¶ Podcast Intro & Winter Theme
What's up, y'all? Hey, guys. What's going on? Hi. Hello. Welcome. To Forever Midnight. To the frosty forever. Winter edition. Winter time. Winter fresh. Cold as balls. Put your balls on this here ski lift. See if they stick. They're damn. Don't put them all there. Welcome to Forever Midnight, a joyful discussion of horror in cinema with your hosts, Jeff Olvern, Josh Staples, and Brian Henderson. 11.55 almost midnight enough time for one more story one more story before
This wall. Yeah, it's cold. Our balls are stuck to everything. And here we are. I'm trying to get off the skillet, but my arms are tethered. Quick, put your lips on my balls. See if they stick. Yeah, I need you to... Breathe. Huff on them. Put your tongue on it. They're never going to come off this thing if you don't huff on them. I double dog dare you to put your tongue on my balls. If you get it hard, the hot blood will keep us both warm. Do you want your lips to fall off? Plug this into you.
¶ Sponsor Spotlight: Word Hoard
It acts as a heater. Well, on that note, should we thank our sponsor? God damn it. God damn it. Always on that note. Okay, let's take a fresh breath of air. Word Hoard Emporium for the weird and fantastic, everybody. It's an amazing place to shop for gifts, to get yourself a book, to get yourself a fresh pair of socks, to get some games. Treat yourself or treat someone else.
Amazing gifts. Yeah. Holiday season. This is the time to buy and buy local. Yes. And I believe that they're still collecting food for food drives. It's great. Definitely. Even great people. Yeah. Good, good folks. Yeah. Go support them. If you hit them up at the website too, if you don't live locally, you can go to weirdandfantastic.com. Yeah. And you can use the discount code midnight for 10% off. That's right. Of course, if you are in Sonoma County, you should go visit them.
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¶ Frozen Movie Introduction
It is cold. It's perfect for the movie. It's fucking cold out here, guys. It's perfect. We're living it. Yeah, we're living it. We're method podcasters. I was zipping up my sweatshirt going like, you think they hear this? You think that's sneaky enough? It's fucking cold. I'm freezing. It's not me pulling down a zipper. It's me pulling up a zipper. It's too long to be your bottom zipper. I have long pants.
Those zippers go all the way down. Those Jango crotches, it's like, you gotta reach so far. It's like... Yeah, we're here in the cold and... This is going to be appropriate because we're doing the movie Frozen, which is about people in the cold. Three people specifically in the cold. Sitting side by side, which is us. And our studio is frosty right now. You've got the blue light on. I know, right?
Turn the red light on. Warm it up. Would you please? I was watching a movie here the other night. It was so fucking cold. You know what I'm going to do? So cold. Crack one of them cold beers. What am I doing? I'm going to bring my espresso machine in here. Just pour fucking coffee on my nuts. That's how you get them unstuck from the ski lift. Exactly.
Are you guys sure about this? Yeah, yeah. It works all the time. All you have to do is go over there and you say, like... I said that I could pay for all three Lyft tickets and then I left my credit card at the gas station. Right. Totally on money. Just not enough for all three. Last run, gotta make it count. I'm so messed up.
¶ Fear of Ski Lifts Explained
This movie's a nightmare, guys. Well, real quick. It's my nightmare. We decided to do frosty cold movies for the beginning of December. Ice cold. Ice cold. And then as we progress into December, we'll do some more holiday flicks. We decided to do some stuff that, you know.
It's frosty. It's appropriate. So the last week we did the thing, very cold, very isolated. Very frosty. Very frosty. You got a mustache full of icicles. Like you see this in one of those in this movie too? You see a lot of, yeah, mouths and faces full of icicles. But yeah. we decided to do Jeff's favorite movie. Shut the fuck up with that. How do you keep saying that? Where did you get that information?
You have been talking about this movie for a long time. I wanted to do this. I think a premise of people stuck on a ski lift is... totally appropriate for our show and totally perfect choice. I think it is too. I love these kinds of movies. That's true. I do love these survival people stuck in a fucked up situation. I don't know why you like it. But I never said I loved this movie.
It's on my list of to-dos, but I'm not waving this flag high and proud. At some point you said you liked it, though. Yeah, I do. Because this premise, I'm scared of ski lifts. Yeah. I'm going to say it. I'm going to admit that. As somebody who grew up going to Tahoe.
I've been on ski lifts. They're terrifying to me. If anybody's been to the snow and has had to go either with skis or snowboards to hop on a fucking ski lift, it is the mangler. They're too fucking skinny for your ass. You're wearing heavy boots and a fucking...
snowboard or skis trying to pull you off dragging your your your fucking gravity ass down to the ground it wants you to come off they never stop them either they never they want they want to keep those things going the only time they'll stop it is if i eat shit and they have to stop it yeah when you're about to be brained by the one
behind you exactly yeah so like it is like especially your first times doing it or like at least the first time every season it is terrifying i there's not a single time that i've been on a ski lift where i'm not scared getting on the fucking thing sure as many times as i've done it i'm always like oh fuck here we go yeah yeah then it comes and scoots you up and then you're fucking half half on this thing half off it the whole ride it's like a two by four for your ass it's horse shit
I've never been on a ski lift. Really? No. You don't know the fear of a ski lift. I do know the fear of a ski lift. You've been to Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, right? Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. That's a ski lift. Has a ski lift. They call this a ride, by the way. By the way, it's a ride. By the way, it only goes over concrete and hot dog stands. So like, here's the corn dog cart. If you fall into here, your foot's going to get fried or your head.
That's the best case scenario. Delicious scenario. Yeah. Yum. At least if you fall off of a ski lift, and we'll get there in this movie, but at least if you do that, it's... The freshie, freshie pow pow. It's not hit of boiling grease on your way to the concrete. Yeah, yeah. You're not getting burned and scarred. And also, at least, it seems like it's made of wood and has a little tooth to it. So even though your big dumb shoes are pulling you off the thing...
At least your butt's on, like... It's kind of narrow, though. At least when you're at Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk fucking going on this thing, you don't have... weight anchoring you down to the ground trying to pull you off like you do skiing and snowboarding. It's a slippery one. The Beach Boardwalk ones are slippery. They do feel slippery. Like this movie, but unlike a lot of ski lifts I've been on, there is a safety bar. In Santa Cruz.
And in this movie, that didn't save my wife from wanting to murder me for convincing her to go on this thing. Oh yeah. My wife hates it too. She ski lift. I have not been forgiven for making her ride this fucking thing. That's Santa Cruz. Yeah.
Me either. I have not been forgiven. My fear of heights infected Sarah's. All of a sudden, she was scared of heights. She's like, I don't think I'm scared of heights, but you're making me scared of heights. Because I'm like, we're going to fall right here. What happens if we fell right here?
Like that piece of glass would go through us. Yeah. It's weird. I white knuckle that thing every time, but never, I mean, I don't want to do it again, but it's the really only the ride that scares me. Like roller coasters don't scare me. I feel like I could, they're more dangerous, but no, I don't know. I imagine.
that stuff has to happen there and we just don't know about it. Somebody's had to have fallen off that thing. Multiple people have to have fallen off that thing. A couple people see it. I looked it up after watching this movie. People falling on ski lifts and things like this on amusement parks. Oh, ski lifts happen.
For sure, but also amusement park situations like this. That's just a gondola ride. Totally happens. Really? Totally happens. Yeah. People fall out of weird shit because they slide out of them all. That's the thing. It's so... They're too small for me and my wife and our kid to ride on safely.
I would go first and then let Alyssa and Dil go in those. I'm talking Santa Cruz. We're not doing the snowboard ones, but like the whole time I'm just looking back, trying to keep them. You're just calm. Yeah. I'm like, like she's holding on to Dil.
Like, Dill's going to slip off at any moment. And this is, like, years ago now. You can lose your little baby into the fryer. Yeah. Last time, though, Dill's not old enough that he's into it. So Dill rode with me, and then we're looking back, and poor Alyssa is just, like, petrified. Yeah.
