64: Proposing the LS to your partner

Welcome to our lifestyle podcast, Friends with a Twist. I'm Kenzie. I'm exploring this ethically non-monogamous lifestyle with my husband, Gary. I'm Madison, and I've been having swinging fun with my husband, Barry, for 10 plus years. We are best friends, but we also have a twist. We like finding friends who are sexually confident and free, just like us. Join us as we discuss and share stories, tips, and husbands.

this podcast will contain sexually explicit material if you are under 18 we are not the friends for you find a new podcast Hey, we'll bring it back. Bring it back for episode 64. 64? What? Oh my gosh. Welcome to what's going to be an amazing episode, I promise, of Friends with a Twist. I am Madison. That's a big promise. One half of this dynamic duo joined by my favorite co-host. and only co-host.

Yay, I win. Kenzie. Hello, hello. So thank you for listening to this episode. If you're new, this might not be the best place to start. But hey, jump right in. We're happy to have you. Episode eight, we really had it together. Start there. It'll be good. I have no idea. So this episode, Kenzie, why don't you share what we will be talking about? It's good stuff.

Why don't I? So our episode always has various segments. We are going to get it started with sharing what's new with us in our Chick Chat segment. You know, because it's two chicks. So we're going to chat about what's new with each of us. Then we have Life in the Lifestyle, where we will address a question that we get asked often. And that is...

How to discuss trying the lifestyle with your partner. So maybe it's on your mind. You don't really know or you don't think that it's on your partner's mind, but you want to have the conversation. How the... flying F do you do that? We're going to try to offer some information to help with that. We'll try to break it down. And then lastly, we will wrap it up in usual fashion with our...

going deep segment where you hear a sexy story from one of us. And this episode, we are in for a treat because we're going to hear an interesting light play foursome story from Miss Madison.

in that going deep segment do you like all those words i used to describe this very descriptive yeah i'm hopeful that i don't know i think the story should go along with the theme of being new to the lifestyle and it's just again a good reminder that not all interactions in this space have to end in sex indeed but i promise it'll still be a little spicy and hot so

Don't leave us too soon. Just the way we like it. All right. So we are going to get the Chick Chat segment started, as we always do, with a freshly poured fireball shot. Thank you, Gary. Fireball. Cheers. Cheers. Ah, spicy. Okay, you know what? This is our third or fourth and it's tasting better now. Not as spicy zingy. That's so good stuff. Yeah. So that might've been fireball, fireball number four. I don't know. Three.

Let's just say three. Anyway, we've just been hanging out for a little bit at Kenzie and Gary's little backyard porch patio area. Yeah. Getting in the mood to record this episode. Yeah. Getting a little loosened up with some drinks and spicy. And it's finally not raining here in Pennsylvania. It's been a little warm. I think this is the final day of decent weather. Yeah. Go fucking figure. I know. I think we go back to rain. But yeah, we're recording this on Friday the 13th.

spooky that's not the right sound is it yeah not I don't know I can't do either um but yeah no we just been hanging out today I don't even know what day it is I think it's Friday yeah it's Friday the 13th that's right it all fucking blurs it's been a fucking week it's been a long week vanilla work shit and yes it honestly just feels so good to have madison and barry here we had a nice little dinner outside we have

Yes. Had some shots, having a couple drinks. A variety of meat. Yeah. Big meat. We got our pups here that are becoming besties and we're just having a good little evening. So good. So good. So good. We're going to share all of this goodness with you. So on that note, Madison, would you like to start us off and share with our friends here what's new with you and Barry? Yes. Not...

A lot of super sexy, sexy fun stuff, but I'm going to, all right, I'm just going to start off with the shit thing. So Barry and I, I forget, it was a week or two ago, we had plans to meet a single male. We had been chatting with this guy on SLS for quite a while. Very attractive, local to us. Nice. Just seemed like he worked a lot and things didn't align.

We randomly not long ago had a free weekend. We messaged him. We're like, this is probably a long shot. It's very last minute. We're free tonight. You want to get together? Yeah. He didn't get back to us till the next day. Obviously didn't work out. So then a week later, we saw him posting a hot date.

and we're like yes okay we're free let's reach out bro here we are so we're like hey um if you're still free we're interested in maybe meeting for drinks see how it goes even if we just hang out and chat yeah we're interested And then I think he got back to us saying, like hours later, saying he had to see if his schedule would work for that night. Like he had to see if his schedule would open up or something or if he was actually available. Hmm. You posted the hot date.

Yeah. Number one. And then we started looking into things further and we're like, is he actually like a part of a couple and this is a secret thing? Because if he had plans with another couple, I feel like he would have just said, sorry, I already made plans. Right. Connection. Yeah. Fine. Which is a totally reasonable thing. So.

