Ep -361: Ebola Syndrome.

I'm so glad our audience can see what I'm saying. I'm just sure this makes for great podcasting. Dude, Space Slam strap-on looks nuts. You're looking at the nuts? Space Slam strap-on. Because, you know, Space Jam is like Bugs Bunny. Oh, right. So there's like women. Dressed like Bugs Bunny. But like so voluptuously crazy big. Marvin the Martian with big old balloonies.

Wow. Look at that. Space slam. What am I even looking at? Yeah, they got like prosthetics and shit. Look at her little rabbit nose. Oh, that's money right there. That's a budget. Literally balling on a budget. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Well, welcome to Forever Midnight. That's how we start things. Our dudes are all semi-torqued and we're ready to go. Semi? Semi about this. You see something semi about this?

Stan, this is little to you. This is as big as it gets, Josh. Why is it so soft, though? What do I need to strap to it to get it in me? A couple of popsicle sticks and some tape. He does a trick. He looks like a fucking splint. It's broken. Mom always told me to splint it. Three popsicle sticks and some duct tape. Now I'm a man.

Look at me on that old man, fellas. He's got frickin' scaffolding on him like the Statue of Liberty in the 80s. Where's Remo Williams? He's hanging off by one again. Welcome to Forever Midnight. A joyful discussion of horror in cinema with your hosts, Jeff Goldburn, Josh Staples, and Brian Henderson. 11 55 almost midnight enough time for one more story one more story before 12

How are you guys doing? Oh, great. Pretty good. Pretty good. Pretty good. You can't be bad when you're torqued like this. Yeah. I'm torqued. I just got an eyeful of Space Slam strap on, so I'm ready. Cool. I'm ready to just hang out with you guys. Yep. Ready to put on my bunny ears and receive your carrot. What's up, docs? What's going on, everybody? Welcome Forever Midnight. We're back. Another episode. My gosh. Are we ever. We're rounding out our top dog selections.

Yeah, this was a fucking doozy, guys. This was a wild one. Before we get to it.

Let's thank our sponsors. We got business. Yeah, we got it. Let's thank the sponsor here. Let's thank the Word Hoard Emporium of the Weird and Fantastic for sponsoring our show tonight. Yes. What a great store in Petaluma at 2200 Petaluma Boulevard North, Suite 805. you could see one of the greatest bookstores around. Yeah, especially if you love horror, sci-fi, fantasy. They got what you're looking for there. If you're looking for gifts or a special treat for yourself, that is the place to go.

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And you should check that stuff out, too. And just support these rad folks. Yeah, weirdandfantastic.com is how to check out what they have. Yeah, and we thank them for sponsoring the show. Thank you, guys. And you know who else technically kind of sponsors the show is our top dogs over on the...

Patreon. Very true. Yes, we should probably change the actual name of the tier to Top Dogs. We can. We can do whatever we want. Yeah, we are allowed to do whatever we want. You know, we're the bosses of that, so let's go ahead and do that. But for those of you that don't know, when we're talking about the top dog or wondering what that means, we have a top tier level on our Patreon. I believe it's called the FM Society, right? Yeah. Forever Midnight Society. And it is $50 a month. And if you...

Pay that amount of money, even just once, you get to pick a movie for us to watch. So if you've ever had anything, you're like, why haven't they reviewed this yet? This is one of my favorites or this movie fucking sucks. I want them to have to suffer through this. Whatever your reasoning is, that's how you make us fucking watch something that you want to hear. blab about. Definitely. That sounds pretty okay. Maybe we should raise that. Maybe that needs to go up.

Maybe she can be a hundred dollars. Maybe a little too many people are picking. Well, it's like, there's so many people that like, every time I see them, they'll be like, Dude, you gotta do this movie. And they'll tell me the same movie over and over again. And we'll never do it. That's the way to do it. Put your money where your mouth is. You have to force us. Sometimes you gotta force us. And there's times where we're like...

oh shit, we've always meant to do that. For some reason, we just never pulled the trigger. Thank you for forcing us to watch this. It's a nice treat. Sometimes. A lot of the time. Sometimes. A lot of the time.

Sometimes. We've watched a lot of good ones. We've watched some rough ones. Well, yeah. In all between. It's been an adventure. It's great. We love our top dogs. This reminds me of one that we did in the past. One we don't talk about anymore. One we don't mention. It's a little on the rougher side of the fence. It's on the rough side of things.

But it's also, it's not without merit or humor in a way. Right. Like it's done in a way that is like, is it wrong-minded? Yes. Yes. Is it extraordinarily insensitive? Yes. It's an exercise in bad taste. It really is.

And some people like that in their horror movies. So a lot of people like that kind of thing. They find that to be a lot of fun. And sometimes I do too. Sometimes I do as well. It depends. It all depends on what the movie is and how it's delivered to me. And the context of which I'm watching it in. Sometimes like a movie like that is usually pretty fun in a group. Yeah. Not sitting next to your wife.

dead tired and you know just yeah these are these can be problematic sure situations to watch yeah i am very thankful i didn't watch this with anybody around And I, it's only because of this show that anyone knows I had, I watched it and I don't feel like a better person because of it. And, but I, I, now I, you know, I'm going to chalk it up to knowing. Is this a confessional?

Hi, I'm Jeff over and I've watched. Hi. I feel like now, at least I know what this filmmaker is about. Sure. At least I know our top dog, Brian Brooks. Thank you, Brian, for choosing. Thank you, Brian. What a magical man. We love Brian. Talk about putting your money where your mouth is. He was like bugging me. Dude, you got to watch this. Dude, you got to watch this.

I'm like, what even is this? No, dude, seriously, you've got to watch this. Tell us more his background with this movie. He was on me, and he loves Anthony Wong, who is the main guy in this movie. Sure. He's been in a ton of shit. Right. Yeah. And a ton of legitimate shit. He came to it through that route of loving this actor. Yeah. And then seeing this wild ass fucking movie. Also saw this.

In a theater in the 90s. In San Francisco. That's the context I'm talking about from which you watch something like this. If you watch it in that context, loving the actor, in a theater with people, I might feel differently. Imagine seeing this movie. In the 90s in a fucking theater with people. That's what I'm saying. With other people. You think there are other people there? I don't know. This movie. It's just Brian Hall.

Looking around. Cracking his third beer. If you start the movie with other people, do they end it with all the same people? I bet you end it with less people. There's less people in that room. It's interesting. So you really wanted us to... or he wanted you to see this. Well, he really wanted me to see it. He kept on, he was like, dude, you gotta watch this. And then, you know, he...

he knows about the show. He's listening to stuff. Like he's seen us live. Yeah. He's seen us live. And he's been like, you know, he's like, Oh, you guys should do it. And I was like, dude, I don't know. Like I'm reading, reading about this movie and I don't know. You know? And he's like, how can i make you watch it and i was like well well you know funny you should ask and he's like fuck it yeah that's fucking badass brian you kick ass dude that fucking rules but so

Yeah, it's a rough one. So today... By this point, we've had some trigger warnings in the episode, right? Oh, we know. Yeah, we're going to start with the trigger warning. We're going to end with the trigger warning. Every fucking ten words is going to be a trigger warning. put another one right here this movie is rough if you if you have r for rough yeah rated hard r for rough

If the top dog has picked a rough, rough, rough one. Because this one is like, there's sexual assault. There is racial insensitivity. It is rough, rough, rough. There's like... murdering of kids. There's everything that runs the gamut of abusive behavior. And our main guy... What a hero to have as your protagonist. This guy. He is the worst human.

Of all time. Maybe not a good guy. Yeah. So trigger warning, if that doesn't sound like your cup of tea or anything you want to listen to or hear about, go ahead and skip this one. Yeah. Because we're going to be talking about some rough stuff. Yeah. It's rough. After this movie happened to me, I wrote Brian. I wrote him today. I was like, why did you do this to me?

I thought we were friends. I was like, so why was it again that you wanted us to watch a Bullis and Trim? I just finished it, and Jesus Christ. And he's laughing at me, and he says, because Anthony Wong is one of his favorites. And he's in this movie. I dig that. That's cool.

