Get them all out, Jeff. Hey, hey. I don't want to hear one during this whole session. Dude, I can't. I can't, man. Just kidding. We started shaking things loose as soon as I started talking. I know. It just rattles something in my throat, man. I don't know what happened. It rattles. Jarred something loose in me, tiger.
You know when you watch Apollo 13 and you see the spaceship taking off and you see all those chunks of shit flying off? That's kind of what happens in my throat as soon as I start talking. Things start just fucking falling off. You know why?
Because you haven't said a thing because you're the strong silent type. You haven't said a fucking thing all week. That's right. That's exactly right, Josh. And then you get in the air and it's like, what the fuck am I doing with the microphone in my face? I don't like to talk. You should reconsider before you do this for 11 years. Maybe I'm fucking weird, man. I don't, I do. I have like two percent. I'm an introvert and an.
and do extrovert activities, it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. Best of both worlds. You got both. Two different people at the same time. See? They got a word for that. Crazy person. schizophrenic. The voices tell me I'm crazy. I don't know. Yeah, you don't do a lot of talking because the voices are doing a lot of talking all week. Always with the burning the house down and the this and the that. And the slicing of the veins open. But then it's here where...
you can quell the voices by hearing our two voices. Our voices replace those voices. I like these voices much better. These are nicer voices. Jeff, take care of yourself. Leave your veins closed. Keep the blood inside you. It's hard keeping the blood inside. Yeah. Sometimes it wants to get out. You guys ever wonder what keeps your skin on? You know, it's one of those questions. What's it attached to? What's keeping it there? It doesn't make sense. Well, have you ever like skinned a rabbit?
Huh? You ever skinned a rabbit? Yeah, have you skinned a rabbit? Joey, I've skinned a rabbit. I grew up on a bunny farm, killing bunnies with a nightclub. Jesus Christ, Josh. Just for fun? No, for money and food. You got to write the money and then food. But I ate a lot of bunnies. Ate a lot of bunnies, ate a lot of ducks.
They're the cutest things. Were you whacking ducks too? You fucking duck whacker. I wouldn't whack the ducks. My dad would shoot the ducks from the sky. He'd duck hunt, bunny slaughter. And I never really whacked a bunny with a billy club. I just stood there while watching my dad do it. And I'll tell you what, it's horrible. That's horrible. So rough. It's horrible. So how easily does the skin peel off? It doesn't. It's attached. There's a.
Is it sinew? There's something that attaches skin to your muscles. It's bunny glue. It's glue. It's feet glue. I was talking to someone about how I was making Oh, I was talking to my coworker. I said, I made this vegetarian turkey, like this vegan turkey. I should have brought it for you. I have pounds of it. I should have brought it for you. I will eat pounds of it. And she was like, what'd you do, buy meat glue? I was like.
No. What in the hell is meat glue? She goes, that's how they bind turkey balls together. What? That's real? I thought you were just... No, because I mean, when you see a turkey breast, it doesn't come in a giant ball. Well, yeah, I know that, but I just figured they just like... Put it all in like a blender and then shoot it out into an extruder. Well, it's still got turkey meat quality. So I think that is layer.
Perky breasts on top with glue in the middle. Meat glue. Perky breasts. I thought I meant to say turkey. But it makes them perky. It makes them a huge cylindrical, or not cylindrical. Spherical, not cubular either, but more of a spherical. You know how boobs are? Like that. Like a breast is. Like a turkey's breast.
What are we talking about? So your skin stays on because of the meat glue. Yeah. What? Right. Where's the nipple going, a turkey ball? And is it just one? Skin glue. Put it on somewhere. One per? What? Yeah. What the fuck are we talking about? How does your skin stay on? Quell the voices. You were talking about space, so here we are. Let's go back to the space shuttle part and we can talk about space movies.
Yeah, the chunks flying off when we're taking off. Speaking of this bullshit, real quick. Speaking of space, it's poignant. It's timely. Can we talk about the bullshit bunch of ladies that just shot themselves up into space yesterday? Thanks to Jeff Bezos for fucking billions. I heard a little bit of it on SNL, but I didn't know what it meant. So tell me about it. It doesn't mean nothing. They went up for a fucking... For funsies? To make some influencer content for 10 minutes.
You mean you just shot them high into the atmosphere, not really in space? They were in space, but yeah, basically that. Yeah. Like literally 10 minutes. Like. You can't see blue sky anymore. You only see black sky, and it's the middle of the day, and you look down at Earth's there. That means you're in space. Yeah, you can see Earth and everything, but they were literally like Katy Perry was on there. That's what I heard. Taking fucking selfies for her social media.
How the fuck can you be any more... Just the world right now. Classism? Yeah. Like, it's insane. Like, the amount of money. Yeah. Anyways. You got no business in space, Katy Perry. Leave her there. It's bullshit. Everyone's like, oh, it's so empowering. It's like. No, it's not. What are you talking about? You just empowered the biggest, baldest dick.
in all of the world what about the real fucking you know astronauts that are women what about them exactly why don't we raise them up a little bit that are being fired and erased from the websites I don't know that's weird oh but let's put fucking Katy Perry and every other plastic
surgery nightmare woman up in the fucking shuttle. I saw another funny meme too where she got out after they landed and she's kissing the ground and it was like Katy Perry after 10 minutes in space and was like, what about those motherfuckers just there stuck for eight months? With their fucking teeth getting skinny. Yeah, seriously. Their bones getting lighter.
You're like, what the? Like those people are sitting there at home being like, you motherfuckers. Yeah. It's so toned up. Space is fun. It's so dumb. What a waste of fucking money that is. Just so people, the influencers go out there with their iPhones and do selfies. She was promoting her tour. fuck her tour like how what kind of insane bullshit do we live in right now we're like like
Katy Perry, too, should know better. Like, there's like, you know, Jeff Bezos. Okay, yeah, whatever. That guy's a fucking billionaire idiot. He's out of touch, right? Katy Perry, I still feel like at least kind of maybe like rubs elbows with some normal people. She's way out of touch. She's so out of it. She was married to Russell fucking Brand, that Nazi piece of shit. Yeah. She's a nightmare. Yeah. Yep. I was like, oh, it's space related. Let's talk about those. Whores.
They're space whores. Say it. You're going to say it. They're horsetronauts. Just so you know from now on. Horsetronauts. Show some respect. Horsetronauts. Yeah, sure. They're given their proper titles. Damn, dude. That's cool. Oh, cool. You could have fed the whole country, but go ahead and take some photos for Instagram. Yeah. It'll quickly be forgotten about in a week.
Also, you know what? It's like your tour, bitch. I mean, Katy Perry. There's a soundstage that has that same view. Just go do that. Yeah, that's how we shot the fucking moon landing in the first place. Why are you even going up there? Yeah, exactly. Fact. Go get bricked with crew brick. Exactly. Jesus. I had no idea. I didn't know what the joke was. The joke was that they're rich beyond rich, and we're all sitting here living paycheck to paycheck, and they're shooting fucking selfies in space.
I hate it. I hate the sound of it. I don't like anything about this. Let's go back to taking our blood out. Maybe the blood doesn't have to stay in. Not all of it. Just a little bit out. I want most of it out. I want to be gray. Like an alien. Exactly. See you now, back in space. Back in space. The aliens in this one, not so gray. Humanoid. Humanoid. Barbarella style. Tiny. Make-upped. Make-it-upped. I think they grabbed her from fucking Mardi Gras.
Brought her into space. Dude, I like it. She's a... Mighty God queen. Mighty God... Princess. When... What world am I in? Is this planet Earth that I'm about to say that... Leprechaun 4 is my favorite movie in the space franchises. It's pretty all right. It might be my favorite. Guys, I think I have brain damage because I liked it. I think it might be the most fun.
For sure. There's definitely no question about that. At least it keeps a quick pace because it's like something's happened and then something happens and something happens. It's not just endlessly running down a hallway like things are going down yeah oh there's lots of wet shooting sure it doesn't make any sense swinging for no reason yeah it doesn't make a lick of sense but no at least it's things are happening yeah for sure oh i am it's weird to me because
I hate not knowing what happens in two and three. Cause like. My questions might be answered. Nope. But I doubt it. I think this jumps ahead a millennia maybe. Past even the hood ones and everything. I think it's one of those. I think it's safe to say. It's like every other one of these has been. It just shoots ahead like 100, 200 years or so. I am disappointed they didn't give us a year.
Cause I really would like, I like to make fun of the year when I hear it. Like when I think of the, when 2045 was the, was the fucking critters, critters, critters in space was 2045. Unless you look at that dude's calendar, then it's something completely different. 2345. And then when I think back to like,
Friday the 13th, part seven, when they're sitting around a campfire and the science fiction writer's like, it's the year 5491. You're like, dog, you skipped too far. People don't exist anymore for sure. There's no way there's even. It's just leprechauns. It's just like. seal they're like they're part roach half air exactly i'm gas and roach exactly a hybrid gas roach is what
humankind is all that's left. That's 20 years from now. That's definitely 2045. But I think that when you like, I would like to know the year because I like to make fun of it. I like to make fun of it if it's too close or if it's too far. It's funny to me. Hellraiser seems like the sweet spot. It's like 21 something. You're like, okay, I can't even imagine that far away. A hundred years ago, literally there weren't cars or barely were there cars. Yeah, yeah.
