My Husband's NOT Gay! - podcast episode cover

My Husband's NOT Gay!

Aug 31, 202448 min
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Episode description

Jonny jumps into the Time Machine to get into the outrageous, Mormon madness that is the recently unearthed by TikTok reality TV show “My Husband‘s NOT Gay” and biiiiitch the shit is WILD ! PLUS: Britney on Blake Lively ! WTF is Tyra trying to sell us SMIZE ice cream? Madonna visits to tell us about her young young young man! Jocelyn Wildenstein’s original face! The latest tabloid lies and much much more!

To watch a video version of the show and get up to three podcasts a week- support Jonny byjoining his delightful and fun Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/gayestofalltime

Watch a new Hey Qween! special episode on YouTube out now with the House of Miyake Mugler from WOW'S new hit series “House On Fire” https://youtu.be/r4o3aZgKi54?si=ekArTQty12KyTBl7

Transcript

Hey y'all, it's Johnny. Guess what? There is a new episode of Hey Queen out now on Wow Presents Plus YouTube channel. It's one of my live episodes from Drag Con where they built the entire Hey Queen set. They're right on the floor with a live audience and I'm interviewing the entire House of Miyaki Mugler from the new Wow Presents Plus series House on Fire.

I watched all the episodes and baby, if you like Ballroom, if you like drums, if you like serving it cuts you like looks, if you like all that, you will love House on Fire. And I had so much fun chatting with them. Watch it now on the Wild Presents Plus YouTube channel. All my LGBTS. You're in love cause Johnny

McGovern is gay as fuck. Hello everyone and welcome to Gay as Fuck. I am Mr. John T Mcgoverness Heath who is now Baby. Look, if you are one of my Patreon members, you will be able to see this weeks episode on video. I mean to be honest, it's horrifying for me have to even think about what I look like while I'm doing this podcast. But baby, we in the era where one has to do what one has to do.

So I'm doing it. And for now, I'll be sharing clips of this show on social, on video, as well as the unedited full motherfucking thing on Patreon, so you can always get that at patreon.com/gayest of All time. OK, I'm coming to you actually from my home studio. Yes, all my matching JCRT Plaid shirts and jackets are in the closet, honey. I got a faggots parade of fancy bags and Hervez boxes and all the rest.

And then all my camera, my equipment and everything so, well, all the people are seeing, if you're watching this now, it's just the wall, which is a beautiful witted wooded wallpaper. I live a woodland fantasy. It's sort of like my little disco cabin in West Hollywood is the look I'm going for. Anyway, welcome to the show, baby. Summer is fucking done. Labor Day is just around the corner. Days from now and then we'll be in fall.

And you know what, that makes me happy 'cause I think of fall, I think of cool breezes, I think of snuggly sweatshirts. I mean, to be honest, I have my fall look. My fall outfit I've had for about 6 months last fall. OK, last fall I just watched that Balenciaga show in Hollywood. Everyone was wearing slouchy sweatshirts, slouchy flared kind of sweatpants and those giant 10XL sneakers. They just look like they were slouching around LA, going to the gym, going to whatever.

And I said, you know what? That is the life I want to live. I want to slouch around in a Kunti Balenciaga hoodie with nothing on the front. OK, It says Balenciaga, but it's spreads out by a piece of tape. You know, one of those from the mud collection. And then a pair of very slouchy sweatpants, the giant shoes. It's quiet luxury, but it's obnoxiously quiet. You know what I mean? But I've been dying to wear this outfit since then.

I pieced it together from sources and honey, I found it and it has been sitting in my closet staring at me, waiting for the time for it to be cool enough for me to wear this motherfucking hoodie and all the rest. But The thing is, LA September and even October is just a trick. OK, if you live in on the West Coast and especially in California, you think September means cool breezes and, and cuddling up and, you know, hot pumpkin spice lattes and whatever.

Now they're still selling, they're selling the pumpkin spice and everything else around here. They're they're putting up orange leaves to try to sell us fall items. But it's not going to get cool here for at least till October. I mean, sometimes it's hot up until Halloween, and it's only on Halloween when the spooky mist rolls in and a cold wind blows. And that is when I'm living my best life.