It's one of his favorite Anthony Wong movies. Wow. Which I was like, damn. He's a wild man. He is. It's terrible content. He's like, it's fucking terrible. Yeah. But he just started dropping some facts about it, like they really filmed in Africa. Did they? Yeah. No shit. Yeah. That's interesting. Yep. Okay. I really thought it was just like some field somewhere. No. Yeah. That was like really in Africa. They didn't have to go to Africa for that. No. They could have saved a couple bucks.

Yep, gonna save a couple bucks. If you want an all-expenses-paid trip to Africa. I mean, I don't know how many black folks are in Hong Kong, but you might have had to get them all to fill in what you needed for the Johannesburg section of the movie. But yeah, he was like... Yeah, he saw this at the Great Star Theater in SF in the 90s. Wow. That sounds awesome. Yeah. Yeah, but...

I bet he was like howling laughing watching the shit in a theater with people. And that sounds like a good time. You know, drink a couple beers with your homies or whatever. Right. That sounds like it could be pretty fun. Way to see it. Yeah, watching it alone next to your wife who's unhappy with the content. You said it now a couple times. Are you telling me you watch this with your wife? I have a confession. I watch this with my wife.

She was not happy. She did not enjoy it. Jesus Christ, dude. Holy shit. I mean, with her is loose. I watched it near her. With her in the room. With her there. Also listening and sort of paying attention. That's almost worse, though, because if there's no context, you just look up and there's that happening every five seconds. The man being the worst man in history. Like, oh.

Dude, there's an earlier movie that Anthony Wong did called Untold Story. And it weirdly has some similarities. It's based off a true story, but it really has some similarities to... stuff that's happening in this movie and particularly like him making food out of people. Right. And that, yeah, that fully is based off some real, real stuff. And, but there was this earlier movie that he played also the madman that's making food out of people based off the same story.

I guess so. I think this director's obsessed. It's called Untold Story is the name of the movie. That sounds very familiar, that title. Yeah. Wasn't there like a restaurant thing that was... It's called the something, something restaurant is because if not, then there's another one about making hamburgers out of people. Yeah. That's like something that I don't remember where that happened, but someone was making some fucking rowdy.

Hamburgers making people... Like some rowdy hamburgers? My name's Rowdy Hamburger. Yeah, so it's called The Eight Immortals is the name of the restaurant. But the movie is called The Eight Immortals Restaurant, The Untold Story. Okay. And it's basically like, yeah, like cops begin to suspect a man running a pork buns restaurant of murder.

after chasing the origin of a case of a case full of chopped up human remains, which leads them to him. But he's so like this guy's making, yeah, it's like basically a similar thing, but this is. That's only a portion of this movie. It's definitely not the entirety of what this movie is hinging on. Well, cannibals really love making other people eat...

Oh, yeah. They love it. They love to trick you. Oh, look at them. Enjoy the meat. Why does everyone always enjoy it so much? Well, you know how your mom, like, she'll make something and she's like, oh, you got to try it. You're going to love it, Jeffrey. Oh, here you go. It's like, and like savors you savoring it or eating it. It's the same thing. What do you think?

That's because his mom loves him. And wants him to put some meat on those bones. Skinny little Jeff. But why do those write people as enjoying human meat? The taste of human meat. I bet it's delicious. Even if it's dolled up. just right, got the right sauce on it, you think you'd just be like, mmm, that's pretty fucking good. I think if you eat meat and you eat... Yeah, we think we're just a long pig?

Yeah. It tastes like sweet, sweet bacon meats. Supposedly we do. Also, the weird thing is that hell, people have eaten human meat before and didn't know it. Why do you say that? Why would you say that? Because that's what I fed to you guys at one time. You said it was vegan. And earlier you said if it's human, it is vegan. Just dropping hints. Those red dogs, those were actually, those are, yeah, those are red rockets from a man.

That was actually Oscars wiener and Myers wiener. I tricked you. No, but like, that's like, like factual information that people have been given human meat. Forever. And most times dug it and didn't know. Fuck. And when they found out, even, they were like, dang, that was good. I wanted more of that. I was trying to see where I could get more of that. You mean it's not going to be as delicious next time? Get the taste for human meat and you're in trouble.

To me, it doesn't matter whatever the meat it is as long as the sauce is right. I'll eat any old meat. Any old things. Jeff! You know, you can eat anything else that's not meat with the sauce. You can put a fucking sauce on that vegetable. I'll eat that vegetable then. I don't care. That's what I'm saying.

The vessel doesn't matter. It's the sauce. I agree with you. That's one of the reasons I think it's easier to be vegetarian than people make it out to be. Well, that and also this movie proves it. It is far less dangerous to be vegetarian. Oh, yeah. Because eating meat.

You can get sick and shit your drawers, or you can get the Ebola virus. Yeah, you're about to get that Ebola. There you go. Although, wasn't there someone who got Ebola just like... You can get it from other ways. As we've seen. Everyone gets it from every way. Lick a dog's tongue. Oh, I have Ebola virus and I lick a dog's tongue all day. Are you a carrier, Josh? Have you been infecting everybody? Maybe.

Maybe. Here, dog, go kiss that person. This dude, Anthony Wong, in this movie... is fucking disgusting. He sure is, dude. Absolutely. On all counts. And I'm like, how is this guy getting so much ass, first of all? I don't know. Yeah. Right away, he was getting in for some, you know, some dude. His boss's wife. And she wanted it.

Yeah. Like, too short, three long, three hard. But he was talking, did you guys see, like, did you guys watch this with... Yes. Okay, you have to, right? Oh, yeah, yes. But like, yeah, when he's talking about like... Two fast, three slow. Yeah, and he's like doing like three strokes. Are you talking about his first fevered transaction with the... The very beginning. Lick it, lick it, suck it, suck it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That dude needs to relax.

The character needs to relax, and he was not relaxing, as we saw. Kaisan is the guy's name. Oh, my God. What's his name? Kai. Kaisan. Oh, yeah, this character's name. Yeah. There's a lot of good buns in this movie, though. I'll tell you that. You almost want to be a cannibal. I'm about to eat them things. African buns, dude. They look good. Them buns. But, dude, there's a fucking...

A couple of kills in here that I've never seen before. The, uh, right in the beginning, there's the death by folding table. Oh yeah. That's pretty fun. Yeah. Get fucking trapped in a folding table. Yeah. Stomping on it. Never seen that. That's fucking wild. It's pretty good. All with a child watching. I love that the premise... So, Kaisan is the worst of all time. Yep. And he...

Murders three people and then hits, then skips town. Yeah. And the only reason he gets found out is because his niece happens upon him in, no, is it South Africa? In Johannesburg. In Johannesburg, South Africa. And... smells him and almost pukes he must reek so bad she smelled him later in the movie she drives by him he's yards away and she starts gagging

Yeah, that's how she knows that he's close because she's gagging because he reeks. That is insane. The fact that this guy could get anyone to have sex with him, granted he was not a lot of the time.

He was taking advantage of... There was not consent. Yes. Yeah. But the fact that there were some consensual people in this movie... Only... Well, yeah. There was his ex, his wife. Yeah. Her name is Har. Yeah. And then boss's wife. And then two pros. And then just lots of hookers. Right. Which, of course, I mean, they're paid for. So, like, sex workers, you're going to pay them, of course, like, whatever. Like, they're going to have sex with whoever. Right. But...

The people that were consensually doing it for free, what the fuck? And they were like hot. Both of those ladies were hot shit. Not one thing comes out of Kai's mouth that is not disgusting. No, the way he's always like... Everything he says. He's always sniffing and wiping his nose. He's always sweaty for some reason. When he finally gets that little mustache on him, I'm like, you are just disgusting. Fucking gross.

Yeah. He's not a handsome man. No. He doesn't have a good personality. There's nothing redeeming about the character. Yeah. Nothing. I couldn't figure it out. Except for when he had the money. I'm like, oh yeah, now I get it. but the worst part about people like this too, is he's this guy that like, he's so fucking horrible. So goddamn mean, so shitty, but then acts the victim.