I don't know, but obviously it didn't work out, so that was disappointing. Just another freaking fail. Why waste your time stringing people along? Yeah, what the hell? You reach out twice in a row, you think it could happen, and it doesn't. So that was disappointing. I don't know. Barry and I still had a fine night together. So good. That should always be most important. Yes. So beyond that fail, we do have something set in stone. God forbid. Knock on wood. Tomorrow.

hopefully nothing changes we do finally have a date with another couple that we planned like two months ago what we're gonna do is get together with them at a hotel and it's we're just gonna do our own little hotel party just the four of us nice her and i she's actually been Great with texting me ahead of time. Normally I hate.

small talk but she's been like I tell you like just very purposeful with the text like it's not just stupid like hey how are you it's like how's your day hi would you like to do this or what works for you is this time okay do you want to split this room I was like beautiful

beautiful conversation today she messaged me and said like can we get the awkward stuff out of the way like what are your likes dislikes rules you just want to talk about the unsexy stuff right now just so it's not weird I'm like great idea yes blah blah blah sure so

It sounds like we're on the same page. We're not being presumptuous, but I mean, if you're going to meet out and you're not at a party, why not meet at a hotel? If it's going to go down that road potentially, you might as well. So we have a nice little suite and I'm hoping that... We're going to bring lingerie and some toys and drinks and just hopefully have our own fun tomorrow night. So I hope I have a fun story from that. And if nothing else, I hope...

We can remind you that it's just fun to meet new people in this space and you can just hang in a hotel room and still have fun regardless. All right. Give us like one example. Like what was something you're like, yes, this is good or like this is no thank you. Oh, like the likes and dislikes? Sure, yeah. Something like the unsexy stuff. Honestly, it's not really unsexy. I guess it's just awkward to talk about in person. So I just said we don't really have a lot of strong, strict rules.

or dislikes but i said barry's not into like guy guy direct play but yes of course if we're all together and oh their legs touch or this or that like it's fucking fine yeah good with that and then i said i'm good with girl girl stuff and like we're good with the soft the swap the full swap same room which would be separate play whatever like we're pretty go with the flow like easy um but then she wrote back that she just wasn't into

butt stuff with other people and i was like oh my god yes i'm not into butt stuff with other people too perfect so right i don't we laughed about that and um so yeah there will not be any butt play with this session well good to know good to know I feel like that takes a good amount of trust and maybe not on the first official session with somebody. Yeah, I would agree. Yeah. But if you want to, do it. No judgment. Judgment-free zone. Planet Fitness.

So hopefully I have a good story from there. And then lastly, Barry and I have been doing a lot of vanilla traveling. Super exciting. I'm not going to bore you with all the details on this podcast, but the sexy part of it all is that we definitely took advantage of taking sexy photos in all these cool hotels and even a castle that we stayed at. We fucked in a castle. We got down and dirty.

historical places not inappropriately not disrespectfully in our rooms but like we just why not take advantage on any vacation and yeah take these sexy photos for your partner For your podcast, for your Instagram, whatever. And just have fun memories. Oh, good. After a full vanilla day. So. Yeah. We had some good times together. And hopefully this summer, if it ever warms up, we'll have some more sexy, fun pool time stories.

God, I hope so. Maybe next year. Oh, I know. The pool is just like an ice bath right now. Like, what the hell? Yeah. Fucking Pennsylvania. It'll get better. But...

And I know we kind of caught up a little bit before recording, but we haven't seen you and Gary for a heck of a long time. It feels like a month, I guess. So what have you guys been up to? Oh, you know, a little of this, a little of that. Great. All right, next segment. Yeah, let's go. No, I think what I will devote sort of my allotted time here to is talking a little bit about

the Libertine event that Gary and I went to in Miami back in May. Oh my gosh, it feels like forever ago. It does. So there Gary and I were in Miami at the event hosted by Kate. of the Wanderlust Swinger podcast. She does events all over the damn place. And we were lucky enough to join in Miami in May. First and foremost, I have to say kudos to Kate because it was just like the most well-organized, well-run event that I've seen in the lifestyle.

Maybe ever. Wow. She just like had everything so well like planned and thought out and organized. It was just amazing. She had offered these live sessions ahead of the event that people could like log in for. And she talked a little bit about what to expect, what was going to be happening, like different things about kind of what to pack or what to expect, which I thought was amazing as somebody who was going to this.

the first time at one of her events, I found it super helpful. And I would think if it was your first time going to any sort of lifestyle event, it would be equally helpful to kind of have that extra. whatever, like layer of information. So I thought that was really awesome that she took the time to do that. Something else that Gary and I noticed, which isn't specifically unique to the Libertine events.

Having everybody there for the same number of days for the most part, I think really helped us all sort of connect with each other. And I mean, I could have said this about... pod bash too, but it just never really clicked. You know, when you go to somewhere like a desire or temptation, You're there on your first day and you meet somebody awesome, but it's their last day there. And it's like, shit sucks. Yeah. But with an event like this, you're all there for the same amount of time.

