Episode 206 - Worst Episode Ever!

Hello everyone. We have a very important message. This goes up to everyone listening.

Before we start this episode, we must tell you, this

is a public service announcement. It's

one of our worst we just finished recording and we were like, wow, we haven't put out an episode that bad since the dawn of time, early, early days of fun.

We got to about the 30 minute mark, and we were like, should we restart? But then we finished it,

and we were like,

No,

I'm too tired. It's late Thursday night. Leila has school tomorrow,

and we don't feel like it, and

we have a couple of 16 hour days ahead of us, so we won't have an opportunity to record any who,

any who enjoy one,

enjoy the episode, the episode and, Oh, we didn't even say Happy Halloween to everybody.

Happy Halloween. Wait. We'll be here next week. That's about when Halloween

is it'll be fine anyway.

Happy week before Halloween. Here's

the show

that was like, immediate we're back. Hopefully none of that cuts out.

You'll be fine.

Guess who's back?

Back again, we only missed a week. Welcome to Fun Fact Friday. We're a weekly podcast for, well, sometimes weekly podcast where we discuss facts surrounding a different topic. It's not what we're doing to this episode, but we'll talk about that after the intro music, as if on cue. It's like I've heard that song before and I knew how long it had left, we

should have said right after this, like, we're gonna have a sponsor right

right after this message from our sponsor, the earth,

favorite place to go, the

best planet I've been on, yeah, um, that's also the worst. You

said that you were the best dad I've ever had to someone the other

day, oh, thank you. They were like, have you had

more than one dad, and I'm

like, No, well, yeah, some folks do Yeah. So Yeah. Last week, we were just too busy. We were trying to eke out 45 minutes to run out to the studio and get an episode. There was none. It just didn't happen. We were going non stop. Last week, Leila had stuff after school stuff, school stuff, and it just, we, yeah, yeah. And if we had canned episodes, we could

It was a.com

somebody don't have their certificates properly done. This episode

is kind of not factual, but it is fun.

It is fun. We're going with more on the fun side this episode, we're gonna be talking about old jokes. As you could probably tell from the title,

we've never really done that. We've never been fun with it, right? We've never tried

to be fun on the show. Yeah, the fun thing, the fun was, like a click bait thing, get folks in. But, yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna have a lot of fun on this one. We decided we were gonna go back and look at jokes, and we say old jokes. I'm not talking about like the 80s. I'm talking about like, you know, BC, yeah, all the way back. And we have found some, some very interesting changes in the way humor is the difference

is what I that's what I come home to like yesterday, he was like, I got a topic. I

got a top. I want to tell some old jokes that don't even make sense these days. He was talking. He found a book of puns from the 1800s and none of like, none of the puns made sense, just because we don't, we don't talk like that anymore. And there was like, slang back in the day. Yeah. So you know, things as things change, puns don't hold up as well as, like, you know, narrative jokes do some narrative jokes don't hold up at all either. For example, one of the ones that was, was, I

to start using very large words, oh, that's,

that is one of the I was listening to some comedians talk, and they were talking about, if you want to be very funny in the moment, a lot, expand your vocabulary, your vernacular, yes, yeah. And what? Because when you say a word that somebody doesn't expect, it can be funny because it's that's a lot of what humor is is subversion of expectation.

Some new kid in my class said, Oh my days, Oh my days. And I've started saying that, Oh my days.

There's some, there's some funny old old words. Yeah, I've heard that before, but I haven't ever heard a young person say it. I love it. So the first walks into a bar. Joke that's recorded is from somewhere between 4500 BC and 1900 BC. They're not really exactly sure on the date. And here's here's how it goes. Are you ready

two peanuts walk into a bar. What was the salted? No,

that is, uh, that's your mother's favorite joke of all, it is, if

you don't know,

multiple times. Yeah. So this one is a dog walked into a tavern and said, I can't see a thing, I'll open this one. So that that probably fall. A dog walked into a tavern and said, I can't see a thing. I'll open this one so it's either related to the way of life. Hold on, a tavern is a bar. How do you not like Moe's tavern from The Simpsons.