And you can be sure you will find me slouching around in my Valenciaga hoodie, my giant sneakers, walking my dog Cha Cha, and living my best life when that time comes. Now, before we do anything else, I want to take a minute. You know I'm always plugging the motherfucking Patreon. And why not? That's what pays the bill, sweetie. I want to take a minute to recognize the people who are on my Patreon who are on something I call the diamond luxury level. OK, which is parentheses.

You are rich. They're the cornerstone, honey, of the Patreon. But I want to shout them out. Want to shout out Armor M Tanasha Lawcock. Sweetie honey one of my longest time listeners. Chakra Khan, thank you, thank you Sheila Richie Brown Love you Sunny Parea, been with me since the beginning honey, I still have the she RA doll he gave me in Austin, TX in my kitchen. Chad Horton always there, always listening. Love you Jesse Ward, how long have we been doing this

together? God bless you and the lovely Lance Hunter and I appreciate it a fucking lot. Are you rich? Would you like to support me or are you just not rich like me? You can still join the Patreon. You can get a bunch of different levels. When you get one podcast a week, when you get 2 podcasts a week, Once you get 3 podcasts, I mean, it's, it's fun. I mean, we can say we have fun. And Speaking of fun, that's what we are going to have today, honey.

We're going to be looking at all the covers of the latest tabloids because you know what? I was at the supermarket and I, I saw all the tabloids jumping out at me. OK, the truth about Blake. Barack and Michelle separate bedrooms. Jennifer's heartbreak, dumped after six years, and that's all Ben's fault. From heartache to happiness. The Sandra Lee story. I mean, all these baby, if I wanted to buy those now from the supermarket, you know, they used to be $0.99.

They're now like $7.00 each, which is motherfucking wild. How am I supposed to, like, read every single one, including life and style? Ben humiliates Jlo again. Now it's war or or even stupid Kate's magnificent royal return coming to America. If you wanted to buy all the tabloids it would cost you like 60 or $70.00. But I have an Apple News subscription so boom, you get them all. The only one you don't get is the National Enquirer and to subscribe to that is like

$150.00. So we're going to dip through some of those. Plus, Jocelyn Wildenstein, the cat lady shares pictures of what she looked like back in the day. Madonna's new man is 28 years younger and we couldn't be happier for her. JoJo Siwa reveals her new girlfriend and it's a thirst bucket. Extreme Tick Tocker has uncovered a 2015 series from TLC which they've been trying to hide.

But baby, he found it. It's called My Husband's Not Gay. It's a full on reality show and we've got to talk about it. So let's get into it. So a tik toker named Julian. What is Julian's last name? Julian Hagens, or Hagens who seems to watch a lot of reality shows of different kinds on his TikTok, has unearthed a 2015 series on TLC about Mormon wives and their gay or same sex attracted husbands who agreed to do a full reality show on TLC all about their lives as basically gay guys marry to

ladies. I mean it is motherfucking wild. OK? We're talking like 3 couples. All the guys are into men. All the women are like, well, we're just here to drop off some snacks at this basketball game to make sure that you're not sucking each other's fucking Dicks. I mean, it's not like that, but that is the subtext of every single moment of every show either. Well, OK, we're having a lovely dinner together and you're looking at the waiter. OK, admit it. It's.

You think the waiter's hot. I get it. I mean let's just meet let's just come in on one of the scenes here. They actually you can get a couple of these on YouTube. Let's meet Jeff and Tanya from my husband sake. They're at a bakery. It's the two couples we're. Meeting Brent and Megan for an early dinner tonight. Whenever we get together, you never know where those conversations may go. I want to hear your French pronunciation on the menu.

These two faggots having dinner with their long-suffering wives. Of. Course. Hello. There's a handsome waiter and literally the eyeballs pop out of the two gay husbands. Can I get? You all an appetizer. To He's wearing a tight black T-shirt. Your hummus plate it's. Yeah, I want to eat your fucking hummus, you slut. And the wife's like he wants to eat his fucking hummus. He's a very good looking guy. We have a very open relationship.

