was... in the graveyard of M.R. James's father, who was a reverend. So that's where he got the name Mother Soul from. Interesting. So you've got this interesting thing where it's implied, and that's not really in the story.
the original story it's implied that he's kind of being kind of pulled back in time by these kind of lascivious dreams of this the sexy witch down by the river picking some whatever would be growing by a river. I don't know, really. It's quite an interesting idea, and it's a good spin on the original themes, I think, of the original story.
Hey! I've got one more gear! I'm about to dial in! Loading up! Now I'm entering the lobby! Give me the controller! Get your own! I'm doing a side quest! Downloading a new skin! I'm back with the clown! With a squad, let's go! Wanna play co-op? I've got a mission to do! Attack, attack! Retreat! Fire in the... When you're gaming and caning the broadband, Wi-Fi 7 on EE makes every device work better, even yours.
Go, go, go. We're moving. Upgrade to Wi-Fi 7 on EE and we'll sort the switch for you. 43.7% UK availability. Smart Hub Pro and Smart Wi-Fi Pro available with selected EE full fiber plans. Terms apply. Hello, it's William and Jordan here from Help I Sexed My Boss. We're currently being sponsored by PayPal. Send and receive money quickly and securely to just about anyone, almost anywhere from the app.
With PayPal, you can spend more time enjoying the finer things in life, like a candlelit supper with your friends and less time worrying about the awkwardness of splitting the bill. And it's easy. All you need is their phone number or email. Don't just pay. PayPal. A PayPal account is required to send and receive money.
Come to me. Don't miss the film that critics are saying is a breathtaking five-star masterpiece. Starring Willie Rose Depp, Nicholas Holt, Willem Dafoe, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and Emma Curran. There is a devil in this world and I have met him. Tonight we destroy the beast. What if it does not work? It must. Nosferatu. Written and directed by Robert Eggers. In cinemas New Year's Day. Book tickets now. I'm ready.
It starts in November. Christmas catch-up. Let's do diaries. Oh, that clashes with my work, do. That's the day of the nativity. We're booked to see Santa. We're out picking a tree. There's in-laws to visit, pantomimes to see. I've got to write a thousand Christmas cards. Until, somehow, we're here. Four friends having our Costa Christmas catch-up. We should do this more often.
Get together this Christmas around the festive Nutcracker range at Costa. Costa Coffee. We don't see the ash tree until quite far into the episode.
Yeah. Which is quite interesting when it's... So this bit reminded me of Rebecca a bit, where there's multiple rooms in the house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he, Sir Richard... is um sleeping in one room of the house which he's not doesn't like yes and then he notices when he's outside the building that there's a room of the house which he hasn't noticed before and it's right outside of the um
It's next to the ash tree. And they are told that that room was when his great uncle died in the room. They closed the room up and no one's slept in there since. For some reason, this...
this makes him feel like, Oh, this is the remind what to move into. It's like he's never read a ghost story before. Yeah. It's, um, It's quite a weird sequence where he goes up with the architect, who is a character not in the original story, and they have a look in the room, and it's just this dusty room with everything covered with white sheets like you do in horror films.
And no one ever does in real life, do they, in an empty room? If you've got furniture, you don't put a white sheet over it, do you? And he's like, yeah, I want to sleep in here.
And at this point, do we hear the horrible kind of baby sounds in the tree? We hear the scratching on the window because they're kind of implying... Well, I think in the book it's more... They're talking that it could be the branches scraping the... yes it is but it's it's the ongoing brilliant part of these original ghost stories where there's a really creepy fucking noise and yes
The sound design is always really good in these things. The sound design is brilliant. In the original story, he hears the scraping, but it's pointed out to him by the vicar or whoever, that the tree actually doesn't reach to his window. So it's obviously...
something else that's scratching his window and he thinks it's rats and he's very happy to think that it's rats and not not you know something else he's looking out of the window then that night and he sees that mrs mother soul or old mother mother soul or whatever her name is is in the tree and she flies off in a very brilliant way. And I'm looking at Cleaver now and I'm not sure Cleaver remembers any of this. No, I can't remember that bit at all. I thought that he...
I thought that he had like a flashback to the past life when she was like digging around at the bottom of the tree. I can't remember. Yeah, but she flies off then. Oh, I can't remember. You see her fluttering away and then she becomes a hare. So this is her Matthew now. Yeah. So he's eyeing a flashback to Sir Matthew, seeing her in the tree. Right. She turns into a hare. He chases her back to her house. And then she comes out and she's normal. She's a human. She's not a hare.
