It's a Kiki with Johnny Make G gonna spill all the tea, all my LGBTS. You're in love because Johnny McGovern is gay as fuck. Hello, everyone. And welcome to Gay as fuck. I am Mr. Jonty Mcgoverness. He who is. Well, baby, the summertime is over. It's supposed to be fall. But here in Los Angeles it is still hot as Thank you, choir. Thank you. Yes, it's still hot as luck.
So as I am recording this, there is a light dew that is appearing upon me. And now that I'm doing it on video, honey, we've got to worry about the dew. What you got to zoo? The zoo. Actually, you know what? Where this is gay as fuck. So let's set the mood that I need to set. OK, we're going to give a little spritz of. Now this is spritz from my past. OK, you can. If you're watching the video, you can see this is my Donna Karen DKNY Fuel. OK, I bought it on eBay.
Honey is one of the best men's fragrances ever, and you can hardly ever fucking find it. I found it. And then of course, let me spritz a little of this. This is the latest fragrance that I've gotten from Terry Moogler. They're doing a new Angel for men. Amen. It's called Phantasm Fun Possum. I mean it. You know what it smells like, and that's what kind of you know. That's the essence I need to pull for this show. And then what else do we need?
We need something really gay. How about Mountain Dew 0 sugar Baa blast? Only gay faggotatious care about having a 0 sugar Baja blast, but look at how beautiful the color is. Where were the chemicals? So lovely. No sip of this dying girl. Now I'm extra gay, I'm extra game. This is not sponsored everyone. I'm just trying to get in the mood. OK, you know what can easily get
me in the mood these days? Currently it's a little number from some gals that I met just merely a week ago, but who I am very interested in currently. Baby, I am totally obsessed with this new kind of girl group. They are made-up by the Koreans and I really love how cutie all their faces are. I watched the show on Netflix and I said Oh my God this is horrible. But then I was hooked every single episode I watched and now I'm really crazy for them.
Girl, I got in. I got into Pop Star Academy on Netflix. I got to do the dance correctly. You do a thumb, thumb, thumb, thumb, thumb, thumb. Maybe I got into the Netflix documentary documentary propaganda machine for Cat's Eye. OK, it's you know, it takes all the meanest, hardest parts of Danity Kane making the band with a touch of the next Pussycat
Dolls with Edens crush. But with the power of the K pop machine behind it and honey, they were out to search the world to find the new K pop style group. I don't know they were even casting from everywhere. And so the girls had to get in formation. They were working these girls, honey and they some of them were
in the program for two years. And then it turns out they had to battle it out on reality competition show, all to try to get one step closer to being in the girl group, which would eventually be called Cat's Eye and Baby. They worked them hard. And honey, the Korean K pop overlords, they were not mincing any words. They were like, she has no light in her eyes. She's out. I mean, this show has
everything. Cutesy moves, girls working super hard, everybody being the same height, beautiful hair, faggots going oh chop doobie doob SAP did, sensitive lady backup dancers who were used to work for Britney Spears, crying for the girls, the nice vocal coach, the mean scary chairman from Korea, crazy fans. I mean it had it all and I was
hooked. Then honey, I started to get into the product, the product that they put out that they named the girl group Cat's Eye and they put out the product and baby they, I mean, they got me. I mean, they've got me with the cutesy moves. They got me with the, I mean they've been practicing these moves for several years than better be cutesy. I mean, they're not fucking
around. Now, if you want to hear me talk way more about Cat's Eye and my all my thoughts on the show, then you're going to want to go over to Patreon where I did a fucking cat's eye cuties deep dive. God, it's it's really fun, very enjoyable, and in fact, what I would think here's what I want to do K pop overlords as well as Geffen records. Listen to me when I say this. The next K pop style group we need to create is Demon Twink.