I'll just walk. And I'll buy a corn dog on the way. I'll stop eating a corn dog. Yeah, fall on all the corn dogs. I'll enjoy my snack. You guys get there fast. Go for it. I don't love a ride like that that's slow. I went on one that was... insane but it's like these things talking about the santa cruz beach boardwalk which is maybe 25 feet down yeah that's like that's not too big that's not too big you would not die if you fell no you'd have to like
You'd have to try to die. You'd get hurt real bad. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you'd have to, like, do a somersault and land on your neck to die. Yeah, yeah, you want to, like, point your head down first and then eat it. If you're trying to die. Yeah. But I'm not.
¶ Josh's Singapore Gondola Ordeal
But I feel like at least I can see the details. I could tell it's a corn dog stand. I went on one in 2006. I got stuck in Singapore for two weeks. It was, in retrospect... A great time. But at the time, when I was stranded in Singapore with no money and no prospect of getting home... Because you lost your license, right? I threw my passport. I don't know what happened to my passport. I drank a lot more than I do now. I used to black out a lot. I blacked out and I had a...
I think I had a great time. I have pictures of me having a great time. There's a couple fucking Singaporean people that said I had a really good time. Apparently I was screaming how much good time I was having. I never wanted to leave. So I threw my passport. I feel like maybe I...
I would love to say I dropped it, but I think I might have thrown it off a balcony of a hotel. You might have winged it because you're like, I love Singapore. I love this place so much. Fuck going home. Wing in a blacked out state. Because once I set my ID on fire because I thought it was funny. And then the next thing you know, I'm on tour. I don't have an ID. I can't get into the clubs I'm supposed to play. I can't buy a beer. It had expired. And it was funny to set it on fire.
But at the same time, I'm like, I'm not going to get a new idea this whole trip. Fuck! Damn. Anyway, I do stupid shit. So the next morning we're all going home to San Francisco and except me. Cause I'm like, I don't have a passport guys. We're at the airport. No, we're at the hotel. I'm turning everything upside down. I'm like, Oh no. Oh guys.
And we went to the airport and I said goodbye and they all went home and I stayed in Singapore. Now you're Singaporean. Now I am honorary Singapore guy. But I, anyway. In that two weeks, there is an island called Sentosa in Singapore that is beautiful. It's got an aquarium and it's an island in the middle of the ocean. And the only way to get there is take a boat, which I should have done, or there is a gondola.
that you take up 20 stories and it goes over the ocean so that when you're going over... And it's got a tower coming out of the middle on the way to the island. When you look down, cruise liners are like... Tiny little one inch fucking ships. But it's not the kind where your feet are dangling, right? No, it's an enclosed pod. It's one of those. It doesn't make it any less scary. It's a glass and steel thing hanging by one little hook on an arm. And I got on it with this.
A new friend I had made, a New Zealander named John, who was humongous and also a New Zealander, so insane. Yeah. An insane person who rocked that thing. Oh. He was trying to make that thing do a loop-de-loop. Jesus Christ. Heavens. The other people that were on there because he was trying to scare me were as terrorized, if not more so than me. Wow. I was ready to die.
¶ Intrusive Thoughts on High Rides
I thought I was like, I'm dead. I'm dead. I died here. Anything after this is the afterlife. Is my brain misfiring as I'm falling to the ocean. I can't believe I lived. What's weird about the dangler ones, though...
is they're kind of just like an intrusive thought machine where it's like you get on and all the whole time you're not like oh it's beautiful up here the whole time you're just like I could fucking I could just jump myself off of this thing you know what you think that Brian it's fucking true but you know what I also see because and the Santa Cruz
when you have people coming towards you, you see a nine-year-old girl eating lunch and kicking her legs like ain't no thing. I'm like, she's not worried about falling into the fryer. She's not old enough. No. She doesn't know that 17 other kids have fallen into the fire. Yeah, that's how they make the donut. That meat they're scraping off or five people saw me die and the other 20 people said, oh, don't let anybody else see him die. Put him on the fucking meat stick with the pineapple.
Over down the road, man, there's a thousand people who think they're immortal. And she's one of those. She's just weaving in and out of traffic. No big deal. I couldn't possibly die. You are a bag full of water with sticks in the middle. Stop. What you're doing. If any one of those sticks gets, those bags gets punctured, it's goodnight nurse. Yeah. We see this guy's bag gets punctured hard last movie. A couple of them. Yeah.
¶ Frozen Plot & Unlikeable Characters
But, I mean, all that has to say, this premise scares me. This is why it's on my list, because I like these kind of movies, and in particular... I have a fear of these goddamn fucking lifts. Sure. So, okay, real quick. The basic premise of this movie, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very simple. They all are simple like this. It's all the same shit. It's three people.
In the right circumstances, getting on a ski lift when they shouldn't and getting stuck on a ski lift like 100 feet up. Yeah, and no one's going to find them for a week. For a week. So there's your premise. That's your movie. That's your movie. And yes, of course, that's not a fun thought.
No, but I hate fucking survival horror. I realized that so much last night. I hate it. You like the ruins okay? I made you watch that too. Wasn't Sean the same guy in that movie? He's got a thing too. He has a thing. He also plays Iceman, so he has a real thing in this one. It's a double duty here. He's got two things. Ice and survival horror.
Yeah, I just don't, it's not, it doesn't appeal to me. You don't like the mind, the thoughts of like, in this circumstance, which I could possibly get into, what would I do here? Sure. You don't enjoy that? But I would, because it is a real life thing. That's right. You like fantasy. You don't want reality. I live here every day.
He points to his head, by the way, listeners. I'm stuck here. He lives in this room. He lives in the crawl space that is his mind. And I used to snowboard a lot. And I have... also gotten broken at the top of a hill and had to get down. from the top of the hill without riding my snowboard. So, like, I definitely, you know, with wolves nipping at my fucking ankles. What's worse than, like, what would I do in this scenario is actually having a solution mid-movie.
And not realizing these people are going to fucking die because they have no brains. Neither of them have a brain. I figured out a way to get down. What's your way? I'm curious. We all have a way to get down, right? Do we do this now? Already? Okay, sure. That's what I'm saying. I can save it. No, no, no. We're here. We're here. Very, very, very simple. So here's the deal. Like these fools, the dynamic I like.
You got the two best friends. One of the best friends has a new girlfriend. It's obviously she's a third wheel on this ski trip they do every year. She doesn't know how to ski. She stinks at it. These guys want to do the serious runs, but she's holding them back. And the resentment is building. The movie makes us want...
these people to die. It sets it up. We're on the side of the ski lift this whole fucking movie. I don't know why they wrote it that way. They're pieces of shit. They're trying to scam... Right. From the jump. These people suck.
They're trying to scam people. They're shitty about it. They're being mean to this girl. And they're pushy. Not only do they scam the poor guy. They're like, he could lose his job. She scams him. She's like, me and my girlfriend, we forgot the credit card. We only have cash, but not enough to ride the thing.
jackals put her up to this the scheme they were going to pull that they've been doing with a gal yeah and she wasn't there so they forced this poor girl who shouldn't even be there to do this to do this bullshit and please keep going And so, yeah, she talks this, like, grumpy guy into, like, letting him on without any Lyft tickets. Discount tickets or without tickets. Yeah, just cash money up front, no Lyft tickets. He could lose his job easy. That's some bootleg-ass business. So, like, that...
That happens at all. And then when she shows up, she says with her girlfriend, she goes up with these two fucking doishas instead. And he's like, girlfriend, son. She's like, sorry. And then not only that, they go skiing. They have a good time. Comes back. She pushes it again.
She's like, come on, one more. We're the last people in line. We didn't do any serious runs. This guy's trying to close up shop and go the fuck home. One more run, man. Come on, man. We had to be with your chick all day. We paid you a hundred bucks. Come on, dude. Fuck all three of you so hard. I want you all to die. And even that guy wasn't going to let him die. He said, there's like three more people after the last ones. Right, because he gets...
He has to go take a whazz or go yell at the guy because the schedule got fucked up. Yeah, schedule got fucked. He's got to be at his fucking brother's bachelor party. Like, you know more about the guy than you know about the characters at this point. You know more about this guy's life. Yeah. Yeah.
And it's because for him, not our three leads. What could all go wrong to get these guys stuck? You saw he stuck the final flag in. It's already too late. It's already too late, but he was going to wait there. And then he got pulled away. And then the other guy has to piss so bad. And he saw three people. There's my three. We're done. Close up shop. Everyone go home. That shit is a nightmare. And you're like, look at them. They're like, and they had got stuck up there early in the day.