And this is just one. More way we try to be open and I found it's more freeing to just acknowledge. Yeah, that is a yeah that I'm into the waiter say. You need. A little more of the math masculine Butch Indian, more of the all American. Guy Oh, and they're telling their wives what type Yeah, sure that's your type, sweetie. OK, now there's so much to enjoy the show at other points they like they all the gay husbands like go for a a basketball game and to help support each other.

Now they the the three. There's three main gay in quotes husbands who are married to three straight women and they have a fourth friend who also has SSA save sex attraction as if it's a disease and they want to set him up with a lady And they're like, well, should we tell her about your SSA on the first date? He's like, I wish you guys would just keep out of my business. Don't let her know about that.

I'll slip it in later. So they're trying to set these these women and gay guys are about to set up another woman to come into their cabal. What are they going to wait till she falls and lays so nice? He has such wonderful, handsome, tight male friends and they love physically bonding. This man is perfect for me, just perfect.

This is motherfuking wild. But they go play all go play basketball and they the wives drop by because the you know, they, they these guys obviously cannot be trusted. I mean, in another scene the the husband is talking to the wife about going wanting to go on a camping trip. OK, I mean and it Tony and I just This is why. Ready for the dinner party tonight? I think me and the guys are going to go camping in a few weeks. Camping. Who's going? A couple guys you don't know.

That is well do. You know these guys. I I don't know very well actually. Being with someone with SSA comes. With a couple guys you don't know, I mean, it goes on and on. And this is I've I'd like to find the full episodes and get into this for deeps because the I mean, these poor wives, what are they doing with these men and these men? What are they doing wasting these women's time? 2015 was a wild time. It didn't feel like that long

ago. But when you look back at this, the fact that this was on TV, while I'm researching this, I came up with a Today Show clip or a Good Morning America clip that was like the controversial show that has everybody talking. My husband's not gay. It's a TLC show. And then the people were fucking guests on the show. Why were these people What? I'm sorry for these men, you know what I mean? Like, what are they? I'm sorry for these women too. What are they doing?

Ladies, find yourself a man that is interested in you, not a man who every minute when he goes camping with his buddies, you're going to have to worry that he's not roasting marshmallows, but he's getting spit roasted. I mean, they're not going to be roasting marshmallows. They're going to be spit roasting your husband, OK? Your husband is going to be stuffed from the front and the back. Your husband is going to be bucockied while you're at home

watching a Lifetime movie. Miss, Save yourself. Save yourself. Please don't get pregnant, Miss Man. You know what? What? Who am I judging? What is it, 2015? I'm going to go judge everyone. You know what? I hope they're happy. I hope they're happy. I'm sure they are. I'm sure these wives love being cooked. They watch their husbands fuck man. And it's it is hilarious and delightful. Of course. Now remember that SSA backwards spells ass. What network meeting did they

have? And they were like, OK, well, guys, what are the pitches? What do we got? Well, I've met a community in Salt Lake City of gay guys or guys with SSA, that same sex attraction who are married to women and they're all friends and they talk about it. They talk about it upfront, whether into the waiter or whatever. And we want to follow them around. I mean, I need to find out what happened and they say yes, this is it. This will not this is not problematic at all.

Shoot it. Spend a half $1,000,000 on this show. Let's go. These people need to set each other free. I mean really like why? Why would you? But I think he should be able to go camping and suck a Dick and get fucked and she should be married to a man that wants to have sex with her and she doesn't have to worry he's sucking a Dick every time he goes camping. But to each their own. Where are they now? That's what I want to know. Where are they now?

I'm going to find the episodes of the show. I'm going to do it on Patreon, to review them all on Patreon, and I am going to find out where are they now, sweetie? Where are they now? We need to know. Are they still together? Are they proving me wrong nine years later? Are they like you, ignorant jerk? Johnny, Our marriage is stronger than ever. He disgust us. All right, let's move on to some of the tabloid headlines. Let's see. What? What are we working with over here?