OK it's all gay twinks of different types from around the world but they're all cute, they're all sexy, they're drug free and they love to take loads. OK? Their songs are all super gay but done real cutesy, just like Cat's Eye. OK Iced Coffee is their first single. I mean Internet, we can do this. I'm sure I don't have to come up with all the song titles myself. In the comments below, write all the song titles we're going to need on the K Pop style Demon
Twink album. Can you imagine the visuals? All the twinks? I mean, the twinks of the world are ready for this opportunity to be K pop stars. Anyone, anyone. Demon Twink, the album coming soon. If Troy Sivan can be doing like the Dick Microphone concert performances, so can my pop group. Demon Twink. They're going to kill it. We've been working really hard and you haven't been showing up for rehearsal. It seems like you're more busy being on Grinder than you are
working hard. Dance. OK, I mean, this week incredible. All right, well, I'm putting that out there for the universe. OK, Demon twink, the K pop style boy band go Internet. Write the single titles on the album title and the tour title in the comments below. All right, well, look, we got some good shit going on today. I need a sip of Mountain Dew 0 Baja Blast not sponsored to judge me up for this. How about a spritz a farm thousand? Oh, yes, yes, baby. There's shade alert.
There's a national shade emergency shade. Yes, thank you, choir. Thank you, baby. Arno Wintour announced Naomi Campbell and was a little shady. And when Naomi Campbell came up, she was very shady back. This is the most delightful bit of shade. I mean, it's made my whole day. It's made it's made my week, in fact. So, baby, above everything else, let's get into it. Get into it, into it, get into it, get into it, OK. I mean, OK, cat size. Just giving it to me. Cat's Eye, this is not your
time. I know you sound great, but this is the time for me to talk about the shade of the central bridge. This is just a delight. OK, just a delight. So Naomi Campbell was at the at Harlem Fashion Rose Legends Gala, OK, because it's Fashion Week in New York currently, and Anna Wintour was there to introduce her. And I believe perhaps Naomi was late. OK. And now Anna, who's notoriously a rotted concert but noted that, I mean, let's watch the little
clip. First you hear Anna Wintour and then you the cuts right to Naomi Campbell. I mean, they're giving you just the good parts. I am. A very cultural person and I have the honor of presenting tonight to someone who is often late, so has agreed to step in for me because unfortunately I I have to leave after I've said everything that I would like to say. Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen. Yes, but I believe in my higher power and I want to thank my higher power for having me be here because it's so important that I'm here today. But I want to say this, everything went to workout. The man went to workout. It wasn't my choice to have the other lady. It was. It wasn't my choice to have the other lady.
OK, so let's break it down now. Anna was presenting the Legend, Fashion Legend and Living Icon Award or something like that of the Fashion Icon Award to Naomi Campbell. Now Anna was saying she was going to have to leave. That's because she has to get to tennis because we know Anna Wintour is just Sheila. If you ever, if you ever are stuck somewhere with Anna Wintour, talk about tennis. And if you don't know, pretend say, wasn't Raja fabulous?
I mean, she loves to talk tennis, so we know this now. She was planning to leave early, so she had to intro Naomi and get the fuck out because she got to see Roger or whoever the fuck is playing at Wimbledon or whatever the fuck's going on right now. And she said I'm a very punctual person and I have the honour of presenting tonight to someone who is often late. And she then later says I'll have to give this over to somebody else who was there because I've got a previous engagement.
And then when Naomi came up, she said it's so important that I'm here today and I'm honored to be in here in Harlem. Everything's going to work out the way it is going to work out. It wasn't my choice to have the other lady. I'm much happier with this lady right there. I mean, first of all, the shade of Anna mature. Just have it like bringing up lateness when you're going to honour Naomi Campbell. I know she thinks she's being cute, but probably inappropriate.
And honey, leaving the Harlem Fashion Row Legends ball to go see Roger. Whoever played tennis screams white privilege. But you know, look, it's her. It's her prerogative to do whatever she wants. And it was Naomi's prerogative to read her for filth. I mean, what do you how do you think this shakes out at Vogue? I mean, do they then say we're not, we're not using Naomi this month or whatever ever again? She banned, banned, banned.
Or does Anna Matur just be like, girl please, I've got to play tennis with Pracha, she doesn't care. Does she pop herself a Mountain Dew 0 sugar and just go bitch please. How much longer do we think Anna Wintour is going to last at the top of Vogue? Anna Wintour age. I think she is pushing, pushing it in the 70s, right? 74 years. I mean, she looks great for 74, but I mean, there's probably only, I mean, what's she going to keep doing Vogue into her 80s? Doesn't she ever want to relax?