I don't know who Moe is. Give me some Moe like, no,

oh my gosh.

Who made this one?

Buster rhymes, yeah,

the ones the island.

He has an island named after, yeah, I don't remember what episode that's on.

You'll figure but yeah,

so why don't you, why don't you pull up a joke and explain exactly what it means.

What do you call men who hate long sentences?

What do you call men who hate looks?

I don't know, criminals.

No, my when is that from?

This is from 18th to 19th century. Oh, okay,

that that that was pretty clever.

Pretty still holds up today. Oh,

here we go. Here we go. Episode 189, to around a 25 minute mark, 26 Well, 2632 for this clip, let's see if my transcripts are just working.

Where is it? Hold on. I Okay. Massachusetts is home to Busta Rhymes island. So there's an island in Massachusetts. Would you say like, 40 feet?

40 foot by 40 foot, yeah,

and it's named Busta Rhymes island. There was this dude that visited it, and it was like, Yo, I think Busta Rhymes would really like it here. True story, true story,

true story. Yeah, so Buster Adams Island is it is a thing.

What can you fill a barrel with to make it lighter?

Nothing, holes. Holes.

Yeah. Okay, let me

find Yeah. That's like a riddle from something I can't remember. That's from Leila. Leila has got a lot of Shakespearean insult. I do wait where she's a fan of those. But we'll do those all at one and one go, I'm gonna run through real quick the No, that's, that's not, that's not what I want to run through, where's Oh no. Funniest joke from every decade in the 1900s and the first one, it's like, it's not so much. It's like a funny thing, but it's not like a joke.

I thought that it was about women suffering for a long Yeah. There's a lot of

man on the street videos where guys go up to Yeah, guys go up to women and say, oh, you know, we're wanting to end women's suffrage. Would you sign our petition? Like, oh my gosh, yes, absolutely. And they don't know what it means, yeah. So this is from someone and Anne Howard Shaw. Anna Howard Shaw, speaking at the women's suffrage movement, said a man opposed to their enfranchisement once said to me, women have never produced anything of value in the world. I told him, the Chief Product of

be the grandmother. Okay, this

is from the 1910s All right. So the grandma says, How useless

girls aren't today. I don't believe you know what needles are for. Sorry, I can't read all my glasses on

how absurd you are grandma. Of course, I know what needles are for. They're there to make the gramophone play

the crap. Sorry, gramophone. Graph of phone graphophone

Is it says gramophone. That's the joke. That's from the onlooker 1915 in Foley, Alabama.

I love graph like, whatever that what is it? A graph phone, graph

of phone. That's a graph of phone, that's a graph of phone. It's a record player. They

just look so absurd to me. It looks like this, like probably use the web really janky perspective photos. Hold on. Oh, I don't

know what you're talking about. That that could be so many things. Leila,

there's some photos of, like, people with their hands, like up, but it's just like their hand and it like, goes down into, like, a little dot, pretty much.

I'm not no idea.

I'll put in the chapters real quick. All right, yeah, find

one. Yeah. I'm gonna go with the 1920s This is from WC Fields, an American comedian, and I'm gonna, I'm looking at this guy's face. I'm gonna try and do a voice that matches his face. Once during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. Wait,

which one's the right one should

be this one. Yeah. Once during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. So this guy's talking into a microphone. So I probably could find a recording of that if I tried hard enough. Do you think I should pause the episode and do that? Or no that I

found some of the the link that I had earlier and wasn't the one that I wanted, huh? Are you still looking for an image? No, I'm looking at Shakespearean crap. I'll find the image later,

alrighty. He

calls people egg. He called he called someone an egg. I thought that was kind of kind of silly with him. He said, like, what you egg? I can't remember where that's let me find it. Talk. Oh my gosh, I'm trying to

just slap me. Be like, be like, talk. So in the 1930s we got Will Rogers, a Great Depression era humorist. We're the first nation in the history of the world to go to the poor house in an automobile. That's kind of, kind of, I'm not gonna get political.

