"Embracing Forgiveness and Reconciliation" - September 21, 2008 - podcast episode cover

"Embracing Forgiveness and Reconciliation" - September 21, 2008

Nov 21, 202333 minSeason 2008Ep. 25
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Scripture: Various

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interpret one of Pharaoh's dreams, in fact two dreams that God gave Pharaoh. God said there's going to be seven years of plenty and seven years of famine and God arranged for Joseph to be the one put in charge of preparing Egypt for the tough times. Just so happens that all of this happened by God's plan so that the lost dreams that Joseph had might eventually be fulfilled. I want you to read about it with me in Genesis chapter

42 as we begin this morning. Genesis chapter 42 verse one of the chapter says, and Jacob learned that there was grain in Egypt. You see the famine that came to Egypt affected that whole region. It's very dependent upon rainfall. Miss rainfall for a season, you've got famine in that part of the world, at that time at least. So the famine affected Canaan where Jacob lived as well. And he said to his sons, why do you just keep looking at

each other? He continued, I have heard that there is grain in Egypt. Go down there and buy some for us so that we may live and not die. Well there was grain in Egypt because Joseph the son he thought was dead was in charge of the land of Egypt and had prepared the land by saving the grain ahead of time. And so the ten brothers went down to Egypt and it says in verse six, now Joseph was the governor of the land, the one who sold grain

to all its people. And so when Joseph's brothers arrived they bowed down to him with their faces to the ground. Interesting isn't it? And what was the dream that Joseph had? In fact two dreams, two of them confirming the fact of it, that's why God gave two, it was

that his brothers would bow down to him. And here we see the fulfillment of that dream and so when Joseph's brothers arrived they bowed down to him with their faces to the ground and as soon as Joseph saw his brothers he recognized them but he pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them. Where do you come from he asked? The land of Canaan to buy food they replied. Although Joseph recognized his brothers they did not recognize

him then he remembered his dreams. Here was an opportunity for Joseph to get revenge on his brothers and can you understand why that might have been a temptation? The other possibility is that Joseph could actually restore a relationship with them and he chose that route and in doing so reflected the heart of God. God calls you and me also, God calls us to restore broken relationships. Even in times when we would prefer to get revenge, to get even, God says

I call you to restore broken relationships. Putting together a broken relationship is what the Bible calls reconciliation. It's a common word we use also but it's a biblical word. It means to put together what's broken. I want to ask you something, is there a broken relationship in your life? Is there an estrangement be it in your family or someone that you've worked with perhaps in the past or someone in the church? Is there a broken relationship

that today God would have you focus on for healing? That's what I want to talk about. You see, even though we're the children of God, we still have a fallenness about us in our flesh and we live in a fallen world. We live amongst a race, we're part of a race that has lost its relationship with God. That's what that song that we just heard was about, that there is this great divide, there is this gulf that is between us and God. God

and our race needs to be reconciled and God has gone about that work. God has set the example. You see, reconciliation is God's work toward us in Christ. As 2 Corinthians 5 verses 18 to 19 say, all this is from God who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation. That is that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. We see some things about reconciliation

in these 2 verses, but also in the story of Joseph. And this morning we don't have time to look at the 4 chapters we're going to cover in detail. So we're going to have to take snapshots out of it in order to understand what God wants us to learn about reconciliation. The first thing that I believe God wants us to see is this, that reconciliation requires a foundation. It requires a foundation. There's sort of a cause effect argument involved here.

If having a relationship is the norm, then a breakdown in that relationship is caused by something. And to attempt to restore the relationship without dealing with the cause is futile. Not even God did that. What caused the break in our relationship with God? It was our sin. And these verses tell us that God went about dealing with our sin through Christ and his death. The cause for separation must be surfaced and dealt with, just as God

did. Now Joseph goes about laying a foundation for reconciliation with his brothers by surfacing the offense. To do this, he puts them through a series of tests. He wants them to answer some questions that are in his mind. And so on their very first visit to Egypt here in this chapter 42, he leads them to the point where they will self-confess what they have done to him in the past. You can read about it in verses 18 to 24. And so he sets up a

