What's your recovery time these days? Dude, it's not good. It takes me days, I feel like, after a long night of drinking. Yeah, it's not good. If I have three drinks over six hours... I may not even feel drunk really at any point, but in the middle of the morning, I wake up with fucking rapid heart, be like, Oh God, how many drinks did I even have? What'd I even do? Like, Oh, for real. Just my, yeah. Just like a blackout. Like, it's like, um,
You know, you get the drunk and guilties and the fucking panics when you drink a lot. The drunk and guilties. I get those when I just don't drink barely anything anymore. I wake up like, oh God, water. Like the middle of the night. Seriously. No matter how few drinks I have, if I have an odd drink, I'm like... sick and have a headache the next day. No matter how little I drink. It doesn't matter.
And I don't even, like you were saying, I won't even feel drunk. Like, nothing. And then I'll still get the hangover. Like, what the fuck? Yeah. The fun part. Yeah. Come on. I'm not even partying. And I feel like I partied so hard. Ow. and banging my head last night. I was watching television. Time for one more story. I literally was banging my head last night. I feel like I am dying. I am dying. I've seen Napalm Death and the Melvins twice together in 25 years.
They keep playing together, so I keep going. So I keep going. They got you. They got me. They got my number. Yep. Are those tickets any cheaper than they used to be? I feel like concert tickets nowadays are fucking brutal. Oh, woof, dude. I bought a ticket yesterday for $55. And that's just like general admission? This is not the Melbourne show. This is a different show down the line, kicking down the line. And the service charge was $25. Right.
Yeah. Half of what you were paying for the ticket. Yeah. That's insane. I bought tickets recently for a show that's in the future. And I was like, oh, I'll buy two tickets. Maybe I'll get someone to go with me or whatever, you know? And I go to see the price. I'm like, nope, I'm buying one ticket. It looks like I have to go half price. I can only guarantee I'm going to go anyway.
Exactly. I kind of stopped going to shows. Like, even my favorite bands have rolled through. I'm like, I can't, I can't, I can't justify this. I've like, wanted to like, take Dill to like, shows like, and something like. Like Devo, where I'm like, okay, it's fucking Devo, of course. Huge. Legends, of course. But it's Devo. I should be able to go buy two tickets to Devo for $100, right? You'd think, right? You would think.
You're right. You can't get regular general admission, sit your ass all the way in the fucking Arizona ticket for less than $100. Like, you know. Dude, I'm trying to go see Simple Minds. You know, simple minds, don't you forget about me. Fucking promise me a miracle or whatever. When's the last time they had a big old hit? Right. Come on. It's like $180 to sit anywhere close.
like since this band forget about don't you forget about my wallet straight up it's brutal I was like in any show that you're like oh that's a new band I want to go see or like a new group or something fun a new thing forget about it I mean I I get it why they're so expensive like no one's making money off of selling records anymore and shit like that this is how people make their fucking living but
but damn but that all trickles down right like the the the streaming services should be paying the artist better you know all that stuff like like Yeah, it sucks, man. They're making tons of money. $300 for a ticket to a show, like a concert that back in the day you could have got for $25. And then check those merch prices when you're at the show. I was thinking back to my... I was just telling these young Canadian kids,
seeing Jane's Addiction because we got in talking about Turnstile and I'm like they sound just like Jane's Addiction because I'm old and I think that because they do and I will point if you want to sit down with me and listen to fucking Nothing Shocking and Turnstile's fucking Glow On I will sit here and point the parts out where you're like, you can't deny it. That's why I like them both though. So fuck it. They're appealing to my old ass, but I was like,
That band is open for Blink-182. Those tickets were in the hundreds, up to thousands of dollars. And I saw Jane's Addiction, Susie and the Banshees, Buttle Surfers, Rollins, Ice-T, Nine Inch Nails, In Living Color for $30. Lollapalooza? Lollapalooza won. Wow. 1992? Yeah, I think it was 1991 or 1992. So sick, dude. $30. That's insane. Sixth row. It's insane. Legendary performances. In their fucking heyday, too. Oh, the prime. Yeah.
Susie and Chains Addiction? What the fuck? You're fucking kidding me. It's just a bummer because I'm just like, I want to see live music. No, you don't, old man. Yeah. Too bad. Sit your ass in the back. All the way back home. Yeah. Stream it on YouTube. Freebies. Yeah. Shit, man. It's rough out there. Shit is. Shit costs money. It's hard. I ain't got that money. Welcome to Old Man Talk with Forever Midnight. Forever old and broke There's these fools I've worked at the record store for years
By the way, the next record store, the greatest record store in the world. I just went there this week and bought something. What up? I used my discount code of midnight. Did you get that discount? Hell yeah. Oh, good. It worked. That's great. Hell yeah. So I swung that for a midnight name around a little bit. They used to have like all the tickets. I think it was maybe Hoyt's ticket collection out on the counter.
And it was like, Bob Dylan at the San Francisco Civic Auditorium, $5.25. What the fuck? There's always like a 75 cent. Right. Grateful Dead, $4.75. What the fuck? That's how much I was making when I first started working at McDonald's when I was 15. One hour. $4.75. Secret of Son of the Grateful Dead before you were born. With that. I brought Prince tickets for like $29.50. Yeah. I remember thinking like 30, whoa, these tickets are 30 bucks.
That's pricey. I can't go. If I could buy $30 tickets to any of my favorite groups. I wouldn't think about it. I would buy them for everybody. Spending $500 still. All my friends are going. Think of the crew I'm bringing. I'll sell them to everybody else for $35. I can scalp that shit. We know it's bad when the fucking the bootleg. ill-shaped shirts in the parking lot are $50. Yeah.
I'm still considering it. Wait, what? No, totally. That's a steal. You should have seen the fucking half shirts I bought at the Susie show. That shit was so wide and so short. So square, so short. Who made this? Girl, extra. What? This is a large. Like, no, it's not anymore. You washed it once. Now it's for a baby, for your glass, for your beer cup. I always feel like I'm looking at the parking lot and it looks decent. I get home and it shrinks up to a half shirt and the.
Somehow the print in this laundry, it's all of a sudden it turns and it's like on my side. Right all the way over underneath my armpit. That's the thing. It's cheap, but the print moves around willy-nilly, wherever it feels like being. It's all upside down on your ass. Fluid prints. I like it. It's like some new fucking tech tech. Yeah. Fuck hyper color. This thing moves around the shirt.
Yeah, that Susie shirt didn't even look like Susie anymore. Right. It's all warm, stretch. Sandy in the branches? Anyways, we're back in space, guys. I like it in space. Ooh, outer space, man. We were floating around. Feels good. This is week two of our... Forever Midnight goes to space. Deep space. In space. In space. Give me that echo. In space. In space. Thank you. It is fucking cold out here in space. We're finally in it, though. Okay, last week, we dipped our toe. I feel like...
Hellraiser Space was pretty... I liked it. I've been thinking about it. Thank you. I enjoyed it. Thank you. I'm pointing that right now. Feeling it. Feeling it. Yeah. I gotta tell you, man, just jump in the gun a little bit. There's kind of more space in Hellraiser than there was in this fucking movie a little bit. Well, this was space shit. This took place in space more. But man, I swear we saw way more space in space-like things in Hellraiser. Yeah. Well, this shit was...
Terrible looking. When they show a spaceship, his face was like, ee, ee, ee, ee. Why is it so jerky? Because it was from another movie. They're stealing footage from other movies. In slow motion. That movie Android? All that shit's from that. Ooh, I want to see Android now. We have a few copies of Android. I think we just saw it. Yeah, you did see a lot of it.
I saw three seconds slow down to 30 seconds. Some of that spaceship footage was taken from the first movie. Even they just repurposed it. Fucking assholes. You cheap motherfuckers. They took the Android footage and then they superimposed the fucking spaceship from Critters 1 and 2. What? Yeah. I think was some of the set too taken from Android? Yeah. I think they probably just had laying around. They're like, here you go. Or just like shots of like hallways and shit. It was nothing but hallways.
This movie was all hallways. Space is just hallways, I realized. A spaceship is mostly hallways. Metallic hallways. Yeah, sharp, wet. Hollow metallic hallways. With steam. Always a steam spraying everywhere. Steam in space. That might be causing some problems. Isn't that how Apollo 13 went out of commission? These spaceships are not secure. And they are just, what the fuck? That was like when they aborted that ship.
Like, give me a break. Aborted it? When they boarded it. They should have aborted that shit. When they boarded. Okay. What's the word? Disembark. When they got onto the spaceship. Onto the bigger spaceship? Onto the big spaceship? Was it a spaceship or a space station? I don't know, man. I don't know. It was square, I think. I think it was a Hellraiser box in its final form. If it's floating in space and it is somewhat movable, isn't that also a spaceship?
You know what station means? It's stationary. It stays put. The space station in our outer space is... flying around but you can predict where it's going it's like pretty much it's on a it's on an orbit but it's just not like rocketing off into the deep space. That's true. Like it's staying put. It's stationary. Stay put. I'm trying to get over there. Slow down. But we started off with Hellraiser Bloodline because we knew they'd go to space. And then we had many debates about Critters 4.
Because critters are from space. They started it in space and they were aliens. Yeah. Alien creatures. You've seen them wreak havoc on Earth. Those two eggs are the last two eggs. You are instructed to place the eggs in the plot. The last two eggs were launched into work. It won't scan. I can't tell you what's inside. And now they're having a blast. He's going for the pod. In outer space. That's the creeps!