Like where my house was. When my house was made, there was a fucking chain on the sidewalk. For your horse. For your horse. When you think about that, the people that first live in this house, They didn't have a car. They rode a horse to fucking the house.
To fuck in the house, yeah. To actually fuck inside the house. Who knows? I think they had chimneys, but only a hundred years before that, no chimneys. People were dying of smoke inhalation all the time because they're stupid. Jesus Christ. It is weird, that jump, because like... It's like we went from horses to fucking self-driving cars in like a hundred years. Yeah. You know? And then, and then like. The next jump we think is going to be...
Space portal or something. It's still going to be gas cars. Coal cars. Yeah. It's never going to fly. It sucks. Yeah. We're supposed to have flying cars by now. The fucking Hollywood ruined me. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Flying cars at this point. The military ruined us. Or the government.
God damn it. We could have flying cars. We could have fucking tires that never pop. We could have fucking electric cars that will never break down. We could have all that shit. It's fucking bullshit. We could be like other countries and have... Actual transportation that gets you places. Yeah, what a novel idea. That's insane. A train that leaves every 20 minutes. Instead, I got a horse.
Sid, I have a fucking 10 miles to the gallon van. What am I doing? But I was disappointed that there wasn't a year, but I wasn't disappointed that you get right to space. It was a little jarring just to be like... princess it doesn't make any the last movie as far as i know is at vegas which now i really want to see because it's vegas yeah we gotta love for vegas maybe she was a showgirl because she's dressed like one but she's from some fucking dominican republic
something like that what the fuck is that but like yeah and the planet they land on had Khan at the end of it so I wonder if it's C-H-A-U-N, Dominichon. Well, the weird part was, though, he's there with all of his gold. Right? And a bunch of caves that look like a butthole. Yeah, it looks like a lower intestine. It does look like inner space. And by space, I mean your butthole. I don't know. It looked fucking weird. And they said the walls were made of gold. No, they were made of like rubber.
They were made of like intestine. Yeah. It was very ribbed for leprechaun's pleasure. He's tickling the gold team there, man. And he's in there with the princess locked up, right? She's chained up. Yeah. He's got her fucking on lockdown. Yeah. He shows up, though. Where did he grab her from? What happened? I want to know. She had never seen him. 20 minutes. That's the end of Leprechaun 3, I'm sure. I'm absolutely sure. In a slot machine? Does that mean that Leprechaun can just teleport?
anywhere in the universe? Through a dick. Oxygen? As long as it's through dick. Yeah, just dick only. Yeah. If you're an animal with any kind of dick, then he's got you. He's going. He can stow away any urethra he wants at any time. And then just eject himself full size. You went in his air. He jacked himself. His gas. He jacked himself out. He did jack himself straight out. He did. He needed a boner to get out. Right. That's pretty amazing. We might have jumped ahead of ourselves. Good evening.
ready for romance. She loves me. Ready for excitement. This barbecue's only just begun. Ready for murder. This is far too violent. Leprechaun 4. Leprechaun in space. Leprechaun is in space on a planet with just bugs and this lady, this humanoid woman who's a princess from another planet. He's never seen him before. Even though he jacked her and she's all shackled up. Yeah, she's terrified of him.
He's his plan is she's got royal blood. He wants a king. So he's going to impregnate her. He wants to become a king. He wants to become a king. So he wants to kill her father. And marry her, become the king. Don't just do that in the castle. Also, you are a fucking leprechaun. All you have is money and power.
I know you have, like, magic abilities. You could just be, ping, I got a crown. Yeah, that's pretty. A crown is easy. He spread all the other gold and jewels all over that table. A fucking crown. You can make anything happen with your imagination. Like, just make it happen. Just teleport your feet. write about that king's abdomen and the crown will be on your head when you get there and he will be exploded it is just it's weird and convoluted that like there's some things in this where I'm like
He's a magical being. He can do all these things, but yet he still needs to have a gun? He's still firing guns every chance he gets. I kind of like seeing him shoot a gun, though. Oh, it's amazing. It doesn't make any sense. There's no reason he needs to hold a physical gun and do anything. Fuck it is awesome to watch Warwick Davis in fucking Leprechaun make a shoot a gun. He definitely likes his...
seems like he likes it. He's having fun. And he's got the little cowboy sheriff badge and he's got the little six shooter and he's like... Blowing on the fucking hoot. He's having a good time. So maybe he just likes to shoot guns but he doesn't really need to. And we know from this If he gets fucking sploded, he's just going to be back in two minutes. It doesn't matter. You watch him explode three times in this movie. None of them kill him. It doesn't matter. But I do like seeing that, too.
Yeah. It's fun. It is fun. Why was this fun? Why was this the best one? Is it because we just watched Critters 4 and that was so painfully boring? Because there was nothing happened and this has everything happened. Yeah. Like literally everything happens in this movie. And it's a dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb movie. I'll tell you what else we got. But fuck, it's fun. Critters 4 might have Angela Bassett, but fucking Leprechaun 4 has got... Gary from Bachelor Party in space.
Well, you see there's the gal from fucking Tim, the Tool Time tailor is the one gal that's like the soldier gal. I forget what her name is on Tool Time, but she's that gal. I did not recognize her from anybody. I sure did. And then fucking 90s kid would. We had Demons 2 fucking radio. Yeah, we fucking enchiladas. We had those damn enchiladas. Friday the 13th part five. Yeah. Dude. Yeah, Miguel Nunez. Yeah. Dude, I was.
Hyped to see him. Hyped. Highly underused, but yes, he was in this. He's incredible in everything. He's amazing. But we get Rick, the fucking punk rock guy driving the fucking car in Demons 2 is Mooch in this. Right. And I was like, there's a star-studded. You got Gary. You got enchiladas. You got Mooch. Mooch. You got the worst. He's not the pig guy from Night of Demons 1, but he's this.
The equivalent. Yeah. The shitty dancer from Night of the Universe 2. Dude, it's a bastard. Take a hike. Yeah. Oh, we also have fucking Jackie DiNardo, dude. I'm sorry. Who's Nardo's? So the blonde gal, the doctor, she plays on... Always Sunny, she plays this fucking newscaster that Dennis is like in love with and always trying to fuck. And she's just this big boobed fucking newscaster. Jackie DiNardo. And that's her name, Jackie DiNardo on there. But I was like, that's fucking Jackie DiNardo.
Star's done it. Exactly. We're amongst the stars. Literally. I have a question. In and amongst the stars. Who in the world The main baddie. The main baldy? What's his name? Mittenhand or whatever the fuck? Mittenhand. Kitten Mittenhand. What's his... Mittenhand. His name is Guy. What's the name of his character? Is it not Mittenhand? No, it's Dr. Mittenhand. Dr. Mittenhand. Mittenhand. Why? He sounds like fucking Dr. Scott from Rocky Horror Picture Show.
And everything he says is theatrical as fur. What is this dude in? I didn't look, but I need to know now. I'm looking now. I do kind of love that he's just fucking head and shoulders on a fucking card. Oh, yeah, that's a thrill. With that reveal. Dude, Brian, I swear we would watch this together. At every turn, I could hear you laughing in my head. Me too. I was like, that's great.
Brian's sweet, sweet laugh is happening right now. He rolls his ass out with one arm and one bald head. And then with the strap covering up where the skin makeup gets bad. His neck skin looks like shit. Is skin just silly putty in 2955? I'm talking about sergeant head sergeant chop top sergeant chop top yes yes
I was, are you fucking joking me? Yeah, the fucking Silly Putty head. It's like the bulb of Silly Putty that just snapped, like pushed around. His poor right eye is just like getting like lazy because it's so heavy on him. That actor was done dirty by this role a number of times. He was going for it though, man. He was chewing up every fucking scene he could. It was funny because when that movie started, I was like, this guy's trying to be straight up Arlie Ermey.
And then you read that shit where he was supposed to play that character in Full Metal Jacket. Wait, this actor was? This exact actor. He was supposed to do that. He was in Full Metal Jack. Yeah, he was. He was in that full shtick, but then like Army was better. Yeah. So Kubrick's like, now you do it. And so then this director felt bad for him because of that and then put him in this as that character. But he fucking was not nailing that even.
He was so over the top. It was so much of an angry, crazy person. Like, it was unbelievable. Yeah. I'm trying to think of what it reminded me of, but it was just like, it was so cranked. It was all cranked. It was, yeah. Even when he is in drag, it's fully cranked. He's talking to himself in both voices. He's out of his mind. This dude went too hard. He went too hard. Like, ultimate ham. You're only allowed to go the hardest in these movies if you're Warwick Davis. Seriously, like...
