This is Gary and Shannon and you're listening to kf I AM six forty, the Gary and Shannon Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app.
Neil Savedra and Marlatte is in for Gary and Shannon today and throughout the remainder of the week, and of course right now at eleven oh four.
You know what time that is, Yeah, what time is it?
It's time for swamp watch.
Swamp is horrible.
The government doesn't come.
Man, you're gonna make this like a reality TV show.
A bad bos.
Always a pleasure to be anywhere from Washington, d C. Hey, Joe.
A town wall too, clearly built on a swamp and in so many ways.
Still a swamp watching. Malarkey said, drained the swamp. I said, Oh that's so hope. Keep you know the thing.
All right.
Federal judge on Tuesday denied former President Donald Trump's second and last ditch bid to transfer his New York hush money case to a federal court.
He wanted this, but that has now since been denied.
This means that the ruling will happen, or it is expected to happen, for his May conviction a little later this month September.
The eighteenth.
Yeah, it's kind of It's interesting because he's arguing that he wants it to be a federal trial and to transfer, and so he you know, his people and his attorney are making that case. But he's saying that the current judge is biased there in New York, and the judge in this case is saying, you know, that still doesn't present a federal question, now justified jurisdiction change or any of that.
So the judges John Juan Mershaun and he had asked the judge to set aside the jury's verdict because it allegedly relied on evidence of Trump's quote official and therefore immune conduct, but also has requested that the judge delay has sentencing until after the November election, and both motions are still pending.
So in the meantime on just strategy, Yeah, if it goes to the federal level and he becomes president again, then it puts things into a better context and also being able to make the argument that it was an official act and.
Then of course he's immune. If there's any problems, all.
Right, Donald Trump Kamala Harris too close to call in two very key battle ground states.
This is according to a latest poll, a new poll from CNN.
SSRs and these two states versuial tie, Pennsylvania and Georgia.
And we've seen these going back and forth, and it's hard to tell what's real because a lot of people will take these a screen grab that looks like it's from television and they'll throw up, you know, a bunch of different numbers and what have you.
So we've seen a lot of this.
How Ever, it has after the big bump that everybody gets from the RNC and the DNC, things are kind of leveling out and they seem neck and neck in a lot of areas, maybe up a point or two here, two there, but this is pretty much a dead heat in these two major states. So this is going to be an interesting part of the race. Of course, the rest of us here in southern California. California know that if you vote anything other than Democrat, you're kind of it's kind of a wasted vote, you know.
So we are in a royal blue state.
Yeah, exactly, so it doesn't really matter most of the time, unfortunately.
Well yeah, I mean, so the election will be called by the top battleground states.
And I mentioned this on Monday. I do refer to Real Clear Politics quite a bit.
They take the average of you know, X amount of polls on a daily basis, and Pennsylvania literally tied. Georgia Harris is at point one, so again tie, and most of them in fact Arizona, Nevada, Wisconsin, Michigan, in North Carolina.
You could essentially say that they're all virtual ties right now.
I mean, because Trump's at point seven in North Carolina, Harris is at point six in Nevada.
I mean, this is all within the margin of error.
This is depending on where you said, I suppose this is going to be an interesting little nail bier.
Yeah. And then there's the question of which, of course the Trump camp says, and there is reason to believe that it could be happening that Republicans are underpolled in many of these polls.
There's that issue.
There was evidence of that in twenty sixteen, evidence of that in twenty twenty, and you won't know until so.
Because they have jobs after the fact of when the.
Election results come out after November the fifth, How off or on the polls were right.
Yeah, sometimes better than we've seen things switch. Well, you just don't. It is like trying to predict the weather it's going to be.
There are meteorologists for that, yes, but they don't predict it.
They forecast, Yes, they forecast and then it's wrong.
Darn it.
Well not here in Los Angeles seventy two degrees. Well right now we're in the heat wave.
So interestingly, Robert F. Kennedy Junior slammed Vice President Harris Candidacy just yesterday, but not on you know, typical. These are her her points of interest, This is what she's going to do. This one was if she he says she's not worthy a worthy president because she doesn't want to have an interview or she doesn't do interviews and he wants a president who can give an interview.