You've been floating around in that pod for over half a century. The killer hairballs have relocated. I got him! Congratulations, Charlie. You have just murdered the ship. Get another ship. See you! have a new place to play. What are these? Those are eggs. They've been busy. They're dining from an all-new menu of cosmic cuisine. You know those man-eating hairballs? that you do not believe in they are real close but they'd rather eat on earth
I propose that we just hole up here and wait for them to come rescue us. Our company! Hey! Where are the eggs? You do not come in here with your goddamn... Stormtroopers, someone must cooperate. Did I hear you wanted these? Yikes. Critters 4 Made in your space. Asshole. We start this movie off and it's like... I guess you're on Earth. There's no indicator that you're on Earth. Well, you had to have seen the...
previous movie, which they filmed back to back. The same fucking time. We did it. Oh no, they shot these same movies. Simultaneously. Three and four were shot together. The beginning of this is pretty much how the last one ended, apparently. what so that's that that's why we should know that hey we're on earth so we'll go back and we'll we'll find out we'll fix this i don't want to this is
As a completist, this is what I'm worried about. If I don't understand what's going on in Critters 4 because I didn't watch Critters 3, then I'm fucking up. I'm doing it wrong. I know. We did it wrong. You understand. He's looking for eggs. But I don't like Charlie. I never liked Charlie. Charlie is the worst character in all the movies. He's only in it because he wrote him.
He didn't even write them. He only wrote additional scenes in that first movie. But he's always, it's like, he is the legacy of that movie. He was the highest paid actor in this movie. Highest billed, highest paid. Can we talk about this cast? Really? He was paid more than Brad Dourif? Yeah. And I'm not even trying to say the
human goddess's name that appears in this hunk of cat shit. I told you. Un-fucking-believable. You told me there was like an Oscar winner and I'm like, okay, I don't want to know. I don't want to know. And then I saw it pop up on the screen like, The fuck? The fuck she is? Angela Bassett. Angela Bassett's up in this motherfucker. Who just a year later, I believe, became an Oscar nominee and maybe winner? I mean, Brad Durst is a nominee already at this point. Wait, so this is 1992.
Oh, it's 1992. Yeah. Why do you think it was six? Yeah, it's two. Okay, it's 1992. So, yes. 1990... I thought it was six as well. Because we're thinking Leprechaun and Hellraiser Space. Those are both 96. Yeah, those are 96. So... In 1993, she was nominated for an Academy Award for What's Love Got to Do With It when she played Tina Turner, and she won the Golden Globe for it. Yeah. But Brad Turf's an Oscar nominee already. Right. For Cuckoo's Guide.
I don't understand. That's some fucking straight up... He needed to work, clearly. I don't know what the fuck he's doing. And also just some straight nepotism shit where it's like, well, this is Charlie. He's now a legacy character. This is the fourth film he's going to be in. We've got to pay him. What the... And who knows what they're paying these people. I mean, he might have been getting paid...
$5,000 and maybe Angela Bassett got three. Was this a favorite? Like, was Brad Dourif like, all right, I'll do this movie for you, but you got to put me in Lord of the Rings. But the weird thing is it's like Brad Dourif is such an amazing character actor. And he does not even get close to turning it on in this movie. He turns nothing on. But he still... He's still great. I love listening to him. He looks good on screen. Sure. Angela Bassett and Brad Griff are still wonderful.
Yeah, they're amazing. No matter how horrible the movie looks and how bad the dialogue is, they're still great. Yeah. For sure. Somehow. Yeah. It seems like they're not trying, but they're still wonderful. They can't save it, but it's great to watch them. And fucking... Like, this same year she made Malcolm X. Yeah. Are you fucking kidding me? It's amazing how quickly a career can turn. Well, also... sleazy like nude scene the shower scene in this you know she's like
silhouetted, but she's almost naked. She is naked, basically. I thought it was a body double. Was that really her? Oh, it might have been a body double. I don't know. I just assumed it was. I feel like they couldn't afford a body double for this movie. You know what? You're probably right.
They only afforded two critters. They can only get two critters. Two fucking critters. It's critters four. At least give me four, motherfuckers. That's what I said to my kid. Give me four. He's like, what are you watching? I'm like, critters four. I'm always, there's four critters in this thing. It ended up with like.
A multiple critters scenario at the end. In their lab. Just at the very end. It was like basically two and they just like did a pan. Maybe three, yeah. They're like the Chiodas brothers running around popping their hands up with puppets. Yeah, they just like swing the camera around and like, oh, they just reuse the same ones and we'll swing it the other way and like.
How come they're all bald on top? Every crew of three has a bald guy. Well, I love that you have two, so you have to differentiate them by shaving one's head. Why? Who cares? Well, that played well in part two, though, Jeff. Do we really need to know the difference between two critters who don't speak English and don't actually aren't really in the movie at all? Is there going to be any critters in this critters movie? If you're going to blow two seconds. Yeah, like blowing a movie like...
It's called fucking critters. Give me fucking critters. I hate it so much. Get me the critters. The second one, we had so many critters that it made a fucking 10-foot ball. Yeah. And then in part four, you're going to give me two that are barely on screen? We literally start the movie off for a second, and there's some eggs.
Then 40 minutes later, we finally get a fucking crate. Yeah. 40. And then an hour, like 13 minutes in, we finally get a death of one critter. Right. And so then you're down to one. But then they've been laying eggs this whole time. And they're like mutating each other in that lab. Oh, Jesus Christ. And when did it become a thing? I guess I missed three. So maybe I don't know. But when did it become a thing? The answer is three, Jeff. We'll see what it all happened in three.
He's like, oh, yeah, they laid eggs, but don't worry. It takes six months for them to mature and hatch. Right. Six months? The first movie, they were laying eggs all over the place and they were flooded with these motherfuckers. Six months, when since when? I think you meant six minutes. that dude is simple that dude doesn't know a thing he doesn't know anything oh my god you're right that's okay that does explain he doesn't know what time is that dude should not ever have a gun
He is the single stupidest. Let alone a space gun. No space gun, no firing guns in the spaceship, you fucking dunce. And you give him six bullets and a fucking revolver and he spins them all and only hits one fucking critter and then destroys the shit. Fucking imbecile. He got the critter. But, I mean... How did they expect that? Well, he like put those eggs in that little, I don't know, fucking pill.
It looks like a fucking masturbator toy you buy at the fucking store. So this giant masturbator, like put the eggs inside so we can shoot them off in a space and collect these things. Yeah.
completely crawl in there like what what is this horrible fucking design i i said i said to my wife i'm like she was walking by and i'm like let me get so you get stuck in the fucking masturbator the smoke comes and i'm like but yeah who designed this motherfucker yeah and they're like perfectly sized just for these eggs like you don't put anything else in here
You said it's a full-blown human and two eggs? I think Critters, the Critters version of what space travel's like, this is 2045. So this is like... 20 years from this year. That dude's calendar is also different. It's like 300 years later. in the beginning like it's 2045 and then cut to a kid and he's like oh i want to see my dad and he's like counting down the days on the calendar it says like 2345
What the fuck? Nobody knew. The director, the fucking editor. 2345. No, that's fine. I didn't mean to interrupt you. I just jumped in the gun. If that's 2345, you think he's only still wearing a pink t-shirt and jeans? Never goes out of style. Cowboy boots? Never goes out of style. Did you see the... sandals on at the beginning? What? They show his foot. The first thing they show of Charlie, you see his foot, and there's toes.
Through his boot. Those were the critters, dude. His boot has got a hole in the end of it. Yeah. And they showed it later, too. Those were the critters, Doc. But they're, like, all exposed. Like, it wasn't even... I bet in three, yeah, he gets his shoe bitten off. There you go. Any... uh discrepancies we might have we just have to defer to three now you know we should just do let's hit pause let's go watch three and come back as we know could you imagine if this is that bad how good
Three's going to be better. Three's going to be better. You know there's going to be way more fucking critters. It's got DiCaprio. I'm telling you, I bet also... Okay, let's say there is... You know, this one has Angela Bassett, too. Let's say there is more critters in part three, and they film these back-to-back. Why not use those same critters?
Because you're going to have somebody work those critters. What? You're going to have somebody work them. That's going to cost money. Take someone's hand. Get the director out there. Get him on his hands and knees. Put his hands on a fucking crate. At one point, they're watching a video. of the science department on the ship. And there's a woman there who's saying, oh, here's a creature we...
artificially matured quickly. What kind of rubber spider were they wiggling? What the hell was that? It was just like, booga, booga, booga, booga, booga. There's no mouth. There's no any moving parts. Just a floppy hand in a thing. Clearly someone's back there going like... with a stick one. It just looks like a Boglin. It looks so bad. It's a full eight-legged Boglin. Dude. What did they need that for? They needed to reproduce Y? Oh yeah, the most deadly species.
Let's reproduce the most deadly species in the universe on our ship. And the next thing you know, no one's around. Yeah. But I love that she's explaining the fact that they need a fast replicating species that's highly aggressive to be able to do this. And there's a crite watching through the fucking grate. Oh, mm-hmm. Writing notes down. Uh-huh. Got it. And later on uses that information. Yeah. So you can understand English. Yeah. Just fine.
Well, firstly, also, just born on The Masturbator moments ago. Yep. like two hours later, is scheduling, is directing the ship to planet Earth with computers. I guess it's just in the DNA. Super smart. Smart aliens, yeah. That's why they're so dangerous. Is that why they're so dangerous? They're just like those velociraptors, man. They're smart.
I still love them rolling around like a little fucking triple nonsense. When I see a critter, I love a critter. I mean, this seems like right up your alley. a bunch of rolling balls and random celebrities in these movies. You love this. I do. You love this. Celebrity bowling in space. This is what I like. This is my genre.
