In this podcast, now in its fourth year, therapists Stella O'Malley and Sasha Ayad take a deep dive into the psychological and cultural forces impacting the social changes around "gender." Through interviews with researchers, doctors, therapists, parents, detransitioners, and others, Sasha and Stella's podcast is a "must listen" for anyone trying to navigate the current gender landscape. With their sharp analytical minds and deep compassionate hearts, Stella and Sasha have also become known throughout many parent networks as lighthouses in the midst of some very stormy seas. Previous guests include Helen Joyce, Jesse Singal, Leor Sapir, Kathleen Stock, Jamie Reed, Peter Boghossian and more.
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“Lauren” is a 32-year-old lesbian who has moved with ease across the gender spectrum over the course of her lifetime. Lauren offers a positive story about how being gender non-normative and having a complicated gender experience can be a pleasant and interesting experience. Cautioning against the heavy and urgent discussions about medicalizing gender expression, Lauren wonders if we can become more playful and even joyful about gender? Links: Lauren’s Blog: Theanxiousskeptic.wordpress.com/ Exten...
Continuing the discussion about the new type of boy who is seeking to transition, we speak to Angus Fox, author of a series in Quillette. Angus explains why he thought it so important to earn the trust of parents who participate in clandestine meetings about their gender dysphoric sons. We discuss the role of systematic thinking in ROGD boys and the encouragement of their female friends to transition. Angus also provides his insights as a gay man remembering his own challenging boyhood. Links: A...
Many presume that ROGD only impacts girls, but there is a significant number of boys who appear to show the hallmark traits of Rapid-Onset Gender Dysphoria. Not quite fitting in with Ray Blanchard’s classification of homosexual transsexualism or autogynephilia, these boys tend to be softly spoken Mommy’s boys, highly intelligent and hyper-ruminative. Many prefer to remain safe at home in their bedrooms and become fixated on medical transition. In this first of two episodes, Stella and Sasha intr...
Hyper-active, inattentive, immature, and impulsivity are just some of the common traits associated with ADHD. These may not have an obvious link to Gender Dysphoria and yet gender variance is found to be 6.64 times more likely among individuals with ADHD. We discuss how ADHD manifests in girls and boys, how society responds to ADHD traits, and how this interaction can lead to gender-related issues. Links: ADHD and Gender Dysphoria Sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/03/140312103102.htm Girls and ADHD...
This last year of lockdown has been a strange and unsettling time for many. We have heard reports of gender issues escalating rapidly and we have also heard accounts of people leaving all thoughts of gender identity far behind. The impact of our restricted lifestyle on our mental health is explored and some strategies that might help in these difficult times are suggested. Stella and Sasha give listeners from around the globe shout-outs and audience members are invited to request future show top...
Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley delve into the striking connection between autism and gender dysphoria, noting the high prevalence of autistic traits in gender-questioning teens. They discuss how the male-centric definition of autism often leads to missed diagnoses in girls, the role of black-and-white thinking and a preference for labels in shaping identity, and the potential impact of technology on social deficits. The hosts also explore how sensory sensitivities and intense emotions can contribute to body discomfort, and the complexities of seeking an autism assessment when gender identity is a primary concern.
This episode delves into the profound struggles of parents whose children are exploring gender identity, highlighting their feelings of isolation, betrayal by professionals, and immense guilt. It contrasts experiences of early gender non-conformity with rapid-onset dysphoria, exposing how gender clinics can use fear tactics and present puberty blockers deceptively. The hosts emphasize the societal pressure on parents to conform to certain narratives, the battle over names and pronouns, and the urgent need for non-affirming support amidst a politically charged environment.
Carol is a 40-year-old detransitioned butch lesbian. She transitioned at 34 and is part of an often ignored group: adult lesbians turned trans men. Carol tells us about the initial highs of transition and how things took a turn for the worse… Links: Velvet Chronicle Interview Detrans Voices Carol’s Twitter Detrans Voices Interviews “Where Have all the Lesbians Gone?” “Butch identity development: The formation of an authentic gender” “The He Hormone” Extended Notes Where is the space for de-trans...
Sasha and Stella discuss gender dysphoria as a form of human distress, exploring various non-medical approaches to management. They emphasize addressing underlying emotional needs, improving digital hygiene, developing body awareness, and cultivating self-awareness to cope with and reduce dysphoria. The hosts also delve into the influence of societal pressures and the "burden of privilege" on adolescent identity and mental well-being.
Gifted and exceptional children seem more inclined to gender nonconformity and they represent a significant proportion of the ROGD teens discussed in Dr. Littman’s research. Sasha and Stella explore why there may be a link between brilliance and transgender identity. Links: “Overexcitability and the Gifted”, by Sharon Lind “Where Overexcitability and Gender Dysphoria Meet,” by Jessie Mannisto “Gender Identity and Overexcitability Profiles of Gifted College Students” Researchgate (2009) “Gender D...