OK, first of all, In Touch magazine has Barack and Michelle separate bedrooms. It's an open secret. Will they divorce? She sacrificed everything but therapy couldn't fix him. Why their 32 year old marriage finally cracked. Plus the Gen. rumor that won't go away now. Of course, this is this is full

on lies. I mean, this is all because the timing of the Obamas at the DNC, they've been, you know, they've been keeping it and they've been producing their shows for Netflix, keeping their star power under wraps in this uncertain time. But baby, they let the star power fly at the DNC. And of course, they're back on everybody's, you know, the tip of everybody's lips and in touch is like separate bedrooms. That'll get them.

What is the Jen rumor that won't go away is that Barack Obama and Jennifer Aniston are having an affair. I mean, I was going to say something horrible like Jennifer is a noted slut, but that's actually just not true. He's been hanging out in California more among Hollywood circles with Michelle wants nothing to do with and that's led to shocking rumors that Barack is getting very close to Jennifer Aniston. I mean, it it do take nerve.

Can you imagine if Jennifer Aniston really was going to be a fool to have an affair? First of all, that Barack Obama would have an affair with Jennifer Aniston? I don't think so. But if Jennifer Aniston was foolish enough to do such a thing and never got caught, they would hate her. The world would hate her. But it doesn't matter because that's never going to happen because that's just not true. But we could be amused by this

invasion of privacy. Also on this cover, Megan and Harry, bosses from hell, 18 staffers quit. Wow, what could they be doing? Do you know what the more interesting headline about the Royals is 'cause you know, I do not give a shit about the Royals except when they were younger and more handsome. And handsomeness is what we're talking about. Because did you all see that picture of Prince William that came out with him with a beard? And everybody was like, Oh my God, Oh my God, he's so hot.

And I mean, because I feel like William and Kate are kind of having a comeback. I mean, they were nobody's favorite William's hair. They did the, the palace, the the corporation. Where the fuck did they call them the Firm? The Firm had done him dirty. They didn't get him any Rogaine. They didn't get him any half wigs. They didn't get anything. They left him out there, bald as can be.

Kate was dealing with Megan supposedly was a real bitch to Megan and everybody was kind of hating on them. But then Megan and Harry moved their ass to, you know, Oprahville, wherever the fuck they live in upstate California and Montecito. That's where it is rather really millionaires, billionaires live and now everyone hates them. And because Kate had that thing where everyone was like, she's

missing, it's a conspiracy. And then everyone was shamed afterward for when she actually had something wrong with her. And then William grew a beard so suddenly that Katie's coming back. It's on even one of the covers of the of one of the other tabloids, like beautiful Kate's return. We love her Coming to America is on the cover of Star and star usually is giving her a hard time. But Kate does look good. I mean, she's making a magnificent royal return, as

they say. And now William is less ugly because he has that beard. God bless the power of a beard. You know what I mean? I really can appreciate that, obviously, but like, you know, a beard, when it's done, when it's wrong, the right man can just change it up for you, hide sins, roughing you up, make you look a little more rugged. So congratulations to William for having people thirsting after him for the first time in a zillion years.

You better work. Oh my God, there is an article in here and you know I need to know this one. Inside Zac's bizarre and troubled world. Thank you, thank you for this. This is what we need. Inside Zac's bizarre and troubled world is what I want. What's wrong with Zac is what the article is called, and that's what we all want to know. Zac Efron happy and healthy. Zac Efron posted alongside a workout pic.

August 6th. Days before, the 36 year old had been hospitalized after a swimming accident. Mm hmm. Swimming accident during a getaway to Ibiza where no drugs or partying happen. The Iron Claw star had ingested water into his lungs after hitting his chest on the bottom of his villa's pool. How does one hit one's chest on the bottom of one's pool? I do not know. Appearing dazed after security on site pulled him out of the pool? The High School Musical alum sure seems accident prone.

You got that right, Star magazine. Over the years, he's injured his wrist while filming Townies, torn his ACL while skiing, dislocated his shoulder and thrown out his back. He also had to have an emergency appendectomy and battled typhoid while shooting an adventure reality series, Killing Zac Efron. Zac Efron. He also broke his jaw while running through his house in socks.

He must have been running very fast to break his jaw, slipping and hitting his face on the granite fountain, just like you would hit your fate, your chest on the bottom of your villa swimming pool. How was it empty? No, because you you ingested water into your lungs. His altered appearance part sparked plastic surgery rumors, which he spoofed in the recent network movie A Family Affair.