Oh, wow. A lot of these you don't know what they mean until you read the explanation on them. Yeah, there's

not any explanations on this best life site. It just has the joke and then a stock image from one of the stock image sites. I

like the let's meet as little as we can. Okay, thanks, beer. That's from,

like it as you like it. The, well, what's the one? Much Ado About Nothing is very funny. There's a very good movie of that had Denzel Washington and Keanu Reeves and Kiefer Sutherland. There's a really good, good version of that one and one second, I'm

a joke. What

you only caught the last word of that? I paused. I had to

call I meant to say an opposite thing, but he made a Obama joke. Oh,

and Shakespeare did, yeah, what do you want to go ahead and do that. Do you want me to do 1940s in the 1940s and I think you'll, you might, you might catch what's going on in this one, a man walks into the records office and asks to change his name. The clerk is not keen on helping, but asks the man's name, and the man replies, my name is Adolph stink foot. The clerk is sympathetic and decides to allow the man to change his his unfortunate name. What do you want to change it?

so funny.

Yeah, humor changes.

Yeah, there you go. Number 48 on this list is she speaks, yet she says nothing from Romeo and Juliet. I like that. I.

That happens a lot. Yeah, and translations on

here. I don't like the translation, sir, and like, what, what like a boomer would think modern English is? Oh, no, really, yes.

Yeah, the she speaks and says nothing is like, say, 90% of the podcasts out there, not ours, yeah, fun. And we speak

and we say it. We're

like our thing, little companions here,

yes, thing, it's like the opposite of nothing. It's like

nevermind. Yeah, yes, thing and no, everything,

you could just say everything, I forgot that everything existed.

So 19, going back to the 1950s Senator McCarthy is going to disclose the names of 2 million communists. He just got his, oh, he just got his hands on a Moscow telephone book. That was Bob Hope. Bob Hope's got some funny bits that one. Not so much. In my opinion. It's like, I don't know. Let's see. I'm gonna, I'm gonna read this one before I because there's one. What do you got?

I lost it. Okay, I do wish thou were a dog, that I might love thee so he's like, I would love you more if you were a dog.

Is that? Is that what it Yeah,

well, this translation says, let's face it, a dog is better and more lovable than you. I hate super translations on his website. They're

so, so what do you think if you were to translate it into more modern English? I

already said that. Okay, I said, if you were a dog, you'd be more lovable than he was a human.

Oh, gotcha, that's what you listen to me. No, I was, but like, my brain didn't, didn't say, Oh, this is the translation that Leila thinks today. Let's see 1960s this is supposed to be the funniest joke in the 1960s by Robert Orban. Says, I still can't see why it costs a quarter of a billion dollars to send a camera to Mars. What's it going by cab?

That's the funniest

joke in the 1960s for an entire decade, people were telling jokes, comedy clubs, writing books, writing TV series is and that's the funniest thing that was said in the 1960s said in the 1960s I don't think that it was,

well, obviously you weren't in the 1960s I was there, and that was the funniest thing I'd ever heard. I've just heard it way too many times.

No, this one's pretty funny. It's a little political. 1970s when they were when Mark Russell was speaking to Richard Nixon. You tourists should be careful when you visit the White House, so much is swept under the rug that you might hit your head on the ceiling, because Nixon had a whole lot of scandals. Had a whole lot of stuff going on, Watergate. You can look into that if you want to later. I'm sure you'll learn about it in high school, more of

your conversation would infect my brain.

More of your conversation would infect my brain. What's that from? I

don't even know how to say that. Jurio lenis, point

to it 18.

Sorry, there you go.