Well, the question is is it hurting her the fact that she's not doing these interviews. I mean there was the big wind ye right, there's the big wind up of she hadn't done anything, she's not going in front of the cameras. And then last week, of course the CNN interview where she didn't even do it alone and was chastised for that because she wasn't alone and she doesn't take a lot of time out to answer questions, unlike Trump, who's in front of a camera all the time.
In fact, he's doing a town hall tonight with Fox's Sean Hannity.
I just had a vision of like one of those head cameras, like with a GoPro that you know, snowboarders where whatever.
That Trump would just.
Have that on him twenty four to seven idea, and you could patch into him at anytime at anytime, just the Trump cam, and it's just from that weird point of view that looks like the blurring project. Yeah, and you're like, what the hell's going on? But I do think there's a couple things that are bugging me about where we've gone and where we've gotten to rather, I guess, and that is that we don't demand as the American people debates that that's not built that that's just not
built in. Hey, if you're the top five or whatever, they're going to be debates, period. You don't get to decide if you're going to debate or not. Well, has to be debates. And two, you have to do interviews. You have we deserve to know who you are as much as possible and have access to you. And if you're not a good speaker, fine, there are there are a lot of people that don't speak well, and you go lead on that. Listen, I'm not a great speaker. These are you know, these are the issues that I
care about. These, you know, so my partner might be you know, it reminds me of Scripture, reminds me of Moses. God says, hey, go tell the people this, and he goes, uh, I don't talk so good. Why don't you go ask my brother? It's like you'll be fine. You know, there's sometimes that's that might be your thing. Listen, I'm not a fancy talker, right.
It's just like you're If you're not a good test taker, doesn't mean that you're stupid exactly.
Yeah, No, I get that.
I believe you deserve to hear some of my thoughts, and this is what they are.
Well, I think about first of all, historically, debates really haven't moved the needle until June twenty seventh, and then we saw how that moved the needle. So now will this debate, which is now six days away and by all accounts it's supposed to happen. Although Harris is still pushing back on she wants the MIC's open, and Trump's team says no, Mike's will be muted fighty twist that. Yeah, really, So we'll see if how this would move the needle.
And I think that it could have a significant impact one way or the other. And then also to your point about doing interviews just to get a job these days, how many interviews do you have to go through absolutely to get a job. It's not just one interview. You have to go through several interviews by and large. Yeah, the person who wants to be the president of the United States should should.
Have to do that as well.
Yeah, we should have open access to the person who wants this job the best of our though.
Deborah Mark, get Kamala Harris on the line, now, Okay, I'm on it.
She's got it on a speed dial. You know, we were talking earlier about the cars. We'll get back to some more swamp watch. When we were talking about that, knew someome law.
About already knew if you go over ten miles per hour, be on the speed limit.
Yeah.
And then we talked about that they have those lane things, you know, they're lane things. Yeah, you were saying that they'll, yeah, you're going into different lanes. Would that be fun if if if if people had those, So like, if some guy comes into a man's playing something, it goes, stay in your lane, Stay.
In your lane.
My radar would be going off NonStop.
Wouldn't that be funny every time somebody goes, uh, you know, like Cliff Claven or something, it's like, you know, uh, it's like stay in your lane, stay in your lane.
Maybe I would get a kick out of that.
Yeah, I would get one of those.
I would all right, so Biden, President, Oh, that's not the one I wanted to start with.
I wouldn't Just where did I put that? This story? Which one I just turned in? Oh, it's right here. I just turned into Bill Handle. Where's my head? Okay?
Well, no, you need it for Tata.
Yeah.
I was laughing at this story. How Harris and Waltz Walls are like channeling this cheesy sitcom buddy cop energy on some of the videos and some of the things of them. You know, they haven't known each other very long.
No, in fact, they of all the VP nominees and the you know picks going into this, they didn't really know each other at all. Whereas she had already established the relationship with Joshapiro, for example, and so go ahead.
So they're saying that this kind of.