You're right. I'd rather watch that celebrity bowling. This fucking sucked. I was like, okay, here it is. You guys got, you're doing Critters 4. Yeah, it might be really budget, but the one thing I'm going to get is I'm going to get Critters.
It's space. You wish I got way more space than I got critters. And then for some reason, whenever I don't understand like these space movies where I'm seeing like a theme now too, where they're like, Worried more about the human story and interactions and drama. And also the fucking sets. Do you know how much money they probably spent on that fucking laboratory? set with all the specimens and everything and even the weird fucking candy shop the fucking pharmacy
I'm like, there's some fucking Red Hots. There's some Boston Baked Beans. So you all recognize that guy. Oh, yeah. It's the Jelly Belly factory. Seriously. I was like, I've seen this guy looking just like this with that dumb smile on his face.
endless hours of my life and I couldn't put it together. The dude with the brony tail? Yeah. Twin Peaks. Twin Peaks. Oh, Twin Peaks. He's the big asshole. He's the big asshole in Twin Peaks. One of the big assholes. He brings out over to this too. He only can be a big asshole.
He's not that bad of a guy in this one. He's actually... Is he? He is, though. Well, the only reason is because he wants them drugs. Everything else, he's actually fine. Was there any explanation about why he wanted them drugs? No. He was a party dog. Is there any way to know what drugs what? I know he was mixing up. This is just laxative.
This is a pharmacy. It was a bunch of colored, I mean, it was literally like pixie stick jugs everywhere. Filled with pills with no labels and just dumping them in a backpack. And he's like, I'll sort it out later. I'll sort it out later. How? Yeah. How will you? Try this one out. But ever since he heard the word pharmacy, he's been like, hmm? Pharmacy, huh? That's the only thing on his mind. All he cares about. But other than that, it's not like he's a dastardly guy. The captain is.
So much worse. I don't know. He would, like, just grab fools for no reason. Who are you? Who are you? Like, whoa, tiger. Oh, this is a ponytail? Yeah. Oh, I don't. And he grabbed fucking Charlie. He's like, for no reason. Is there a full marching band outside? I watched him walk by earlier. It was like a bunch of like ponytail men.
Here they are. Ruining our episode. Thank you. Thanks a lot. Hope it's fucking worth it. There's nobody out there. I know. When they pass around, I'm like, what is this? What are we doing? What is this for? Why? Thank you. Oh, great. Here they come. They're playing to nobody, though. Not playing to us, Jeff. Oh, fuck me.
Brad, see you're going to have to win on Scream, Adam, like an old man. Sounds like the music at the end of the movie we watched. It reminded me, like, you've never seen it, so I didn't make the reference to you, but I was like, it's kind of like an I'm going to get you second. Who are these guys? My theme music. He walks on the street with a baby. This is our new theme song for Midnight. Some of that. Football game. It's some of that. New Orleans, Dixieland. We're going to set my alarm off.
Your horn. You know, I can get behind it. Do you know why? Because I love live music. I don't care what it is. I love live music. I just love it. If I'm in a situation where I'm at a cafe, I just want a live band to start playing right by my head. You just want a horn honking right next to your ear. I want, you know, I'll tell you what I'm like. But I just want to pay $200 for it. That's all. Is that so bad? You know what? I'd tell you what.
I would rather pay $200 to see a show I intended to see. Then try to go somewhere to eat and have a rock band playing. Then try to go have a drink and have a blues band playing. I would rather... I'd just rather not. It's like, I'm trying to talk over here. Can we not, please? We are live musicians who play in live bands, but I'm not.
I don't like free music. I don't like music during the day. I don't like free music. I don't like kids dancing. I don't like any of that stupid shit. Fuck off, baby. It's dark. I have a caveat. I have a caveat, though. If I'm in a Mexican restaurant and there's a mariachi band playing...
Yeah, I'll take it. I'll take it fully. I'm sorry. Yeah. Everything I said goes out the window if it's mariachi. Yeah. If I got salsa and chips, it's all out the window. I'm down. I'm fine with that too. I don't know why. I dig that. Oh, I'm fully down. I'd rather have live band playing mariachi in my face.
Than a fucking blues band. Than not. But I would rather not ever have a live band playing when I don't expect it. Oh, yeah. When you're like, I'm going to eat. Oh, motherfucker. Then you got guys who are like, I love live music. I'm just going to go up there and just fucking hippie dance. I'll tell you what Fuck off with your live free music. Do we just get...
so ancient as all of a sudden. This movie took forever to watch. I know, but did we age like four years watching this movie? This might be 2045 right now. Holy shit. Every time I stopped the movie, I was like, oh, I still have 30 minutes left. I've been watching this for four fucking years. There's still 30 minutes left.
This thing is so long. It's insane. I was watching it. It's an endless fucking hallway loop. I was like, I'll just watch it because it's, I'll watch it right now because it's an hour and 27 minutes long. You wish. Three hours later. What happened? That's what I know, right? I feel like I wash it all day. That's what I'm saying. It took forever. There's so much unnecessary bullshit. With people pushing knobs and talking about space and talking about just stuff. What about this AI computer that...
bit. Is that supposed to be comedy? Are they writing comedy? Was that the glitch? Is there a glitch that's happening or is it programmed that way? I think it's a glitch. The glitch with the AI computer is that
It doesn't do what you ask. It only does the opposite of what you ask. But that's supposed to be their attempt at comedy, correct? Because it goes the whole movie. Is it funny? So much so that the guy at the end who's like... already seen his homeboy get blasted and it's just like desperately trying to like play opposite day with the fucking AI computer to get it to like work in his advantage.
I wanted to bang my head against a fucking wall watching this dude in a fucking elevator scene. Shut the fuck up. fuck up with this you know what there's such a it's got the thing that we love so much where everyone's angry and shitty oh yeah it's my favorite kind of writing where just everyone's an asshole doing irrational shit to move the plot along sure are we to believe These people, these, Brad Dourif, who's a gentle, sweet man. Angela Bassett, who is an intelligent person.
And everyone, even shitty fucking fake Scott Grimes, Ethan, that dickhead who has never had anything else in his whole life after this piece of shit. They just sealed him up in a coffin. Yeah. I think he shot him off into space. Hell yeah. Even that dickhead. They're on a fucking spaceship with this. insane captain for years? Yeah, right? What? How did they not...
Eject his ass and put Angela in charge. She seems level-headed and smart. Mutiny on day one. Kill him. Kill him. That guy is a fucking huge liability. Absolute wretched person. and then the blasting of the ship as soon as they find it. It doesn't make any sense why I hate these characters. I'm an asshole. I'm going to do the opposite thing of what any logical person would ever do. And I'm supposed to be some kind of scientist. Abusing your authority. Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck?
I hate this shit. It's so inferior. It's like just spanks of bad writing and just like amateur hour. Just because we just got here doesn't mean that y'all just got here. Yeah, right. You've been in space with this guy for a year and this one very day.
Is the day that it all goes wrong and Angela Bassett has to sock him? I thought it was interesting. Like, it didn't really, like, premise the fact. What is that? I'm sorry. Go ahead. No, no. They didn't really, like, illustrate the fact that he had been frozen in space for that long. So when they get him, I was like, oh, it's been like a day. And I'm like, how the fuck are all these people, how are these humans been chilling in space with all this technology and stuff?
And the only way I was able to like, oh, yeah, it was because unless did I miss something? Did I fall asleep? Was there some illustration or something like this? I think the smoke when when Charlie puts the eggs in, he's frozen for 50 years, whatever. And then lobs his ass through space like this. That's only 50 years for us to establish a whole...
situation where we're out past Saturn or wherever the fuck we are. We're like, we have our own, we have our own vehicles. These aren't a government. This isn't a government spaceship. This is the, I just, this is mine. I bought this. I'm paying it off at fucking installments. And we already, we're as established with some kind of connection with other, uh, Life forces outside and they have like some other government.
that we know about. All that happened in 50 years from whatever date the third movie took place. And he doesn't find out until being on the ship forever that it's the future. Yeah. Well, Charlie also, again, he's very simple. Yeah. Have we not forgotten that he is the stupidest person on Earth? And now he's definitely the stupidest person in space.
What a dickhead. I mean, it's funny when the critters are smarter than that dude. Oh, yeah. They know how to type and speak English and understand science. And not shoot firearms into the hull of a ship. And not the electronics. I think the critter was actually like... Over here by the controls. Yeah. Now shoot. Yeah. It's such a bummer though. Like we're, we're on the fourth movie. Like. People are only turning up because they want to see a fucking furry piece of rubber.
Rolling around by people. That's the only reason anyone's coming to this thing. We're not coming to this for the human stories. We're not coming for this for the fucking space. We're not coming for this for anything else. We are coming. For the topless bounty hunters occasionally. Yeah, but those guys, they left us back in two. I know, should we have them faceless booger heads? Where are all the aliens at? Not one booger headed. I thought booger head was going to be what...
And Ugg ended up, like, because he was such an asshole and he had changed so much in 50 years, I guess. Except his face. He kept the same face. Well, I figured that he was just like, he melded in to look like Ugg and then he was actually going to be a booger face. originally they're all booger faces yeah he's
Except for Charlie. He's an actual human. Right. I thought Lee was the only booger face, but no, they're all booger faces. They're all booger face aliens. And he chose Tim Curry's face, and then he just kept it forever. And it went slightly askew, and it was a blurry curry. Yeah. He's a booger face. He's a booger face. But like, why is he posing? Is he not a booger face?
