"Fetch Pappy a pack of smokes"

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Happy Fourth of July, podheads! We lit so many fuses that the fireworks from this episode had us scurrying for cover. Our civic duty obliged us to contemplate the state of our country by trash talking the Brits while lamenting about last week's presidential debate. We fondly remembered bigger-than-life heroes from the past, e.g., Jack Palance's push-up on the Oscar stage, Reagan's aplomb, and Kojak's lollipop. When we linked angelic coolness with cigarette smoking, we decided to say farewell. Picture us waving goodbye with the delight of two modern dictators.