But the California native downplays his bizarre run of bad luck, saying I tend to thrive under extreme circumstances and seek out opportunities to challenge me on every level. I mean, his body does still look tight. And what, in this position and the happy and healthy photo that he posted, supposedly from Ibiza, he looks good. But the rumors were that this picture was just an old photo of

him working out anywhere. And he was really, you know, still in the hospital from doing a large, copious amount of drugs in Ibiza. Like I said, I haven't done drugs in years, but I would go back to doing drugs if I could for one night to to have a a Bender with Zac Efron. Mm Hmm. Brandy, are you in? She is in, right? Zac, what's up? Did you all see him in that movie where he played the like he he and Nicole Kidman were romantic lovers in this.

He was a movie star and he was she was his assistant's mother. This and this was quite a pairing. This was a pairing for the ages, a plastic surgery pairing for the ages. They both look like AI creations, vaguely like themselves, but not quite in many filters on that movie. A lot of AI taking away wrinkles and a lot of fill. I mean, you know, I love a diamond jaw facial. And when people get the jaw, the

jaw filler. But on Zac Efron, it looks crazy because he looked so good before and now he looks just a little bizarre. Bizarre how bizarre. Jennifer's heartbreak dumped after six years. It's Ben's fault, and we're talking about Jennifer Garner. I was like, what the fuck Jennifer are we talking about? We're talking about Jennifer Garner. Blind devotion to ex Ben Affleck shattered her own chance at a happily ever after. Why can't Jen just let go of the past? She'll never give up on him.

I mean, what else is she going to fucking do? Let's see. Let's see what the story says now. The last thing I haven't seen. I used to think Jen Garner was a great actress, but I haven't seen her acting in anything in a long time.

The most recent thing I saw her on camera in was an episode of the Barefoot Contessa. Because she loves the Barefoot Contessa, just like I do, and just like bazillions of others do. But she's a famous star, so she gets to go over to the Barefoot Contessa house and make stuff together. I mean, how delightful. You know, when you if you're choosing a domestic diva to worship and you're another celebrity, your best bet is to worship Ina. She's much more likely to be

nice to you. Whereas Martha, you could be Martha's number one fan, but she will not take that take kindly to you. Like Ina Garten is not looking at Jen Garner doing like my fake cooking show or whatever the fuck Internet cooking show she makes and seeing her as competition. But when Martha has another lady on her trail, honey, she does not enjoy it. Bethany kill, Gwyneth Paltrow, trash Blake Lively even she was like stay an actress bitch. Stay an actress bitch.

Everybody's talked about the Blake Lively hate train that's going on. I don't really have a lot to add to it other than like you're y'all are really surprised at this gorgeous rich actress is kind of a cunt sometimes. That's beautiful and has let everyone do whatever they want for the rest of their life. I mean, can we just Who's married to Ryan Reynolds? I don't know.

What I do know though is that she wore Britney Spears dress, the Versace dress that Britney wore back in the day to one of her movie premieres and I thought that was good though Brittany calls Brittany commented in a in a in a way that was just pure Brittany. What did Brittany think of it? Well, I'll tell you what I thought of it. Hey, what's up, sis? I, it's been a kind of quiet on the Britney front lately. I figured you were taking a nap.

Well, I was taking a nap, a drug induced ketamine nap. But I'm up now and I'm horny and the gardener's gone. So I figured I'd come spin around, see what's up, go to The Cheesecake Factory cruise for guys and comment on Blake Lively wearing my old Versace dress. Well, what did you think? I thought you were She look nice, but like who's she trying to feel? That's my second dress. I I've got I got a similar one that I got on Amazon. It's not Versace, but it's like a Versace look alike.

And I chopped it real short and I wore it in a video and I said I'm no at Blake Lively, but quit dot dot dot dot dot updated version of my 2002 Versace dress. I like it way better. I'm no Blake Lively, but I like it. And then she removed it. Yeah, I've removed it because I don't need, I don't need to be caught up in her bullshit. Everybody hates her now. So I'm not, I'm not going to mention her any bit right now. You know, I'm saying I'm not mentioning Blake Lively and

getting pulled into her thing. I'm busy fucking gardeners, OK? I'm busy going to Cheesecake Factory. And you know what? I'm considering a run back into going to gas stations barefoot. OK, sure, why not Brandy? Why not? Well, it's kind of fun and I'm allowed to have fun. That's the only thing I have left, having fun. You can always do a new album or something. No, no, no, that's what y'all want. That's what y'all fans want, and I'm not going to do that. I'm not.