Theirs. Right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Their fault. Definitely. Like they got stuck earlier in the day. So they expected it to just be like a quick little hang up. And then, of course, it's not. And so they're there forever. And ever. So it's. Yeah, it's a nightmare and you realize...
You realize that they're stuck before they do. Because they're like, we got stuck up here earlier in the middle of the day, and it was 15, 20 minutes, whatever. And they were assholes about it then, and they were assholes about it now. And even when the lights get shut off... They're like, oh, somebody's got to come up and do something. And then they do. Old Gator Legs is driving. Old Gator Legs is fucking driving the snow plow. Got his snow legs on.
¶ Adam Green's Filmmaking Style
I loved it. I saw him. I'm like, oh, my gator legs. So this movie is written and directed by Adam Green, who I love, actually. I do love Adam Green. Yeah, he had a podcast show I liked a lot for a long time. What's that? He had a podcast I liked a lot. He and Joe Lynch. Yeah, and that's also why this character.
The character's name is Joe Lynch. His name is Joe Lynch. The name of the mountain is Mount Holliston. Holliston is their sitcom show that they were doing. Right, right. They're good friends with Kane Hodder. So, of course, Kane's in this. I like it because it's like, of course, it's just...
Friends making movies, you know? And it's a good... I mean, you don't like it because it's maddening and scary and like a what would I do scenario. And it's like... And it's real life. Well, yeah, because those are... It's a good...
It's a fine movie. If you've ever been up to a fucking... Thank you, Josh. No, it is a good movie. Thank you, buddy. You're welcome. It delivers on everything... I'm not saying it up to you, Jeff. But thank you, though. You're all I'm saying. Despite you, it's a good movie. Oh, okay. I'm sorry.
I'm just kidding. I'm sorry. But on everything that you would want a survival horror movie to deliver, it delivers all those things. And again, like if you've ever been to the fucking ski slopes and have to deal with skiers and snowboarders, they're all as insufferable as these three. Yeah. Myself included. I was a fucking shithead up there.
And that's just how it is. Like, you know, it's a bro-y scenario. It's bro-y. It's also, you have means if you're up there. It's like privileged bro-y. Also, Brett, I would be the skier in the situation. I know that. Right. We know this. But like, so, you know.
And I have friends at ski. I'd be hot-dogging. Red boys? Red boys? You know what I'm talking about? You got to have those poles. Shout out. But it doesn't, you know, it's like not everybody is up on the slopes. But the people that are all up on the slopes are kind of shitty. Yeah.
¶ Snowboarding Injuries & Ski Patrol
I'm not throwing so much shade at snowing and skiing and snowboarding. I've only been skiing once in my life, and it was not too long ago. it was post COVID and I went cross country skiing. So no ski lift. Right. And it was just like, I fell on my ass so many times and I got hurt so many times, just like falling from the distance that is my legs to my butt. Yeah. I was like,
I might never do it again, but I had, I mean, maybe I will. I had, there were a couple of times I was coasting. I was like, I see it. I get it. I understand. And I see people going downhill, like downhill. I can't even do not hill. Like cross country. skiing there's no hills it's like zing bip ow yeah it's rough like i've snowboarded tons of times and i've had the most fun and it's been
The most beautiful, soft, fluffy, amazing snow. How do you feel about being locked into your board, though? That always, like, fucked me up about snowboarding. I liked it. I like the freedom to move my legs around. And be facing forward. Broken legs happen way more on skis than it happens on snowboards. Because they're going every which way.
Yeah. If you're trying to fall and try to get up and get these things all everywhere. But if you launch and you're fucking tossed, dude, legs are fucking here, there. I'll tell you what. I tried snowboarding. I've never fallen more in my life. Skiing? Boom. Easy peasy. Up and down these slopes, no big deal. Yeah, just some people it's... But something about snowboards, fuck me up. But it's also why you're rollerblade over skateboarding.
Yeah. I don't know. If the skateboarding scenario is snowboard and the rollerblading is skiing, what do I got as a quad guy? They have little ski. They do. They do. They have these little skis. That's what I want. It looks like a snowshoe that you slide on. I'll just do a snowshoe. I just want to walk in a snowshoe. Nowadays, that's all I want. I want a snowshoe. Do they have a husky ride? Can I go to the X Games doing snowshoes? Is there one I can just sit? Oh, it's called sledding. That's me.
After I broke myself, I've only ever slidded or tubed and done that shit. Because fuck that. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to get hurt. I broke my fucking rib. Or not my rib. Sorry, my collarbone. Oh, no. And I did it right off the lift. Hot dogging.
Yeah. Went off the lift? Yeah. Literally got off the lift. I was with a bunch of people from work. It was a work trip. Fucking started hot dogging because I'm like, all these guys are hot dogging. I'm going to hot dog and I haven't ridden in like a minute. And there was a little jump and I was like, pfft. Got this. And just fucking caught my edge right as I hit it. Fucking whapped myself. And then, yeah, fucking broke my collarbone. Oh, my God. So I'm laying there and then.
one of my buddy, my closer work friends, scoots up next to me, who's very competent, what he's doing on the snowboard, slides up next to me, scooches a little ice on me, like full Better Off Dead style. And he's just like, having fun.
I was like, you motherfucker. And I'm just broken. And he was like, what do you want me to do? Is call ski patrol or something? And I'm like, dude, I can't be dragged down by ski patrol. You've seen it. They put you in a fucking coffin and they fucking drag your ass down the hill.
Yeah, you get strapped in. The whole works, man. They drag you. They do it regardless if you fucking broke your nose or if you fucking broke your shit. Like they are taking you in a coffin down the hill. It's got a lid on it. But your face can see. Everyone ever can see you. Yeah, yeah.
¶ Collarbone Recovery Ordeal
They don't throw your face up. Give me a lid if you're going to have a coffin. There's a neon sign with your name on it. Don't embarrass me. Ultimate biff. But I was like at the top. At the fucking top, dude. So, like, I'm broken. And I was like, oh, I can't ride down like this. Did you sit your ass down on it and scoot down? So, for the first half, well, first of all, most of the people are already gone.
And then a couple of close people that were... Well, thank God for that. Some more miracles later. Oh, they all saw it. But then they fucking hit it. They just kept going. Yeah, they just kept going. They were like, fuck you. Like, they all saw me fucking eat the most shit. Like, they saw that. And then they fucking bounced. Yeah. And then a couple stayed. One of my main, like, closer friends stayed for a second. And he was like...
are you okay? And I was like, oh, oh, no. This is, ow, ow. And he was like, do you want me to get ski patrol? And I was like, I can't. Like, I was new to the company already, so I was already with people I barely knew. I was like, I can't withstand the humility of being dragged down by the ski patrol. So I was like, no, I'm going to walk down. Oh, no.
I'm going to walk down the mountain. That's not a good feeling. Put your hand in your pocket. What would you do? Well, I have a snowboard to carry. Right. And also you're in fucking snowboard boots, which are not hiking boots. Yeah, those are great to walk around in. They're not made for that. Those are just like bad ice skates on their own. Dude. So like...
And the snow down south as opposed to like up in Washington or Oregon or even like northern California is fucking ice. It is icy. And that's why I caught my – like I wasn't used to snowboarding on like ice. Caught my shit, broke my shit, walked down part of the hill, and I tried to sit on my ass and scoot down like this fool did in the fucking thing. And it worked for a little bit, but it was hurting. It hurt like a fucking son of a bitch. So I had to stop that.
And then I just walked the rest of the way down. And it took forever. And it was a huge fucking mountain. And I was like, got down to the hill. No one's around. And then I saw somebody that was still down there getting food or something. And I was just like.
I'm going to, I don't want everyone to have to leave because of me, because we all came together in a fucking bus. I was like, I'm going to just sit in the lodge until everyone's done it. Oh, you're going to five o'clock. Oh my God. This is like eight hours.
So yeah, I just went to the lodge. I went to go see if I could get some water and the lady could just visibly tell I was fucking broke off. And she's like, are you okay? And I was like, Oh no, I fucking, I think I broke something. And she's like, She got me some ibuprofen and...
I got some water and I sat in a pile in the lodge until hours later. And I was like, it was in shock. I was in shock. Like I was in shock, past the point of shock. Like I was just fucked up. When did you get to the hospital to get that checked out? Then we had to drive all the way back down into Orange County. Oh, my God. And then I got dropped off at home, and then I had Alyssa take me to the hospital. Oh, my God, buddy.