And I feel like it just kind of helped us kind of connect with people, which again, I mean, obviously you can't always control that, but it just kind of worked out nice. We were at a hotel in Miami Beach. So if you've ever been, you probably already know what I'm going to say. It was definitely pretty expensive just like for going out to dinner and drinks and things, but whatever. I mean, we pretty much expected that.

in that location but it was a little sticker shock those first few bar tabs like okay then what's a shot of fireball like ten dollars oh do you even know i don't know 12 14 something like that yeah we mostly went back to our room when we wanted a fireball shot Yeah. I mean, we did buy drinks at the pool bar. Like we weren't total a-holes about it, but we may have taken a few breaks back to our room as well. So what else? We, Gary and I, were...

asked to host a couple sort of like sessions. So we did a couple kind of like meet and greet, like mix and mingle kind of things, which I think were pretty well received. We hosted a room for the room crawl. I saw the story on Instagram. Which was super fun. Yeah. Which is always a great way to meet a bunch of people because like they're just coming to your room for whatever you're offering. So Gary and I, we tried to go with like a...

We were playing off like obviously fireball is our thing. And then like Miami sort of heat kind of idea. So we were like trying to work with all of that. So we had like some red decorations and like flames. We were trying to do that thing. And then, yes, obviously we're offering fireball shots to anybody who wanted them. We had taken just like a cheap inflatable beach ball.

and written a few things on it all that game so we played our little game where like you know we would toss the ball at people and then we were giving away some of our remaining flot sunglasses um we had shivers thank you shivers So we gave away samples. I don't know. I think we had like some stickers, some temporary tattoos, just some other kind of hopefully fun stuff for people as they were stopping by.

So that was fun. Again, a really great way to meet a lot of people. I just selfishly wish it would have started a little bit later because we had to sort of drag ourselves out of the beautiful sunshine and pool to go get ready for that. But it was super fun. Totally worth it. But anyway, what else? Oh, the other thing I was fortunate enough to help out with, I co-hosted with Kate. She called it a slutware swap.

So people, mostly ladies, but men were not excluded. Mostly ladies could bring very... gently used or a lot of it was brand new like outfits or lingerie that like maybe you ordered it and it just didn't fit right or you wore it seriously once to try it on and you're like fuck this or something so it was all like high quality and clean.

But anyway, it was just like all sprawled out all over Kate's penthouse room. And you could come like shop basically. Just for free. Just swap. Yeah. Yeah. And she had champagne. So I was trying to like keep all the ladies cups filled. That was my job. Aw.

But yeah, it was like super fun and just like helping people kind of try stuff on or figure things out, you know, because some of this shit is like strappy and like you can't hardly get it on or off your damn self. Guys don't understand it. Yeah. You break a sweat.

It was like a nice little kind of bonding moment. But that was really fun. And honestly, I thought a good idea because I think we all have like that little pile of clothes where it's like, I'm never going to wear this. Like, what the fuck am I going to do with it? You hate to just throw it away. So this was like a really cool way to kind of recycle. Yeah. So that was fun. I will say.

For Gary and I, as newbies to this particular group, everybody was super welcoming. Definitely you could tell that people... you know, they know each other from other Libertine events. Okay. But I really didn't get, I didn't feel like anything was clicky or exclusionary. Like, obviously, yes, people want to, like... reconnect or catch up or like I appreciate respect understand that but like not at the

extent of excluding somebody else like you could walk up to anybody and they would just kind of welcome you into the fold so I thought that was really nice and then I think the last thing I will mention is just to give a quick shout out to the other... that were involved at the event. Again, obviously, Kate is the mastermind of the Libertine events. So if you've never checked out the Wanderlust Swingers podcast, I highly recommend. Her and her husband co-host that podcast.

We also got to meet Mickey and Mallory from the Casual Swingers podcast. Again, another amazing production. If you've never listened, go check them out. But they were great hosts. Mickey did a lot of the DJing for the event. to the pool during like the last night for kind of the glow party so he definitely kept everything moving kept people dancing that was super fun so big shout out to them and then the other two hosts that were there

was the Burning Chair, the Burning Chair Candles and Boutique. They had a little shop set up. They had all kinds of amazing like toys, outfits, like accessories, unicorn snot, like the kind of glitter stuff that you can like put on your skin to be like shiny. All kinds of very cool stuff that they had. And then also bold and beautiful.

boudoir by Christy was also hosting with us and she did a whole workshop about specifically how to pose for photos and like if you're gonna go do like a boudoir shot kind of what to expect and how to like pose for that. And then I think she was doing photos for people as well. That was kind of a separate thing that you could sign up for. But so like a nice variety of different sort of people with different areas of expertise and interests. So a really fun, diverse, welcoming group.

All the good things to say about all of it. If you are so inclined and can get to any of the Libertine events, Kate does an amazing job. She brings in really cool people. You will feel welcomed. You won't miss a beat. It's just like meeting up with old friends, even though you've never met them before. So I highly recommend. And last, but certainly not least.