But you know what I will do? Run to this gas station and get some bad lighters barefoot Stalem. Charge it to Johnny McGovern, that stupid fuck. Well, Brittany, you know what I would gladly get you A 20 pack of lighters. Whatever you want. You've earned it. We've we've all just been entertained by you for so long. So anything that you want is fine with us. Good. Then why don't you do something for me? Can you please? Well, sure. What is it, sweetie? Can you go fuck yourself, you

stupid fucker? Bye. Fuckers. Hate my friends. The Closer magazine is the most cutting edge of any of these magazines and it's because they have Phyllis Diller on the cover. Anybody who was not who was born anytime past, I don't know, 1985 wouldn't even know who the fuck Phyllis Diller was. She's a old school lady comedian. Before Joan Rivers, there was fucking Phyllis Diller, honey. She was very self deprecating. She got a lot of plastic surgery.

She was always talking about her unseen husband. And you know what? She's dead many, many years. But what is she doing? She's on the cover of Closer magazine. Closer to the grave, that is. If you ever see in a live star on the cover of Closer magazine, you should know that they are going to die soon, correct? They're going to die soon because Closer magazine is a curse. Betty White, she was on the Closer magazine cover, dead. All The Golden Girls, in fact,

were killed by Closer magazine. OK, I'm not going to go into the details on what they're talking about with Phyllis Stiller. I'm just looking at the table of contents of this. It's just like, Oh my God, are they trying to kill Hoda Kotbi? They put her in a nice big feature in this. Don't you dare kill Hoda. Harrison Ford's in here. That means he is time is limited. We're definitely not getting another Indiana Jones if they appease in Closer magazine that the death sentence.

Both Martin Short and Steve Martin are in this magazine now. There'll be no season 4 of Only Murders of the Building. Has anyone watched Only Murders in the Building? I know people seem to love it. I did start to dip in because Meryl Streep joined the cast and I said, OK, that's what I want to see. And so I watched a couple episodes and I did find that appealing, though I tried to watch episode one, Season 1, and honey, she just, she fell off.

She was not doing it. They're trying to kill Catherine Zeta Jones. Oh, no, Hasn't she suffered enough? Oh, and here in the back. Oh, my God, they're trying to kill you too, Brittany. Oh, no. Yup, that's right. They have Brittany in her Versace dress, and they have Blake in the same Versace dress. Oh, Brittany wore that dress when she went to the Versace fashion show in Milan in 2002. Honey, 2002 was a great time for Britney Spears. She was stunning. She was partying, she was

touring. She was going to Milan. No one could stop her. I was having fun. I hate my daddy. You know, they have a Drew Barrymore magazine. I guess anytime you are sort of one of those eponymous talk show host that you know, especially if you have any kind of home or craft type of thing, they give you a magazine. The where was the Wendy Williams magazine? OK, when we had her at her peak, I would have read the I would have read Wendy weekly.

She was too busy drinking and doing coke to supervise that. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Ellen's on the cover of Intouch finally coming clean. Mental illness, extreme paranoia, dementia, heartbreak. The bruised but not broken comedian reveals her jaw-dropping secrets she hid from the world. I mean, I'm sure Ellen was kind of a bitch, but like, they really ran her over honey. Couldn't she been that much more of a bitch than everybody else after all those years of being beloved?

Like one year they're like, fuck her and she had to just go back to Montesito and know that everyone hated her after all those years. Now she's supposed to have a new Netflix special, which I hope is called revenge. And then she says then I'm really going away and never coming back. We'll see. I mean, I, I get it when when people, when people who used to love you sometimes turn on you, they can be the most passionate about hating you. Jocelyn Wildenstein.