There's no rhyme or reason to why he changed. Because I think he was still kind of nice in the previous movie. But for some reason, in 50 years, he completely changed and became a tip. Because originally, in the first movie, he's an asshole. Kinda. He's there to do his job. He's all business. He's all business. But he's like, call me when you want me, kid. Little Scott Grimes. And he befriended Charlie and brought him on as another bounty hunter. Right, right. He freed those
Poor earthlings of their idiot friend, Charlie. He's not a dick. Yeah, he's a saint. Yeah, he's actually... Did me a... Yeah. I'd take him up there with you. Was he, was he just mad because he's like, God damn it. I thought he lost this fucking guy. Right. Here he is. 50 years later, he looks the same. I got it. Now he's in the rest of his life. To him. It is the next day.
Yeah, but not to fucking booger face is like, I've been 50 years free of this fucking idiot. And here he is, freshest day, not even feeble. He turns up like, what? Yeah, what the fuck? Hey, you're my friend. He's like, oh. We stopped being friends years ago. Yeah, I've forgotten you. Jesus. It took until 25 years ago, but I was happy when I noticed I hadn't heard your dumb voice in my head. I've seen them buck teeth.
Chomping at me. That guy. I cannot believe he's the through line in all these movies. Why? We didn't like him in the first movie. Why is he here in the fourth movie? I mean, he has to have some attachment to his people. Give me more of the Power of the Night bullshit. Give me another music video like that. Jesus, yeah. Give me more of that good stuff.
Your value has gone away without the rock star part of it. Well, and he's in this movie for 10 minutes, maybe. Cuts his hair short. He's in it more than the critters are. That's for sure. I know, and that's insane. The movie's called Critters, and we have more Terrence Mann? What? I mean, I'm here for Terrence Mann. Oh, Terrence Mann's fine, but we better be in the third one. Give him some critter hair, at least, and let him flow around.
It's so... I don't know, man. I just... I can't believe that you... Like, if we were... Like, if somebody came to us right now and was like, here's $100,000. Make a Critters movie. We're not going to sit there and fucking fumble around and be like, oh, well, this is a story about these humans. Oh, what are they going to do in space? Oh, they're going to peep on a woman showering.
Rec room that's like, but we have a shower right next to the window. She bips the captain in the face and she comes out and laughing. But by the way, you're all there leering. Every man in the ship is there in the room. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't understand. Did you purposely make a bad movie? They're all kind of bad, but this is purposely not even a good Critters movie. It's kind of insultingly bad, though. Okay, you're trying to do Aliens already again? Why? Right. Okay.
Why? You're going to do it with Sans? any aliens. Yeah, exactly. There's not even like the weirdo aliens that we saw in the beginning of part one, you know, the one that like set the bounty hunters like that person was fucking cool. Weird booger heads were cool. Was that Mick Garris's wife? Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, bring that person back. I know. Even if it's the same footage. And at the very least, have critters in your fucking critter movie. Yes.
More than two. This is unacceptable to have two just pop out of vents every once in a while for two seconds. And I feel like the Chiodas brothers know that. That's why I think that three might be better just because I think there might be more critters. I could be wrong. I think you're right about that, but how could they not reuse the same ones? If you made four puppets,
Bring them to the next movie. You're doing it simultaneously. I think that maybe this didn't get paid. So they're like, well, fuck it. We're bringing two. You might be right. They might just be like, well, fuck these guys. We put most of our money to this. These guys are putting most of their money into Boston baked beans and fucking Skittles. For this fucking sugar room. I'm looking at the director's filmography and it says he directed...
He's only produced Pump Up the Volume. It's all direct-to-video bullshit, isn't it? He was the accountant on Forbidden World. Watch out. Top notch. But there's... He's a producer on all kinds of things. He says he directed this, but he's not even given credit for... There's no director title. It's like...
Well, good, because he sucks. No one wants credit for this. Rupert Harvey, yeah, he should have Alan Smithied this thing. Are all these going to be Alan Smithies? I think so. He couldn't know because he actually wasn't taken away from him. He's like... The Screen Actors Guild or the Directors Guild was like, fuck you. No, you have to take it. No, you definitely directed this whole thing. Put your dumb name on this. It's your fault. What the fuck?
I just want more space. I'm tired of being... It's so claustrophobic, these movies. It's all entirely hallways and tiny little rooms. I hate that. I want to see someone shooting around in space a little bit. Do a spacewalk. I want the movie Gravity, but we're fucking Jason in it. In space, all rolling around. Just flying around, shooting their little fucking things. They couldn't even shoot in this one. Bullshit.
No. It's bullshit. This is the first movie that I'm able to shoot their poisonous darts. At least we did have a cool shot of the ball rolling and the camera following behind it. That was sick. There was a few shots that were kind of sick. I'll give them that. And a bald little fucking baby one.
A little bald baby one was kind of cute. I like a bald, wet baby one. It was literally just a guy with two fingers up a fucking thing. Totally a little finger. Mouth, mouth, pinch, pinch. We did get a juggling scene with the eggs. That was real exciting. That was so good. Remember how they showed us how you could juggle in the beginning? Wasn't that great? With his like yippee-ki-yay gun tucked in his back. Totally diehard gun. Oh my god. Diehard gun. What else did they steal from? Cowboy boot.
Are they still watching westerns? There's a fucking Star Wars trash compactor type scene. They even say stormtroopers. They say stormtroopers. Straight up though, when they shot into that trash compactor, I was like, oh, we're here at Star Wars. So bad. Straight up. Fucking dumb. Dill walked in at one point and goes, oh, so it's just worse aliens. And I was like, yeah, you haven't even seen those movies. That's it. That's 100%. It is trying to be worse aliens. Yeah. Yeah.
With the ship about to blow up, it's self-destructing with the nuclear core is compromised. You have 10 seconds or whatever. Tell me, that's all going down. Fucking little young dipshit just goes wandering back through the hallways for no reason. And you're just looking around waiting for a fucking crate to bite him. What is he trying to do?
He didn't have a purpose. You're just like, hmm, walking around. I'm like, what? Yeah. Bite him. That's the thing. This is so insulting to everyone's intelligence because like every, like the kid is falling around Charlie and Charlie just.
Got off the ship. He knows all about critters. He's an expert critter killer. If he knows anything and he doesn't know much of anything. And you're with another person. The kid is like, what are we even looking for? What do these things look like? He's like, well, hmm. It's a fish, right? Yeah, it doesn't look like that. That's as much of a clue as he gave. Yeah. Also, the eggs take six months. No, they don't. They take two hours. They take a few minutes, Charlie, but that's fine.
You're feeble-minded. It's fine. Was this kid born on a space station? He's never been back to Earth? What's his deal? Yeah, I don't know. Does he know what a piranha is? What was the 20 days till he was supposed to go back to Earth for the first time? Why was he crossing off months? None of it makes any sense. I like his room, though. It was like, oh, holy shit, though. What?
Here's the big flaw. Okay. Brace yourself, Josh. You guys ready? Yeah. This is going to make you think it's up until now. The movie was made in 1992, right? Okay. Okay. Because of the budgeting, every costume piece is going to be from actually from 1992, right? So it couldn't be around in 50 plus years when it's the future in space for somebody who's never been to Earth, right? Theoretically. Theoretically. Homeboy's wearing...
1992 Airwalk NTS skate shoes that I used to have a pair of. Had to pause that shit. Man, cancel this movie. Yeah, this thing. Unrealistic. NTS, by the way, stands for not the same. futuristic looking shoes future shoes wow such garbage oh my god wow you gotta show them to us pretty sick those are future shoes future shoes yeah even for 99 too that was future yeah i see it Okay. I had green ones. I saw the green ones in there.
That's how I knew the movie was bullshit. Do you guys ever have those future shoes? Don't they like lit up? were those shoes that like lit up when you fucking walked a little like fucking I think my kid had some of that at one point that makes sense because I was like 10 years younger than you guys that was like the future shoes to me I didn't have no light up shoes no you guys are missing out
But I was also too old to have those, like, shoes with the wheels. Now, that's future. Helios. Yeah, that was after my time, too. That's some cool shit. But I did have, like, the kangaroos with a little, like, quarter pocket. What about the Jordans when you pumped them with air? I had some of those. Did you want to give them those? Those little pumps.
I feel like if I had those shoes with the wheels on them, that's why they're only for kids who are light enough to like fucking just float around with them. Because if I had one of those, I would fall backwards so fast and my head would be a fucking... Kite egg opened up with green green coming out of it. Split my head wide open at the airport.
I love to imagine you trying to hurry to your gate. Hurry, hurry, hurry. I'm picturing the airport right where it goes down, right into the next level, right by the fucking, this nachos stand there. Some guy, and you're like, oh, someone's like, oh, dude, that guy's got wheels on his feet. What? That dude's fucking gliding. Dead. Seizure, seizure, dead. This looks straight up. That guy was cool. Yeah, he was cool until his whole brain fell out. Oh, God.
Fucking hell. Yeah, I just don't understand the thought process of making... How do you fuck up a franchise like this so badly? And it's like the most basic concept, too. You just need these little hand puppets. You need more than a couple, actually. You need more than a couple, and you're good. Yeah, every time you show it, you just got to be close to a great...