A special shout out to just all the sexy people and new friends that we made at this event. I won't take the time to go through line by line. I don't know if people even want me to do that. So hopefully. you all know who you are. We got to meet friends of your and Barry's. Yes. So some overlap there is super fun. Anyway, so if I took time, if I had the time, if I made the time, if you...

caught my attention because I was running around like a crazy person. If I talk to you at all, please know that it was amazing to meet you and chat and hang out. Because there was just a great group of people. So that was super fun. So thank you to all our new friends. I'm so sad we missed it. I mean, you were doing some cool stuff, too. I know we're not going to talk about it. And so I know you did a lot of fun things. You worked.

a few hours amidst the party did you is there any like sexy little snapshot of anything you want to give us any any sexy fun time give us a hint yeah yeah Yeah, so there was some of that, thank goodness. Gee, I don't know. There's a couple different situations that come to mind. I guess my best tease... would be I had my first experience with electric play oh how's that for my little tease yes so yeah

Super enjoyable. Spoiler alert. But you will be hearing more about that on a future episode. Yes. All right. That is exactly what I wanted to know. Perfect. Excellent. All right. So yeah, that is probably more than enough from me. Gary and I have had some other sexy fun along the way. You know who you are if you're listening. I'm not totally ignoring you, but...

There's only so much time in a podcast. So yeah, I've been a big old slut. I got all kinds of shit to talk about. I'm ready for like my story in December. So yeah, sorry. I'm part of this too. And sorry, I'm holding up all that sexiness. Not at all. It's nice, though, when you only have to have your story every other month. It takes some of the pressure off.

But then sometimes I'm a slut and I get a little collection of stories and I'm ready to go for a little bit. It's nice. You have a little, you know, what are you going to do? Library full.

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All right, we are back for Life and the Lifestyle. And as we said earlier in the episode, we often get asked advice on... email and social media everywhere about how to talk to your partner about getting into the idea of swinging. We even get messages on SLS about how to get my partner into this. So I don't know why you're already on that site if your partner's not into it, but anyway. This is a tricky situation in general. So we're going to do our best. Yeah, what she said.

We're going to do our best to give some advice and some personal experiences about how to talk to your partner about. Either getting into the idea of swinging or maybe you're already in the lifestyle and you want to take it a little further in a certain area or try something new. I think some of this advice might be helpful in that situation too.

So more specifically, what I was alluding with the SLS thing was that recently we've been asked how to approach the lifestyle with your partner, even when like they don't have it on their radar. So you want your partner to get into it.

We're going to kind of direct you to not do it in a sneaky way or surprise your partner. We realize it's super tricky to talk about these things, but we've actually found that a Google search of just literally, quote unquote, how to talk to your partner about swinging.

We'll give you lots of articles and websites and podcasts and Reddit threads. There's a lot of information out there that we're going to do our best to summarize and hopefully share the stuff that's actually useful, not just the basic generic guidance. We do still recommend Googling that, checking out all of that, listening to podcasts or checking out websites to find a technique that might work best for you and your specific.

relationship dynamic or wherever you're at in the stage of swinging or if you're just starting out but we know this topic is common it's probably been covered on 20 other 20 million other podcasts that are focus on the lifestyle so again we're not going to claim to be the experts or have this one specific foolproof method to get your partner into swinging we just don't have that it's not for everybody but we're going to offer some do's some don'ts based on what we've experienced this far

and hopefully we can offer something that might be useful to you in your journey. So Kenzie put out a poll on our social media platforms. I think advice from people about how to get your partner. Or how to talk about the lifestyle with your partner if you're new to it, right? Yeah. So again, like some of this stuff, like you only have so many words you can use. And sometimes the way I ask the questions is weird. But specifically on Instagram, I...

posed the question as, what advice would you give to somebody who wants to get into the lifestyle? So conveniently enough, a lot of the answers that we received align with what we were already planning to talk about so I guess that's a good sign yay validation So we, again, we'll go over some of this stuff in more detail, but just to run through a couple of the responses that we got. Be honest. Yay.

Love me some honesty. Let's do that. A couple people kind of put their own spin on essentially the answer of. Talking about fantasies, kind of using that as a starting point, that if there's something that you... hopefully genuinely have fantasized about like sharing that with your partner and kind of seeing what their reaction is to it. Sometimes that can kind of open the door to further conversation. So that can be one way to do it.

A couple other people offered sort of a version of know your why or said another way, be able to articulate your reasons that you want to explore this. I don't think you can just like spring this on somebody and then just say, it sounds fun. Like you need to have a little more than that. Presenting it as something you want to try together. Like not that this is, I'm going to use this as an excuse to go fuck other people, but like how it's going to benefit you together. So some things like that.

And again, thank you to everybody who took the time to answer. There were some others. I'm not exactly reading these word for word individually, but just to give you an idea of some of the answers that we got. But definitely appreciate you guys. participating and giving us that feedback. But I think you will hear some of those commonalities or some of those common themes as Madison and I go through what we identified kind of as some do's and don'ts.

We are not sitting here claiming to be complete experts. This is based on our experience. And this should be for people looking for mutually beneficial relationship benefits. This is never something that you should force on your partner. So just sort of keep that in mind as the overarching theme to all of this. You need to have a solid relationship already before you even consider any of this.

the lifestyle is not going to fix something that's already broken. So just going to throw that out there as the overarching theme before we get into the specifics.

