Bench Andreas Pereira
We're back to discuss the thrilling Chelsea v Leicester draw, Spurs triumph over a disappointing Manchester City, and Arsenal's lack of production away from home from their supposed stars. Pardon Our French!
Feb 04, 2020•50 min
Footy à Deux
A delusional soccer podcast hosted by Jared and Zach Rayment. The podcast has a main focus on the English Premier League but will dabble into delusional conversation concerning world football as a whole.
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Episodes
Quiet Jared
We're back to discuss the FA Cup 4th round results (or lack thereof). We discuss the best matches, manager's complaints, and a bit of transfer business. Pardon Our French!
Jan 29, 2020•32 min
Sugar, We're Going Down
The boys are back! After the weekend and midweek matches, we sit down to discuss the biggest storylines. Liverpool still unbeaten, a big London derby at the Bridge, and Ed Woodward escaping the pitchfork wielding mob. Pardon Zach's French!
Jan 24, 2020•47 min
Liverpool's Gap
The Holiday Hiatus™ has ended and we're back to discuss Liverpool's dominance, Bourenmouth's fall from grace, and the biggest storylines from the time we've been away. Pardon Our French!
Jan 13, 2020•47 min•Season 2Ep. 14
Christmas Caroling With Jack Grealish's Calves
This one gets a little off the rails. It has been a bit since we last talked, so we discussed not only last weekend, but also the midweek. Miserable Arsenal, even more miserable Everton, high flying Liverpool, and Spurs on the rise. Pardon Our French!
Dec 05, 2019•49 min
Who's Next?
This week we discuss the shortcomings of Arsenal and Manchester United in addition to Mourinho's first game in charge of Spurs, Liverpool's close call, and Manchester City's comeback win at home against a young, overachieving Chelsea side. Pardon Our French!
Nov 26, 2019•48 min
That's Before I Was Sacked
We've hopped on to do an impromptu/emergency pod regarding the big news out of North London. Mauricio Pochettino is out and Jose Mourinho is in. Good or bad move for Spurs? Special edition of Nick's betting bonanza as well. Pardon Our French!
Nov 22, 2019•35 min•Season 2Ep. 11
European Nights Ep. 4
Zach is joined by Last Word on Football's Mike Lindquist. Mike is the Manchester City content manager at Last Word on Football in addition to his role as a European writer. We discuss the bizarre finish to Man City v Atalanta, Chelsea Ajax, Spurs resurgence, Barcelona's poor play, Real Madrid's new star, and Italian club drama. Pardon Our French.
Nov 07, 2019•1 hr 5 min
Popeyes Chicken Sandwich
We sped through this one due to our late night recording but we cover Manchester United's loss to Bournemouth, Liverpool and Manchester City's comebacks, Everton Spurs draw, and Leicester's top 4 push. Pardon Our French!
Nov 05, 2019•28 min
Captain America: Chelsea's Avenger
We're back and better (but not really) than ever. This week we discuss CP10's first, second, and third Chelsea goals, Arsenal's catastrophe, Liverpool's comeback win, and more. Brother Nick joins Zach and Jared for his weekly betting bonanza. Pardon Our French!
Oct 28, 2019•1 hr 7 min
European Nights Ep. 3
Jared and Zach are back to discuss matchday 3 in the Champions League (mostly) and Europa League. There is a call to the bullpen for Nick's betting bonanza and Zach rants about the fixture list. Pardon Our French!
Oct 25, 2019•48 min
James Milner For Ballon d'Or
This week our focus is the big club that lost to the little club.... City, Man United, AND Spurs all go down in the same weekend? Our thoughts and more along with analysis of the Leicester's near success at Anfield. Pardon Our French!
Oct 08, 2019•47 min•Season 2Ep. 8
European Nights Ep. 2
Zach is joined by not so special guest, Jared, for the second edition of European Nights. We talk all English clubs involved in Europe, except for Man City and I'm only just realizing that as I type this out. Oops. Sorry City fans we'll get you next time.
Oct 04, 2019•49 min
Turkish Lord Farquad
Jared gets delusional about the Manchester United v Arsenal fixture, and not just this edition. The brothers discuss the Monday Night Football fixture in great detail, as well as Liverpool v Sheffield, Leicester's top 4 chances, Steve Bruce's job safety, and Pulisic's inability to get playing time. Plus, some spontaneous Chinese Football trivia.
Sep 30, 2019•51 min•Season 2Ep. 7
European Nights Ep. 1
For the first edition of Footy à Deux: European Nights, Zach is joined by brother Nick to talk all things Champions League and Europa League. Nick's betting bonanza (10-leg parlay he can never win) is also included.
Sep 19, 2019•40 min
Bald Quique Sánchez Flores
The brothers have a special guest, new intern Maisy! The adorable pup gets all the mentions plus spends some time breathing heavily into the mic. If that is a problem, this is not your type of show anyway. Norwich City got a famous win over the Champions, Chelsea's academy provides 5 more goals, Man United convert from the penalty spot, and Arsenal fall apart at Vicarage Road.