I don't

I got you pronunciate, pro pronounciate, oh, I spelled pronunciate. Copy paste, copy paste, copy paste. Riveting show content you should probably be talking

really. Oh, making you get, like, fill the dead coriolinis, yes. Okay, so Ronald Reagan. Ronald Reagan had some really good one line, you know, zingers and one one liners while he was running for president and while he was in office, this one in the 1980s I've laid down the law, though, to everyone from now on, about anything that happens, no matter what time it is, wake me, even if it's in the middle of a Cabinet meeting, just commenting on See, that's okay. He had much funnier stuff

You literally just said that. That's the best site you'd found for this.

Well, that's because I didn't look very hard. I could tell. Okay, great site the 19 the 1990s Jerry Seinfeld, love that guy. What's the deal with airplane peanuts? That's the funniest joke in the 90s, according to the site. What like the first one? I was like, Oh, great. This is Ellen DeGeneres. Okay, so in the 2000s

Why'd you pick the site? It

has Ellen DeGeneres. I can see Russia from my house Tina Fey as Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live. You can see the stretch of liberty from here. What? That.

What do you want? I feel like a deer in the headlights of love. You could stop at five or six stores or just one. Oh, you're talking about that. I don't need friends. They disappoint me. You should.

You should put that in the show notes. See the Statue of Liberty from here, there's a YouTube video where there are, I guess they're audition. I think it's an audition commercial, or it's a gag, and they're making it look like it's an audition, like a comedy troupe or something, but

it's like a whole bunch of people coming in saying, you could stop at five or six doors or just one, and then saying something like, completely ridiculous, yeah, saying, like, some of the stuff that I just said, and then striking a pose and doing a dance. Their

poses are all ridiculous. Go, go to the show notes. Watch the video. It's, please do.

It's, let me find it. They find it. I

normally make it about halfway through before I stop. It's a little long. Yeah, I'm normally four minutes. I'm like, okay, I get it, and then I'm done.

Best fit very fun stuff. Here I'm putting the shorter version. If you want to, like, watch the longer version, I'll put it. No, I'm not putting it, but I'm putting the sort of okay talk.

I'm doing work right now. Okay,

okay, okay, okay, hold on, hold on, hold on I got you.

I'm really enjoying making you sweat. What

do you call a tumbler full of whiskey?

I don't know. What do you drunken gymnast? Oh, my God. I

like that 19th century. I love that list, actually, so I put it you could

stop. So here's, here's another bad one. It's from the 1920s it's, oh no, sorry, no. It's from a book from the 1920s but it was actually written in the fourth or fifth century. They found they anyway, a student, dunce, went swimming and almost drowned, so now he swears he'll never get into water until he's learned to swim.

Okay, that's the joke. This is a statement.

Yo, my friend, my friend, Tim, he almost drowned, and he doesn't know how to swim, so he kind of, he wants to get better at that. That's really what that just said. That's what it translated to in my head.

Oh my gosh,

I'll beat the but I would infect my hands. More Shakespeare, more Shakespeare. I like the Shakespeare

ones go down the list of Shakespeare ones. Yeah, you gotta try to keep it clean.

There's small choice in rotten apples,

yeah. I mean, that's just, is

that all you got

that's just a truth. There's a, there's a good one from ancient Greece. It says, um, it was from a king. And said, asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied in silence. And that's impossible. Now, I mean, unless you're paying a lot and you tell the person, look, I don't want you to talk to me. I just want, I just, I just want my hair cut. Because I haven't had my hair cut in a long time because little known fact,

he's bald, I'm bald.

And I just, I just use my tremors at home. I just clip, clip, clip, right? And however, I did go to a barber because she was a friend of mine from a long time ago, and she's like, Yeah, I'm cutting hair down. And I was like, Yeah, I'm bald. And she's like, Yeah, but I'll, like, I'll trim up your beard. We'll do the, like, the beard massage thing with the oil. And I'm Oh,

It's kind of hard to not talk because it's such a long time, and it's kind of like a no thing. It's

a social event. I get it and you're doing it, but this girl, and I love her, she's great girl, but it was, have you listened to a podcast or a YouTube channel where they cut out any gap where somebody's not speaking less than like, if the gap is longer than point against, what

that exactly, we don't cut anything out. We literally hit the go button and

we go. As you might tell from this episode, it's been a mess. It is. I'm

tired, he's tired. We're both. We're both. Yeah,

the the busyness of last week is just as

the busyness of the next couple of days for me.