Amen to that. Go ahead. I think a good segue for one of our first do's for when you want to try something new in the lifestyle or you just want to get into the lifestyle with your partner is discussing these things when you're in a good... mental headspace uh you're at a good space with your partner period obviously not after a big fight or when you're having issues or when you're feeling distant from each other um

I think that could be a total turnoff. And not quite that scenario, but a specific example from me when I first entered the lifestyle at 16. 17, 18 years ago, whenever the fuck it was, my first boyfriend at the time brought up swinging to me by just saying he happened to stumble upon a website called Adult Friend Finder, AFF, and he thought we should join.

but he already created the profile for us so in hindsight i was a pushover at that time anyway and i probably did it would have done whatever and i did uh but I think it probably would have been nicer and more respectful to check out the website together first and just talk about what are we seeing? What are we reading?

wow what is this whole new thing together before or versus just my partner signing us up and me not really understanding what I'm getting into and then two weeks later like meeting a couple 20 years older than me and being thrown into it.

So again, I guess that doesn't go with the headspace because we were okay in a headspace, but I don't know. I just, that's just kind of being thrown into something when you're not ready. You should definitely take it slower and both people should fully understand what they're getting into ahead of time. Yeah. And I guess that goes along with the honesty, which might be one of our next top topics for do's. Yeah. I think you absolutely need to be honest about what it is that you are interested in.

and why it interests you. I would say, based on my own experience, you may need to reassure your partner that your interest has nothing to do with anything lacking in them but that's so hard to comprehend at first I'll say I know because like if this is not on your radar at all and the person that you love comes to you and Not in so many words, but is essentially saying like, let's go fuck other people. I just I almost feel like how can you not.

think that like well shit what's wrong with me that they feel they need to go do this i'm not enough i'm too boring you need more yeah etc um which i would argue nine times out of ten is not the case but just understand that that's how it could be perceived. So I think you need to talk about what you think the benefits will be for each of you as well as for you as a couple. And like why you want to do this. I think it's also helpful.

If you acknowledge the potential challenges, like don't try to paint a picture of roses and sunshine when you know damn well, if you've listened to us for more than this episode, you've heard us talk about like the good, the bad, the ugly. Like, not every swing interaction is some fucking multi-orgasmic unicorn fucking rainbow. Like, that's not reality.

So I think it would be helpful to acknowledge that piece of the puzzle as well. Like, yes, this is going to push our boundaries a little bit. We're going to need to really communicate about this. But here's why I think that's cool or fun or whatever you think it is. But like, be real about it. Don't try to paint this picture that this is going to go be some fucking amazing fucking technicolor dream coat.

journey I don't know like it's not but yes using I statements and saying what I yes yes that's important too yes but and also just being open to If you're the one just being thrown into all of this, just being open to what your partner's into and maybe being willing to explore that.

even if it's just for them off the bat you're not sure you'll get anything from it but they have this strong interest maybe i'm willing to do this for you like maybe this will be a better bond for us could we build something further here together so i guess it's that whole open mind thing

along with the honesty and I guess going on with being honest maybe we're not maybe I'm not the best at this but just being direct with what you want yeah and why you want something I don't know why that's so hard for me sometimes but I think that could be very helpful Are you like that or are you the more subtle hint? Beat around the bush to get what you want. Yeah, I think it's for me, it depends like just in life in general. Like I feel like I use both techniques.

But when it comes to the lifestyle, as difficult as it may be, yeah, I would suggest that you need to be direct. You can't just drop subtle hints and hope that your partner is going to figure this out, that that's what you are after. So as awkward and as difficult as that initial conversation could be, I think that you have to be direct about it. You can't, yeah, you can't beat around the bush and think that they're just going to magically figure it out.

Yes, I feel like as we've always said, lifestyle is a journey. It starts with the first step, but really like... If you're new to this and you're throwing this all on your partner, all right, give it time to sink in. You don't need to make a hot date the very next weekend. You don't need to make a profile page on any website or app.

immediately yeah god no it could take a year or two to get into things you're it might take your spouse that time to just learn about what the lifestyle is and fucking other people and it's a lot to swallow literally sometimes yeah And again, I mean, keeping in mind, if this is something that you've been thinking about privately for five years, and then all of a sudden you're going to spring it on your partner and expect them to just be like, yeah, totally, let's do it.

maybe not realistic like you need to give them time to process all of this or yes to madison's point and kind of where we started you can literally google this shit and get all kinds of other i mean somewhat similar advice But use something like that. Like, oh, my gosh, you know, I stumbled upon this article. Wow. Like it was really.

what a insert like exciting the fucking truth yeah but like you know what i mean use something like that as sort of your in to kind of gauge where your partner might be with it but yeah okay so a couple more do's From our experiences. I would argue to start slow. I guess mostly because this worked for me and Gary.

But we've talked to plenty of couples over the years that jumped into the deep end and that worked really well for them. So obviously there's more than one way to do this and you'll have to determine with your partner what will work best for the both of you. But starting slow is what worked for Gary and I. And I kind of feel like it was probably almost a little bit more me than him. But I insisted for several years that we stay soft swap.