And she's like, what are you doing? Why are you in my garden and stuff? And, you know, it's this... transmogrification kind of thing. He gets very up at sea and says, I cannot deny the fact I've just seen you transform into a hair. There's going to be consequences. I'm going to write to Barbara. Woodhouse. Not Barbara Woodhouse. The other one. Mary Whitehouse. The other Barbara, Mary Whitehouse. Was he going to help her trade a dog? Well, all I've written after this part is that...
thingy now, Sir Richard, the new one, is madder than in the story. In the story he's not really that mad, but in this, because he's having these flashbacks, he comes across as a bit more of a loopy. He's in the loop, isn't he? Because he's... the the um the architects they're trying to have a chat with him and he's just like he's just thinking about witches and stuff yeah which boobies
Because we have the witch trial then, don't we? We do have the witch trial, yeah. Witch torture. And again, it's something that I'm, you know, it's... Yeah, something which is horrible. Kind of used for titillation a little bit here. Yes, it's a trope of 20th century and 19th century fiction, which was actually quite a horrible thing across all of Europe, really, as a misogynistic kind of.
punishment for women who probably weren't doing anything wrong. And I think that's quite difficult to, I mean, there's a lot less of it in the actual story. They make a big deal of it in this dramatization. in a very 1970s way where you've got the totally needlessly topless actress. With shaved armpits. Did she really? Yeah.
Wish you probably wouldn't have heard of that period in time. No, it's quite uncomfortable watching and it doesn't serve the story at all. And it's basically just Sir Matthew. reiterating that he saw it turn into a hair. Yeah. And then... I bet there's not many boobies in the Mark Gatiss one coming up. I wouldn't have thought so. I mean, that's the thing. It's just strange. We don't need to have boobies. No.
No, I don't think that nudity in this way adds to the story. It's just that kind of post-war kind of madness of like... We're going to put everything on screen. We're going to show everything on screen now. Yeah, because we can. Yeah, there's going to be no kind of... It's just taboo, taboo, taboo in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I find it quite embarrassing to watch now sometimes.
you know, particularly with the Hammer films and this and other different things. You just think a lot of male crew, you know, I would say back in the 70s that... 99% of crews, directors, writers were men. And I'm quite uncomfortable with it, watching it now, because I just think it does look... It makes something like this, which otherwise is really, really good.
look very dated and a bit ham-fisted and it's a bit of a shame and you also think christmas eve like yeah it's not the most christmas eve thing to see a kind of topless witch is it no no it's a very strange And obviously the Emma James story has none of that in whatsoever. So then what happens then? We have the... Do we have a Puritan sequence then of them kind of marching? Oh, there's a great bit. Yeah. Going up to where all the rocks are and stuff. So that is fantastic.
And if I could live in that era and photograph that, I'd be very, very happy. James, I know you watched Ennis, Maine recently. I enjoyed it so much. I bought it. Yeah, so Ennis Mane is a film by, what's his name? Mark Jenkin. Mark Jenkin. That I've seen a couple of times. It's set in Cornwall. Me and Hale went to see it in the WMC in Cardiff.
last year with a live musical accompaniment by Mark Jenkin, which is really cool. So he's there doing all the weird radiophonic workshop kind of sounds. Oh, that would have been good. Different machines and stuff. So that was really cool. This part, I think, I'm... I'm probably okay in saying that Mark has lifted pretty much verbatim from this to put into Ennis Mane when you see the kind of Cornish women in their Cornish outfits.
kind of doing a kind of march on some rocky rocky hillside and i put very dramatic gallows yeah oh yeah it's beautifully put together it's really really well put together I never thought people fought enough when they're being taken to the gallows. And there's a bit where this woman is screaming and she's fighting them. And it's like, yeah.
There's no way I would walk. Phenomenal screaming. Yeah. Really good screaming. Yeah. It's superb. There's no way anyone would get, I would just walk up to a gallows. No, I think if you're going to depict something like this, do it in this way. It's kind of hyper real. It's really well put together.