test for them. He says, I don't know if you people are honest. Now you've told me you've got a father and a younger brother. Go back home and bring the younger brother here. Now remember, the younger brother was Joseph's only full-blooded brother of Jacob's sons. The only other son of Jacob's most beloved wife, Rachel. His name was Benjamin. And so Joseph says, go bring the younger brother back here and to make sure you're going to

do that, I'm going to place under arrest this one. And it was Simeon. And he will be kept here until you get back. Joseph wanted to know, would they return for Simeon or would they give away another brother? It was a test. He's already led them to self-confession the first time. And they confess again as the story unfolds. But that's the first test. Would they return to Egypt for their brother or would they give away another brother? The

second test actually happened after they did return eventually with Benjamin. And Joseph arranged a meal for them. And he fed the brothers from his own table. And he gave Benjamin five times as much food as the rest of them. Think of this. He could eat five times as much as the rest of them. What Joseph wanted to know was this, second test, would they be jealous again of their brother? He put them through the test. The third test came when as they

were headed back home from this visit to Egypt, Joseph steward chased them down. Now before they had left, he had secretly not only placed all their money back into their sacks, but he had put Joseph's special cup, his silver cup, into Benjamin's sack, his green sack. And now the steward chases them down. He says, we're missing a cup in the house and we think one of you took it. And the brothers also, oh no, we would never do that. And when they

began to open the sacks, they found that it was in Benjamin's sack. And he had to take Benjamin back to pay for the crime, quote unquote. What Joseph wanted to know, when their brother was accused of something, would they be loyal and support their brother? Or would they send him back without any defense? You see the test? Then the fourth test occurs as they return back to Egypt with Benjamin under arrest. And Joseph says, I'm going to keep this one here because he broke the law. He took my

cup. But all the rest of you can go. And Judah, speaking for the whole clan, said, oh please, don't do that. That will kill our father. That will kill our father because we had another brother and he doesn't have him anymore. And now to lose this one, it will kill our father. What Joseph wants to know is, will they defend their brother? So you see, my point is this.

Before there can really be reconciliation, the offense has to be surfaced. And so Joseph puts his brothers through these tests to find out if they're really ready to deal with the offense. You see, reconciliation requires some time. It doesn't happen overnight normally. And sometimes it requires testing to show if there is even a foundation for reconciliation. Is the cause of the breach acknowledged? Can it even be dealt with?

Now there's something else I want you to see regarding reconciliation. The second thing is this. Reconciliation demands forgiveness. The next step toward reconciliation is forgiveness of the cause. The offense that caused the breach. Now here's what I'm going to say. You can forgive without reconciliation, but you cannot reconcile without forgiveness. I'll explain what I mean by that in a moment, but I want to repeat it. You can forgive without

there being reconciliation, but you cannot reconcile unless there is forgiveness. God is no longer counting men's sins against them. What is that? It's forgiveness. Thus there can be reconciliation. The biblical record suggests that Joseph had already, long before this, forgiven his brothers. You remember one of his sons was named Manasseh, which means forgotten or possibly forgiven. He had already framed the circumstances that had

come to him so unfair, the loss of everything he had known. He had already framed these circumstances with the words, God sent me here. And so I believe that Joseph had already forgiven his brothers for what they had done, long before they came to this day. Forgiveness is a choice that we make. You and I can forgive others for their offenses against us because God commands us to forgive and He would not command us to do something we cannot do. But

it's important to understand forgiveness correctly. There is misunderstanding regarding what forgiveness is. Neil Anderson in his book, Steps to Freedom in Christ, gives us some wonderful help in understanding real forgiveness. In the first place, when you forgive, you do not forget. You release. Now you may forget in time, but the fact is it's difficult for us to forget. And God Himself doesn't forget our sins. That expression is used in Psalms, but God

knows all things. He can't forget something. He chooses no longer to hold us accountable to it. He releases us from responsibility for what we've done. And that's what forgiveness is. Forgiveness means you choose to release the other person and not hold that offense against them. Secondly, when you forgive, what happens is that you release and when you release, you get out of God's way. Because you see, God will see to the justice of the

situation. If you have been offended, let God deal with it. He's the one who says, vengeance is what? Vengeance is mine. But when you and I are holding something against someone else, we are in God's way. And so God says, forgive. Release them from responsibility to you. And let me deal with it. And He will. Forgiveness also means that you agree to live

