“I’m like Bewitched with a lot of vodka!” Meet psychic medium Marilyn Alauria. From the age of three she had psychic experiences, but she didn’t know that’s what they were. As a kid she was constantly told it was just her imagination and she was overly sensitive. Those messages, coupled with childhood abuse, led Marilyn to push her abilities aside. She turned to drinking and drugs in her early teens to quiet the feelings, voices and confusion she experienced—not knowing how to deal with it. It w...
May 05, 2021•45 min
Someone makes an off-handed remark and you bristle. Or they criticize you and you go into full-blown defensive mode before you dissolve into a million pieces. Why does this happen? Why are you so sensitive to some things while others slide off your back? You react when there is some truth in what was said; a truth you don’t want to admit to yourself, let alone have it pointed out by another person. When they call it out you become awash with shame. Shame is a VERY uncomfortable emotion to deal w...
May 04, 2021•26 min
The same dance happens all the time in unhealthy relationships between an anxious and an avoidant. The anxious struggles with self-value so they perform: see me, pay attention to me! This neediness causes the avoidant to run. But then, when the avoidant is away, they miss their anxious partner. They want to feel that “closeness” again so the avoidant returns and the whole cycle goes on repeat with the anxious clinging and the avoidant running. The anxious partner tends to blame the avoidant for ...
Apr 27, 2021•48 min
You just said something that pissed off your partner. But geez, you were only joking. Then your friend asked for your opinion about what they were wearing, and was hurt by what you said. It seems like you’re always stepping on landmines, then constantly defending what you said or going on damage control. Should you be honest or not? Why is everyone so damn sensitive? Maybe it’s not them. When you don’t own what you say, and instead blow it off by saying, “I call it like I see it!” or “That’s jus...
Apr 20, 2021•33 min
Insecure attachment issues are very painful. Some may be familiar with John Bowlby’s attachment theory on childhood development. I talked about these in Podcast #63: Your Attachment Style, and encourage you to listen to it for an overview. Here I take the Anxious/Avoidant style a step further. Based on my own experience, and talking with hundreds of clients, the supposedly rare style of an Avoidant/Anxious/Avoidant is not so rare. This is when an independent person (avoidant) thinks they’ve foun...
Apr 13, 2021•1 hr 24 min
From a small village in Holland to the international modeling scene, Jill de Jong led an adventurous but exhausting life. At 17 she moved to Milan, working long days and sleeping on planes. After four years of missed birthdays and weddings, she tried to settle down and leave modeling, but restlessness bubbled up. She moved to NY with her husband where modeling continued taking a toll on her physical, mental, and emotional health. Constantly depleted with a lot of uncomfortable body issues, Jill ...
Apr 07, 2021•39 min
Are you a unicorn hunter, chasing some magical fantasy as the answer to your problems? When you find your perfect mate, when you write your best-selling book, when you win the lottery. You think your unicorn is waiting for you “out there” somewhere, but it never appears because what you’re really searching for is what you lack inside: value, worthiness, acceptance, love, validation. You’re disconnected from yourself. As the saying goes, “Wherever you go, there you are.” When you feel like a defl...
Apr 06, 2021•27 min
In your sphere of relationships—partner, friend, colleague, family, acquaintance, etc.—how do you show up? Are you trying to fit in, be liked or be respected? Do you want to be thought of as nice, smart, strong, reliable and/or helpful? And to achieve those objectives, do you act differently with different people? You might perform the way you think somebody wants you to without even realizing it. Yes, perform. When you are playing a role that is focused on how you want to be perceived instead o...
Mar 30, 2021•26 min
Attachment issues are big among my podcast listeners; there’s a reason I have an entire series devoted to it! But there is a difference between those who are ATTACHED to their attached relationship, and those who truly want to let go. You need to honestly ask yourself: Are you more comfortable with the devil you know, or are you willing to do the hard work needed to make a change? Deciding you have value and wanting to move out of a dysfunctional relationship is one of the hardest things to do. ...
Mar 23, 2021•43 min
The people in your life have heard you complain about the same problem over and over. It’s your relationship or your job or your money issues—whatever it is, you’re a victim. It’s someone else’s fault. You say you want to solve the problem, but you won’t “go there.” If someone tries to dig a little deeper to get to the root of it (a friend, a therapist, a coach, a partner), you get defensive. You’d rather steer the conversation away from anything emotional and focus on the problem you THINK is t...
Mar 16, 2021•35 min
Does this conversation sound familiar to you? “So-and-so is mad at me.” “Oh really, did she say she was mad at you?” “No, I can just tell.” Or what about this one? “So-and-so doesn’t want to hang out anymore.” “Oh really, why do you think that?” “Because he found someone else to spend time with so he doesn’t need me anymore.” Ah, assuming. You get to feel self-righteous by making someone else the bad guy while you’re the victim who did nothing wrong. It’s an excuse not to communicate. When you c...
Mar 09, 2021•26 min
Joel Primus is an author, speaker, filmmaker and serial entrepreneur. His first success, however, was as a runner, representing Canada at the World Youth Games. His identity as a runner was everything—then he blew up his achilles and that life was over. Trying to fill a void, he hitchhiked across Canada to make a movie—until his camera fell off a cliff. Third time’s a charm? While traveling in Peru, Joel found underwear that was so much better than anything he had worn before. His company Naked ...
Mar 03, 2021•50 min
Anxiety is painful enough, but hiding it from your mate makes it even worse. Maybe you worry about where they are, or when they’re going to call, or why they ignored you. But instead of expressing that, you hide behind a façade of “everything’s just fine.” You’re afraid if your partner knew about these thoughts, he/she might freak out. Maybe you have even shown concern in the past, but he/she felt you didn’t trust them so you shut it down. How often have you asked yourself, “What’s wrong with me...