Also, I love the way she is just staring at him like, this is your fault. She's really pissed off. She sees him with his wife. They're holding hands and she does a bit of a curse thing. There's a bit where they dig her up. in the modern day. Yeah, because they want to put a special pew in the church for Storich's family and his wife, but they can't extend it one way because of this consecrated ground. but they can go the other way where the...
Which side, I think, is it the north side of the church where people who aren't baptised and stuff would be buried? I can't remember which way around it is now, but it was famously for people who were taking their own lives and all that kind of... stuff happen there which is again it's really uncomfortable and just this weird arcane madness that we put all these people in this side of the
churchyard. So they're saying we can dig them up because it doesn't really matter. And when they dig up Mother Lovebone's body, they find that her coffin is empty. I've got to say, just want to point out James is still wearing the hat. I will wear this until we finish speaking about the action. The modern day sir is talking to his friend, the priest, and we get this bit about where they point in at.
pages in the bible right but at this point we get the best shot in the history of this podcast which is the two of them walking across this field with the sea behind them and it's it's a re it's quite a long it's a telephoto shot It's a really beautifully put together shot. And Cleaver, I'm seeing his face again now. He can't remember the shot. I can't remember the pointing in the Bible bit at all.
so at the end i gotta say i think i might have dropped off a couple of times welcome to the podcast everybody so basically in the story and in this They have this sequence where, in the past, they did this thing where they point to phrases in the Bible and it will tell them their future. And it's like, I will wake in the morning, turn a page, and I shall not be.
That kind of thing. So basically... That sounds good. Yeah, it's really good. So Sir Richard goes to bed after pointing himself. If I'd read that, I would have shit myself and just be like, okay, I'm going to go and sleep in with the... Maid or something. But basically he goes to bed and then in through the window come these, the most disgusting. Yeah. One of the best special effects ever put onto film. Yeah.
How they're done, I have no idea. Because I had no idea what I was expecting during this or anything like that. And you can see that my notes are... what the fuck is that in capital letters I was like what's happening now basically what you don't another great thing of this the sound is amazing it's the sound of babies You don't see all of it properly, but what you kind of make out is babies, spiders, but rather than babies' heads, babies' heads for bodies. Yes, yes. It's fantastic. Yes.
And there's a shot you see where they look like they're all suckling on him or something. Yes. Well, that's what they are. They're all drinking his blood. To paraphrase Shakespeare, they're mewling and puking. You hear this horrible, like, mewling baby sound. And they're all crawling in
And then they drink his blood and they're disgusting. And I remember the first time I watched this and I thought, I do not know how they did this. Then the credits went and I saw who designed these. John Friedlander, the man who also designed. davros's head all right enough said davros's head head and what i put is this immediately gave me the thing vibes john
One of my favourite films of all time. One of my ten favourite top ten films of all time. So this immediately gave it another star for me. Yes. It is very body horror. It is. They're obviously the offspring of Mother Soul. They live in the tree. She's been depositing them there. And you hear this screaming dialogue where...
will inherit the earth or something along those lines. I can't remember. It's the kind of thing which is like the meek will inherit the earth, but it's actually her talking about her offspring. So they kill him and... And then the maid comes in and chucks a lantern out the window. She sees one of them, doesn't she? Yes. She sees one of them, freaks out. And in her freaking out, she sort of throws her lamp.
Yes, out the window into the tree. Out the window, which then immediately catches fire. Yeah, so I've written horrifying bastards, baby noises. So the tree goes up in flames and they're all there. And this is what happens in the book as well. In the book, they see these things. I think the Bishop of Galway or someone is there in the book. But they're just spiders in the book, aren't they? They're not.
No, I mean, they're not just spiders. They're kind of big, mutated, amorphous things, which don't sound very nice. And they kill a tomcat that falls into the tree. Do you know what it also looks like, James? What's it called? The Holness thing we watched. Bob Holness? No, Matthew Holness thing we watched. Possum. Possum. Yes, it does. Yeah, I've got that in a book to read soon. Yeah. So, yeah, then Lalaward turns up, apropos of nothing, comes in to see her husband dead, touches him.
And there's some kind of electric shock kind of reaction because you've heard earlier on in the story that we should have mentioned that anyone that touched the dead body of the original Sir Matthew... had this kind of thing where the hands would turn black like frostbite. And then it finishes. But then you see in the ruins of the burnt tree, the skeleton of the woman, the body was missing.