¶ Critiquing Frozen Survival Choices
And they can't do anything for a collarbone. It's fucking like, you know, they set it and then they're just like, that's it. They have a chip clip.
It wasn't broken so badly they had to like screw it together or anything, but it was broke enough that it fucking was broke and it hurt like so much. A sling for that or something? I had a sling, yeah. And my job was typing at a fucking... desk not for a while it's not like no it was i was just like fucking chicken it was but dude that it sucked so like
Like, parts of this movie were way too real for me. Way too, like, I was like, oh. When he decided to scoot down after his friend was already eaten by a wolf, and he's like... I'm going to scoot down on this. They're doing this way as other wolves are chasing him. Sorry to like fast forward, but like, I was like, there's not much to this movie. I'm like, dude, that that's one of three things. Feel you dude. Yeah. You know, but.
Yeah, I mean, so yeah, the thing that, I mean, I think everybody would think, I gotta jump off here. One of us has to jump off here. And the thing is, I know people that would do it for funsies. I've seen friends jump off for funsies. But the snow was fucking deep-ass powder. And if anything, you just got lost. It was crazy.
This was not that case. It was very fucking hard packed ice, you know, and yeah. Homeboy's bag got fucking ruptured. It was so bad. He's like, I think I can do it. I can make it. I've done this before. I can make it. Remember when I said that I did this before? I'm full of shit. But watch me, though. See you in a minute. Bone shoot out of his knees, dude. I did cringe at that and had to kind of like...
cringe my eyes. Yeah, I was like, I can't watch this dude with his clacky ass damn bones clacking them together. I feel like not only did his bones shoot out of his legs, I feel like his spine should have shot out into space. On the top of his dome. He landed like all legs and then right to his ass and then spine just... How do you... You should have landed on his ass. You should not have landed on his feet first. I don't know why you wouldn't dangle as far as you could. First off...
That. Okay. Lesson the fall as much as possible. Yeah. Lesson the... Yeah. Dangle. And even then... Have someone else lower you a bit down, too. You hold on. Lower him down as much as you can. Yeah, you got those ski sticks. Lower her down. She is 90 pounds. Right. Yeah, she'd be the lightest. Homie.
One of your homies hang on to the other homie. That homie dangles and lowers her down. She drops four feet and she lives. Right. At night, the first night you're there, the end. Tell you what, movie's done. Movie's done. I mean, even a 10 or a 15-foot drop, you probably wouldn't have broke your legs. You probably would maybe hurt your legs or sprained an ankle. 25 feet, something like that. It didn't look too far. I think they say something like it's like 50 or something, but I don't know.
they said that they were filming these people for real on the lift and it was like 50 feet in the air when they were filming them. Okay. That's pretty high. Because, you know, it...
In the progression of a lift, it goes over really high areas and really low areas. There's places you can jump off. It's 10 feet. There's places that are places you would not want to jump off to. There's also places where there's trees under you and shit. I was like, somebody could do like I did and fall off right before the part you get.
off on and just fall right off there yeah just whoops you did that yeah there's something like you know nine nine feet but it's like yeah but it's like down a little bit right there how did i fall off here i jumped too soon to get off so when the boyfriend falls and legs shoot every which way and all of a sudden like i'm useless i can't do a thing like dude your legs are fucked yes drag yourself go down get on your snowboard and just yeah because
We got 15 minutes before wolves show up. There were no wolves at that point. No, they smelled the blood of the bone. What else would he do? No, I'm just going to sit here now. I'm just going to sit here. Now what? I'm just going to freeze to death here. He literally was like... I'm dead. Yeah. Go on without me. Like, go where without me?
I'm dead. I'm dead. I can't do anything. I can't do anything. I thought you knew this was part of the deal of jumping off this thing that you were going to get broken. You're here to save us. And get down the hill. Yeah. Well, especially when he's trying to reach for the tourniquet, like, you know, pieces of fabric that he's going to tie his, like. I thought he was.
I was waiting for him to come apart in two pieces. Like, okay, now my legs are behind me. Now I can much longer. I'll use them as poles to fucking get down the hill. Ski style. But like, he's not... He can barely reach it. And I'm like, granted, I can't even imagine the excruciating pain of a compound fracture. I can't reach that like that with normal legs. No, yeah. Turn on your side, dude. Seriously. When I went up to go answer, to go let the dog back in my house and my back spazzed out.
I was ready to get I should have there was a coffin nearby I'm like that's gonna go underground in five minutes would you like to get in there or suffer the pain I'd be like put me in the coffin put me in there I'm dying yeah
But like, yeah, I'm like, just roll over a little bit or whatever. I know your legs. I mean, again, I can't. One of my biggest fears is a compound fracture. Oh, it's terrifying. It is one of the, and like, I've seen friends get those during skateboarding. It's fucking horrific. And there's literally like, like just through skateboarding or, and now when I see in anything, fake or real is the most horrifying shit. You know what? You know, who knows that?
Everyone. Everyone, especially Adam Green. Every person with the toes. He did a good job. He gave you two, not just one, but both legs are fucking now hilarious looking. Because those guys got a good sense of humor, too. Yeah. You know, I think it's funny that Adam Green never set foot on a fucking ski slope before they made this movie. Really? He just knew they were horrifying. Yeah.
Yeah, they are. He went to Santa Cruz, that's why. There's a movie where three people get stuck in a ski lift and I heard the movie when it came out and I was like, that sounds... Like hell. I said, that sounds like an extreme horror film. That seems like hostile vibes. And it could have gone worse. I feel like they could have. Like, there's a scene where they never, by the way, a whole night goes by. That a whole night went by. Yeah.
Was awful. Because they're going to freeze to death up there. There's no two ways about it. They're going to get frostbite and die. They should have been more frostbitten. They should have been more frostbitten. But when she wakes up and her hand is wrapped around the pole, I'm like, oh no. It's just hand meat stuck to it.
And I was like, it could have been her face. Yeah, I thought he was going to have a face. I thought it was going to be one of her faces. Or when she finally does piss herself. I thought her piss was going to freeze her fucking church to the thing. I would be like, wake up Lynch and be like, piss on my fucking hand. That's what I was about to say.
Why would you not try anything other than pulling your own skin off? And then not tell them about it? Like, whip your dick out and piss on my hand to warm it up to get it off. I don't give a fuck at this point. I'd rather keep my hand meat. Yeah, give me my hand meat. You need hand meat. You need that handle. No, it's the first thing she does is just rip it off. Never. Girl, what are you crazy? What are you thinking?
Why don't you use your other hand to try to pry those fingers off a little bit more gingerly? Also, why don't you use the other hand to warm up your hand so that you don't rip meat off? You dip fuck! Why did you fall asleep with that hand holding on to the... You have a gloved hand right there. The other hand goes in your...
Jackie, you dumb fuck. Yeah. Yeah. What is your goddamn problem? Also, my problem with that was that both of them split apart during the night to sleep. Smooch. You were fucking both in the same pants. No, you're inside her the whole night to keep warm. For real.
¶ Illogical Survival & Wolf Attacks
Yeah. We're 69ing all night long to keep warm. We know how that works. I'm huffing butt sweat all night long to keep warm. It's the only way to keep my eyes from getting frosted. If you want to survive, you're doing that. They started out that way. They started out like... You're doing that. It was interesting because like, okay... Her boyfriend jumps off. His legs turn into noodles. The fucking wolves show up for Chinese food. They fucking have a blast. They leave.
My noodles are on the outside. But then, so then it's like, she's up there. Her boyfriend's dead. They can just see him being eaten. See his sloppy body left over. And then come get it. Dicks of some young guy. Seriously. But then she's with her boyfriend's best friend. And then now they're in a survival situation. Hug up.
Ons. Hug upon. Keep warm. Yeah. Skin and skin contact is how you stay warm. You have to pop the top a little bit and fucking get in there. You're going to need to breathe into each other's fucking... Like hoods. Yeah. You know that beanie? You pull that all the way down. She wasn't even zipped all the way up. I'm like, you would cover everything. That jacket's over your face. There's a reason why they make those.