So Naomi's like, whatever, bitch, whatever, bitch. I would not have that other lady who didn't even fucking want to stay to watch me get honored. Hey Internet, that's what she should have said at the end. Like, hey Internet, I know you're watching. Tell Anna I said suck a Dick bitch. To be honest, I can watch Anna
Wintour content all day long. I can watch documentaries about Anna Wintour. I can watch documentaries pretending or like the movies and content pretending to be about Anna Wintour like double earth Prada. I can watch all the Vogue videos, ask, go ask Anna 73 questions with Anna, we don't care about everybody. The September issue, I can watch that 100 times. If you ever saw there was a series which I have recently tried to find it and you cannot, it's the fashion fund.
It was on like Ovation TV or something, like in the arts, and it was fucking great. It was deep in vogue. It was the CFDA Awards nominating process. You know, every year, like 10 designers or something get nominated for the CFDA Awards where they can win like a huge cash prize for the top couple, get big cash prizes, but most importantly, a mentorship with all the famous people at the CFDA who can put all the deals together and whatever. And so it was a full on reality show about that.
And I don't know what of course was in his sunglasses. The real stars of that were the girls from the stressed out producers from Vogue and the fear in their eyes. That's what was great. But new age Vogue has made on a like way they've they've had to make her accessible because of the Internet and I live and I also live when you get cheated by Naomi Campbell. I love it. Actually, even like I don't went towards garden. If I was rich, like I don't want tour, I would have a garden like
on a tour. She did like a big bushy, overgrown yet perfectly manicured garden. Honey, they didn't photograph that for 20 years till it was fairly full. And that's kind, you know that Anna Mature got the money to buy her big estate in Connecticut or wherever from a no interest loan from Conde Nast as well as I believe she got her no interest loan when she wanted to buy her multi level Brooklyn or Manhattan brownstone. So it pays to work for Condo Nast.
OK, that was great. I mean, the show's over, show's done. That was the best story. That's the best story we'll have all day. Oh, and other fashion news that I think is interesting. You know, they fired the head designer of or they let her go. The head designer of Chanel, which was Virginie Smith, I think was her name. She was Karl Lagerfeld, second lady in command for many, many years until he died. And then when he died, she took over.
Now while the brand has is still making money plus the maybe they increased the prices on Chanel bags like thousands of dollars like just one of those regular double C quilted bags. Baby you are looking at 8 to 10,000 plus if you want something bigger. I mean, the nerve. Anyway, they're still making money, but they needed someone hot. So this and this lady was doing fine. I'm not a lady. I don't buy Chanel clothes. But it was nothing exciting.
Like Karl Lagerfeld, who gave us the supermarket, the rocket ship, the the beach with the waves of the giant buildings, what else? The airport. I mean, the Karl Lagerfeld years were chef's kiss, but maybe that's because I'm not a woman who buys clothes. I'm just a faggot who loves faggoty shit. But this bodes well because Virginie is gone and they're thinking about who they're going to bring in. And the gossip has been everywhere. Who will get it, who will get it, who will get it.
Now, me and some of my fashion insider friends, Marlon, I'm looking at you, have been talking about who we thought it could be. And one of the people was Tom Brown. Because when Karl Lagerfeld died, all these designers did these big tributes to Karl Lagerfeld and Tom Brown did these oversized couture giant Chanel inspired coats. It was during the Karl Lagerfeld Met Gala. That's what it was. But they also filmed it for Vogue.
He created these looks that were Chanel inspired but like were in the Tom Brown world. And I thought he would be good to do Chanel. But it turns out the most likely supposed candidate is young, sexy Jacques Moose. Now, Jacques Moose, if you don't know, he's the one who makes that time that a purse, OK. But also, he's had a very successful brand launch. He's young. He's had. He hangs out with the girls from House of Avalon. OK. He's hanging out with Simone and Gigi at the fashion show.