Because I saw full swap as this like, I don't know, insurmountable line to cross. And oh my God, everything, the world was going to end. And I don't even know what I thought. Whatever. We fucked you and Barry and everybody's fine. And here we are talking about it. But you don't know until you know. So what are you going to do? But again, that's just what worked for us to kind of.

move slowly but again we know a lot of people who just jumped in and that's what worked for them so you're gonna have to gauge based on you and your partner yeah so Barry and I I feel like we did a mix of this because We started right in with what we had done in the past, I guess, with our previous partners. So I guess you could call that going in like full force, jumping into the deep end. But we also kind of took it slow with getting into full swap together.

And then we went all in with that for a while. And then we took it slow again, really getting into the separate play, which we've barely delved into. But that took a long time for me to be OK with, too. And just a reminder, I guess it's okay to ebb and flow with that, even if you're already in the lifestyle and you're trying something new. Obviously, your level of pacing with things might vary.

Even also just trying something new, like meeting a single or meeting a couple. And then maybe you just take a long break to focus back on your own relationship for a while. Like, that's fine. Swinging doesn't have to be an every weekend thing. It could be a once a year fucking thing. Who cares? Like there's no rules to that aspect. So take it as it works for you and your partner. I'd say even maybe just starting slow by watching porn together during sex.

which that's always fun to do now still for Mary and I we just did it a week ago um but watching that or then like we said talking about fantasies even during sexual play like sometimes I'll hint at god it'd be nice to have Someone behind me right now, like when I'm sucking Barry's cock, just like hinting at fun things like that. And I'm like, hmm, all right. Yeah, that's pretty fucking hot. Maybe we should try that together. So there's even avenues out there just.

on social media or through googling different apps like You can ease into it with your partner by joining chats or private groups that you can learn about a lot more things of God, even on Facebook, even though that can be a little sketchy if you're trying to be private. But there's a lot of avenues out there to be a part of a community without... fully diving into it right off the bat. Yeah. So. And I would say maybe for our last do, I would say do talk about safer sex with your partner.

Things like using condoms, getting regular STI testing. If you have been monogamous with your primary partner for years and years and years, these are likely things that you haven't really dealt with lately. So... Just as a female in the lifestyle, I will say, I think sometimes guys struggle with condoms. A lot, yeah. Like everything might be like all signs are go and then they put the condom on and...

And then that's it. We're not making fun of you. It just happens. No, it just happens. And then, yeah, like the STI testing. You've heard us talk about that before. Again, if you've been monogamous for 20 years, you haven't. guessing thought about that too much, but that's something you might need to be working into your life now if you're going to go down this road. So just things like that, that I guess is kind of maybe the unsexy side of all this.

But the reality of it that you're going to need to address if you are going to go down this road. So just something to think about. Maybe. practice like wear a condom with your partner just to get used to it again like I don't know whatever you need to do but that could be something to think about as well okay we did our best to tackle a lot of the do's I'm sure there's a million more sure

But we're done. We don't have that much time. So we're going to jump into just a few definite don'ts from our point of view or things people have messaged us about that we were totally turned off by and we do not agree with. Yeah. I guess number one. Well, not number one. This is just one of the things. Don't. Giving your partner an ultimatum or using your love or your relationship as like a playing card to get into lifestyle. Like just using your partner as...

What am I trying to say? Not using them, but putting the pressure on them. incorrect way to get into the lifestyle to make them feel guilty to get in the lifestyle or that things are going to end with you too or not be as good with you too if they don't get in the lifestyle with you obviously that's

It's going to sour their mindset about the lifestyle overall. I don't agree with it personally. And obviously, I feel like it's going to cause more issues in your own relationship than just being honest. Take it slowly. You don't need to force anyone into it. Or make people step out of their own comfort zone just to appease your fantasies. Yeah, exactly. I would agree completely. You can't force it. And I guess along with that, maybe just being patient.

Because even if you bring this up and your partner doesn't jump all over it, it might not be a total no, but maybe it's just not right now. Yeah. Again, like we were saying in like the last little section, they probably are going to need some time to digest this. So like give them a little space and time. But yeah, don't force it. Don't put ultimatums on it. I don't feel like that is going to work well for anybody. And I think last episode when we were recording, we...

I think it was on the Flaw SLS, but I know Barry and I have gotten this on our own personal one. We got a message that was basically the male half of a couple.

obviously very new to the lifestyle saying like hey will you meet us out and flirt with my wife it's like surprise her and then we like we see where things go super cringy number one like she doesn't know what the fuck's gonna be going on and then you just want this couple to show up and basically pick your wife up and everyone else is in on it except for her that's so fucked up to me so bad

Never been a part of that. Always deny and ignore those messages. Do not do that. It will not end well for anyone. Or could you even imagine if you and your partner... are planning a fun date night.