Because that's where your arm's coming out of. How many times they pop out of a fucking vent in this movie. They love ducks. Look out for the ducks. The Chiodas brothers love ducks because that's where they can hide. Fuck, dude. this movie is it was painful to watch it was so fucking boring so dumb that's the thing it was like we're in space we're in the future like let's fuck things up let's do some crazy shit but we can't we got money to do anything
We have one hallway. We're going to keep shooting this one hallway. Even if you are in space, And when they're asking each other questions, just have them ask logical questions. No. And give themselves semi-logical answers, and it wouldn't be as dull as it was. That'd be hard, though. That would take work, Josh.
If someone asks you a question because they don't know what they're doing and you're in dire straits, like on a spaceship with a nuclear core exploding, plus there's killer monsters, plus your ship has exploded, give them an answer. Have them help. Like, even Angela Bassett couldn't give a good line. No, it's like, maybe band together for these last five minutes of your life. Just work together. Be nice.
Backwoods music where they're playing on the way out of the spaceship. I don't want you to skip right to the end, but I was watching the last 10 minutes of this with Sarah. She was like, is this movie over yet? I was trying to... Like wait till you were done before I came out of the bedroom, but I'm not, it's taking too long. And then I'm like, she's like listening to space, listening to critters in space, listening to all these things happening in space, laser guns.
And then here's... Well, that whole scene where... What the fuck was that? Charlie gets into the driver's seat and fucking hits that red button and the thing starts spinning out of fucking control and then you start hearing... Yeah, wait One job, not touch anything The last thing Academy Award winning Angela Bassett Says to Charlie before she leaves the spaceship Why did you leave that
dunce alone in the fucking cockpit. Well, he has more experience flying that shit than anyone. Yeah, technically, I was like, oh, this guy can, he's got this. In the second movie, he fucking flew one of these into a crate bowl. You know what he's got? hands full of shit saying, look what I almost stepped in. That's Charlie. She says, whatever you do, don't touch anything. He's like,
She's gone for 10 seconds, and he sits down and pushes the big red button. The big red button. Like a fucking dipshit. You fucking fuckwit. But then, like, that's supposed to be, like... Like, everything's fine? What, wacky? Now they're going off his ass over tea kettle. Yo, don't ever forget. Charlie's from the country. I'm from Grover's dick or whatever it's from. Blue and fuzzy.
Also, why would there be a red button that just makes the thing fucking spin out of control? I hit the ass over T-Kill. Oh, no. Charlie, you long hair. Like when they show that fucking masturbator flying through space for 50 years, it's like going like ass over. And it's like,
Nothing flies like that. Well, that's the only reason he's like, I'm starting to feel queasy up on this spaceship. For the last 55 years, I've been going ass over tea kettle. The only way I can calm my tummy is butt gong. Oh, here we go. I feel good. I hated this movie. I like Critters movies. I know. Dude, Critters Run is a classic. And Critters 2, I think, is a ton of fun. We get a ball. I love Critters 2. We get a million fucking Critters.
The first two were hella fun, dude. Hella fun. Hella fucking big tittied Kripe fighter. They're very fun movies. I'll watch three, even though it was made the same time this was made. By the same people? I think they ran out of money. Every movie got cheap. They made both these movies, three and four, for the same...
less than the first movie cost yeah see so both movies the price of the first movie yeah that's insane i think you're cutting corners especially with inflation we're talking 10 years later like or eight years later whatever yeah like it's something's wrong but again like Who the fuck thought it would be a good idea for this random, like...
That dude, like, yeah, he's directed some stuff, but for the most part, he's a producer. Yeah. Like, don't put that guy in the fucking saddle. I think he was a last minute fill-in. He was like, someone's got to direct this thing. It's ass over tea kettling into space right now.
Let fucking Charlie Cobb or whatever his fucking name, Charlie Copper, Opper, fucking... Ben Opper or Keith Opper? Don Keith Opper. Like, let him fucking do it. Speaking of fucking names, like, did you see what the name was of a... Brad Drove's character? Albert. Albert. Albert. Not Albert. His name's Al-bert. It's Al-fred-bert. Fucking so dumb. And his other friend is Albert Fred.
So we're doing a whole month of these in space movies. Um, what, Why do you think this was such a thing for a hot minute in the 90s? What was the fascination with throwing all these franchises into space? Well, Aliens was what? 1989 or something? 88? No, 87, probably. Aliens? Aliens, yeah. Oh, Aliens, the James Cameron one. The second one, yeah. That was 89? I think it was 86.
Really? It's got to be earlier than 89. Jesus Christ. It was not close to the 90s. But still, pretty, you know. I mean, it's four years from the 90s. Yeah, I guess by the time. And it was such a fucking... I feel like that's mid-80s to me. Okay. But it is such a fucking powerhouse. That, like, people were just trying to figure out how to get those kind of fucking...
So this was the ripple effect from aliens being such a huge success. It has to be, right? I would say so. Yeah, fuck it. Outer spaces were to be... They made so many... 1992 is fully in space, right? But the 80s were the ultimate... like Star Wars kicked it off. There was a lot of, there was like, you know, Flash Gordon and all that, like fucking Battlestar and all that shit. Star Wars, yeah. Star Wars kicked it off and was like, in space, gotta go to space. Space is the place to be.
And maybe it's because it's cheaper. We can just do, you know, you make one room and then one hallway and you just keep. reusing that shit forever and ever and ever. We'll go through the top. We're going to go down a floor and then we're going to go down into the same room and then the same room and three, four times. Yeah. And you don't have to film outside. You don't have to do any of these things. It's just like cheap.
And it was really like where they were reusing, and this was across the board. This wasn't just this specific movie. All these fucking space movies, save fucking aliens and probably Star Wars and some of that shit, they were just reusing the same fucking shit. In some fucking warehouse. They're like, oh, we got a fucking hallway over here. We got a fucking cargo bay. We'll cover it in steam. So no one will know. Wet steam everywhere. Space is just a fart.
Space is a toilet. It's just a big wet toilet part. It's a Taiwan sewer. Steamy. There's always chains hanging everywhere, too. I guess that's why it would make sense for Hellraiser, but this movie? What are we doing? Where's the Cenobites at?
Yeah, there was more gore in this than there kind of was in fucking when homie gets a critter in his mouth. I know, right? That was weird. It looked like it reminded me of that kind of the makeup from, what is it? Nightmare 4? 5. 5 where she's eating? Greta, yeah. Yeah.
It looked very similar to me. What was that? That was a weird scene. Because they don't do that normally. They didn't do that in your mouth. Jumping in your mouth would go straight for the mouth. No, straight for your mouth. I did kind of like watching his little feet wiggle, though. That was fucking funny. I like seeing the guy die because I wanted him to die. Yeah, he fucking sucked. But, like, he should have just been eaten from the outside.
That would be better. That's more expensive. There's not the budget for that. I was fine with it. For a PG-13 movie, that was pretty gnarly. Fuck, PG-13. They both are. Both 3 and 4. Fuck. Are the rest of the Critters? So Critters 3 is 1991. It says at least that one is released. It's on Earth.
I like that. Let's come back to Earth. Can we stop this? Can we stop this spaceship? Can we stop the month? I feel sick all of a sudden for the next three weeks. But I'm seeing a theme. There is very little... of the thing you want to see. Right. There's a lot of the thing you don't want to see. Yeah. And space is just somebody else's old space. Recycled air. Yeah. And Jason X, you get a lot of Jason.
That's true. You get more of him than you get of any of these other people in any of these other movies. Dude, that's such a bad-looking Jason, though. That's such the worst-looking Jason. Man, I see. I don't agree. You don't see it that way? No, I don't agree. I think he looks fucking horrible, but I...
I think there's a couple other Jasons I hate worse. Really? Yeah. Okay, well, let's save that for that episode. Yeah, we'll save for that one. Because we got some debating to do. Yeah, and we got Leprechaun next week. There might be more Leprechaun than all of these fools, but I don't know. You know who's in Trick Critters 3?
What's up? Scott Grimes. Yeah. Yeah. And his dad, Billy Greenbush. Sounds great. Sounds like we should watch that movie. Dee Wallace is in Critters 3. What are we doing in space? We'll go back. Like I said, we'll go back. We got Oscar winners and nominees, dude. What in the fuck? It's so good. Billy Zane is back in Critters 3. Am I looking at the right movie? That's got to be fucking footage from the first movie.
That's all this must be. Recycling. There's no way. None of those fools are actually in Critter Street. There's no fucking way. When you put it that way. Yeah. No. Strangely enough, you know what other movie Ponytail Twin Peaks guy was in? What? Silent Night, Deadly Night 3. But he was in there. Ponytail guy. Angry ponytail man. Angry ponytail man one. Choking out somebody for living.
That guy's the worst. I hate him in Twin Peaks so much. Yeah, he's the worst. I hate him in this, too. I hated him and that captain so much. Captain is... He's in one of those subspecies movies that we want to do, though. Oh, really? He's like the guy. Really? He's in a couple of them. He's like the vampire guy. What? Rondu or whatever? I've never seen him, so I don't know. Rondu? Fondue, the vampire. What the fuck? I think his name's something like that.
What's his name? I think he did without any makeup too. He just looks that rough. I'll put these fangs in. We'll call it a day. That's the thing. I think he's a cool looking guy. Homies from fucking Radu. R-A-D-U. Radu. Radu. Angus Scrimm is a spicy radu. That's sick, really? See? And Anders Hove. The Greenlandian fucking demon, who played the captain in this movie, is...
In the sub-season movies, at least in a few of them. No, he plays Ron New. Yeah, he plays the guy. He plays the main vampire. In all of them? I think that's, yeah. He's the Robert Englund of the franchise. Oh, see? Hey, please. Rod do just a matter of time. It's going to be good. Yeah. Yeah. Which, why didn't we find the subspecies space movie? Is there one? I don't know. Jesus. I was like, is it transfers movie? Do they go to space at some point?