Yeah. We're actually super busy until probably the middle of November, right? Yeah, it's very exciting. And there's, oh, wait, here's a Shakespeare fart joke. You want to be the clown or the musician?

I'll be the

clown. All right, be the clown.

Are these? I pray you wind instruments.

Hey, Mary, are they, sir?

Oh, thereby hangs a tail,

whereby hangs a tail, sir,

Mary, sir. By Mary, a wind instrument that I know, huh,

it's the Okay, the wind instrument that he knows is, about as a booty, okay? And there's a tail hanging by the tails. I see wearing a tail, and then, because you wear tails, it's part of a man's suit, like a tuxedo. Tuxedo has tails, all right? Maybe it makes more sense in context, yeah, oh my gosh. So listen, everybody, this isn't our best episode, if you're just finding it good, if you're just joining in, or you're just this is your first episode you've heard. This is not our normal content.

Sorry guys. So tired. We are tired. We're trying to get the best content out to you currently.

So the the very first, Oh, wow. The Nope, can't say that one. The very first joke in English is from the 10th century, from an Anglo Saxton poetry book, and it is inappropriate.

Not a T in that. What word?

Yeah, Saxton. I know I said Sexton. Again, tired, we apologize, and we're gonna, we're just, we're, you know what? I think, I think we just, just cut and run. We're at 26 minutes, all right. Wait,

which word may be pronounced quicker by adding another syllable,

value for value.

Answer my question quickly

or no?

Quick,

oh my gosh, and adding another syllable or taking one which word

may be pronounced quicker by adding another syllable. Quick, yes, what you what word would be pronounced by

adding another syllable? Yeah, I get it because the word quick. If you add a syllable to that, you get quicker specifically, yeah, you're right. So we got a boost, which is a value for value podcast. We put the show out for free. If you receive any value from it, let us know in any way you see fit. One of the ways you can do that is boost in a modern podcast app, hit that boost button and send us some

it's got a taste.

It has a flavor. So, medium heat,

yeah, it's not that bad. Medium I quite like it. Well, we

might, we might buy, not buy, right? Yeah, we might buy another box of it and sell it, do another sale. It's just the shipping costs are so much to send it to the person, it makes it very expensive. Yeah, but we did get a boost. We got a boost from Kevin hallacy, Ryan was a fallacy, and that's a constitution boost. 1789 1789 1789 Satoshis. And the note says, Constitution boost fun show, though it inspires despair at the quality of our public schools. Now that's talking

that I am dumb? Are you saying that I don't know my con, my my citizenship? Are you saying that I don't know my government? Because I don't. You wouldn't you think I know anything about the government?

You know? You know more than most at your age. I'm guessing. I'm guessing you went with us to vote. We went and did early voting because it's much easier to do. There's like, eight different locations we can go to in our county. They

did not cheat off each other. No, we, I keep my kept their eyes on their own paper. My

votes is my secret. But you know, I got both the stickers. I think if you Yeah, I didn't. I didn't care about the sticker. I voted. Well, one of those people. Tweets or Toots or whatever, and I got a sticker, you know. So anyway, thank you so much. Kevin hallasy, and we appreciate the 1789 take

it as a what do you call it? What's the opposite of a compliment insult? Yeah, yeah.

No, I think, I think, I think you've got a pretty good handle on because, because I'm always ranting and raving about the way things work

and everything, I think I see what he's saying though.

Oh yeah, we could go back and listen to the whole episode on this episode, though. I'll pat out the time some sure

right now. We'll just clip it in

everybody. We know this episode was a mess. We got a lot going on right now, but we wanted to say hi and

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