Everybody's bullying me. Everybody's bullying me. That's the punchline. Right? You bully me. Yeah. Like, what? You. Although, it is tricky to trust this movie when you're like... You're reading all the subtitles because everything is in... Is it Cantonese? Hong Kong, whatever that be. I think it's Cantonese. Cantonese? Yeah.

And then, so you're, everything is in, is, is a language I don't understand because I'm reading the subtitles. And then you are, then all of a sudden you're in Johannesburg and everyone's speaking English. Yeah. Yeah. And you're reading the subtitles. You're like.

Oh, those are way off. Yeah, that's not right. Why are the subsitals still abbreviating things and stuff and making things super simple? And it's all definitely backwards. That's not what he just said. That's not even the idea he tried to convey. I'm like, do I have to trust that?

The Cantonese is being translated properly. Right. I'm not going to believe it. Yeah. Yeah. Which might have made him sound more psycho than he maybe does. Yeah, sure. If you understand the language. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it's more awkward. Yeah. Cause the way he like, the way he delivers his lines and the way he like his maniacal laugh is weird. Fucking. Oh yeah. Like I was like, what is what? Like, what did you decide on for this?

character you're like this guy is obviously a good actor he's a good he's been in tons of shit where he plays like stoic good people right yeah and then in this he's playing the worst man in all of Hong Kong and Africa. Yeah. Wherever he goes, he's the worst man there. Yeah. And he, and then just like, yeah, I don't, I just don't understand it. Cause he's like the most unlikable person.

Ever. And that's just one of the problems. Is that you have the single worst human being as your main character is only one of the problems of this movie. Yeah. The other one is the... Like, if this were a movie about a disease that doesn't exist, like Zyngaia, for instance. Right, right, right. Like, if this was about that, the dead alive fucking rat monkey fucking disease, then yeah.

Go ahead, make it a flesh eating virus that makes everyone give it all the symptoms of Ebola. You know how many people have died of Ebola? Like this movie. Yeah. Like that's fucked. And it's not in a way it's like, oh, be careful. It's not like Contagion where you're like, oh, be careful. This is how to be, you know, don't do the, take care of these steps. This is like exploitative in a major way about...

And insensitive about something that really happened to lots of people. Totally. And that a guy takes... The premise is that he sexually assaults a dying African woman. Because when he goes to this fucking Zulu camp to get cheap meat... Dog. Just saying that alone, you're like, what? Killing real chickens in that scene, too. They're definitely killing all real animals. Real mice, rats. All real shit. I'm like, why did there have to be a mouse ran over?

They framed that to run over a mouse. Yeah. They put a live rat down, then they drove right over it. Right. For cinema. No, there's a reason why the end of every movie you see says no animals were harmed. Because it's important that no animals were harmed. Anthony Wong...

Definitely made sure at one point to make sure everyone knew that he did not kill those frogs. That was a different person that was killing those frogs. A, because he said that that takes skill to do what that person was doing, but also because he thinks it's incredibly cruel.

And he wouldn't do that. Which is so funny to hear this guy say that. He'll look away while they do it, huh? Yeah. I'm sure he watches this movie every weekend to remind himself of how... wonderful his career is yeah thanks for the paycheck I didn't do it looking away it wasn't me yeah but I

I accepted the money, but there is, there are ways like there's whole system set up to make sure that animals are humanely killed, like religiously, literally religiously, whether it be halal, whether it be kosher, those things are. in place to make sure the animals aren't, well, that's not necessarily true, but that they're being killed in a way that's not the worst. Right. Cutting live frogs' heads off.

Is the worst. And tearing a chicken's head off. Oh, yeah. So many chickens' heads off. But there's one in particular. They were cutting heads off. Then the last one, the dude just tore it off. I mean, they do that. I know. That's how a lot of people kill chickens, man. They give it a little fucking... twist and snap his neck but the part of it that is interesting is that like because of religion and culture like that's not crazy but like us

Eating tofu might be wild to an African Zulu person. You know, I ate nuggets today. I can't be too mad about this dude fucking killing a chicken. What a hypocrite I would be. Well, yeah, there is that thing like... Because we don't know that they didn't cook it up after that. They did the scene and got its feathers off and fried it up. But they were full of Ebola, Jeff.

They filled a bowl of chicken. A bowl of chicken. A bowl of chicken. With chicken meat. Yeah, I mean, yeah. That's the thing, too. At my house. It's not the cleanest house. But I'll tell you, I don't have to literally disinfect every surface I've ever prepared food on. In fact, I don't have to do that ever. I can take a pan I cooked everything in.

Give it a good scrub. Like, not even a good scrub. Give it a light scrub and dry it off and put it back on the fucking thing. There's nothing in there that's going to give me a disease. Yeah. And... Ebola or salmonella or E. coli or any of that shit. Right. Not really. I mean, that's not true. A lot of that stuff will transfer in vegetables too. E. coli and some of that stuff. But that's because of the meat industry that gets into our vegetables. Exactly. Right. So.

Right. It's nuts. I mean, I'm fortunate in that way. And I don't, I'm always thinking like, if I prepared meat in this house, we'd have to do a lot more fucking kitchen work. It's hectic. You know, this movie was wild to me because... It is campy. Like there's a bunch, like the weird shots of like inside his mouth and the germs and like weird stuff. There's jokes. It's jokes, right? Silliness. There's no funny jokes though. No, it's, it's very mean jokes. Yeah. They're not, they're like, but.

They're like Benny Hill style jokes. It's Mr. Magoo Ebola virus. It's Mr. Magoo extreme. Right? Like extreme content. Magoo bumbling his ass from country to country, infecting, infecting everybody kind of on purpose spitting, especially when he finds out the end movie, when he finds out he's a carrier, he is doing his damnedest to get, give everybody Ebola. Yeah. And I'm like,

Dude, he infected so many people in the trickle down of that. There's no way that they were able to contain it after the show. Just with the prostitutes he banged. They went off and probably had many customers.

There you go. You know what? Bing, bang, boom. You got the whole world. They didn't really have time. Apparently, it takes hold within 15 minutes. Is that how long it is? I mean, it's not very long. I mean, yeah, I don't know what the actual Ebola virus is like. So they got at least 20. Yeah. That's what I'm hearing. The guy in the subway, the crowded-ass subway that's fucking seizing up and spitting out.

Uh, like every person like was in contact with more people and was definitely breathing on them and sneezing. And like, all I could think about was like, there's dude, this is. Now it's 28 days later. Yeah. Because of this fucking guy. Yeah. And how did he, he was like dying of it. And then as soon as, you know, sexual assault was on the table, he like cleared right up. He was, he was fine. Yeah. Like I think that like.

It was like, that's how he became immune is all of a sudden he was just like, I don't want to do that. I want to do this. I'd rather not die of a bull. I'd rather. Yeah. treat these prostitutes really badly well the original one yeah his wife as a boss no his boss's wife well yeah his boss it was second boss's wife second boss's wife he was like dying in the back room and then he's like oh i gotta go assault her

I'm fine now. Dude, it's brutal. When he fucking kills his boss with smashing him in the door and all the shit. Pulls his eye out. Oh, yeah. He sucked his fucking... No, he sucked her eyeball out. That's right. I don't know. He sucked somebody's eyeball out. Do you remember that? Like, he just... How do you even think of that? If you're just a normal dude.

That dude is constantly like, yeah, I just murdered everybody. I just murdered this household full of people and I have to run away to Africa. And 10 years later, I'm like, I just murdered my boss and his wife. Right.

Yeah, now I have to go and kill three more people. Now I gotta go back to Hong Kong. Go somewhere else. Yeah, right? He jizzed in some meat, too. Oh, that scene was... He jerked it in a meat pile. You know what, though? Like... I've known dudes that have done shit like that. Yeah, we have one that calls in like every fucking week. Fucking imagine if you ever ate any meat. Okay, that's true. I'm sorry. Like restaurant level.

horrendous shit, dude. You guys ever work in restaurants? I worked in a restaurant. I never did anything like that. But I never would have. I've worked with people with disabilities and I was warned about a young man who would offer people popcorn and... The salt on that popcorn was something else. Gross. So I was born to never accept food from this one gentleman because he would do that. See, and he'd love to see you eat it. See, you did it again. Once he ate it.