Yeah, all of them are sort of artificial, right, the kind of like we stand together.
You and I barely know each other.
So, yeah, we're not fans at all. It takes us so long to look at each other when we do the show. We start with our backs, turn and then slowly set in the other room. By the fourth hour, we're sort of almost thirty five degrees from each other strong, but we fake it well. So but you got to imagine that when you do that, you're standing for the country and in this you know, hey, we're going to be sturdy together. We've got each other's back, We've got
your back. But they have They refer to this Taco's video that set the stage. It was released by Kamla Harris's and Tim Wall's campaign days before the Democratic Convention, and it showed them hanging out. They're chatting at a jazz club in Detroit, and you know, they're being pals,
laughing ahaha, and everything about their differences musical tastes. He likes Springsteen and Seeger and she's Aretha and Prince and she mocked him for not answering her phone call yet, did you hear about that how he didn't even pick up the phone when she called originally to yea, so come on, Walls, pick up the phone. And then she teased him for eating what he calls white guy tacos.
What is that?
I don't know what white people tacos are.
They also refer to him as black people tacos sometimes, because it is when you use the hardshell and the cheese and the treaded lettuce and the tomato.
You know, yeah, it's like, well that you can get that a taco bell exactly.
Ingo. So that's basic. They're delicious. Don't get me wrong. I grew up on him as well. There's no shame in that game. So they go back and full it's and and he referred to when she was joking with him, She's like, what does that mean?
Does that mean like mayonnaise and tuna? And it's like boying, you know, like the gonna have catchphrases I didn't do.
It was that the Super Mario Brothers jingle.
Kind of but that, you know, that kind of fake camaraderie. We're having a great time. We're gonna do the freeze frame after we jump up at the end of the you know, show and five, and people are saying, it's kind of.
It's kind of getting a notchious.
Well channeling sort of a cheesy sitcom energy.
Yeah, and I've seen it, you know, the laughing and the and he's kind of reeled down to earth.
Yeah, the sort of Brady bunch, the blended family, the cool woman, the dorky guy sort of a thing.
What wait what.
The cool woman and the dorky guy a thing. Yeah, it's like you use that one asn't you know? Come on now?
Okay, the next one is the woman in charge stereo type of the isn't that kind of like from the Hallmark movies. I'm just a woman that really is focused on my career here in New York that's probably dealing with fashion or marketing. And now I've got to go to this small town to deal with my dad's old tree factory.
And then the love of my life is going to walk in.
I want to go to a tree factory because they just grow. It's a farm, right, Okay, So here he's here always like when you're trying to do a we got it down, we got it down? Does this count for swap swamp? Watch the h we never actually fully explain this.
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
Quoted by Benjamin Franklin.
Yeah, and I thought someone else said it as well, but a shorter version. Oh that was too worthy for you. No, no, no, but no, I'm a huge Franklin fan. I'm just I feel like someone else said. Oh, hold on Thomas Jefferson.
Yes, but he said it more concise, right, No, that's not to be liberty.
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve.
No, that's pretty much the same thing.
Said it man.
Oh, Thomas Jefferson said this. Pardon me.
The people are the only sure reliance for the preservation of our liberty.
No, that's not what I was thinking. Okay, we are not getting any closer to it. Okay, all right, there's another story for swamp watch.
This is another. It's almost sad to watch President Biden.
Now. It's even worse than before because now it feels like everybody's treating him like no, no, no, you're the man, You're the president. What do you think, Kamala. It's like every time you see him. It just seems like he's more lame duck than any other lame duck in the lame duck pond. Yeah.
So he he uh delivered a speech about his investing in America. He touted his accomplishments as president.
And then for a full minute. A minute is a long time if you're being peppered with questions.
A minute is a long time for anything. True. I always used the baby crying test.
Yeah, that's think of a baby crying as a runner a minute. If you keep looking at your watch in a minute's time, you look down and you're like, it's got to be a minute at least it's fifteen seconds.
Yeah, yeah, running So.
Literally, for sixty.