Yes, that's right. That's where they buried her. That's where she was all along. And did she somehow send herself there? Or she dug up and placed her? Yes, I kind of... Because it's claimed that she's kind of friendly with all the farmers, isn't it? Yes, yes. She would have been doing stuff to kind of...
Make sure they had a good harvest and stuff like that. Yeah. My feeling was that, you know, that in one of the first flashbacks or one of the first time shifts, you hear them saying, we must talk to you about this and we must object to this in the strongest terms.
So, you know, and that was the whole reason why like, Oh no, no, don't, don't dig up her grave. Ooh. Yeah. Don't, don't, don't do that because they all know full well that she's not buried there and that she's under the tree. So yeah, that's how I, yeah. Very good. Very good. What do we think? What are we going to give the scores then? John, you first as our resident.
M.R. James. James Ian. Super fan. I would say, I'm trying to think of, it's got to be a 3.5 for me because I don't think it's as good as, you know, the hyper good stuff we've watched. But I do think it's a very, very solid retelling. It's beautifully shot. It doesn't really put a foot wrong. I think to modern eyes, it's slightly clunky. But, you know, a lot of stuff is.
I'm not saying it's like love thy neighbor or the rivers of blood speech or something like that. It's just, you know, in some ways it doesn't need the nudity, but I think it adds some really good spins on the original text.
And I always really enjoy this one. There's always something new to see. And like I say, the special effects for 1975 with the baby head spider things is just... really powerful and it's absolutely grim and you're just like i never want to see one of these things in real life if i'm going for a walk i never see one of those run up a tree all right yes
I'm going to give it a four because I was looking at, I think most of these, the ones we've done, so if I've given a four or a five apart from, I'm just referring to our zine. Now we're sold out, but we've just got all of our scores in there. Yeah. The only one that I gave a three was the treasure of Abbott Thomas. So I'm going to give this one a four, I think.
How about you, James? It was a fall for me as well. No way! Yeah, I really enjoyed it. Minus points, as we've discussed, for the absolutely unnecessary nudity, but... again hats off to mr james a really neat so i said extra because i said i was not expecting the body horror finale in any way shape or form and it was so effective
And I really thought the way they did the time shifting was very sophisticated for a half an hour story. Didn't make, didn't, you know, didn't sort of explain and spoon feed everything to you. Needed you to watch and to pay attention. said some of those lovely old themes of uh you said as you were saying john you know what was the name of the the plague that that really sort of concerned the cattle
Oh, the Castringham illness or something like that. The Castringham illness. As you were saying then, oh, you know, would they have actually liked the witch because of that? You know, all of those kind of folk horror tropes and ideas. That was great. And yeah, I just really, really enjoyed it. And half an hour. Done in half an hour. Highly recommend you have a look at this one. Four for me. And as John says a lot, more ideas in half an hour than you would normally get in a...
to our horror film nowadays. I mean, that's a lot of M.R. James short story. I mean, the original short story is like 10 pages or something. Brilliant. There's so much in this. Well, on that religious note, dear listener, thank you for listening. We're going to cut it out now.
all right okay well we did do a religious note ross might have cut it out but thank you for listening we hope you have an absolutely amazing christmas or festive period however you want to refer to it and whoever you want to spend it with yeah um we look forward to catching up with you again on the the last day of 2024 yeah sleep tight you know go to bed now
No, James, it's not the last day of 2024. It's the day before Christmas on 2024. No, that's for the next one. That's what I said. We look forward to catching up. Oh, sorry. Jesus, we're falling apart. I know it's Christmas. it's christmas day quite soon james so i just wasn't okay yeah but it's time now to turn off your turn off your um bedside light yeah snuggle down and you know and if you're a good boy or a good girl
Where the fuck is this going? Ross, this sounds sinister. No, I don't like this. I had to go and ask. I was in Primark today and... I was told to go and ask someone, so I was going, excuse me, where are the underwear for the seven to nine-year-old girls? Anyway, yes. Right, take all that out. Yeah, and time to go to bed. And I'll see you in the morning. Shut up. Why is he talking about this? I'm just saying. Good night. Merry Christmas. And I hope you get everything you want in the morning.
I want my mummy. I hope you get everything you want in the morning. Yeah. What do I need to say now? Love, light and peace. Love, light and peace. Merry Christmas, everyone. Okay, I downloaded that one. Happy holidays. Do you think that you can cut the end of that one together, Cleves? I'm just going to leave it as in the complete fucking mess it was. You have been listening to...