I bet he's doing a little Charli XEXI. Remember that in the bathroom. In fact, there's video footage of perhaps that happening, allegedly. And But anyway, he's young, he's hip, he's hot, he's sexy. And supposedly he is the pick to. He's supposedly giving a presentation too old. What's his name? Who owns Chanel? Chanel's not part of LVMH. It's its own thing. I think there's some, you know, there's one family that owns it. So what do you think? Do you think Jacques Mousse is
going to take over Chanel? Chanel she smells. Never forgot Tammy Brown's nickname for Chanel the Drag Queen is She smells. Not because of her scent, just because Tammy Brown likes to make up weird names. Well, that has been faggoty fashion news. Do we care who the new Dancing with the Stars cast is? Well, I don't know. I'm revealing them to me and you at the exact same time. And we will ask the question, do we care? OK #1 We've got Tori spelling.
OK, Do we care? It's not a reason to watch, but we're happy Tori has work because we know her cold, cold mother Candy Spelling is still not giving her any of the money. So do we care? No, but best wish? Best to wish Anna Delphy. Edda Delvy is still under house arrest I believe, but somehow she has gotten the permission from the judge or whomever to wear her in in In her promo photo she has the anklet on and you know for sure they are going to bedazzle the shit out of that anklet.
OK, so do we care about her? I mean, she is. People say she's an artist, a fashion icon, an infamous New York City socialite, fashion icon. Honey, she's a hustler who lied to many, many people. But I guess in 2024, that's a fashion icon and an artist. Well, her art was very interesting. Do we care? I mean, I would dip in real quick just to see what's what. Danny Amendola. I do not know who Danny Amendola is at all.
Former NSL wide receiver Unless he is wide receiving from his his trusted quarterback Tom Brady nude with his legs in the air, then I'm not interested. But you know what? Let me take it back because he's going to look hot in tight pants showing that football ass. So OK, do we care? A teeny touch. Joey Grazadier. I don't even know how I'm pronouncing that name. Oh, he's a season 28 bachelor. No. Do we care? No, we do not. Dwight Howard. NBA. Do we care? No, we do not.
Chandler Kinney. Do we care? She's from Pretty Little Liars. No, we do not. Ilona Meyer, Team USA Rugby lady. Do we care? Yes, because watch out for the big girls. I mean, honey, come through with the dancing. This big muscley lady. OK, Yes. Do we care? Yes. We'll take it. Brooks Nader. Who the Where are we getting these? I haven't. Where are the stars? Where is the beauty, As Andre Leontali would say? Where are the stars? Where all the stars? Who is Brooks Nader? And what? How?
How? Why am I supposed to know her? She's a Sports Illustrated swimsuit lady. OK, now here we go. Here we go. Steven Nadorzik. Now, I don't know if I'm pronouncing his last name right, but you know who he is. Yes, you do. He is the sexy nerd, pummel horse Olympian. OK, the pummel horse guy. He's the guy who own his only sport is the pummel horse. He looks like a sexy nerd, but you know, that body is blight. And yeah, it was his performance that helped the fellas win
bronze. And baby, he is going to be here. Do we care? Yes. Especially if we think we can get some shirtless dancing out of him. I want a sex endured. Yes, yes, singing Johnny McGovern of the past. Whoa. Eric Roberts. Do we care for wig technology? Definitely. I look at this picture right here and I say wig, but a very lovely fluffy wig. A very natural wig. I mean, just for the wig technology, yes. Julia Roberts, brother and movie star in his own right, Eric Roberts.
OK, and of course, Emma Roberts, father. OK, here we go. Did you hear that? That was a gay gasp. Kathy Griffin. That was a gay gasp. Phaedra Parks celebrate good times. Come on. Not only is Phaedra returning to the Beverly Hills, I mean, not Beverly Hills to the Real Housewives of Atlanta as a friend. Just because of all the horrible lies and accusations she made doesn't mean we can't love her. She's a big hit from the traitors and now she's honey,
she's reaping the benefits. She's on Dancing With the Stars. I think she's going to do well. She's little, she's got a great body, she's very athletic and she's very competitive. Now, you know, Phaedra's her best when she's making funny lines and saying things. So I don't know if Dancing is going to. I bet she's going to be good. I'll be happy. Will I? Will I dip in for this? Yes. Wow. Here's some stars. Reginald Val Johnson. OK, from Family Matters.