Seconds, reporters could be heard asking about various key issues like establishing a ceasefire in the Israel Hamas war free IVF treatment. That's something that Donald Trump said that he would provide if elected president. They asked him about high grocery prices, and he literally sat there and didn't say anything, And concluding his remarks, he said, may God protect our troops, and then he just sat at the desk smiling awkwardly.
Right, but they say ignore. I don't know if he's ignoring them. I don't know.
The question is he can hear no if if he's coherent, you know, a full minute, and he's grinning, and those are all signs.
Have you ever seen somebody as they slip into dementia. It's it's very sad. But one of the things that you will note, but they grin a lot more smile like that.
You're doing right, are you? Okay?
But that's the that and and that's the look on his face that I'm looking at. I mean that kind of blank grin. And that's the president of these United States, the highest office in the land, and they're asking him questions and he's just you know, there's.
The other side that he could be thinking. The pressure's off me. Now you know, all your attentions on kamala anyway, Okay.
Then you say say, I'm not taking any questions, but thank you or whatever. But to sit there and smile and wait for somebody to yo.
Cut well, and his staffers literally ushered him away, yeah, saying thank you, press.
Yeah, and he said horn Pop's a bad dude, and then they whisked him away. The beginning of swamp watch ah, right, it's time for a little uh, parental guidance from.
Our dangerous When you saw.
That guidance, there, you know a little bit of parent I don't know if I have any business being a guide. My job is to keep the bar low. I feel that way everybody feels more comfortable with the believe.
It was Lincoln who said I learned something from everyone I meet. It's usually what not to do. Oh interesting, Yeah, there you go. Then I'm definitely here to provide that.
Although I did have a huge parental win where I had to, I did a lot of for anybody who tuned in. Last week, I talked about my dad passed away, and so I was gone while he was. You know, we found out he had stage four pancreatic cancer. And I was gone from most of the month of August helping out with my dad and my mom, and had to stick around for about ten days after he passed,
just to help get affairs in order. And I came back home and my son had his sixteenth birthday and my wife had her birthday, and so we were like all together, and I made a comment with my family of four where I said, I've learned that I get a little cranky when I can't be around you guys. Like when stuff happens where I can't be around my
wife and kids, I get agitated. And it was the most heartwarming thing that both of my sons at the same time they went nah, And it was so like it was almost kind of frustrated because they're aout teenagers, so I get a lot of attitude now, but it was also like, so it was a little bit of like, hey, you're making fun of me, but also it was heartwarming that they understood this aspect of my personality well before
I had even figured it out. I mean, he's sixteen years old, and it had a grasp on this being a thing. Like I thought that if they thought I was in a bad Buddhist because I was tired of stress because of my job, which I've always tried really hard not to do that, but sitting on.
The ca together and it's just their presence. Yes, you could be in the garage working on something or whatever, but I need to run in joke or poke at them. Yeah, you say hello, give give the missus a hug. Whatever it is, there is something in that. It is the energy is palpable when your family's gone.
That is why justin Worsham, you are our parental source.
Well, yes, listen, if there's one aspect at least my kids, I don't know. That's the other thing is I am. I I don't know if I'm being making them, being codependent of them. It's like, yeah, we know, we have to make time for you, pops, for your own mental health.
Like but I was starting to get but it does make me.
One of the things that I don't know if you guys are cool talking about this first, but one of the articles that I found is they talked about humor and parenting being like a very valuable tool and being a former comedian everybody that I've ever talked to, because all of my stand up was about being a husband and a.
Father once a comedian always, I don't know about that. It's like marine. Sure. Here's the thing.
I think part of the reason I was very open about to my kids that I wanted to be a stand up comic ever since I was in first grade. It was my dream and I love the job. But I told them, I said, I don't want you to ever feel bad about this. Because they asked me why I quit, I said, I quit because I didn't like being away from you guys and your mom like it. Just for me, it was not a lifestyle for me. I'm not judging any comic or anybody who travels for a living saying they don't love their family.
I'm just saying that I am so.
Codd bad my family that I can't be away from them for extended periods of time. But people had always asked me they would, and I think that's part of the reason why my kids know that I need to be I need to be around for me.