No, time. Time. What was that? That was me scanning my files really quickly. No. I thought we lost him for a second. He flatlined. I'm back, baby. That was amazing. That was amazing. Our answer is time, not space. But who knows? I've only seen one. I think time is space, Josh. Ooh, what? Yeah. Wait, what? We lost him. Clear. We gotta do some subspecies at some point. Or at least one. Let's just do it. Let's do one. We can commit to one. See how it goes.
We'll see how Chuck Band handles a vampire flick. I hear it's slow, but no, it's not Chuck Band. Is it not Chuck Band? It's not Full Moon. It might be Full Moon or Empire, but it's the guy. It's written by Charles Band. Ted Nicklaus. He directs it. Ted Nicklaus, but like. Story bye. Yeah, but that's what he said about fucking bad channels, and we know that Ted Nicholos wrote that one, too. Are you able just to go on IMDb, like, Wikipedia, and just, like...
add your stuff. So he's just going into all these movies and be like, I had that idea. Written by Charles Band. Yeah, intern, go ahead and change everything that Ted Nicklaus did to based on a story by Charles Band. Poor Ted Nicklaus. Don't talk in front of Charlie anymore. Yeah, exactly. Steal your shit. It's like, he comes to the writer's room, what are y'all writing? What's that? Where are we at with that subspecies story you guys have been writing? Well, how about this?
You see a titty. I wrote that. You better not be riding the porno. Bernice Bass. I heard you, Chuck. If you're going to put a titty in there. Better be mine. I want to see Bernice Mann's fucking whole deal. All up and down. She might be dope. She's... Send her to space.
Chuck Dan really wishes he could. Put me in the masturbator with her. Put my eggs in that masturbator for sure. Pass over tea kettle through space with her. 50 years. It's funny because this is the one that we were debating so much about Critters 4. And it is a fucking floppy dick of a wet mess. But it qualifies. A floppy dick of a wet mess. Forever midnight. It qualifies for like
It is such a pile of shit. It really is. None of them are going to get any better, man. This is... I think this is going to be the weakest. Oh, for sure. But, like, Leprechaun is not going to be... That much better. But I think Leprechaun will be more enjoyable, there'll be more deaths, and there'll be some more fun deaths.
Because he's a prankster. Oh, he's a little rascal, isn't he? He is a little rascal. Well, you all have seen Jason X, and you know what it's like, and you still think it's going to be the best. I do. I think Hellraiser. I know it is. I said that last episode. You said Hellraiser was, but it's going to be Jason X.
We'll see. I think a Leprechaun 4 is going to blow them all out of the water. Blow hard? Blow them all out of the... stratosphere yeah i mean it has to i mean it's got work it can't be worse it's gonna have him in it so there's a leprechaun they're already they're already exceeding my expectations for critters can they afford Warwick Davis for longer than two seconds well you know I got I was letting uh today uh our good friend Siler clued me in that the one that teleports
When the leprechaun teleports into the dude... is the one, the newest one, 2018 one, that is not Ulrich Davis. But it's a continuation of the original story. So from one. David Gordon greened it. Exactly. This is the part two to the original where Jennifer Aniston's daughter is in this movie. Really? Wake up, Jeff. He died. No. So bored I died. I don't want it. Oh, God.
I mean, I don't know. It sounds like it's really gory. Even though I was so against watching a leprechaun without Warwick Davis, I do want to watch him teleport into a man. I'm sorry to hear that it happens when it wasn't Warwick Davis. Like, save it. Come on. I know, man. Give it to Warwick. Yeah, give it to Warwick. I love that dude. So what's he going to do in this bullshit? I don't know, but he better get up to some kind of space prank. He's going to hide behind some steam.
You're going to hear his little pittering footsteps on a grate. You're going to hear a lot of pitter-patter footsteps through a metal hollow ship. You're going to hear a lot like, hee-hee-hee. Yeah. Oh, he's in the duck. Of course he is. Leprechauns love ducks. He's rattling these chains. Watch out.
Why are there chains hanging off the spaceship? Don't pick up these chains. Is this for anybody to audition for the next Hellraiser? There better be a fucking laser gun scene shooting a leprechaun, right? We're in space, right? That's all we got. When you got space, you want certain things. We did get laser guns in this movie. We did. We got laser guns. Here's the thing. We got a laser gun. You better make a laser gun that only...
Well, this is dangerous, but guns are dangerous all around. So you better have a laser gun that only destroys organic material, not the whole of your spacecraft. Yeah, not the metal. It's like essentially... Drano, but in laser form. Laser Drano is the space weapon of choice. I got a clogged toilet. I got something for you. Laser Drano. Oh, dude, we got a fucking frozen crate in this one, and that reminds me of fucking Jason X. That's another similarity. That was years before Jason X.
TJ's Next was 2000, wasn't it? Yeah, something like that. What's the space obsession with a freeze and stuff? Well, that's been, I mean, because, like, I think the way that a lot of space travel theorized you had to like freeze yourself right you have to be cryogenically frozen frozen or like preserved to be able to like you know, travel long enough without, you know, having your fucking titty sag too hard. I'm trying to keep these things purred.
Yeah. I mean, I'm just... They're not in a sanctuary. There's zero gravity. They're going to be floating. Just my nipples. You guys can't see what Josh is doing with the tank right now, but it's like wonderful. It's like two of the fucking car dealership guys just going in slow-mo off my centerpiece. Or like put two glow sticks in your hands and get them into town.
You look like you're enjoying live music. I am. I'm enjoying the sound of a live blues group. But in slow-mo. Them your titties, though. Fucking play it, man. I love live music, bro. That's me. And out of your fucking flatline. Just the way I wanted to go. Live music playing. Amateur blues. Please don't revive me. I don't know. I was really looking forward to a Critters movie.
you didn't get it i didn't get it no i knew angela bassett was in this thing and i look forward to it and it's still like she is something to see always yeah she's incredible that's all there is to it Brad Dourif also but the lines are so fucking dumb I just phoned every those guys I mean that was an easy paycheck for Brad Dourif like he literally cake blocked this thing
I mean, it wasn't a very big paycheck, but hopefully he got to buy pizza. It was the easy one. And he got in the good graces of New Line. There you go. That's his end to fucking Lord of the Rings. I'm telling you. New Line did Child's Play too, right?
Years before. Was that New Line? I don't know if that was New Line. He might have been under contract. What studio produced Child's Play? United Artists. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't think it was New Line. Never mind. Delete that. We will pretend like we never have. Did you see there was like a weird trivia thing about like...
Oh, this is a new line property. And like halfway through the movie, like Charlie shows up and he's wearing Freddy Krueger sweater. I don't remember that at all. I did notice that. He has a short sleeve t-shirt on that's striped. Big red and green stripe.
Yeah, but it's not a sweater. They had a legitimate nod to Elm Street in the second one. What is this half-assed nonsense? Yeah, that's like, you're reaching. They're literally like, oh, we need a Freddy sweater in here. Ah, we got this fucking... Striped shirt. Yeah. Do we need that though? They had as much time on this? Even New Line had trouble finding a Freddy sweater. Remember how hard it was for us? He said, I had the worst...
Thinest striped sweater. Mine was just red with black fleckles all over it because I couldn't get a green and red striped one. Give me a fucking spray paint. That would have been a good idea. That would have been the move, huh? I wasn't sixth grade either. I wasn't so industrious. Yeah, me either.
But I don't know. I have high hopes for Leprechaun. What are you talking about? Jesus Christ. Don't say that. I need something to redeem it. You're so optimistic. I don't want to have to wait all the way to Jason X to redeem this thing. And we all know Event Horizon is going to be legit as fuck, so I don't need to worry about that. Yeah, that's going to be great. Yeah, but again, it's stuff you...
It's still rattling chains and leaky fucking pipes. It's still that. It's just pain. Space is pain. That is a direct quote from Hellraiser Space. It sure is, bud. i smell your space pain i have such space to show you um i hope in leprechaun because i know this is not the case in any of the other movies that the ship is full of people. Please. Give me more than four. Make it a working ship. You ever seen Star Trek?
Yeah. There's hundreds of thousands of people on the ship. Yeah. It's a city. Or even like a Death Star. You got fucking handfuls. Armies. Yeah. Every spaceship that's big like they talk about. Like the Hellraiser space, there's one guy on the ship. Right. And a robot. How are you? What if something goes wrong? Which it always does. It obviously is. Always goes wrong. Especially when you're conjuring demons on board. Yeah, yeah.
No, once you download Demons, shit's fucking, you're done. Every one of these movies, I know that... I certainly know Event Horizon. There's no people on. It's an abandoned ship. This is an abandoned ship. But there's a crew that goes onto the abandoned ship in Event Horizon. Right. Which is made more of the four people. Mm-hmm. Fuck. I hate it.
I can't get more than four people and or four fucking critters. I mean, that is the thing about these movies. What's scary about a spaceship? Not a Democrat, not- The Enterprise. When something happens on the Enterprise, like there's an alien on board, I'm like, well, good thing there's fucking 5,000 people on this ship, all with fucking phasers. Yeah. And we can teleport anywhere, so it's all good. Yeah, everyone off the ship. We good. So, at least there's...
It can't wreak too much havoc. That's why there's literally a thousand episodes of the Enterprise and, like, nothing... The ship's still going. Did the Enterprise ever have... They didn't have a mass transporter, huh? They only had the... Yeah, at least in that one beam me up, bae.