The dad from Family Matters. Do we care? No. But he was in Die Hard, 1:00 and 2:00. So we have a special place in our heart for him. Do we want to watch him do the dance? No. But do we wish him the best? We do. OK. I've got to say, in general, do we care? No, but will we dip in briefly at some point or watch the clips on social? Yes. Yes for a minute. Hot minute. Especially when old pummel horse is on. Pummel horse is the real reason for the season. Yeah, yeah.
Pummel horse. Fuck yeah. Tight little sweet pummel horsing body. Give it to me. Jennifer Hudson got a record deal again. I mean, say it again. Does anyone watch the Jennifer Hudson show? Look, it's a show that has R&B stars that I love on it. I mean, if I can watch Layla Hathaway on a daytime afternoon mainstream talk show, do that double note that she does and sing in her beautiful, luxurious tones, then baby, I will be there to watch that 1,000,000% And that's the Jennifer Hudson
show. I mean, that's what we got on there was to Jennifer. We got, we got Layla Hathaway, we got other R&B stars. Is Jennifer Hudson the greatest host? But I like how pretty this that is. There's a lot of singing. And Speaking of singing, that's the most important thing 'cause Jennifer Hot Hudson got another record deal. Now, I always thought that Jennifer Hudson was like very underrated when it came to the music.
Like she never really even had hits other than, look, we know she did Dream Girls and she knocked it out of the park. She won an Oscar, she won, she won. She got it for that. But the album that came later, though, I enjoyed it and it had to make me hit you with my pocketbook, which I enjoyed as well as you know. Well, here's here's some of the problems. A lot of her best songs were written by R Kelly.
So there because where you went, I forget how where you at goes, but where you went, which where you at starred the star of the dignitized video as her love interest. He was my love interest and dignitized and her love interest and where you at? That was Mr. Miles Davis Moody, the handsome and beautiful, but she's never really had a lot of of smash heads. She she had a song on the she had a song on the Sex on the City 2 soundtrack, I think.
But look, she never had a huge smash heads and they had all everybody producing on their album. They gave her all the service. Pharrell, Timbaland, R Kelly. I'm sure there were other ones that they tried and it just didn't quite take. But now they're giving it again. This talk shows a hit capital. Interscope has signed her. She's a Tour de force and we're thrilled she's chosen to the next phase of her career at Interscope. OK, Jennifer, get it. Get it now.
Someone in the comments said masters. Did you get your masters? That's a good question to know for every artist these days. You know, Anita Baker didn't even own her own masters. I think she did get them back. But where your masters at? It's the master recordings of your music. Lady Gaga's back out on the weird outfit trail, and this is where she belongs. OK, when Lady Gaga's wearing weird hats and being kooky on the red carpet, all is right in the world.
And Lady Gaga is currently looking weird in Philip Tracy on the red carpet at the Venice Film Festival. OK, she's. I mean, look at that. Look at her. OK, All right. Hat and she's there with her fiance who is kind of like a thick man I kind of like this is good for the big boys. You know what I mean? Lady Gaga's loving a man with a very handsome man with a little something extra just like some of us that we know right in front of you right now. Uh huh. Oh yeah.
But he gives it to her real good on there. He looks handsome as they. She's wearing some kind of big oak couture gown. Is it Diol? Is it Diol? Oh, and she's giving off duty. Looks very beautiful, too. I like This is good. Oh, she's wearing a beret. I mean, when you're at the Venice Film Festival, of course, you arrive in a boat. You arrive in a boat with your weird hat. Is your weird hat in the boat? Girl, we've got to go. The boats leaving. All right, well, I've just got
to get my weird hat. Girl, if you didn't get your weird hat now, you're never going to have time to get it. I'm Lady Gaga. I'm not going anywhere without my weird hat. OK, What about me? I want to go too. I wear a weird hat. Madonna, this is not for you. Madonna. I'm too young. I'm young. Madonna. Junior. I'm a young girl. Not like Lady Gaga, that old lady. Not like me. Young and youthful. Choo, Choo. I've got to go. Bump it.