I don't know if they like it yet.
Well, you don't find out anything I think about your kids until they're in they're like early to mid thirties. That's where I feel like you really understand what happened.
So humor, how so in terms of what you're parenting. Obviously not making fun of them.
No, I do that.
I do that a lot.
I do.
I think it's what I've tried to learn, is that for me humor with my kids. What the survey found was that kids reacted better when their parents used humor as a tool, and they actually extrapolated this and compared it to even business relationships too. That when there's humor in the workplace, people feel more productive, they feel more comfortable, morale is just generally better, and the same thing goes for the family.
Is essentially what the survey found.
But what I realized is that whenever I got made fun of by my wife or my kids, I would play the comedic role of like, hey, like pretend to be angry about it. And then I started noticing that my kids were growing up and they were being very They could dish it out, but they can never take it.
And I started to realize, probably within the last three years, to be honest with you, that I'm like, oh, I'm not modeling good behavior of having a good sense of humor because I don't think they're understanding that I'm totally fine being made fun of. And so in the last year three years, I've transitioned where anytime they make fun of me, I just laugh.
I laugh at it, and I'm like, that's a good one.
You got me, And it's lightened up the entire mood in my family, Like everything is just so much lighter. There's a lot, there's some more, but.
It's weirdly enough. Yeah, yeah, everybody.
My younger son was probably the most sensitive, and I don't know if it's just a coincidence of age. Like middle school so far, as a parent, that's not my favorite time period. Middle school so far is the worst. I would much rather have a sixteen year old who which seems to be the one the time period that people most are like, ugh, like, I don't like the high school age kids, but so far high school age is much better than middle school.
Really.
Oh yeah, that's the biggest difference.
It's the they feel in middle schools when all of the puberty starts and I just have sons I and I don't know. I've heard that girls they developed through it much faster, but they also are like emotional ninjas. From what the fathers I've talked to, they you have to have a black belt in psychology.
Not much changes get older.
Yeah, you're always three steps ahead of my cell because the chick food.
When Michelle pointed that out to me, definitely frightened me for weeks.
Yeah, chick fu for anybody who has had heard this, but I've only heard it from Michelle Cbe. But she told me this a long time ago when we used to a podcast together where it's like a woman using not necessarily just sexual feminine wiles, but just feminine wiles in general to manipulate men. And I don't know why, but it just scared me because I'm like, oh, my wife wouldn't do that. In my head, I was just my wife wouldn't do that. I'm like, well, dummy, you
wouldn't know it was happening. By the very nature of chick fu. You don't know you're being chick food. That is the hair that is the hair piece rule. Yeah, you'll go there.
I only see bad hair pieces, I go, of course, Yeah, the good ones you can't see. Notice, that's the whole point is that, Yeah, if you've got somebody that tried that can manipulate you properly, you know, Tim Kelly and Tim's Mary Show to Michelle. We had a list of four or five of those that were those different names for being.
Manipulated by way. Oh okay, all right.
There was another version of chick food that I won't say, but yeah, but there was. Yeah, there was a bunch of them. And one day we were throwing them back and forth about how, yeah there's some you know, I have a straight shooter for a wife. She she's just she'll say it boom and it's out of her mouth and in your lap, and you're like, wow, thank you.
Yeah food chick foo, chickfoo. Yeah.
To go back to answer your question, Marla, that I think it's the it's the initial. Like for my boys, each had their bit. My older son struggled with his physical appearance. He gained weight before like hitting his gross spurt, and he felt really bad, and I didn't know how to help him. I just kept telling him, this isn't a time in your life where should at all be worried about this, you.
Know what I mean.
And he also loved food, and I didn't want to take that from him either, but he wasn't even eating unhealthy.
And then my younger son, he was a.
Late bloomer for puberty and so he always he still has that little boy kind of look, and so his friends and other kids at school were constantly making fun of him because he was short and he looks like a ten year old and that that's just hard because maybe what I'm really trying to say is it just seems to be I can't help them navigate. But now that my older son has kind of grown out of that, he still has problems, but we can have a conversation about this and it's productive.