He's great. Every scene, he's chewing it up and it's fucking awesome. And it rules. So much of it, too, where he is breaking that fourth wall where he's constantly saying one-liners to the fucking screen. I love it. I mean, I kind of feel like I just don't care.
All the rules are out the window. I know this is a pile of shit. I just don't care anymore. I'm not going to judge it. You know, it's just like, fuck it. It's technically the worst movie of all these space things. It's got to be. But it is. For sure. Spiritually the best. It's the funnest one that we watched. It's the most fun. It's the most creative. It's got the most going on. Yeah. I mean, the fact that we got a fucking giant Warwick Davis. Oh, my God. Leprechaun was.
20 feet tall. I'm sorry. It doesn't matter. The fact that we got fucking Mitten Spider. Oh, yeah. Now we're jumping around real hard. It's amazing. What more do we want? What more do we want in the fucking... I mean, it really was delivering like all the things, even badly, but still delivering all the things I want.
Space laser gunfire, you know, like shootouts. And we had a lightsaber. A fucking leprechaun lightsaber. From his fucking shillelagh. From his shillelagh. And later on she's a fucking switchblader, a box cutter. Why did it just become a box cutter? I don't know. That should have, because that was such a fucking like little nod. Stick with the lightsaber. But yeah, exactly. He gets one whack on the lightsaber. You don't even use that thing later. You know that dude is in, I mean.
They did a good job. You know that guy's in 12 pieces, but you only see one piece. He's hiding strategically behind... butthole rocks. He definitely got halved and quartered. Leg off, leg off, halved. and head off, but then they never showed any of it. And he's got cut and shuffled. Yeah, you're like, you know how lightsabers work, world? Zip, zip, zip. Was it where they couldn't afford another effect like that later on, so they just had to have the box cutter?
Oh, yeah. Shillelagh box cutter. What did he use a box cutter for? He sliced a guy's fucking suit open so the bacteria got inside. Right. So he had to be flesh-eating by this. Which immediately is just a skeleton, which is amazing.
Smoking a skeleton. It looked like fucking Home Alone. So cheap. I can't even believe it. And it's another fucking scene of like... you know, shitty sewer looking... spot on a spaceship with dangling chains and bullshit every fucking one of these every wet steam and wet steam is the what if we also got a fucking uh liquid nitrogen scene as we do in all these fucking why is that such a thing i know it is so funny that like everyone has to like break to glass at least one person has to
fall and shatter into like crystal pieces. Yeah. In these space movies. I don't know why that's such a fucking trope. Cause they're all made the same time. Practically. Right. Like a couple of years. Yeah. Because Critters had it, right? Jason has it. Jason X has it. Critters is 92. Jason X is 2000. This is 96. This is 96. So it's every four years you get yourself a... But do we start that? Do we get one in Hellraiser?
I don't think we got one in Hellraiser. We should have. If they had a little bit more time and space, we would have for sure. Yeah, we weren't in space very much. That's all. Right. It's mostly powdered wigs at times. Mostly in mansion. There's no liquid nitrogen back then. Yeah. Should we call Hellraiser Mansion, not Hellraiser Space? I thought for sure, like I started this movie and I'm just like,
I'm going to fucking hate every second of this. It was going to be like Critters Part 4. I didn't really like Leprechaun 1. No, it's not that good. It's not that good. And like, it's weird because I like, seriously, I love Warwick Davis more than fucking most people in the world. Like I named my fucking cats after the damn dude characters. Willow and wicked are my, my fucking cats. Like love him, love him, love him. And like,
It hurts me to, like, not love his main horror character, you know? I like it. Yeah, this redeemed it a bit. This one. This one. This one redeemed it in space. Oh, my God. They don't ever say he's even a leopard. Dude, is there a gas leak? Are we fucking brain damaged right now? Yeah. They say he's an alien, right? He's just another alien. Right. Because who knows if the woman in the Princess Mardi Gras outfit is... From another planet. Yeah. Who's even saying that these.
This army is from Earth. Right, yeah, yeah. Who even knows? No, they can be from any other planet, too. They don't act like they're from Earth. They're definitely aliens to me. It's just funny how, like, little bit of money they had to make this thing where they had this, like... This weird like entertainment like club.
And it's just like the four of them in there. And it's just this big empty. And there's a bar. But who's written in the bar? He's like, yeah, there's no bar. Just pour yourself a drink. Yeah, it's an open bar. Plastic cups. I'm like, I had those same cups growing up. My mom gave them to all the kids so it didn't break anything. Those cups are so cheap. Right? That is the... When you realize that there are only seven people on this ship.
You have Gary. You have the four or five soldiers. Yeah. That's all that's there. And one scientist lady. And the other scientist lady that's like, supposedly the assistant to fucking Head and Shoulders, but. Oh, yeah. Let's say 10 max. Yeah. Who's flying the fucking thing? Who's flying it? Who's bartending? That's a good question. I mean, there's no reason to have a maintenance guy. Head and shoulders is part robot. I think he can run things.
Little like fucking computer. There's a little computer dick. Maybe sound like later like typing. He's just like. I do not think that anyone knew he was even on the... fucking ship. No, because he's been ahead in the screen the whole fucking time. Not even Gary. They thought he was on fucking planet Neptar or whatever, fucking chilling. But the big reveal is like, you will do what I say, or else. And they're like, fuck off. And he's like, oh.
Door open. Oh shit. He's right there. I would've just really kicked him over. That dude's like... Dude, that guy is not threatening. Yeah, how's he going to get back up? Yeah, tip him over or he's just going to be like a little bug trying to get up, you know? Good luck, bug. He's really heavy, though. You just sit on him. You just can't even do anything.
What is he going to do? Be bitchy? He's bitchy. He was doing that right side up. Be more bitchy? Yeah. It was like... jarring but like hilarious and also I didn't hate it I kind of loved it it's so bad too because the cart he's on is huge because his actual body of the actor has to be in it Yeah. But I kind of like the shots of him, like his organs on the inside. You can see like his heart pumping blood through a bunch of tubes. thrashing it out.
There's a shot of the dummy, the animatronic version of him. Which is the best part. Just the fucking head's all moving, wiggling. It's always when he's leaving. Never from the front, please. I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave. Oh, fuck. Or is it the other way around? I love to see you go, and I love it all. I hate to watch you leave, but I love to see you go.
Get out. And shut up. God. This movie is just a wild cartoon. It's not a horror. It is a cartoon. It's not a horror for a split second. It's just a fucking acne cartoon. I think it does. I would say... Mitten Spider qualifies as horror. Sure. It makes this a horror film. It's a sort of, yeah. And Leprechaun isn't, Leprechaun doesn't, you never see any deaths that he, he's really like taking over the Freddy Krueger mantle in the 90s, isn't he? Yeah, definitely.
one-liner and it's yeah and he can like shape shift and do whatever the fuck he wants kind of pretty which is just so funny again like that he would even care to be king for like You want a job? What are you talking about? Why don't you be king of a planet where they don't dress like that? Or just stay in this intestine cave with this lady. You already captured her. Is it just because you want to fuck her? You can probably just fuck her. I didn't think he cared about that.
I don't think he cares about that. You just want to rule people? Show them your fucking magic. Exactly. And all your fucking money. Yeah. I mean, look at ugly ass Elon. He's fucking, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. Leprechaun, Trump is pretty much leprechaun. Right. If he put his... The large one. Yeah, put his ducks in order in a row. Can't do it. I love that we see so much lit. close-ups of Warwick Davis as Leprechaun in this.
where you can see the makeup that makes his teeth sharp. Oh, it's such a bummer. I'm amazed. I was like, why'd you show me that? Yeah. I don't know why. I could see his full teeth. Yeah. And like his lips, like under the, like, it's so funny. Yeah. Like just a black, and then you just see his like colored lips and you're like, I've got to light this a little darker and it might be just a bit scarier. Or yeah, I mean, they forgot.
The DVDs were a thing. Like, oh, people are going to be able to see this up close and see details. I just think it's funny that there's a horror icon that is a leprechaun. He's wearing a hat with a buckle on it. He's got a fucking... Buckley shoes. Like, buckley shoes. A shillelagh. Yeah, a jacket. And, like, he's fancy.
An Irish accent? Dressed? Fancy, kinda. The Englishman's best attempt at a fucking Irish accent. But, like, when he starts yelling orders, like, to the sergeant to the sergeant guy. Oh, yeah. He's just like, about first! And like leprechauns yelling this shit. I'm like, what? Planet are we on right now? We've left Earth. We're between planets, dog. I'm between planets right now. We're in space. Anything goes in international fucking space. Seriously.