The General Witch Finders. Support the show and continue the conversation at patreon.com forward slash general witch finders. Subscribe and spread the word at generalwitchfinders.com Farewell, and don't have nightmares.
I've got one more game. I'm about to dial in. Loading up. Now I'm entering the lobby. Give me the controller. Get your own. I'm doing a side quest. Downloading a new skin. I'm back with the class. Want to play co-op? I've got a mission to do. Attack, attack. Retreat. Fire in the... When you're gaming and caning the broadband, Wi-Fi 7 on EE makes every device work better, even yours.
Go, go, go. We're moving. Upgrade to Wi-Fi 7 on EE and we'll sort the switch for you. 43.7% UK availability. Smart Hub Pro and Smart Wi-Fi Pro available with selected EE4 fiber plans. Terms apply. Can I have it back now? Um... That's not a toy, that's Daddy's. No, no, no! Not in the... Look out for the courier with your new phone.
With DirectLine's accidental damage cover added to your home insurance, whether you've smashed your phone at home or dropped it down your loo, we'll get you from problem to solution as quickly as possible. DirectLine. We're on it. Excess supplies. Home insurance underwritten by UK Insurance Limited. Talking about time passing, I worked out today... that if 9-11 for us was the start of the first world war we would now be two thirds through the second world war wow
2026 would be the end of World War II. Wow. If we, yeah, if we took 9-11 as the beginning of the first world. That's mad. No wonder everyone went mad in the 20s just because there was hardly... any time in between the wars at all 20 years or something but you because sometimes i feel like oh so much is happening and then you think oh yeah but that's like that's just history history yeah stuff happens but it's like what james said last week or whenever it was that it was like you know
the last 60, 70 years, it's actually been a bit of an anomaly because people have been at war, you know, in history, there's things like the Hundred Years' War. And it's like... People have just been fighting forever. That's the norm. Yeah. Now you can just blow up the entire world if you want to. One of Beck's favourite things to do around Christmas is to watch all Lord of the Rings. We put the Fellowship of the Ring on today.
And now you're watching Threads this year. No, no, no. At the beginning, they're talking about that they had all the war of the rings and all that kind of stuff. But over time, people forget about that. And that's all that evil does. It just waits for people to forget. And then when people have forgotten how bad things can be, that's when they can be...
And I said to Beck, that's exactly what's happening now. All the people who were in the Second World War are dead. So people have forgotten what fascism is. 20-year-old kids watching bullshit online now. We're just... be in absolutely condition to believe insane. He's a strong man with an answer to all our problems. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the thing is, there aren't any problems. The problems are created by other humans.
There we go. Wow. That's warmed us up. Yeah. Shall I get my ash tree prop ready now? Yeah, get the prop, James. Yeah. What would you call that hat? It's a tri-cornered hat, Ross. Because my first comment is, tri-cornered hats aplenty. Everyone's in a tri-cornered hat. I made the kids watch one of these today. Which one? We'll get to it.
Are you recording now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You made your kids watch one of these? While they was eating their dinner, yeah. Would, would you like to know that one of the, this tri-cornered hat. I've screenshotted this, by the way. You can put that out on the social media channels. This hat featured in two moments for me, which was both the Zenith and the Nadir.
that once I wore this ensemble, I got this to attend a pirate party when I was about 25. And I kid you not, and I kid you not, dear listener, if Ross is putting this on the podcast, it was genuinely one of the few times in my life I genuinely felt attractive. Women went berserk. It's not the hat, James. I'm telling you, it's not the hat. Wait, wait, hold fire. Let me tell the story that I went as a pirate.
Yes, to a pirate party. Yeah, so I had the eye patch. I had my chest hair out. So I had an exposed chest. And, you know, yeah, yeah, pretty much. And I had like the gloves, you know, like up to the, you know, the, um, The pirate gauntlets. Yeah. And women went absolutely berserk. Trying to leave. Yes. Obviously, alcohol was involved, but it's one of the few times in my life that I thought, wow.
Wow. You know, people are genuinely interested. Right, anyway. That's our tip for the week, guys. But then to the nadir is my friend Matt. Same night. Yeah, pretty much. So many years later, and this is, I was teaching by this point. My friend Matt does have two sons, both of whom are in their late teens now. Goodness me. Yes, I know. But at the time, his one son, and again, I won't mention it because he's going out in public.