That's key.
Yeah, if you're talking that, then there's the barriers are down as if it's talk and say hey, you know.
And that was I was afraid my younger son was never going to talk to me. I was. He was just always in his room.
I would try to pull him out with like things that he and I could do together, things he loved, like I got into basketball because he loves basketball, and now I love basketball.
And I wanted him to be able to teach me how to do it.
And I'm trying to finally say, but now, what I found is again through lightning up on my humor, taking the joke. And then also I started being open and honest with my kids, especially my younger son. Every once in a while, he would just randomly give me a hug, and so I would make a big because it was a big deal. I didn't want to put pressure on him, but I said, oh, And then I started if I was having a rough day, I go into him and I say, hey, can I just have a quick hug,
like it'll just help me. And it's hard because as a dad, I don't want to make them feel like they need to take care of me. But I learned something through losing my dad about my brother and the fight that we've had since then, is that my brother
really struggles with showing weakness as a man. He feels like and if anybody has experienced this with their father, my dad did a little bit of it with me, is that you feel like if you show any kind of weakness that somehow you're in your you're not holding your child, especially your son, to their potential, like you're giving them an out. And I started to realize through this conversation I weirdly enough had with my nephew, my brother's kid, that I I don't want to do that,
And thankfully I kind of stumbled into that. I've always been transparent with my kids about my failures because I always thought my dad had it all together, he always had it all figured out, and then he passed away, and then I had to go through his finances and I'm like, you had zero business criticizing me about any financial.
Position I ever made. By the way, Pop's mocking your dead father was part of your right what ge his ashes back and I'm dumping on it more parente with Justine worship them back yeah.
Laughter is Neil Sedra and Marlote's Fox Eleven's Mark Fox.
Element love to do that, don't you.
I don't know.
Just it gives ownership and you'll see no one owns me.
I don't know if I'm okay to laugh at that. I had a reaction to laugh and immediately got afraid. I was like, well, I laughed in appropriately.
No, that was not inappropriate. That was supposed to be funny.
That's good.
I had visions of the movie Elf where you're coming on the little fellow gets on the table and starts running it.
You're not the only funny one around here, Warshaw.
Can I laugh at that?
To ma?
Oh my gosh.
Can you put that on your website or something as a quote from a you know, Fox eleven, Fox eleven, justin Worsham is here to talk parenting, which which is part you know, fifty percent laughing, fifty percent crying.
Yeah. Yeah, it's a very isn't it funny?
That like, especially when they're younger, there's so like the moments that make it all worthwhile seem so fleeting, And then you get to this, like I was saying, you get to this middle school age where it's my experience was very challenging, and then you get to this teenage age where it's significantly.
Less frustrating and exhausting.
But it's just weird to just have people who are solely responsible, Like they get everything that they need from you, right, they'd get clothing.
Food, and shelter from you, but they are wildly disrespectful. They don't appreciate any of its. Well.
On on Monday, we were talking about the fact that parenting is bad for your health that the Surgeon General came out and said that it's a health which I don't like.
Again, I think this is a bureaconor like he's it's.
I'm sure there's data to support it, but I think I think really what he's trying to do is hold up a mirror to society and say, hey, guys, as adults, we're experiencing significant levels of stress when parenting, Like maybe we want to This is my take on that, maybe we want to reevaluate that maybe we should not be so sensitive to trying to be I think it has to.
Come Yes, the perfect parent, that's what it has to come from. Like it's you're not going to be give that dream up we're going to mess them up that you do. At best, they are This is something I learned immediately. Holy crud. He's his own person. With my son,
he's his own person the minute he popped out. Yeah, and and I don't know if this is because we're an adoptive family and you don't put so much on Oh they look like you, they look like me, they look like you know, like they're automatically part of you, and ownership is there. It's like, Okay, how are we going to raise this human that at best you're a rudder to their engine. At best you help kind of move them. But they are their own motor and they're
going where they're going. And you're saying, you know you.