One of my favorite things about this movie, and there's many favorite things about this movie, but I really enjoyed the dynamic of him with a... with a woman i know right we're like they're kind of like he's like trying to do shit for her to impress her like kill people and she's loving it yeah i love that they're like teamed up like
It's great. It's great to see. It was so much fun to watch them run around and please each other. And also bicker a little bit. That's what a couple does. Especially towards the end. blowing people up or like you know yeah they're having so much fun together that's great when she comes to after she grew her hand back and he's in there
And at first she's like, oh, oh, it's you. Like, I was like, what? Now we're just like, she's just fine with him. Like, she's just like, I'd rather be with him. Yeah. He just wants to make a deal with me. Yeah. He's just doing the art of the deal. That's Leprechaun's whole thing. the hair is pretty much was really close to okay what's the weird thing with the fucking shrinking the gold down when there's like an entire huge cargo bay that's empty
And the piece of gold that he's shrinking is like a foot tall. Like, who cares? I think he'd toss in one of them crates. You need it shorter? You think it doesn't make it less heavy. It can't. Technically, it should. It should? I mean, because definitely large leprechaun was way more. If it's not as... the ratio of density to the size, then you just made less gold. Right. Because couldn't you, in theory, make it even bigger? Yes. Yeah. Do that. Than its original size? Yeah.
So what do you need anything for? Right. You just take something. A tiny bit of gold. Yeah. Put it under there. It's worthless now. What's worth it? Yeah. Yeah. That's where your money is. Put some money there. Big ass money. This makes the numbers bigger, not the actual money. Got the zeros hanging off the bill. I got this one billion dollar bill. Where can I put this? What bank? Yeah, I was like, what is happening with like...
There's plenty of room. I don't know. Those are all empty boxes and crates. Just toss in one of those suckers. There's plenty of storage for this. It's weird that on a spaceship there'd be so much... unused real estate in the spaceship. It's just so much You would think you'd be a little more economic with where you put things and how big your spaceship is. It should just be big old fucking warehouses of nothing. Right. And that's what's funny about these movies, too, is I feel like as we get...
into all these space movies, you have that. And I feel like what we know of space right in 2025 like you would be very economical about what you could every spot like yeah it has like some kind of function right it's not just a big empty area no this is where the entertainment bar is at like what yeah
If you're in a space shuttle, if you're in a space movie, you're like, oh, where's the bathroom at? It's down the fucking chain-laden hallway, and it's a giant place with 25 urinals, and there's only five people on board. If you go to an actual space shuttle, where's the toilet? Oh, it's this tube. Yeah. Put it in your dick hole and piss into it.
Where do I go? Oh, you are where you're going to go. Right here. What if I got to poo? What if I got to poo? Same tube. Yeah, same tube. That one goes, yeah, same tube. You dip it in this fucking wet nap. And it goes inside this diaper that you... I look you in the eye as you're sitting on space. For eight months. Also, there's no gravity, so any shit that gets out, it's just floating around in your face. Shit particles. just pink ice you're gonna taste it too fucking yeah
The taste of space. It is the taste of toilet. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. It tastes like space in here. It smells like fresh space. It's piping hot space in here. Wet, sloppy space. It is so funny that every hallway is squirting steam fucking just oh yeah liquid chains it's all it all looks like you can get tetanus at any second yeah it is it is the funniest thing to me like now that we've been talking about this more and more like every time i see the hallway
And they're walking by this... I'm like, the plane... I mean, the plane. The fucking ship is going to implode. This thing is... Nothing if not electronic throughout. Like, fucking watch where the water goes. And where is this air coming from? Where is it going to? Don't we need that air?
I think something's happening with something wrong. Maybe that's why all of these ships floating in space are abandoned. Everyone's dead. Yeah. And why does every fucking ship, I want to get to this again later in the, we still have a couple episodes ago, but why do they have like a cell? detonation sequence. What is the fucking purpose of that in a spaceship? Why would you ever need to just...
Explode the whole fucking thing. Gotta wrap this movie up, B. Gotta wrap it up. Gotta put some emergency behind it. It's like, oh, okay, because the only people that can really do space travel are evil billionaires. So at some point, they're going to do something that's worthy of having to destroy it all. Get rid of the evidence. Destroy it all. You think of Mittenhand as not, is a Bezos-like, musked-like? It is so weird, though. It's true, though. Like, why?
What purpose would that have? And it's always like... Like, give me an hour. Give me some time. I got shit to pack. It's a fucking football field just to the hangar to get to the ship. Let me have some time. I'm going to make you run down this hallway and break my neck on a chain. Fuck. Yeah. It's always so urgent. Yeah. But it's always at the very end. You're like, oh, fuck. Fucking 10 minutes. Wait. What? Hold up. But this one, they got the password right at the last minute.
Last five seconds. Yeah. Yeah. So dumb. I like, I love every, that ship was so full of fucking idgits. Like when you got these three fucking chuckle fucks sitting around a computer and the woman, the scientist. Fucking scientist is like, I can't think. And the fucking books. Books. He's the smart one. The smart soldier. Fucking duper at Everett over there. Goes running up is like, okay, now. Think. Think. Think you have 15 seconds. Think. She's like, let me think. Password.
Scientist? Types it in. Yeah. Oh, God. Like, what would that be? You are fucking... the punchline is they exploded and the survival was just their brains misfiring at the end they're like oh we made it no you didn't you were obliterated also wasn't she his assistant Do you think she would know some of his logins or some of his like maybe any kind of password? How does she even use a computer? She doesn't know the passwords. Yeah.
Isn't this the future? Don't you just have face recognition? Why do you even need one of these old school passwords to enter in? They didn't anticipate that. We get that when we're... We're making space movies way back in the day. So much of this now is like, yeah, facial recognition would open every single door for you. Yeah, you'd have some chip in your fucking wrist or something. They would know where you're at at all times, so there's no more hiding.
Or you don't need some weird, like a fucking Ghostbuster laser gun. You know, people in this room or whatever. Yeah. I love it. It's killing me that Leprechaun got huge. And also blind for some reason. Like couldn't see shit. Could not. Is he nearsighted? He can't see anything? It's too close. I mean, that guy is here. He's right there. You can see around all the boxes. Yeah. Also, your magic can just go bing in all the boxes. Yeah.
But also, if I'm that big, I'm just going to fucking Tasmanian devil through those boxes. Oh, yeah. Start kicking. Those big-ass buckled shoes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Kicking the boxes. Not getting hurt. Yeah. Yeah. Kick it around. If they can shoot laser guns inside the ship, they can kick a box across it. That's another thing. Come on. Logistics here.
You're going to blow a hole in the fucking shit. That's where all the steam's coming from. People just fucking around with their guns. Like all these 50,000 steam holes thanks to us shooting everything. The very first scene, we're just going through the locker room with people packing their guns up. I'm like... of course you gotta have guns in space you think they have guns in space I guarantee that any of our actual astronauts aren't packing. Tom Hanks had a fucking.
Sidearm in space? No way! Because you know why? You get a fucking doo-doo in your brain because you're up there too long. You're going to off yourself or your comrades. Right. Well, I mean, yeah, you're off yourself and all your comrades come with you because the fucking hole blows open. The hole through you and then through the fucking plastic ship. You've seen these space shuttles?
I've seen an airplane. It's plastic. Yeah, it's made out of fucking tinfoil and fucking smoke and steam. Nothing. Chains. Chains are heavy, dog. There are just extra chains everywhere. It's not attached to anything. What are you using? Although they did use chains in this for the pulley.
I was like, finally, someone's using the chains for something. For the first time. But it's like, also like, there's not an elevator. There's not like a way to... But did it need to be in the sewer part? I'm like, what? Yeah. Every spaceship is just a wet sewer. Yeah, whatever. Firstly... You put gravity on the ship, thankfully, because if you didn't, the sewer would just be your air. Maybe that's what the steam is. I don't get it. I don't know.
They have open sewers and garbage chutes in space. Like, Jesus, fuck. Yeah, as soon as the gravity goes off, it's just fucking turd city. Everything fucking wet turdy. That's what the flesh-eating bacteria is for. That whole thing was... to eat your gravity went off your shit yeah yeah yeah Eat shit. Eat shit and die in space. I forgot for each shit. Taste it. But like when, so that guy, those guys went into the like bacteria chamber. With the super, like, Halloween suits on.
With the flashlights in him. And you didn't happen to see the little Warwick Davis in one of them suit? I'm like, that's hilarious that Warwick Davis is already magical enough, but he still needs a bacteria. Yeah, he's got flesh. And then, so the one guy gets fucking dumped on. It looks like a bunch of blood, but it's probably dookie water. He said it was like coolant oil or some shit.
Oh, no, no, mine's fine. It's just coolant. It's coolant, not diarrhea. Doesn't smell like coolant, bud. It smells like hot. But he... But his buddy's thing gets tore open because he gets sliced by Warwick. Mm-hmm. And then immediately, like, obviously the skin's getting eaten, but like...