Yeah. I think that's what they call it. Yeah, beam me up, babe. We're doing beam me ups. Spock's in there like, uh-uh, beam me up. Beam me in five minutes for beam me ups. Where's Spock? He's fucking beaming up again. He's beaming himself hard. A couple beam jobs in there. A beam jay. McCoy, get those fucking beam jays out of here. Hey, beam me into her one time. See what that feels like.
Where's all the pranks where you beam him Kirk into someone's room or some shit? Beam him just into his own bathroom. He's like, God! That's like the future of dick pics. You just have a floating dick show up. He beamed his fucking dick again. He beat me down and took my clothes off in the beam, too. Left the clothes behind. He's like, clothes. Boots. Fuck, I'm a... I'm just beaming into the middle of the fucking control room naked. Got it. Got him.
Fucking hell. Space. Well, we're almost done. We got three more. Fuck me. We've already seen two of them. It sounded like it was such a good idea at the time. See, I'm... The only... You know how I am. I know what Event Horizon has in store for me, and I love it. And I know what Jason X has in store for me, and I like it. And I don't know what Leprechaun has. It's the mystery. It could tickle me. Yeah, it could be. It could also...
destroy me and my hope for space movies. The fact that these are all, except for Invent Horizon, these are all like multiple past sequels, right? Or like Jason X obviously is the way, but like all the rest of these are four. All the rest of these are four, huh? Which is very interesting to you. All of them are four. Is that really four? Yeah, yeah. Damn, that's crazy. Leprechaun 4 in space. In space. As opposed to Leprechaun 4 on Earth. Just like everything was 3, 3D, 4 in space.
Which I feel like 3D was definitely 80s, right? Maybe even 70s? Yeah. 80s. Definitely 80s. And then 4, 90s. Hey, we're going to space, folks. Fuck it. Oh, I saw Y2K. Did you like it? No. Did you see it? I haven't seen it yet. I want to watch it. I had like a, I had like, what's his name? Uh, Yeah, Kyle Mooney. Kyle Mooney. I had a Kyle Mooney day. I listened to his record. He has a new record out. It's 19 minutes long of sheer hell.
That guy doesn't do anything for me. I don't know what his appeal is. His skateboard is pretty good. Does he? He skateboard. Well, that's rad. I like him. I love the awkwardness of him for the most part, but in small doses and around other people. Because I haven't seen him do anything good on SNL. Oh, dude, I like him on SNL. What did he do? He was just mostly himself. Yeah, he seems like one of those people. Dude, fucking Baby Yoda was super good on SNL. I think he's funny, but I...
I don't know. I'd rather see him probably, like, maybe writing and directing something. Yeah, he did it. He wrote and directed Y2K. He's in it. And he's the best part of it. Really? But it's, yeah, it didn't deliver. Like, it was fun. but then it was like, it was so dumb that it was no longer fun. What's weird to me is like making a movie like that because like now all these young kids, like that's so far fucking, that's.
Like Y2K was some- Yeah, that's 25 years ago. Yeah, that's ancient history. That's some crazy shit. That's 80s for us. Yeah, crazy. That's literally like- Maybe even more. Right, but like that's, you know, when we now like fondly look at the 80s, which was like forever ago, I was a fully functioning- I mean, I'm not going to say an adult. I was a fully functioning grown person in 2000. Right. And blowing it. But like, I was functioning. You're 25 years old.
I mean, it was fun, but it was also very stupid. And it got, it was just like, at the end, I was like, give me a fucking break. I'm not. Why did I do it? So it's not accurate to the story of 2000? Well, the story is like, it's Y2K. But everything does go wrong and the computers do take over and it's like maximum overdrive-y in that way. So it's like, what if? Yeah. And it's got some funny things in it. And it's like raunchy. I liked some of it.
Kyle Mooney's character is really fucking good. I think he is the best part of it. Now that you mention it. He saved the best. part for himself he did he did yeah smart smart man yeah he's like Tarantino who writes himself into like a toe sucking scene right Well, that's the best part for him. Exactly. Best part for him. Always the best part. Always the worst part for us is Tarantino in a Tarantino movie. Always. That toe in his mouth? No. Yeah, like... I'm here for Uma Thurman's feet.
Just like any of us. Right, guys? Right, guys? At the top. I have low five feet in the air. Did you guys hear they're doing a fucking... sequel to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood with David Fincher? Yeah. Yeah, I did. No, I didn't hear anything. And Bradley Pitt. Wait, David Fincher directing? Yeah. Yeah, but like written, Tarantino written, Tarantino written, Bradley Pitt and starring and, uh,
Probably not a DiCaprio, but yeah. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, for Netflix, I think, right? Oh, whoa, like a movie or a show? I thought it was a movie. I thought it was a movie. Okay, that's cool. I'm down. I'm here for it. I like a David Fincher. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be interesting. David Fincher, I mean, like, come on, and Tarantino together on a project? That sounds wild. Yeah, that sounds wild.
I wonder how that would work because they're very different. Sure. Tarantino's waiting for... He's waiting on his last movie, right? Yeah. He's doing plays right now. Doing plays? Yeah, he's writing a play. It's like fucking foot the play. This one's called Twinkle Toes. Let's go. This one's called The Smell of the Twelve Angry Feet. It's called Heel Razor. Heel Razor?
Clive Barker's heel racer, starring Quentin Tarantino as Toe. You know what's funny? We did that entire episode, and I think we... said Clive Barker once and it was like such a brush over. We never even like really talked about Clive at all. Did he have anything to do with it? Yeah, he produced it. That doesn't mean shit. That means I've created the character until you get a producer credit. I guess so. That doesn't mean fucking nothing. That's true.
I mean, I feel like you have to be a little more involved. He threw some money at it. I doubt he was involved that much. Yeah, he said he produced it. But don't you have to be like, I agree with what you're doing. I agree with the money you're giving me. Yeah, right? Yeah, I will take it. Even the director said no, but Clive Barker said, sure, put me on there. Right. I don't think he cares, man. He's making dollars. He's like pinheads in it.
put my name on it. What Hellraiser did for me was make me actually want to watch every Hellraiser movie that, what's his name? Exists? No, the ones that are, what's his nuts, Doug Bradley's in. Yeah. Which are... Four more after that. Yeah, have fun with that, Josh. Four more movies. I kind of want to do it. I kind of want to do it. I'd sooner watch another Critters movie than fucking those Hellraisers. Give me a critter with nails in it like Pinhead.
Just clanking around a fucking spaceship that's rolling. Put a bell on one. Let's see what happens. Yeah, the pins are going in farther until it rolls. Dead. Just blood. No, I mean, you know what Hellraiser is going to have? Cenobites and stupid Cenobites, sure. But people dying. Maybe. You know? I just want to see people die. You haven't seen these movies? They start turning into PG-13 atrocities. For real? I don't know. Hellraiser. Let's see. They better be R-rated.
It's Hellraiser. Hellworld 2005. That's R. They better be R. You gotta, you gotta like get, it's a fucking Hellraiser. Get gnarly. They usually do. And there was blood and skin flaps and juice. Yeah, and these ones. I don't know about these low-budget direct-to-video nonsense that they were throwing at us.
Yeah. I don't think there's much. I don't think there's much for us, guys. Doug, get in here, do a monologue. We're going to film it. I'm there to see what he looks like. Let's see how he does it. I might just, you know, why not? Should we do a voicemail? Yes, please. Maybe we'll have one from space. Hey, what's up? It's Tony T. Yeah. I unfortunately am calling with... Another doo-doo secret. Doo-doo secrets. I started a new job in San Francisco.
And I was on my way there having some coffee and, you know, I'm excited about this new job. you know trying to make a good impression and i was opening that day and you know i go to uh put my key in the door and the key's not really working so good. At the same time, you know, I had a situation going and, uh, It was becoming an emergency. Anyways, I finally get the key to go and I'm on my way. I'm almost there. I pooped my pants. And, yeah, it sucked. So that's about it. I'm 41 years old.
And I cooped myself. Love you guys. Oh, Tony T. You poor thing. Buddy, coffee will do that to you. Coffee will do that to you. It gets you going. Gets things moving. The thing that I like about a lot of these new secrets and sometimes these guys forget to tell us is I want to hear about the aftermath, the cleanup situation. That is definitely the interesting part. What do you do? You can't go home.
You're on the clock. I guess. I mean, I don't think I have underpants that are going to withstand a full shittening without touching. There's going to be poop onto my jeans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. I'm wearing some, just some like.
What do you call them? Like the briefs that hug your little legs. Boxer briefs? Boxer briefs. Hug your little legs. The huggies. I'm wearing green man black huggies. Maybe you should be wearing huggies. They're going to shit your pants. But I mean, they're not hugging shit. They're hugging my legs, but if I shit them, there would be shit everywhere. Yeah. Chunk? Tony, was this job at a jean store? Because I don't know how you escaped with a job afterwards.
I'm always like, how do you not smell like shit? Are you taking your ass and putting it in the sink? What are you doing? That would take a while. washing your jeans you're porky pigging it in the bathroom washing your jeans in the sink yeah hey boss you throw like you like boss like hey good morning you're like And then I'll be in the bathroom for the next 45 minutes sorting this out. Like, do you take paper towels? wrap your underwear into a fucking ball and
stuff it to the bottom of a garbage can. Yeah. Or if you're, I mean, if you're in the city, if there's a window in an alley. Yeah. You're free. You just gotta be outside. Yeah. Because then it's like, that's just normal SF sidewalk. Homeless person did this doo-doo in my underwear. In my pants. Somebody shot my underwear. It's a jungle out there. Nobody go out the back. Do you think that, like, if you were to shit your pants,
I mean, I'm not bringing... You know what, actually? Currently, in my bag, I have an extra pair of underwear. Yeah, because you're a responsible adult. Just because I would stay at someone's house. And I brought two. I'm like, who knows what's going to happen? You never know. I feel like we're at over 40. That's what you need to do now. You just need to back wisely. Listeners, so far, I'm hoping, I hope I go a good long time, knocking on wood, without any...