Like that? Yeah. You zip them up, fool? They go to your nose, you dumb fat. What, you don't like a nose? What, are you trying to get rid of your nose? Seriously. She didn't want to have her cheek. Oh, your cheek meat was... for first to go. And I was like, I think it could have gotten worse. They should have been more frostbitten. It would have been more ghastly. Yeah, yeah.
At the very least, even if she survived, her nose would have been all black. Her fucking cheeks would have been black. Yeah, for sure. She would look like Skeletor. That hand should have been gone. Yeah, she's going to be Skeletor. Best case scenario, she becomes, this is the origin story of Skeletor. Right. She has to go to another planet because she's so ugly. My other fucking gripe about their solution is the dude's going to crawl on the wires. Sure. To get to...
To get to the pole where there's a ladder down. Fine. Take off them boots. Swing your legs up over that goddamn fucking wire to hold yourself up. You said you have weak little arms. You can't do pull-ups.
That's how you do it. You swing your fucking legs over that, and now you've got two things holding on, and the pressure's off your arms, and you just scoot your way down there. I don't care if it tears up your legs and your hands. Who gives a fuck at this point? I don't believe that shit's sharp.
Why would you do that? I don't think it's that sharp. I don't think so. Why would you do the boots on? Pull them down. Or what I would think about, you tie both your boots together, flop it over that thing, you're in a fucking... Zipline. I think if it's that sharp, you got sticks too. But I don't believe it's that sharp. He had gloves on and I was like, there's no way that that's beating through your gloves. I don't believe that that is a thing. I feel like you could.
And you're doing it the hardest way. Like, have you guys ever been, like, rock climbing or anything? Like... No. Very low levels. You're not supposed to pull up with your arms. It's legs that push you up. I've been on a jungle gym, but I haven't been on a jungle gym really since I was 75 pounds. Well, let me tell you. Legs. It's all in the legs, guys. Get those boots off. Swing your legs up there, bro. What the fuck do you think you're doing? Also, why would the thing of like...
The bolt came undone. Why did that happen? That was extra. This place is already rickety then? Like what? Yeah. You know? Now God just hates you. Yeah. Come on. Now you're trying to finalist nation your way out of getting dead. You need to die. Yeah. This movie does feel very much like final destination where I thought that as she's crawling under the road at the end, I thought we were going to get one of those.
A gunk. Well, no, either a gunk or one of the big old things that like moves the snow out of the way of the road. The big old Zamboni. My buddy drives one. What the fuck are those things called? A snow plow. A snow plow. I thought she was going to get fucking plowed. I thought it was seriously like going to be.
And then she was going to look like ice cream when you fucking scoop it out. She's like rolled up. It's like the fucking Roger Rabbit thing. It's like a slice. It's like a little flap. What were they called? Those little fish. Take the temperature. Yeah, she's going to look like a Pringle chip. Yeah, seriously. I thought that she was going to be basically like, okay, I'm almost... Because I was like, oh, Adam Green, he makes some cool shit. I do like a lot of his movies. I'm like...
Maybe he's going to make this so that nobody lives. I was waiting. I'm like, this movie can't be this bleak and not wrap up in a way that you're like, I can't believe the ending was so bleak. Yeah. And again... She's like, oh, I made it. I'm here flagging down somebody. And then there's a snow plow. Grind, grind. You're Kane Hodder just chilling. Just blood all over the snow. We want that. Yeah, you want to see blood in the snow. We saw some blood in the snow.
This is cool. So my theory is like, okay, now dude's dead. He got ate by wolves, which was a terrifying sequence. Don't let her look. Yeah, that was rough. That was so rough. That's extreme. He's killing. I love that too. I love it. Don't let her look. I won't, bro. Don't let her look.
And she looked. And all she wants to do is look. I just want to look. Like, what do you want to look at? That's the most worst thing you could ever imagine. It was terrible to listen to the guy get at by wolves for like a good long time. Yeah. When wolves, I guess because the blood is what really, they smell the blood. They smell.
I feel like they wouldn't be in that area at all because there's people skiing all day long. There's too many people here. They wouldn't be fucking around in that area. I feel like that too. They immediately came once...
¶ Creative Escape Strategies
Blood? It hadn't even been an hour, right? We haven't been up there very long at all. I smell leftover skiers. We gotta go up here. I don't think so. But okay. I mean, gotta have something. I get it. My theory. So he's already fucking cream cheese down there. I'll tell you what, they could do another version of this where it's like in the Bahamas and they're going over...
water and sharks sharks or just also a million foot drop which I think I was maybe in outer space when I was at the top it was so high I couldn't even believe it I've never been so high in the air before. I want Josh's story below you. The movie is called Sentosa. You see like a space shuttle go right beneath you.
How do those things go back up? Do they have to just go back up again on the same thing? It's like a motorized... I'm not sure how it gets... I don't know what part of it's motorized. The cable's moving. Something's moving. Because when he got over... The tower, it was like a... Oh, my God. And you're like, oh, God. This is where it snaps. Yeah. Oh, my God. That sounds terrifying. It was insane. I was like, there's no way this is legal.
This is some island in the middle of the South Pacific style shit. You fall in the water and no one ever sees you again. This is the country where they'll split your ass into hot cross buns if you chew gum. Whoa, really? There's still cane you for vandalism or chewing gum. Whoa. No gum in Singapore. If you traffic drugs, dead. Traffic gum? Dead. No, just get your butt split horizontally with a cane. Some people like that.
I'm bringing all the big lead shoe to Singapore. Yeah. Ooh, I can't wait. Make it, make it a fucking, yeah, give me a six pack on my bottom. On the gun. Whip me and then throw me in the ocean. And that's the thing, too. I had bandmates that were smoking weed there. If you smoke weed there, you get caned. That's number one. Then your mandatory year of rehab.
Whether you're a citizen or not, you're in Singapore for a year. You live here now. Countries like that where they're like, they don't give a fuck and they're going to put you in some fucking prison for a while. Yeah. So there's a country where like, sure, there's no gum.
But no one's looking around going, God, there's no gum. People do that. People go there and like, that's really a clean city. I'm like, that's because you'll fucking get your ass literally beat by a fucking dude in a mask if you vandalize. Some people pay for that, right? It's true. There you go. Get your nuts split down the middle. Cane me on the front next. Cane my fucking dick off one time. I'll pay you to eat it in front of me.
Chew it like bubble gum. And then let me hit you next. I got some gum. It's the ultimate. I sat in some gum. I sat in some gum. So anyway. So dudes down there, like, here's my thought. It's the sun's out. Finally, it's the next day. The sun's out. Yeah. There's a pile of dude soup. Sun's out. Sometimes his buns are way out. Sun's out. Thumbs out. The only thing's sticking out of the snow is his fingers. So you're like, okay, well, there's at least four or five feet of freshie pow.
So now it's a little bit higher. Secondly... The sun's out. You said the sun feels good. Now's the time to take your fucking clothes off and lower somebody down. You can make a rope out of your clothes. Pants, jackets, you can settle on the ground. Yes, it's cold.
Fuck it's cold, but you can put your shit back on when you get down. You're going to freeze to death again if you don't do it. Then someone is literally on the ground with no problem. You have the ski poles. You can ward off the wolves the best you can. You're not injured. You don't have sliced hands. You don't have stick legs. Get on your snowboard. You're a snowboarder. Get on your snowboard and get the fuck out there. Yeah, well, the snowboarder died first.
Well, the ski boy. Oh, ski boy. But his skis are thrown all over the guy. Ski boy can do it, yeah. That's why he had a butt board down on the fucking set board. Take her fucking board. That was my solution. I'm like, on the morning two, I was like...
This is how you get down, dummies. You're not thinking about this? Like, think about it. You didn't think about it all night long? What were you thinking about all night long? No, then I only have my sweater and then my shirt and then the t-shirt on. Like, you fucking...
I'm sure just both their jackets could create enough of a rope that would hold them. Arm to arm, that's four feet. Tie them together in a super tight knot. One of you guys lowers the other one down. They would last long enough that you maybe don't have to drop about 10 feet. And then drop the jackets and then throw my jacket back.
you know fuck it figure it out it doesn't matter get down the hill or just get one person down yeah all you gotta do is get one person down to safety and the other one will survive for fucking 20 minutes yeah but it said homeboy climbs on top onto the wire Shreds his hands up. Comes back. Hey, that hurt. Ouch. My hands are shredded. My heads are now fucking roast beef. Now I'm going to do it again. But that's the next day.