When they open that chamber, you're also exposed, right? There was no, like... Oh, yeah. Like, was there? Yeah, they walked through a... Yeah, where they got blasted. It was more steam. Oh, okay. Just steam. You got different sets of steam. Yeah. Okay. That was the...
Why don't you spray that steam inside the room? Fucking hell. Because you need the room to eat the shit. That's the sewer. It used to be the mess hall. Now it's the... real mess hall thinking back to like explorers doesn't seem that far-fetched anymore if you think about it if we can go to harbor freight all we need some chains some steam a little bit of fucking some some meat glue uh some tinfoil we got a fucking ship
Yeah. Explorers is genius, right? That ship is a badass. It's trash can. Sorry, trash can. Trash can, tilt-a-whirl, whatever. But it's like that thing, the concept is strong. It's like the strongest space concept. You have a fully oxygenated and fully protected... Sphere. Yeah. And they designed that with space plans? Dream plans. Dream plans. I love it. It's fucking out of track.
I love it. They're children. It didn't need to be anything. They could have went completely without anything in that weird space bubble. Yeah, the space bubble. It's been in there. But it was just cool looking. Yeah, it was just kind of more fun. Yeah. It's like you build a fort when you're a kid. Well, let's make this fort fly. Space fort. Let's make this fort fly. I forted. I wanted to see a bunch of three kids flying around in Petaluma.
Oh, yeah. You want to see a ship? Yeah. Protect your identity. You look at these ships in these movies and you're just like, it's just chains and steam. Tinfoil. And sadness. Yeah. I mean, yeah. And purple and blue lights. It's so dark. Give me some light. Do you want people to go nuts in space? Right. Design it like this. Yeah. Make it look so depressing. I mean, I've worked with people that have like, you know, a sun lamp because it's like dark in the office.
If it's like that bad in space, you know, you're going to go fucking sad. I don't know. You're going full sad, man. If you're on a ship with fucking Gary and he's dressed like he's in the new power generation, dude, I'm fucking amped. I was like, what kind of court leader fucking outfit is this? I cannot believe it's Gary. And he has that kill where he gets his face pancake.
Oh, my God. I couldn't believe that was – I've seen that image for so long. I'm like, that's fucking Gary from Bachelor Party? Yeah, I didn't realize it either. This movie is fucking rich. I like to think this is a sequel to Bachelor Party. And Gary needed – he was so – sketchy on earth he had to get to space oh my god i want to watch that so badly again i haven't seen it it's because he's so upset he like he fell in love with the fucking drag queen and he had to
Oh, yeah. He's like, I gotta leave Earth. After he fucked Tim that one time. Fucking transphobic movie. It's such a bummer. But yeah. In the bedroom. I don't believe the groom has had you yet. I fucking love Gary. I was like, oh my God. I said, I was thinking, what? Boy, George has a yeast infection. Screw you! Screw Sting! Oh my god! Why did he have his iconic mustache?
I know. You need it. If I have one gripe about this movie, that's it. Gary Stash was very weak. I was surprised when we do get that drag queen moment. I was like, oh no, it's going to get bad. But they actually were very...
Like, besides him trying to kill them, they were very accepting of him as a drag queen. Yeah, that wasn't the problem. No, at all. Why are you acting weird, though? Yeah, you're like, oh, you're trying to kill me now with that weird bayonet thing that just came out of nowhere. Just appeared. Yeah. Like that's what, that's what you get. He's a, he's a cyborg. Why? Why? When does that change?
What does that change about the movie? What's the big reveal for? It does nothing. They're like, we can smash his head. We have a very limited gore budget. We have plenty of robot parts. We're going to smash his head. But we want to make it robot parts. Okay. It looks so bad. Oh, God, it looked bad. Yeah, it looked real bad. Sure. He was a cyborg. Also, this movie does not pass the Bechdel test at all. Oh, no. Holy moly. What's the furthest thing from that?
Because every woman is there to... just be oogled and it's right have sex with and yeah oh my god yeah that scientist was horny for do whatever you know every moment he would mention anything that was remotely could be like misconstrued as being sexual she like completely went brain dead She's like, huh? Naked? Wait, wait, wait. You saved my life. No, she's like.
getting all fucking puckered close her eyes leaning in diagonally come on she's just blowing at me and like what god he's hunky book when Books takes his outfit off and he's just running around in his pants and he's wearing no shirt I think I forgot that scene where he just took his shirt off for no reason yeah he got a little slice on his shoulder and he has to take his entire wardrobe off
I'm fine. I'm fine with it. Run around in space naked. I got to take my shirt off so I can then take my pants off to wrap around my arm. Yeah. I don't want to be shirt no pants. I would rather just be pants around my arm. Like when she gets her fucking pants ripped off by the spider guy. I love it. Unbelievable. But I was like, oh my God, she's running around with this fucking, these high-waisted fucking panty bikini thing on.
I can't believe we got that scene. I mean, he was already the best character, the fucking Mittenhands or whatever. Sure. And then he got hit with the fucking DNA juice with the spider and the scorpion. And then turned into a fucking monster. And what the... fuck yeah the princess's blood turns out that her blood the blue blue milky blood is regenerative so
Mittenhand scraped a tiny bit off his finger and then put the little blue blood on it and it turned into a full finger. Yeah. Sticking up out of a slide. Out of a little glass slide. And he's like, okay. Immediately, you should have splashed it on his fucking face and see what happens. Immediately. Don't fuck around. He's like, someday I'll be beautiful again. I was quite striking.
Like, no way were you ever. You're tripping. Splash them under your arm, bro. You're missing some things. You're missing a couple things. I guess that was the plan originally, but I do like it. leprechauns sitting there being like, oh, let's mix it. Let's put a little spice in there. In an actual blender with a tarantula and a scorpion.
in it. And I was a little nervous because he didn't put a lid on it. He just went crazy. Let's talk about this budget for this movie where you can't afford any actual alien specimens so you have a spider. And a scorpion. Ooh, exotic. You had a monster's face. on that planet. Yeah, we had an Elmer. What the fuck was that thing? It was like an Elmer, but also like a face hugger. For a second. Yeah. What was that shit? It was like an Elmer face hugger. Yeah, because it had a face.
But it was like that blue, but it looked like a blue penis like Elmer. But it was like, we saw it for fucking, I mean, a millisecond. Yeah. And they blasted it. We saw it blown open more than we saw it together. Yeah, that was the whole gore budget right there. Yeah, seriously. And I was just like, and there's only one. We have one.
make sure we have those scorpions in space that's crucial to the science of like what we're doing here in critters two four sorry critters four no you're right there were two critters at least when you have like the lab that's got specimens, it is fucking fully stocked with fucking a freak show. They should have lent fucking leprechaun some of those specimens. Yeah, and then leprechaun should have fucking lent critters some fucking movie. Some thrills. Some thrills and some spills. I mean...
Even the horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible CGI effect. We're still more fun than anything I saw in Critters. They're trash. I loved it. So bad. When you see a spaceship in space flying in Leprechaun, you're like, this is a video game. You guys just filmed a video game. This is Descent. Yeah, but worse. You guys popped in a PlayStation 1 classic.
Was this the one that I read that there was like all the like swooshing of the doors opening and closing was actually taken from the Doom video game? I think so. Really? Yeah. The sound of it. Cause they're like, well, we can't afford that. I played that. Yeah, we all did. It was fucking rough. Yeah, this movie. This movie's crazy. This movie's fucking bonkers. But it's kind of... I mean... I still think, personally, that I like Jason X better.
This is definitely the best of the three we've seen so far. Oh, yeah. I've had the most fun watching. I think it's going to be the most fun. I've seen Jason X one time. It's funnier than that. There's some fun stuff in Jason X. He knows it's fun. It doesn't take itself seriously at all. It knows it's all it is. It's just goof. We've seen that Leprechaun explodes multiple times and then it's fine. So he gets sucked into outer space, gets sploded, and is flipping off.
He's fine, right? He's still going to be fine. He's probably in a urethra right now. Right. Or just back on the ship. So, yeah. So, the guy went to go piss on the planet. Never piss on a foreign planet. Piss your pants. He pissed on a piece of the leprechaun. Oh, just to... Just for fucking... Just be disrespectful. Yeah. And Leprechaun magicked his way up his fucking pisser.
His piss stream right up into his dick hole. Later said, you should be wearing a little rubber if you're going to piss like that. I'm like, what? Wait, wait, wait. Leprechaun. You wear a fucking rubber when you piss? You piss into a condom? It's a big old balloon inflating. He's like, you should be wearing a paraphylactic. You're like, he was pissing. What are you talking about? Water balloons?
He came out the dick. Yeah, maybe it was because he, I think it was when, because he said after he exploded the guy's dick and therefore his whole body. He flew away. He flew. When he flies out, I was laughing so hard. Did you just see? Warwick Davis has the cutest little legs and the whole history of legs. And they're just like... They have him on some hook. He's got a long set of legs at Warwick Davis. Also... Poor Warwick Davis. Okay, like, dude is...