He's like a mom or a cannibal. He's like, ooh, he's eating it. Oh, he's enjoying it, too. Well, I want to apologize to our sloppy pee buddy. I wronged you there. I'm sorry. It was only pockets and jeans. I'm sorry. It was only pockets. You were only infecting pockets and jeans. Hence the name sloppy pockets. Someone put their hand on those pockets. I don't know. I'm sorry. They had a cut on their hand.

I don't know. Next thing you know, AIDS gun. Yeah, the AIDS gun definitely was also pretty. Yeah, that's a Sloppy P original too. Pretty criminal. So Sloppy P, have you seen this movie? Oh, he probably loves this movie. He probably saw this movie and then started his life a crime. I like that since his younger years, Sloppy P's turned it around. Yeah. He's an upstanding citizen now What do you mean by turn it around You mean the end of his dick back in his own mouth Yes

Again, I'd like to apologize to Sloppy P. That's a pot shot. I'm sorry for that. That was rude. He's brought us a lot of joy here on the podcast. A lot of wonderful things for us. A lot of great stories. One of the greatest people we could have ever happened to found us is Sloppy P. So thank you again. And I'm sorry for what I said about you turning your dick right back into your own mouth to ejaculate into your own.

On your own tongue. And enjoy it. And love it. And look at yourself in the mirror and say, oh, he's loving it. He's enjoying it. I would never say that. As it dribbles out of your mouth. I would never say that. And if I did, I'd like to apologize. Again. Yuck. Yuck, sloppy pee. Pee? Dude, again? Pee? Fuck it.

oh yeah like the storyline with like the the niece like well okay he kills all those people and then he's pouring gasoline on his oh my god And is ready to set her ablaze. A child. She's like, 10. What a rough way to do it, man. That's not easy. And then the other guy comes in. What are you doing? He's like...

I'm trying to kill him. I'm trying to get this match lit. Can't you see that? And he just walks out and never comes back. He says, like, is that a problem? Yeah. And walks out. I'm trying to kill these people. If you don't mind, like, dog, I mind. I mind big time. But. Yeah, but what are the chances that she would then grow up and then be on some trip and just happen upon this little restaurant in Johannesburg and smell his dirty ass?

Doesn't recognize his face. He looks just the same. Which is, yeah, that's nuts. Nuts. But definitely can smell him and starts gagging in the restaurant. Fucking throws her cookies everywhere. Yeah. Bjarfs. Yeah, just like... Man. I mean, I like that scene where they go to the police station to report him. Like, yeah, you're not giving him much to go off of here. He smells horrible. I think it's him. He's murdered, Rainbow! He smells like shit. Yeah. The cop's just like...

Yeah, no. It's like, who's going to prosecute? That's not good enough evidence. God damn. She's right, but also he's right in that situation. When it comes around, when the police chief puts it together and is like... Wait. Oh, fuck. Damn. He was right? Yeah. I was like, you fucking piece of shit.

always believe women yeah sure but like if you someone came to you with that evidence like that that's not evident they smell like someone I remember yeah from a from a cop's point of view I mean they're never gonna you know do anything so like yeah who is that your soup you have a super sniffer and that's I mean that's connected to trauma I think that's a big that's probably why she doesn't remember what he looks like she's like blacking that part up but she

how's that other part didn't what she say was the smell of blood or something yeah the smell right not just like bo but no it's a smell of blood blood right which is like weird because like

That was the first time him, well, maybe that was the first time him killing people. It's booty and blood is probably what she's smelling. It's definitely his own underpants. Because he was just writhing in the next room before everyone got killed. Definitely had a stinky finger or two.

You know he did. I saw he was handling that booty cheeks. He didn't know what he wanted to do with those things. Suck it. Lick it. Fuck it. Suck it. That dude is having, he's fevered. Yeah, he was convulsing on them cheeks. sex workers later, I'm like...

Dude, you don't need two sex workers. You barely lasted five seconds with two ladies. I appreciate him evening it out. Three for you, three for you, three for you, three for you. I didn't even say it. It's so funny that he would narrate his sex. It's, you know. Shut up. I'm inspired. Two short, three long. And here's the goo. I don't feel like he was... A little for you, a little for you. On one cheek. Ebola, Ebola.

when they oh my god when they do the close-up when the sex worker's gonna kiss him and it's his close-up of his mouth I was fucking grossed out out of all the scenes that grossed me out the most I know Which had, like, suck on his tongue. I was like, oh, God. Because he's all slobbery and he's got a little shitty fucking John Waters. I feel bad for her just as a prostitute and then as an actress. Yeah. I was like, fuck, this is rough. I don't know what about a money would...

make me do that. They're priced for sure, but I don't know what that is. Yeah, I would do it. That's how I get it twisted. I would do it. I will do it. If need be. The bummer is that she only got a hundred bucks. And the other chick got three. Yeah, she was greedy. Yeah. That was like a fucking weird... That was a weird power trip, yeah. Fuck, that guy would have... I really didn't understand, like...

I don't know how they knew what game he was playing. Because he was just looking down at the stack like, what am I supposed to do with that? Hand that to me? Take the whole stack? Just take one at a time? Peel one off? I thought she just did a little one and was scared. Just peel it? Is that cool? Yeah. He's like... No. Yeah, it was nicer than the one he didn't finish in. Like his favorite. Right. He didn't pay her enough. Yeah. He forced to kiss his weird mustache. The scene inside the mouth...

looking out through the teeth with like the germs floating around. Yeah. That was great. It's pretty funny. Cause also then to be sneezed and all the germs are all like through the air into the other lady's mouth. I'm like, Oh, just snoring away. You're asleep at work and you're now you're dead. The whole idea that this is like a comedy. It says comedy in IMDb at some point. Body horror and comedy are like right there.

Hysterical. Crime, definitely. Crime's right. Yeah, the director is a criminal. Who's the director? He did some crazy shit. What directing did he even do? He just set up a camera and said, go. Nick's not telling any story. The shots were so hideous. He directed those movies, the IP man movies. Have you ever heard of one of those? Okay. I think he did like, Oh, like four or something. Okay. A lot of action. A lot of like action shit.

Yeah, a lot of action. You would never know the camera. There was like no action in the camera. But then there'd be a scene like, I'm going to jump to the end, but the fire scene is unreal. Like the man on fire. The stunt was great. Incredible. That stunt was sick. Is it me or did it look like there's mostly not actors on the road, like on the streets and shit? Yeah. And I feel like, well, I know this.

just my intuition tells me that every time someone would drop and convulse in the subway that was not that was not planned right no one else knew there's a lot of people reacting naturally to that yeah and i think that's probably this the nature of the filmmaker like he doesn't give a shit about your feelings

He definitely does not. You know how I know? Because he doesn't give a shit about my feelings. Yeah, no, my feelings are hurt. I got hurt bad watching this. I've been wronged. Yeah. So, like, he certainly doesn't give a shit about an actual public place to get a shot where, like...

You think he hired 100 actors or you think he had 100 people on the subway and he had one guy spaz out? It seemed like at the end you could see people walking, crossing the street in the back and they're like, what the fuck's going on? When the guy's on fire. Well, not even that big before. We were just spitting and just holding a girl.

and there's people holding guns to him. There's people just walking. They don't look like actors at all. That's what I'm saying. I think that they were filming a lot of this just out. Just guerrilla style. I think it's guerrilla style, yeah. But yeah, that fire stunt where he's on fire and then gets hit by a car, that's fucking wild, man. Like, how do you not accidentally breathe?

in the fucking flames when you're getting hit. Yeah. That's a crazy stunt. And there were people also like catching fire because he was rolling into them. Right. Like there was a guy whose leg was on fire. It didn't necessarily look like it was... It didn't look like it was...

sanctioned. Yeah, yeah. And he yells at the other guy, hey, put him out. Help him. Do you notice how the guys in the suits, how they were all so fogged? Like, those things clearly weren't working. They were so, I could barely see out of them. Yeah, they're all fogged the fuck up. Who's there?

yeah yeah the two the two chuckle fuck cops the girl and the guy who are just like the most useless yeah cops i've ever fucking seen and then like the supposed hero cop who's super afraid of getting ebola of course gets it Yeah. Fucking hard. Yeah. Gets fucking his suit cut, blood blown. Dude, that was gnarly. He gets shot in the arm. Sucks his own blood. Sucks his blood out of his fucking bullet hole and then blasts the cop with blood. Yeah.