It's going to happen someday. The way I fart. Are you kidding me? It's going to happen. See, I haven't shat my... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. But it hasn't happened yet. Yeah. When it does... If I got my bag on me, I got an extra pound to wear and socks. But you're riding that line. Those socks are just to clean up the mess. Those are for your hands. Those are mittens. I mean, what do you do?
What if you show up and you only have the keys, your wallet, t-shirt, jeans, pants, underwear, and you shit your pants? Right. And you shit your jeans, too, because we know that's what's going to happen. Yeah. Do you have to wash your jeans out and then wear wet jeans? Also... It smells like shit everywhere. You just hope to God that... The fucking underwear contained most of it, right? And you just throw those away. It'll contain the actual... And you just gotta clean up whatever... Logs.
whatever's left over onto the jeans. God, fuck. Pray for logs. But it's for logs. But no, but it's just wet. That's the thing. It's going to work like a coffee filter. Your whole jeans just fucking shat. Yeah. Oh, no. I made coffee in my jeans. Oh, my God. It's see-through. Or the filter. The underwear's a filter. It's see-through. Dude, seriously, your work that happens, you're like, My grandma just died. I got to go home. Yeah.
I had a family emergency. My family mean immediately me. I shat my grandma. My grandma does jitter pants at work on her first day. I have to go. What an idiot. I'll see you later. I got to go bring us pants. Oh my gosh. That's crazy. At work, man. Dude, that's rough. We have friends who have a story about shit in their pants like on a first date oh yeah like situations like that like it is Man, it's rough out there. You guys got to take it easy on them shits. Yeah.
You feel like you've got to squeeze a fart out. Don't. Just don't. Just let it happen naturally. I still have yet to shit my pants as a grown adult. Hey, buddy. Knock on wood. I haven't either. I'm going to try to keep that going for at least another 20 years. I have shit my pants once as a grown man. Really? He was in jail. Well, that doesn't count. You were on drugs. I was on drugs. I was giving up on life. I figured, why even sit on the toilet to shit?
I'm pretty much in an insane asylum anyways. And I cleaned up for him, and I came to, I was getting a little more coherent and less druggie, and I was like, oops, I shit my pants. So then what did you do? I'm curious to hear what you did. I did just that. I had underpants on. I had just regular old boxers on. Did you just sit in your shit the whole rest of your hours? No log?
How did you distribute the logs in jail? I don't even remember. Too many drugs. Did you distribute them to other jailers? Did you share all your logs? I know I definitely did a little scooping and throwing into the toilet. Now, were you alone or were you in a drunk tank? Alone in a drunk tank. Oh, okay. Because usually drunk tanks are filled with people, right? Movies, I've seen them. Yeah, in New York. Santa Rosa is another story. Eddie Murphy.
That's crazy. I barely remember how I cleaned my shit up. See, to me, that would be the thing I remember most. That was like 30 years ago. Yeah, that's true. I still was a kid when I shit my... I might have been 22, but I consider that childhood. No, I mean, your frontal lobe isn't fully informed until, what, 25 or 26, I believe it is. Yeah. Is it your frontal lobe or your poop lobe? Or your rear lobe. It's fine. My rear lobe's not developed yet. I'm allowed to shit my pants. Yeah, it's fine.
My mom said I can't. I'm sorry, Tony T. That's a terrible thing to have happen to you. But follow up. We want to know what happened. What's clean up like? From there on, what happened? Did anyone find out? Did they know? How did you hide it? What did you do? I don't know. Call back. Someone knows. If you had some killer chonies on that were making it so that it didn't affect your jeans, then you could just do ass clean up and raw dog, right?
Right. Yeah. I mean, I've, I've, I've wear no underpants and jeans a lot. Fuck it. Sure. I don't care, but. For one reason or another. Yeah. Usually because I shit my pants as a grown man. I threw my underwear away and will never admit it to a microphone. Yeah, I don't know. To me, that's the most interesting part of the story. It's not necessarily...
The lead up? I shat my pants. Because that's usually the same story most of the time. I'm remembering the reasons why I've actually ended up with no underpants on. And then later on the day, I was like, wow, I don't have any underpants on. I remember it was early one time. And I heard the garbage truck coming, but I hadn't put the garbage out. So I just ran through my pants on over nothing.
Ran out, threw the garbage out, and I was like, okay. Oh, I should have got to do some work. And next thing you know, it's three in the afternoon. No underwear? shit and I'm like oh my god I have no pants underpants on that's terrifying that's an easy way to get your fucking dick caught in the zipper oh yeah running out the door throwing some pants on I could have you could have lost it all I could have
That's why I throw sweatpants on when I go to take the trash out in a hurry. Keep my dong safe. Yeah, plus you get to show off with the... With your clapper. As I'm screaming at my garbage man on the road. Wait up! Like, hold on, I see a clapper. Clang, clang, clang with a trolley. I'm smuggling some cried eggs in there. Yeah, I'm going to try to not shit my pants. That's a good rule of thumb. That's something I think I advise all of our listeners and friends to do. Just try not to.
I mean, Tony, he's out here shitting his pants in the real world just for funsies. We can have stories to tell, but I appreciate it. We appreciate it, Tony. I appreciate that he says his name first and foremost. Yeah. My name's Tony T. I live at... My Instagram handle is... I love it. Feel free. I mean, if you don't want it to be a secret anymore, that's okay, too. They don't have to say secrets. You know, he's a punk rock, you know.
He's a rock and roll man. It's going to happen when he's a rock and roll man. I'm not going to blow up Tony T's spot. But Tony T is a revered musician, guitarist, bass player in many, many bands. Tony T, if you don't mind me saying which band you're in, I'd love to promote you, but maybe the other guys in your bands don't want to know about... He hasn't revealed his entire last name yet. I mean, hey, you know, Gigi Allen did it, and look where he got.
Yeah, look where he ended up. Yeah, look where he ended up. Le Grave. It's pretty punk rock to shoot your pants, though. Oh, it's legendary. Yeah. We sure do. We sure do. Thank you, Tony. Best of luck on the next time. Next job. The end of the story is I left and I got a new job. I'm not going to be able to work today. Why is that?
But shit my pants, right, as I walked in the door. So I think we're done here. I think that's about it, huh? Here's my key. Hope to never see you again. Bye. And here's 20 bucks. Don't send a paycheck. First day. yeah pants full of shit It's like everyone else. Join the club. I've been on so many buses where I saw a man's butt and dick. Why'd that happen? They were both mine. I don't know what's even worse. Everyone else saw it too.
Like a Greyhound bus is that shit. You're going to see something. They didn't make a horror movie. Yeah, it's chaos. It's called Greyhound. Yeah, just straight up taking place on a Greyhound bus. 24 hours on a Greyhound bus. It's the new Hellraiser. Seriously. It's on a greyhound. I have said shites to show you. Those fucking buses, man. That is... Yeah, it's hell on earth. That's the real Hellraiser, yeah.
I saw that the Greyhound station that I used to go to back in the 90s And Oakland is like abandoned nowadays. Really? Yeah. I'm sure they have a newer one, probably. I'm sure they move them, yeah. But the one that I was dropped off... I remember being dropped off and being like, what the fuck? Like not expecting to be dropped off in like Oakland.
Oh, I remember the one in Santa Rosa was right in front of Las Palmas when I was like, yeah, I remember picking up that one to go to fucking Pueblo, Colorado. That didn't take long. 36 hours. Yeah. For a 20 hour drive. Yeah. I used to do the 24 hour drive to Seattle all the time. Oh my God. Oh, in a Greyhound, 24 hours. Yep. Oh God.
But I never just shot my pants. That's because they have multi-toilets on the bus. Dude, I sat by that toilet once and it was the worst experience ever. I'd go straight to the back and be like, ooh, no one's going to catch me back here. And there's no reason. You'd think the back of the bus would be the sweetest place to sit. No, it's the worst. You're in the toilet. No, you use that blue toilet water. You smell like it, look like it, sound like it. Feel like it, taste like it.
All right. Well, space. Yeah. On that note, let's take our sponsor. Oh, thank you to The Next Record Store. We mentioned earlier, Next Record Store is the greatest record store around. I'll tell you what. Yeah, get a discount at thenextrecordstore.com and in person. Jeff tried it out himself. I sure did. It worked. And it's forever. You sure they didn't recognize you? Do you wear a fake mustache? Yeah. Yeah, they got the greatest stuff there. We're in there all the time.
Go to the next record store. Yeah. And if you come to Santa Rosa and you want to hang out with us, let's go to the next record store. Let's go to the next record store. Oh, we'll go with you. Shit. I'm always looking for an excuse to pick up some print CDs from a van.
But we thank them for sponsoring the show. Yeah, they're great. We thank them, and we thank all of you for listening. Yeah, they're the best. Thank you for listening, y'all. Go to patreon.com slash forevermidnight. Yeah. Event Horizon is going to be popping up there very soon. Very soon, yeah. And we love you all. Thank you so much. Not soon enough. recorded by Paul Hale, and performed by Linda Amari, Elliot Whitehurst, Paul Hale, and Chuck.