I've told my son many times when he was really small and he wanted to jump from something. I said, I want you to want to jump from there, but I can't let you. Yeah, I want you to be curious, I want you to climb. I want you to do those things. But I know the math of that jump and it's going to end poorly. So I have to say no. But there will be a day where I will say yes. So let's keep let's go find something you can jump.
From right now the room.
Yeah, this new psychology and is looking at the well being that your well being is really about feeling valued. And how is that different from being a human work in a relationship of any kind. Don't you just want to be valued?
Yeah, they're saying that parents, that just as we talk a lot about gratitude between right, but what we don't really talk a lot is about gratitude from child to parent. And what they've found in this recent survey, but they the one thing that they pointed out that they want to do future research into is that this is only about the perception about of gratitude, not how gratitude is given.
So it's really if I, as a father, do I feel gratitude from my kid, and then how does that correlate to my happiness in general?
So if your kids show you appreciation.
And gratitude, like the random hug that you would say, the.
Random hugs that I get from my dad, what are for my son? But what I also what made me think of is that was it until I hit my mid twenties that I started realizing all of the things that I thought my dad was being an apple about when I was younger, was actually for my own good. And I just started sending both my parents like random text messages or I would call them and say, I just want to thank you because now I get it, like now I understand it.
And they're in this.
Article they talked about there's adult children when you get those messages. So if you appreciate your parents and you listening to this, please go like send them thank yous. It means the world to them. And then and you can ask for your kids. That's what I'm trying to do. That's why I tell my kid like I could use a hug. And what I've noticed is my teenager who's thirteen, who was very aloof now constantly hanging on me what's to come and hug me. And I appreciate it, like
I enjoy it all the time. So I just had to make a conscious effort to validate that. And it seems like he also enjoys it. He likes the idea that he's always since he was a little kid. He loves to help people, right, that's a thing that so if he thinks that he's helping me by giving me a hug or talking to me about stuff, then everybody wins to go back to your point about you just have to like, there's a great speech. I'm blanking on the guy's name, but if you just google Shepherd, not
an engineer. It's an article a speech I found when I was doing a segment for this show, and it blew my mind as a parent, But because it talks about how there's like four hundred psychological traits your kids are born with that you can't change. And I'm wondering as an adopted parent, and that's just the first personnel.
Doctor Russell Barkley.
Look at that. I love it, Go Go Go.
So anyway is I wonder if just inherently without you even thinking about it, right, like you're just more accepting of who this kid is. Because sometimes I look at my kid's traits and I if I look at it and I worry about it for them, Like my older son has always had this concern about being perfect, and I feel like I gave that to him and so putting that barrier of like now I feel ashamed of it because it's a behavior I have, and I feel guilt because I've given it to him through no choosing
of his own. There's nothing he can do about that. I wonder if if he was my adopted son, if it would make me more open minded, Like I could get rid of that guilt and shame and I could just accept him as a person and treat him that way.
You know, that's part of the freedom.
I'm talking about it, Like you see them as an individual and not your byproduct, right, And so it's different. You really are going, hey, we're all partnership here. But you you know, and I explain to people often every single relationship, every family starts with adoption because unless you're in Alabama and you're marrying your sister, but every marriage is two people adopting, the judge coming into it and saying we're gonna blend and we're gonna find a way
to do this. So when you start learning those things, it's a powerful teaching tool. And also, you know, I'm an older parent, so I'm not I'm not in my twenties battling with my own garbage and my own selfishness and wants and desires against a child. You're gonna get different, You're gonna get different flavors. All have good ones and bad ones. But I would have had good ones and bad ones that were different when I was younger, and it's a fascinating trip. And part of me is part
scientists and the other part is punt. You know, crash test number.
Puts you back, also works. I was like, you see, like part of me is the guy in the lab.
That part of me is the guy in the lab putting the crash tap test dummy.
That is also you're building the car and then you're climbing in at yourself. O K, where's the cog freak pillars. Let's drive this thing into it. So the point is laugh with your kids and tell everybody thank you. That's the big takeaway.
You've been listening to the Gary and Shannon Show.
You can always hear us live on KFI AM six forty nine am to one pm every Monday through Friday, and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio Lap