You remember her? Jocelyn Wildenstein was Jocelyn Wildenstein is called the Catwoman. She's someone who had a lot of plastic surgery with a big puffy face. And like, this was back in the 80s and 90s. And she, you know, now everybody kind of looks like the Catwoman a little bit, certainly a lot of older Divas. But at that time, this New York socialite and tabloid fixture was, you know, just her. Her wild looks were a real thing.

I mean she had such a such a so much filler and facelift that she looked like, well, a cat. Which is why they dubbed her the Catwoman. Now, interestingly enough, Alexis Stone, you know, the drag queen that dresses up as Misses Doubtfire, Miranda Priestly, Jessica Lange at all the Balenciaga shows with the prosthetics. She is the makeup artist for Jocelyn Wildenstein and is Jocelyn Wildenstein is her biggest inspiration.

Now, if you look at Alexa Stone, she has had a little bit of work done, certainly not as extreme as Jocelyn Wildenstein, but I have actually never seen a picture of what Jocelyn Wildenstein looked like before all the surgery. And baby, she was very beautiful, very beautiful. How does one go from this to that? I mean, it's a look. It's just not the same look.

So remember we talked about what we tried to manifest a role for me in The Golden Gaze AKA Mid Century Modern with Matt Bomer, Nathan Lane and Nathan Lee Graham as well as Linda Lavin. And I want to let everyone know that I did not get a role in that because they've never heard of me. But let's continue to manifest such a thing. If this gets picked up, there's many places for me to be in this because they have shared the first picture of the cast.

First look at Matt Bomer, Nathan Lane, Nathan Legram, Lee Graham not Lee Graham and Linda Lavin in Hulu comedy series mid century modern follows three friends Jay gentlemen of a certain age who spent their golden years living together in Palm Springs where the wealthiest 1 lives with his mom. Now, people on Twitter were like, Matt Bomer is a man of certain age, sweetie. He is Matt Bomer, I believe is, you know, only a couple years away from 50.

Like some of us. I mean, we've talked about this before. This is this looks like it's going to be so good. I am definitely excited to see these episodes happening, honey. And I would like to be in them. Let's put that into the universe. I'm going to be in them. You're going to find a role for me in this show universe. Let's do it. I should be trying to get on something that's not just on Hulu where I can get paid a full network rate. Honey, we'll take what we can get.

Oh, now I've just come across another. Let's talk about Madonna's new boyfriend. Now, I think we've mentioned it briefly on the show with Pete Zaius, but Madonna is now hard launched her new man and he is officially 38 years younger. The Queen of Pop just hard launched her new boyfriend. 38 year age gap. Hakeem Morris, it's his name. They're holding hands, walking around. I mean, what else is there? If you're Madonna and you've got a new man, what do you do?

You grab his hand, you take him and you take him on a walk and everyone's going to take your picture and there you go. Oh, they were seen visiting the Dolce Gabbana store and having dinner. Sounds good. Madonna is 66, he is 28. That's something to aspire to. I hope I can look as good as Madonna and have as young of a boyfriend as Madonna when I am 66. So you go, girl. Chattanooga Choo Choo. That's right. I'm here with my men. Hey, everybody, it's me, Madonna. I'm youthful. I'm young.

I do not wear pants. I'm a raver girl. OK? I'm a raver girl. I'm young. I've got a young boyfriend. Actually, he's he's older than me. I'm just, I'm just a young girl. He's, he's the real big boy of the situation. Come on, darling, let's go to Dolce and Gabbana and I'm going to get you a Chattanooga juju and make you fuck me in the changing room. Oh, yeah. Madonna met him on the set of her Paper magazine photo shoot in 2022, but she was dating Josh

Popper at that time. Well, get on, go, go on. I'd like to hear from Madonna's pussy. I love. That's me. Madonna's pussy. Really. Why do you have a British accent? Oh, you know, she dropped the British accent, lady, but I kept mine a lot. You know, I'm thinking seats us. Oh, interesting. All right, well, how's everything going down there? You know, every these days just struggle. We're trying to stay tight, we're trying to stay trim. We're trying, you know, we're

doing whatever we can. We use a lot of skin creams, laser, whatever it takes to just put the young. Well, best of luck. Best of luck. A few blind items I enjoyed. Gigi Hadid doesn't want to be Bradley Cooper's beard any longer. We've been hearing in the blind items for quite a while now that Gigi Hadid is a beard for Bradley Cooper and also Bradley Cooper. They have a photo of him in this

blind item of him post facelift. And I know people have said he looks good, he looks young, but I can only say a couple things. Wig, wig. He looks, the wig is looking good. It's sitting, but we know it's a wig. And the face, though, he looks touched up, it something's off. It just looks like what it is. It looks like work has been done. Not bad. Not Kenny Rogers, but it looks like wig and work. She's not.