A little person. Yes. We all know this. He knows this. He's been tormented his whole life to this. As most, if not all, little people are. It's about to be tormented right here. What are you going to say? The moment he becomes a largeman, he just starts talking shit on shorties. It's true. He called him a short ass. He's like, he's all, where are you at, short ass? And I was like, whoa, dude.
You were just short like two seconds ago, and you're just going to start turning into a bully? Also, he makes that dick joke, because he's large now, so he has a large dick. Oh, and he looks... But it's... Isn't it? It's the same proportionate size with how you are. So it's still as small for you. In your body size. But yeah, technically it is a larger dick. When you're looking at it and there's giant cargoes and cartons and little people by your dick, it makes it look bigger.
If he looked at his dick when he was regular, and then we looked at his dick when he was large, it would be the same to him. it was huge already then sure but he wouldn't have been impressed when he looked in his pants when he got big it would be like if I climbed into a dollhouse and looked at my dick and said holy shit it's huge It's taking up the whole bed. Look at this. Look at it just laying on the couch. Look at it right now. All of the kitchen countertop. Taking up the whole thing.
I bet this tiny little bowl of oranges is massive. And it's funny though, it's like, that's, he like, isn't even as stoked being large. He looks in his pants first. He's like, oh, he said something dumb too. It's good to be large. Large is good or awesome or something. Large good. A big like good. Man. This movie's great. It's so fun. It's so fun. When Mitten Spider becomes, when you finally see him, by the way,
Stuck the fucking DNA hypernatal in the side of his head. So he's just sitting there shaking and freaking out. And then they go do something else. They come back and he just sizzled away. So they were like, oh, he must have just eaten his ass alive. But meanwhile, he's in the control room pushing buttons. Laying webs and all kinds of other shit. He's shooting webs everywhere. Who is he talking to when he says, I am no longer Mittenhand. I am Mittenhand.
Spider. He's got his tongue going. He kept on going back and forth between being like Mittenhand, like scientist and like, give me flies. Like he couldn't even. That dude is, everyone back out of the room, that dude's acting so hard right now. But when he said Mitten Spider, I backed it up. I had to watch it again. I'm Mitten Spider. What do you think those webs are coming out of? What part of him is that?
All of his dicks. He's got eight dicks. He did have an extra little hand I saw on the back. Did you see that? I couldn't even make out what was happening. I couldn't tell it was coming or going. It was just like a chubby hand coming off the rear of him. like 14 people to work Mitten Spider. It looks so good though. It was so rad. You never can see it as like a whole body. No way. Nor do you want to.
But when he's like ambling down the hallway, you just see all the fucking legs behind him going. And he's botched it up when she was in the air duct or whatever the fuck it was. And they're just like showing like little silhouettes of him like through the duct, you know? Like, man, you could have made this like so scary. Like just show his little...
totally skirting around yeah like skittling around or hearing that on the fucking hollow metal yeah and then like have him backlit and you can see his whole fucking freaky body I mean they could have done so much scary shit just with that one scene yeah And chose not to. Chose to light it very bright and then he just pops up. Because even, I mean, Mitch Spider isn't actually like, can't do anything. He captured... Miguel Nunes Jr. And he just put like.
pizza cheese all over him yes pizza cheese pizza cheese enchilada cheese yeah fucking and some web he was definitely covered in some just yeah he was hanging from web covered in cheese yeah and he's just like ah I got to get to the computer still. And he was able to still do it all. He was totally fine. He was just sitting there trying to figure out the password the whole time, wasn't he? Yeah, he was just hung by cheese.
I'm like, so the spider didn't actually kill you or maim you or anything. That was saving him for later. He gave you a cheese kiss. Cheesy kisses. But Mitten Spider was amazing. Liquid nitrogen explodes him. Why? What's with it? Why do they even have it? Did we discover liquid nitrogen in the 90s? Is that what happened? Wow, this is so cool. We can freeze everything. Freeze a rose, smash it. When did we discover liquid nitrogen? Oh, I think it's been since the 60s or even earlier.
1772. So there was some in the wig fucking powdered wig day. We could have had one. They could have done that to Adam Scott. Yeah, we could have had a fucking liquid nitrogen. They didn't know how to harness it to a gun then, I guess. How the fuck did they, in 1772, were they able to fuck around with... liquid nitrogen. God, can you imagine how many people got hurt with that shit? Oh, there goes my hand. There goes my wig. 1770, what the When was the plague? Like 1600? I don't know.
Who do you think you're talking to? I have brain damage. I already told you. I'm the stupidest person you know. I already told you. Left 4 Con 4 is awesome. I love this movie. I'm stupid. It's fine. I am totally lame. I did see, I mean, a lot of people commented. I thought I was going to hate this. I cannot believe I had so much fun watching it. I'm surprised you did too. But like, yeah, this is not my thing. This is not my cup of tea. After Critters 2 though.
It's only, you can only go up. Yeah. It's Critters 4 and that's fine. You call it Critters 2 because we never did Critters 2. No, we did do Critters 2. We did, yeah. Fuck me. But there's never more than two Critters in the movie, so it feels like Critters 2. Exactly, yeah. Because Critters 3, there's three of them. and then Critters 4 back to 2. It's confusing. I swear. I'm still like reeling. I didn't see any Eddie Deason in Critters 4.
I thought he was in Curtis. He's probably in three or something, right? Or is it five? He's in two. We know he's in two. Yeah, 100%. I thought he was... Oh, but three. I think he's in three. Does he continue on in three? When he gave us that message, he said he wasn't in the one with DiCaprio. But he came back. He must come back for another one somehow. God. Did they keep going? There's more. There was like a series, right? And there was like some other. There's a series. Yeah. Fuck.
Dee Wallace, I think, is in... Do they ever go to Vegas, though? That's what I care about. Creators in Vegas would be fun. I want to see Leprechaun in Vegas now so bad. Yeah, just bowl them hairy balls all around the fucking casino floor. That'd be hella fun. I hope we get a lot of, yeah, of Leprechaun. Fucking around. If they don't, man, what are we even doing? What are we even doing? It's probably an abandoned-ass casino. They probably went to Winnemucca. They're probably not in Vegas.
I have fun. As long as it goes ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Which is also funny because it's like, why are you in a casino? You can just make all the gold and coins you want. That's why. Coins are coming out. He's like, I don't even need to work. Maybe he lost his powers for... He hasn't earned it all back. Just let me ten bucks. I promise you I'll earn it all back. I'm so close. I have a strategy. It's funny though because this is so far ahead.
It's like, what happened to Leprechaun that he's like so down and out that he's now on another planet? in a butthole trying to be king. Seriously, what happened? There's not even a little text in the beginning to let you know why he's even here. It's so random. I'm like, fuck, what did we miss? You were arguably Earth's favorite, most famous cryptid. And you got it. You had to break out. You and Gary had to break out because we're chronic sketchiness. But like, yeah, I mean, you know, if
If nothing else, on Earth, he is the most powerful being that is out there. There's no one else. There's sure as hell in the Leprechaun universe, there's no Avengers, there's none of that shit. You have Warwick Davis' character as the all-powerful Leprechaun. He could have just been president or king or whatever. At least of a small country or a state. He could have been governor. He got access to the treasury. But again, it's like you have the money.
So therefore you have the power. And you have the power already. You have the magic. Yes. You don't even need treasure. You have fucking magic. Yeah. You obviously don't care about fucking pussy because you're ready to fucking kill this lady as soon as you become king. Right. I'm like, what's the point of having this hot chick? I don't know, but I need more of him with a fucking woman. I need that duo again. It's good energy. I want a whole movie of them.
Just enjoying each other's company and fucking around. I'm saying Bride of Leprechaun, man. I'm ready for it, dude. Dude, that sounds great. I want it. I fucking want it. I like this. Straight fucking, like, you know, we get some Chucky kind of stuff going on. That kind of shit, like Bride of Chucky. Does the princess ever... She's fine. At the end, wait, they weren't on the ship together. No, she was fine, right? Something happened to her.
She definitely died. I feel like she didn't make it because they would have... She would have come out of the, she comes out of the, onto the fucking bridge of the ship. Like, Hey, what's up? Oh fuck. I forgot you were even here, bitch. She did flash her boobs. And apparently that's a death curse if you see the boobs. On her country planet. Fucking kill me. Let's go. And he's like, okay. Everyone's like, kill me first. Hurt me first. That was such a stupid way to see tits.
And that's the director thought so too. It was very dumb. It was like so shoehorned in by the studio to like... You have to show some titties. Okay. I would have put him on fucking leprechaun. That's what I'm saying. He could have done some crazy shit. Fucking pop your top and he's got these huge fucking jigglers. He already turned into the scientist lady for like a second.