Sep 17, 2019•49 min•Season 2Ep. 6
Same Ole Problems
This week, Jared and Zach discuss in great detail the North London Derby. Lineups, formations, tactics, managerial decisions, the atmosphere, and the standout performers. Chelsea lost a 2 goal lead at home and Kante is clearly the missing piece. Plus, United get yet another goal from new singing Daniel James, but can't hold onto their lead.
Sep 04, 2019•55 min•Season 2Ep. 5
This Ain't It, Chief
Zach and Jared discuss the shocking results of the week where Spurs and Manchester United failed to take points at home against relegation candidates, Liverpool's maybe dominant, maybe not so dominant win over Arsenal, and Chelsea's young crew taking all 3 points at Carrow Road. Jared was delusional about Jack Grealish's hair on twitter this week so its only fitting that the delusion of the week might be good news for the fans and players alike at Villa Park.
Aug 27, 2019•58 min•Season 2Ep. 4
You Don’t Hate VAR
Footy à Deux: Jared Who? Most of the podcast is a solo show by yours truly, Zach. I discuss the VAR controversy at the Etihad with Spurs feeling lucky again, Dani Ceballos' brilliant Arsenal performance, Teemu Pukki's hat-trick and name pronunciation, Sheffield's big win, and Pogba's penalty miss. Jared takes a break from building furniture to talk Chelsea v Leicester and Liverpool v Southampton.
Aug 20, 2019•54 min•Season 2Ep. 3
Jack Grealish's Hair
Jared is away so brother Nick joins the pod for the first time! This guy might be the most delusional Rayment brother there is. He and Zach discussed the Old Trafford beatdown that United gave Chelsea, how the Premier League newcomers fared, Liverpool and City's dominance, Harry Kane's importance to the title race, and Arsenal's away clean sheet. Also, who has the worst hair in football? The title is a massive clue.
Aug 13, 2019•59 min•Season 2Ep. 2
Big Six Big Moves
Jared and Zach are back for the new season to discuss the big moves made in the transfer window made by the big six clubs in the Premier League. Of course we recorded this episode before today's official Harry Maguire announcement from Manchester United. Hopefully no one else sneaks up on us today.
Aug 05, 2019•59 min•Season 2Ep. 1
US vs Europe
We discuss in detail the US win over Spain to set up a knockout classic with the hosts, France. We also go over the biggest talking points surrounding the Women's World Cup before diving into the Gold Cup.
Jun 25, 2019•51 min
Delusion Special
We discuss all of our previous delusions from the last season on this special episode. We also discuss transfer rumors and the US Women's and Men's National Teams.
Jun 18, 2019•1 hr
The Gift That Keeps On Giving
Zach tells the story of "Un-Lucky Bar," and Jared gets Ballon D'elusional. The brothers discuss the Champions League Final for the majority of the episode, but also dive into transfer rumors for Christian Eriksen, Eded Hazard, and Maurizio Sarri. Pardon Our French.
Jun 05, 2019•1 hr 15 min
Good Ebening
Jared and Zach discuss the UEFA Europa League Final which saw Chelsea beat Arsenal 4-1 and previewed the Champions League Final between Liverpool and Tottenham. Zach rants on his Arsenal delusions and tells the story of the Barcelona Wine Bar.
May 30, 2019•1 hr 14 min
It's Coming Home
Zach's story is title, "Apologies," and is one for all Liverpool fans out there. Jared's delusion surrounds one of the Europa League final participants. The brothers discuss City's reign, Liverpool coming up just short, Brighton sacking Chris Hughton, and more.
May 13, 2019•54 min
Megamind 2: Striking From Distance
Rotoworld Fantasy Soccer columnist, Chuck Booth, joins the show to discuss Tottenham's chances in the Champions League semifinal second leg. Jared tells us "The Curse of Olivier Giroud." Zach's delusion has big (six) implications. The brothers discuss City's 1-0 win over Leicester, Liverpool's late win at St. James' Park, and how the final day does not have as many storylines as previously expected.
May 07, 2019•58 min
Here Comes the Son
Jared opens with the story of "The Minimum Wage Derby." The brothers talk about Spurs and City part 1 and 2. Places 3-6 are up for grabs but it seems like no one really wants it. Chelsea were the only ones to get a point this weekend and they had a disappointing 2-2 draw at home vs Burnley. Zach's delusional thoughts take at aim at the upcoming Manchester Derby. Could it be the title decider?
Apr 23, 2019•1 hr 11 min
Sarri Not Sorry
Zach tells the story of Four Stars Too Many and Jared has some delusions for Maurizio Sarri. The boys discuss Tottenham's chances in the Champions League and Arsenal's in the Europa League. In the title race, one team will finish second with 90+ points. Will we ever see that again?
Apr 15, 2019•1 hr 3 min
The Delayed Leap
Jared tells the story of the Delayed Leap and Zach's delusion is all to realistic with Arsenal's poor away form. The brothers discuss the FA Cup Semifinal, Champions League Quarterfinal, and Phil Jagielka's magical day on Merseyside.
Apr 08, 2019•1 hr 9 min
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