No, it's the same day, right? No, he did it at night. Then it was the next day he decided to do what he can. Yeah, he did almost immediately the first night. Right. He's like, can't do it. Also maddening because he could do it. Right. I'm sure if you were in that heightened state, you've got to do it. You've got to keep going. It's a good thing he had those weights on his legs. I'm sure that helped a lot. That he could do it, weights on his legs.
After, like, the first time? You could have done it. You're cold. You haven't eaten. You barely have slept. Now you're strong enough? Yeah, now you can get to the end and climb down? No. Sorry. So, but that was maddening too, that he could have done it 12 hours ago. Right. Before anybody dove off the thing. Fucking hell. So that was, that was your way out and he blew it. Yeah. And then there was so many ways out and they blew it.
¶ Movie's Bleakness & Character Stupidity
And then, so homie, he's like, I'll be back. I'll be back to save you. I'll get you as soon as I get down there. But wolves are chasing him. Wolves are chasing him into the clearing. And you're kind of like, well, maybe he made it. But then, of course, she's been asleep again for a couple days. Yeah, then it's like, what, the next night? And then the next day, she's like, uh-oh. He's not coming back. He didn't make it.
And he did not make it. Holy shit. Talk about sticks. Talk about bag ruptures. They showed like a knee that was like buckled out. Like there was skin all piled up on a knee bone. It was rough. show like that much of it it was you know what gnarly the only reason that she survived that is because the wolves were fucking logie they were stuffed they were it was like thanksgiving fucking it was like i couldn't i can't even stand up yeah yeah
Yeah, they're ready for a nap. That was pretty funny to me, where she did finally get down there. She doesn't get broken off, but she's hurt. The thing falls on her, which I'm like, this is Final Destination we're watching. Yeah. It just bounces off her leg. She's trying to get down. The thing's barely hanging on by a bolt. You should have done a little scrambling as soon as you hit the ground. Or kind of hook yourself out of ways, right?
Get away from that thing. Hold yourself swinging a little bit so you're not straight down. Or I was like, I think it's going to fall off. Just hold on to that metal. Hold on to that thing. That'll brace some of the crash that would break your legs off.
Just like tuck onto the, like put your legs onto the bench, hold onto the top bar, wiggle that thing off. It's going to hurt, but you're not going to be fucking ruined. That it fell and was hanging on by a cable was a blessing because she was like, I could just jump fucking six feet. Right. Yeah. And then let this huge thing fall on my leg. Right. Like a dummy. Likely she was still able to kind of hobble off. I was like, oh, well, okay. There she's wolf food too. The end.
She ends up face to face with the wolf when she's in the fucking pile of knees. Sounds like I got so many knees. I'm all knees. They should have called me Frozen Wolf Food. No one froze it. I was thinking of The Grey when we were watching it. It was so much that. And it was funny because I didn't know that that was the thing for this movie. I thought it all had to do with just...
It should have been way more frostbite on his face. Frostbite, dealing with... More pulling the meat off, all that shit. Having stuff with them, just whatever. But it did turn into the grave.
is really what the whole movie was. Wolves were the ultimate killer. Yeah. Unfortunately, yeah. If there was no wolves, then they would have been able to crawl down. Yeah. But I do think it's funny when she's like broke off and she's like... commando sliding down the whole mountain you know face first that's so funny didn't even get on your butt
I know, right? You should just grab a snowboard. You saw a couple. Grab a couple bones. Right by the fucking Dude Soup 2, Electric Boogaloo, is a fucking snowboard. That dude was making a tent. with his knees. He was. Just go under his knees and pull your jacket over and take a sweet little nap. We know they'd...
can't make any good decisions for themselves at all. We know that from the jump. Very horrible. You know what? Maybe that's young people. I don't know. That's 2013. You know, I'm not saying all young people are dummies, but there's a lot of dummy young people and a lot of dummy old people. So, yeah.
¶ Realism of Wildlife & Skiing Costs
A lot of people are dummies, you know? I mean, also, I wasn't freezing to death on a ski lift terrified and having just watched my dude get et by wolves. So, who am I to judge? Well, you wouldn't be in that circumstance in the first place because you ain't a dummy. I'm not trying to go up there. We used to go to this spot in Washington that we would snowboard at night, and it was fucking so sick. The snow was always nice and powdery, but there was lights.
all over this mountain. And that's the funnest is being around at night. And I think about watching this, I'm like, same thing. I didn't see a deer, a bear, a wolf, nothing. Because there's a million people and lights and all this shit. They know to not really come around there. you know like even with the lights off I assume I mean sure there's probably deer that walk through there maybe coyotes or wolves maybe occasionally but like I doubt it when there's a fucking nut and gut buffet
Yeah, I mean, maybe they smelled the blood. I mean, I guess, I don't know how that works. I think we've probably heard it on The Grey and other movies, but like, are they like sharks? Can they smell that shit from a fucking mile away? They're the sharks of the forest. That should have been the cult of the movie.
¶ Comparing Frozen to Other Horror
Forest sharks. But I mean, it is, it is, it delivers everything it promises. Yeah. And you know what happens after I saw a movie? I was like, What's that movie where the girls are on the tower? What's that? It's on my list. I want to see that movie. Dude, I'm so bummed I didn't get to see that in 3D in the theaters because it would have...
fucked me up. That seems like the most boring movie I've ever seen in my life. It's actually one of the better of these kind of movies. If you're scared of heights, you're going to lose your mind. Okay, even if I am or I'm not, what is this movie? It's this movie and Ruin. It's everything.
all these movies it's all that ruins had some weird monster yeah there was vines that were alive like that's i think what saved it somewhat for me yeah there was some kind of other thing happening dude those movies where you're like i'm what if I'm off high and I can't get down I love that shit I do too I'm scared of heights I fell up and I can't I do want to see that movie fall I look at the poster and I nearly faint
It looks so scary. Isn't there other movies like that, though? There's a ton of them. There's a version of people in water. And there's like... cube in those movies i like those too well there's that those ones like what is it the shallows right there that's the one like where they're they're being kind of in the ocean yeah many times there's a million shark ones that's like there's a lot of those where they yeah
takes off without him and they're scuba diving or something. The episode of Magnum P.I. where he gets left out in the ocean and has to tread water for 12 hours. He's just getting circled by sharks and shit. Yeah, there's that. But this is, yeah, the one on this high tower fault, like, God, I'm so scared of heights. It fucking wrecks me. Me too. See, I'm not...
really scared of heights particularly but like i feel like there's a point where everyone is scared yeah it's that's that's fall yeah it's just like so insanely high see the ground any longer yeah
¶ Action Movie Heights & Peril
And I see the curvature of the Earth, and it looks extreme. Right. Oh, yeah, the Earth is round. Oh, yeah, that's right. Good. I'm in space. I had that experience, actually. She's in Singapore. Yeah. So there's a... When I was a kid in the theater, I saw Remo Williams, The Adventure Begins. You ever see this movie? No. It stars Fred Ward. I do love it. It's good. I don't quite understand it, but it's like, because there's a scene where he's like...
another guy and then he has to get a facelift to be Remo Williams, but I don't see the difference. I said I love it, but that's 10 year old me saying, I love Remo Williams. Remo Williams. And I love just like a movie and I always have. That's like, A guy's name, The Adventure Begins. You sold me.
It's called The Adventure Begins. Where did The Adventure go after that? Because there was no more Remo Williams 2. Where's the sequel about The Adventure? It's once to be Indiana Jones. Oh, so bad. But it's like modern times. And 007. Yeah. Right? But it's...
So wrong-minded, Remo Williams. I do love it. But Fred Ward is such a great guy. He's Remo Williams. And there's a scene where when the Statue of Liberty was under construction, they were refacing it and doing it, painting it and all that stuff. It was under scaffolding. And there's a scene where they're on the scaffolding. And he's hanging by one hand, leaning out into the sea from the top.
of the Statue of Liberty. There's a whole action scene where they're fighting on the Statue of Liberty and it's so sick and it's so scary. I think it's on the cover of the fucking... It's him hanging by one hand. Yeah. It's so sick. It's super sick. Yeah.