Why not shrink him back down and have a couple saggies? That would have been so sick of it. He shrunk back down. He's just back to leprechaun, but he's still got his fucking cans. That would have been so... And he'd just be like... He's just playing with him. He's just fucking around. He's like, I was in Willow. I will not do that. I will not have
These big old jugs. He could have lowered anyone he wanted if he had some big old jugs. Money and jugs? That's all you need. Got infinite money and money. Honking ass jugs. Please. Tug me jugs. We'll jiggle me chugs. Jiggle me chugs. Could you please? Yeah. Okay. Refresh this. I want a movie where it's a female leprechaun. That's Pride of Leprechaun.
And then he has a lesbian lover. Oh, there you go. Or she. Yeah, that's fine. I want that movie. We're going to reboot Leprechaun, all female cast. She's like no men at all. Fuck that. She's horny as hell. For work, Davis, he does not give a shit. All he cares about is gold. But she's like Pepe Le Pew, but green. Constantly trying to fucking... And woman.
Rubbing her fucking nips on him and shit. I love this idea. I do like it. I'm sure Warwick Davis would be fine with it. What's Gary up to? Can we bring him back? This is before he goes to space, right? I wonder if Gary's alive. You know, Gary's actual name is Gary. Because he's actually sketchy. His name is Gary Grossman. Gary Grossman. That is right. You know Gary's name is Gary.
You don't say. I mean, the character's name wasn't Gary in this movie, but it doesn't matter because he's in two other things, Bachelor Party and Real Life. his name is Gary in both of those things fucking awesome what is he up to Get him back for this. He's not dead. He's in all kinds of modern things. And it's. Get him on the fucking podcast Dude I bet How insane would that be I would love it He's in all kinds of things And things you wouldn't expect
He was in things. He was in Halloween 2007. Rob Zombie's Halloween. As who? Wait, wait, wait. Wait, that's who? Did he work in the hospital? Drunk rabbi, maybe? Oh, drunk rabbi, okay. Who the fuck was a drunk rabbi? I don't know, yeah. Hold on, maybe I'm wrong. I'm only reading the first part of his name. So it could be drunk rabbit something. Was he a... Drunk rabbit.
Rabbit and red Patriot. Oh, he's just a guy. Oh, he's just a sleazy dude at the strip club. Yeah, that's nothing. Junk rabbit and red. Not rabbi. Sorry, rabbi and red. The fact that he's in that is crazy. That's wild. Now I gotta go look. And you know why? It's because Rob Zombie loves Bachelor Party like us. There's no other... That's the only reason he's in that movie. He's... Rob Zombie's more of a casting director than he is a fucking actual director. Straight up.
Straight up. We talked about that. He should just be casting movies. Exactly. They'd be sick. They'd all be people from the 80s, TV shows you love. Look at that guy. Look at him. 74 years old.
I would love to be in the same room. Bring the mustache back. I know, man. If we interview him, I'm going to bring a mustache to the fucking recording sesh. Put him on. God damn it. You need to put this fucking cookie duster on. He was in that Billy Crystal movie, Mr. Saturday Night, which is, I think it might be blackface. fucking crazy yeah i'm curious what's up with that dude yeah he's in everything silver spoons night court
He is such a fucking cartoon of a person, though. He seriously is. He can't get away from that voice. I wouldn't want him to. Nor should he ever. But you know, that guy could be...
Nowhere to be seen and you hear that voice and you know. It was great. It was like a wonderful surprise. What a treat. When I was watching it's like... fuck I have to sit through this leprechaun movie and then he pops up I'm in I'm fucking in this Gary's here I'm cool but it was he was pretty inconsequential unfortunately he was yeah he just like sniffed her body one time and that when he's like licking on her fucking
He was peeping her, and then he started licking her belly button. Oh, yeah. He was doing body shots. He's like, get a load of those knees. He's a knee man. He's got a fucking knee fetish. Sniffing him. I'm like, dude, you're just, okay. Just doing this. Just heading the TV, just watching. Yeah. Didn't even say anything. He said, you're a naughty boy. And he was like, ooh, you're right. We're both bitchy and strange. I love it. Man, what a weird movie.
A lot of unexpected shit happened in this. I was not expecting a leprechaun in the dick. You know what this reminds me of? This is like Blood Diner in space. Pretty much. Because you got, what's her name? Sheetar. Sheetar. Essentially, the princess is Sheetar. And Gary is like the stuffed dummy in the back of that guy's car. It's just like trashy, stupid.
But also in space. This is the trashiest space movie I've seen in a long time. Most space movies are trashy, right? At least the ones that are like... We're watching? Yeah, we're going to watch. This would dip really low in the IMDb. I saw this thing had a 20% on Rotten Tomatoes as it should it is a piece of shit my dudes it is a pile of stinky space shit but like lots of personality though why is it a stinky space shit that we like it's so weird I don't know what makes
Why is this so enjoyable, but Critters 2 is so bad? It's not trying to be good, but it is trying to be interesting and funny. It does know what it is where I think Critters thought it was something else. I really thought it was trying to be something like that it wasn't. I love that work in the leprechaun character does like a little, I was trying to think of what it reminds me of. And it reminds me of Pee Wee a little bit. He'll do a joke and then he'll make a little face.
You did get to hear his little fucking laugh around the corner all the time. I love him so much. He's really good in this. He's giving it his all. He's not holding back. He's like, I know this is directed VHS sequel, but I'm going for it. Well, it's just like Robert Englund. I think by like the fourth and fifth movies, like...
they have that character so locked in. Right. And they're just like, they can nail it. And they know that it's like a lot of that shit's not going to the movie theater or it is going to just be for the video. Yeah. In the nineties. Yeah. but there is an audience for it you know and it's because of them specifically like these movies would not happen without Warwick under the makeup we would not be at number four right now no not at all yeah because he's so entertaining as this character
I kind of want to see the hood ones now. I kind of want to see them all. I was prepared not to watch any Leprechaun movies after that first one. Yeah. And I think now I'm kind of fine with it. Vegas, and then a hood. So you want to watch most of them is what you're saying. What's that? Everyone except two, please. I kind of want to watch two. I just don't want to watch two. What is two?
I wonder. Nothing. It's called More Leprechaun. And I'm curious about the weird one that doesn't have him just because I do want to see... him teleport into a man. But he basically did that in this. He did. He basically did that. He really did. Yeah. Through the dick. Through the dick. But through a dick hole. Can it get better than that? No. That's a hard way to get in. Because he exploded out. Yeah.
I wanted that guy to be more fucked up after birthing Warwick Davis. I know. You kind of want to see his fucking hot dog split. His hot dog split and his baggy fucking skin after that thing came out. I also want to see. Who was she talking to? Oh, the soldier who was.
giving him the tug in the fucking backstage. She was feeling so bad. She was talking to Metalhead guy. Character's name is Metalhead, by the way, the sergeant. Of course it is. And she was like, I mean, I feel responsible. I mean, I'm the one who gave him a boner. Yeah. Did you say I gave him a boner in a space movie? Yeah, yeah. I'm in. And he was like, I hope I go that way. Yeah. Don't we all? And she looks at him all hot and bothered.
Yeah, she's like, really? And then he was like, uh, wait, never mind. I don't want to die from a boner on the ship. Is that all it takes? Yeah, I want you to give me a boner. She's smitten? She's space horny. There's not a lot of options here. You're horny. You're looking around.
There's only so many dicks. There's a magical leprechaun. Well, there are only so many dicks. There's only so many dicks. You can't really choose. Yeah. Just hire one more woman. Please. I mean, well, no way. Do you see how fucking... horrible, especially Metalhead Sarge, was like,
When he found out that the scientist was a woman, he lost his mind at the beginning of the movie. Was freaking out. Like, dog, you have a woman soldier right next to you. I know you can't see out of that sign because your eye is closed. Is that what happened to his brain, actually? There was another woman present? Fucking brain fried. Cannot compute. I'll tell you. It's a color cupcake. cupcake. Why was he a cyborg?
Why does that change in the movie? Why did we add that? You put a hat on the hat. There wasn't even skin on the hat. Didn't need it. And also...
Mittenhouse didn't need to be a robot either. He could have just been a guy who had some sort of trouble. But I'm so glad he was. He could have had one arm missing. You know what I mean? Or kind of slightly like... fucked up and then or he just like wanted hair you know I just want to regrow some hair yeah I feel you but it's like the idea that he was a computer that developed a body after Was that what it was? Something like that. He's like, I'm a computer, but he was a computer.
It can't be computer first. That felt like he was a human who got fucked up and now he has organs that are pumping. I thought he said he was a human and he was like doing some kind of experiment with the computer and then there was like the accident or whatever. That's what it seems to be. Show me the accident. I want to see what happened. I would love to see that. He's just like, oh, there's lots of steam and chains. Slips on the thing. Slush eating bacteria got the lower part of me only.