And then you surprise them by like, hey, we're going to PGC or Charisma. It's this new club I heard about. And you walk into, well, this kind of goes with the story that I'm going to share. But you walk into this whole lifestyle event and people are half naked or maybe already fucking in the middle of the room. And you're just like, what? the what yeah why am i here i'm so uncomfortable no surprises i don't i don't think surprises at any point in this unless you're

Already very well established and you kind of know what someone wants and surprise them with it. Otherwise, no, not going to go well. Bad idea. Yeah. And then I guess our last don't, don't lie. Don't say something because you think it's what your partner wants to hear. Again, in the long run, somehow the truth is going to come out one way or another. I can almost guarantee it. So just save yourself the trouble.

Again, one of our do's was to be honest. So surprise, the don't is don't fucking lie. Two sides of the same coin. don't do it. Like it's just not, it's not going to work. Like if you're going to try to fake your way through something, that's not going to work. And if you're saying or doing something just because you think your partner wants to see it or hear it.

it's gonna just resentment will fester that's more common like just fucking don't don't do it i promise you it's not worth it it's okay to push boundaries and try something new but yes if it compromises your bottom line and boundaries then no all right so that's it folks those are our do's and don'ts again

We don't claim to be experts. This is not intended to be an exhaustive list, but it's just some things to think about. Hopefully there was something helpful in here for you. I think just be honest, be genuine. Find the right time and space. You have to know your partner, know what they might be receptive to, and just kind of take it one step at a time. So good luck. Let us know how it goes. Proceed with caution.

And we will have a short break. You're going to hear from one of our partners. And then we are bringing it back. And we're bringing it back damn dirty with the going deep segment and Madison's sexy. Light play for some story. Yeah. Spicy. Ladies, I'm in the lifestyle. And yes, I'm literally walking out of my favorite club right now. Legs still shaking.

Shameless Care hooked me up with their shamelessly aroused cream. It's a generic Viagra topical for women. Honestly, I didn't expect much. But damn, I was wrong. See, during swaps, I usually don't finish. It takes time. focus the right rhythm and frankly trying too hard just kills the mood so i'd wait and handle things later not anymore this cream it floods you with blood flow and lights up every nerve down there i went from

probably not tonight, to holy shit again, multiple times. And here's the thing. Guys in the lifestyle pop blue pills like Tic Tacs, and no one bats an eye. So why should we just deal with it? Ladies, it's our turn. Take care of your orgasm. Take control of your night. Head to www.shamelesscare.com. Coupon code FWAT. That's www.shamelesscare.com slash cream. And use code FWAT for friends with a twist. Trust me, you'll wish you did this sooner.

All right, friends, we are back. Last segment, going deep. Madison's got a story for us, and I cannot wait to hear it. No idea what's about to happen, but let's buckle in. yeah let's do it all right okay so this story comes from a night at pgc not super recently but not super long ago so anyway

Just a regular night out. It was a first Friday of the month. And, you know, just a casual night. No plans. We saw some old friends when we got there. But then Barry and I were just honestly hanging out by ourselves near the bar, as we usually do. And...

I forget what time this was. It was before midnight at some point in the night. Randomly, this hot ass couple came up to us just to chat. Conversation went well. We separated and then we went our own different ways, but we actually reconnected again later. So again, all very random. So she basically was a Barbie. Just picture that. Long blonde hair. Got it. Thin, tan, big boobs. Nice ass. Perfection.

I don't know why they were talking to us. Honestly, that's what my initial thought was. He complimented her, fit sort of long hair, actually, but he had it nicely slicked back in a very non-creepy way. They were just a very attractive couple. And yes, my initial thought was, why are they talking to us? Not to put us down, but sometimes I just don't feel up to certain caliber. And it's just surprising who wants to talk to us sometimes. So again, this was the second reconnection.

We just talked for a little while. She was saying actually she still seemed kind of new to the lifestyle. Okay. She told me they were just engaged a few months ago. Maybe red flag. She said she wanted to explore things, but she wasn't exactly sure what she wanted.

hmm okay yellow flag um so i guess it was nice to just learn that right off the bat yeah but in hindsight like things kind of make sense later on so again they were fun her and i were just like not best friends but like good friends off the bat like we were screaming some fucking song words to a song on the dance floor I don't even remember what it was but I just remember like belting it out like into her face and she was doing the same I don't know and then at midnight

She took a shot off of my tits and then I took a fireball shot from between her tits and it was just fun girl time. Yeah. So. I thought that was it again. We kind of separated. And then later we connected again on the dance floor. And all four of us were there this time. And we were all like grinding on the dance floor together. Okay. So yay. Sounds good.