And did that to multiple people on the street too. Just spitting blood into people's faces. Yeah, it's insane. And then also I was confused by when he's carrying the little girl and later on I'm like... Who's overdubbed by a grown woman? Clearly. So weird. Anyways, go on. But like there's the scene where...

she's dead and he's carrying her and it didn't look like a dummy, but the way he was carrying her looked fucked up. It looked fucked up. Yeah. So I was like, is that a dummy or is that, are you carrying that poor little girl? Maybe knocked her out. Cause she's, does he think she really died?

I don't know, because it looked like it was just slinging around by her neck. Yeah. Oh, that's not a good angle for that neck. It didn't look like a dummy to me. If that was a dummy, I'm very impressed for a 1996 dummy. Isn't that also when he's dragging the girl around, and he kills that little girl?

Right? Well, yeah, by accident. Maybe for real. Maybe for real. Yeah, maybe for real. But he drops the body of the girl. Yeah. And he goes, not my fault. Yeah. Well. Yeah, maybe it was, though, dog. That's a whole guy's full-on mantra. That's his MO. Not my fault. Don't bully me. You did this to me. Stop bullying me. Yeah. This is your fault. I wouldn't have to do this if you weren't doing something. I'm going to kill you because you bullied me. Oh, you shot me. Now I got to infect the world.

dude it's got a little bit of like henry portrait of a serial killer about it because it's looks like it's the worst people doing the worst shit you know right senselessly yeah senselessly totally and just yeah and it's also but it like It's just like, there's no regard for your fucking sensibilities in this movie. It's hard to watch. His brain is broke because the decision that you would make would be like...

you know, A or B, B being the wrong answer, he only sees B. He only will go to the wrong bad answer is all the way he lives his life. And it's fucking rough. Yeah. Yeah. Like, he's... Saying, like, when he kills his boss and then finds his stash of money, he's like, oh, I'm so smart. I found your stash. Like, dog, you just killed three people. Yeah. He's just sitting there swimming and then fucking, just fucking, oh, I'm so smart.

Yeah, he's like, I mean, class A narcissist, right? I have a hard time. Like, why'd you make this movie? Why'd you do it? It's so fun. Especially because there's another movie that has... Kind of the same stuff going on. A couple years earlier. It's so bizarre. I'm curious now. I kind of want to watch Untold Story. I can't believe I said that. But I kind of want to watch it now because I'm very curious. Because supposedly that's the way he got this job was because of that movie.

Like they were straight up. Oh, you make human meat. Yeah, you've done it before. They killed three people and ground up their fucking bodies and made African buns. African buns. Hell of hamburgers. They're all, Chinese restaurant serves hamburgers? Well, these are African buns. Yeah. Dude. Yeah, you know, a hamburger from the Chinese restaurant in Africa. Yum. Dead. Nothing suspicious about that.

The buns did look tasty. Fluffy and good. The guys are like, oh yeah, he said that our bosses went to Taiwan and never... Came back. But we haven't been paid, and it's been a couple weeks, and we haven't heard from them. They're just going to work still? I'm still working? Yeah. Got to keep the hamburgers flowing. Those are some good employees. Seriously. You want to pay those guys. Yeah. Just show up for free.

For weeks? Yeah. Damn. I'm not doing it. Yeah, you're going to find me doing that. Second day after I don't know where my boss is at, I'm not showing up. Yeah, this company's shutting down. I sent you an email. Weirdly, this guy too, though, is sitting there running the restaurant properly, but under bad...

Management. Yeah, but is he still making them African buns or what? Yeah, no, I'm saying like he was serving those up more. He was giving them away. That one guy's like, oh, you guys serve hot hamburgers? Yeah, let me hold on. Let me get you one. He's all here. Give him one. We have one hot dog. That's all we could get. African long dog. Yeah, but he's like running it like he was like, he was way more with it.

running the restaurant like it was like what the fuck you like you're a madman and you're somehow yeah i don't know it's fucking bananas oh god guys it is rough it hurt me it's a crazy crazy movie I don't suggest this to anyone. I can't suggest this to anyone. I couldn't believe what we were watching. This shit is fucking depraved in a serious way. That meat scene alone of him fucking the meat and just like...

Listening to other people fuck through the wall. Which that fuck scene was the weirdest fuck scene I've ever seen in my entire life. What was that move? The back and forth? The up and down? Deeper. And he was just like... She was bending all the way back. I don't even know what the fuck was happening. There was some gymnastics involved, but it didn't make any sense. How does that feel good for anybody? Yeah.

Or maybe that's not the point. I don't know. Yeah, they're rocking back and forth trying to get a big old somersault in eventually. They link together and just start rolling out the door. Yeah, I was very confused by that sex scene. But... like i just don't yeah i don't know uh that's that meat scene killed me that was like that was when i was like what am i watching is that one of your biggest meat fears

No, I mean, you're not going to eat it. I don't want to eat meat and especially tainted semen meat. Just the idea that like how fucking disgusting that is and that people do that shit. Does anyone jizz in vegan? I'm sure they do. Dude, I've just seen recently that fucking some Uber delivery guy was jizzing in people's food. Yeah, but it hasn't been reported like a vegan restaurant or a vegetarian restaurant. I mean, I haven't seen that, but... I like your...

Check the ranch on that salad. I'm sure it's happened. I'm sure some vegan employee. You always hear about it like fucking at a burger joint or some shit like that. My worry about that is that some fucking vegan hater gets a job at a vegan restaurant just to do that shit. Like, just because they hate vegetarians and vegans so much, they're like, fuck you guys. I'm going to go. I don't know about fucking jizz, but I got Asperger's the other day.

It's a McDonald's, and I was going to chomp on my burger. Ass burgers. I was like, what? You got autism? It smelled like a butt. It smelled like... No! I stopped eating it. I already took bites of it and I'm like, smell it. I'm like, did I not wipe? Like, I'm smelling my hands. No, I wiped good. I totally wiped. And then I smelled the burger and it's fully like it was between... Two ass cheeks. It might have been. That's what I think. And I haven't had that. I haven't had McDonald's since.

I got Asperger's. Have you guys ever seen Road Trip? Yeah, I think so. When they stop at that diner, Horatio Sands is the fucking sloppy-ass diner worker who is doing that, where he's fully takes a pancake and wipes his ass with it and puts it back on the fucking...

Fucking gross, dude. I think it happened to me. And I ate some of it. That shit happens. Because they get paid fucking pennies. And they fucking are treated like shit. I don't blame them. I don't blame them. But I also hate the fact that, like... To thinking that. Yeah. Yeah. It's turned me off. I didn't do that to you. I don't love it. But I'm supporting it, so I guess I should eat an Asperger. I don't deserve an Asperger. I pay money. I'm giving you money.

You're not giving them money. And I'm very nice. You're not giving them anything, Jeff. Okay, that's fair. But I give somebody money that gives them money. I don't know. Yeah, but like, yeah. It's not my fault. That's justification though for them to give you an Asperger. I would love for them to get paid 30 bucks an hour, but I can't do that. I don't make that call. Sure. Meat is too cheap.