The psychologist Erik Erickson’s theory of psychosocial development makes some essential observations about the period of adolescence and identifies the questions at this phase of life as “Who Am I?” and “What can I Be?”. Sasha and Stella examine this developmental period and ask how the concept of gender identity lays atop the teenage struggle for belonging, individuation, sexual development, and autonomy. Links: The Adolescent Psyche: Jungian and Winnicottian Perspectives, by Richard Frankel U...
Therapist Timothy Courtois pursued graduate education to deepen his knowledge of the role sexuality and intimacy play in our lives. He quickly came to feel that this program was using some of the same tactics of moralizing and indoctrination that he’d left behind after leaving a controlling religious community. We discuss the program's mixed-up understanding of sexuality, consent, and power dynamics in relationships. We set the stage for future conversations about a richer psychological and embo...
Few people are aware of how much the political discussion around gender and sexuality has been touched by queer theory. This philosophy questions how we know what we know and turns hierarchies on their heads. Sasha and Stella explore the “smashing of binaries” in their therapeutic work and personal lives and discuss the positive and negative outcomes of taking queer theory thinking to its limits. Links: Butler, Judith (2007). Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. Routledge. Ja...
How and when did gender become such a heightened political issue? And what are the psychological implications for individuals and the collective? The origins of feminism, the LBG liberation movement, and the emerging transgender movement are explored within a psychological and cultural framework Links: Books Beauvoir, Simone de (2009) [1949]. The Second Sex . Trans. Constance Borde and Sheila Malovany-Chevallier. Random House. Simone de Beauvoir wrote that "the first time we see a woman take up ...
Buck Angel transitioned in 1994 and now lives happily as a 58-year-old transsexual man. Buck describes his rollercoaster with gender dysphoria and explains why he was willing to become a medical guinea pig when he first transitioned. Buck talks about the importance of owning his sexuality within a transsexual body and he also provides a critique of the modern flavor of the transgender movement. Links: Buckangel.com Twitter: @BuckAngel Facebook: Facebook.com/officialbuckangel Instagram: Instagram...
In therapy, collusion happens when the therapist (consciously or unconsciously) participates in a client’s bid to avoid an important issue instead of helping the client to gain a deeper understanding or take a more helpful perspective. In the collective, society has colluded with the fantasy of gender identity, much to the detriment of dysphoric and transgender people themselves. Sasha and Stella discuss what factors contribute to this kind of collusion and how individuals have the power to stee...
Quick Notes A whistle-stop tour through the history of psychological and medical approaches to sex and gender in the 20th century. This episode gives background and context to the formation of WPATH (World Professional Association for Transgender Health) and today’s “affirmative model of care” for gender issues. Extended Notes A little bit of history about gender transitions over the decades. The medical and psychological theories behind gender transition have always been controversial. Why woul...
Quick Notes Endocrinologist Will Malone joins Sasha and Stella to discuss the pivotal position that endocrinologists have in the new practice of childhood transition. In this conversation, Will describes attending a conference in 2017 run by the Endocrine Society where suddenly everything related to trans healthcare appeared to shift, without any discussion or analysis. Extended Notes ● A quick introduction about Dr. Will Malone. ● How did Dr. Will get involved in this field? ● Dr. Will was seei...
Quick Notes: Why do people seek to change genders? What drives a person to curate a brand new identity? In this episode, Sasha and Stella look beyond a literal understanding of transitioning and explore the psychological power and vulnerability of attempting transformation. Links: Hacsi Horvath on Erin Brewer Queer in the Crib Gender Dysphoria is not One Thing Extended Notes: Why do people want to transition? Let’s clear up some misconceptions today about trans people. Why do little chi...
Quick Notes: Arty Morty* found it very difficult to grow up as a feminine boy amongst his peers. In this episode he explains how difficulties in his social and family life shaped his identity development. Ultimately, he came to accept himself as a gay man and he touches upon the new concept of gender identity and how it might have impacted his identity had he been a teen today. *Arty Morty is a pseudonym Links: Arty Morty on Twitter Arty Morty on YouTube Rupert Everett on Childhood Dysphoria The...
Sasha and Stella delve into the two primary perspectives on gender: gender identity as an innate sense versus gender dysphoria as a mental health condition. They explore the implications and challenges of each view, touching on concepts like fluidity, the role of medical intervention, and the impact of societal expectations. The hosts critically examine the attraction of gender identity theory and the evolving diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria, highlighting the complexities for individuals and professionals alike.
Hosts Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley delve into Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria (ROGD), a new phenomenon where adolescents suddenly question their gender without prior indications. They discuss Dr. Lisa Littman's research, the concept of a "symptom pool" in which cultural narratives influence the expression of distress, and the significant impact on families. The episode also draws parallels to eating disorders and examines the role of online communities in shaping identity and fostering division.
Two therapists discuss the concepts of gender, identity, and transition from a psychological depth perspective. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com