with the consequences of the offense. Now here's the reality. You are going to live with those consequences, whether you choose to do that in the freedom of forgiveness or in the bondage of bitterness. And when you forgive someone else, you choose to live with the consequences, to pay the price of the pain that you feel was caused by the offense against you. By the way, that's exactly what God did when He sent His Son to suffer for

our sins. That's what the cross is about. God chose Himself to deal with the consequences of our offense against Him. Finally, you do not wait for the other person to forgive. They don't have to repent first. The fact is that forgiveness is for your sake, not for them. It's for your sake. So that you can release yourself from that emotional bondage and attachment to the offense and go on with your life. Forgiveness doesn't guarantee reconciliation.

You need to know that. But it does promise freedom, freedom for you from the bondage of bitterness. Unforgiveness robs you of peace and joy in your life. Bitterness is a root sin that goes down deep into the soul and it bears all kinds of ugly fruit in the life. In her book, Living Beyond Yourself, author and speaker Beth Moore recalls a particularly insightful moment in her own life. She writes, I will never forget an evening talk show featuring

the story of the parents and a killer of a young college student. The killer was his best friend and the weapon had been high alcohol content inside of a speeding automobile. She goes on to say, what made this particular feature prime time viewing? The parents had forgiven the young driver, that is the one who had killed their son. And that was not enough, she writes. They had taken him in as their own son. This young man sat at the

table in the chair that was once occupied by their only son. He slept in the son's bed. He worked with the victim's father, teaching seminars on safety. He shared their fortune and supported their causes. He spoke about the one he had slain in ways only someone who knew him intimately could have. Why did these parents do such a thing? Because it gave them peace. She goes on to say, the interviewer was amazed and I was amazed. I kept trying

to put myself in the parent's position, but I could not. Then as the tears streamed down my cheeks, I heard the Spirit of God whisper to my heart, this is Beth Moore writing now, to my heart and say, no wonder you cannot relate. You've put yourself in the wrong position. You, my child, are the driver. She says, God was the parent who not only forgave but also invited me to sit at his table in the space of my Savior he left for me. And

as a result, I have peace. Forgiveness. There's a third thing we want to see about reconciliation that is exemplified in Joseph, and that is that reconciliation releases feelings. I don't want to spend a long time on this, but you will notice several times in this story, if you're familiar with it, if you're not, I encourage you to read it this afternoon. But you will notice several times it says that Joseph wept. He wept. And he embraced his

brothers and they embraced him. You know, the popular image of a strong person is that of being stoic, unreserved and unfeeling. But that is not God. That isn't God. Jesus told about a man whose son wished him dead and took half of his inheritance and ran off and wasted it. We call him the prodigal. And when that prodigal who had wished his father dead and who had wasted already his inheritance, when he came home, it says the father felt

compassion for him and ran and embraced and kissed him. That is the heart of God. And that's the emotion that reconciliation begins to release in us. You see, unforgiveness and bitterness dries us up at the core. We not only feel no peace, we have no joy and we have a hard time expressing love. But when we reconcile the broken relationships, what

happens is that those emotions begin to be released again. Jesus says there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents, one sinner who is reconciled to God and their joy breaks out in heaven. Joy is a part of God's image in us as human beings, but bitterness and living with wounded feelings and broken relationships shrivels us on the inside. Reconciliation begins to release those emotions. I want to get to the

fourth thing that we see about reconciliation in Joseph's narrative is this. The reconciliation produces fruit, wonderful fruit in the life. I've just suggested one, but there are some more that we see. For example, the outcome of Joseph being reconciled to his brothers is communication. Joseph and his brothers once again begin to talk. He talks to them, they receive what he has to say, the hatred is gone, the bridge is there now. They're

able to talk with Joseph. There's a friendship that replaces the prior hostility and estrangement. There's communication. Secondly, there is hope. Joseph says, look, God sent me ahead of you to save you. That's what this is all about. Don't beat yourselves up because of this. It's God who's working because God has a plan for our family. God has something in the future. And these guys who thought their family was going to die out because

of famine suddenly realize, hey, there's hope for the future. God is at work for us. Hope comes with reconciliation. And then Joseph, he just sends back lavishly stuff for his father who's still back home in Canaan yet. He loads up camels and mules and they take off, donkeys rather, and they take off with this stuff to give his father. There's generosity. When you and I reconcile with somebody, we can be generous and gracious like God wants