And when you have cheap meat, you're going to get an Asperger. You're going to get a butthole burger one of these days. I got Asperger's.

dude that's fucking rough it was it was the fucking grossest thing ever I wanted to I was like sweating the rest of the day just like I'm gonna get sick I'm gonna puke give it an hour I'm gonna start vomiting just shit your lungs off yeah like what's the yeah the stink palm thing like that thing still makes me nauseous right the pretzels fucking all rats like that shit like I don't know if the science is right but I know it's not necessarily wrong

You're going to get sick if someone touched a doo-doo finger to a pretzel, a yogurt-covered pretzel. Oh, God, dude. It's just fucking wrong. I couldn't believe I didn't get sick. There's... I follow a strict moral code. I could never do that to somebody. I'm sorry. I've done some shit, but I can't do that. I can't fucking do that. I would never do something like put my own...

funk on a front of food. I might have mentioned before I tried to poison a guy with Wendy's fucking burger out of the trash burger pile. Long time ago. Josh is the criminal, too. I forgot about that. Sorry, Sloppy P. Josh is the criminal. I'm sorry. I might be closer to this guy in the movie than Sloppy P is. Because I made a man sick on purpose. If you show up tomorrow with that little mustache, you're going to be so bummed. Such growing your ponytail out. Just fevered.

Lick it, suck it, lick it, suck it. One, two, three. Oh, my God. I want to know, like, are there other movies, like Hong Kong movies or movies made by this guy, when people are having sex, do they always do that?

One, two, three. How do you ever had sex before? That's what I want to know. One, two, three. I mean, he's... I want to try it with my wife and see how she feels when I'm counting my thrusts. Two long? One short? Yeah. What does that even mean? Three hard. Yeah. What? Just a quick one, two, three, four. five, six, seven. Speaking of Asperger's. What the fuck are you doing, Jeff? I lost my count.

O.C. deep dicking. Yes, ma'am. Oh. Brian Brooks, I love you, buddy, but what have you done? Dov, you've revealed something about yourself we never knew. You are a new level of depraved. We knew we were depraved, but not this level. I respect it. I respect the decision to make us watch this. I mean, he knew... He knew what would happen. Yeah, he knows this is the worst. That's what he likes about it. I talked to him about it extensively, about this director and this actor, and he was...

He had trouble picking which one of the depraved movies he was going to choose. Yeah, me too. Totally. He's like, you can watch this one. You can watch this one. This one's horrible. You should watch Ebola Syndrome. Definitely do that one. Someone's fucked. He was listing them all out, and I'm like, oh, that sounds good. Oh, that sounds cool. And then he said Ebola Syndrome. I'm like...

That's the worst sounding one. That's what you should watch. That sounds, it's called, and I was like, why is it called Ebola syndrome? It's not Ebola virus. It took a while to get there too. Do you guys notice that? The movie itself took a while. It's like the last quarter is Ebola. Yeah. There was a lot of unnecessary stuff.

So much of it. I did not need to see the, like, like the way that he even got the virus. I'm like, that could have been abbreviated. Couldn't it just have been like swapping spit or something like that? Yeah. Like that dude. can't help himself, but to fuck anything that is literally moving. Yeah. Especially something that's convulsing and not able to have any agency. Right. What a terrible, I mean, okay. I did enjoy all the nudity.

I'm not going to say I didn't like all that. All of it? Sure. Well, yeah. Okay, maybe not all of it. But there was... I'm not mad about a lot of it. Sure. I'm new to thee, but it's also... It's still fun. I know the... these things aren't real. This is, you know, artistic representation of terrible things. Right. So I can still kind of enjoy a nice nude body.

Yeah, but it's hard to say there are any sexy moments in the movie either. Oh, it's not hot. No, it's not hot. I don't mind seeing naked people. It's just fun. It's just fun to see naked people. But it is, yeah, there's no, you're not going to be like. I'm not fantasizing about this movie later on. Yeah. No, this movie might be doing the opposite. Yeah, it's turning me off meat in like all ways. This has happened to me before where I.

Because of a Patreon pic, I wanted to chop my dick off and throw it in a fucking garbage can. And if someone has a burger. It literally took six months for me to look in his single eye again and be like, okay. We're on the same team again. Are we good, dog? Yes, Josh, we're good. Thanks, Jeff. No, that's your dick. That's your dick talking to you. Oh, yes, Josh. Suck me.

I keep trying. It's harder than in my dreams. Oh my god. The bumbliness of him and him still being able to like... live his life and doing all this shit and he's traveling and all this shit he's doing and like how did he get around there's no way he's making they told him he wasn't uh they weren't paying him jack shit to work at the restaurant because they knew he's a felon of some kind right yeah they knew he killed somebody yeah

That guy later was like, oh yeah, the lady told me that he killed someone and then he moved here because he's on the run. Oh, are you talking about the guy that killed someone? Oh, I just came home. Oh, yeah. Yes, of course we're talking about that. Of course that's what people are, the cops are there for.

Oh, the guy who killed someone. You know, the murderer that you work with every day. Yeah. Right. I did hear about that. I forgot. Somehow I forgot. The guy I work with is a fucking creep. And we trust him to fucking cook? Oh, the murderer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he can close up tonight. I feel fine about that.

The guy's like, I didn't make those burgers. Kai made those burgers. Those ass burgers were Kai's. Which is literal ass. Those are some real chicks. Yeah, they were. He said it. He's like, that's from the... buns within buns man what'd he say he was like well that's a good meat he's all from the from the rump or something like that yeah and he's watching people eat it and he's laughing just like your mama he loves it

Look at him. Interesting about my mama. He's enjoying it. Fuck, man. Yeah. Probably won't be watching this one again, guys. No, I don't see myself revisiting. Yeah. But of course, I did admit that I probably will watch Untold Story. And I feel like that might be less depraved somehow, even though it's about a fucking horrible man also. I have a feeling it's going to be along the same lines.

Yep. Maybe Brian will watch it with you. That's the way to do it. Watch it with Brian because then you'll get... See it through his, yeah, his eyes. Because he'll be laughing the whole time like a psychopath. He'll be looking at me. Brian Brooks. Watching you watch it, yeah. Feeding you food. Asperger's.

Better be dipped in sauce, though. Oh, yeah. Fucking doo-doo-nays. Yeah, there was so much. He was putting so much ketchup on those fucking burgers, too. Good. The only way. It's the only way. So much. It's got to be sloppy and wet. They were definitely sloppy. They were definitely wet. I hate it. I stank. I hate it. When that guy lifted up the lid, the cop, after they came back, he lifted up the... Asperger's, dude. Refrigerate the Asperger's.

Put the butts in the fridge. It's been weeks. You still serving the same burgers? Off the counter? No, please. No, please. No. Good Lord. Well.

Thanks, Brian Brooks. Now I'm hungry. I definitely had to eat dinner during watching it. No way, dude. It was rough. I couldn't even do it just looking at that dude's sweaty face. Yeah.

Because I looked at other images of him from other movies where he looks like a police chief or like some other stuff. Dude, you sent him a photo in the group chat. I'm like, who's this handsome guy? Right. Yeah. And you're like, you're telling me that's the fucking main dude for this? Yeah. Crazy. Normal. Yeah. Normal dude.

So I guess good actor? That's the thing. Like, again, Michael Rooker, good actor, endearing person, was Henry portrait of a serial killer, right? So like, and that is a depraved character, like a dead inside maniac. so he can do it he doesn't have to

Why'd he do it? Why'd he kill those frogs? Dude. But I let it happen. That was so, like, and it wasn't just, like, one. Again, it's like a handful. People eat frogs, so it does happen. No, totally. I mean, that's probably from a real restaurant. They probably serve.

it up and ate it. Someone probably ate that shit. I'm sure. I'm sure. It wasn't even him. It was some actual cook. Chef. Yeah. Chef who just really cuts the heads off live frogs. Yeah. Maybe that's the fastest way to kill him. I don't know. Maybe that's the most humane way. I'm sure it is. No? But...

was that africa yeah so like with the chickens at least yeah with the chicken but the frogs were probably it was hong kong yeah might have been hong kong well i'll tell you there's there's lots to eat i don't know the best way to kill a frog i'll admit

I don't know either. I've never eaten a frog. I killed the frog one time. Oh, so you're the criminal. Did you do it the best way? No, I did it the weirdest way. Oh, no. Do you tell? So... I had an aunt and an uncle that had this giant property. It had like hundreds of acres. Really fucking cool property. Got to go stay out there sometimes during the summer and like hang out with my crazy step cousins and shit. Anyways.