And then her and I were speaking a little bit and we agreed that we wanted to play with each other. So it was after midnight at PGC and we tried to find a room. And well, that's not a good idea. So that was a fucking fail. And the only open room that night was one with no curtain, no privacy adjacent to the open play area. Basically the room that's like a gynecologist set up.

where you lay back on the bed and you can put your feet up and everyone can just stare in there because everything's open. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yep. We're like, well, fuck, we wanted to play a little together. So her and I, we went in the room. We made out for a little bit. Super hot. So it was just fun to do that with her. And then she actually laid down on the chair bed.

quote unquote bed and asked if I I asked if I could go down on her and she said yes so I did it I loved it this is hot woman and i'm just putting my mouth on her pussy and it was i get turned on by knowing that some people can see us but i know not everyone is into that so anyway that wasn't the problem yet so i was enjoying

licking her pussy a little bit and then i slipped my finger inside of her and like she's she was enjoying it from what i could see on her face and like sucking her clit a little bit and then i just Because she was so new, I just wanted her to have a great experience. Yeah. So her partner then, I guess, got the go ahead from her and started playing with me from behind with his hands a little bit. And so I was just standing there bent over.

on the table towards her. Barry was right next to me and to him and like caressing me and just taking everything in. We were trying to move very slowly because we knew she was new to this. I assume him also. And so speaking of taking it all in, we had such a crowd watching us. Go figure. I think this made her super uncomfortable. I let her get up, take the pressure off of people watching her. I laid down. Actually, her partner then went down on me for a few minutes, which was lovely. Just...

Nice tongue-sucking action. Nothing earth-shattering, but just a nice, enjoyable scenario there. And then... She must have wanted some attention again. So she said, can I lay back down? So I said, yes. And then Barry and I went down on her together. Oh, that's hot. It's hot being mouth to mouth with your spouse and this hot woman's pussy and just.

People are watching you and I don't know. I get turned on by that. Hell yeah. Again, not everyone does. So all the while people watching us felt more intense and I understand. Why? Because like we had no curtain, there's no door. What do you fucking expect? If you're playing in an open room, you expect to be seen. Sure.

So I remember as we're going down on her, things felt good. And then I looked up at her and she was looking around and looking at the people. Okay. And then she's like, I need a commercial break. So. I don't know if it was just the audience or just too much in general or like the play. I don't know. It was hard to tell, but I'm pretty sure it was probably everything all together. Yeah. I don't know if this was a scenario where her fiance was like, let's go to this fun club and let loose.

And I hear this couple's going down on her and people are watching and maybe it was too much. I don't know. We didn't discuss that part. But it ended nicely. Like her and I, then we got dressed in our bras and our panties. And we just walked out of the room like that because at that point, you don't need to get fully dressed. You can walk to the bathroom in your thong. And we later then saw them at the bar before we left for the night.

She's like, we'd love to hang out again soon, even if it's just for drinks. She's like, here's this doily from dinner in my purse. Write down your screen name. So I did. Hopefully, we'll keep in touch with them. If not... Maybe it was just a nice way to end the night. That's fine, too. Yeah. We'll just see what happens. But to end that off, what a fucking random night. We also met another listener of the podcast and his partner. Super sexy duo.

We made out with, well, I made out with him. Barry made out with her. She motorboated me several times. So I'm fucking hopeful we see them again in the future. Like, what a random fucking night that did not involve any fucking. Hmm. Weird.

I don't know if it goes along the lines with this is someone new who was thrown into a situation she wasn't ready for. It seemed like that. That's why I wanted to share this story. The whole time I was trying to be respectful of that and just make it about me and her having fun.

Yeah, sometimes it's just too much. So I applaud her for saying, she literally said, I need a commercial break. And we went to the bathroom and ended it there. Yeah. No hurt feelings or anything. Exactly. And then Barry and I still had fun with some other couple. And then we went home. See, what a fun night. Random fun light play story. I know it's not maybe the super sexiest of details, but it went along with the theme and a reminder that you can still have sexy fun and not fuck people.

Exactly. It's not all about that in lifestyle. Indeed. But mostly. No, that's so fun. And like you said, I mean, that's super hot to know that everybody had just kind of like stopped to see what was going on in there. Oh, my gosh. Which, yeah, like you said, is not everybody's cup of tea, but. still super hot to know that like clearly like watch us yeah exactly like that's so fun and i mean yeah good for her for

finding a way to kind of say, I need a break. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? But like in a fun, kind of like nice way, there's nothing wrong with that. Like, no, nobody's feelings were hurt. Like everybody gets it, but you just need to say it. So people. know where you're at yeah but it can still be a really fun time so maybe if you are new to a club scene which it seemed like and you really want to play with people maybe don't just take any available open play area

You might not be ready for that because it is a little creepy having strangers stare at you. Stare at your pussy out there when someone's mouth is on it. Spread open. Yeah, maybe take that into consideration. You know. Whatever. Or if you like it like I do, go for it. Whatever. That's all I got to say about that. All right. Well, thank you, Madison, for that very sexy story.

That's going to do it for us and episode 64, which is just hard to believe as I say it out loud. So that's it. Thanks for joining us. As always, you know that we love to hear from you. So please feel free to connect with us on X and Instagram at FWAT underscore podcast. Or you can always send us an email at friendswithatwist at yahoo.com. Leave us a review wherever you listen to this podcast if you are enjoying it. Share us with your friends. Help us get the word out. And that's it.

Until next time, friends, get out there and find your twist. Or just chill. Till the next episode. Yeah.