Yeah. Yeah. Great. Great stuff. Pretty much the ship did everything is designed to do. It dripped you with steam, it hung you with a chain into the flesh-eating bacteria room. It's like, that's what the ship is. And then blows up. You were processed by the ship. Yeah. This is how you meant, you were perfected. I'm fully down. Great. I'll watch more Leprechaun movies. I don't give a shit. What happened? Yeah.
We should check for the steam leak in here because I swear there's no reason we should be loving this movie. There's definitely a brain-eating bacteria as you walk through the door. There's something happening here. Okay. Should we take a voicemail real quick? I do one voicemail and then we call it. All right, guys. Hi, it's Swan. Oh, love you. I got two things. This one's an oldie, because I haven't called in a while. But you guys are talking about Alien Bromulus.
And I don't remember the contact. in the Patreon episode, you should subscribe to the Forever Midnight Patreon. You guys are talking about Viagra in space. And then you're like, oh, you're just taking it on a plane. Don't take Viagra or any kind of motor pill on a plane. or you will have a stroke. It's all blood pressure. It's blood pressure medicine. Do not take Do not take Viagra if you're gonna be airborne.
At all. Or go underwater really deep probably too. What about on trampoline? Warning now, don't do poppers if you do Viagra either because that'll stop your heart instantly. Just letting you guys know what kind of person I am. I love it. With your dick. But I have a doo-doo secret. Doo-doo secret. Yeah, I'm going to miss Space Month, but there was this laser tag place by my house.
where I got a little too rowdy playing laser tag. It was called Zero Gravity. It was all space-themed laser tag. I got a little too rowdy. The guy working there was just one nerd working. I was 12. This guy was probably like... 29, you know, he's just like, oh, these stupid kids come in here, they break the laser tag stuff. So I understand where he's coming from. But at the time...
I wasn't. I wasn't about to, you know. Calm down. So I was like, you know, getting too rowdy, rolling around in the laser tag gear. And then he picked me up by the vest. Because I was jumping around and he threw me out of Lasertag and he was like, you can wait in the game room in the arcade, but you can't play Lasertag anymore for the rest of the night. And I was just like, well, fuck this guy. Then I went into the bathroom.
And I took a shit on the floor as revenge to this poor guy who was just like, oh, work at an arcade. It's fun. And I'm the dick. I'm always the dick in my stories. I have to take a shit on the floor. Yeah, so if you're ever getting kicked out of a laser tag place in space or on a plane, don't take Viagra and shit on the floor. Yeah, all right. You guys are great. Keep them coming. Oh, Twan. Don't stop. Don't quit. All right, guys. Bye. Oh, thank you, Twan.
I thought when he said he had to do the secret. It doesn't have to be an accident to be due to secret. Yeah, that's just a dirty deed. But no one knows who fucking laid that egg. But I started laughing as soon as I heard about Twine. being a rambunctious child and remember that the story's gonna end with poop I was like something's gonna go terribly wrong he's gonna shit himself in a laser tag vest but
It was a space theme, too. That was very appropriate. I think it's going to make Space Month. I mean, this is a Space Month episode. Yeah, it's happening. Also, but It's not going to be the same guy that's cleaning up the fucking bathroom that it is running this fucking laser tag area. So he really kind of did someone else dirty. Oh no, the guy was running the whole thing. The whole thing. One guy. He said one guy. One nerd.
See, I feel like... Okay, well then good for him. I want to say, as an addendum, I know Tuan has so much knowledge about taking boner pills and also taking poppers at the same time and being on a plane because he's from New York. But he's not actually from New York City, so it doesn't qualify. He's like from upstate New York. Yeah, he's from New York. He's a New Yorker. So the only time I've ever seen poppers done in public.
is New York when you're trying to dilate your butthole to infinity. To create a black hole with one's butthole. But I didn't know that. I don't want to have a boner on a plane even if it's a natural one. Unless I'm... I'm not trying to fuck on a plane. You're not trying to get that mile high? Bench. I've never in the tiny, tiny bathroom. Yeah. You're not trying to have a talk about a due to accident. Something's going to happen. You're going to get your foot stuck in a suction toilet.
Something's going to go wrong. There's not room for one person in an airplane toilet. Not me. Not one of me. I'm straight Chris Farley in there, man. Seriously. Speaking of stuff, get sucked down the blue water. There's no room to even get boners in your chair either. Those things are so tiny and short. I'm hitting the fucking back of the seat. Yeah, the guy in front of you is like, hey. Must be nice. I'm just slightly uncomfortable.
I didn't know that you could I feel like a lot of people will probably take poppers and viagra so that's a bad combo or is that only a bad combo when you're In space. 10,000 feet up. We're underwater. I don't think you should be mixing poppers and Viagra. I don't think you should be mixing Viagra with anything. I don't think you should do poppers. And I don't even know. I don't know what.
Welcome to Moral Corner. Don't do poppers. When I found out what poppers were, because I feel like they're a pill because they sound like you pop pills. It's like a pill. It's not. They're sniffers. It's like a little tiny... Fucking thing of like airplane glue looking fucking huffing stuff. Yeah. MC huffing stuff. That was me at the bar. I'm MC huffing stuff. Um, HP cause I HPV huffing stuff. Sorry, we're workshopping this joke. But it's... That is... Is...
Oh, it's HR. Fuck, I blew it. But so anyway, I saw that it's a huffer. I was like, oh, fucking don't huff. Don't huff even if it's... Yeah, don't do that. Your brain is going to... You're going to like Leprechaun 4, really, like a whole lot. That's a test. Did you like it? Ollie's fucking gone. He loved it. He fucking loved it. Braindead stamp. Tattoo on your forehead. Yep.
But thanks, Twan, for the medical advice. Twan's a doctor. Yes. Good to know. Dr. Twan. Dr. Twan. He's also an amazing skateboarder and comedian. Very funny man. Talented skateboarder. And a great illustrator. Yep. Comic artist. Yeah. His Hillbomber comic is super fun. Yeah. He's amazing. Well, Tom was one of the first ever people to call in. I think he might've been the first. Might be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we, yeah.
One of the days when we do our tour, we'll have Twan open. Twan's not going to come on tour with us. Sounds great. Let's thank our sponsors before we leave. Yeah. Thanks to the next record store. I was just at the next record store. I saw Jeff there. That's right. I was DJing. You were DJing for a record store day. Record store day. Yeah. It was fucking fun. Did you leave with records? Excited. And I used my discount code forever. I did too. I spent $100.
And it was only $90. There you go. How about that? I love that. Yeah. I bought Waxwork soundtrack, which is so sick, dude. I think Teravision put it out. Yeah. The music is horrible, but man, the artwork is so killer. And it's the same with the movie, right? We've always talked about how dope the artwork is and how shite the rest of it all is. I saw it. I had to buy it. Jeff also saw one that he didn't have to buy, but I did. And it was the Puppet Master soundtrack.
And it was one through ten. All of them. Selections from all the movies. How many records? Just one. Maybe two. It's the same music. Chuck Ban being frugal. Yeah, Dick Ban on the fucking kit and on the keys. I can't wait to listen to it, but the artwork is, it looks like Puppet Master.
Looks just like it's got puppets all over it. We had to have it. I couldn't pull the trigger. I'm feeling broke these days. I bought it for us. I bought it for all three of us. I'm rich. Josh was making that record store money. I'm rich. I got paid $0 a DJ. Sweet, sweet. But yeah, Next Record Store, we love them. You guys should check them out. If you're local, you have to go into the store, buy some records. They're open seven days a week.
Right on Mendocino Avenue by the Junior College, 1899A Mendocino Avenue. Gotta go in there. If you're here, you gotta go. And if you're not local, they have a website you can go to, which is where you should buy your music, your records, because fuck the big corporations. Let's support the little people. Exactly. Support our local record store at thenextrecordstore.com. Yeah. And type in forever in the discount box to get 10% off. Do it.
Get there. Yeah. And we thank them for sponsoring the show. Yeah. Thanks, guys. And that's going to be up for us. Our third space. Oh, we got one more episode. One more left. Yeah. One more left. We got a Patreon one coming up too. Event Horizon is for Patreon. And it's exclusive for Patreon. So if you want to hear that, go over there, sign up.
Become a patron. Yeah. Oh, you go. It's patreon.com slash Trevor Midnight. But coming up next on the main channel, we got Jason X or Jason in space, if you will. Brian's favorite. We got Brian X coming up. If you want to hear hot debate, that's going to be next episode. I'm going to get heated. Mom and dad are going to fight a little. That's okay. I don't know. And I'm going to be right in the middle going, Mommy, Daddy, fighty. It's your fault, Josh. It's okay.
You did this. It might be. We love you all for listening, though, and we will see you soon. Talk to you soon. In space. Forever Midnight is recorded at the Scary Movie Research Center. in Santa Rosa. The music was written by Josh Staples, recorded by Paul Hale, and performed by Linda Amari, Elliot Whitehurst, Paul Hale, and...