There was a bunch of frogs in this pond. And so we all went and got some. You just take a bucket and dip it in. There's all these little baby frogs. They're the little ones. Sure. And then, of course, we were like, oh, that's fucked up. Like, we should put them all back and stuff. And I was like, well, I want to keep one. I want to keep one as a pet, is my brain, is my fucking child-addled brain. I want to keep one. So I'd also found, because there's an Old West...

junkyard on their property not even joking old west fucking wagon wheels and crazy shit out there i wish i could go back now it'd be insane there was a fucking amethyst fucking load out there that was amazing that i just like Saw and couldn't do anything because it was too heavy to carry or anything. Crazy shit on their property. But I decided to keep this one mouse and I had a frog. Sorry. This one frog. And I had this weird...

frying pan that I found at the Old West Junkyard. And I was like, oh, the frog can just stay in here and I'll just leave it in the sun. Brian, you cooked a frog. I fucking cooked this poor frog. I see why you don't eat meat. You can't be trusted. You can't be trusted. Dude, I came back like an hour later and I was like, oh no. Like, it was a little fucking, just a little crispy frog. Like, just like, and the poor guy.

Poor guy didn't even try to escape. He was just in the same spot, afraid for his life, and just crispied up like that. It must have been that thing that happens with lobsters, where you just cook them slowly, and they don't know that they're... Before they know it. Or they just turn the heat slowly. Or like a frog in a hot tub, yeah. It's kind of hot in here.

Oh my gosh. Buddy. That's so funny. Heartbroken. How have you not told me this story before? Heartbroken. I was going to keep up. Oh, Chef Brian. So fucked up.

I also tried to bring home a rabied bat, but that, you know... There was this crazy abandoned schoolhouse on their property. It had a million bats that we would go throw rocks at and then try to get them to just fly around. And I accidentally got one that we'd kill by accident. capture it in a pot I had a bottle boiling I had a little weird jar that like had a lid and so my stepmom shows up to pick us up and I was like check this out I'm bringing this home

And she's a fucking dead bat in a jar with a lid on it. And she's like, what the? No, you're not. No, you're not. Go wash your hands. I'm trying to make the Ebola syndrome. At home kit. Jesus.

Brian, did you hear about that guy who got busted with all the fucking dead bodies in his car? Dude, let's talk about that, dude. Let me tell me about it. Tell me you followed his Instagram. I didn't, but I've seen his Instagram now. You've seen it? Yeah, and I know a bunch of people that follow his Instagram. I do too.

Also, he was selling shit at fucking oddity cons and shit. Whoa. Straight grave robber shit. Does Josh know about this? I've never heard about it at all. Yeah, this guy got busted for grave robbing. Jonathan Grist Gerlach.

All kinds of shit. What do you mean, Graff Orlok? Yep. 34-year-old dude who, he had an Instagram account and he sold skulls. uh oddities and he also had his own collection he would show pictures from his own collection it's yeah like there's like mummified remains like heads and pets and bones and had all kinds of shit on his Instagram. There's a cemetery in Philadelphia, which I really love to go to, but it's kind of abandoned. Well, you know all the good shit's not...

It's all gone now. It's all gone now, yeah. Dude, it's fucked up. Like, I don't know, do not agree with him destroying all, like, because he was breaking into crypts. But this, in particular, cemetery, there was no, like... There wasn't like an office. There wasn't caretakers. It was like a free for all. And he was free for all in it. Like he was going in and breaking into and digging into like crypts, busting marble, getting stuff, pulling out.

parts of bodies bodies like probably jewelry too oh and they found all kinds of jewelry and stuff that he'd also gotten yeah he's probably making money and then yeah and then selling skulls skulls are they go like the fucked up part is you can't really like really for the most part prove the provenance of like a skull right so like you could just say it's from here or there or whatever but like they're not cheap

Like you can sell, especially in old school, which you can tell is an old school, you can sell for upwards of like five, $6,000, sometimes more. Wow. So like, and then like other, like newer schools or other, like maybe partial schools are like 2000.

So he's just digging up money and selling it to people thinking that they were just getting a legit skull from somebody. It's cowardly to steal a dead person's head. Dude, dude. So, there was reports of vandalism at the cemetery, and then... You're telling me the plot of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Essentially, he's the hitchhiker. But, like, they...

There was all these reports of like stuff getting broken into. And then so they did it. The cops decided to stake out the cemetery. Sting operation. Sure enough, the middle of the night, 3 a.m. Catch this dude walking back to his car. His car had bones in it. He had a bag with bones from children.

And some adults. And some skulls and shit. In the bag. What a fucking dummy. He's like, one, he's like, parked right there. Full. With shit. Full stuff, like, in view. Fucking moron. And he has his phone on him. So, like, they could track how many times he's been in that fucking cemetery. Yep. Fucking around, like.

Come on, bro. Moron. Yeah, if you're going to go in. And then he has an Instagram account with all the fucking shit he stole. Yeah. If you're a ghoul, that's a modern day ghoul and a dumb motherfucker to boot. Yep. Straight ghoul. You're the stupidest ghoul alive. Dude, it's gnarly, though, when you start looking at his page, because, like, the photos are straight-like. You're like, well, yeah, that stuff is definitely sketch.

like stuff that still has skin on it and like yeah stuff that's like really that's jerky face yeah you tell me you just you just pop those those heads right off yep thank you wow and a lot of them are like over 200 years old and shit like old bodies and stuff. Yeah, they don't need no more. Weirdly, I don't have necessarily a problem. I mean, I do. That's going to sound bad. That way I rephrase this.

Like, I don't think it's that – like, I don't think you're a murderer if you're a grave robber. Right. I don't agree with vandalizing. Like, he was breaking through a beautiful, you know, cement and marble – crips and things like that like if you're digging in the ground and you dig a dude up like it's horrible don't get me wrong i'm not trying to like say it's not just for the record but

Like, I don't think you're a fucking murderer. I don't think you're a fucking serial killer. Or if you own a skull, you're not, you're not a psychopath. Yeah. You know, like, so like there's those things, but like.

It's so funny hearing... You know how when stuff like this happens and then every TikTok person tells the story and does a whole... you know, a video thing of it. Yeah. True crime is hot. Yeah. And it's hilarious to see like the things that they, they say that aren't really true. Like people are like, he had a hundred dead bodies in his house and like he had.

parts from hundreds of bodies yes definitely had chunks of like finger bones and things but like these people are just like he had hundreds of bodies rotting and like all this stuff and it's like they made it sound like he had a like literally a basement filled with full bodies full skeletons, whatever. And like, and again, it's all bad. It's all bad news. Like he's a fucking ghoul a hundred percent. But like, it's just funny to hear people like don't know. They didn't even get it right.

Even when there's all the facts out there. You're still going to blow it up and be stupid about it. It doesn't need to be exaggerated. It's ghoulish already. Totally. You're a ghoul. But you know what also you could do? You could make a mold of those skulls and you could...

Keep selling them. You can sell really nice replicas of the skulls. Our friend, Kyle, that owns Skull Shop, makes incredible... replicas of skulls some of the best in the business if not the best in the business i highly suggest you go check out skullshop.com uh and buy their shit it's not even that expensive and they look amazing i've fooled many people i've had people that have gone and bought stuff

from him because they saw my photos of skulls and were like, where would you get that? You fooled the world, Brian. So it's like, you can do it. And it's very, you know, like, of course, yeah, maybe it's harder. I mean, I'm sure he spends a lot of time creating those skulls. Why would you? Yeah, why would you replicate a skull when you could go get a fresh one? Go dig one up. It is wild, though, when you think about, like, you know, times are fucking tough.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I have to go here. I have to go here, though. But, like, times are fucking tough. It's an expensive world to live in. Sometimes you've got to be a ghoul. I'm not saying I would be a ghoul. I love it. We got this on. We got this recorded. If you're comfortable being a ghoul.

then why the fuck not make a bunch of fucking money? If you are comfortable grabbing a head out of a mausoleum and destroying it, then you're probably comfortable doing that same thing for profit. Right. If you're a ghoul, now you're a ghoulionaire.