us to be. And the fourth result I see is that of peace. There's no need to blame or pick at anyone anymore. And Jacob, this old man who is back in Canaan and now thinking he's lost his other most beloved son, Benjamin, finally hears that Joseph is alive. And not only does he have Benjamin back, but he's got Joseph. And he can go see his son. And it's been 22 long years that he has believed that Joseph was dead and grieved every day

for that boy. And now this old man has peace in his heart. He knows that before he dies, he's going to see Joseph face to face and hold him and embrace him. Peace. I want to ask you something. If those are the four results that we see in the narrative, what do you think the results of the reconciliation we have with God are? Well, look at this verse, Romans 5. Look at the text that we're going to throw up on the screen. Romans chapter

5, placed in juxtaposition, slide 23. Hello. Let me read it to you. Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, thank you, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in hope with the glory of God. I want you to notice that we have the same results. We have peace because of our reconciliation with God. We've got communication. We've gained

access into this grace of God. Access means the right to come boldly into the presence of. We have communication with God. We have generosity. There's grace. God's abundant, wonderful grace in our lives. We stand in that. That's our permanent position. It can't change. We have hope, the hope of the glory of God. Isn't that wonderful? These wonderful fruits of reconciliation are found in our reality because we've been reconciled to

God through Jesus Christ. That brings me to ask the question, have you experienced that reconciliation? God has done everything that he can do to make that possible by sending his son to the cross for you. He's built the bridge across the great divide. Now, will you walk across that bridge by faith in Jesus Christ and be reconciled to God and have the wonderful fruit in your life that we've just talked about? Like Joseph, reconciliation

may be God's gateway to realizing your lost dreams too. I don't know how that may be, but it's possible. And if so, don't miss the opportunity to experience God's best, his dreams for you and his plan for you. Don't miss it by remaining estranged from others in your life. You can almost hear somebody say, well, I would, but it's up to them. Oh, no, that's not right. Aren't you glad God didn't take that view? Well, I would reconcile

with them, but it's up to them. They want to get back with me. No, God took the first step and sent his only begotten son. What I encourage you to do is to pray for a time of reconciliation. Pray for God to prepare that time. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it could be next week or next month, especially if you pray and ask God to prepare the way and the time for reconciliation. When it comes, when that time comes, then boldly take the

step and as you remember, as you do rather, remember the cross. Remember the cross where God was willing to pay the price for the offense all by himself so that we could be reconciled to him. God has demonstrated a reconciliation that could hardly be comprehended, and yet you and I as his children are called upon to live in harmony and experience reconciliation with others, never to perpetuate separation and broken relationships. Why is this so important?

It's so important because God has called us as his people to live in oneness with each other and with others in our world. God has called us to live in oneness in our marriages. God has called us to live in oneness in our families. God has called us to live in oneness in our Bible studies, our small groups, in our church contexts. And when that oneness isn't there, it grieves the Holy Spirit. Ephesians chapter four says, and do not grieve the Holy

Spirit by whom you are sealed to the day of redemption. He went down a few phrases and he says, and be compassionate toward one another, forgiving each other, just as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you already, the cross. And in light of that cross, I can take that step. I can be willing to bear the consequences of the offense for Jesus' sake in order that I might establish new relationship and be reconciled to those from whom I feel estranged.

Are you willing to do that today? To allow the Holy Spirit to give you the strength and the timing? You have to commit to it and say, Lord, I will do it. He says, accept one another. Just as God has accepted you. Let's pray together. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there's peace. There's love. And there's comfort and light and life and help and power. But where the Spirit of the Lord is grieved, these things are missing. Are you experiencing those in

your life today? Is there a broken relationship that is right on the surface of your mind? You cannot miss it this morning because the Spirit of God is pointing right to that and you know exactly who's involved and he's telling you right now what you need to do. Will you do it? Lord, I pray that you will give us this morning humility, obedience, faith, a deep desire to live in oneness with others. And wherever we find a broken relationship,

Lord, let us go about your work of bringing healing and restoration there. And this I pray in Christ's name, the one who reconciled us to you. Amen.

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