As a kid who loved, like, action-y shit, like, that was like, oh, I am scared of heights. You make me think of Cliffhanger. You've seen that shit? I've never seen that. I never saw Cliffhanger. I saw it. Action-packed on a fucking cliff. When nature calls. Yeah. Which is, yeah, totally.
I kind of saw Cliffhanger. No, I don't know if I could do it. I want to see that. I like those movies, but put myself through it. But I also like the idea of going on the gondola at the fucking, and then I do it and I'm like, I hate this. Yeah. Like it's, it's definitely like you can't think about it.
Like you have to kind of like, again, cause the intrusive thoughts thing or, or you're just thinking about like, I'm going to plummet to my death in this fucking death pod. Right. Right. What's the other one that I really like is that rollercoaster death scene and not death scene, but peril scene.
The third Beverly Hills Cop movie. Oh, yeah. It's great. You're scared of heights? That's great. Terrible movie. Great scene in a terrible movie. Fantastic scene, yeah. Axel Foley jumping from thing to thing to try to save these kids from falling. Fucking hell. Oh, my God.
¶ Adam Green's Approach to Filmmaking
I don't know why I don't like this genre of movies. I do know, but I don't know why it doesn't work for me. I understand why. I like Adam Green. All of his other shit. He did a hatchet? He avoided all the hatchets. He did digging up the marrow. He's done some other stuff. But I wrote this one off from the fucking jump. I'm like, I don't care. I've lived it.
I like that. I mean, I like the idea of it. It's so simple that it's almost painfully simple. Painfully simple. Yeah, there's not a whole lot. going on. There's no meat on those bones. Just like that guy's knee down there. It's like a puzzle. I'm like, yeah, but I solved the puzzle before everyone died. Before Kane Hodder left, I solved the puzzle. True, that's true. Out of all these kind of movies, this is one of the weaker ones, I think. Yeah.
Like there is a way out. Ruins is way better. Fall is way better. I still think this is like effective for what it is. But I'm still scared of ski lifts. So I'm like, yeah, I'll watch this. Certain people like, I mean, I know people that have gone up and I'm just like, no, I'm good. I'm just not going to ride.
I'm not going to do it. I'm going to fuck around on this little bunny slope that I can just walk up and go down. Right. Yeah. Because, like, I mean, I've eaten shit coming just off of the lift. Definitely. I think everyone has. I'm knocking strangers over that I don't know because I got sent up by myself.
totally knocking some lady over sorry fucking mom like jesus christ like and that sucks and then they gotta fucking stop the thing because there's a pile up and there's like you know what the best thing about all that is you're all that's happening while you're freezing to death yeah and there's a
Bunch of other people looking at you. Yep. That's the worst part is being watched and fucking up on that. When you're writing down and eat shit, there's a bunch of people above you looking down at you, laughing at you, eating shit. Totally. That sucks. It's a nightmare. Dude, that shit sucks. For somebody who doesn't want any attention drawn on them. It's a good thing that shit costs...
350 bucks I know man it is so fucking expensive that's again that's like not everybody has the opportunity to even do that I only I definitely never had that money but like I was able to because I work for skate shops and snowboard shops So we were able to get discount lift tickets and things like that. And, you know, but like, and I, my board, I could have never bought a board, but I worked for a place. I got like almost a free board, you know, like, so like,
¶ First Skiing Trip Nightmare
Yeah, that was the only way ever. And it was fun. Don't get me wrong. When it was good, it was good. And I had some fond memories, but I'll never ride again. Do you have this memory of my first time learning how to ski? it's going really well. I took to it really fast. And so my dad wants to go screening. We'll go past the bunny slope, do something a little higher, you know, and like, okay, let's go to this one together. We get on the wrong one. We,
we take a fucking ski lift that takes us to the top of the goddamn mountain. Dude, it was fucked. We were like, oh my, I swear the ride was like half an hour long to get to the top. Oh my. The whole time I'm like, we're fucked. fucked. How are we going to do this? He's not experienced enough to do this. I just learned and he started off somehow upside down. French fried pizza? French fried pizza? Yeah, I did that.
If you eat too many French fries and pizzas, you have a heart attack. My dad walked his skis down. I actually managed to ski my way down, but I, slow as fuck, but I still stayed on the skis and did it, but it was horrifying. Horrifying. That's crazy. But like the longest ride of what are we going to fucking do? How are we going to get out of this situation? Right. I'll be like, $2. So I think that's like, that's probably where it started. The fear. Sure.
That situation as a kid, I'm fucked. I'm on this lift. I'm fucked. That's all I can think about for the next 10 minutes. Because we were doing those snowboarding times, I've definitely been on one of the last runs. Of the whole night. And it's nighttime up on there. There's no one behind us. There's no one in front of us on the fucking lift. Wow. There's no one around because we're past.
all that shit, that definitely resonated because I'm like, oh yeah, that thing just shut off and you're just there. That'd be you, yeah. At least you have a brain and you'll figure out a better way of getting hurt. Again, if your boyfriend jumps off and he's like, oh, I'm fucking useless. I'm like, oh, hold on, you're not. useless. You're a trampoline. I'm jumping right on your chest cavity. You're going to break my fall. You're going to shin bone up the ass, Josh.
¶ Final Thoughts & Missed Opportunities
It's not going to work out. Just land in his bosoms and you'll be fine. He's padded with a snowsuit. I'm aiming for that pilot gutter. That looks squishy. Yeah, that's a slippery slope. Literally. I thought that the dude, the guy Dan was...
I thought he was actually going to die, not from wolves, even though they were kind of afraid of that. When they had to knock the icicles off of the thing, I thought it was going to be all junk. And just that was it. Because he was already kind of like covering himself. That would have been good. I was like, that would be hilarious.
If it went into his eye or something, that would be sick. He's laying back like, oh my God. I'm hurt, but I'm going to make it. I can't feel my legs anymore. That's when you go. I know, right? You can't feel your legs? Yeah, go now. Drag those things, yeah. We'll snack on them even. Just get down, though. Leave your legs behind. They're useless. You don't need those things. Yeah, you're right. There's not a lot of meat on the bones here. Some better ideas could have been...
accomplished as far as like kills or frostbite, all these other things. Yeah. I might've been yelling at the TV the whole time, but I was enjoying myself. It's still, it's still, yeah, it's still an enjoyable movie to watch. It wasn't horrible. And again, like I think that Adam Green is a competent filmmaker. So like, it's not.
And it's like, maybe he decided to write them as shitty people because that's what he wanted to do or whatever. Sometimes you can't help yourself. But I feel like also they saw an opportunity to make a movie that is just a simple premise that can be done. for no money. Yeah. So cheap. People can relate to it. It is a, it is a puzzle scenario is it's, it's interesting movie. And I, I like the prep. They, they saw the premise and they,
Jumped at it, they made it, they did it. That's an accomplishment. For what it is, if it's the ski lift movie, it's good. I feel like they did it well enough that no one's going to want to... to a version of it. There's not really any improving upon it really because improving upon it is like you do the puzzle, the movie's over. Right. Yeah. It's an escape room.
This movie. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of how all these are. And that's part of the fun for me, at least. It's like, how would I get out of it? That's a Fox situation. How would I get out of this? Yeah. Yeah. And again, I think for me, it's just, I just want to be. I want to be whisked away from that reality. Yeah. I don't want to live in it. I don't want to be frozen in it. That's what's scary, you know? Yeah. I'm here to get scared. Yeah. It's scary. And reality is terrifying. It is.
And I live it every day. Take me away. I'm on that ski lift every day. Ski lift alive. Trying to figure out how to get down. I'm stuck right now at 50. Way up in the air. I'm going to take your leg and his arm and fucking ski down with your body.
¶ Discussion of 30 Days of Night
But, yeah, I don't know. You suggested this one this time, but you knew because I wanted to watch it with you guys. I was throwing you a bone and also because I had mentioned a different movie that you definitely didn't want to do. Oh, boy. What was it? What was it now? But yeah, I did. I was huffing and puffing about some, some other movie. Yeah. And you were very kind of like, all right.