She did not go with him to the tail to the party at Taylor Swift's house where she's besties with Taylor. And she said, no, we're breaking up because you are gay. My husband's not gay. Gigi. Indeed. The latest latest cast member Someone in the comments says Bradley Cooper is starting to look like Barry Manilow. And that is it. On the nose. Honey is on the nose. Oh, and here's one that I really did enjoy. Harry Styles meet out with a man Question mark.

Here's a new blind item that's allegedly about Harry Styles hooking up with a man at a club. This foreign born former boy bander had his tongue deep down the throat of a guy he was partying with at a club after a concert on the East Coast. And again, this is allegedly Harry Styles. I mean, OK, that's not much of AI Guess that's, I guess that's a very brief blind item. But yeah.

But here, I mean, if Harry Styles was at a party making out with a guy, don't you think there'd be lots of pictures, sweetie? I mean, it's like, as much as I want to think that Harry Styles is making out with guys and being bi and doing all the rest, if they were making out at a party, people would have the footage. OK? People are sneaky motherfuckers. OK. And two things on the end here. Why the fuck is Tyra Banks selling ice cream and is why is

it called SMIZE? Of all the things that Tyra Banks could have gone into business to do, why ice cream? She's had pop ups in here in LA, she said pop up in Dubai and she's opening one in DCA brick and mortar store. Why though? Why Tyra? She just was like I want I need a product called Smize and ice cream will do. I don't get it, what is the point? Dreamy ice cream with a yummy Smize surprise? Let's go to smize.com and see what the fuck this is about. This is not AI.

Don't. I don't understand. I don't. I don't get it necessarily. Like what? What is it? Tyra is launching a new Smize and Dream in just a few days. The website has 0% information about Smize. I'm not going to sign up. Maybe she just loves ice cream and it lights up your eyes so it's smize ice cream. You'll be smiling with your eyes when you eat our ice cream. Kiss my fat ass. Remember that moment?

That's like a early aughts classic when Tyra put on the bathing suit that they took the pictures of her in where she looked fat and then she came out of her talk show on the same bathing suit and said, kiss my fat ass. We were really hard on each other in the early aughts. I mean, people are mean today in the comment section, but people were officially mean like in magazines and newspapers and on podcasts. And last but not least, let's

end with something fun. This is a found clip of Whitney Houston in the studio. And I think this is during maybe the recording of the Preacher's Wife soundtrack, and she's just in the studio having fun. And, you know, we miss her. We can imagine she was probably sniffing a little bit maybe during this, and we knew the voice was going down a little bit. But we can just forget about all that and just enjoy this little memory of Whitney Houston.

She was mad at me for pushing her, but it came out great. I need some water. I'm a hurt you try. I swear to God. Troy. Troy. You know what, Troy? You take me back to my days. I swear to God I'm gonna do a flying jumping when I come out there to the flying jumping kick to your head. Jesus Christ. No, no, no, no. No one is a king. I hurt you. No, he directed like he got a choir over here. No, I mean, he got lost. His damn. Mind I misreed and God bless.

All right, peace Well everybody, I hope you enjoyed the show today. If you're watching, I hope you enjoyed that too. And remember, you can watch the full me sitting and doing the show in a tank top with my hairy shoulders out on patreon.com/guest of all time, honey. And why don't you join me there? Look, that's that's daddy's bread and butter. Get over there's help support me.

And if you're too poor to do that, which I know you're not, just go over to iTunes or Spotify and leave me a lovely five star review. All right, everybody, thank you for listening and I'll see you next week on Gay as Fuck.

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