But I got very well with both the boys when they were very young because they used to like to sort of attack me, Kato style. Because I'm a larger man, I could sort of pick them up and throw them about. And they love this. They love just sort of wrestling. So whenever I'd turn up, I would have to sort of wrestle them ever since I think. And one day I was dropping something off at Matt's and then he went, oh, hang on a minute. He said, he, meaning his son.
He wants to ask you something. I'm not allowed to do it. I said, all right, sure, sure. Send him out. Matt goes indoors. Out comes his son. And he went, well, you come to my birthday party. And I said. oh i said i'd love to thank you so much for inviting me i said i will definitely come and then he went it's gonna be a pirate party and i said cool and then he ran indoors
Matt came back out and he went, oh, sorry about that, but he really, really wanted to ask himself. And I said, yeah, of course, mate. Of course I'll come along. And then I said, do you want me to dress up? And even at the time, Matt just kind of went like, oh, no, no, don't worry about it.
No, no, no. Just turn up. Just turn up. And as the weeks got closer, I thought... You can kind of see where this is going. Wouldn't this be fun for the... Imagine the kids, the delight on their faces where there's a little... There's a knock on the door. Who is it? Oh, it's Captain Jim. Oh, my hearties. So, come the morning of the birthday party, I turn up at his house, full pirate garb. Yeah.
Cutlass between the teeth. Nobody was dressed up. Not a single soul. And like the parents of the kids were all looking at me like, who the fuck is this lunatic? And I said, Why is nobody dressed up? And Matt went, why are you dressed up? He said it was going to be a pirate party. And Matt went, no. And he just made this up on the spot. Amazing. So I then had to spend the next four hours.
Dressed like a pirate. Dressed like that. And everyone's just thinking I had some sort of mental disorder. So there you go. Without alcohol. Without alcohol. So there you go, Ross. You can put that in either the start or the end. That reminds me of the start of Ghostbusters 2. Yeah. That's all I can say. P-Man, P-Man, P-Man. Wow. It's time to take my drugs, everyone. Okay.
Yes, do it. Cleves, you're still too loud. You're going to have to sit back. It's like, this is why I wear a hood. I've turned it down. I've turned it down now. Is that better? No. Okay, I'm going to keep turning it down. Why don't you just move back? Because the sound quality is shit. I'm turning it down. Okay. Yeah. Is that better? It's still exactly the same. I'm doing the wrong one. There we go.
Okay, one sec. All this has got to go in. Yeah. Okay. How about that? Is that better? Better? Yes, that's much better. Okay. Okay, so we're going to do... That's loads better. We're going to do two parts. Yeah, that's better, Cleves. Do you know what? What? Just to say that you can probably edit this without Cleves. But it is exactly a month to Christmas Eve, look. Is it? 24th of November. That's wild, isn't it? Yeah. Carry on, James. Don't spoil the magic, John. The magic of Christmas.
Is here in my house. Oh, not near the house, please. Come on, up the other end of the garden. It's fine, Mum! Oh, it's gone straight through the kitchen with... We'll get someone out to replace that for you. Don't worry. With DirectLine's accidental damage cover added to your home insurance, whether you've smashed your window or spilt wine on your carpet, we'll get you from problem to solution as quickly as possible. DirectLine. We're on it.
Excess applies. Home insurance underwritten by UK Insurance Limited. Ladies and gentlemen. Emilia Perez is nominated for 10 Critics' Choice Awards and 10 Golden Globe Awards, including Best Director Jacques Audiar and the Best Picture of the Year. To listen is to accept. Winner of five European Film Awards, including Best Film. Cut to the chase. Zoe Saldana, Selena Gomez and Carla Sofia Gascon are sensational. Raves Awards Watch. Emilia Perez. Watch now on Netflix.
Give me the controller. Get your own. I'm doing a side quest. Downloading a new skin. I'm back with the club. Want to play co-op? Got a mission to do. Tuck it up. Fire in the... When you're gaming and caning the broadband, Wi-Fi 7 on EE makes every device work better, even yours. Go, go, go. We're moving. Upgrade to Wi-Fi 7 on EE and we'll sort the switch for you. 43.7% UK availability. Smart Hub Pro and Smart Wi-Fi Pro available with selected EE full fiber plans. Terms apply.