Congratulations. I'm going to be a ghoul anyway. Might as well be a rich ghoul. Seriously. But man, like, yeah, he, you know, he's just... doing it the wrong way like to have an Instagram account and like all that evidence like fucking moron man like yeah maybe he wanted to go to jail I mean like because he's going to in the realm of like Things that he's done, he did more than Ed Gein did.

Did Ed Gein kill people that were alive? Yeah, that's true. Ed Gein did kill two people. And he did more ghoulish shit by constructing stuff out of parts. But who knows? We don't know all the stories yet. We haven't seen everything from this season. He had a large store in inventory. He had a storage unit, his whole house. And his car. Yeah. And he had a, I mean, let's say the amount he did was more than Ed Gein.

I almost said James Dean. What? James Dean. We don't know. But I mean, who knows? He could have killed people. He could have made art out of it. He's basically a modern day game. Sick. So I bet he's got fans. He has one right here in the room, I think. Wait a second. I'm definitely not a fan. He's a fucking creep. He's a ghoul. But he's a pretty cool ghoul.

I like the way he thinks, is what I'm saying. No, again, I'm just saying, if I was somebody who was comfortable snatching skulls out of fucking crypts, that's a good way to make money for a minute. Now, being stupid about it... That's the difference. Yeah, he wasn't looking at the long game. No. And again, most of those people, 200 years ago, most of those people's families are gone. Yeah. They do not care.

They are long forgotten. Some of the videos and shit I've been seeing, people are like, he could have your brother in his house. No, no. Probably not. Maybe my great-grandmother. Maybe, but like... But she was a bee, so fuck it. But no, I don't know. He's a fucking ghoul. It's horrible. I definitely don't agree with just vandalizing cemeteries. That's what my...

I hate that shit so much. Yeah, because you like to enjoy a cemetery as a park, essentially. Yeah. And it's like beautiful architecture. These things are built, especially things that are hundreds of years old. They're like incredible. Those are irreplaceable. Some guy's dusty old dome.

Who cares? That thing's a dime a dozen. Everyone that ever lived has one of those dusty old things. Right. With a little raisin rattling around in it. Fucking hell, man. Yeah. It's gross, though. Yeah, it's gnarly. When I went and saw his page, I was like, oh. Because I could have easily been following this dude. No problem. I'm so surprised that you weren't already. I kind of was surprised, too, to be honest. Because, again.

a bunch of people that I do follow. I don't want to follow some weird shit like that. That's the thing. And you want to. It's like starting to listen to R. Kelly now. I can't now I was enjoying it before but I do follow a bunch of people that like sell skulls and do different stuff and now it's like it's one of those things where like

those oddities and like, uh, curiosities, flea markets and stuff like, they're going to have to be really careful about like, dude. Yeah. He's spoiled over everybody. Yeah. People are going to be rare. And like the people that maybe bought shit from him. Holy fuck. Uh, honey. What the fuck? Yeah, that crusty old fucking... Yeah.

Well, we knew it was a human skull for real. Yeah, you know what they got. Obviously, they don't know it. Thankfully, I got one. Yeah, exactly. You know exactly where it came from. And now it's maybe worth more because it did come from him.

So there you go. It just upped in value, I guess. Right, right. What an artist, you know? A fucking hitchhiker. Yeah. So gnarly, though. But yeah, I mean, I can just imagine the... boy that dude's house smelled because there's so much like rotting flesh that's still on a lot of that shit yeah I've smelled dusty dead bodies before it's rough fucking it's not a good smell yeah I just lived in an area where there's a lot of dead animals, so I would constantly smell that. Yeah.

I'd find the bones all the time that had a smell. Sure. Imagine that in your car and in your house. All over the place? All over you. Did he have a partner? It doesn't seem like he did. He couldn't have, right? I mean, yeah. Unless that partner was down. Right? Like would be blind and good smell. Yeah. Toxic Avenger style. I mean, it is one of those kind of hobbies that you need to be vanishing in the middle of the night. It's a ghoul hobby. Yeah, it's ghoul shit. Yeah.

I'm doing ghoul shit. I don't have time for a ghoul friend. Mark, write these down. Is anyone recording this? you're recording this oh fucking hell yeah that dude yeah that's pretty great that's that's nice that's a nice little piece of news I've been giving myself a 15-minute Instagram limit every day, and I've been blowing through it, sure, but not more than, you know.

I'm like, I can't do it. Every day, I literally, my day is eaten by Instagram, so I have to control myself. It's very easy to do that, for sure. I said it like, I was like, 15 minutes sounds good. That's fine. On a day where I have to post a fucking thing for a show, I'll... Give me a couple more minutes. I'm going to leave it alone. So I've been missing all the good shit.

Yeah. I mean, that one was like over like that. It made the real news and all the stuff too. So it was really like, I need to watch the real news. This just happened though. Blue. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good shit, but blew the fuck up also. Cause it is very, it's so ghoulish and everyone fucking loves that shit. Are you kidding? Everybody,

Fascinating. Everybody in the world is like, this is the juiciest fucking news. It's better than, yeah. I mean, that's more interesting to me than fucking the real shit, other real shit that's happening right now. Of course, yeah. Our president is a demented...

person flipping off the public these days. Very presidential. Very nice. I'd rather hear about the fucking guy that stole 250 skulls. At least that doesn't affect me. Right. Sorry, it doesn't affect me, him stealing skulls. And for the most part...

I'm sorry. I'm not really hurting anyone, I guess. It's kind of, I mean, victimless. I didn't say that. Brian said that. Victimless is like debatable because there's obviously probably still some relatives. 75-year-old guys, that was my dad. Yeah, like there's probably still.

some people that are you know but like for the most part it's fairly victimless but like you said it's a it's a abandoned gravesite anyways right yeah like that like no one's taking like there's no caretakers are not taking care of it so it's kind of running to disrepair anyways it's just dollar signs yeah yeah it's just easy picking you definitely know that there's no one there to like bug you when you are fucking chipping away

They had marble in the middle of the night and stuff. Yeah. If I was that guy, I'd just go find out who complained. This kid put their head on a fucking steak. Yeah. I was like, who tipped them off? Did they just find his Instagram? Well, looking at all the damage, like he did some fucked up stuff that was like so obvious.

like that i if i was like a fan of that cemetery and was walking around it just like for my my walks and stuff like i probably would report like hey dude some something's going on here there's a fucking hand out of this grave for so long where he's probably nice at first for

for a few years, and then he's like, nah, I still gotta get more. Yeah, I need to get money. I blew through all that. I gotta pay rent this month. I need fucking three more skulls. I've already, I worked at the Asperger place. I was selling booty burgers to Jeff. That guy's fucking probably affecting everybody.

the fucking body works. Yeah. Grody. To the max, Brian. I hate that it's going to come off like I'm some kind of sympathizer, but... Well, I mean, you're a major Ed Gein fan. Sure. I love that ghoul. I'm a fan of that ghoul. The ghoul is mine. All mine. I mean, yeah, probably King Ghoul is my favorite, but yeah. So it's adjacent. But, yeah, I know it was wrong, everybody. Brian knows right from wrong. He just loves how wrong it is. But he also told us he fucking cooked a frog. So, you know?

For a snack. I don't know. In a junkyard. Like a ghoul. This one didn't even eat it. How do you like that? What a waste. Some sweet, sweet meat. The tiniest patty with four arms and legs sticking off.

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We're stacking those up again. Maybe we'll do another voicemail episode down the road. Those are always fun. I love hearing from people, so please call in. Yeah, give us a call. We haven't done one of those in a little while, but we would love to hear from you. Tell us a movie we should watch that we're missing. Yeah.

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