Mar 02, 2021•30 min
You are hanging on by a thread. On the one hand, you have this amazing connection to someone. It feels almost unreal sometimes. On the other hand, you don’t see each other very often and you know he/she is probably dating other people. Seeing their profile all over dating apps is driving you crazy. BUT, he/she has been hurt in the past (or some other excuse), which makes getting into a relationship scary. You understand that and want to be patient because you see a potential future together. Par...
Feb 23, 2021•24 min
At 33 years old, Jessica Zweig had to ask her parents for $200 to pay her phone bill. Only a few years earlier she was living her “Sex in the City” life in Chicago, running a high-profile women’s lifestyle magazine. It was a sharp contrast to her uncool high school persona, proving to everyone she had finally arrived. But her business only looked successful from the outside; inside it was a financial mess. She could barely pay her employees and she suffered from chronic anxiety. A full-blown emo...
Feb 17, 2021•31 min
Someone says something to piss you off. In your head you think, “What a jerk!” In that moment, when you’re triggered, you can’t see how you’re responsible for your reaction (not the person who triggered you). You can’t see how you’re responsible for your choice to either strike back or shut down in response. In your head it’s a zero-sum game with a winner and a loser. If you blame the other person, the point goes to you. If you accept what they say, they have the upper hand. There is no space fo...
Feb 16, 2021•22 min
You create whatever you focus on. If someone says, “Think about anything but a pink elephant,” what comes to mind? A pink elephant, of course. So why do you focus on your “flaws” or what you perceive to be negative about yourself? By feeding into what you don’t do well or don’t like about yourself, you constantly react to it… and just create more of it. If you believe you’re an ogre, you’ll constantly try to prove you’re not one. It all stems from childhood limitations and the stories you told y...
Feb 09, 2021•27 min
In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of healing, toxic relationships, and how to not stop yourself from feeling your feelings. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617
Feb 05, 2021•18 min
What do you think you need to finally feel good? Do you believe you haven’t earned it yet? Haven’t suffered enough? Waiting for permission or a sign from the Universe? You may think feeling good (happy, content, joyful) is something bestowed upon you after you prove you deserve it. Once you hit that salary milestone or kiss 100 frogs. But when you wait for something outside of you, you give up your birthright to feel good. Yes, feeling good is a birthright. And it’s a choice that is always avail...
Feb 02, 2021•22 min
In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of emotional hunger, letting go of a relationship, and patterns in relationships. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my ...
Jan 29, 2021•21 min
People who have attachment issues aren’t just attached to other people… they are also attached to ideas. They are attached to how they are seen by others, and how they want things to look. This narrow window of possibility is born from lack—that feeling there is not enough. That THEY as humans are not enough. And if they don’t get what they want, the answer is to work harder for their piece of the pie. The focus is on the negative: what’s missing or not enough or unlikely to work out because of ...
Jan 26, 2021•25 min
In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of yo-yo relationships, emotional commitment, and codependency. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative in...
Jan 22, 2021•22 min
Have you designed a conditional happiness model for yourself? Tracy Litt was 24 when she lost her mom, and 28 when she became an unemployed single mom. If life looks like a heart monitor, those were the two biggest dips in her life. But the second dip was the one that catapulted her out because her higher self finally spoke up. It told her crying self to get up and wipe her face; she had a whole life to create for her and her daughter. Tracy listened. “We all have the same exact depth and breadt...
Jan 20, 2021•46 min
You’re always hoping your next partner will be different; better. But what does that boil down to? What are you truly looking for? If you’re honest with yourself, you might be looking for someone to rescue you because deep down you want to be taken care of. You want someone to fill the emptiness you feel inside. It goes back to childhood, and it keeps intimacy at a distance because you’re waiting for something that won’t ever happen. If you grew up in a household with an Avoidant, vulnerability ...
Jan 19, 2021•25 min
In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of long friendships ending, letting go of fantasy situations, asexuality. Want to submit a question? Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Cl...
Jan 15, 2021•25 min
You want to meet someone, but it feels like it’s never gonna happen. Where IS he/she already? When will my person finally show up? When is it my turn? People call you picky, but you’re just waiting for the right one. Why should you settle? The truth is, you will never find the perfect person. Humans are flawed, and having impossible standards is what keeps you single. Those standards aren’t there to avoid “settling.” They are about fear. Fear of being seen, fear of being rejected, fear of choosi...
Jan 12, 2021•25 min
In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of childhood emotional neglect, thoughts of hurting yourself, and your programming being tested by life. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached...
Jan 08, 2021•22 min
“Human Design is basically a map of who we came here to be; a blueprint of who we are.” --Laurel Hill Laurel Hill built a successful jewelry business in her 20s that she both loved and was skilled at—the perfect combination. It started organically and served her well for nearly a decade… until burnout set in. Her physical and mental health started to suffer, as did her relationship. How could the business she loved and envisioned for her future no longer be “it” for her? During this time of stru...
Jan 06, 2021•37 min
You’re a smart cookie and have developed a level of self-awareness from books, podcasts, courses, therapy, etc. Maybe you even share these discoveries with others, feeling enlightened as you recite your issues. You talk about how you always do this one thing on a date to ruin things, or your recurring pattern of being a hostage in your relationships. You know all of this and yet… nothing changes. With all of this self-awareness, why is life not cooperating? Why are you still stuck repeating the ...
Jan 05, 2021•22 min
In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of someone cutting you off, our conditioning, and getting in touch with your feelings. Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to ge...
Jan 01, 2021•22 min