So I was like, I'll give you this one. Yeah. Cause we were going back and forth, trying to pick out a Christmas movies and try to do all that. And like, it wasn't 30 days a night. It was, it was 30 days a night. And you said you hated it a long time ago. Yeah. I don't, I don't. And then you also said it.
we weren't even really talking about doing it, but we somehow came up and you were like, said something about how you, I don't ever want to watch that movie or something like that. And so I was like, we watched that movie. Jeff and I watched the movie together. I only remember because we came out of, we left Slumber Party Massacre halfway through to watch 30 Days of Night in the theater on its release day with our friend Dan Kelly.
I think that is a fucking legit ass, good ass vampire movie. I love the concept. I remember it was a comic before, wasn't it? It is. I like that the zombies, not zombies, the vampires are all like Russians. That's sick. Right. And they're, I, man. It's a fantastic movie.
Fantastic concept. I'll give it that for sure. The idea of it being like where there is no night for a month. I mean, there's no day for a month. Right. That's fucking great. That's interesting. Vampires is on loose willy-nilly all for a month. Don't worry about the sun coming out at all.
¶ Reassessing 30 Days of Night
Great. It's like, yeah, they're like, this is, I'm on a cruise. I think, I think it's due for rewatch for me. Cause once we were talking about, I'm like, yeah, I felt like we've done that. I don't like that movie. And I thought about some, you know, it's actually probably better than I remember it being. Cause this was.
Long time ago when we watched it. Yeah. And we hadn't really done the show. We were doing the show. We were still watching good movies all the time. Maybe I'm tripping. Maybe it's because I might be wrong. I think we went and saw Evil Dead.
that time we saw the evil dead on the release after we dipped on some of my massacre. But I saw that. I remember that because we did the same with my friend, Dan Kelly. Right. And Dan Kelly, I saw this movie with my friend, Dan Kelly. And I remember, I remember this. It was, no, it was just he and I, because.
I remember that we realized as the movie was starting that there was an infant in the theater with a woman. She brought her infant into the theater. And there's a scene where they have to cut off a dude's head in 30 Days of Night with an axe. And it's... You see all three chops, like chop, chop, chop, heads off. And the dude's head's upside down on his fucking body. And my friend Dan goes, it's a good thing there's a baby in here.
I remember that vividly as being a really funny thing to say after that scene. That's great. I feel like I might like it more than I've seen truly awful movies. Now I know how low things can get. I do like it. Josh Hartman. Most people like it. I feel like if I had to pick the top 10 vampire movies that I like, that's in the top five. Is that right? Yeah.
For sure. You know, I should probably reassess that one. Like for vampire stuff that's dropped like, you know, in the last 20, 30 years. I was watching nothing but like good shit 10 years ago. You had a difference. I had a difference. Yeah.
I think it holds up. I think it's got some scary, some gory shit happening. I think all the actors are good. Who has Josh Hardnett in it, right? I'm a fan of him. I like his stuff. I liked it a lot. Yeah, it's got the dude from Sons of Anarchy that I really like. He plays like Elvis. He's the Elvis impersonator one. Oh, that guy. Yeah. He's been in a million things. Is he the guy that loses his head? Or is he the guy that is the...
A vampire. No, he's not a vampire. He might be the one. I don't know if he loses his head. Like long hair and a beard in the movie? Yeah. His head comes off with an axe. Spoilies. Spoiling. What's his fucking name? Because he was in mid-change, I think. Yeah, I thought we had already done that. Yeah, Mark Boone Jr. Anyways, that's... That was off the table.
¶ Podcast Outro & Sponsor Thanks
Brian was very kind to throw me a bone with this one. I appreciate it. Thank you, buddy. Well, we've been talking about this one. It's come up multiple times. A, just Adam Green stuff, survival horror stuff, snow stuff. And it just seems like kind of a silly premise.
That's right up our alley to poke fun at. I'm happy that I've checked it off the list. I liked it. You'll never have to think about it again. I'll think about it all the time whenever I see a spoiler. It's not something that I'm going to be like, oh, I need to rewatch that one or anything. I'm glad I watched it. I like Adam Green, so I'm happy that I've checked that one off. I think he's better at maybe some kind of horror and kind of monstery shit, but...
I think Hatchet's an amazing movie. I love all Hatchet's. There's four now. I love all four of them. I love Digging Up the Marrow so fucking much. Yeah, it's a fun one too. But yeah, I mean, he's a huge fan of horror and stuff. And so I think it's funny that he just had this idea and they were able to like...
Probably because it was so simple, we were able to execute it. Yeah, that's a good point. It's like, we can tackle this movie. We can make this movie this weekend. Yeah. And the fact that he'd never even been up to a ski slope was really fun to me. They're like, we can make this movie this weekend. It's Wednesday. Write it.
Real quick, real quick. I don't, I'm just assuming it was quickly. It looks like it was made quickly. Sorry. I mean, I'm sure dude having to corral and deal with all those wolves. I'm sure that wasn't easy and doing all that stuff, but like.
Hey, it's got a 6.1 on IMDb, so we're hitting high around. Wow, that's high for us. We did the thing last week, which we know is legit. Yeah, it's a good one. These have both been easy watches for me. Definitely. I'm not having a hard time getting through these.
No, I, yeah, I agree completely. Cause yeah. Wait till we got to bring Santa in the mix. Yeah. Wait till maybe next week. We're warming you up folks. We're going to give you some nice little gifts and then we're going to fucking just put some coal in your stocking. Fucking Wet Duke. That's my name. I'm the Wet Duke. The Duke of Wetness. Wet Duke is on the naughty list. Yeah.
Well, anyways. Thank you again. Keeping the winter train rolling on here. But it is freezing here, so let's get the fuck out of here. Let's thank our sponsors. Thank you, sponsors. Thank you to the next record store of Santa Rosa, California, 1899 Mendocino Avenue in Santa Rosa. Rosa, if you end up coming to visit us or the next record store.com online. Yeah. Come get or buy.
All the cool shit. Records, posters, shirts. They have everything. Cassettes, CDs, you name it. They got everything. It's great. They got everything you need. They got everything you don't even know you need. We mentioned that... we're in bands too. They have the records there. You should buy those records. Yeah. Pick them up. Absolutely. Definitely. Uh, yeah. New, new, new trust, uh, new trust record. Last year of state false records. Yeah. Yeah. So.
Come on. Go do that. Are we allowed to talk about your new project? It's not up. But we will as soon as it's up and running. Soon. Very soon. Within two months. Irons in the fire. Cool. Yeah. But yeah, definitely go support Next Record Store. They are our friends and our family, and we love them, and they support us, so please support them. That's right. You can use discount code.
Forever. Forever for 10% off on the website or in the store. You know you want that 10% off. If you're buying gifts for the holidays, you want a discount. You need a discount. Times are tough. This is where you go. You're not getting 10% off on Amazon right now. Go to the fucking Next Record Store. Shop local. Shop small. Support the little guys. Fuck the big guys. If you don't live in the area, they'll ship stuff to you. Check them out. TheNextRecordStore.com. Yeah.
And we also want to thank Word Hoard Emporium of the Weird and Fantastic. That's right. And that's weirdandfantastic.com. They're at 2200 Petaluma Boulevard North in Petaluma. Yeah, they're purveyors of all kinds of horror, fantasy, sci-fi books.
games, and all kinds of goodies in between. Everything you need for maybe the hard-to-find person. They make their own books. They publish all kinds of stuff. They're so cool. They're super smart, super knowledgeable. They're doing food drives to collect food for the community, and they are just rad. people who we love and we want you to love yeah absolutely so check them out again weirdandfantastic.com and you can get 10% off from them as well if you enter midnight
The discount code. That's correct. You can use that in the store too if you want. Just mention us and you'll get that discount. Don't be shy. Don't be shy. So, yeah. Come to Sonoma County. Support these guys or go online and support these guys because they support us. Please do. Thank you. We thank them. We thank all of you for listening. Check out patreon.com slash forevermidnight for a mucho amount of...
episodes that are unavailable on the regular channel. Nearing a 100 at this point. And also check out forevermidnight.store because we've got stuff up there too. If you're looking for a way to support us, those are the two ways. Definitely. And we thank you all again and we love you all. And, yeah, as we get into the holidays, we will see you very soon. Oh, yeah. Chili. All right. Stay frosty, y'all. Stay Jack Frosty. Don't give any secrets away.
Forever Midnight is recorded at the Scary Movie Research Center in Santa Rosa. The music was written by Josh Staples, recorded by Paul Hale. For more information, visit forevermidnight.net