Are you? Bump it that I've got to go sing my new record, 360. Oh, you're bumping that. That's right. I'm Brat. It's me, Madonna. I invented brat. I invented brat before even Brat was a brat. Are you Bubba dot? Haha, gotta go. Thanks, Madonna. And last but not least, you know what? I saw this tweet going around this week from I believe. Who is the person that
originally tweeted it? Someone named Alexandro at Kid in the City and they tweeted gay bars need to start playing gay porn at bars again so that straight people stop going to them. Slow clap the standing ovation. Yes straight people. Look, if you want to hang with the coolest you can. You need to be able to hang with the dongs and the whole videos right above your head. I'm talking brutal man on man lovemaking on 50 screens. And if you can handle that, then you can hang.
But if you can't hit the road, hit the road. Well everyone, I hope you enjoyed the show today. I actually had fun. You know what I think it might have been the Mountain Dew 0 show gun not sponsored. Look, my new music is dropping very soon. The first single is coming out in weeks. I'm editing it like crazy so and I'll I'll probably debut it here so you can hear it first, and let me tell you this shit is
hot. I it's so sizzling hot that I may have to put the uncensored version on Patreon and the censored versions on social because I keep getting dinged by Instagram. Go on my Instagram and look at
the post that I did. It was a clip from this podcast where I was talking about Jules Boyer looking like he stuffed a ham sandwich in his Speedo. Now the visual was nothing except pictures that it were I already took from Instagram of joy Jules Boyer in his Speedo not not even touching his Dick but because I said it, he looks like he was stuffed a ham sandwich down there. It was ruled by Instagram as
having sexual activity. Are words sexual activity, Instagram, Meta. So now I'm concerned that all these sexy video clips that I have for this new song Bussy is going to get me. I'm going to have to start a dummy account and then collab with the dummy account so that I because I can't lose all my followers. And if I do, it's going to be rough because you know, in today, in today's moment, trying to build back up.
I'm at 70,000 which is not even a lot for this long career but I don't want to hold on to every single one. I don't want to get bumped. I want to be like only fans person who's at like 100,000 and has to start over again. I mean could you just because I said his crotch looked like he stuffed a ham sandwich down there.
I see people's literal assholes and straight guys baiting with dildos where they're trying to make it look like that's their hard Dick. And my words saying someone looked like they had a fucking ham sandwich in their Speedo got me removed for sexual activity. Mama girl. Miss Meta. I'd say if any listeners work at Meta, let me know, but probably not, But let me know. All right? Everybody look, do what our robot overlords tell you to do, which is to please rate this
podcast 5 stars. It really helps to have people come to the show. Does it help? I don't know. But does it make me personally feel good when I read it? Yes. And isn't that worth a few moments? DK Fuel. DK Fuel. Yes, it is. And if look, you want to really have fun, you want to watch this on video. I mean, we're having fun today. Then you can go over to Patreon where I talk about Cat's Eye, where I am doing. We did a whole show on what is Butch on Menergy.
We did a deep dive into the faggoty history of Palm Springs and all the gay and dirty shit that be going on. They are look, it's hundreds of episodes and you can join for just $5.00 a month to start. So get in, OK. And you know, last week I shouted out my luxury diamond level patrons on Patreon. And look, it inspired another one of my patrons to level up. OK, Chris lie. Yep, honey, thank you. You leveled up, he said. I've been listening for so many years, and they all bring me so
much joy. So I had to step it up, sweetie, thank you, thank you. I mean, look, I really, really, really appreciate that kind of love. And look, you don't look if you are only semi rich and you want to support me, OK, But you want to go big, OK. You want to join the $50 tier, but you just want to do it for one month, that's fine. We had a lovely person who made lots of comments in Clayton Hollingsworth.
They came in, they got the $50 membership, they made lots of nice comments and you know, then they went back to a lower level and that's OK too. That shows me your love and I appreciate the love. So Chris, thank you. Also shout out to Sasha Fleek for giving me the inspo for getting Angel. Amen, Phantasm Phantasm. Get in and get a good and I'll see you on the next episode of Gay as Fuck. See, if you were a video subscriber, you'd see me giving the classic one hand on the the
chin pose. Bye baby.